The Land of Lost Stories

The Land of Lost Stories
By Kevin “Nalts” Nalty
Land of Lost Stories, FINAL Page 1

Royalty-Free Note
This approximately one-hour musical production was written for
community theater to be performed by children ages 11-15. It
includes characters and songs that are not owned or licensed by
the writer. The author is sharing only the derivative storyline
under the Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike
4.0 International license. The writer/owner of this story does
not have rights for characters or songs that are suggested here,
so if you perform this play you assume risk. Many of the
characters are public domain because their copyrights have
expired (original Wizard of Oz, Pinocchio, Peter Pam and other
Fairy Tales). But producers or directors should recognize that
using the songs and select characters can infringe on rights.
For the debut performance of this play, children selected their

own characters and completed a worksheet on the character with
such questions as: what was the original source of the character,
what is their motivation, what scares them, what lesson do they
need to learn? These worksheets were incorporated into the
script, so the actors and actresses shaped the story and their
character arcs.
Send me a note if you plan to perform this – I’d love to see it!
kevinnalty@gmail.com.
Plot Summary
Distracted by technology and pop culture, children today are
beginning to forget the most timeless story characters. When the
stories of these classic characters are no longer told, they are
discarded to the “Land of Lost Stories.” For the first time,
these beloved characters meet and interact with each other, and
some bottle while others bond.
There is hope for returning to the “hearts and minds” of
children, as long as the characters can overcome their
weaknesses, face their fears, and help each other. But now, the
island’s evil captors threaten to drag all the beloved characters
to the island’s hills, where they will be forgotten entirely.

SET
Except for the intro and ending (performed in front of the

curtain, the play takes place on an island. It’s a vibrant set
that includes a door for escape and an entrance that characters
enter via a slide. The slide is obscured by rocks (which we made
of paper machete and wire mesh). You can include a fog machine
and lights to create drama around the character exits as they’re
freed from island (and we played majestic music through the
entire sequence of departure).

CHARACTERS
The grandchildren of Mother Goose (Aspen and Bree as young kids,

and later teens). That means there are 20 cast members,
although you could add or subtract “Littles” (which are written
to include Harold, Fozzie, Flat Stanley and Humpty Dumpty). In
our version, adults played Mother Goose and Humpty Dumpty.
1. Mother Goose - Clar

2. Aspen (as young child and then teen)- CA
3. Bree (as young child and then teen)- Erika
4. Red (Little Red Riding Hood)- Nicole
5. Dorothy – Abigail
6. Glinda - Clar
7. Jack and the Beanstalk - Ansel
8. Goldilocks – Deza

SONGS
We found instrumental versions of these songs online, and some lyrics

are adapted. Be careful to ensure that you decide whether you’ll use
the Broadway or film versions of these songs. Almost all of the songs
have been truncated. Again, the rights to these songs are not owned by
the author of this play.
1. I Know Things Now (Into the Woods)

2. Watch Me Whip (or use a currently popular song)
3. No One is Alone (Into the Woods)
4. Happiest Home in these Hills (Pete’s Dragon).
5. Call Me a Princess (written for Aladdin but not used)
6. Stressed Out (21 Pilots)
7. Forget You (Cee Lo Green)
8. Change Your Story (Matilda)
9. Imagine (John Lennon)
10. Little People (Les Miserables)
11. Outside Looking In (Jordan Pruitt)
12. I Will Remember You (Sarah Mclachlan)
13. Alone in the Universe (Seussical)
14. Don’t You Forget About Me (Simple Minds)
PROP LIST
Basket for Red Riding Hood

Small cot and sheets for Aspen/Bree
Backpacks for teens
Jack: box, keys, gold coins

TABLE OF CONTENTS
Scene 1: Story Time at Grandmas ....................................................................................................................... 7

Scene 2: Eleven Years Later .................................................................................................................................. 7
Scene 3: Welcome to the Island ........................................................................................................................... 8
S2: I Know Things Now (Red) instrumental....................................................................................................................... 9
S3: Watch Me Whip (Little Guys) .......................................................................................................................... 10
Scene 4: Not Kansas ........................................................................................................................................11
S4: No One is Alone, Into Woods (Dorothy & Glinda)...............................................................................................12
S5: Happiest home in these Hills (Waldorf/Statler) ...................................................................................... 14
Scene 5: Prince and Princess ....................................................................................................................................14
S6: Call Me a Princess (Princess Andapee) ............................................................................................................... 15
Scene 6: Stressed Girls ...................................................................................................................................16
S7: Stressed Out (Goldilocks, red, bopeep, mermaid) ......................................................................................... 18
Scene 7: Town Hall Meeting (ALL CAST)...................................................................................................18
S8: Forget You (Waldorf/Statler) .......................................................................................................................... 19
Scene 8: Change Your Story ................................................................................................................................ 21
S9: Change Your Story (Peter Pan, with goldilock, Charming and Pinnocchio) instrumental .........22
Scene 9: Home or Not......................................................................................................................................23
S10: Imagine (Dorothy & Glinda) ...........................................................................................................................................24
Scene 10: What Little People Can Do.................................................................................................... 24
S11: Little People (Glinda, Bopeep, Mermaid, Dorothy with Stanley, HUMPTY, Fozzie, Harold)
................................................................................................................................................................................................25
Scene 11: In Our Own Bubbles ....................................................................................................................26
S12: Outside Looking In (Andapee/Glinda, Bopeep) ..................................................................................................26
Scene 12: Pinocchio and Tinkerbell ..........................................................................................................27
Scene 12.5: Little Guys Stand Strong .............................................................................................................. 28
Scene 13: Discovering Secrets ........................................................................................................................... 33
S13: I Will Remember You (Bopeep and Mermaid, Tigger) .......................................................................... 34
Scene 14: And Then There Were Two ............................................................................................................ 35
S14: Alone in the Universe (Red, Pooh)................................................................................................................ 36
Scene 15: Back to the Cabin ..........................................................................................................................37
Curtain Call ........................................................................................................................................................38
S15: Don’t You forget about me (All Cast) ....................................................................................................................38
S16: Watch Me Whip (CAST)............................................................................................................................................ 38

Scene 1: Story Time at Grandmas
(Front of curtain. A grandmother is sitting on a rocker,

reading a story to two small children in their bed on stage
left).
MOTHER GOOSE
“And sometimes, if you stand on the bottom rail of a bridge and lean
over to watch the river slipping slowly away beneath you,” said Pooh
to Tigger. “You will suddenly know everything there is to be known.“
ASPEN
You tell bestest stories of anyone I know, grandma.
BREE
Yes. One more story, please!

MOTHER GOOSE
Tomorrow, Aspen and Bree. It’s past your bedtime and there’s only one
more night until your parents return.
ASPEN
So our last story this summer is tomorrow night?
BREE
Then it had better be a very good one.
MOTHER GOOSE
It will. I promise. It will be the second best story ever told. Yes,
the second best story ever told, my little goslings.
ASPEN
What’s a gosling?
MOTHER GOOSE
A gosling is a child of a goose.
BREE
Then you’re a mother goose!
Kids laugh as the Mother Goose tucks them in, and lights drop.
MOTHER GOOSE
(sings in lullaby)
Day is done, gone the sun,
From the lake, from the hills, from the sky;
All is well, safely rest, God is nigh.
Scene 2: Eleven Years Later
(Front of curtain. Bree and Aspen are teenagers. They enter

from stage right with luggage.)
MOTHER GOOSE
Well there are my goslings! Hello, Bree. Hello Aspen. Look how you two
have grown.
Hi Mother Goose!

BREE ASPEN

Hey grandma.
MOTHER GOOSE
Rest your bags, dear. I have some lemonade, lemon drops, and new
stories to share with you when you get settled.
BREE
(Looking at phone)
Oh tonight? Well that’s nice, but...
ASPEN
(Laughing at text on phone, and shows it to Bree. Then
realizes Mother Goose is standing there).
Oh right. Bree and I are meeting some friends at the mall.
BREE
We’ll be back maybe at ten o’clock, but that’s past your bedtime,
right?
ASPEN
(Reads text).
Hey, Mason is outside. We’ll see you in the morning, okay?
Scene 3: Welcome to the Island
(Curtain opens to reveal a strange island. On the back of

stage left is a hole with a green slide poking out. On the
back of stage right is a small, closed door. Jack, from
Jack & The Beanstalk, falls down green slide onto stage.
JACK
Ouch! Holy cow that hurt worse than falling down my beanstalk. Where
the heck am I?
RED
(She’s weak and leaning against something for support)
How should I know? I’ve only been here for a few hours. Actually it
has maybe been a few days.
JACK
I first thought you were a talking harp. But you’re Tinkerbell, aren’t
you? Wow you’ve really let yourself go.
RED
Up your beanstalk, Jack. I can barely stand, and this place is
draining me. I can’t even remember how I got here.
JACK
Well it looks like you need some help.
(She reaches for him, but he walks away oblivious)
RED
Still stealing from giants, Jack?
What gave it away?
The gold in your pocket.

JACK
RED
JACK
Gold? I don’t have any gold. Well I gotta split. Tell Peter Pan hi.
(Jack first tries doorknob, shaking it vigorously. Then he
tries climbing back up green slide, but he can’t. His gold

coins spill down slide, and he scrambles to get them all
and tuck them back into his pockets, hoping Tinkerbell
doesn’t notice).
RED
That gold!
POEM
Jack, my dear, don’t you know that
Thieves are fools,
They're worse than ghouls,
Over jewellery they drool,
Stealing stuff with their tools.
You should've been smart,

safety is an art,
Oh, Jack, my dear before you steal
Make sure your deeds are totally
Concealed!
JACK
Right, you are Little Red! (sarcasm) Now, do you know how I can get
through that door or up that slide? I’d like to get as far away from
you as humanly possible.
RED
Sorry. You can’t get out. Only in. Nobody has ever left.People don’t
tell “Jack and the Beanstalk” stories anymore. So you’ve been forgotten
and tossed here.
That’s insane. You’re insane.

JACK
RED
We’ve all been forgotten. For example, Little Red Riding Hood was
always told to children. Now I’m here, stuck with you.
Scene 4: Not Kansas
(Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz tumbles down green slide)
DOROTHY
Okay this definitely isn’t Kansas either. Oh, nooooo.
(She looks around the empty island and is terrified).
(Glinda flips down slide. Looks flustered. Wipes dress.

Sees Dorothy and snaps into cheerful disposition).
GLINDA
Well, Dorothy Gale, you are a sight for sore eyes!
DOROTHY
Oh, Glinda. Thank goodness. What is this place?
GLINDA

I don’t know. I’m not even sure how we got here.
DOROTHY
I don’t see any flying monkeys. But look way over there (points past
audience). Is that a bear or a tiger?
Oh Dorothy, you look terrified.

GLINDA
DOROTHY
I am, Glinda. I’m scared. I want my Auntie Emm.
S4:Short story wizard of Oz
DORORTHY and glinda
(Jack and Red enter).
GLINDA
Oh hello, sweet little children.
JACK
Say, I know you guys. You’re Glinda the Good Witch and you’re Dorothy.
You were in Wizard of OZ.

RED
. More forgotten story characters. Wizard of Oz.
JACK
But RED, I don’t think people forgot about Dorothy’s story. I think
they decided it was too pitiful to tell. A girl on the adventure of her
lifetime and all she wants to do is go back to a barn.
DOROTHY
Why, are you a good witch or a bad witch?
RED
My little girl.... Good witches are bad witches who haven’t reached
their maximum potential.
JACK
And we make wicked witches look like Bambi and Flipper.
GLINDA
Oh rubbish you have no power here.
DOROTHY
Why, who are you two?
S5: MONOLOGUE JACK

Scene 6: Stressed Girls
(Red is yanking at door. Then she sits down by the slide

and peeks into her basket. Suddenly, Goldilocks slips
down the slide)
GOLDILOCKS
(After landing with her face on the ground)
This ground is too hard.
RED
(Looks suspiciously). Goldilocks? Is that you?
GOLDILOCKS
(To Red)
Hiya, girl in a red
coat.
RED
It’s a cloak! And it’s Little Red Riding Hood!
GOLDILOCKS
Golly! You’re the girl who got her grandma eaten by a wolf! Fancy living
in the woods.
RED
Did you runaway again?
GOLDILOCKS
No
(crosses her arms)
No, well…Yes
Well which one. Yes or no?

RED
GOLDILOCKS
RED
uh-huh GOLDILOCKS
I don’t know. Something in between.
RED
Sorry to hear that, Goldi.

GOLDILOCKS
Sorry? I’m not. My parents won’t let me do anything anymore. “Stay off
the computer, Goldilocks. Lay off the Grande lattes, Goldilocks. No
more breaking & entering bear houses, Goldilocks.”
What about you? Why are you here and not in the woods?

RED
I used to trust humanity.
GOLDILOCKS
I used to have parents who didn’t annoy and embarrass me.
S7: story telling (GOLDILOCKS, RED)
Scene 7: Town Hall Meeting (ALL CAST)
(The entire cast now on the island are talking and

panicking)
JACK
Your attention please. Quiet! Does anyone know why we called this town
hall meeting?
To send us all to the hills?

DOROTHY
GlINDA
To torture us with your fossil breath?

DOROTHY
Wait, I know why they called a meeting, everyone. They’re going to
send us all to the hills!
GLINDA
Maybe you summoned us to tell us why you’re stealing things from the
giants?
WALDORF
The only thing we’re stealing is you. From the hearts and minds of
children everywhere. Statler. The status, stat!
STATLER
We are ahead of plan, sir. Technology is winning. YouTube views rose
45% among 5-10 year olds. Dragon Quest and Fallout Shelter downloads
are going through the roof. Nobody has the time or attention for
stories.
WALDORF
Ah, the sweet triumph of vapid technology over tales of yore. By my
estimation, we are just 36 hours from dumping you all to the hills,
where you’ll be forgotten forever.
STATLER/WALDORF
(They cackle, each topping the other... Statler gives Waldorf a
playful punch. Waldorf punches back hard, and Statler stumbles).
S8: FORGET YOU (WALDORF/STATLER)
Walford
(four count)
You see your stories are dead To the boys and girls they all Forget You
Statler
Oo, oo, oooh!
Waldorf
They’d rather Snapchat or Facebook
Than read your dumb books s o they
Forget You

Both
And forget her too
Statler
Yeah I'm sorry. No I’m not sorry,
We think this fate is rather fair
Stop your chatter. Your tales don't matter.
The kids and parents just don’t care
Walford
You see your stories are dead To the boys and girls they all Forget
You

Statler
Oo, oo, oooh!
Waldorf
They’d rather Snapchat or Facebook
Than read your dumb books so they

Forget You
Both
And forget her too Oooh ooooh oooh

Scene 8: Change Your Story
Prince Charming and Dorothy are on stage

PRINCE CHARMING
So I says to him, “I don’t know. Why can't you give Elsa a balloon?”
And Kristoff says, “Because she will let it go.”
(Dorothy’s face turns from worried to a smile, and she covers her
mouth timidly to quietly laugh).
(WALDORF AND STATLER enter, chasing Bopeep and Tinkerbell.

Physical comedy ensues)
(Peter Pan slides onto stage, and the chasing stops abruptly...
Peter appears not to notice the four others, but then turns
swiftly swinging his sword).
PETER PAN
Step away or I’ll make a hook of your hand.
STATLER
Hoo, hoo, hoooo. Try it, man. I’ll bounce all over you and your little
green tights.
BOPEEP
(Pointing to Statler) That man is a bouncer.
Peter!

TINKERBELL
(Runs to him and protects him from Statler).

Backoff, grampa grizzle... this is Peter Pan.
WALDFORF
Oh bother. I’m feeling a rumbly in my tumbly. Let’s go have lunch,
Statler. Wait there was something else. Think, think, think. Oh, I
heard there’s a library closing in Doylestown.
STATLER
Let’s go burn some books! Tata for now.
(Waldorf and Statler exit)
(She starts to get dizzy. Faints into Peter’s arms).

PETER PAN
What’s the matter Tink?

DOROTHY
Her light is fading. Yours will too. You’re here because your story is
being forgotten. Those two old men are using iPhones and computers to
distract kids from storytelling.
PRINCE CHARMING
Don’t worry. They won’t prevail. I will save you, Tinkerbell. (To
audience): Everyone just clap your hands together and...

PRINCESS
Put a lid on it, Charming. That doesn’t work here.
(To Peter)
These guys seem quite happy, and I don’t want to offend them. But I
don’t like it here one bit.
PRINCE CHARMING
Don’t you realize you’re not the only one who doesn’t like it here.
You are as self-centered as Cinderella!
BOPEEP
Well my sheep like it just fine.
(Leans over to imaginary sheep and pets them).
(Pinocchio shoots down slide)
PINOCCHIO
I’m sorry. Did I get your slide dirty?
PETER PAN
Pinocchio, stop apologizing. Yes sir. Sorry.

PINOCCHIO PETER PAN
Nobody’s going to turn you into a wooden puppet again.
FOZZIE
Pokes on stage
He knows (points to nose). Get it? Nose!? Wocka wocka!
PETER PAN
What’s the matter with you people? Tink get up. You can’t sit around
and worry about some plot twist or tragic ending. It’s time to write
your own stories.
S9: CHANGE YOUR STORY (PETER PAN, WITH GOLDILOCK, CHARMING AND
PINNOCCHIO) INSTRUMENTAL
PETER
Jack and Jill, went up the hill To fetch a pail of water,
so they say
Their subsequent fall was inevitable
They never stood a chance, they were written that way
Innocent victims of their story
Like Romeo and Juliet T'was written in the stars before they even
met
That love and fate, and a touch of stupidity
Would rob them of their hope of living happily

The endings are often a little bit gory BORING
I wonder why they didn't just change their story?
We're told we have to do what we're told but surely Sometimes you
have to be a little bit naughty.
CHARMING
Just because you find that life's not fair It doesn't mean that you
just have to grin and bear it
If you always take it on the chin and wear it

Nothing will change.
GOLDILOCKS
Even if you're little, you can do a lot, you
Mustn't let a little thing like, 'little' stop you
If you sit around and let them get on top,
you might as well be saying You think that it's okay And that's not
right!
PETER
And if it’s not right... you have to put it right...
PINNOCHIO
Just because you find that life's not fair It doesn't mean that you
just have to grin and bear it

If you always take it on the chin and wear it
Nothing will change.
PETER
Even if you're little, you can do a lot, you
Mustn't let a little thing like,
'little' stop you
If you sit around and let them get on top,
you might as well be saying You think that it's okay And that's
not right!
And if it's not right! You have to put it right!
But nobody else is gonna put it right for me

nobody but me is gonna change my story
sometimes you have to be a little bit naughty
Lights out
Scene 9: Home or Not
(Dorothy and Glinda sit on stage, initially).

GLINDA
Dorothy, maybe Peter Pan was right about what he said.
DOROTHY
About me always running back home?
GLINDA
Look at your heels. They’re worn to a pulp.
(Gets up and walks to stage right)
DOROTHY
Apparently clicking three times doesn't work here.
GLINDA
I counted 312 clicks.
DOROTHY
I know I’m a bit obsessed about home. But it’s hard to stop looking
back.
(Glinda follows Dorothy to her mark)
GLINDA
Dorothy, it can be hard to see the road when you’re staring into the
rearview mirror.
DOROTHY
I know. But sometimes I don’t want to look ahead when I see these bad
places like a witches castle or this scary island. I want to go back
home.

GLINDA
Home is where your heart is, Dorothy
DOROTHY
Then I wish my heart were somewhere safe and kind. Somewhere without
witches, evil trees, or strange old codgers keeping me prisoner.
GLINDA
I know, Dorothy. And I’m sure there are new and wonderful places where
you can feel just as safe as home.
(The walk to center stage)
DOROTHY
Better places? What do you suppose they’re like?
S10: IMAGINE (DOROTHY & GLINDA)
Dorothy
Imagine there's no heaven It's easy if you try
No hell below us Above us only sky Imagine all the people Living
for today...
Glinda
Imagine there's no countries It isn't hard to do

Nothing to kill or die for And no religion too Imagine all the
people Living life in peace...
TOGETHER
You may say I'm a dreamer But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one
Scene 10: What Little People Can Do
Screams

(Immediately after song, Glinda and Dorothy are joined by Bopeep and
Mermaid. They hear Stanley scream from the back of the auditorium, then
the little guys run up to stage).
STANLEY
GLINDA
What’s the matter little guys?
HUMPTY
We found out who stole our stuff.
HAROLD
Jack stole everything!
FOZZIE
So we tried to get our things back.
GLINDA
What did Jack do?

STANLEY
He told us we were little runts.
HUMPTY
Man, we little people get no respect.
GLINDA
My dear children, you underestimate yourselves.

S11: LITTLE PEOPLE (GLINDA, BOPEEP, MERMAID, DOROTHY
WITH STANLEY, HUMPTY, FOZZIE, HAROLD)
GLINDA
Humpty you’ve got courage Fozzie you are a bear
BOPEEP
You don’t need to run
And hide when you are scared
MERMAID
Draw some courage Harold Stanley don’t scream DOROTHY
Jack has no chance
If you act like a team
HAROLD
And little people know When little people fight We may look easy
pickings But we’ve got some bite So never kick a dog Because
he's just a pup GIRLS
You’ll fight like twenty armies And you won't give up
So you'd better run for cover When the pup grows up!

GLINDA
A worm can roll a stone A bee can sting a bear
BOPEEP
A fly can fly around Versailles 'Cos flies don't care!
MERMAID
A sparrow in a hut Can make a happy home DOROTHY
A flea can bite the bottom Of the Pope in Rome!
LITTLES
And little people know When little people fight
We may look easy pickings but we got some bite!
So never kick a dog because he's just a pup
You better run for cover when the pup grows up!
GIRLS AND LITTLES

And we'll fight like twenty armies
And we won't give up
No break
HAROLD
(Wait for song to end and audience applause)
I bet we can take on those old men if we work together!
FOZZIE
Let’s do it fellas.
STANLEY
I’m tired of screaming and running away. I’m no doormap!
HUMPTY
And I’ve had it. People have been pushing me around my whole life
because I’m little.
We’ve got your back!

STANLEY
(Pats Humpty, who falls off stage)
FOZZIE

(pause for laughter)
Oh Humpty is fried. (Pause) What? Don’t crack up.... not a yolk.
Scene 11: In Our Own Bubbles
ANDAPEE
Everyone else is having a blast here on this depressing island, but
I’m quite ready to go back to my castle and sleep on a feathered
mattress.
GLINDA
Princess Andapee. Do you need a hug?
ANDAPEE
Get away from me, you crazy...
Glinda hugs Andapee. They both smile. Bopeep walks on.
ANDAPEE
Thanks. Nobody’s hugged me since I was about ten.
Bopeep hugs Andapee. Then Glinda. Then Andapee.
ANDAPEE
Bopeep, we already did our hug about 4 seconds ago, but thanks.
GLINDA
I don't normally hug. Usually when I start to get close to someone, I
end up floating away. It’s safe that way. I don’t get my heart broken.
ANDAPEE
I don’t have any real friends either. Most people just want to be my
friend because I have money.
GLINDA
Sounds isolating. Like when I float away, seeing the world from above.
Never quite...
Fitting in.
(late on cue).

ANDAPEE AND GLINDA BOPEEP
Fitting in. Wait do it again, I missed the cue.
S12: OUTSIDE LOOKING IN (ANDAPEE/GLINDA, BOPEEP)
You don't know my name

you don't know anything about me I try to play nice
I want to be in your game The things that you say
You may think I never hear about them
But word travels fast

I'm telling you to your face I'm standing here behind your back
[Chorus:]
You don't know how it feels To be outside the crowd
You don't know what it's like

To be left out
And you don't know how it feels To be your own best friend on the outside
looking in
If you could read my mind You might see more of me than meets the eye
And you've been all wrong Not who you think I am
You've never given me a chance

[Chorus:]
You don't know how it feels To be outside the crowd
You don't know what it's like To be left out
And you don't know how it feels To be your own best friend on the
outside looking in
Scene 12: Pinocchio and Tinkerbell
Tinkerbell enters from stage right (back entrance) and

drops her satchel of ferry dust. Pinocchio walks on behind
her and notices it.
PINOCCHIO
Miss, Bell. You dropped this, mam.
TINKERBELL
Thanks. Did you just call me Miss Bell? Say, what’s the matter with
you, Pinocchio?
Nothing. Why?

PINOCCHIO
TINKERBELL
You walk around like you’re scared of your own shadow.
PINOCCHIO
I guess I’m afraid someone’s going to turn me back into a puppet. Or a
donkey. Or toss me into a whale (pause). I’ve had a traumatic
childhood, okay?
TINKERBELL
Weren’t you listening to anything Peter Pan said? The things that
happened to you aren’t your story. They’re your his-story.
PINOCCHIO
His-tory? Well I suppose you’re right (pauses, smiles). So is Peter
your boyfriend?
TINKERBELL
Hah! No Peter Pan is a permanent bachelor. He’s like a big brother.
PINOCCHIO
(He’s beginning to get interested in Tink)
Well where’s your story going, Miss Bell?
TINKERBELL
Call me Tink. Common, I’ll tell you all about it. You want some Ferry
Dust?
PINOCCHIO
No thanks, Tink. I’m trying to quit.

Scene 12.5: Little Guys Stand Strong
(Jack is rooting through his collection of stolen goods. He

lifts out Red’s basket, but tucks it away when he hears the
little guys approaching. Little Guys, minus Humpty, enter).
JACK
Oh look, the Lollipop Guild is back.
HAROLD
Hi Jack. You’re giving us our stuff back!
JACK
Harold. Why don’t you draw yourself back to your beddy bye?
FOZZIE
Hey. You mess with Harold and you mess with me.
JACK
What?
FOZZIE
Say what again. Say what again!
HAROLD
Jack, you can’t keep pushing us around because we’re small.
JACK
Says who?

STANLEY
(screaming)
Says us! Now open that bag, take out our things, and SCRAM!
(Jack looks at each of the children. And returns their

things. He leaves. The kids celebrate with high fives).
FOZZIE
Oh no.
What’s the matter Fozzie?

HAROLD FOZZIE
I can’t believe I missed a really good one-liner.
HAROLD
What?
FOZZIE
Before Jack left. I could have said, “Hit the road, Jack.” Wocka
wocka.
(Nobody laughs)
FOZZIE
What’s Peter Pan’s favorite fast food restaurant? Wendys! Wocka!?
HAROLD
Fozzie, you don’t have to be funny for us to be your friend.
STANLEY
Yeah, Fozzie. Be yourself. We like you just the way you are.

(The little guys hug)
FOZZIE
Listen. DO you hear that? And look- the door is opening!
Humpty rap begins
Wait for me guys!

HUMPTY
Humpty! You’re okay? Humpty raps (pick a song)

HAROLD
HUMPTY FOZZIE
Well you landed sunny side up! Waka, waka, waka, wakaaaa!
(The Littles cheer as they exit)
Lights down, exit music).
MOTHER GOOSE
(On stage right, where she appears
during each exit from the island)
And at that moment, the four little guys overcame the fear that had
restrained them. Parents began to tell their story as a lesson in the
strength and unity.
Lights back
(Goldilocks and Glinda enter)
GLINDA
Are you okay, Goldilocks? Yes, I’m fine. I just... You miss your
family.
Of course I don’t, I, well...

GOLDILOCKS GLINDA GOLDILOCKS GLINDA
It’s okay, Goldilocks. Everyone misses home from time to time.
GOLDILOCKS
It’s that time now, Glinda. I miss my brother and my parents. Sure
they cramp my style and embarrass me sometimes, but they love me.
GLINDA
Look Goldilocks! The door has opened because you’re ready.
GOLDILOCKS
Glinda it’s open for you too. Won’t you come with me? I’ll take you to
get pizza with my friends from school. You’ll love them!
GLINDA
Oh, no... My bubble is boarding in a few...
GOLDILOCKS

Oh please. You’ve got to come to my town and the first thing we’re
going to do is buy you a dress that doesn’t make you look 90 years
old.
GLINDA
I look 90? What a compliment. I’m 110 years old!
(The two rush through the door, laughing).
MOTHER GOOSE
Goldilocks’ family embraced her again with open arms. Soon, moms and
dads began telling her story again. Goldilock learned that you can
always go home again. But it was Glinda who had never before felt so
“at home.”
Lights back
(Peter Pan, enters stage right. Tinkerbell & Pinocchio
enter stage left, holding hands).
PINOCCHIO
Thanks for everything, Peter. You were right about us needing to
sometimes choose our own ending.
TINKERBELL
And my new chapter has already started!
(She does a dance)
PETER PAN
So what’s next for you two?

PINOCCHIO
I’ve got a weekend getaway with an adorably little flying friend.
PETER PAN
Who? Jiminy Cricket?
PINOCCHIO
No that guy always makes me feel guilty. I’m going with Tinkerbell.
PETER PAN
Tinkerbell! That’s great! Where are you guys going?
PINOCCHIO
To a 5-star Bed and Breakfast in the Black Forest in Germany.
TINKERBELL
You can take the wood out of the boy, but can’t take the boy out of
the woods.
PETER PAN
Common I’ll give you two a lift!
Lights down, exit music plays.
MOTHER GOOSE
A year later, Peter Pan visited the home of Pinocchio and Tinkerbell.
He let out a crow when he met their new baby boy. “Did you name it
Peter,” he asked? “No,” they said. We named him Glow Stick.”
Lights back

(Dorothy walks in from stage right. Charming rushes in from
stage left).
CHARMING
Dorothy, haven’t you heard? We’re being remembered again? Everyone is
leaving.
DOROTHY
Not me. I’m finally adjusting. Home is where your heart is, and my
heart happens to be right here.
(She points to her heart).
CHARMING
I know it’s still a bit broken from my breakup with Cinderella. But my
heart is right here (points to his heart), and it would be honored to
get to know yours.
But where are you going?

DOROTHY
CHARMING
I’m starting a new chapter of my story. Come with?
DOROTHY
Well... yes. I’d like to see what lies ahead.
They rush through doors, hand in hand.

Lights down, exit music plays.
MOTHER GOOSE
A year later, Prince Charming’s second marriage was to a beautiful
bride from Kansas. They knew that “happy ever after” was impossible,
but that their choice to love would get them through difficult times.
Except for some munchkins, the rest of wedding had never seen a bride
escorted down the isle by a kind-hearted tin man, a brave lion and
very wise scarecrow.
Lights back
(Jack enters and is staring greedily at Red’s basket).
JACK
I can finally find out what’s in this thing. Whatever it is, Red
Riding Hood has been guarding it carefully so it must be...
(Andapee walks onto set, catching Jack)
ANDAPEE
Go ahead. Keep it. I won’t tell. But before you look inside, have you
thought about what that might do to Red Riding Hood?
JACK
What do you mean?

ANDAPEE
She’s wounded Jack. She doesn’t trust anyone. You’ll just make it
easier for her to decide the entire human race is corrupt.

JACK
If she wants it back, she can buy it back on eBay.
ANDAPEE
Jack, does it look like money has made me happy?
JACK
No.
ANDAPEE
That’s because it doesn't. You know what does make people happy?
JACK
No.

ANDAPEE
Helping others. It’s been proven in research.
(Mermaid, Bopeep and Red walk on stage)
MERMAID
Hi Princess and Jack. Has anyone seen Red’s basket?
ANDAPEE
I... I don’t know its exact location.
BOPEEP
Seems I’m not the only one around here who loses things.
MERMAID
I don’t think the basket was lost. I think someone stole it. Like
Jack!
RED
No, it’s my fault. I must have misplaced it. Don’t blame him.
JACK
Yes, Red. You should blame me. Here.
(Jack hands the basket to Red).
RED
Oh thank you! I can’t tell you what this means to me.
(She hugs Jack)
JACK
(to Andapee)
Okay you’re right. That felt uncomfortably good.
ANDAPEE
Why not come clean to the other two?
JACK
Wait, how did you know about them?
MERMAID
Princess, what do you mean ‘come clean to the other two’?
JACK
Princess Arial, Eric didn’t steal the things from your cove. Please
come back to my castle and I’ll return your whozits, whatzits and even
the 10 thingamabobs.
MERMAID
Wow! Thanks for your honesty. And I guess I’ve got some apologizing I
need to do to Eric!
And you, Bopeep.
You stole my sheep, didn’t you? How did you know?

JACK BOPEEP JACK

Because you’re full of sheep!

BOPEEP
ANDAPEE
The doors. Jack they’ve opened for you.
JACK
Here (hands keys to Mermaid and Bopeep). Come to my castle whenever
you’d like, and everything will be returned.
Hurry Jack. The door.

ANDAPEE
JACK
It’s open for you, too, Princess Andapee. You’ve reminded me that
there’s more to life than gold. We both have more than we need, and
there are a lot of people who need some help. Join me?
Lights down- exit music
MOTHER GOOSE
In the years that followed, Jack and Princess Andapee started a
scholarship for youth who were low-income and excelled at writing
stories. And that was a story just waiting to be told.
Scene 13: Discovering Secrets
(Mermaid is sitting with Bopeep and they’re playing with their keys)
MERMAID
I guess I owe Eric an apology.
BOPEEP
I’m sure he’ll forgive you. He loves you, Arial.
STATLER
You two. Where has everyone gone! Waldorf is furious. He sent me to
escort you two to the hills. Hoo hoo hooo!
BOPEEP
Wait a second. You just said “hoo hoo hooo.” That reminds me of
someone from a story I read with my mom.
MERMAID
Bopeep, did you just say “remember”?
BOPEEP
Oh my. I did, Arial. I don’t remember ever saying that. Anyway,
Statler earlier said “ridick-orous.” And “tata for now.”
STATLER
Quiet! I don’t know what you’re talking about.
BOPEEP
You’re not a mean old man. You’re Tigger from “Winnie the Pooh.”
STATLER

(Removes his suit and reveals stripes. Pulls out a tale.
Covers his head with his ears and places a red nose on his
face)
MERMAID
Tigger, you were tossed to this island just like us. And then you
decided that misery likes company.
STATLER/TIGGER
I’m sorry. I just wanted to stay in the “hearts and minds” of children
everywhere. But they didn’t care about me...
(Door signals it’s opening. Music plays)
STATLER/TIGGER
Come on, girls! I’ll help you fetch your things at Prince Charming’s
castle, and I’ll be back to the 100-acre woods north of Doylestown
before supper. Fun, fun, fun, fun, funnnn!
BOPEEP
After that, I’m taking my sheep to a safer place. Wouldn’t ewe?
TIGGER
What?
You “hurd” me.

BOPEEP MERMAID
And I’m going back to Eric. I miss him dearly.
TIGGER
Well I’ll miss you and all of these Lost Story characters. But you’ll
be in my Tigger heart, and a Tigger heart is a wonderful place to live
because there’s room for everyone.
S13: I WILL REMEMBER YOU (BOPEEP AND MERMAID, TIGGER)
BOPEEP
I will remember you Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by Weep not for the memories
(Pause here) Bopeep/Mermaid
I'm so tired but I can't sleep Standin' on the edge of something much
too deep

It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word
We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard

ALL
(Tigger, Bopeep and Mermaid exits...

MOTHER GOOSE
Bopeep was reunited with her sheep. The little Mermaid was reunited
with Eric, and he suggested they spend the summer with his inlaws in

the sea. So they both grew tails and plunged into the sea one sunset.
Meanwhile, Tigger was greeted by Kanga, who wasn’t the least bit
annoyed by him. Even Eyor gave Tigger a big hug, and for the first
time anyone recalled, he revealed a great big smile.
Scene 14: And Then There Were Two
(Waldorf is sitting on the slide looking miserable. Maybe

humming “Cellophane.” Red walks in from stage right).
WALDORF
The door is right there. Why don’t you split? Everyone else has.
(Red jiggles door... it’s locked)
WALDORF
No luck? Didn’t open for me either.
Well I shouldn’t be surprised. What do you mean?

RED WALDORF
RED
Don’t you see? We’re not just freed because people remember us. We’re
remembered because we’re freed... free of something that’s holding us
back. Free of something that makes us a bad example to kids.
WALDORF
What’s holding you back?
RED
What’s holding me back? I don’t know. I guess ever since a mean wolf
manipulated me, I’ve had some trust issues. Who wouldn’t?
WALDORF
Well think it over. And think it under.
(Red approaches Waldorf and holds his face, staring into

his eyes).
RED
I can’t believe I didn’t see it earlier.
WALDORF
See what?

RED
You’re a mean old man on the outside. But there’s more to you. I know
it.
WALDORF
(Getting nervous)
Oh, bother. There’s nothing more to me than what you see.
RED
There’s something kind and simple and pure about you.
(Waldorf looks hopeful... waiting to come clean).
RED

You’re Winnie the Pooh!
(He is choked up. He removes his suit, and we see his

orange fir. He slips on his ears).
RED
And I believe you’re ready to leave behind this scary island. I’ll bet
there’s a stuttering little pig who needs you right now.
POOH
Red Riding Hood. I’m sorry. Tigger and I were two of the first
characters to be banished here. It made us embarrassed, and then we
got angry. So we hid our identity (song starts) and started telling
people we were the ones responsible for keeping you here. Now I’m
discovering there’s a way out. And I’m ready to fly right out of here
and back to my forest. How about you?
S14: ALONE IN THE UNIVERSE (RED, POOH)
Winnie:
I'm alone in the universe. So alone in the universe.
I've found magic but they don't see it
They all call me a lunatic. Ok, call me a lunatic.
If I stand on my own, so be it.
Both
'Cause I have wings. Yes, I can fly Around the moon
And far beyond the sky And one day soon
I know there you'll be
One small voice in the universe One true friend in the universe Who
believes in me...
Red
I'm alone in the universe. So alone in the universe. My own planets
and stars Are glowing.
Winnie
Alone in the universe

Red
No one notices anything.
Not one person is listening. They don't have any way of knowing.
Winnie
Nobody knows that
Both
I have wings I have wings. Yes, I can fly I can fly
Around the moon And far
Beyond the sky Beyond the sky Well someday soon
You will hear my plea
Winnie
One small voice in the universe
Red
One true friend in the universe
Both
Please believe in me ...
Lights down, exit music...

MOTHER GOOSE
Piglet was the first to see Pooh entering the forest. “P-p-p-p-Pooh
Bear it’s you,” he shouted, then continued. “Pooh, Tigger just
returned, and he smells good for once.” “And why is that, Piglet,”

asked Pooh. Piglet replied, “It’s the first time he’s gone a whole
week without playing with Pooh.” And Pooh laughed and put his arm
around his nervous little friend. Meanwhile, parents across the globe
began again telling the story of Little Red Riding Hood. She was once
naïve, but when her trust was violated, her heart closed. But like
most characters of our favorite stories, she grew and taught us
something. Red still keeps here eyes wide open, but now so to is her
heart.
Lights out, scene change
Scene 15: Back to the Cabin
MOTHER GOOSE (reading story)

“And then Pooh joined Tigger sitting on their favorite log by their
favorite river in the 100-acre woods just north of Doylestown. After a
few quiet moments passed by, Tigger said to Pooh, “If you live to be a
hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have
to live a day without you.” Pooh reflected on this for a moment. Then
he said back, “If there ever comes a day when we can’t be together
keep me in your heart, and I’ll stay there forever.“
ASPEN
That was a great story grandmother!
BREE
I knew the whole time that those mean old men were Winnie-the-Pooh and
Tigger.
You did not!

ASPEN
BREE
I liked the whole story except for one part.
MOTHER GOOSE
And what was that, dear Bree?

BREE
When you made Aspen and me teenagers who didn’t want to hear your
stories.
ASPEN
Yes. We’ll always love your stories, Grandmother Goose.
MOTHER GOOSE
I bet you will. But if you do outgrow them for a short time, be sure
first to pass them along to your children.
ASPEN
I do have a question, Mother Goose. What was in Red’s basket?
BREE
And I have a question. You told us that would be the 2nd best story
ever. So what’s the best story ever?
MOTHER GOOSE
Well those are very good questions. Are there any parents out there?
Raise your hands. So, what was in Red’s basket? Shhhh. Don’t tell us
right now. Your children will want to know, and I’ll bet you can
imagine and tell a fascinating tale that has the answer.

And that story may be the best one ever told.
The End.
Curtain Call
S15: DON’T YOU FORGET ABOUT ME (ALL CAST)

S16: WATCH ME WHIP (CAST)

The Land of Lost Stories

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The Land of Lost Stories

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The Land of Lost Stories

By Kevin “Nalts” Nalty

Land of Lost Stories, FINAL Page 1

For the debut performance of this play, children selected their

Land of Lost Stories, FINAL Page 2

Except for the intro and ending (performed in front of the

Land of Lost Stories, FINAL Page 3

The grandchildren of Mother Goose (Aspen and Bree as young kids,

1. Mother Goose - Clar

Land of Lost Stories, FINAL Page 4

We found instrumental versions of these songs online, and some lyrics

1. I Know Things Now (Into the Woods)

Basket for Red Riding Hood

Land of Lost Stories, FINAL Page 5

Scene 1: Story Time at Grandmas ....................................................................................................................... 7

Land of Lost Stories, FINAL Page 6

(Front of curtain. A grandmother is sitting on a rocker,

Land of Lost Stories, FINAL Page 7

Scene 2: Eleven Years Later

(Front of curtain. Bree and Aspen are teenagers. They enter

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Scene 3: Welcome to the Island

(Curtain opens to reveal a strange island. On the back of

What gave it away?

The gold in your pocket.

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You should've been smart,

That’s insane. You’re insane.

Land of Lost Stories, FINAL Page 12

Scene 4: Not Kansas

(Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz tumbles down green slide)

(She looks around the empty island and is terrified).

(Glinda flips down slide. Looks flustered. Wipes dress.

Land of Lost Stories, FINAL Page 13

Oh Dorothy, you look terrified.

Land of Lost Stories, FINAL Page 14

(Jack and Red enter).

Land of Lost Stories, FINAL Page 15

S5: MONOLOGUE JACK

Land of Lost Stories, FINAL Page 16

(Red is yanking at door. Then she sits down by the slide

(crosses her arms)

Well which one. Yes or no?

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Scene 7: Town Hall Meeting (ALL CAST)

(The entire cast now on the island are talking and

To send us all to the hills?

Land of Lost Stories, FINAL Page 20

To torture us with your fossil breath?

Land of Lost Stories, FINAL Page 21

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Prince Charming and Dorothy are on stage

(WALDORF AND STATLER enter, chasing Bopeep and Tinkerbell.

Land of Lost Stories, FINAL Page 25

(Runs to him and protects him from Statler).

(She starts to get dizzy. Faints into Peter’s arms).

Land of Lost Stories, FINAL Page 26