Domestic Abuse Signs

Domestic violence is present in almost every society of the world. The term can be
classified on various bases. Violence against spouse, children or elderly is few of some
commonly encountered cases. It is a prototype of sadistic actions exemplified by the intention to
acquire or sustain authority and domination over an intimate partner or other family members.
Domestic violence and emotional abuse are behaviours used by one person in a relationship to
control the other. It is a global issue reaching across national boundaries as well as socio-
economic, cultural, racial and class distinctions. It is a problem without frontiers. Not only is the
problem widely dispersed geographically, but its incidence is also extensive, making it a typical
and accepted behaviour. Domestic violence is not only a problem of the developing or under
developed countries. It is very much prevalent in developed countries also. It reflects our pseudo-
civilized society. There is no place of violence in the civilized world. But the number of cases
that are reported every year raise a high alarm. And this is not the complete picture, as; most of
the cases go unregistered or unnoticed in everyday life. This is a very dangerous trend creeping
in our society and must be dealt with iron hands.
It is not always easy to identify if someone is experiencing domestic violence or is in an
abusive relationship. In fact, many abusive partners may seem perfect in the early stages of a
relationship. Possessive and controlling behaviours don’t always appear immediately, but rather
emerge and intensify as the relationship grows. Thus, you need to acknowledge the reality of the
abusive situation. The best thing a victim of domestic violence can do for themselves is to
recognize the signs and get help. Victims of an abusive relationship may experience some of the
following emotions and behaviours:
. Agitation, anxiety and chronic apprehension
. Constant state of alertness that makes it difficult for them to relax or sleep
. A sense of hopelessness, helplessness or despair because the victim believes they will
never escape the control of their abuser
. Fear that one cannot protect oneself or one’s children. This person will turn down the
assistance offered by relatives, friends or professionals.
. Feeling paralyzed by fear to make decisions or protect oneself
. A belief that one deserves the abuse
¸A belief that one is responsible for the abuse
¸Flashbacks, recurrent thoughts and memories of the violence and nightmares of the
violence
. Emotional reactions to reminders of domestic violence.
 Victims of domestic violence can also have physical symptoms that aren’t directly caused
by physical abuse. These symptoms are instead caused by the constant stress and tension of
living in an abusive relationship. These symptoms include: headaches, asthma, gastrointestinal
symptoms, chronic pain, restless sleep or inability to sleep and back pain.
Despite what many people believe, domestic violence and abuse is not due to the abuser’s
loss of control over their behaviour. In fact, abusive behaviour and violence is a deliberate choice
made by the abuser to control you. Abusers use a variety of tactics to manipulate you and exert
their power, including:
Dominance – Abusive individuals need to feel in charge of the relationship. They will
make decisions for you and the family, tell you what to do, and expect you to obey without
question. Your abuser may treat you like a servant, child, or even as their possession.
Humiliation – An abuser will do everything they can to make you feel bad about
yourself or defective in some way. After all, if you believe you're worthless and that no one else
will want you, you're less likely to leave. Insults, name-calling, shaming, and public put-downs
are all weapons of abuse designed to erode your self-esteem and make you feel powerless.
Isolation – To increase your dependence on them, an abusive partner will cut you off
from the outside world. They may keep you from seeing family or friends, or even prevent you
from going to work or school. You may have to ask permission to do anything, go anywhere, or
see anyone.
Threats – Abusers commonly use threats to keep their partners from leaving or to scare
them into dropping charges. Your abuser may threaten to hurt or kill you, your children, other
family members, or even pets. They may also threaten to commit suicide, file false charges
against you, or report you to child services.
Intimidation – Your abuser may use a variety of intimidation tactics designed to scare
you into submission. Such tactics include making threatening looks or gestures, smashing things
in front of you, destroying property, hurting your pets, or putting weapons on display. The clear
message is that if you don't obey, there will be violent consequences.
Denial and blame – Abusers are very good at making excuses for the inexcusable. They
will blame their abusive and violent behaviour on a bad childhood, a bad day, or even on you and
the kids, the victims of their abuse. Your abusive partner may minimize the abuse or deny that it
occurred. They will commonly shift the responsibility on to you: Somehow, their violent and
abusive behaviour is your fault.
Domestic violence must be perceived as a socio-economical problem rather than a private
issue imbedded within family -- a domestic issue which can be easily ignored. It must receive
appropriate attention from the various institutions within our society as an issue affecting the
overall standard of living. It is not only an individual's issue, but also a problem that threatens the
harmony within our communities.
Government has also made and enforced domestic violence act. Law gives an effective
shelter and deals strictly with the culprits. But making a law is not sufficient. People will have to
awake and arise. They must be told about their rights and duties. Every person deserves the basic
honour and respect. No one is entitled to take law in his hands. Besides, the law enforcement,
domestic violence has deeper roots. It is the mentality of the society that covets an overhauling.
Society is in-turn nothing but the constitution of individuals. Every individual should make the
necessary amendments and the society will change. It is the high time to raise voice against the
injustice happening to self and others. Domestic violence has no place in the modern society and
should be strongly dealt with.