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This is my love letter to you.
I want to assure you that the holiday can and will be easy on you!
You can do this!
Irene Bangwell
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Affirmation:
This holiday, will be peaceful for me.
It will be fun for the kids.
I will not deprive them of the fun and excitement they need.
I will create time for all of us to rejuvenate.
I promise to care for myself as much as I care for them.
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Introduction:
Expectations Meet Reality
The break from school work is here. This comes with loads of mixed feelings for every
member of the family. For the children, it will be a time to break out of the school routine.
What is the regular school routine in the mind of a child? Having to get out of earlier
than they really want to in the morning, not enough time to fool around, home work,
appraisals, connecting with friends (howbeit, very regulated timing) and perhaps limited
TV.
The holiday, on the other hand, is a time to sleep in, visit with friends for longer, not have
to do homework and definitely no rules.
As parents, we are not on holiday and especially when we work outside of the home, we
want about the same level of sanity that exists during the school sessions, when they are
on holidays.
On the other hand, we know how they are performing at school and the behavioural
challenges we let slide during the term. We hope we can fix some of these during the
time we have with them during the holidays.
This is where the drama of expectations begins. The kids are excited but we are not. The
kids think it will be an all play experience but we know that is not realistic.
In this mini-book, I will share how we can draw a balance between our own expectations
and helping our kids draw some as well using time proven tips.
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Tip #1
Space Management
The first place that parents want to see some sanity is around the house.
We are afraid of the clutter and mess our children WILL create.
Solution:
1. Create a designated play area in the OUTDOORS. Make this play area safe enough
for you to nap while they play. If it’s indoor you are going to CRACK.
2. Create a simple clean up after yourself rule with a consequence of not playing the
next day. (Please don’t ask me what you will do if they don’t play)
3. Buy the right toys this holiday. Right toys have to do with children’s interest. Balance
it out with fun and learning. The reason is, should you have the consequence that
there will be no play the next day, trust me, they will abide by it.
4. Implement a no –screaming principle. That way, you can tell them that if they scream,
three times in a row, then it means they are agitated and tired and need to nap
5. Prepare their food ahead and buy them little aprons (for effect) and have the older
ones serve the younger ones when they need to eat. (You should already have a clean
after yourself rule at home).
6. When it’s time to bathe, if they can bathe themselves, implement a
dress-in-the-bathroom rule, so that there are no wet towels, dirty pyjamas and undies
lying around that will put you off.
7. Some things will fall off and break, so get ready!. They don’t mean to break them.
They will make mistakes and get into fights. Don’t become emotionally attached to
the fails. In summary, choose your battles, while keeping out breakable stuff around
their play area.
8. Finally, safety is important. We have to keep the play space outside of electricity lines,
gas pipes and driveways..
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Tip #2
Bond with the kids
The holiday will not be totally memorable if the kids played to their heart’s
content and didn’t have fun memorable moments with you. The first step to
this is to finally make out the time for bonding, whether you are a stay-at-home parent,
work from home or work outside the home.
Why is bonding important for our children? Maslow’s hierarchy of human needs, places
certain needs as foundational for all human beings. First, all humans need basic food,
shelter, clothing and sleep. Second of all is the need to feel safe. Third is the need to feel
wanted and have a sense of belonging. Research shows that in many cases, human
beings especially children will choose to have a sense of belonging over their safety.
When we don't bond with them, our children feel lonely and unimportant and this can
create a problem for them. In the cause of developing a healthy self esteem, our children
draw their first sense of validation from us.
How should you bond this holiday?
1. Demonstrate to your kids that they are a priority in how you structure your own days
and outside of home commitments. You can start by closing off early from work on
two out of five work days. You can dedicate two weekends per month to the kids. No
weddings or other commitments.
2. Sit with the kids and plan their week. Incorporate activities that will make the week fun
for them and sane for you. Just sitting on the table planning with them brings in a
sense of security.
3. Plan early morning fun routines with them as well as late night routines. You can take
selfies every day for the entire holiday and make this into a cool video you could
watch and call it our “where did the holiday go video?”
4. You can see movies on those weekends and have them choose which films they want.
You can see the movie at a cinema or make your own cinema at home.
5. Do a cook out together as a family on one of those weekends that you are available.
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6. Create love note boxes in the home. One for parents and the other for the kids. Leave
notes for the kids and ask them to leave you notes.
7. One of your evening routines could be child-hood story telling. You tell them a bit of
yours and have them share theirs. Theirs will be so funny because you are most likely
to be in it.
8. Make sure they catch you telling someone how exciting it is for you to have them
home on holidays.
9. Take a walk with the kids some of the evenings.
10. Do a beach music and dance party like event, right in your home. Have barbecue,
mock tails etc. On this day, bring in food that is not your regular household meal and
perhaps some forgotten recipes.
Whatever you decide, make sure you goof around.
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Tip #3
Build Up
Holidays are the time to also get your kids ready for the next level of school
work. And maybe not just that school work but that habit we are trying hard
to break or one we need to build up.
DISCLAIMER: We will not make the build-up ideas the fun breaker in the holiday.
1. If you are sending off a child to grade/primary school this year, it is important to
begin practicing some activities that promote a stronger sense of independence
like feeding themselves, putting on their shoes , cleaning up after eating etc..
2. You can bring in that handwriting book or some printables to help your child
whose writing was not so legible during the school term.
3. We can sit with the kids and build a “praise jar” and make this an opportunity to
learn what rewards our children will be most responsive to.
4. You can create an affirmation for your child who is timid or overwhelmed with a
new school etc.
5. Take up a personal skill building project, possibly with any of the summer
programs going on, like creative writing, coding, cooking classes, arts classes etc.
6. You can take up a volunteering experience with the kids this holiday, making them
do something to serve other.
7. This holiday in my home is a STEALM (Science. Technology. Entrepreneurship,
Arts, Literacy and Math) holiday, so we are doing science projects,taking online
coding and art classes, DIY crafts, financial education lessons, reading, literacy,
creative writing and maths we are taking online coding lessons.
8. For us, holiday gives us the opportunity to give our kids all the learning they may
not be getting from mainstream school and in a fun friendly, age appropriate way.
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Bottom line, there is so much to do in the holiday, that you would wonder where the time
went.
BONUS Tip
This holiday, read a parenting book by Irene Bangwell. Learn more about Irene
Bangwell’s books on www.amazon.com/author/irenebangwell
To learn more about how you can order her books or ask her a
parenting question, please click https://tinyurl.com/WhatsappKNOSK
or Call: +2349033338510
Follow KNOSK on social media:
Instagram: @knosk.ng
Facebook learning group: http://tiny.cc/askknosk
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