Fan Fiction: Here's Looking at You Mr.

Speaker

On a grey but otherwise nondescript day in late January of 1970 Ayn Rand hawked up a loogie
and spit it into a soggy tissue she'd gripped in her hand as she slept. Having been roused by the
chore, and just as her mind struggled to ascertain what time of day it might be from the throes
of the dank sick bed she inhabited, her hand fumbled over her nightstand in search of an open
pack of cigarettes as she felt the desperate need of one or two or three. Her scratched throat
wanting quelling only with the soothingly masochistic puffs of vapor that tobacco promised she
instead knocked a full tray of ashes and butts onto the Oriental rug below. The agony of it
provoked her to curse the day as she grabbed up her bottle of Nyquil instead. Unbeknownst to
her (and of no concern to her anyway had she been made aware of it) a baby who would
someday become Speaker of the House of Representatives was elsewhere hatching from an egg.
And though she would not have cared what happened to that baby hatchling the baby would
nonetheless come to idolize her and the unusual philosophy she'd invented.

Myrtle, a Zenuvian female hosting a soon to be hatchling hybrid, and her cock Woodrow had
previously mated so as to fertilize the manipulated egg that had been implanted in her prior to
an interstellar displacement protocol from their home planet being initiated, transporting them
to a destination on the far side of the galaxy. Following the pair's arrival on Earth they would
then have only to locate a secure place in which to take turns tending to their manipulated egg
once Myrtle laid it. Upon their successful transport the requisite displacement to maintain
galactic balance, in this case a hog from a Wisconsin pig farm, arrived conversely back on their
home planet as a placekeeper for their shifted mass to insure that the connection between the
worlds remained open.

The earthy atmosphere rendered by dark soil and rotting cellulose found in an old abandoned
barn on the city outskirts of a place called Janesville Wisconsin happened to be just what their
egg needed to thrive. Having made a nest there the pair of bird-like aliens, Myrtle and Woody
from the planet Zenu, settled in to see to the hatching of a creature they had smuggled onto
what was, to them, a newly discovered planet.

Zenuvian geneticists had calculated that, because of the many primitive traits and instincts
inherent in human genes, hybrid human/zenuvian creations would be superior to an extent that
allowed domination and manipulation of humans even if the hybrid creatures were not fully
cognizant of the fact that they were not like humans. These geneticists further calculated that
by no later than a third generation the zenuvian hybrids would experience a singularity with
their zenuvian creators so that a full conquest to repopulate the planet Earth with Zenuvian DNA
could commence. To that end Myrtle and Woody were among the first wave of invaders.

Being a hybrid creature the Zenuvian pair knew that they would not be equipped to care for the
hatchling; a hatchling which, upon arrival, appeared like a human baby boy in almost every
aspect except for a shocking crop of black hair growing conspicuously down the middle of its
forehead in an exaggerated widow's peak. In anticipation of the hatchling requiring the care of
human beings the pair of alien fowls had perpetrated Zenuvian mind control on a local human
couple which they had chosen as surrogates to parent the creature. The Ryans never did know
why or how they came to be standing naked in an abandoned barn outside of their town but the
man, being of Irish descent, and his wife, being of German and English descent, were content to
accept that a newborn baby laying in a bed of feathers in a barn's loft was only a newborn that
really had been brought by the stork. Fearing, upon hearing such a conversation from the
couple, that their striking similarity to storks possessing an inexplicable dexterity might betray
them as alien conspirators Myrtle and Woody applied for and were granted the use of a
squadron of remote drones to track the progress of the creature while they would remain
incognito in a wetland south of Atlanta Georgia. Zenuvian drones are called pigeons by the
humans as humans mistakenly believe them to be common descendants of actual pigeons which
went extinct at the beginning of the last century.