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Does Religion Even Matter Anymore? Why Religion has Fallen Out of Modern Day

Dating Practices

By Katherine Quinn

The average single person keeps a mental checklist of traits their dream significant other

will ideally have- financially independent, family-oriented, career-driven, compassionate and

funny, but when did religion fall off the list of essentials? In a world with billions of potential

partners to choose from, why have we stopped wanting someone of the same faith? For a multi-

tude of causes, religion has lost its relevance in dating practices of modern times.

America’s shifting religious landscape is one such factor. Gone are the days when white

Christians were the vast majority. Now, a section of Americans who identify as secular, or nonre-

ligious, is rising into existence. In fact, a whopping 24% of Americans claim secular affiliation,

by far the largest religious group recorded, according to the Public Religion Research Institute

(PRRI). Overall, a nationwide increase in religious diversity proves challenging in finding a

partner who practices an identical religion. Take a look at New York, the most religiously diverse

state. Residents may be Roman Catholic, Muslim, Jewish, agnostic, atheist, Buddhist, Protestant,

or they may not keep a faith at all, just to name a few options. As the probability of finding a

partner who upholds the same belief system decreases, so does its perceived importance.

Religion may be turning into a thing of the past. The younger generation of today is more

likely to not attend religious services, reject the religion they grew up with or convert to alternate

faiths. As recorded by the Pew Research Center, 34% of millenials seldom/never attend religious

services, and 38% only make it a couple times a year. In part, this is thanks to the sheer amount

of resources available to them. After being constantly introduced to news ways of thinking and

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ideals through the Internet and their surroundings, they innately feel the urge to question their

views and explore variants. Millenials are, loosely, more open-minded and exceedingly less tra-

ditional than previous age groups. That’s just a natural progression as times change. For many

older folks, religion was a way of connecting with culture, family history and pairing back-

grounds and values. This mentality can be traced back to immigration into America; when start-

ing over in a new country, these people often had nothing but their faith. However, that has be-

come less relevant as other factors, such as political stance and occupation have risen in impor-

tance. These can be as equally telling about a person’s morals as religion can.

Often times, religions are matched up between partners so that appropriate wedding cer-

emonies and rituals can occur. Modern day weddings have significantly strayed from the tradi-

tional, so ensuring the partners’ religious rituals will align is no longer a concern. For example,

two Roman Catholic individuals might have had a wedding in a church, whereas now they

choose to have the wedding on a beach. Still, interfaith weddings frequently happen. In terms of

exchanging vows, ceremonial aspects and even clothing choice, religions and cultures have vari-

ous customs. A popular method of satisfying both partners and families is incorporating both rit-

uals, or finding some common ground after researching the symbolism behind the rites of mar-

riage. There are often common themes found underlying the marriage rites in different religions.

So, if interfaith marriages are no big deal, then what need is there to choose a partner based off of

religion?

Some might oppose this viewpoint, stating religion has yet to become a completely obso-

lete factor in modern day dating practices. The existence of religion-oriented dating websites 


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and apps such as christianmingle.com, aimed towards Christian singles, or Jswipe, geared for

Jewish practitioners, seems to directly contradict the point that religion is an unimportant factor

in dating practices. While they are present, services like these only cater toward a smaller margin

of dedicated religious individuals. Christian Mingle has 154,000 paying customers, and a couple

million users. It made waves in the religious community, but in relation to the billions of single

people on the planet, it’s very niche. Of course, within any society, there will be a small percent-

age of people who go against the grain; in this case, restricting themselves to consider those with

the same religious background. But reflected by the general population, religion is of less impor-

tance in dating practices to the majority of individuals.

At the end of the day, we are all going to love whomever we choose regardless of race,

gender, age or religious background. It seems shallow and superficial to vet potential partners

purely because their religion differs; the religion a person practices does not define them. It’s

about time we ceased to channel our trust and hopes solely into our faith and began to have faith

in ourselves, the world around us and the power of love.

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Works Cited

https://www.prri.org/research/american-religious-landscape-christian-religiously-unaffiliated/

https://www.marthastewartweddings.com/641809/interfaith-wedding-planning-tips

https://www.pewforum.org/religious-landscape-study/generational-cohort/younger-millennial/

https://www.christianmingle.com/en/believe/discover/high-marriage-success-rate