Plaguc-(n) I.

A widespread affliction or calamity, especially one seen as

divine retribution. 2. A sudden destructive influx or injurious outbreak. 3.
A cause o f annoyance; a nuisance. 4. A highly infectious, usually fatal, epi-

PLAGUE
demic disease; a pestilence. 5. Us. 6. The happy feeling you get inside when
that cute boy in your English class finally looks at you and then shits on your
face. 7, That new dance that replaced the Macarena. 8, A lovable family
family o f Mexicans who write comedy on the back o f a truck while being
snuck across the border. 9. The Jewish festival o f flowers. 10. Something
as old as Josh Hartnett.

“So, y o u really th o u g h t that was o u r final is s u e r

Your 2 5 th A n n iv e r s a r y S ta ff
Executive Editors This Page, Jackass... 3
Pat Stango Things We Damn Well
Enjoys Meg W hite’s drum m ing 4
Feel Like Saying
Lukas Kaiser
Indulges in Red D w arf Famous People Memos 6
Vera Shneyerson
T he P lague’s Little K itten Book Excerpts 7
Victoria Isabel Pingarran Washington Square News 8
B estial W arlust
Plague Six 11
Editorial Staff Love That Macgyver 12
Steve Bossous Jesse Shaver
H earts M acGyver Back with a vengeance More Damn Wells 14
M ichael D uerr John Savarese 25th Anniversary Section 16
Clav for Metal D e a n ’s List
Funnies!!! 22
Overseas Correspondents
Wacky World Of Websites 24
H elen Tompkins M ike Klein
Saw a B ond girT naked O u t rid in ’ K angaroo Jack The Sex Expert 25
All of the Work. None of the Credit... Barbershop Sequel 26
Jesse Meyersoil Harry Terjanian The Real Spring Break 27
David Mellisy Evan Dukofsky Senatorial Message 30
Colette Stango Scott Rosenbaum
AaronJames
Legends Of Fishing 31
ChristineJensen
Casey D. Fisher Amgad Larry Fawzy The Lists 32
Michael Phillips Sam Wu From Our Archives 34
Jenny Lovin Sophie Castro-Davis Gary Payton Raps It To Ya 35
And Back For One Last Score... New Magazines 36
Dan Fiorella Pete Reiser
Chandler Kauffman Matt Callan The Plague © 2002 Volume XXV Issue 2
Mikejastroch Joe Rice The Plague, 60 W ashington Square South
New York, New York 10003
Leila Amineddoleh Erin Rose Foley A ll rights reserved
Blaine Perry Seth Greenspan V IS IT O V R W E B S IT E : http://pages.nyu.edu/clubs/plague
OR E -M A IL US: plague.club@ nyu.edu

Founding Editor
Howard Ostrowsky
Special T hanks to:
Audrey Underwood (We Love You!/; .\anci Cooke: Boh Butler (Official Plague Advisor For Life/: Jerry
Perez: Josh Fein (you was mbhed of a Violet); Ail the old editors who helped mu with this issue: Michael P
Casey: Axie and Pipette: Scott Vrable: Gabriel Movsesyan A WNYU Radio: LOVE: Harlem > Own
neighborhood Barbershop (55 Lenox Avenue on HJlh StreeO: The Animalronh Children: Furio: Lukas '
failed Animal Plane! sketch: John Walsh (not the America's Most Wanted guyt: Rich Brown: Natty Bates
(our cover baby/: Vera's Muse: Hillary Duff and Amanda dynes. Nasty Disaster A the Sluts of Metal: Regis
High School: St. John 1 Preparatory School. The story o f Lukas 'birth: Rennet: the mouse in mv house: Mr
Wizard 11II cry when you diet: The Calamitous Fourteenth Century: Bellevue Bar (40lh St. A 1th Ave.J:
Drew Berner: Chris Mali: James Kennedy: SARS: Eugene Mirman: President Sexton s Sense of Humour:
The transient who kidnapped Elizabeth Smart: Vat A I.eanne: Strepsiis: Elias lxmnrot: Minetta Resiew: all
at our mommies: GM Printing: 212-334-3388
Okay guys, admit it, you totally fell for that whole final issue prank.
D on’t try and play it cool. You were all like “Oh no, no more Plague. You
can t be serious!” And we w ere like “ Yeah, w e’re com pletely serious."
Then y o u ’re like: “Wow, this sucks. A life with no Plague? This leaves me
no choice but to kill m yself." So w e’re like: “Here, use m y knife. I got it
for free with my Sports Illustrated subscription.” Then you killed yourself.
Dude, you know th at’s how it went down.
Now your suicide aside, the main reason w e're here is because this is the
official 25th A nniversary issue o f The Plague'. Yup. what began in 1977 as
one m an’s journal about his dandruff collection is now 25 years old. and a
comedy m agazine no less. Inside this issue y ou'll find a very special sec-
tion containing new subm issions from some o f The Plague's most talented
former editors. It’s all super funny and I'm sure y ou 'd really love it, if you
hadn’t already com m itted suicide. But trust us. Its good.

THE PLAGUE 25th Anniversary>Issue, page 3