Academic Style 1: Formality Part 1

Notes: Formal Writing

 Do not use contractions (can’t, he’d, won’t)
 Do not use informal expressions (stuff, awesome, etc)
 Avoid using the first person (No I, me ,my) e.g. I think cellphones should be banned in
classrooms.
 Avoid using personal examples/experiences
 Avoid addressing the reader directly ("you”)

If you want to succed, you should Following this process will increase
follow this process. one's chances for success.

 Avoid using emotional language

 Avoid using over-generalizations

Everybody knows that

Over-generalizations
smartphones are useful

 Do not use statistics without proper reference: Do not write a percentage at least you
are pretty sure.
 Use passive voice (Impersonal + Objective) e.g. “It is believed by some that
widespread use of technology in daily life is affecting the way people interact with one
another.”
 Try use more academic vocabulary
Expressions:
Avoid vague language
 Avoid vague expressions like ‘lots of’. Use ‘a significant/considerable number’, or give
exact amounts if you have the data. Little and big are also vague. Use small or large to
be more formal, and give the specific size if you know it.
 Also avoid ‘get’ phrases such as get better/worse or get a job. Use ‘improve’ or
‘deteriorate’ and ‘find employment’.
 ‘Good’ and ‘bad’ are simplistic words. Use descriptive adjectives, such as ‘positive’ or
‘beneficial’ and ‘negative’ or ‘detrimental’.

Academic Style 1: Formality Part 2

Lesson Aims
There is no one correct style of academic writing and with practice you will develop your own ‘voice’.
This two-part lesson aims to show you ways to improve your academic voice by composing and
checking your written work with formality in mind.

Part 1 focused on avoiding: Part 2 will focus on avoiding:

1.cliché and formulaic expressions 1.contractions and abbreviations

1.idioms and proverbs 1.personal language

1.colloquialisms and emotive language 1.rhetorical questions

1.vague language 1.phrasal verbs

Resume
Avoid contractions and Avoid personal language Avoid rhetorical Avoid phrasal verbs
abbreviations questions
You should not contract In some reports and Rhetorical It is great to improve your oral English fluency by
verb forms in academic assignments, you will be questions are often using phrasal verbs. However, avoid using two-word
writing. Use ‘do not’ for asked to speak from your used in oral verbs such as ‘go on’ or ‘bring up’ if there are suitable
‘don’t’, ‘cannot’ for ‘can’t’ personal experience in your presentations to and more academic synonyms, such as ‘continue’ or
and ‘should have’ for field of study and work. In get the audience ‘raise’.
‘should’ve’. these cases, you can use thinking. For
personal pronouns to example, “So, why
The full form of words express your response. did war break out
should also be used rather However, in much in 1914?”
than abbreviations: academic writing, it is best
to avoid personal language In academic
 TV = television such as: writing it is better
 memo = to use statements
memorandum  ‘In my opinion …’ such as, “There
 the net = the Internet  ‘You should …’ were three main
 AC = air  ‘As we all know …’ reasons for the
conditioning outbreak of war in
Instead, try expressions 1914.” Remember,
You should also avoid like: you shouldn’t
using ‘etc.’ or ‘et cetera’. directly address
Use ‘and so on’ if you need  ‘Considering these your audience.
to indicate an ongoing list, facts, it could be
but it is better to contended that …’
specifically name what you  ‘It is recommended
would like to include. that ...’
Write ‘for example’ rather  ‘In Australia, many
than e.g. and ‘specifically’ people share the
rather than ‘i.e.’. belief that …’

Noticing informal language Rewritten

Consider the paragraph below and look “Motivation has been the subject of
at the examples of informal language numerous studies during recent decades,
noted in the table. Can you think of but this essay will focus on Maslow's
more formal expressions? hierarchy of needs theory (1943) and
Herzberg's two-factor theory (1966). Their
“How to make people work harder is a contemporary relevance to the need to
topic that lots of people have written motivate employees effectively will be
about in the last few years. There are examined critically, given that this can be
lots of different theories etc. and I think considered crucial to a firm's survival in
some of them are ok. When we think the current economic climate.”
about this, we should remember the old
Chinese proverb that you can lead a
horse to water, but you can't make it
drink. So how do we increase
production? It's quite a complex
subject, but I'll just talk about a couple
of ideas.”
Example response
Compare your submission with this example answer. Did you attempt to change similar aspects of the
original text? Discuss your submission with your teacher during your next consultation session.

Original
These days a lot of kids are starting school early.
Before, they began at 5, but now it's normal to
start at 4 or younger. Why is this? One thing is
that mums need to get back to work. Is it good for
the kids? Whitebread (2013) has studied this and
says that early schooling doesn't help them get
ahead later in life. I'm not sure this is true,
considering excellent education systems in
countries where kids start young e.g. Singapore
and South Korea.
Rewritten:
Currently, a significant percentage of children in
industrially developed societies are starting
school at the age of four or less, whereas a few
decades ago, five was the normal age. There are
numerous reasons for this change. One example
is the need for mothers to resume earning income
in the workforce. There are various views about
the effects of earlier schooling on the children
concerned. Whitebread (2013) claims that it does
not lead to improved results in later schooling.
However, this is debatable considering the
impressive rates of numeracy and literacy in
countries such as Singapore and South Korea,
where children begin school at an early age.
Academic Style 2
Lesson Aims
Paraphrasing is an important aspect of academic writing. It involves expressing original ideas in your
own words, while acknowledging the source of the original ideas. This lesson will:
1. define paraphrasing and its characteristics
2. outline steps to take when paraphrasing
3. give examples of paraphrasing techniques
4. give you a chance to paraphrase a short paragraph

What is a paraphrase?
A paraphrase is when you write published information and ideas in your own words, without changing
the meaning of the original text. It is a way of including ideas from your research in your writing, as
long as your paraphrase includes an appropriate reference. You need to paraphrase so that you do not
copy (plagiarise) intellectual property and to show your understanding of ideas, rather than just
repeating them.

Characteristics of a paraphrase
A paraphrase is usually about the same length as the original text, unlike a summary, which is shorter
than the original text. It may contain details, because it should reflect the precise meaning of the original
text. An effective paraphrase will:
 use different words and sentence structures to the original text
 keep the same meaning at the original text

Key steps for paraphrasing

Before you begin paraphrasing, it is necessary to read the information in the original text until you are
very familiar with its content. While reading you can:
1. highlight the main points.
2. rewrite / note each important idea using synonyms.

After you have recorded the key ideas in note form, avoid using the original text while writing. This
will help to prevent plagiarism.
1. Try to reconstruct the ideas using your own sentence structures, different word forms and the
synonyms in your notes.
2. Include the reference details of the information (author/s and year).
3. Compare your paraphrase with the original text. Does it accurately represent the essential
information in a new way?
4. When you practise, ask your classmates and teachers to help you compare and check if you are
not confident.
Paraphrasing techniques
You can use a variety of techniques to change an original text. Here are some examples. Original Text:
“…the increasing diversity of students now requires that all courses should be developed with a wide
variety of approaches and ways to learn if all students in the course are to be taught well” (Bates, 2015).

 You can change the word order of sentences e.g. active to passive or passive to active
Bates (2015) argues that in order to teach a diverse range of students well, a number of approaches to
learning are required in the development of courses.

 You can change the word forms of some words in sentences e.g. noun to adjective or verb to
noun
With a growing number of students from diverse backgrounds and situations, various methods of
teaching need to be considered in the development of effective learning materials (Bates, 2015).

 You can use synonyms to rephrase sentences.

To ensure students from increasingly various backgrounds learn successfully, Bates (2015)
recommends that courses need to be designed to incorporate numerous modes of delivery.

Each example retains the meaning of the original text, but there are no chains or chunks of words
from the original texts. Key words, such as 'students' and 'courses' are kept. The best
paraphrasing will combine all three techniques.
Paraphrasing example
Look at the two paragraphs and consider the following questions:
1. Are the paragraphs a similar length?
2. How does the first sentence differ in each paragraph?
3. What synonyms can you find in the two paragraphs
4. Has the paraphrase organised the ideas in the same way as the original? What differences do
you see?
5. Is the meaning the same in the paraphrased text?
6. Is it appropriately referenced?

Original Text: Paraphrased Text:

“Recruitment requires planning. When
companies need to recruit someone to work for
them they will consider the role performed by the
new employee and what skills are needed, as this
helps with the selection process after the
interview. Apart from those two areas, recruiters
will also need to write a job description which
clarifies the new employee’s role and
responsibilities. Conditions, pay and training also
need to be made clear to the prospective
employee. Equal opportunity guidelines will also
apply to the interview and selection process”
(Gaffney, Hennessey & Rahilly, 2008).
Gaffney, Hennessy and Rahilly (2008) state that
the recruitment process companies commonly
use involves a number of considerations which
need careful planning. In addition to the job title
and the skills required, human resources staff
also need to draft a clear position description
which details the role and its responsibilities.
Companies are obliged to inform potential job
applicants of the amount of training, the amount
of pay and the conditions which come with the
role. Equal opportunity principles must also be
considered, especially at the interview and
selection stages.

Features of the example paraphrase

Parts of the original and paraphrased texts which contain the same meaning are highlighted below. You
can see the use of synonyms and alternative expressions, changes to word order, and active and passive
voice changes. You can see that key words, in bold, remain to keep the message clear.

Original Text: Paraphrased Text:

“Recruitment requires planning. When
companies need to recruit someone to work for
them, they will consider the role performed by
the new employee and what skills are needed, as
this helps with the selection process after the
interview. Apart from those two areas, recruiters
will also need to write a job description which
clarifies the new employee’s role and
responsibilities. Conditions, pay and training
also need to be made clear to the prospective
employee. Equal opportunity guidelines will
also apply to the interview and selection
process” (Gaffney, Hennessey & Rahilly, 2008).
Gaffney, Hennessy and Rahilly (2008) state that
the recruitment process companies commonly
use involves a number of considerations which
need careful planning. In addition to the job title
and the skills required, human resources staff
also need to draft a clear position description
which details the role and its responsibilities.
Companies are obliged to inform potential job
applicants of the amount of training, the amount
of pay and the conditions which come with the
role. Equal opportunity principles must also be
considered, especially at the interview and
selection stages.
Familiarise yourself with the paragraph below. Follow the steps for paraphrasing and type your
paraphrase below.
1. highlight the main points
2. rewrite / note each important idea using synonyms
3. try to reconstruct the ideas using your own sentence structures, different word forms and the
synonyms in your notes
4. include the reference details of the information (author/s and year)
5. compare your paraphrase with the original text. Does it accurately represent the essential
information in a new way?

Original Text: Paraphrased Text:

“Another complicating factor is that invention
and innovation is a continuous process. For
instance, the car as we know it today is radically
improved compared to the first commercial
models, due to the incorporation of a very large
number of different innovations/inventions. In
fact, the first versions of virtually all significant
innovations, from the steam engine to the
airplane, were crude, unreliable versions of the
devices that eventually diffused widely. Thus,
what we think of as innovation is often the result
of a lengthy process involving many interrelated
innovations” (Fagerberg, Mowery & Nelson,
2005).
Fagerberg, Mowery and Nelson (2005) explain
that being a continuous process, invention and
innovation can seem complicated. To clarify, as
a result of many different innovations/inventions,
there is a big difference between the first cars that
were sold and the cars of today which presents
many improvements. The previous example is
seen in other devices, such as steam engines or
airplanes, where the final versions of the
inventions disseminated among people are very
different from the first crude and unreliable
versions created. Consequently, what is
considered innovation is the reflection of a
continuous process of many connected
innovations.
Academic Style 1: Hedging
Lesson Aims
Hedging refers to the cautious use of language to allow for degrees of uncertainty and exceptions and
to qualify your information. It is important to use hedging in academic writing. This lesson will:

 define hedging and why it is used

 outline various kinds of hedging language you can use
 give some examples to reinforce your understanding
 give you a chance to practise
What is hedging?
A cautious style is necessary in many areas of academic writing. To ‘hedge’ is to:

 intentionally avoid committing 100% to a statement

 be confidently uncertain
 use verbal and adverbial expressions which deal with degrees of probability

It is often believed that academic writing, particularly scientific writing, is factual. However, an
important feature of academic writing is the concept of cautious language, or hedging.
It is necessary to make decisions about the strength of the claims you are making and to demonstrate
competence in using an appropriate voice or register in your specialist area.

Why use hedging?

Here are four reasons to hedge:
1. By hedging, you reduce the risk of opposition. Your arguments cannot easily be attacked
2. Expressing a lack of certainty may be an accurate representation of the knowledge you are
presenting. Stronger statements may not be justified by the data or evidence you are presenting.
3. Hedges can be a politeness strategy, in which the writer tries to appear humble, rather than
all-knowing and arrogant. Hedging can support your position and build a better relationship
with the receiver of your message.
4. Hedging is a conventionalized way of expressing ideas in academic writing. You need to be
aware of this established style and try to use it.
Language used in hedging
Here are some examples of language which can be used for hedging.

Examples of hedging
Compare the following pairs of sentences and note the difference in meaning and voice.

Example 1 Example 2 Example 3 Example 4 Example 5

1.Three categories can be

1.There is perceived: the first
1.The
experimental work 1.The results shown in contains acceptable wordi
data supports the
shows that a week or Figure 1.Vinculin localises in ngs, the second wordings
hypothesis, and further
ten days is not long 1 demonstrate that low amounts at the which were problematic
sampling can increase
enough and a fortnight stratified sampling by basement membrane … but are now acceptable,
the reliability of the and the third wordings
to three weeks is the gender …
final result. which remain
best theoretical period. inadmissible.

1.It appears to
establish three categories:
1.There is the first contains
1.The data possibly
experimental work to wordings generally
supports the
show that a week or 1.The results shown in 1.It is likely that agreed to be acceptable,
hypothesis, but further
ten days may not Figure 1 suggest that vinculin localises in the second wordings
sampling would need which appear to have
be long enough and a stratified sampling by low amounts at the
to be undertaken to
fortnight to three gender … basement membrane … been at some
increase the reliability time problematic but are
weeks is probably the
of the final result. now acceptable, and the
best theoretical period. third wordings which
remain inadmissible.
Look at the original text below. Note the language in bold. Rewrite the text using more cautious
approach. Use a range of hedging language. There are a number of possibilities!

Original Text:

A team of American scientists have found a way to reverse the ageing process. They fed diet
supplements, found in health food shops, to elderly rats, which were then tested for memory and
stamina. The animals displayed more active behaviour after taking the supplements, and their memory
improved. In addition, their appearance became more youthful and their appetite increased. The
researchers say that this experiment is a clear indication of how the problems of old age can
be overcome. They state that in a few years’ time everyone will be able to look forward to a long and
active retirement.

A team of American scientists appear to have found a way to reverse the ageing process. They fed diet
supplements, probably found in health food shops, to elderly rats, which were then tested for memory
and stamina. The animals seem to displayed more active behaviour after taking the supplements,
and their memory apparently improved. In addition, their appearance became more youthful and their
appetite presumably increased. The researchers believe that this experiment is a clear indication of how
the problems of old age could be overcome. They suggest that in a few years’ time perhaps everyone
would be able to look forward to a possibly long and active retirement.

Example response:

A team of American scientists may have found a way to reverse the ageing process. They fed diet
supplements, usually found in health food shops, to elderly rats, which were then tested for memory
and stamina. The animals seemed to display more active behaviour after taking the supplements,
and their memory generally improved. In addition, their appearance became more youthful and their
appetite tended to increase. The researchers believe that this experiment is a clear indication of how
the problems of old age could possibly be overcome. They estimate that in a few years’ time a large
number of people could potentially look forward to a relatively long and active retirement.