“When you learn, teach. When you get, give” (Angelou).

Not everyone is fortunate to have many

opportunities, and it is essential for those who were given a step up to help others. I have a life that in a
perfect world would have been an ease, but life is not perfect. I have gone through experiences that have
taught me for the better, and I feel it is right to give back. My past and past priorities have led to who I am
today and my current priorities. I am lucky to have a life where I have been comfortable, money-wise.

As a kid, I did believe the phrase “money buys happiness” because more money means more toys, but I
also didn’t fully understand the concept of money. Toys and the television filled up most of my day, and I
wasn’t worried too much about anything. I stayed home with my grandmother, who always was watching
Chinese dramas, and I would sit next to her watching, and I learned Mandarin from the shows. I have
never overthought about the absence of my parents because I knew they were at work, and I have grown
up with them being consistently absent. As a result, I never asked for much and remembered holding my
tongue because I was too anxious and nervous to ask my parents. I was grateful for the toys I had, and I
did whatever gave me happiness in the moment and did not think of the consequences. The only things
that ever came close to giving me stress was pleasing everyone and protecting who I could. If I ever went
shopping or anywhere I would be behind everyone because if there a shooter came from behind, I would
get hit and it would allow everyone in front of me some time to run for safety. School grew my urge to
please everyone since I lacked much social interaction with kids before I started school. I never became
close to anyone at my school because they were just people I would talk to at school and I didn’t
understand the concept of best friends or friend groups.

I went to a public school during my elementary years. I met a wide variety of people, and it opened my
mind to the different struggles many of my peers were going through. Many talked about their parents’
divorce, skipping meals because they couldn’t afford it, psychological and mental disorders, and so much
more. The transition from playing all day to going to a place where you had to learn was something I
didn’t fully adjust to until later years in elementary. I didn’t see the importance of school rather than just
going because I was forced to go. I prioritized having fun and rarely paid attention in my classes. I would
hear the teacher teaching the lessons, but I never fully processed the lessons. However, the school did
open the door to stress. Report cards would come at the end of each quarter, on a scale of 1-3, 3 being the
best. The feeling of stress would overfill me when my report card came in, and my heart would drop
whenever I got a 2 in a subject. These report cards only gave me stress when I received them, but it didn’t
change my worth ethic. I still prioritized happiness rather than school.

The work ethic of not caring too much of school would only last until at least the third grade. My parents
were immigrants, and they gave up a lot to come to the United States in hopes of a good future for their
children. I didn’t understand why I was expected to have all A’s when my peers' parents praised their kids
for having a B average. I remember the anger my mother would have if I didn’t do well on assignments or
tests and being yelled at and put in a tutoring program to be a better student. The pain of listening to harsh
words and going through a rigorous program did develop my work ethic, and I learned to strive to be one
of the bests. I would beat myself mentally, and my own words were hurting me more than my parents’.
Something clicked in my head where I set my expectations high, and I had to reach it. I prioritized school
higher, but happiness was still my top priority. School brought me no joy because I didn’t have many
friends and had no interest in the work; the only thing pushing me through was the future. I daydreamed
and played pretend of me as an adult. Books and movies portrayed adulthood to be fun and having so
much freedom. I wanted to be living by myself with pets, eating whatever I pleased, and doing anything I
wanted to do. I would imagine myself to magically become rich and famous and living a life with ease.

I quickly realized that the dream was unrealistic. Money couldn’t bring happiness. Life brings forth
people who - suck. Like I mentioned before, I saw many different struggles other students were going
through, so I was grateful for what I had and rarely ever complained. I was also innocent, no clue that
there were people out to hurt others, whether it be out of habit or for their pleasure. I lost someone who
raised me, I watched them slowly deteriorate, slowly cripple down into a hospital bed, and suddenly at
one in the morning, there was a phone call. In my head, I knew what had happened. I would have to wake
up in five more hours, go to a school that I was new to, had no friends, and push through. I never got the
time to grieve properly; I just covered it up as a fun, expensive trip to New York. I didn’t ever want to
feel the pain again, so I focused on others’ problems. I was immersing myself in a dangerous path of
mental illness, but I was doing it willingly because I didn’t want anyone to go through pain. I pushed my
stress and worries aside; their problems seemed more than mine, I shouldn’t complain. My feelings were
driven away, and then high school came. I kept pushing my struggles away; I was still in the mindset that
I had to help everyone else, and my problems shouldn’t even be considered problems. I also was pushing
myself to be at the top, setting my expectations even higher. Then I crashed, the pain that I ignored had
caught up to me, and I began to deteriorate slowly. Problems I have hidden since kindergarten was
keeping me up at night and I didn’t know who to tell. I still struggle with it now, and I feel bad for telling
someone my thoughts, whether it be because of my distrust in every one or I don’t want to burden them. I
hid it and went on until the school administrators stepped in.

I have learned to prioritize the trusted adults in my life, friends, and most importantly, myself. I learned
that the healthiest time was when I prioritized happiness above anything else. My education is still highly
prioritized because, in the future, I hope to work in the medical field to help people. I have always been
wired to put others before myself, and why I think I find myself thoroughly enjoy volunteering. Currently,
I am going with the flow, and I believe whatever happens happens for a reason. Going through the events
I went through was necessary for me because I mentally put so much strain on myself, I developed
functional heartburn. I have to help myself or else I would be in physical pain. I now know who I can trust
and who I can talk to about my struggles. I am so thankful for everyone, and I hope in the future, I will be
helping more people beyond just me.