Andrea Gonzalez

Professor Aguliar

LEAD

18 Nov 2019

My Novela-Esque Life

To understand why I do what I do, you first need to understand who I am.

I’ve started this story in several instances of my life. Funny enough none of the

recollections of my life ever start with me. To tell you of my life story and omit the stories of

previous generations would be a disservice to my actual story. It’s impossible to fully understand

my story without first learning of my mother’s and grandmother’s. And that, is a doozy. So when

people are trying to get to know me I just say that, “My life is basically a novela.”

My mom grew up in Zacatecas, Mexico and was the eldest daughter in her family of six

children. The most pivotal event of her childhood is that he lost her father at eight years old. Her

family lived in a single room where it rained more inside than out. Their food consisted of

leftovers and stuff they would sneak out of their place of work. At the age of eighteen she

married my dad and shortly after moved to San Jose, CA with his brother and sister to apt #5,

225 Goodyear St. The name was actually accurate, those were the most idyllic years of my life.

My mom was 21 when she had me and still new to the modern world, one with consistent

lighting and legitimate food. The first time she took public transportation she had no idea how to

get back home… that was ​a day​.

Similarly, I was also learning about the world around me and my aunt Cookies became a

pivotal person in my life because she was the one who gave me a moral compass through
religious readings that she would reenact using a Target dog plush. She also inspired my love of

learning because it was a surefire way to obtain her praise. She and my mom were both relentless

in the belief that if I obtained a good education I could break our family’s cycle of poverty.

However, the consistency of my life ended when I was six and my parents separated. Still

figuring out the world around her and her place in it, my mom took me with her. We’ve lived all

around the city in single rooms that barely fit our bed, on a McDonald’s employee budget. I

remember one time she sat me down to calculate our earnings and expenses in a month and we

ended in significant negatives. I don’t know how we managed every month but we somehow did.

There were several outcomes due to this lifestyle. I crave stability, have learned to be

resourceful, and became an independent and dependent individual. My current hypothesis is that

I crave stability because it was something that I had at one point in my life. When my parents

were together I would always have eggs and beans for lunch, so consistently that my babysitter

(Judith) would make fun of me by asking me what I had eaten that day when I went to her house.

My theory is that it’s easier to live a life when you know nothing better than what you have. That

and not knowing where I would be next day, let alone next year, was stressful for my younger

self. I’ve learned to be resourceful with my time, money, and energy because all were limited.

The upside to having a day only last 24 hours is that if you’re having a bad day today, there’s

always tomorrow, the downside is that you don’t know where and what state you’ll be in those

next 24 hours. During those years sleep it was difficult for me to sleep and the frequent

nightmares didn’t make it any easier. There was a period in my life where I actually feared

sleeping. However it was that period in my life that led me to practice and eventually learn to

sleep, learn to manage my time, and save my money.

 And the most baffling, due to my childhood, I learned to both dependent and

independent. Since I moved around with my mom, after elementary when I left my childhood

apartment friends I struggled to make new friends. I didn’t have the time, money, or place to

hang out after school with anyone, so all my friends were limited to school hours. My mom

became my best friend, and she needed me as much as I needed her. Oddly, we were both

learning about the world and, even now, I often times find myself being her therapist since we

have no family in the state. We’ve both had a complicated history with friends, which started

with my mom and the legacy was passed on to me. I’ve witnessed and been apart of several back

stabbings from people who’ve even lived in the same room as us. Thus I’m dependent on the few

relationships I’ve built, and have learned to trust my gut instincts. However, I’ve also become a

very independent person when it comes to my survival and my financial life.

The complete, but general answer for what I do what I do is because of the childhood I’ve

had. There’s a lot that I can’t fit in this essay but some of the general points are that I want to

help humanity reach a point where they don’t have to worry about basic survival because I know

what that feels like. I don’t wish that pressure that comes with that, on​ anyone​. Currently, I find

that I can have the most impact working with technology as we’re still discovering it’s

capabilities. I continue my journey to learn more about the world with a stable support system

from all the people I’ve met at Santa Clara. To conclude, a saying I made to sum up my life:

Although mine is not the kind of childhood I’d wish upon anyone, I know that without it I

wouldn’t be the person I am today.