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The Emotional
IQ Model

Created By Kain Ramsay

 THE EMOTIONAL IQ MODEL 

In the video lecture we explored the Emotional IQ Model which describes the
natural order of emotions. The following is an exercise which has been
designed to help you build emotional self-awareness.

The goal of this exercise is to improve your ability to name your emotions. A
good emotional 'vocabulary' and steady self-reflection helps us to become more
aware of our emotions.

In order to develop empathy for other people’s feelings, we must first

understand our own! And we definitely can’t manage emotions that we are not
conscious of! This worksheet contains an extensive list of emotions for you to
review.

You can also add any words which are more representative of how you would
explain things, just make sure they would work in a sentence such as:
'I feel ______________ right now'.

Over the next two weeks, at least once each day, keep a journal where you write
down any emotions you felt throughout that day. Most of us have MANY
different emotions during a day.

We can also feel more than one emotion at any given time! You can use the
sample worksheet on the next page if you like . . . just make copies so you have
one page for each day.

Remember: This first step is just to strengthen your emotional self-awareness.

Don’t worry about WHY you have the feelings – at least initially. The first step is
just to notice what you are feeling and put a word to it – name it.

And especially don’t worry about how to 'make them go away' or 'fix them!' Just
notice them for now.

Described Your Current Emotions:

Right now, I feel ______________ or, I am feeling ________________.

 THE EMOTIONAL IQ MODEL 

Worksheet Instructions:

Write down as many emotions as you can describe, don’t worry if they contradict
one another...that's normal (it is possible to be happy and angry at the same time)

Notice over the course of a day if there is a lot of variation, or if you tend to
repeat one feeling over and over. Then observe over the course of a few days -
is there a lot of variation or are you repeating one feeling over and over?

If you are experiencing one feeling repeatedly, and you want to know why you
might be feeling that way, try to get to the bottom of it by using the following
'Five Why’s Exercise'.

For example, if you are repeatedly saying 'I am angry' - try to determine why by
asking 'Why does that make me feel ....' at least five times.

So you might say something like: 'I am angry because my boss yelled at me'.

Why does that make me angry? - 'Because I feel disrespected'.

Why does that make me angry? - 'Because I am a human being and I deserve to
be treated with respect and dignity'.

Why does that make me angry? - 'Because there are too many people in my life
that treat me that way ...' (Now we’re getting somewhere!)

Why does that make me angry? - And by now you will most likely be able to
see how we're beginning to establish the core reason why you feel angry (or any
other negative emotion).

Once you ask 'Why' 5 or more times, look at the list of words again. You might be
able to add another word to describe your feelings. Maybe you are angry AND
sad...or angry AND stuck (or misunderstood, or resentful, or even vengeful).

Putting a finer point on defining what we are feeling brings us closer towards
understanding ourselves and mastering our emotions.
 THE EMOTIONAL IQ MODEL 

The Five Why's Exercise

Use the lists of emotions on the following pages to define a negative emotion (or
the multiple emotions) that you're currently feeling, and answer the following
questions by filling in the gaps.

“I feel _________________ because_______________________________________________________.”

1) Why does that make me feel ____________________? (Name the specific emotion)

“I feel _________________ because _______________________________________________________.”

2) Why does that make me feel ____________________?

“I feel _________________ because _______________________________________________________.”

3) Why does that make me feel ____________________?

“I feel _________________ because _______________________________________________________.”

4) Why does that make me feel ____________________?

“I feel _________________ because _______________________________________________________.”

5) Why does that make me feel ____________________?

“I feel _________________ because _______________________________________________________.”

By now you will most likely be able to understand the main reason why you feel
the way that you do.

REMEMBER: The first half of solving a problem is understanding what it is!

 A COMPREHENSIVE LIST OF EMOTIONS (1)

“Do not let another day go by where your dedication to other people's opinions
is greater than your dedication to your own emotions!” -  Steve Maraboli
 A COMPREHENSIVE LIST OF EMOTIONS (2)

“Rather than being your thoughts and emotions, be the awareness behind
them.” - Eckhart Tolle