COMA101-W November 11, 2019

The Mechanics of Every Beginning

In our day to day lives, we encounter different kinds of people. And in those instances,
there arises the need to get to know them, oftentimes driven by various motivating factors. The
process of knowing each other and establishing a certain relationship between the two of you
becomes evident. Just like building foundation with other people, time is invested to be spent
together with the involved person. Your relational status now changes from strangers to a level
gradually approaching a higher degree of intimacy.
Before the people we currently rely to became a part of our lives, they were once the same
people we never expected to be close with. We once experienced all the awkward silences and
uneasy glances when we first met people. There are chances when we initiate conversations just
to break the silence and cease the glances. And that is how Uncertainty Reduction Theory works.
Imagine a person whose wearing a hat, sunglasses, face mask, and with layers of coats and
jackets walking around the park. That is how we can describe the complexity of a person. We are
all comprised of different components, each of us having things hidden from the surface, away
from the eyes of the common. According to Chuck Berger, Uncertainty Reduction Theory answers
the question of “why are you starting a conversation involving this person?” with a “because I
want to know her, who she is and why is she like that.” The reason behind the occurrence of
communication taking place among humans is to deepen our understanding of a certain matter by
taking an attempt to decrease the uncertainty we have of that person. In that way, now that we are
more at ease given that we get to know a part of them, it now becomes the basis of how our
behavior should be when we are with them. We now know where to place ourselves and that
enables us to predict the outcome of our interactions. In accordance to this theory, there are three
things that drives us to lessen the uncertainty of a person we just met if: 1) we are sure that there
are future meetings aside from what you had; 2) they have control over something we desire; and,
3) they are different (Griffin 125). From this, we can derive that the closeness of one’s relationship
lies on the level of uncertainty one has. Lower levels of uncertainty could bring the person and the
relationship to reach higher levels of intimacy. It can be noticed how we act when we are already
comfortable with a friend, we start to share something personal. Our talks now vary from simple
weather commentary to things we often refuse to accept, even amongst ourselves. We tend to
proceed in creating a deeper connection with that person for we are assured of decreased
uncertainty level. From that, we move towards Social Penetration Theory.
The line that draws Social Penetration away from Uncertainty Reduction is the focus of the
former solely on self-disclosure. Going back to the example with the man wearing a hat, sunglasses
and the like. As mentioned, the layers of coats and jackets and everything he is wearing as a cover-
up symbolizes the layers that person consists of; from the surface area holding the most obvious
preferences and shallow aspects all down to the secrets only he, himself, knows. Every layer that
is penetrated by another person’s knowledge through the sharing of his own, leads to a more
intimate relationship. It is like how we say it as “allowing people into our lives,” we let them know
us as we give them some of our thoughts and experiences. In that way, they will respond with also
sharing their own. Now, an exchange of information is taking place in an attempt to get to know
each other. Surely there are instances you’ve encountered where you suddenly shared something
to a friend so she can feel trusted and assured of how your relationship status is. We, people, think
of how personal things are that we share to another as a basis how close we are to them. It becomes
the determinant of intimacy in the relationship. This theory of Irwin Altman and Dalmas Taylor
tells how transparency and any sense of vulnerability of a person through self-disclosure initiates
the development to take place in terms of closeness in a relationship (Griffin 114).
Both of the theories believe that the intimacy of a relationship lies on the level of self-
disclosure one commits to the other (since it allows another to penetrate into the layers of his/her
personality and who he/she really is; Social Penetration Theory), and that would be brought upon
if and only if the uncertainty level between the two involved decreases (Uncertainty Reduction
Theory). Knowing these two theories comes handy all the time, since we are not aware when will
there be another time that we meet a person we’ll soon call a friend of ours. This allows us to be
more mindful of how the other party will respond, and to how we’ll also give an appropriate reply.
Especially if we are really aiming to develop a relationship with the person involved. Being
informed how self-disclosure works in communication lets us know the effect it brings once
employed by a communicator. In that way, we can aspire to be better (although not perfect for it
is not plausible) in interpersonal communication and starting anew in relationships and dealing
with other people.
References:
“Social Penetration Theory.” A First Look at Communication, by Emory A. Griffin, McGraw-
Hill Humanities/Social Sciences/Languages, 2015, pp. 113–124.
“Uncertainty Reduction Theory.” A First Look at Communication, by Emory A. Griffin,
McGraw-Hill Humanities/Social Sciences/Languages, 2015, pp. 125–137.