"Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

" It's a notion that's been repeated countless times

throughout history. But, for such a popular line, it's interesting that we're not sure who first
said it.

Some research states the phrase was first published in 1602 as the first line of an anonymous poem
in Francis Davison's anthology Poetical Rhapsody, although this has been disputed.

Similar sentiments, if not the actual phrasing, were found in Thomas Overbuy’s work Characters
published in 1616—“Absence doth sharpen love, presence strengthens it”—and James Howell's
Familiar Letters in 1650: "Distance sometimes endears friendship, and absence sweetens it.” This
tends to happen with the creation of poetry, storytelling, and lyrics. Since the human experience is a
shared one, it's only natural that our expressions of emotion will overlap with one another.

However, many believe that it was Thomas Haynes Bayly who brought the notion to life in his poem
titled Isle of Beauty which appeared in his two-volume work Songs, Ballads, and Other Poems in
1844. He wrote:

"What would not I give to wander

Where my old companions dwell?

Absence makes the heart grow fonder;

Isle of Beauty, fare thee well!"

Bayly, sadly, never got to see how his phase captured people’s imagination and grew into a popular
saying, as he died 10 years before the poem was published.

The Meaning of “Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder”

When we hear the phrase, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder", we think of our personal
emotions for those we love. In Bayly's poem, he's referring to a particular place that he held dear. Of
course, there's an indication that he misses the people there as well, but the title Isle of Beauty
suggests that absence was making his heart grow fonder for a beautiful stretch of land.

We tend to recognize this phrase as a reference to long-distance relationships or lovers who don't
know when they'll see each other again. It is also used to refer to families or friends who are
separated. How many times have we said this line to a friend who called to express her dismay over
her husband's need to travel for work or a girlfriend's departure for a university several hundred
miles away? While for centuries this phrases has been held to be true, today countless articles have
scrutinized absence's effect on the heart. A study cited by USA Today claims that the notion is
absolutely true and CNN suggests college students who are forced to spend time apart will
experience a stronger relationship. However, Huffington Post refutes the claim, stating that couples
find being apart too challenging.

Examples and Variations

Literature and lyricism are such gifts to us because we can reflect on them, expand our minds, and
play around with words. Dean Martin had some fun with the notion in his song titled “Absence
Makes the Heart Grow Fonder (for Somebody Else).” Other writers also had their own variations on
absence's ability to make the heart grow fonder.

Absence - the common cure of love. - Lord Byron

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but it sure makes the rest of you lonely. - Charles M. Schulz

I like to think I get better with age, but maybe absence makes the heart grow fonder. - Bonnie Raitt

They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, And that tears are only rain to make grow love.
- Ray Charles

Proverbs often contradict one another, as any reader soon discovers. The sagacity that advises us to
look before we leap promptly warns us that if we hesitate we are lost; that absence makes the heart
grow fonder, but out of sight, out of mind. - Leo Rosten

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The Heart of the Matter

So, do we long for people more when they're not with us every day? Throughout history, writers,
philosophers, and musicians seem to think so. It seems that the saying "Absence makes the heart
grow fonder" still has its place among individuals, groups of friends, and pop culture and society.

As we ponder the truth behind it, let's all allow our hearts to grow fonder for everyone in our
life, near or far. Perhaps it'll even spark a poem within us that people will quote for
generations to come! Some research states the phrase was first published in 1602 as the first
line of an anonymous poem in Francis Davison's anthology Poetical Rhapsody, although this
has been disputed.

Similar sentiments, if not the actual phrasing, were found in Thomas Overbuy’s
work Characters published in 1616—“Absence doth sharpen love, presence strengthens it”—
and James Howell's Familiar Letters in 1650: "Distance sometimes endears friendship, and
absence sweetens it.” This tends to happen with the creation of poetry, storytelling, and
lyrics. Since the human experience is a shared one, it's only natural that our expressions of
emotion will overlap with one another.

However, many believe that it was Thomas Haynes Bayly who brought the notion to life in
his poem titled Isle of Beauty  which appeared in his two-volume work Songs, Ballads, and
Other Poems in 1844. He wrote:
"What would not I give to wander
Where my old companions dwell?
Absence makes the heart grow fonder;
Isle of Beauty, fare thee well!"

Bayly, sadly, never got to see how his phase captured people’s imagination and grew into a
popular saying, as he died 10 years before the poem was published.

The Meaning of “Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder”

When we hear the phrase, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder", we think of our personal
emotions for those we love. In Bayly's poem, he's referring to a particular place that he held
dear. Of course, there's an indication that he misses the people there as well, but the title Isle
of Beauty suggests that absence was making his heart grow fonder for a beautiful stretch of
land.

We tend to recognize this phrase as a reference to long-distance relationships or lovers who

don't know when they'll see each other again. It is also used to refer to families or friends who
are separated. How many times have we said this line to a friend who called to express her
dismay over her husband's need to travel for work or a girlfriend's departure for a university
several hundred miles away? While for centuries this phrases has been held to be true, today
countless articles have scrutinized absence's effect on the heart. A study cited by USA
Today claims that the notion is absolutely true and CNN suggests college students who are
forced to spend time apart will experience a stronger relationship. However, Huffington
Post refutes the claim, stating that couples find being apart too challenging.

Examples and Variations

Literature and lyricism are such gifts to us because we can reflect on them, expand our minds,
and play around with words. Dean Martin had some fun with the notion in his song titled
“Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder (for Somebody Else).” Other writers also had their
own variations on absence's ability to make the heart grow fonder.

1. Absence - the common cure of love. - Lord Byron

2. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but it sure makes the rest of you lonely. -
Charles M. Schulz
3. I like to think I get better with age, but maybe absence makes the heart grow fonder. -
Bonnie Raitt
4. They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, And that tears are only rain to
make grow love. - Ray Charles
5. Proverbs often contradict one another, as any reader soon discovers. The sagacity that
advises us to look before we leap promptly warns us that if we hesitate we are lost;
that absence makes the heart grow fonder, but out of sight, out of mind. - Leo Rosten

Advertisement

The Heart of the Matter

So, do we long for people more when they're not with us every day? Throughout history,
writers, philosophers, and musicians seem to think so. It seems that the saying "Absence
makes the heart grow fonder" still has its place among individuals, groups of friends, and pop
culture and society.

As we ponder the truth behind it, let's all allow our hearts to grow fonder for everyone in our
life, near or far. Perhaps it'll even spark a poem within us that people will quote for
generations to come!