Wednesday, April 15, 2009

https://web.archive.org/web/20090427090830/http://www.lloydine.co
m/journal

White Rhythmic Wind

Today is a day for me to reflect on my life as a woman who took on her husband’s name
and identity. I married Jose Arguelles on September 21, 1983. It has now been almost
seven years since I left my marriage and became a divorced woman, choosing to live
alone. I never made a public statement with regard to the ending of my marriage. Now
that Jose’s current wife, Stephanie South, has written a biography 2012 The Biography
of a Time Traveler, I am called forth to speak my truth.

Seven years ago I became a practitioner of Falun Dafa (Falun Gong) which is based on
three universal principles – truthfulness, compassion, forebearance. I am finally ready
to reveal the truth of living in polygamy for nine months with Jose Arguelles and
Stephanie South. We mutually entered into what was at first a loving relationship
between us all; but one which ended in mutual suffering.

I have been inspired to write these words of truth because the Mother, Miriam, of my
stepdaughter, Tara, has decided to write down her reaction to the new book. I also
received a copy of the new book, but I simply skimmed it and felt that I needed to move
on with my life, finding the omissions with regard to my role with Jose to be
disconcerting. I am not a victim. I am a survivor of life who aspires to look within myself
for the answers for my own healing.

What I have stated are words from my own understanding. Now I am happy to share
the following words written by Miriam Tarcov, Mother of Tara and Josh, who was also
an equal partner with Jose Arguelles when they wrote the book Mandala together, as
well as Feminine, Spacious as the Sky.

The following is posted from Miriam Tarcov:

My daughter Tara and I recently received from Jose, his biography, written by his wife,
Stephanie South. Because Stephanie and Jose chose to include myself and our children
in this work, I feel it only appropriate to respond to this piece of interpretive history. My
primary inspiration to respond to the book is because of my daughter Tara. For it is she,
who choicelessly had to struggle with and come to terms with having a father who has
been irresponsible, dangerous, selfish, and totally self-absorbed. The woman that Tara
is today is entirely due to her own hard and disciplined work on herself. She has become
a very successful and accomplished woman, holding three degrees, married with two
beautiful young boys.
I wish to say very little with regard to Jose’s recollections of our son, Josh, who died 22
years ago. Jose has created a story line about Josh that fits very conveniently into the
mythos of Jose the avatar and prophet.

I am speaking for myself in this piece, but I feel that I can say with considerable
confidence that most members in Jose’s family: siblings, step-children, past partners and
particularly his daughter and her young family, would be in complete agreement with
my response. This is a significant fact to understanding this “time traveler” and
“visionary”. I would imagine that for most students of history and evolution, they would
want to look at and scrutinize very closely any individual who professes to understand
global history and humanity, let alone holds a unique and powerful vision for the future
of humankind. This doesn’t mean that Jose cannot be seen as a visionary. Not all
visionaries are by definition, kind and loving family members.

This is written by a woman who was once his equal partner, and who was profoundly
disappointed by Jose’s narcissistic egotism, his careless and destructive behavior toward
his children, and his indulgent addictions.

Does Jose manifest to his family kindness, compassion, responsibility, “doing the right
thing”? The answer is a resounding no. He has no semblance of any relationship to his
child, grandchildren, step children, past partners, and siblings.

For those who read Jose’s books and look to him for guidance and a sense of meaning
to their world, I would like to elaborate on this critical point of a man who claims to be
a “prophet without a pulpit” yet who cannot and will not relate to his own family with
simple, open, selfless love.

In 2012 (page 185), Stephanie writes “Jose accepted responsibility for the large family –
this marked his character in the early 1980s. He was making a conscious effort to ‘do
things right’ and be a good husband and father, as he felt that he had somehow failed
his first family test.” Simply put, Jose was delusional if he felt he was doing things right.
He failed his second family test with selfishness, irresponsibility, as well as reckless
endangerment to his children, Tara and Josh. To ‘do things right’ does not mean that a
loving father encourages and offers psychedelic drugs to his young adolescent children
and their friends.

With my daughter’s permission and encouragement, I wish to share Tara’s last and
probably final visit with Jose. A little over six years ago Tara decided to visit Jose and his
wife, Lloydine. She went there to find out what was going on in the household, because
Jose had been telling her about another woman living with them – later to be identified
as Stephanie. Tara asked Jose and Lloydine if theirs was a monogamous relationship.
They responded ‘No’ and Tara discovered that Jose was committed to and deeply
involved with Stephanie. Tara immediately left, and Lloydine followed suit just a few
days later, followed by filing for divorce.

I write all of this not out of spite, envy or malice, just simply to set things straight. My
daughter deserved so much better than a biological father who offered nothing but
disappointment, embarrassment, and careless endangerment. As a past partner of
Jose’s, I can only add that there is no problem with having a dream, but when it becomes
a nightmare for those closest to you, there is a problem.