Sample Essay

Dancing in the Wings is a story about a girl named Sassy who

really, really loves to dance. Sassy feels insecure about her height, but
she does her best to reach her dreams anyway. In the story, Sassy is
determined to become a dancer.
In the beginning of the story, Sassy says, "Dance was all around
me. Dance was me." This shows Sassy's passion for dance and how
she saw herself as a dancer.
Later, after feeling discouraged, Sassy still decided to go to the
audition. She could have let her insecurities get the best of her, but
instead, her true love for dance encouraged her to keep trying.
Finally, Sassy again shows her determination by wearing her
bright, yellow leotard and standing right in front at the dance
audition. This is important because everyone else at the audition
chose to wear black. Sassy wanted to stand out and was determined
to be noticed.
In the end, Sassy wins the dance audition and gets the
opportunity to go to Washington D.C.. Sassy's determination helped
her to follow her dreams and become the dancer she always hoped
to be.

Key:
Hook
Claim
Leads and transitional phrases
Evidence
Why the evidence matters
Wrap it up
Reworded claim