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A Letter To My Past Self

Hey Claire

This is Claire in 2019. Sitting under the starry sky, I’m writing this letter to you. I remember you

have your first phone this year, 2013,a Samsung Galaxy 3. Internet is a whole new world for you

to explore. You downloaded numerous apps like all your other classmates did. You made lots of

posts online, including your daily shares, food, and personal ideas. Through the internet, you

noticed how big influences one post can make. Curiosity and Righteousness have rooted into

your blood. You talk and share your ideas to others because you always believe in the power of

your voice. I know you are frustrated to hear about these because the thing happened this

summer. On that day, mom and you saw a homeless man sitting on a wheelchair with his sick

child begging in front of the train station square. He wrote his miserable story on a board of

being unfairly treated by the gangsters in addition to the deliberate indifference of the local

police. No one dare go to ask. However, you could not move from his reddish eyes. Your

righteous heart drove you to approach him slowly with a smile. After a clarification, you wrote

down his information and posted online regardless of others’ objection. The following morning,

the posts were not founded on the page. With the feelings of confusion, you attempted to contact

the surveys to explain the situation again and again. I can feel how urgent you tried to convince

the person on the other side of the phone. Your righteous heart was shackled while the person

told you that “your post will violate the social stable”. Hanging up the phone, you asked mom:

“do we really have freedom of speech here”? I remember mom answer you by saying that: “not
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all the time.” Until today, four years later, I still remember how your heart was bursting with

shockeness and self-doubts that night. You kept questioning on whether people have freedom of

speech in China, a place where you thought you can talk freely for 15 years. That was your first

time touched the boundary of freedom of speech in China. After that night, you became more

sensitive on the perspectives of China because you felt distance with your country. Furthermore,

you began to condemn on government, communist party, and everything they did. Chinese

government was the “Big Boss” from​ “1984” ​to oversight the citizens in order to eliminate all

the voices against the party. You believed Chinese people are caged inside the Wall where was

covered by dictatorship, brainwashed and loss of freedom of speech. Since then, you have

always dreamed to escape from the wall. Outside of that Wall, you visioned a perfect and free

world. Let me tell you a good news: you’ll get the chance to study abroad in the U.S next year.

Claire, similings cannot moved from your face when you notice this. Suddenly, all your

complaints, concerns and frustrations now will be replaced by hopes, excitement and freedom.

In August, 2015, you will be in a plane to America. Embracing the whole different experiences

and cultures in America, you will feel people are more openly in talking about social issues, and

politics. Unlike in China, people in the U.S are more openly in talking about politics and social

issues. In here, you don’t have to worry that your voices online will be deleted while you

condemn on the government. In 2016, it will be a big year for the U.S: the 58th American

presidential election. Donald Trump, a candidate from republican, will face Hillary Clinton, a

candidate from Democrats party. Their speeches battles will be intense. At the same time, you

will see how people’s extreme different views on both of them. Like bees tide, all Americans
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post their personal opinions online, supporting or condemning the candidates or parties. You will

see numerous net platforms making the political cartoons or emojis of Trump. However, It will

bring down your emotions to the thing happen in China a few years ago.Chinese social media

users compared President Xi Jinping to the Winnie the Pooh over meme. Unfortunately, all these

posts and comments were deleted a few days later because of a cataphrase of “promoting a

harmonious society”. Beyond this explanation, you only feel that Chinese people lose their

freedom of expression. Therefore, you will be glad that you have the chance to get out from that

cage. Simultaneously, you will believe that freedom of speech never limits in the U.S, the

kingdom of freedom. Nevertheless, a transformation will take place in 2017.

It will be a Sunday, you get ready to meet with your friends. You called the Uber while you’re

trying to finish your breakfast. Rushing up, you hold water, laptop, and your phone at the same

time. Suddenly, a message popped out of the phone screen. That is the message from the Uber

drive: “ I have arrived”. You try to tape “KK”(means OK) through your right thumb. Opps,

accidently you tape one more K down. Without realizing, you send out the text out. You go to

the car while holding all the stuff on your hand. The driver turns his head towards the back and

looks at you and say, “KKK”? Strange feelings suddenly come over to you. “KKK”? Looking

back to your phone, you finally realize the meanings of KKKL: ​Ku Klux Klan. ​Claire, it will be

your first time to touch the boundary of freedom and speech in the U.S. As the longer you learn

about the U.S culture, you will know the fact that there is also a severe banning area of freedom

of speech in the U.S. In the U.S, you shouldn’t say “N” word if you’re not black citizens. It is not

a listed law but a common fact in American society. A question rises from two years ago again:

“How to define the freedom of speech”? The question you might believe is solved. Since then,
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you become more attention to this kind of topic. A news report from the Washington Post will

catch your attention again, “Two white Catholic school students expelled for racism texts”. The

school expel these students because they share their messages on social media. Even more, a

news from CBS News reports that “Students suspended for “liking” the racist video in the social

media. In your heart, even these words should not be said by the students, isn’t the true that they

still have the rights to express themselves? If they are punished for expressing these ideas, their

freedom of speech is limited as well. Claire, at that time, you will be shocked again as you just

did because you realize there is not real meanings of freedom of speech. Fortunately, you will

blame on country’s policy, party no more. Instead, you start to self-reflection on questioning

yourself: What is the freedom of speech? Don’t worry, you will find out this solution on your

own.

As an invisible force within your inner heart, you will start to research on historical background

on racism in the U.S of discovering how it has hurt the integration of the U.S. The slavery

problem was the blasting fue for the civil war in the United States, which almost sepreated the

country. As the historical article of “Black History Millstones” states, “after the civil war, the

racist legacy of slavery presisted”. The white supremacy still played an important role in the

society, which derives a native-born American terrorist organization ----Ku Klux Klan (KKK).

The organization was founded in 1866, led by elite white man in purpose of “drive black men out

of politics,'' said by David Chalmers, a philosophical professor at New York University. It

particularly against the African Americans. However, increasing the influences in nationwide in

the 20th century, its targets turned to all the minorities in the U.S. As David Chalmers
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describes,”the Klan blended xenophobia, religious prejudice, and white supremacy together with

a broadly conservative moralism.” It revived in the 20th century which caused the severe social

turmoil of society. “For the member of this organization, they bullied, threatened and even killed

blacks, immigrants, civic engagement for the chance to be publicly proud of being white,

protestant, and a native-born American”, recorded by the editors in history.com. Discriminating,

burning and even killing, the whole American society was shrouded in the sense of fear and

horror. All these discriminated actions can be an excuse of “freedom of speech”, which granted

as the first amendment rights. However, as an immigrant country, Discrimination, and terrioism

dangered the national integration. For the integrity of the nation, American government has to set

up a boundary of freedom of speech. Since then, the supreme court regulated standard for

freedom of speech through different aspect. David Kretzmer, a professor Emeritus of

International law in Hebrew University of Jerusalem, stated that in the United States, the Ku

Klux Klan, American Nazi Party and other racist groups have exploited their first amendment

freedom to espouse racist doctrine”. Furthermore, the supreme court passed different laws to

limit the freedom of speech in the U.S, in order to protect the social stability. Claire, it will be

your first time to view the things behind the surface. After this research, you will move your

interest to the question of what is the fact behind the freedom of speech in China.

You know how strict the media censorship in China, especially in the blocks of Facebook,

Instagram and other social medias. Western media criticizes on freedom of speech in China

mainly through this aspect: Chinese government blocks everything against the party. The aspect

you only see is that Chinese people are living under the government's control; freedom of
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expression is lost in China. Nevertheless, you will start to view this situation through different

aspects after the research on the boundaries of freedom of speech in the U.S. Facebook, the

biggest social media company in the world, was blocked in 2009. Westerners condemn China for

not allowing the facebook. As what you believe now, Westerners also consider blocking

Facebook in China is the conspiracy for Chinese government to monitor citizens’ speech and

constrain their mind. Indeed, Facebook was blocked in really specific reason. Recognized as an

extreme terrorist group internationally, Turkist111an Islamic Party is known assuicide bombs,

bus bombs shootings and murders in China, Norway, Germany and the UAE. This party is

comprised of a bunch of dangerous killers, as known the independent muslisms in China. As

Colin P. Clark, a political scientist at the University of Pittsburgh, confessed that “Turkistan

Islamic Party employes child soldiers”. In 2009, they coordinated a violent riot in China, July

2009 Ürümqi riots, in which thousands of terrorists attacked citizens, including the moderate

muslims.​At least 140 people have been killed and 828 injured after the worst violence in decades

swept through the capital of China's restive region of ​Xinjiang​ last night, authorities said today

according to Xinhua, the official news agency. Nathan Rich, an American author, critiques that

the terrorists surrounded innocent civilians, and stabbing them to death. The July 2009 Urumqi

riots caused the huge turmoils in China, even increasing the power of seperalism. “The terrorists

coordinate these attacks through the Facebook”, reported by Xinhua, the official news agency.

China tried to get Facebook to ban the group the terrorists were using. However, Facebook didn’t

have the obligation to listen to the Chinese government due to the promise of “freedom of

speech”. Therefore, under these situations, Chinese government decided to ban Facebook. Since

then, Chinese government tightened the controls of media, particularly in the hate comments on
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anti-China. Claire, the riot in Xinjiang is only one aspect of conducting the reasons of the media

censorship in China. Through the complexity of China through history, cultures, and even

education, you will notice one of the major goals of limiting the freedom of speech online is to

structure a stable, societal harmony, society.

Comparing the different situation between China and the United States, you will see how the

standard of freedom of speech has changed. Freedom of speech has different boundaries among

the countries due to the dispenarcy of cultures and historical backgrounds. The different

boundaries in these countries have the same purpose ---- integrity of the country. Hey Claire, I

know you’re still in the struggles of criticizing on the freedom of speech now but I’m writing this

letter to you is to show that there is not clear line for the freedom of speech in any place in this

world. You should look back from the surface to see the nature of the issue. This is not a black or

white world, but also including the grey area you have to research on. Just keep tracking on

yourself; I’m waiting from you in 2019.

Best wishes

Notes from 2019

Adding the feelings of confess yourself

Claire , do you know i’m feeling i’m stupid all the time. I have trained in view the world in my

own way. I thought I was the central of the world but these four years have taught me I was too
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naive. If I never researched or heard from others, I might never get a chance to look at the world

through different perspectives. This letter never works to judge any politics but more like an

advice for you that before criticizing anything, you should look beyond the surface. It is not a

black and white world, looking beyond the surface, being noticed that you will see a colorful

world.

Steps for fixing :

1: switch my thesis a little bit

From there is not a standard of freedom of speech to you should view the world through different

ways before judging or critizing

2: how it shapes me today

I become more mature through these two research. It is not only about politics side but more

daily life. Think deep and clear

3: the context of stories cut down ---- adding a paragraph of self reflection

Work citations:

Phillips, Kristine. “Two White Catholic School Students Expelled for Racist Texts Are Suing for
$1 Million.” The Washington Post, WP Company, 31 Mar. 2019,
www.washingtonpost.com/news/education/wp/2016/12/07/two-white-catholic-school-students-e
xpelled-for-racist-texts-are-suing-for-1-million/.

This is a news article reported about how two catholic school students were expelled for the
racist text online. This news reported was published in Washington post which is reliable.
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Phillips Kristine is an experience reporter in the Washington post. I use this article in my essay in
order to prove my skeptics on the freedom of speech in the United States.

“Turkistan Islamic Party (TIP).” TRAC,

www.trackingterrorism.org/group/turkistan-islamic-party-tip.
This is the website I used to do research on the Turkistan Islamic party. I did not use the
resources from this article because it is not credible.

Rothman, Joshua. “When Bigotry Paraded Through the Streets.” The Atlantic, Atlantic Media
Company, 4 Dec. 2016, www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2016/12/second-klan/509468/.
This is the news report from The Atlantic in talking about the “rise and falls of the second Ku
Klux Klan”. This news explains on the history of the actives of KKK. Rothman Joshua is a
historian who has studied in American history in decades. I used the information from this article
to explain the historical facts on KKK groups.

RA Self Assessment

Writing a letter to my past self is my final choice for the RIP project after evaluating different

selections in terms of topics, messages, and venues. As an international student, Politics always

closes to my life. Perceiving the different values from both China and the U.S has transformed
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myself today. When I noticed I have to write my own autoethnography, I want to share my

experiences in studying here. I didn’t know which direction I really want to share through my

project. Then, I thought about a conversation with my friend, talking about the views on the

freedom of speech in the U.S, and knew immediately that will be the thing I want to write about.

Recalling the ideas five years ago, I criticized on Chinese government’s media censorship by

blocking Facebook, instagram, and removing the posts from the social media. Compared to

China, the U.S is tagged as “the kingdom of freedom” because American citizens are granted

freedom of speech in the first amendment. In this way, I believe America is the country which

promises freedom of speech properly to his citizens. However, through the personal experiences

of living in the U.S, I gradually realize the fact that there are also the limits of freedom of speech

in the U.S, as an invisible boundary to keep the stability of the society. After going through

multiple resources and model texts, I notice that there is no standard for the freedom of speech in

any country. Instead, countries set up the boundaries of freedom of speech through the historical,

cultural backgrounds and the nationale conditions, in order to keep the social harmony for the

society. Writing a letter to “my” past self, “my” also reflects to the international students or

people who have the same experiences with me. Under this circumstance, I made a particular

rhetorical pattern to effectively convey my message to my audiences: international students.

As exploring my messages to my audience, I choose my genre as the form of the letter to make

stronger connections with my audience.More specifically, I’m writing this letter to my past self.

In this essay, I want to talk more about how I transformed through these four years. As I stated in

the first paragraph, “my” is not only referring to “Claire” but also all my audiences who have the
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same perspectives with me”. Throughout the letter, I used “you” to describe my personal

encounters and personal reflections. In this way, it sounds more like a letter directly to my

audience. For example, I mentioned how I was frustrated when my post online was removed. It

is a common experience Chinese people have. Therefore, my audiences might think back to their

same experience and increase the reliability of my paper.

Furthermore, I mention the question throughout the essay: “what is the freedom of speech”. I

redefine the freedom of speech several times in the essay. At first, I believe the answer of

freedom of speech in the United States after feeling my freedom of speech has violated in China.

Throughout my personal research, I raise this question again when I criticized on the freedom of

speech in the U.S again. The question has the conclusion after all researches on conducting the

historical backgrounds in China and the U.S. In this way, my audiences will notice how my

personal perspectives have changed through asking these questions in different time period. At

the same time, this question asks to my audiences themselves who might struggle with the same

situation I have. Wording/ if the anti racism ---- reject the hate speech, the states have to prove

this part.

Why politics,

Weak