Roxane Abby Chan October 7, 2019

BioSci - 2A Ethics Final Exam

MW 1:30 - 3:00PM

ETHICS OF LOVE

3.1 What is the central message of the book?

The central message of the book is Love. It explains the meaning of love and happiness. It
explained what true love is and shared some reality about love and the author’s
experiences on love.

3.2 What is the author’s definition of happiness?

The author’s definition of happiness is being with the ones you love. Only love can make
a man happy. However, it cannot be denied that the material things such as a house, a car,
or the career can make a person happy. But, such things does not last and these material
things can be replaced. Only love, to the right person, lasts a lifetime that can truly bring
real happiness.

3.3 How did the author explain the meaning of love?

The author explained the meaning of love as a sentiment that begins with an ideal. An
ideal person, ideal life, or ideal moment, equating love with another person’s good
qualities. Love is a fantasy or conspiracy which is a decision that is anchored in the
persistence to commit oneself. Love is about fully giving everything and one does not
need to have a reason for love. Love is about what a person truly feels in their heart that
pushes them to desire a life worth living and a desire the to magnify the happiness of the
heart.

3.4 How does one deconstruct the above meaning?

Love is undecidable. It is a confusing feeling that causes a person to reduce true love into
a question of absence or presence. When asked, a person cannot explain what they truly
feel because love is abstract and impossible yet real.
3.5 What are the elements of a successful relationship?
The elements of a successful relationship is first, love. Love that is deep and not based on
superficial attraction. A mature kind of love that has the risk of losing each other forever,
not the assurance that one will always be there. Second, appreciation, in order to keep
each other happy, appreciate the efforts, no matter how big or small. In that way you can
provide assurance to you partner that they matter which is the third element of a
successful relationship. Lastly, freedom, women loves their “me-time” as much as a man
loves his whisky. Let your partner do the things they love and are passionate about and
more importantly support them in the things that make them happy and make them a
better person.

3.6 Some relationships fail. Why?

Some relationships fail because the basis of some relationships is physical attraction.
Physical attraction are superficial admiration that may fade in time. Some relationships
are rooted with physical attraction which is not a very strong foundation for a lifetime
commitment. It was stated in the book that lifetime commitment cannot be found in
physical attraction. Both should be constantly interested in each other and not only
physically but also mentally and emotionally.

3.7 Why does loving mean pain?

Loving mean pain because in the end all you have is the memories. It is what our soul
remembers deep within. The person is gone but the feelings and memories stay. It is a
sweet torture that a person endures as long as he lives. Memories kept a person happy
until he realizes all the sufferings they’ve felt before the love has gone.

3.8 Why do people fear rejection?

People fear rejection because according to the book “Love is all about being wanted.” So,
being rejected means not wanted and not wanted means not loved. In reality, people
actually fear not to be liked or to be loved which people link to rejection. People are
 afraid that they will never be happy or no one will ever appreciate them and the things
they do.

3.9 What is the theme of the last poem in the book?

The theme of the last poem in the book entitled “Girl to Suitor” is about a girl who once
loved and got hurt that she no longer wishes to entertain any suitor. From the lines,
“Don’t waste your effort on me, I am not your mother” and “Don’t waste your kindness on
me, I can afford my own chocolates”, it can be depicted that the girl has grown to be cold
and independent that she seems to reject any effort and gifts from her suitor. In the lines,
“Don’t waste those roses on me, I have had enough suffering” and “Don’t waste your lies
on me, I just killed the last man who did”, implies that the girl is hurt and was once
fooled by the person she truly loved and trusted. However, in the line, “Don’t waste your
time on me, I cannot love you”, the girl is seem to be stuck with her previous lover and
still have lingering feelings that she ‘cannot’ love another.

3.10 What are phantom feelings?

Based on the book, having phantom feelings means that a person is under the impression
of being in love, but in reality, the two people does not belong in the same wavelength
and suddenly hits the realization that the two are actually not connected. Phantom
feelings are feelings based on the attributes perceived by the senses that doesn’t actually
last long. In other words, phantom feelings are nothing but mere infatuation.