WEEKEND UPDATE SCRIPT

(UPDATED)

COREY: GOOD EVENING EVERYONE

NICK: WELCOME TO SEMESTER UPDATE. I’M NICK STAGER…
COREY: AND I’M COREY FRIES

COREY: A HORSE FARM HAS RECENTLY OPENED UP. THE HIGH SCHOOL PLANS TO TAKE
FULL ADVANTAGE, AND MAKE EVEN MORE “HAMBURGERS”.

NICK: IN AN ATTEMPT TO STOP JUULING, THE SCHOOL ADDED STALLS AND TOILETS TO THE
JUUL ROOM OVER THE SUMMER. AT LEAST NOW KIDS CAN SIT DOWN AND RELAX WHEN
THEY TAKE A JUUL BREAK.

COREY: BURG FOOTBALL IS LOOKING FOR A NEW COACH AFTER THE ABRUPT
RESIGNATION OF SUPER COACH AND MUSTACHE MODEL STEVE CHANNEL *PULL PICTURE
OF HIM*

NICK: AFTER SEARCHING WE FOUND HIM LIVING AT 24 HOUR FITNESS, PLEASE WELCOME
STEVE!

JAYDEN ENTERS

JAYDEN: PLEASE HOLD YOUR APPLAUSE

NICK: NO ONE IS CLAPPING STEVE…

JAYDEN: PLEASE CALL ME COACH

NICK: UMM OK COACH

COREY: SO COACH WHAT’S IT LIKE HAVING ALL OF THIS EXTRA TIME TO YOURSELF
JAYDEN: IT’S GREAT I CAN DO PUSH UPS WHENEVER I WANT.

NICK: COACH I’VE BEEN MEANING TO ASK YOU WHAT IS ON YOUR HANDS?

*JAYDEN STANDS UP RIPS HIS SHIRT OFF AND YELLS WINNING IS HARD, I DIDN’T WANT
TO LEAVE*

COREY: STEVE CHANELL EVERYONE!

NICK: AFTER 16 YEARS AS HEAD PRINCIPAL, MR. MORRIS HAS DECIDED TO RETIRE, TO
TAKE HIS PLACE IS NEW PRINCIPAL MR. BLACK. THERE IS ALREADY CONFUSION AS
STUDENTS DIDN’T COME TO SCHOOL ON MONDAY BECAUSE MR. BLACK DID NOT SAY SEE
YOU NEXT “MONDEE”

COREY: THE HOLE IN THE COMMONS HAS YET TO BE REPAIRED. THESE REPAIRS HAVE BEEN
HALTED BY MR. FRIES, WHO USES THIS AS AN ESCAPE FROM HIS INTRO TO TV CLASSES.

NICK: TO CELEBRATE DR. VALE’S 7TH YEAR AS SUPERINTENDENT OF THE DISTRICT. THE
SCHOOL PLANNED TO THROW A PARTY FOR HIM, BUT VALE DELAYED IT DUE TO COLD
WEATHER.

COREY: THIS PAST CHRISTMAS EVERY STUDENT SEEMED TO HAVE RECEIVED A PAIR OF
APPLE AIRPODS. *PULL UP PICTURE* HERE TO EXPLAIN THE HYPE ABOUT THEM IS ETHAN
COLE.

ETHAN ENTERS

ETHAN: HELLO COREY .... NICK

COREY: HELLO ETHAN, SO WHY DID YOU WANT AIRPODS FOR CHRISTMAS

ETHAN: HONESTLY EVERYONE WANTS THEM TO LISTEN TO MUSIC AND NOT WORRY
ABOUT THE ANNOYING CORDS BUT I WANTED THEM FOR THE “ LIVE LISTEN” FEATURE
NICK: LIVE LISTEN? THIS SOUNDS SUSPECT.

ETHAN: IT’S NOT, IT’S JUST LIKE THE FBI

NICK: SO WHAT IS THIS FEATURE?

ETHAN: SO IN CLASS I PUT MY AIRPODS IN TURN ON THE FEATURE WHICH USES THE
PHONE AS A MIC AND I CAN HEAR ANYONE TALKING WHILE THEY THINK IM LISTENING TO
MUSIC. SO IN CLASS I DO THIS AND LISTEN TO THE GIRLS NEXT TO ME TALK ABOUT HOW
WEIRD I AM. IT’S GREAT THEY HAVE NO IDEA THAT I’M LISTENING.

COREY: AND NOW FOR A SPECIAL GUEST, MY BEAUTIFUL GIRLFRIEND, SYDNEY BRUNS!

SYDNEY ENTERS COUGHING

COREY: WOW, YOU LOOK HORRIBLE!

SYDNEY: I’M NOT FEELING WELL TODAY

COREY: YOU SHOULD GO SEE THE NURSE AND REST. YOU NEED IT.

SYDNEY: WAIT, WE HAVE A NURSE?

NICK: YES, YOU SHOULD GO SEE HER AND GET AWAY FROM US. SYDNEY BRUNS EVERYONE!

*SYDNEY LEAVES, STILL COUGHING*

NICK: NOW TO TALK ABOUT WHY YOUR AWESOME, OLIVIA FOGLE

OLIVIA ENTERS
LIV: THANKS FOR HAVING ME

NICK: SO OLIVIA, WHAT IS A WHY YOUR AWESOME?

LIV: IT'S AN AWARD THAT'S SUPPOSED TO RECOGNIZE GOOD STUDENTS, BUT IT SEEMS
LIKE THE BAD STUDENTS ALWAYS GET IT.

NICK: WHY IS THAT?

LIV: PROBABLY BECAUSE GOOD STUDENTS ARE HELD TO A MUCH HIGHER STANDARD
THAN OTHER STUDENTS. THEY ARE EXPECTED TO DO GOOD THINGS WITHOUT AN AWARD.

NICK: HAVE YOU GOTTEN THE AWARD?

LIV: I HAVE GOTTEN SEVERAL.

NICK: WHY DID YOU GET ONE?

LIV: I THREW A PENCIL AT A GIRL BECAUSE SHE WAS BEING REALLY ANNOYING. I WENT TO
GET MY PENCIL BACK AND APOLOGIZED TO THE GIRL, EVEN THOUGH SHE REALLY
DESERVED IT. THE TEACHER HEARD ME AND GAVE ME A WHY YOUR AWESOME. NOW I DO
IT ALL THE TIME AND GET FREE STUFF.

NICK: I MIGHT HAVE TO TRY THAT. THANKS FOR SHARING YOUR STORY WITH US. OLIVIA
KUEHNLE EVERYONE!

COREY: MIAMISBURG IS HOME TO MANY GREAT ATHLETES BUT THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO
GO UNNOTICED LIKE THE GREAT CONTENT CREATORS

PLAY DANIELS VIDEO

NICK: VERY GOOD STUFF DANIEL

COREY: SO WHAT IS YOUR NEXT BIG PROJECT?

*LET THE MAN TALK, IF WE AREN’T AT 5 MINUTES THEN HE TALKS FOR THE REST OF THE
TIME!*

NICK: FROM SEMESTER UPDATE I’M NICK STAGER

COREY: AND I’M COREY FRIES, HAVE A GREAT DAY MHS!