Mental

Toughness

The guide to improving performance, achieving success and reaching your
goals through mental toughness training

William Anderson
 PUBLISHED BY: William Anderson

Copyright © 2016 All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be copied, reproduced in any format, by
any means, electronic or otherwise, without prior consent from the
copyright owner and publisher of this book.

What can you expect from this book?

Do you want to know how to do the following?

Increase your mental toughness?
Set goals that matter and will motivate you?
Complete tasks more effectively?
Move on from failure the right way?
Gain the right mental attitude?
React your best under pressure every single time?
Endure any ordeal life throws at you?
Reach all your personal and professional goals?
Gain spectacular success with a fearless and positive perspective?

This book covers all the above and more by showing you how to harness
the strength of your character, tap into the potential of your own will, and
dramatically increase your mental toughness.

Get started right here and now and read on.

Contents
Introduction
Chapter 1 – What is mental toughness?
Chapter 2 – Find your motivation
Chapter 3 – Break down your goals
Chapter 4 – Gain the right perspective
Chapter 5 – Delay your gratification
Chapter 6 – Deal with failure
Chapter 7 - Deal with pressure
Chapter 8 – Maintain your mental toughness
Conclusion
Introduction

I want to take this chance at the start to give you my heart-felt thanks for reading my book. I know how
valuable your time is and I know that by the time you have finished reading this book you will feel far
better equipped to hit your personal targets and reach your own goals in life. In this book I want to share
with you the strategies and techniques I have shared with many other people in a personal and
professional capacity for over twenty five years ever since I became fascinated in the human mind and
mental toughness.

Mental Toughness. Grit. Determination. Resilience. These are words very commonly used in sport and
business today. They are so common that people rarely ask exactly what they actually mean and focus
mainly on the fact they do not seem to have “it” – whatever they think it is. It becomes a reason to justify
their own failures or shortcomings. “If only I had the same determination”, “I wish I could motivate to get
up each day and train”, “I’d love to get that much done but I just can’t quite seem to manage it” are all
things people have said to me in my professional role as a teacher and coach or on the personal level as a
friend. I have given the same reply to them all - “You can do it and by practicing some key skills and
finding the right motivation you will do it.”

Every single one of those people has gone on to reach their goals and to gain the things that were
important to them. It might be personal bests in sport, it can be smashing sales in business, it can often be
reducing that to-do list every day. The simple fact is that everybody can achieve their goals through
enhancing their mental toughness.

In this book I will show you how to be more productive in less time, how to reach all of your goals, how
to avoid feeling constantly overwhelmed by jobs, how to plan your time effectively, how to prioritise and
perhaps most importantly how to carry on when you hit a brick wall. Because you will. Nobody has made
it through life without adversity at some point. It is the way that you react, the actions that you take when
things seem against you, that will eventually define you.

It is about training your mind so that when things are difficult – at work or at home – you can make the
right choices about what you want to do, to re-adjust and to continue to strive for everything that is
important. I will show you how to adjust your habits and your actions to always get ahead, to carry on
regardless, to hit your goals each and every time – and, most importantly of all, to be genuinely happier in
doing so.

Let’s read on and get started right now.
Chapter 1 – What is mental toughness?

“Concentration and mental toughness are the margins of victory” – Bill Russell

Most people have a vague concept of what mental toughness is but often find it quite hard to express it
exactly. It is always easy to point to the great athletes of our time, the football players, the runners, the
tennis players, the rowers and say “that’s mental toughness – look at their success” and that is indeed part
of it. However, there is normally far more to it than that. Looking at famous sportsmen and women and
reducing mental toughness to that very narrow group of people is wholly counter-productive. It
strengthens the feeling that mental toughness is unattainable, that only the tiniest percentage of human
beings ever attain mental toughness, that you have to be able to run up and down Everest before you are
classified as mentally tough. The next thought process from there is to think, “I’m not a world class
athlete. Therefore I can’t ever have been or will ever be mentally tough”.

Nothing is further from the truth. The simple reality is that everyone can be mentally tough. If you are
reading this you are probably already further down the path than most. Never, ever make the mistake of
thinking that this is an unattainable goal, that only special people can do it and for some reason you
cannot. Being mentally tough is nothing more than training yourself repeatedly in the correct way, doing
the right things at the right time and believing in yourself.

Let me give you one example, just from my own home life, where I have seen mental toughness at its
absolute strongest. When I’ve done that I would like you to think of just one example where you have seen
the same thing or even done the same yourself. For now, here is mine.

I come from a family with a brother who is four years older than me. When my brother was 13, he
desperately wanted a dog for a pet. He asked my father over and over, he did all the research, he saved up
money to help pay for it and pleaded and pleaded and pleaded. My father was initially reluctant. Not so
much for financial reasons, but he had a dog when he was younger and he knew how much work was
involved. He was primarily concerned with the dog’s welfare – Who would walk it? Who would clean
it? Who would feed it?

Now my brother was adamant he would do it all. He swore that no matter what he would take the dog out
every day. No matter what the weather, no matter how tired he was or if he felt a little low or busy – he
would always go for a walk. Every. Single. Day. After a couple of months of this begging my parents
relented. We would have the dog. My brother would do the work, but he could have the dog.

The dog came and he was great. He was a terrier, a lovely creature who very quickly became part of the
family. For four months my brother was true to his word. He would willingly take him out every day, rain
or shine. He fed him, bathed him, took him to the vet – my father paid for everything but he was delighted
to see such commitment. After those initial four months however, my brother had other commitments
piling up. School work, a part time job, he wanted a greater social life with friends and then girls. His
attention to the dog was stretched and he found his time under more and more pressure. He still
maintained his efforts though despite the fact he was clearly becoming more and more tired.

After a week or so my father spoke to him. He told him he admired his determination so far and was in
many ways delighted to have been proved wrong in doubting his commitment. He was impressed that
despite other things competing for his time he had carried on and placed the dog first. He admired my
brother’s toughness. And then he made him an offer – the two of them would share the burden. They
would alternate between them each day the walking and the feeding. Each of them would take on half the
responsibility for the dog. This was the deal for the dog to stay. If my brother broke the agreement, if he
reneged on his part, the dog would go. My brother agreed and from that day on the dog never missed a
walk. He would go out in the vilest of weather – snow, rain, hail – no matter. The two of them shared the
responsibility every day for nine years. They never missed a day.

For me, as an observer, there were two lessons. Firstly, I was impressed by the mental strength to go for
an hour’s walk even when you might feel exhausted. Even when you might have had a long day at work,
hungry and tired, one of them would go out on that walk. That in itself was a really big task. The second
lesson was about targets. It was unrealistic for my brother to have promised to do it all and my father
knew it. However, he let it go at first, confident in the fact that he believed my brother could and should
re-appraise and re-assess regularly.

He believed that when my brother was faced with a target that was difficult but still attainable that he
would then push himself to achieve that target and indeed he did, without missing a beat, for years. My
father was happy for his part to share the burden out of love for his son and he was happy to take on
additional responsibility of his own in order to teach his son about obligation and responsibility. The
revised target they agreed between themselves was difficult, very difficult, but there were two critical
factors: it was attainable and the motivation was there. More on these factors later.

What mental toughness means

Mental toughness is not about running three marathons in a day. It is something you may well see around
you all the time without even realising it. It is the ability to carry on – to persevere even when conditions
are difficult and circumstances seem to conspire against you. It is the strength to continue when adversity
strikes and to recognise that it inevitably will – that it is how you respond that is important.

It is the strength to set yourself a target that is difficult, but attainable, and to persevere until that target is
met. To embrace difficulties and fears and worries and to move through. Mental toughness means you can
carry on regardless of the most difficult circumstances you will find yourself in. It means becoming a
stronger person and having the confidence to always reach for your goals

Ultimately, it is about finding the right motivation to push yourself beyond what you thought you could
manage and still be confident that you will succeed. And every single one of us is capable doing that.

Of course, it is one thing to be aware exactly what mental toughness is, but another to be able to acquire
it, to nurture it and then to maintain it at the highest level. Over the course of this book I will cover the
strategies and techniques you can use every, single day to reach all of your targets through your own
strength of will.
Chapter 2 – Find your motivation

"By recording your dreams and goals on paper, you set in motion the process of becoming the person
you most want to be. Put your future in good hands – your own.” Mark Victor Hansen

Many people today have a general dissatisfaction with life. They are unable to pinpoint precisely what it
is but they feel something is missing. It might be financial concerns or lack of promotion at work. It might
be in relationships with family or friends. It might be as simple as not having the latest model of car or
going on a holiday somewhere exotic every six months. The problem with most people is that they have
no idea what they actually want.

We live in a hectic society with pressures from multiple places. We work in order to survive, to provide
for a family perhaps, and we rush from one apparent crisis to the next. Always reacting, always
firefighting, never taking the time to ask why. Why am I doing this? What do I want to achieve today?
Tomorrow? Next year? With my life? What will I look back on and be proud of achieving? Did I
genuinely make a difference?

What makes you happy?

What I want you do to in this chapter is to think. Think about what it is that makes you happy. Think what
you would do for instance if money were no object. If you did not have to go to work would you still go?
Would you pack up and travel the world? What would you do differently? Would you have different
responsibilities? Would you exercise more? Would you read more? Would you listen to music more?
Would you learn to cook? Would you see family more? Would you take the dog out three times a day?
What, given unlimited time and resources, would you do that would leave you feeling happy?

Make a list

Make a list right now. It can be as long or as short as you like – there is no particular number of points
you should try and write but commit it to paper. One critical factor to note before you do so however,
which is often ignored by peoples is this: you cannot control the uncontrollable. When you are setting your
list take care to focus only on these things which you can control. You may wish to live forever but that is
not going to happen! You may wish family members to avoid every type of illness or that you win the
lottery or anything else which is wholly beyond your control.

Do not attempt to look at areas where there is nothing you can do to effect any change. Struggling here is
inevitably going to be a losing battle as, by definition, there is nothing you can do that will make any
difference. You will not be able to hit that target however do not let that deter you from stretching yourself
to aim for other targets that are within your grasp. John Wooden, the famous coach once said, “Do not let
what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.” Take these words to heart as you look over your list
of goals

Work out your priorities

Once you have written out your list and have it in front of you examine it closely. Now take each item in
the list, no matter how big or small, and ask yourself how you would feel if you never met that target. If
that goal were never reached over the course of your life how much would regret it? Let’s take an easy
example. You might have put down you would have liked to have seen every film Alfred Hitchcock ever
directed or read every play Shakespeare ever wrote. These are perfectly reasonable goals and you may
well regret it if you never reached that goal. Having said that, we are looking to prioritise our goals – to
establish what it is that is important.
For example, is it a goal in itself to earn a big salary or is your actual goal to pay off your mortgage an
own your home outright? Two different things however it is often easy for us to lack clarity and vision
when it comes to our own targets. Give each target a number out of 10 where 10 is critical for your
happiness and 1 would be an optional extra – all things being well – that you would like to have. Each
person is different here but some of the reasons I have seen given a 10/10 for critical have been the
following:

Guarantee safety and financial security for family
Gain career progress
Feel emotionally fulfilled at work and home
Establish strong relationships with partner
Allow a creative side to flourish
Set aside a dedicated time for “me”
To continue to better personal bests at various sports
To gain a particular financial target
To return something to society in general
Of course, these are just examples – each person has a different set of priorities, goals and targets in their
own life. What they are is not the important issue – it is knowing what they are that is critical. How can
you possibly expect to reach a target if you do not even know what it is?

Recognise your own goals

Now look at all those targets you have given a 10. There in front of you, no matter how many there are,
are what you consider to be most important to you. It is critical at this stage that you are honest with
yourself. Do not consider what your partner would like you to do, what your family would like, what your
friends would like, what society would like you to do or be.

This must come from within you – an honest appraisal of your own personal goals. They must be your
own as you will draw strength from these when times are more difficult. When you are struggling in any
way, I want you to remember these broad targets, the ones with a 10 next to them, the ones that are going
ultimately make you a happier and stronger person.

The number of these is irrelevant. Some people might say you should have one, some might say three,
some ten. They are all wrong. There is no perfect number you should aim to reach, no right answer. This
is not a test for you to pass or fail. However many you feel is correct for you to be where you want to be
is correct.

The first step taken

What you have now is a vital step on the path to mental toughness. You have a list of goals. A purpose on
which to focus – something you know is the important thing in your life. You now go to work, not simply
to earn a pay packet, but to strive to reach this goal. You might sacrifice your time not to carry out some
mundane task but as a means to an end. You might endure the pain of an extreme exercise session not
because someone told you to but because it is your own target. In the same way an Olympic athlete
focuses on a single prize once every four years, you now have your prize in sight.
Let’s read on to see how we can reach these seemingly big targets and learn not only to endure, but
embrace all that we encounter.
Chapter 3 – Break down your goals

“People with goals succeed because they know where they’re going” – Earl Nightingale

Mental toughness is not something that is acquired overnight. It is an ongoing process that will start off
with small steps and get stronger and stronger. You should think of growing mentally tough in exactly the
same way as you might improve your physical strength. No-one walks into a gym after years of inactivity
and will be able run a marathon on the treadmill or lift 200 pounds. Instead, you start slowly, with
difficult, but attainable goals and as you reach them you recalibrate, gradually improving your strength
and overall fitness.

Becoming mentally tough is exactly the same. You might have set yourself a challenge to walk to work
each day or to school or to a restaurant. Perhaps this is a couple of miles away where normally you would
have caught the bus or driven yourself. It is unlikely you will be able to achieve this consistently without
first breaking this down to a series of much smaller, attainable goals. One method here for example would
be simply to get off one stop earlier on your bus. That’s it. Rather than being carried as close as possible
challenge yourself to get off just one stop earlier. This is not a big challenge but bear in mind as you are
doing so that the eventual goal is to become healthier, live longer and be with those you love as long as
you wish. After a two or three days this will now be your new stop. It will be a natural process to give
yourself just that extra walking distance that in turn allows you a couple of extra minutes to plan your day
ahead.

The following week, repeat the process and get off another stop earlier. Enjoy the extended walk, observe
your surroundings and again enjoy the fact that you are embracing a challenge you have set yourself as
well as getting closer to long term goals. The next week do the same. Get off one stop earlier. You will
soon be finding this process easier and easier. Your mental toughness is stronger just as a muscle gets
stronger after repeated use.

There are many, many other examples in life where this same strategy can be employed. In fact, you can
use it just about anywhere. Here are some more situations which may well be applicable to you right
now:
You can steadily increase your time exercising by 3 minute intervals – imagine how quickly
this would accumulate over time and lead to increased fitness
You resolve to increase your personal finance by eliminating that expensive sandwich for
lunch you buy every day from the shop and making your own, healthier lunch at home to bring
in. Firstly you cut it out on Tuesday, and then progressively a further day a week until that
expense has gone entirely. Now start again with another target – perhaps the morning coffee?
You have resolved to further your personal development by reading more and watching less
 TV. You start by cutting out a few minutes each day or by eliminating one show you watch
more out of habit than from any pleasure. You spend that time reading more and opening
yourself up to acquiring more knowledge and power. You might use this new time to develop
either new interests or increase your knowledge about your work area making you a more
likely candidate for future promotion or a new job.
You would like to spend more time with family or friends but more often than not don’t find
the time to arrange events or feel too tired to attend even if someone else does. Start just by
making a phone call or connecting through social media or even just sending an email.
Arrange to meet at a particular time and place – make it a definite promise rather than a
vague agreement. Make it nearby and at a time when you know you will be feeling refreshed.
Repeat this on a more frequent basis.
You decide to get up thirty minutes earlier in order to start a new morning routine. Break this
down slowly, perhaps in five minute intervals, until the goal is reached. First try five minutes
earlier, then ten and so on until you reach thirty. Allow yourself those small victories with
each five minute interval that will gradually effect how you think and behave.
You want to learn how to cook to eat more healthily and save money. You could start by
buying one less pre-prepared meal each week and resolving to make your own. Start very
simply – boil an egg for example or some pasta. Perhaps you could combine that with
reading a recipe book in the new time you have found above. The money you save by cooking
for yourself will also help your other targets.

It is remarkable how you will find various synergies across your activities – these new routines will not
only have an individual benefit but combine to produce an even greater cumulative benefit which means
you will hit all of you targets much sooner than you think.

With all the above, you can see that splitting up what look like large and impossible tasks into much more
attainable and realistic goals makes anything possible. This concept of problem decomposition is one that
has been around for decades in areas like computer programming where huge, very difficult problems can
be solved by building solutions to the smaller problems inside the larger problems and then building up
these smaller solutions to one successful program.

This kind of top-down approach to real life situations avoids you feeling overwhelmed and then
paralysed into inaction – never getting started because you feel the scenario is too big, too complex, too
difficult to ever solve. Thinking about breaking down problems into much smaller problems however is
the first positive step you can take to solving these issues. This method will enable you gradually to
conquer what at first seemed might have seemed insurmountable.
Chapter 4 – Gain the right perspective

“If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right.” Henry Ford

A fundamentally key aspect to achieving what you desire in life is perspective. How are you going to
view the day ahead? The week ahead? The presentation to the board that is due? The workout to come
this evening? The diet that you are planning? How you perceive these events is going to shape your
eventual success with them. If you construct a negative prism through which you look at things in life you
will find it much harder to break through and reach your goals.

This doesn’t mean you look through life with rose-coloured spectacles and is more complex than a simple
negative/positive outlook. It does mean however that you can look to embrace a challenge in things that
you might normally have shied away from. Let’s look at an example.

Imagine for the next week you give your car keys to a friend and tell him or her not to return them to you
under any circumstances. You resolve either to walk or cycle to where you need to go. After a couple of
days you need supplies. Whereas normally you might hop in the car and drive for five minutes to the
nearest shop you now need to change your habits. This immediately poses some challenges. You have to
plan your trip more effectively. You won’t be able to bring as much food back in one go as when you were
in a car, you might have to cope with it being rainy or cold and it may well take a little more time overall.

At this point you might be thinking this is all too much – it’s an additional inconvenience that you could do
without. However, if you take another view you can begin to appreciate the benefits far outweigh the
negatives. You have to bring back fewer supplies – great! You will spend less on things you probably
don’t need right away and the extra food won’t go to waste. You now have more money in your pocket!
That’s in addition to not wasting money on fuel to go shopping in the first place.

Perhaps it’s cold, in which case you could put on another layer of clothing and enjoy that walk or cycle
through the crisp air. It won’t take long before the rise in your body temperature through exercise more
than compensates for the chill. Instead of just driving straight through the local area you now have a
chance enjoy your surroundings, possibly even to meet people and have a little social interaction.

Perhaps it might take a little more time – tremendous! This will make you plan your day more effectively
and force you to really work out how to spend your time so you get the most out of what you need to do.
Time is valuable so use it effectively to plan how to reach targets. Take a look at what you need to do and
see how you might be able to use the day to achieve the targets you made in Chapter 1. For example,
walking to the supermarket or jogging is a form of exercise which could save you the time of going to the
gym later instead. You are now achieving two goals in one.

Do not fear challenges but embrace them. Deliberately place yourself in situations where you know you
will feel, at least initially, a little uncomfortable. Acclimatise slowly to a new challenge and always think
what you are gaining from doing so. How will this situation help you to reach your goals? Congratulate
yourself on moving that little bit closer and having the mental fortitude both to recognise an area of
weakness and then get through it and conquer that weakness, piece by piece.

You will very quickly get to the point where every action you take and every decision you make ultimately
leads you closer and closer to achieving the goals you have set yourself. After that, difficult situations are
not only not avoided but actively sought out as a means to reach your targets faster than you ever thought
possible.
Chapter 5 – Delay your gratification

“Emotional self-control – delaying gratification and stifling impulsiveness – underlies
accomplishment of every sort.” Daniel Goleman

In order to develop your mental toughness you should be prepared to embrace the concept of delayed
gratification – refraining from taking an immediate benefit in order to gain a much larger one later. By
enduring a minor discomfort in the here and now, you will gain handsome dividends later in terms of
reaching your goals. You may have heard of the Marshmallow Experiment previously however it is worth
revisiting this in light of what we have discussed so far.

During the 1960s a Stanford professor, Walter Mischel, conducted a series of psychological studies on
children by conducting a very simple experiment. Having put the child in a room and sat the child down,
he would place a marshmallow in front of him or her. He would then tell the child that if the child
refrained from eating the marshmallow during his absence he could have two. But if the child ate the
marshmallow in front of him he would get no more upon the professor’s return. Mischel would then leave
for fifteen minutes.

There were varying degrees of success from the children. Some gave in immediately, some visibly
struggled with this difficult situation only to give in, and a few managed to wait and were duly rewarded
with their extra marshmallow prize.

You might conclude that the results were going to be obvious – that it is tricky not to give in to the
temptation to have things right away – but it is the subsequent studies that were of even greater interest.
Years later, when following those children who did manage to exercise self-restraint scientists
discovered that they were more successful in virtually every area to which you could apply measurement.
High exam scores, high earnings, good fitness levels, well developed social skills – there was a very
clear link between these achievements and the ability to delay gratification from the now in order to
receive an enhanced prize later.

Of course you may well say you know this already. We are all aware we will have more money if we
stow it away in a bank and let it earn interest. We know we will be healthier in the long run if we refrain
from over-eating the wrong type of foods. We know we stand a higher chance of getting promoted if we
do just a little more than the minimum required and work that extra hour. And yet, there are many
occasions where we simply choose to ignore it. We might blame being tired, stressed, too busy – anything
to take away the personal responsibility we have to ourselves to practise mental toughness. How can we
enhance our ability to delay gratification? How can we become mentally tougher to deny ourselves a
pleasure today in order for a much greater reward later? Let’s look at some techniques we can employ
every day.

Start small

We have already mentioned one technique above – start with a tiny delay of gratification. Make the task so
small that it is very easy to complete. You might do something like this:

Before you buy something online, wait 10 minutes before pressing submit. If you are still
convinced you want it, then go ahead and buy it.
Make a list of things to do at work for that day and tomorrow. Once you have done the day’s
work, take a single item off tomorrow’s list and do it today.
Have that pizza for dinner but leave a single slice behind. Don’t eat it just because it’s there.

By starting with small, but easily attainable goals you will build up your confidence and enhance your
toughness with each of these targets that you meet. As you progress, you will build on each success with
the targets becoming more challenging as you go on. Always remember the goals you set yourself earlier
in the book – those targets that are vital to your happiness. A little delay will bring them much closer,
much faster.

Set a defined time period

Another valuable technique is to give yourself a time period within which to work. Take the spending
delay on your gratification. There is a constant bombardment from the media and advertisers that buying
things is key to your happiness – as if somehow buying the latest car, clothes, handbag, dress, gadget,
computer or perfume is absolutely fundamental to your well-being. It requires constant mental strength to
resist and the idea of saying no to all of the above forever appears at first to be a daunting one. You might
perceive it to be so difficult that you don’t even bother to say no to anything at all.

However, there is no doubt you could say no for an hour or even a day to start with. And if you could do it
for a day you could do it for the weekend. And then a week. By giving yourself a set time period you
allow yourself the option of taking the prize or reward later whilst not appearing to deprive yourself of it
forever. With repeated practice, you will find these set time periods getting longer and longer with no
extra effort or pain on your behalf.

Watch your progress every day

Try this activity. Take a wallchart diary. Put it on the wall and figure out what would be a reasonable
timeframe for your delay. A week is a good place to start. Set yourself a reasonably difficult, but
attainable task. Not buying a coffee at the local shop for instance. Each day you achieve your goal place a
sticker or a cross on that day. Congratulate yourself. The next day do the same thing. Count the days down
if you like – literally write out the number 7, cross it out and replace with 6, then 5 and so on until you
reach 0. After a week you will see seven stickers or crosses and the numbers will have become smaller
and smaller until 0.

At this point you can re-appraise the situation. Repeat the process but this time go for ten days. You will
quickly find it easier and easier to go for longer periods. You will be eager to extend that chain of ongoing
events, the successful run will be a reward in itself. Without even realising it you have become mentally
tougher. What seemed difficult at first now appears laughably easy!

Your self-will and own perseverance have developed and longer goals are not just attainable, they are
desirable. You will become ever more confident about reaching them and re-calibrating what you think
you can achieve.
Chapter 6 – Deal with failure

“Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” Winston Churchill

You are human. You are therefore fallible. You will make mistakes. However, that is not the important
thing. The only thing that matters is how you react to mistakes, what you do when you don’t achieve what
you wanted or you feel you have let yourself down.
Dealing with failure, in any walk of life, and being able to move on and develop from that failure is a
critical component of mental toughness. If we accept that at some point we are not going to get everything
absolutely correct it would be foolish of us not to think of strategies to employ when the inevitable
happens.

It is important to note that you should feel pleased that you put yourself into a situation that was difficult.
The greatest obstacle people have to reaching their targets is that they do not even start. To take that step,
to take the risk in the first place is something that should always be respected.

Let’s imagine that your target had been to get to the gym three times a week for a month. Imagine you had
completed the first two weeks, had crossed them off on the wall chart, had noticed your fitness increasing
but for some inexplicable reason week three had not gone well. Lots of things had taken place, at work
and at home, and you had managed just the two sessions that week. What can you take away from that?
How does mental toughness come in here?

Failing doesn’t make you a failure

Firstly, recognise you have failed on this particular occasion and embrace the inevitability. Understand
that trying new things will always result in a failure at some point. You, as a person, are not a failure just
because this particular effort has not worked out. Failure is not going to define you – it is simply
something that has happened without an optimal result.

Always learn from failure

Look at the situations and circumstances that resulted in failure. Did you leave things unattended the
previous week? Was the initial goal too fast too soon at this point? Given the chance again, what would
you do differently? What will you learn from this experience? Failure can be an invaluable teacher as
long as you make the effort to understand its causes.

Consider the bigger picture

Thirdly, recognise that this is one small step backwards on a much greater journey. This is not the end of
the path, but merely a small detour. Revisit your goals and imagine yourself attaining them. Rekindle that
desire to achieve by reading them out loud to yourself. Next time you will sail past this road block armed
with the knowledge of previous efforts.

Failure is only a temporary setback

You have not failed in the overall journey – you can fail as many times as you like safe in the knowledge
that you will always get to that goal. Think of all the famous authors or musicians or inventors or
politicians who failed in their first, second, third or twentieth attempts to achieve their goals yet went to
conquer the world. J. K. Rowling, author of the Harry Potter books, struggled repeatedly to finish her
books and even when she had done so, she was rejected by twelve publishers. She never gave up and was
ultimately rewarded for her perseverance. Here is quotation from her, in a speech she gave at Harvard,
about failure,

“ It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might
as well not have lived at all - in which case, you fail by default”

Never fear failure

If you are worried about not getting it right first time you will hesitate and not start. Each failure makes the
next failure that little less intimidating or frightening. Recognise that you are pushing yourself and that
with failure comes understanding and an opportunity to grow and learn. As long as you continue to push
yourself, to start again if you have to then you are not a failure. If you’re not failing, you’re not trying.
Eventually reaching a difficult target is all the more sweet if you have tried and failed before. As the
author Paulo Coelho wrote,

“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible: the fear of failure”

Summary

Once you have encountered failure, analysed it and learned its lessons, do not dwell and wallow in it.
Take the lessons from it that you can and move on – give it no more time and attention as it will bring no
further benefit. Formulate your next plan, your next set of targets that have been refined in light of this
failure. Get onto the next task that will bring you closer to fulfilling your goals. Remember failure is
merely a stepping stone to success.
Chapter 7 - Deal with pressure

“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” – William
James

There will be many occasions where you encounter high-pressure situations. Hopefully, you will
deliberately place yourself in several in order to get the best from yourself. These situations might be in a
sporting competition, in business, perhaps in situations where you have placed pressure on yourself to
succeed.

I am going to talk about one particular target but the lessons that apply here apply equally to every
challenge you will face. Imagine you have a target to complete a marathon. You recognise you are not
going to be able to race it the next day so you break the goal down into much smaller targets as we
discussed above and start your training on a weekly basis. Time passes, the training has gone well and
with all the intermediate targets met you decide to enter a 5km race, not so much to win, but simply to
finish having given all you can. Here the pressure has come from within – it’s perfectly possible that no-
one else even knows you have entered but you do and you want to do well. What tactics should you be
practising to get you through this race, even when you feel tired, when your muscles and lungs are
screaming, when you want to carry on but feel it’s too much?

Mental Visualisation
Shut your eyes and visualise yourself completing the race. See yourself, from another’s perspective
crossing that line and the joy that will bring. See yourself running past everyone, taking the lead and
receiving the plaudits of victory. This ongoing mental practice is critical for success. The finish line
presents itself not just as a means of stopping the pain in your body but also as another step towards goals
being completed, another target met. See yourself hurdling that line ahead of all the other competitions.

Focus yourself entirely upon all the positive emotions that will be present once this particular race is out
of the way. There are countless studies showing that those people who can imagine themselves achieving
success in a particular field have a far, far higher percentage chance of gaining that very success in the
near future. Mental practice is key here and especially important in the period directly preceding the race
or interview or other important situation.

Breathing

Being aware of and controlling your breathing is an important part of handling pressure and being
mentally tough. You can enhance brain activity by deeper breaths allowing more oxygen to the brain. In
turn, this allows you to make better decisions under stress. Controlling breathing will lessen your anxiety
levels and make you feel much more able to tackle difficult situations.

Breath control is very simple. Try this exercise.

1.) Exhale
2.) Inhale slowly counting to 4
3.) Hold your breath and count to 4
4.) Exhale fully while counting to 4

If this is really difficult at first you can do it to 3 rather than 4 to begin with. With practice you might find
counting to 5 to be even more productive. In an imminently stressful situation repeat this process four or
five times.

By forcing yourself to breathe more slowly you can focus on what your body is doing which will enable
you to fight any feelings of panic and ultimately make the best possible decisions you can do at that time.

Speak to yourself

Speak to yourself. Don’t just speak it in your head but do it out loud. Some people find this a slightly
embarrassing or difficult process but its effects are real and highly beneficial. You need to find a phrase
that means something to you and repeat it, not just in your head, but out loud.

Do not be conscious of other people here – it’s important not to keep the words internalised but to give
them actual voice. Shout if you wish. They need to be positive – words that create a positive
reinforcement towards your goals. It could be anything from a simple “Come on!” or “You can do this!” to
more specific phrases that may have a deeply personal meaning. Here are a few examples that I have used
myself:

“I am going to win!”
“I will gain a distinction in this exam”
“I always work my hardest and my work will mean I will get this client to sign for me”
“I am capable. I am able. I will do this.”
“I love to be challenged and I react in a positive way”
“Each step I take brings my goal closer”
“I know I will achieve this goal”

The exact words are down to you of course but avoid any hint of negative words as this will just
counteract all the good work you have done. You are building up a positive self-image which is going to
give you confidence, improve self-esteem and ensure that target comes ever closer.

Remember your goals

Remind yourself why you are racing. Remember the targets you have set yourself and all the previous
training and work that has gone into where you are. Take yourself out of the moment and focus on what it
is that will bring you happiness. You will find yourself distracted, no longer thinking exclusively about
your lungs hurting, but more about those longer term targets.

Do not panic

At some point you may start to worry if everything is going to work out or if you are even going to finish
the race at all. This is perfectly normal but put those thoughts out of your mind. Remember the training you
have undergone and that you have planned all this out weeks in advance. You are ready and are going to
put in your best performance. Always think positively about every stage and banish negative thoughts
from your mind.

Celebrate your achievements

Look at what you have done and congratulate yourself. Be generous in your praise, not critical with
yourself. If you have already completed half the race remind yourself of that – what’s left is now less than
that which has already gone. You have already done half so have broken the back of what is left. If it’s
still early, you can use a similar principle. You have already run 1km so there is no reason you can’t run
another. Break it down into even smaller chunks, little victories at a time which will spur you on. You
could set yourself several micro-targets – focus on running 10 steps at a time. Each time you complete a
micro-target you are closer and closer to the end target. Try and get to the point where you are enjoying
the challenge, where each target you meet gives you a little adrenaline burst which will carry you through
the whole race.

Have faith in yourself

Trust yourself. Believe in yourself that you can do it. Remind yourself you have completed several similar
distances before. Have faith that all the planning and training that you have been through and endured
previously will now pay dividends. Remember how strong and hardworking and dedicated you are to
reaching your goal. Be self-affirming. Be confident. You are always stronger, both mentally and
physically, than you think and you will complete this race because you can. You deserve all the prizes that
await you at the finish line.

Of course, you can use as few or as many of the above strategies as you find necessary. You will find that
your previous preparation will place you in a strong position to handle those stressful and pressurised
situations.

Summary

We have talked in this chapter only of a sporting scenario but the above techniques can be employed for
any challenging situation in life. If we were talking to college students about passing important
examinations or an employee about to give a presentation to an important group of people or someone
going for a job interview – in fact, for any potentially stressful situation the advice would be exactly the
same.

The key to mental toughness is to be aware that shortly you may find yourself under pressure and to be
able to deal with that situation without running away or finding a means to avoid it. Embrace it, be
confident in yourself and know that all your previous training has allowed you to give the absolute best
account of yourself. Of course, you may not win the race or get the job every time, but it is the fact that
have delivered your best performance at the optimal time under pressure that is important. Manage that
and allow yourself to give the best of yourself each and every time and the results and victories will take
care of themselves.
Chapter 8 – Maintain your mental toughness

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit.” Aristotle

Once you have the techniques and strategies to acquire mental toughness it is important you do all you can
to maintain yourself at that level. Remember, mental toughness is a skill that can be acquired but it needs
to be maintained through practice just as a muscle needs constant exercise to maintain its strength. Here
are some of the most valuable things you can do to achieve this.

Remember your actions define you
Remember that failure is inevitable as you push yourself however it does not define you – how you react
to failure is what defines you. Failure is merely the next step on the road to success. Focus on moving
forward to the next challenge rather than looking backwards at events that have already passed that you
cannot change anyway.

Understand some events are beyond your control
Stay mentally tough by accepting both that there are things beyond your control and that you are strong
enough to move through events that wish were not occurring. Remember, there is no point in dwelling on
these events – move on and focus on things you can control.

Establish a routine that works
Establish a good routine and stick to it. You will quickly work out what routines work best for you. These
could be routines at work, for example working out when you are most productive and positive and
getting things done to avoid stress later. It could be in sport where you work out what the most effective
time would be for you to train regularly. Stick to these routines day after day and they will become
ingrained in you forcing you on to your targets.

Stay focussed
Always focus positively on your goals. Think every day about how your actions today will take you
closer and closer to those targets. What can you do or not do that will bring them closer? Visualise them
in your head – see yourself hitting your targets and try and imagine how good that will feel.

Re-appraise and re-assess
Re-appraise your big goals regularly – you will quickly find yourself meeting goals you had not thought
you would for a long time. Congratulate yourself but quickly move on. Reset and recalibrate what you
expect of yourself. You can re-assess every day, every week, or every month – whichever you fin d the
most effective. If you feel you have made little progress for the day then write down in a pad of paper the
three best things you have achieved that day, no matter how small.

Leave it on a pad so when you come to write tomorrow’s three tasks you see the growing list in front of
you each time. This little act of positive reinforcement will have a tremendously beneficial effect over
time and remind you of your progress each and every day.

Remember, when resetting your targets to account for all the progress you have made that a goal needs to
be attainable but also difficult if it is to be truly worthwhile. You will get no satisfaction from goals too
easily reached so that balance is crucial.
Conclusion

I hope that throughout this book what has been most apparent is that the power to motivate you, to change
you, to meet your goals rests entirely on you. Furthermore, that by following the advice here and believing
in the power of your own determination and will, you are capable of meeting the very targets that you
have set yourself. I hope I have shown that each step you take, whether it results in success or failure, is
one step closer to meeting those goals – that you can learn as much, if not more, from failure than you can
success. That what is most critical is that you continue to try, to strive for those things that are important
and will truly make a difference in your life. Those things, that you have judged yourself to be so
critically important, will ultimately be the things you look back on as defining moments in your life.

The single most important thing of all however, is always to believe in yourself. It may not happen
overnight but by following the advice in this book you will become mentally tougher and you will be
better equipped to deal with all the challenges of life. By firstly understanding exactly what your goals are
and secondly taking the necessary steps to get there you will find yourself becoming more successful no
matter what the circumstances. You will be able to handle both success and failure equally well and
achieve all you set out to achieve with determination, grit and mental toughness.

I wish you the very best for all that lies ahead on your own journey.

Thank you

I would like to take this final chance to give you my most sincere thanks again for reading my book. I
know your time is valuable and it means a great deal to me that you have chosen this book. If what you
have read here has helped in any way at all I would be truly grateful if you could rate my book. This will
help me in reaching my personal goals to help as many people as I can through my writing. I greatly enjoy
hearing from all my readers and all feedback. Thank you once again very much for reading.

William Anderson