Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Issue #41
Volume VI
Number IV
Editor
Rob Vaux
Advertising Manager
Marcelo A. Figueroa
Publishers
John Zinser
and David Seay About the Cover
"I SEEEEE YOUUUUUU ... "
Keith Parkinson's slimy
Editor Emeritus voyeur sneaks a peak at
D.J. Trindle our 'readers, just in time
for October. You
wouldn't believe how
Would you like fries long it took to get the
with that? gunk off the rest of
the issue.
SHADIS Magazine
is published monthly by the
by Edward J. Carmien
inters ~cl his Queen's pawn forwarJ two ••• to m~ the envelope onro rhe front scat. The
VOLUME VI • NUMBER IV 67
The Bureaucrat
n't going to ~derailed hy a petty hureaucnu! Croydon scared for .1 moment, then said "Good," saiJ Smith. "Sometimes, in che
He maJe che meeting time with -cconJs co "You're a goddamne<l ~pook!" Has voice rose in cour-e of doing business, different agenc1e' leram
spare, pu.,hmg open rhe door to the ~mall confer· pitch at the end, almmt cmckc...J. a bit of th1~ or chat. Eventually, that mformanon
ence room w1Chout knocking. After he gave rhis Smith shook has hc..':ld, hut did not laugh. "No, will make its way to your office, m YllU. The
Smith a Lalking to, he'd pull a few stnng h1m;,elf. Mr. Croydon, not in the w:iy you 1magme. Like Archt\"e part of the job mvolves recording rim
Fe<l wh1ce-collar workers were immune w many you, I'm merely a functionary, a bureaucrat, a cog informamm. The Consultant part h<l, ro do with
forms of pe~ua>1tm aml pressure, but not all! in a much larger machmc. I have a job co do, and as..o,uring chat no department or agency mkes
The conference room was dark, lit only hy tl1m you have a job co dn. Don't you agree?" actkm 1hey shouldn't rcgarJing ~uch 1nformn·
lamps upon the round cable. Smith 5nt there, a Harry Croydon snt back m h is chair and shook tion."
sti ll figure inn black wool suir. There were n few his head. "No, no w::ty I'm goi ng ro be shuffled Croydon sac quietly, transfixed hy Smi1h\
papers on the rahle. He watched quietly as Harry inco some Fed job. I'll jusr hir che local circuit. pcncrrnrinl! voice. Smith connnueJ.
CroyJon unkasheJ his initial barrage. Back in my home dbtnct, rhey say Sherman's giv· "And since you have a record, there\ no need
"What the hell is this a ll aboucr' he ~houted, ing up his seat. I could run for rhm, I'd lose, but I for any other agency ro keep certain information.
slamming the whice envelope onro the cahle. could run and it would get my name our... " Ym1 sec thac files are purged anJ J,ir,1h.iscs kept
"Who the hell Jo you think you are, getting me "Harry," said Smith 4u1ccly. "You're nor listen· clean of unnecessary clutter that might d1stmct
booted out of the White House, and then Jel1v· mg co me. This joh needs YllU. I picke<l you from hard-working Americaru from their )Ohs. Do you
ering chi' crap m me on my way ouc 1 ls that your hundreds of candidates. When you hear more underscandr'
1tlea of some kinJ of sick Joke?" about it ... you'll want the 1oh. Trust me." He Croydon nodded, then struggled to 'peech a'
"Wou!Jn'c you be more comfonahle '>itting leaned inco the light, then, and Croydon was a diver might struggle ro the '>urfocc from deep
down, Mr. CniyJon?" asked Smith, in a liqu1J, scruck by the pale he;1uty of the man's c hecks, of ~low the water.
pervasive cone. the sculpted lines of hh neck in contrast co his "What. .. information!" he said fim1 lly.
Croydon sat and wllio quiet for a mnmenl, then dark suit. "Very good," said Smich approvmgly. "1 lere,
beca me angry again. He pounded the rnhlt:, h;:i lf Croydon caught his brc:irh and said nothing. rnke ~ome w::tter." He poured ice wmcr into a cut·
in anger and half in frustration. "Whar do you "There, there, Mr. Croydon," siikl Smith. gla"' wmbler.
chink I'm going m do? Sign this employment "Aren't you curious about what the job entails/" Croydon looked about himse lf. He'd ;ilmost
agrccmenc? Ir's nm in che cards, buddy. I c;1me Croydon, still awe,truck, nodded. Smith ~en overcome by the darkness, hy m1ch\
here co cake a ixiund of flesh out of your hide leaned back, out of the laght, hut Harry could still smooch s1>caking v01ce. And he \\'<ls hunf.?ry: he'd
before I j?Cr ytiur ass kicked so far off the Hill <cc him, now that has eye~ had adjusted co the rd· sk1ppc...J dinner and it was past eight.
chat-" acive gloom. •••
Mr. Smuh interrupceJ quiecly, wirhnut effort. "Well, Harry, n's really quire sample. There are "0..1 you mean to cell me there\ a ffi<1n who
Hb placid wmd' calmed Croydon. "Now, now, certain things the President can't be trusted co worb for the Government who--"
Mr. Croydon. I kno\\ you're upset. Bue your coun· know. Certam knowledge h;1s a corrosi\'e effect "Wait for 1c," I said reprovmgly. We were on
try need~ you m chis joh. You'll have privace, on· on che human soul. 111e Federal Government, in our second game, and it was now pa>t m1dnighr.
demaml acce~ to rhe Pr~idenc and h1 cabinet its wisdom, concenmues that knowledge into one •••
24 hours a day. You'll he in the lmip on :ill cabi· office. That office has o ne employee. That "Whm mformarion?" a>ked Smith. "Good
net-level activi ties. You'll have access m top· employee is the Policy Archive Librarian and 4uesrinn. Well, chere is a mountain of it, really.
level reports from all Federal agencies: the NSA, Consultant." Tu begin, rhere are the extm·cerre~>1rh1k"
the FBI. rind so on." Croydon nodded slowly, ras 1f he understood. CmyJun laughed. "Yeah, right," he s;uJ, a lu-
de ~ll1gcrcnce coming hack mm has \'01ce.
"Ah, nl), but I'm perfeccly \ertmts," ,,ud Sm1ch
with a grm. Croydon noticed his teeth wer~·
\'CC).. ''httc. "The Air Force had quire a to·do
68 SHADIS FORTY-ONE
Ed Carmien
F
back toward the table with his prey fixed in his
grasp.
.,~
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as we set the board up for game th ree. We had
split the earlier ga mes, and this would be our last
for the evening. "Why not just break him to the Q. Free! What's the catch?
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I rubbed the King's crown absently before I set a great place to campaign that you'll want to
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"But the ti me involved ... isn't ir easier just
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Croydon came ro consciousness quickly, as if in the business.
he'd been hypnotized and someone h ad just
snapped their fingers co bring him awake. His Q. Can I use Harn World if I already have a cam-
arms hurt, and in a moment he remembered why. paign underway?
"Christ!" He stood, knocking the chair back- Harn World: Deluxe folio contains,
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wards. Smith sat across from him, illuminated in • Place the island of Harn near one of the coasts
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been before. Croydon took a half step to the door
• Use Ham's mysterious godstones to arrive from
of the conference room, then stopped.
"Very imelligent of you, Mr. Croydon," said
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Q. Do you have any other modules? I enclose a check or money order
Harry felt his neck. The skin was smooth ,
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H arry bent to retrieve the fallen chair. His
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am1s. Once seared, he buried his face in his A. More time to do what you want: role-playing.
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"Now, now, H arry,'' said Smith soothingly. " I Together we're a great team, but you'll still get
expiration date. Send all orders to the address
know it's quite a shock, but you see how impor- all the credit for running a great campaign!
below.
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VOLUME VI • NUMBER IV 69
The Bureaucrat
Still CroyJon didn'c rcsrxmd, except to shake inro the mirror. In my kmJ evil is very personal. tucked under che counter.
his head wich Jenial. "Do you imagine we sat qui- We cannot deny che devil walks with u every "I'm lefr co my own devices, by and large," I
erly in our mansion~ anJ chought nothing was seep of our lives, or wharever 'p1rirual metaphor said as we left che bagel shop. Dawn was some
amiss when, wi1h one explosive de\'ice, you wish co employ." He ,ropped for a momen1 co hours off. "You have adequace housingr'
Hiroshima was incinerated m a fla,h of hghc and assure himself Croydon was able to cons1Jer every Winters nodded. "Aie you happy here, aloner'
fire?" word. He mounted his motorcycle, inserted che key, and
Sm1ch grabbed Croydon\ face then as he med "Bur in your kind, enl 1> impersonal. &l many raised che stand.
m cum awa). Gnppc<l by hanc.Js char felt like steel, kind men and women, good men anJ women, yet
he coulc.1 <lo nothing bur look helple. ly on as I spied what appeared to be a sword rucked
chere is so much horror done! TI1ink of the chil-
Smirh conrinued. "Anc.1 you can't imagine work- alongside the seac. lnreresting, bur not rare
dren left co srarve, of che women bearen in so-
ing co prevent rhe horrors thar would be called domestic violence, of rhe yourh led to \'IO· among our kin. "I'm not entirely alone. I enrer-
unleasheJ 1f che legion-. of humamty became lence and death by che1r fascinamm w1Ch incox1- ram many visitors, such as yourself. Of course,
aware of what really sralb che night? You can'c?" cancs!" being withouc conscanr compan ions is irself acer-
Smith rele:h~I Croydon sucldenly, M> suddenly "Thar's nor me!" Croydon wh1,per«l tnto tain sadness."
char he fell hack into his chair with a lurch. Smith's face, only inche:. ,1way. "I don't do drug~ ... He didn't seem satisfied, which meant
Ahsently, CroyJon's hands fe lt his face where l don'c hurt people..." Winters knew who owned che srreers ac night in
Smich had held him. "You might chink yourself inmicent, bur you the capital. I shrugged. 'Tm willing to do che
"You're so... cold," he muuercd. ace as guilry as I! You cannor deny your kind doe:. work, year in, year out. 1 confine my game-play-
"Pay attention!" Smith said sh:irply. Croydon these things! Can you? Can you?" Smith shoutec.1 ing to chess. I am exceedingly discrete and norm
focused once again on Smith's foce. "lc's up co these last words. all territorial. And when I wish co be, I can be dif-
you, Harry. Frank Diller died. I le served well, for A cold sense of rruth crept into Croyclon. He ftcu lr co find. All these rhings combine co cam
more th:in forry years, kept ten presidencs safe, realized his hean was pounding. Croydon rurned my safery, if nothing else."
and now it's your turn to serve your country." away and wepr, his voice hreaking as he s1ruggled Winters nodded, and thum bed the engine ro
CroyJon rurned awt1y with a scowl. "Don't ro deny whac he knew co be rrue. life. As he pulled away, L waved casually before
pull chat pamm1c shit lln me, you ... thing," he Smith leaned back m his chair. TI1e Jecd was
making my way to bed, below ground and safo
said. Jone in all but several months worch of detai ls.
Smith sighed. Croydon noted for rhc first time Harold Croydon was his, :md hi' forever. from the sun. Winters was an ahle opponent, and
rhac ic was a Jeliherare effec1. When he wasn't ••• I had enjoyed our games immensely.
speaking, Smith was urccrly mlimmless. Winrcrs collecced the pieces and pur them It wa:. coo bad chere was so much sadness in
Croydon .h1vercJ Swear headed on his fore- away while he creased his brow. "So he\ your man the world, I choughr co myself. Neither Winters
head. ''I can'r," he "'11d, anJ repeated himself. in che government?" nor Croydon would sleep easily for years to come.
Smith l..>aned forward then, anglin)? his lxxly "One of many," I agreed. I settled in for a dreamless sleep, che easy rest of a
unnaturally and rushing h1., face into Croydon'i.. "And you're left unmole,te<l hercr' Winters hureaucrat secure in his position and his place in
"Open your eye" man," he h1 ..~'C!. "Look at me, a ked, handing O\'er che hoard, which Smith che world. Q;
ON THIS:
October 1997
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