Cozette Ming

Sister Nelson

FCS160-01

11 December 2019

Summation Paper Final

In chapter 7 of the Goldsmith textbook, there was an explanation of monologue and

dialogue and the differences between them. In my personal experience, people have a tendency

to give monologues when they are trying to explain something important, which does the exact

opposite of what we hope it will. People pay more attention to conversations that they are a part

of, namely dialogues. I realized from this section in chapter 7 that when I think something is

important, I have a tendency to rant about it, and most people won’t listen to me. I need to work

on having conversations with others about those things so that they understand the importance of

them as well. I think that this really relates to the habit in the Covey Guidebook that instructs us

to seek first to understand and then to be understood. I have a tendency to seek first to be

understood, especially when it is a topic that I think is important and cannot wait. However, I

need to listen first and have conversations with others so that I understand the things that are

important to them before I demand that they hear out what is important to me.

I also thought that the section in chapter 7 on “I-messages” and “you-messages” was

extremely important. The textbook explains that “I-messages” focus primarily on the things that

the speaker feels or thinks so that the statements are fact and cannot be misinterpreted as

accusations. On the other hand, “you-messages” are very accusatory and focus primarily on the

things that the other person does that you dislike or disapprove of. I think that this also relates to
the habit of beginning with the end in mind. It is essential to remember what is the most

important and have an eternal perspective when talking to others. This will help to prevent using

words that may hurt other people and damage your relationships, namely “you-messages”

instead of “I-messages.”

In Goldsmith chapter 11, there was a lot of discussion about college students and

stressors in college. According to the text, most of the stress in college comes not from

academics, but from relationships and emotional problems. College students often have their

priorities mixed up and focus on the things that are not really important. This then greatly

contributes to their stress because they feel overwhelmed by the excessive amount of schoolwork

that they leave until the last minute. I think that this relates to the habit in the Covey Guidebook

that recommends that we put first things first. As college students, we need to put the most

important things first so that we have enough room in our schedules to fit in everything we want

and need to do. The Covey Guidebook gives the analogy of putting the big rocks first. When we

do the most important things first, we can get all of the important things done and still have time

to do fun things and enjoy leisure time. These sections were all about prioritizing so that

everything important can get done in a timely manner.

I also liked the section in chapter 12 of the Goldsmith textbook that talked about

environmental stewardship and conservation of certain natural resources. I thought that the

section on ways to reduce household water use was interesting and important. Reducing the

amount of water in our houses is an easy way to save water and reduce the cost of water for your

household. This also is a way to exercise environmental stewardship without needing to go out

and do something drastic to save the whales. I think that this relates to the habit from the Covey
Guidebook that advises us to think win-win. If we are respectful of the environment and the

resources that we use, we are really creating a situation in which everyone wins.

Citations

Covey, F. ​Introduction to the 7 Habits® of Highly Effective College Students: Guidebook​.

FranklinCovey, 2006.

Goldsmith, E. B. (2013). ​Resource Management for Individuals and Families​. Boston: Pearson.