COURTSHIP in the Philippines practices:

 singing romantic love songs

 reciting poems
 writing letters
 gift-giving.

Beliefs :

Traditional:

 Paninilbihan – doing household chores is believed to be a way to win the girls heart.
 Panunuyo – the man giving gifts to the girl and her family is also believed to be a way
to win the girls heart.
 Chaperone – there should be a family member that will accompany the girl when
meeting with the guy outside the house.

Modern:

 Meeting the family members before meeting the girl is no longer needed.
 Harana is no longer practiced. Instead, they text and chat each other often.

Customs:

1. a Filipino male suitor expresses his interest to a woman in a discreet and friendly
manner in order to avoid being perceived as very "presumptuous or aggressive" or
arrogant.
2. Culturally, another gentlemanly way of seeking the attention of a woman is not to be
done by the admirer by approaching her in the street to casually ask for her address or
telephone number.
3. Traditionally, a Filipino woman is "shy and secretive" about her feelings for a suitor.
4. On the other hand, the Filipino man fears rejection by a woman and would like to
avoid losing face and embarrassment.
5. "Fan language"
 a courted woman covering half of her face would like her suitor to follow her;
 counting the ribs of the folding fan sends out a message that the lady would like to
have a conversation with her admirer;
 holding the fan using the right hand would mean the woman is willing to have a
boyfriend,
 while carrying the fan with the left hand signifies that she already has a lover and
thus no longer available;
 fanning vigorously symbolizes that the lady has deep feelings for a gentleman,
while fanning slowly tells that the woman courted does not have any feelings for
the suitor;
 putting the fan aside signals that the lady does not want to be wooed by the man;
and
  the abrupt closing of a fan means the woman dislikes the man.

Courtship traditions in different regions of the Philippines

 Ilocanos - In the island of Luzon, the Ilocanos also perform serenading, known to
them as tapat (literally, "to be in front of" the home of the courted woman), which is
similar to the harana[4] and also to the balagtasan of the Tagalogs. The suitor begins
singing a romantic song, then the courted lady responds by singing too. In reality,
Harana is a musical exchange of messages which can be about waiting or loving or
just saying no. The suitor initiates, the lady responds. As the Pamamaalam stage sets
in, the suitor sings one last song and the haranistas disappear in the night.
 Luzon region - Rooster courtship, in this type of courtship, the rooster is assigned that
task of being a "middleman", a "negotiator", or a "go-between", wherein the male
chicken is left to stay in the home of the courted to crow every single morning for the
admired lady's family.
 Bulaqueños - Naninilong (from the Tagalog word silong or "basement"). At midnight,
the suitor goes beneath the nipa hut, a house that is elevated by bamboo poles, then
prickles the admired woman by using a pointed object. Once the prickling caught the
attention of the sleeping lady, the couple would be conversing in whispers.
 Ifugao - Ca-i-sing (this practice is known as the ebgan to the Kalinga tribes and as
pangis to the Tingguian tribes), wherein males and females are separated into
"houses". The house for the Filipino males is called the Ato, while the house for
Filipino females is known as the olog or agamang. The males visit the females in the
olog – the "betrothal house" – to sing romantic songs. The females reply to these
songs also through singing. The ongoing courtship ritual is overseen by a married
elder or a childless widow who keeps the parents of the participating males and
females well informed of the progress of the courtship process.
 Batangueños - has a peculiar tradition performed on the eve of the wedding. A
procession, composed of the groom's mother, father, relatives, godfathers,
godmothers, bridesmaids, and groomsmen, occurs. Their purpose is to bring the
cooking ingredients for the celebration to the bride's home, where refreshments await
them.When they are in the half process of the courtship, they are forced to make a
baby.
 Pangasinense - utilizes the Taga-amo, which literally means "tamer", a form of love
potions or charms which can be rubbed to the skin of the admired. It can also be in the
form of drinkable potions. The suitor may also resort to the use of palabas, meaning
show or drama, wherein the Filipino woman succumbs to revealing her love to her
suitor, who at one time will pretend or act as if he will be committing suicide if the
lady does not divulge her true feelings.
 Apayao - allow the practice of sleeping together during the night. This is known as
liberal courtship or mahal-alay in the vernacular. This form of courting assists in
assessing the woman's feeling for her lover.
 Palaweños - perform courtship through the use of love riddles. This is known as the
pasaguli. The purpose of the love riddles is to assess the sentiments of the parents of
 both suitor and admirer. After this "riddle courtship", the discussion proceeds to the
pabalic (can also be spelled as pabalik), to settle the price or form of the dowry that
will be received by the courted woman from the courting man.
 Cebuanos - also resort to serenading, which is known locally as balak. They also write
love letters that are sent via a trusted friend or a relative of the courted woman.
Presents are not only given to the woman being courted, but also to her relatives.
Similar to the practice in the Pangasinan region, as mentioned above, the Cebuanos
also use love potions to win the affection of the Filipino woman.
 Leyte - performs the pangagad or paninilbihan or "servitude", instead of paying a
form of dowry during the courtship period. In this form of courting, the Filipino suitor
accomplishes household and farm chores for the family of the Filipino woman. The
service normally lasts for approximately a year before the man and woman can get
married.The Tagalogs of Luzon also refers to this courtship custom as paninilbihan
meaning "being of service", but is also referred to as subok meaning a trial or test
period for the serving suitor. The Bicolanos of Luzon's Bicol region, call this custom
as the pamianan.
 Tausug - Reckless courtship, known in the vernacular as palabas, sarakahan tupul, or
magpasumbahi, is practiced by the Tausog people of Mindanao. Similar to the palabas
version practiced in Luzon island, a suitor would threaten to stab his heart while in
front of the courted woman's father. If the father of the woman refuses to give his
daughter's hand to the suitor, the suitor is smitten by a knife.
 Bagobo - sends a knife or a spear as a gift to the home of the courted woman for
inspection. Accepting the weapon is equivalent to accepting the Filipino man's
romantic intention and advances

Terms in courtship in the Philippines

 Tuksuhan lang (just teasing) is the usual term associated with pairing off potential
couples in Filipino culture.
 Basted (from English busted) is the Tagalog slang for someone who fails to reach
'first base' in courting a girl because she does not have any feelings for him to begin
with.
 To call a man torpe means he does not know how to court a girl, is playing innocent,
or does not know she also has an affection for him.

To "make bola," a patent and peculiar English Tagalog statement, derives from
Tagalog: e.g. Binobola mo lang ako, which implies saying untruths but in such a
charming manner that what the speaker says appear to be true. It's related to "binibilog
ang ulo," literally making a head round -- bola (ball) and bilog (circle) have the same
shape round. It remotely recalls "drawing circles" around someone.