Conversation

Tactics: Scripts

Here are a few foolproof and failsafe CONVERSATION SCRIPTS you can use with
anyone in just about any situation.

It can really be as simple as this most of the time, because while the range of
conversation is broad, it is at its core a statement and a response.

If these various scripts appear difficult at first, it’s likely because of the one of the
following:

1. You are used to only one means of communication.
2. You are not used to focusing on the other person as much.
3. You aren’t actively engaging with people currently and often let the ball drop in
conversations.
4. You often get stuck in conversation topics and don’t know how to transition.
5. You have assumptions about what is available and appropriate to talk about with
others, and it’s leading you down a path of boredom.

It may be all of them to some extent, or it may be none of them!

As long as you keep an open mind as to putting these into use and give them a shot,
you’ll reap the rewards.

How they work: They are scripts for you to follow; as in, they tell you exactly how to
reply to something, and in what order.

However, they are not self-contained statements. You still need to read and react to
the other person minimally. Remember, conversation is just a statement and a
response – and then repeat.

In conversation and with these scripts in particular, below are the four steps to
follow when engaging with anyone.

Step 1: Always first acknowledge what has been said before launching into what the
script dictates. Don’t interrupt. Don’t ignore them. Don’t just be waiting for your
turn to speak. For example, “Oh, that’s cool to hear about your phone.”
Step 2: Hit the mark with what the script says.
Step 3: Listen to externally react as they respond.
Step 4: Rinse and repeat. Easy, right?


What goes into the scripts? Elements of what you’ve learned throughout the course,
so you’ll be using everything you’ve learned and be putting it all together. Time to
review!

1. Elements from HPM, EDR, and SBR.
2. Icebreakers.
3. Specific statements versus broad questions.
4. Callbacks.
5. Active Listening.
6. Hypotheticals.
7. Amplification.
8. Self-deprecation.
9. Sarcasm.
10. Role play.
11. Asking for stories.
12. Knowing your stories.
13. And more!

You can feel free to loop, splice, combine, and do whatever you want with these
scripts.

As always, practice and application are king, not mere knowledge.


Script #1: Meeting a Stranger

1. Indirect Icebreaker
2. (acknowledge) Compliment, Detail question
3. (acknowledge) Broad question
4. (acknowledge) History, Detail question
5. (acknowledge) Broad question
6. (acknowledge) Philosophy, Broad question
7. (acknowledge) Emotion

Notes about this script: Notice that you don’t need to even say “Hello, it’s nice to
meet you, my name is Patrick” because that will work itself in organically and
naturally after a rapport has been built.

Starting with that kind of ice breaker is something you might do at a networking
event. It instantly makes it formal and thus a little bit uncomfortable. Why not skip
that step?

Take not that each statement that implores you to say something about yourself is
immediately chained to a question about the other person to keep the conversation
flowing. There’s roughly a 2:1 ratio of asking about the other person versus talking
about yourself, which is ideal in most situations – especially when you’re meeting a
stranger.

Finally, this script assumes that the other person isn’t giving you much, as you’ll see,
and that you’ll have to lead the interaction.

Here’s an example. Remember to acknowledge first before going into the script!

1. Indirect icebreaker: Did you see those lights on the way in? Really unique.
a. Their response: Yes, I agree. It’s like Christmas in August.
2. Compliment, Detail question: Yeah, good comparison. By the way, I really
like those shoes. Are they the ones I’ve been seeing everywhere in gyms?
a. Their response: Yes, thanks for noticing! I just wanted to spoil myself so I
wear them as much as possible.
3. Broad question: Oh, got it. Are you a big shoe or fashion person?
a. Their response: It’s a new thing that started after my friend told me I
needed to dress better! I’m working on it!
4. History, Detail question: I totally get it. The last time I went shopping, I
asked a friend to come with me and basically dress me like a toddler. It
totally worked. So the shoes are your first big move?

a. Their response: Yes! With much more to come, I’m sure.
5. Broad question: It’s inevitable. So how do you know James, our mutual
friend?
a. Their response: We went to college together, I think we were in a
philosophy course or something.
6. Philosophy, Broad question: Very cool, you guys go back a long way, then. I
think it’s amazing that people can keep in touch for so long, because I did a
bad job of that with my college friends. Do you see him often and live
nearby?
a. Their response: No, I don’t do a good job either of keeping in touch. I just
moved to the area and James was cool enough to help me try to make new
friends.
7. Emotion: Oh, I see. It’s pretty frustrating to find new people in a new place,
right?
a. Their response: YES!



Script #2: Going Deep

1. Indirect Icebreaker, Emotion.
2. (acknowledge) Active Listening.
3. (acknowledge) Specific question.
4. (acknowledge) Broad question.
5. (acknowledge) Philosophy, Specific question.
6. (acknowledge) Active Listening.
7. (acknowledge) History, Broad question.


Notes about this script: To go deep and get to more emotional (and less shallow)
material, start it right off with an emotional read on the other person, and continue
down that line of thought.

Don’t stay on topics like the weather or their commute – why would you talk about
those if you expected to go deep? It just doesn’t make sense, so why not jump right
in? Don’t be afraid that you’ll be inappropriate. The example below will show that
it’s rarely a valid concern.

Going deep with someone is about asking the right questions, not being afraid to ask
pointed questions, and offering only limited input of your own, allowing the other
person to speak their hearts fill.

Acknowledgment and understanding are also key components, as they need to feel
safe to be vulnerable, and never judged.

1. Indirect Icebreaker, Emotion: I can’t believe the rain today, it always
makes my mood terrible. I can’t be the only one, right?
a. Their response: I totally agree. It’s so much harder to even get out of bed
when it’s rainy and gloomy.
2. Active Listening: Sounds like it’s just a huge struggle for you to accomplish
much when it’s bad weather.
a. Their response: Yeah, I never really realized that until now I guess.
3. Specific question: Interesting. So is it just the weather and rain bogging you
down today?
a. Their response: Actually, I’m glad you asked. Yeah, work has been a drag
lately and I feel like I’ve been messing up a lot.
4. Broad question: Oh, sorry to hear about that. Is it a seasonal thing, or just
your company?
a. Their response: I think it’s just me, actually.

5. Philosophy, Specific question: I see. I think these sorts of things will build
and build unless you can step back and just take some time to relax and de-
stress. Have you done anything like that?
a. Their response: Not yet, but that’s a great idea. I just work and go home.
6. Active Listening: Seems like working and going home isn’t working out for
you!
a. Their response: Yeah, I need to explore what else I can do in my day to set
aside some time.
7. History, Broad question: I remember the last time I was really stressed out,
I actually took some vacation days to just sit around home and catch up on
sleep. Is that an option for you?
a. Their response: Well…



Script #3: Goofing Around

1. Indirect Icebreaker, Hypothetical.
2. (acknowledge) Philosophy, Specific question.
3. (acknowledge) Broad question.
4. (acknowledge) Amplification by misconstruing (until someone breaks).
5. (acknowledge) Hypothetical.
6. (acknowledge) Specific question.
7. (acknowledge) Callback.

Notes about this script: With goofing around in a humorous way, the main focus is
always on playing and not taking things seriously. Questions aren’t answered
literally, and statements are routinely misconstrued in an intentional and
lighthearted way.

Make jokes and stay in them. You’re not trying to convey any emotion in particular,
or accomplish a goal – you just want to goof around and build rapport with people
and play.

Here, you set yourself up for a callback at the end by introducing two hypotheticals
that are rich in creative imagery – then you just relate one topic to the other. It’s
very easy to introduce, as you’ll see.

In the middle, it seemed that the other person didn’t know how to respond, so that’s
when you ease them into another topic by asking a broader question and looking
elsewhere.

1. Indirect Icebreaker, Hypothetical: Whoa, did you see that homeless
woman’s hair? Let me ask you: would you rather have her hair for two
weeks, or only be able to wash your feet once every two weeks?
a. Their response: Oh, my gosh. What a crazy question. Can I choose
neither? I’d go with not washing my feet.
2. Philosophy, Specific question: See, I completely disagree! Feet smell so bad,
and with that hair, you can wear things over it to suppress the smell, like
helmets. And what about athlete’s foot?
a. Their response: Gross! Okay, you could be right. I’m getting queasy here
thinking about it.
3. Broad question: It’s just like camping, right? Or are you a city person
through and through?
a. Their response: Okay, you got me. I totally am a city person. Boo to dirt.

4. Amplification by misconstruing (until someone breaks): What a
prince/princess. Where shall I bring your chalice of water?
a. Their response: Is the chalice made of gold? Otherwise you’re banished.
b. Your response: It’s made of gold and platinum. That kind of
treatment is going to get your food taster poisoned, you know.
c. Their response: Good thing I can just have you executed like Henry the
8th.
d. Your response: You’ve also got the figure of Henry the 8th…
e. Their response: I can’t believe how jealous you are.
f. Your response: Am I that transparent?
5. Hypothetical: Okay, you got me. How about this; would you rather be 60
pounds overweight or 30 pounds underweight?
a. Their response: Good question. I’ll go with underweight so I can eat as
unhealthy as I want.
6. Specific question: But what about feeling sickly and fragile?
a. Their response: Oh, good point.
7. Callback: Makes too much sense for a city person to feel sickly and fragile
all the time, doesn’t it!
a. Their response: Oh, snap! You got me!



Script #4: General Purpose Engaging Conversation

1. Indirect Icebreaker, Broad question.
2. (acknowledge) Broad question.
3. (acknowledge) Specific question.
4. (acknowledge) Broad question.
5. (acknowledge) Related, History, Broad question.
6. (acknowledge) Active Listening.
7. (acknowledge) Philosophy.
8. (acknowledge) Related.

Notes about this script: This is a script that can be used for general purposes. It is
very adaptable, and just focuses on gaining engagement and rapport.

As with most, it tends to focus on the other person because most people that have
trouble with conversation have trouble thinking outside of themselves and being
curious to the other person.

Much of the time, you’ll have to take charge of the interaction. As long as you know
this, you’ll be fine. It’s only when we expect others to take charge and entertain us
that we run into trouble… because that will rarely happen. And why would you
depend on it to happen?

Take note of how 2-3 types of replies can be chained together effortlessly –
sometimes they feel incredibly natural to do.

Put these chains and scripts into your conversation toolbox and you’ll have
anywhere from 2-5 questions, directions, or statements to go to once you hear
something. It becomes natural.

1. Indirect Icebreaker, Broad question: Hey, how long has it been since you
started that big project?
a. Their response: I’m not sure, probably about 2 months? Why do you ask?
2. Broad question: Just wondering. How do you find it so far? Challenging or
just menial?
a. Their response: Well, a mix of both, but more on the challenging side. Lots
of long hours.
3. Specific question: Ah, well it could be worse, I guess. What kind of hours
are you pulling these days?
a. Their response: I’m lucky if it’s 9:00am-7:00pm, more often it’s closer to
9:00am-8:30pm.

4. Broad question: Oh, I see. That can be rough. Is it pretty much company-
wide, or just for your group because of the project?
a. Their response: Hah, mostly me. Don’t you love work?
5. Related, History, Broad question: Don’t we all? Makes me glad that I have
two creative outlets of music and drawing. What’s your favorite type of
music?
a. Their response: Yeah, that’s great! Usually rap, but sometimes country
these days.
6. Active Listening: So you like rap, but country is up and coming in your
book?
a. Their response: Yeah, weird mix, right?
7. Philosophy: Maybe, but I see no reason not to! I love all types of music
except ones that don’t resemble music, like screaming death metal.
a. Their response: I almost agree, except I don’t like music that has no lyrics.
I just zone out and get too bored with it.
8. Related: Oh, I get that. For some reason, it makes me think of silent movies
and how some people still love those, while I would be bored to tears with
them.
a. Their response: How dare you insult Charlie Chaplin?