Social penetration theory

The social penetration theory (SPT) proposes that, as relationships develop, interpersonal
communication moves from relatively shallow, non-intimate levels to deeper, more intimate
ones.[1] The theory was formulated by psychologists Irwin Altman and Dalmas Taylor in 1973
to understand relationship development between individuals. Altman and Taylor note that
relationships "involve different levels of intimacy of exchange or degree of social
penetration". SPT is known as an objective theory as opposed to an interpretive theory,
meaning that it is based on data drawn from experiments and not from conclusions based
on individuals' specific experiences.[2]

SPT states that the relationship development occurs primarily through self-disclosure, or
intentionally revealing personal information such as personal motives, desires, feelings,
thoughts, and experiences to others. This theory is also guided by the assumptions that
relationship development is systematic and predictable. Through self-disclosure,
relationship development follows particular trajectory, moving from superficial layers of
exchanges to more intimate ones.[1] Self-disclosure is the major way to bring a relationship
to a new level of intimacy. SPT also examines the process of de-penetration and how some
relationships regress over time and eventually end.[3]

Assumptions

SPT is based on four basic assumptions.[4]

O. Relationship development moves from superficial layers to intimate ones.

For instance, on a first date, people tend to present their outer images only, talking
about hobbies. As the relational development progresses, wider and more
controversial topics such as political views are included in the conversations.

Q. Interpersonal relationships develop in a generally systematic and predictable

manner.
This assumption indicates the predictability of relationship development. Although it
is impossible to foresee the exact and precise path of relational development, there
is certain trajectory to follow. As Altman and Taylor note, "People seem to possess
very sensitive tuning mechanisms which enable them to program carefully their
interpersonal relationships."[1]

R. Relational development could move backward, resulting in de-penetration and

 dissolution.
For example, after prolonged and fierce fights, a couple who originally planned to get
married may decide to break up and ultimately become strangers.

S. Self-disclosure is the key to facilitate relationship development.

Self-disclosure means disclosing and sharing personal information to others. It
enables individuals to know each other and plays a crucial role in determining how
far a relationship can go, because gradual exploration of mutual selves is essential in
the process of social penetration.[1]

Self-disclosure

The self-disclosure is a purposeful disclosure of personal information to another person.[5]

Disclosure may include sharing both high-risk and low-risk information as well as personal
experiences, ideas, attitudes, feelings, values, past facts and life stories, and even future
hopes, dreams, ambitions, and goals. In sharing information about themselves, people make
choices about what to share and with whom to share it. Altman and Taylor believe that
opening inner self to other is the main route to reach to intimate relationships.

As for the speed of self-disclosure, Altman and Taylor were convinced that the process of
social penetration moves quickly in the beginning stages of a relationship and slows down
considerably in the later stages. Those who are able to develop a long-term, positive
reward/cost outcome are the same people who are able to share important matches of
breadth categories. The early reward/cost assessment have a strong impact on the
relationship's reactions and involvement, and expectancies in a relationship regarding the
future play a major role on the outcome of the relationship.

Disclosure reciprocity
…
Self-disclosure is reciprocal, especially in the early stages of relationship development.
Disclosure reciprocity is an indispensable component in SPT.[4] Disclosure reciprocity is a
process in which when one person reveals personal information of a certain intimacy level,
the other person will in turn disclose information of the same level.[6] It is two-way
disclosure, or mutual disclosure. Disclosure reciprocity can induce positive and satisfactory
feelings and drive forward relational development. This is because as mutual disclosure take
place between individuals, they might feel a sense of emotional equity. Disclosure
reciprocity occurs when the openness of one person is reciprocated with the same degree
of the openness from the other person.[4] For instance, if someone was to bring up their
experience with an intimate topic such as weight gain or having divorced parents, the
person they are talking to could reciprocate by sharing their own experience.[7]

Onion metaphor
…
SPT is known for its onion analogy, which implies that self-disclosure is the process of
tearing layers or concentric circles away.[4] The onion denotes various layers of personality.
It is sometimes called the "onion theory" of personality. Personality is like a multi-layered
onion with public self on the outer layer and private self at the core. As time passes and
intimacy grows, the layers of one's personality begin to unfold to reveal the core of the
person. Three major factors influence self-revelation and begin the process of the onion
theory, which are personal characteristics, reward/cost assessments, and the situational
context.[8]

Onion Metaphor - Social Penetration Theory

Stages
…
The development of relationship is not automatic but rather occurs through the skills of
partners in revealing or disclosing first their attitudes and later their personalities, inner
character, and true selves. This is done in a reciprocal manner. The main factor that acts as
a catalyst in the development of relationships is proper self disclosure. Altman and Taylor
proposes that there are four major stages in social penetration:

O. Orientation stage
In this first stage, individuals engage in small talk and simple, harmless clichés like,
'Life's like that'. This first stage follows the standards of social desirability and norms
of appropriateness.[1] The outer images are presented and peripheral information are
exchanged.
 Q. Exploratory affective stage
Individuals start to reveal the inner self bit by bit, expressing personal attitudes
about moderate topics such as government and education. This may not be the
whole truth as individuals are not yet comfortable to lay themselves bare. This is the
stage of casual friendship, and many relationships do not go past this stage.

R. Affective stage
Individuals are getting more comfortable to talk about private and personal matter,
and there are some forms of commitment in this stage. Personal idioms, or words
and phrases that embody unique meanings between individuals, are used in
conversations. Criticism and arguments may arise. A comfortable share of positive
and negative reactions occurs in this stage. Relationships become more important to
both parties, more meaningful and more enduring. It is a stage of close friendships
and intimate partners.[4]

S. Stable stage
The relationship now reaches a plateau in which some of the deepest personal
thoughts, beliefs, and values are shared and each can predict the emotional
reactions of the other person. This stage is characterized with complete openness,
raw honesty and a high degree of spontaneity.[4]
De-penetration stage (optional)
When the relationship starts to break down and costs exceed benefits, then there is
a withdrawal of disclosure which causes the relationship to end.[9]

De-penetration
…
De-penetration is a gradual process of layer-by-layer withdrawal and it cause relationship
and intimacy level to move backward and fade away. According to Altman and Taylor, when
de-penetration occurs, "interpersonal exchange should proceed backwards from more to
less intimate areas, should decrease in breadth or volume, and, as a result, the total
cumulative wedge of exchange should shrink".[1] A warm friendship between two people will
deteriorate if they begin to close off areas of their lives that had earlier been opened.
Relational retreat takes back of what has earlier been exchanged in the building of a
relationship. Relationships are likely to break down not in an explosive argument but in a
gradual cooling off of enjoyment and care. What is worth noting is that Tolstedt and Stokes
finds that in the de-penetration process, the self-disclosure breadth reduces, while self-
disclosure depth increases.[10] It is because when intimate relationship is dissolving, a wide
range of judgments, feelings and evaluations, particularly the negative ones, are involved in
conversations.[10]
Idiomatic communication in self-disclosure
…
Within the coming together and falling apart stages of a relationship, partners will
oftentimes use unique forms of communication, such as nicknames and idioms, to refer to
one another. This is known as idiomatic communication, a phenomenon that is reported to
occur more often among couples in the coming together stages of a relationship.[11]
Couples that find themselves falling apart reported that idiomatic communication, which
can include teasing insults and other personally provocative language, overall have an
adverse effect on the relationship as a whole. Therefore, this personalized form of
communication acts more as a maintainer of a relationship and is not to be necessarily
taken as a sign that a couple is moving upward or downward in their relationship trajectory.

Breadth and depth

…
Both depth and breadth are related to the onion model. As the wedge penetrates the layers
of the onion, the degree of intimacy (depth) and the range of areas in an individual's life that
an individual chooses to share (breadth) increases.

(1) Breadth
…
The breadth of penetration is the range of areas in an individual's life being disclosed, or the
range of topics discussed. For instance, one segment could be family, a specific romantic
relationship, or academic studies. Each of these segments or areas are not always accessed
at the same time. One could be completely open about a family relationship while hiding an
aspect of a romantic relationship for various reasons such as abuse or disapproval from
family or friends. It takes genuine intimacy with all segments to be able to access all areas
of breadth at all times.[12]

(2) Depth
…
The depth of penetration is a degree of intimacy. This does not necessarily refer to sexual
activity, but how open and close someone can become with another person despite their
anxiety over self-disclosure. Doing this will give the person more trust in the relationship
and make them want to talk about deeper things that would be discussed in normal,
everyday conversation. This could be through friendship, family relationships, peers, and
even romantic relationships with either same-sex or opposite-sex partners.

When talking with one person over time, someone could make more topics to talk about so
the other person will start to open up and express what they feel about the different issues
and topics. This helps the first person to move closer to getting to know the person and
how they react to different things. This is applicable when equal intimacy is involved in
friendship, romance, attitudes and families.

(3) Relationship
…
It is possible to have depth without breadth and even breadth without depth. For instance,
depth without breadth could be where only one area of intimacy is accessed. "A relationship
that could be depicted from the onion model would be a summer romance. This would be
depth without breadth." On the other hand, breadth without depth would be simple
everyday conversations. An example would be when passing by an acquaintance and
saying, "Hi, how are you?" without ever really expecting to stop and listen to what this
person has to say is common. To get to the level of breadth and depth, both parties have to
work on their social skills and how they present themselves to people. They have to be
willing to open up and talk to each other and express themselves. One person could share
some information about their personal life and see how the other person responds. If they
do not want to open up the first time, the first person has to keep talking to the second
person and have many conversations to get to the point where they both feel comfortable
enough for them to want to talk to each other about more personal topics.

The relationship between breadth and depth can be similar to that used in technology
today. Pennington describes in a study that

... With a click of the mouse to accept them as a "friend" roommates

across the country can learn: relationships status (single, engaged, it's
complicated), favorite movies, books, TV shows, religious views, political
views, and a whole lot more if someone takes the time to fill out an entire
Facebook profile[13]

Because of social media sites like Facebook, the breadth of subjects can be wide, as well as
the depth of those using the platforms. Users of these platforms seem to feel obligated to
share simple information as was listed by Pennington, but also highly personal information
that can now be considered general knowledge. Because of social media platforms and
user's willingness to share personal information, the law of reciprocity is thrown out the
window in favor of divulging personal information to countless followers/friends without
them sharing the same level of vulnerability in return. In cases like this, there is depth
without much breadth.[13]
Barriers
…
Several factors can affect the amount of self-disclosure between partners: gender, race,
religion, personality, social status and ethnic background. For example, Americans friends
tend to discuss intimate topics with each other, whereas Japanese friends are more likely to
discuss superficial topics.[14] One might feel less inclined to disclose personal information if
doing so would violate their religious beliefs. Being part of a religious minority could also
influence how much one feels comfortable in disclosing personal information.[15] In romantic
relationships, women are more likely to self-disclose than their male counterparts.[16] Men
often refrain from expressing deep emotions out of fear of social stigma. Such barriers can
slow the rate of self-disclosure and even prevent relationships from forming. In theory, the
more dissimilar two people are, the more difficult or unlikely self-disclosure becomes.

Stranger-on-the-train phenomenon
…
Most of the time individuals engage in self-disclosure strategically, carefully evaluating what
to disclose and what to be reserved, since disclosing too much in the early stage of
relationship is generally considered inappropriate, which can end or suffocate a
relationship. Whereas, in certain contexts, self-disclosure does not follow the pattern. This
exception is known as "stranger-on-the-train (or plane or bus)" phenomenon, in which
individuals reveal personal information with complete strangers in public spaces rapidly.[4]
For instance, on a night coach from London to Paris, two individuals sitting next to each
other may start conversation very soon, and somehow a wide range of topics including
controversial and very personal ones may be discussed. In such situations, self-disclosure
is spontaneous rather than strategic. This specific concept can be known as verbal leakage,
which is defined by Floyd as "unintentionally telling another person something about
yourself".[17] SPT operates under the impression that the self-disclosure given is not only
truthful, meaning the speaker believes what is being said to be true, but intentional.[17] Self-
disclosure can be defined as "the voluntary sharing of personal history, preferences,
attitudes, feelings, values, secrets, etc., with another person".[18] The information given in
any relationship, whether acquaintance or a well-established relationship, should be
voluntarily shared, otherwise it does not follow the laws of reciprocity, and would fall under
the verbal leakage umbrella, or the stranger-on-the-train phenomenon.[17] It is still a puzzle
why such instant intimacy could occur. Some researchers argue that revealing our inner self
to complete strangers is deemed as "cathartic exercise" or "service of confession", which
allows individuals to unload emotions and express deeper thoughts without being haunted
by the potential unfavorable comments or judgements.[19] This is because people tend to
take lightly and dismiss responses from strangers, who do not really matter in their lives.
Some researcher suggests that this phenomenon occurs because individuals feel less
vulnerable to open up to strangers who they are not expected to see again.[20]

Sexual communication anxiety among couples

…
The rate of sexual satisfaction in relationships has been observed to relate directly to the
effective communication between couples. Individuals in a relationship who experience
anxiety will find it difficult to divulge information regarding their sexuality and desires due to
the perceived vulnerabilities in doing so. In a study published by the Archives of Sexual
Behavior, socially anxious individuals generally attribute potential judgement or scrutiny as
the main instigators for any insecurities in self-disclosing to their romantic partners.[21] This
fear of intimacy, and thus a lower level of sexual self-disclosure within a relationship, is
predicted to correlate to a decrease in sexual satisfaction.

Rewards and costs assessment

Social exchange theory

…
Social exchange theory states that humans weigh each relationship and interaction with
another human on a reward cost scale without realizing it. If the interaction was satisfactory,
then that person or relationship is looked upon favorably. But if an interaction was
unsatisfactory, then the relationship will be evaluated for its costs compared to its rewards
or benefits. People try to predict the outcome of an interaction before it takes place.
Coming from a scientific standpoint, Altman and Taylor were able to assign letters as
mathematical representations of costs and rewards. They also borrowed the concepts from
Thibaut and Kelley's in order to describe the relation of costs and rewards of relationships.
Thibaut and Kelley's key concepts of relational outcome, relational satisfaction, and
relational stability serve as the foundation of Irwin and Taylor's rewards minus costs,
comparison level, and comparison level of alternatives.

A major factor of disclosure is an individual calculation in direct relation to benefits of the

relationship at hand. Each calculation is unique in its own way because every person prefers
different things and therefore will give different responses to different questions.

An example of how rewards and costs can influence behavior is if an individual were to ask
another individual on a date. If they accept, then the first individual has gained a reward,
making them more likely to repeat this action. However, if they decline, then they have
received a punishment which in turn would stop them from repeating an action like that in
the future. The more someone discloses to their partner, the greater the intimacy reward
will be. When the individuals involved in the relationship hold positive values in this
calculation, intimacy proceeds at an accelerated rate. In the relationship, if both parties are
dyad, the cost exceeds the rewards. The relationship then will slow considerably, and future
intimacy is less likely to happen. The basic formula in which some can process this in most
situations is: Behavior (profits) = Rewards of interaction − costs of interaction.

This means that people want to maximize their rewards and minimize their costs when they
are in a relationship with somebody. According to Altman and Taylor, relationships are
sustained when they are relatively rewarding when the outcome is positive and discontinued
when they are relatively costly (when the outcome is negative).
Outcome = Rewards − Costs
A positive result will in return result in more disclosure.

Comparison level
…
The first standard that we use to evaluate the outcomes of a situation is comparison level
(CL). As defined by Thibaut and Kelley, CL is the standard by which individuals evaluate the
desirability of group membership. A group is defined as "two or more interdependent
individuals who influence one another through social interaction". In this instance, the group
refers to a dyadic relationship, but it can really be extended to any type of group. "A
person's comparison level (CL) is the threshold above which an outcome seems attractive".
That is, when groups fall above the CL they are seen as being satisfying to the individual,
and when they fall below the CL they are seen as being unsatisfying. We take an average of
outcomes from the past as a benchmark to determine what makes us happy or sad so that
we may develop the threshold, or comparison level, in which an outcome appears attractive.
Past experiences shape one's thoughts and feelings about developing relationships, and in
this way, an individual's CL is very much influenced by these previous relationships.

Comparison level of alternatives

…
A person's CL is the threshold above which an outcome appears attractive. CL only predicts
when we are satisfied with membership in a given relationship, or group. Therefore, Thibaut
and Kelley also say that people use a CL for alternatives to evaluate their outcomes.
Basically, CL for alternatives is determined by "the worst outcome a person will accept and
still stay in a relationship." As such, comparison level for alternatives is a better predictor for
whether or not a person will join or leave a relationship, or group. However, even if a
relationship is unhealthy, a person might choose to remain in it because it is better than
what they perceive the real world to be. Trends and sequences are one of the major factors
when evaluating a relationship.

Applications

Interpersonal communication
…
The value of SPT initially lies in the area of interpersonal communication. Scholars have
been using the concepts and onion model to explore the development of counter-
sex/romantic relationships, friendships, parent-child relationships, employer-employee
relationships, caregiver-patient relationships and beyond. Some of the key findings are
described as follows.

Researchers have found out that in parent-child relationships, information derived from the
child's spontaneous disclosure in daily activities was most closely connected to generating
and maintaining their trust in parents, indicating the importance of developing shallow but
broad relationships with children through everyday conversation rather than long-lasting
profound lectures (Kerr, Stattin & Trost, 1999). Honeycutt used the SPT model, along with
the Attraction Paradigm, to analyze happiness between married couples. While the SPT
model believes that relationships are grounded on effective communication, the Attraction
Paradigm believes that relationships are grounded on having shared interests, personality
types, and beliefs. The results showed that having a perceived understanding of each other
can lead to happiness between married couples. While the research notes that it looks only
at perceived understanding and not actual understanding, it shows the importance of
relationship development. The more that partners in a relationship interact with each other,
the more likely they are to have a better understanding of each other.[22] Scholars also use
this theory to examine other factors influencing the social penetration process in close
friendships. As Mitchell and William (1987) put it, ethnicity and sex do have impact on the
friendship foster. The survey results indicates that more breadth of topics occurs in
penetration process in black friendship than white.[23] Regarding the caregiver-patient
relationship, developing a social penetrated relationship with institution disclosed breadth
and depth information and multiple effective penetration strategies is critical to the benefits
of the patients (Yin & Lau, 2005). Nurses could apply the theory into daily interactions with
patients, as doctors could in their articulations when consulting or announcing.

Gender-based difference in self-disclosure

 …
Research demonstrates that there are significant gender differences in self-disclosure,
particularly emotional self-disclosure, or expressing personal feelings and emotions, such
as "Sometimes, I feel lonely to study abroad and to be away from my family."[6] Emotional
self-disclosure is at core of intimate relationship developments, because unlike factual
(descriptive) self-disclosure, or sharing superficial self-relevant facts, such as "I'm studying
abroad in Japan", it is more personal and more effective to cultivate intimacy.[24] Emotional
self-disclosure makes individuals "transparent" and vulnerable to others.[6] According to
previous studies, females are more socially oriented, whereas males are more task-oriented,
and thus females are believed to be more socially interdependent than males.[25] This is one
of the reasons that contributes to the gender difference in self-disclosure. In a friendship
between females, emotional attachments such as sharing emotions, thoughts, experiences,
and supports are at the core, while friendships between males tend to focus on activities
and companionship.[6] Overall, women's friendships are described as more intimate than
men's friendship.

In addition, there is a gender difference regarding to topics revealed. Men tend to disclose
their strengths. On the contrary, women disclose their fear more.[6] Both men and women
are prone to disclose their emotions to the same-sex friends more, but women are prone to
reveal more than men to both same-sex as well as cross-sex friends.[20] What is worth
noting is that according to a research conducted among Pakistani students, women
extensively disclose their feelings, while emotions such as depression, anxiety and fear are
more likely being disclosed to male friends, because men are perceived as more capable to
deal with such emotions.[6]

Self-disclosure in the LGBT community

…
Minority groups especially have a unique way of creating closeness between each other. For
example, lesbian friendships and intimate relationships are reliant on mutual self-disclosure
and honesty.[26] Both parties must expose themselves for an authentic and genuine
relationship to develop. The problem is that for many lesbians, this process is not always as
simple as it may seem. Exposing oneʼs sexual orientation can be a difficult and grueling
process and because of this, many lesbians avoid disclosing their true identities to new
acquaintances.[26] This leads these individuals to turn to their family members or already
existing social support systems, which may lead to a strain in those relationships and a
smaller social support system.[26]

Because of these difficulties, lesbians will limit who they choose to surround themselves
with. A lot of these women involve themselves in groups that are solely made up of only
lesbians or groups that are only made up of heterosexual women to avoid their true lesbian
identity.[26]

Authentic communication is built on honest self-disclosure. This part of the relationship

process lies heavily on exposing oneʼs personal values and self-concept.[26] When a
relationship is being created, innermost thoughts and feelings are shared and trust is built.
It can be difficult for lesbian individuals to open-up about their sexual identities, because of
the fear of being rejected or losing special relationships.[26]

A study was done to examine self-disclosure among LGBT youths. Through a series of
interviews, a group of LGBT youths described their coming out experiences. They told the
interviewers about who they chose to disclose their sexual orientation to and whether the
disclosure had a positive or negative effect on their relationships.[27]

Results showed that more youths disclosed their sexual orientation to their friends than to
their parents. A number of participants chose to disclose their sexual orientation to their
teachers. Results also showed both positive and negative reactions. Some youth expressed
de-penetration in their friendships after coming out, as well as de-penetration in their
sibling relationships. Some participants expressed experiencing other reactions beside
positive and negative. There were invalidated reactions, where a participantʼs sexual
orientation was dismissed as a “phase” and neutral reactions, where the recipient of the
disclosure informed the participant that they were already aware of their sexual orientation.
Some participants expressed having mixed and evolving results. For example, a participant
who identified as a transgender male said that his mother was initially fine with his sexual
orientation, which at the time was a lesbian woman, but had a negative reaction when he
later came out as transgender. A few participants mentioned that they had initially received
negative reactions from friends and family after coming out, but that as time went on, their
sexual orientation came to be accepted and the relationships remained intact.[27]

LGBT professionals often feel anxiety about disclosing their sexual orientation to their
colleagues. Professionals who chose to disclose their sexual orientation have had mixed
reactions in how it has affected their relationship with their colleagues. Some had had
positive reactions, strengthening their relationships and their overall job satisfaction, while
others have had the opposite experience. They feel that disclosing their sexual orientation
hurt their professional relationships and their overall job satisfaction. The atmosphere of
oneʼs office can influence their decision to disclose their sexual orientation. If their
colleagues are themselves LGBT or if they have voiced support for the LGBT community,
the more likely they are to disclose their sexual orientation. If they have little to no
colleagues who are openly part of the LGBT community or if there is no vocal support, the
less likely they are to come out.[28]

Patient self-disclosure in psychotherapy

…
Patient self-disclosure has been a prominent issue in therapy, particularly in psychotherapy.
Early studies have shown that patients' self-disclosure is positively related to treatment
outcomes.[20] Freud is a pioneer in encouraging his patients to totally open up in
psychotherapy.[20] Many early clinical innovations, such as lying on the couch and
therapist's silence, are aimed to create an environment, an atmosphere, that allows patients
to disclose their deepest self, and free them from concerns facilitating conscious
suppression of emotions or memories.[20] Nonetheless, even with such efforts, as Barry A.
Farber puts it, in psychotherapy "full disclosure is more of an ideal than an actuality."[20]
Patients are prone to reveal certain topics to the therapists, such as disliked characteristics
of self, social activities, as well as relationship with friends and significant ones; while tend
to avoid discussing certain issues, such as sexual-oriented experiences, immediately
experienced negative reactions (e.g feeling misunderstood or confused) due to conscious
inhibition.[20]

In psychotherapy, patients have to deal with the tension between confessional relief and
confessional shame all the time.[20] It has been shown that the length of therapy and the
strength of the therapeutic alliance, the bond between the patient and the therapist, are two
major factors that affect self-disclosure in psychotherapy.[20] As SPT indicates, the longer
patients spent time with their therapists, the broader becomes the range of issues being
discussed, and more topics are marked with depth.[20] The greater the depth of the
discussions, the more likely the patient feels being vulnerable. Therefore, the trust built over
time among the patient and the therapist is essential to reach a mode of deep discussion.
To strengthen the alliance, cultivating a comfortable atmosphere for self-disclosure and
self-discovery is important.[20]

Patient/therapist self-disclosure
…
The condition of patientsʼ with eating disorders have been shown to improve with therapist
self-disclosure. In 2017, a study was conducted and 120 participants (95% were women)
were surveyed.[29] For the purpose of the study, appropriate therapist self-disclosure was
defined as sharing positive feelings towards participants in therapy and discussing one's
training background.

The results found that 84% of people said their therapist disclosed positive feelings to them
while in therapy.[29] The study found that when therapists disclosed positive feelings, it had
a positive effect on the patient's eating problems.[29] Eating disorders generally got better
with therapist self-disclosure. When the therapist shared self-referent information to the
patient it created trust and the patients perceived the therapist as being more "human."
Patients with eating disorders saw the therapist disclosure as a strengthening therapeutic
relationship.[29] However, personal self-disclosure of the therapist‒sexuality, personal
values, and negative feelings‒was considered inappropriate by patients.[29]

Self-disclosure and individuals with social phobia

…
Social phobia, or social anxiety disorder (SAD), is a disorder in which individuals are
experienced with overwhelming levels of fear in social situations and interactions.
Individuals with social phobia tend to adopt strategic avoidance of social interactions, which
makes it challenging for them to disclose themselves to others and reveal emotions. Self-
disclosure is the key to foster intimate relationship, in which individuals can receive needed
social supports. Close friendship and romantic relationship are two major sources for social
supports, which have protective effect and play a crucial role in helping individuals with
social phobia to cope with distress.[30] Due to the profound impacts of the anxiety disorder,
it has been found that late marriage or staying unmarried for the lifetime is prevailing among
population with social phobia.[30] This is problematic, because being unable to gain needed
social supports from intimate ones further confines the social phobic in the loneliness and
depression that they have been suffering from.[30] In response to the problem, Sparrevohn
and Rapee suggest that improving communication skill, particularly self-disclosure and
emotional expression, should be included in future social phobia treatment, so the life
quality of individuals with social phobia can be improved.[30]

Server-patron mutual disclosure in restaurant industry

…
As social penetration theory suggests, disclosure reciprocity induces positive emotion
which is essential for retaining close and enduring relationships. In service industry,
compared with securing new customers, maintaining long-term relationships with existing
customers is more cost-effective.[25] Therefore, engaging with current customers is a
crucial topic in restaurant industry. Hwang et al. indicates that mutual disclosure is the vital
factor for establishing trust between customers and servers.[31] Effective server disclosure,
such as sincere advice about menu choices and personal favorite dishes, can elicit
reciprocity of information exchange between servers and customers. The received
information regarding to the taste and preference of the customers then can be used to
provide tailored services, which in turn can positively strengthen customers' trust,
commitment and loyalty toward the restaurant.[25]

Hwang et al. suggest that server disclosure is more effective to evoke customer disclosure
in female customers, who are more likely to reveal personal information than their male
counterparts.[25] In addition, studies have shown that factors such as expertise (e.g.
servers' knowledge and experience), customer-oriented attribute (e.g. listening to the
concerns from the customers attentively), as well as marital status influence mutual
disclosure in the restaurant setting. Expertise is positively correlated to both customer and
server disclosure.[31] Server disclosure is only effective in inducing disclosure and positive
feelings from unmarried patrons who are more welcome to have a conversation with the
servers.[31]

Organizational communication
…
The ideas posited by the theory have been researched and re-examined by scholars when
looking at organizational communication. Some scholars explored the arena of company
policy making, demonstrating that the effect company policies have on the employees,
ranging from slight attitudinal responses (such as dissatisfaction) to radical behavioral
reactions (such as conflicts, fights and resignation). In this way, sophisticated
implementation of controversial policies is required (Baack, 1991). Social penetration theory
offers a framework allowing for an explanation of the potential issues.

Media-mediated communication
…
Self-disclosure in reality TV
…
Reality TV shows are gaining popularity in the last decades, and the trend is still growing.
Reality TV is a genre that is characterized with real-life situations and very intimate self-
disclosure in the shows. Self-disclosure in reality show can be considered as self-disclosure
by media characters and the relationship between the audience and the media character is
parasocial.[32]

In reality show, self-disclosure are usually delivered in the form of a monologue, which is
similar real-life self-disclosure and gives the audience the illusion that the messages are
directed to them.[32] According to social penetration theory, self-disclosure should follow
certain stages, moving from the superficial layers to the central layers gradually.
Nonetheless, rapid self-disclosure of intimate layers is a norm in reality TV shows, and
unlike in interpersonal interactions, viewers prefer early intimate disclosure and such
disclosure leads to liking rather than inducing uncomfortable feeling.[32] Heavy viewers are
more accustomed to the norm of early intimate disclosure, because provocative stimuli and
voyeuristic are what they are searching for in such shows.[32]

Computer-mediated communication
…
Computer-mediated communication (CMC) can be thought of as another way in which
people can develop relationships. The Internet has been thought to broaden the way people
communicate and build relationships by providing a medium in which people could be open-
minded and unconventional and circumvent traditional limitations like time and place. (Yum
& Hara, 2005)

Some theorists find this concept impossible and there are barriers to this idea. Since there
are risks and there is usually more uncertainty about whether the person on the other side
of the computer is being real and truthful, or deceitful and manipulative for one reason or
another there is no possible way to build a relationship. A lack of face-to-face
communication can cause heightened skepticism and doubt. Since this is possible, there is
no chance to make a long-lasting and profound connection.

However, there are other researchers who have found that self-disclosure online tends to
reassure people that if they are rejected, at least itʼs more likely to be by strangers and not
family or friends; thus, reinforcing the desire to self-disclose online, rather than face-to-
face. (Panos, 2014)[33] Not only are people meeting new people to make friends, but many
people are meeting and initiating romantic relationships online. (Yum & Hara, 2005) In
another study, it was found that "CMC dyads compensated for the limitations of the channel
by making their questions more intimate than those who exhibited face-to-face" (Sheldon,
2009).

Celebrity's self-disclosure on social media

…
Social media has turned to be a crucial platform for celebrities to engage with their
followers. On social medias, the boundaries between interpersonal and mass
communication is blurred, and parasocial interaction (PSI) is adopted strategically by
celebrities to enhance liking, intimacy and credibility from their followers.[34] As Ledbetter
and Redd notes, "During PSI, people interact with a media figure, to some extent, as if they
were in an actual interpersonal relationships with the target entity."[34] For celebrities,
professional self-disclosure (e.g. information as to upcoming events) and personal self-
disclosure (e.g. emotions and feelings) are two primary ways to cultivate illusory intimacy
with their followers and to expand their fan bases. What is worth noting is that unlike in real-
life interpersonal relationship, disclosure reciprocity is not expected in parasocial
interactions, although through imagined interactions on social medias, followers do feel
they are connected to the media figures.[24]

Social networking
…
Self-disclosure has been studied when it comes to face-to-face interactions. Since social
networking sites are relatively new phenomena, there are not as many studies done about
how people disclose information online compared to a one-on-one interaction. There have
been surveys conducted about how social networking sites such as Facebook, MySpace,
Twitter, LinkedIn, hi5, myyearbook, or Friendster affect interactions between human beings.
On Facebook, users are able to determine their level and degree of self-disclosure by
setting their privacy settings (McCarthy, 2009).[35] People achieve the breadth via posting
about their everyday lives and sharing surface information while developing intimate
relationships with great depth by sending private Facebook messages and creating closed
groups.

The level of intimacy that one chooses to disclose as part CMC depends on the type of
website they are using to communicate. Disclosing personal information online is a goal-
oriented process. If oneʼs goal is to build a relationship with someone, they would likely
disclose personal information over instant messaging (IM) and on social media. It is highly
unlikely that they would choose to share that information in a website that is used for online
shopping. With online shopping, the goal is to make a purchase and not to build a
relationship. Thus, the individual would share only the information needed (i.e. name and
address) in order to make a purchase. In disclosing information over IM and in social media,
the individual is much more selective in what they choose to disclose.[36]

There was a study done about the connection on how couples or other romantic
relationships have trust, commitment, and affection towards each other and the amount of
self-disclosure each person gives to the one another. There are several criteria to the study.
One important is how the couple met. If they met before talking over the Internet, they are
more likely to reveal personal information due to the higher levels of trust. According to
Rempel, Holmes, & Zanna (1985) the best way to be able to trust someone is to be able to
foretell or calculate how another person will act or react to any given information. In other
words, we are more probable to release information about ourselves if we can predict the
behavior of the other person.

"The hyperpersonal perspective suggests that the limited cues in CMC are likely to result in
over attribution and exaggerated or idealized perceptions of others and that those who
meet and interact via CMC use such limited cues to engage in optimized or selective self-
presentation". (Walther, 1996) In other words, there could be deceitful or dishonest intents
involved from people on the Internet. There is the possibility that someone could mislead
another person because there are more opportunities to build a more desirable identity
without fear of persecution. If there is no chance of ever meeting the person on the other
end of the computer, then there is a high risk of falsifying information and credentials.

Other theorists such as Rubin and Bargh say that because of the blockade of the computer,
it increases how likely people are to be true and honest about themselves. There is also the
idea that there will not be any fear of consequences for less than respectable decisions
made in the past. Computer-mediated communication has also been thought to even speed
up the intimacy process because computers allow individual communication to be more,
rather than less, open and accommodating about the characteristics of the person or
persons involved. Both ideas and types of theories can be proven and disproven, but it all
depends on how an individual uses and or abuses computer-mediated communication.

Research has also been done to see what types of people tend to benefit most from online
self-disclosure. The "social compensation" or "poor-get-richer" hypothesis (Sheldon, 2009)
suggests that those who have poor social networks and social anxiety can get more benefit
by disclosing themselves freely and creating new relationships through the Internet
(Sheldon, 2009). We can see from this that those who may be more introverted are more
likely to disclose information on the internet. They find that it is a safe space, and it takes
away the factor of having to speak in front of groups of people. However, other research has
been done to prove that extraverts are more likely to disclose information online. This brings
in the "rich-get-richer" hypothesis (Sheldon, 2009) that states that "the Internet primarily
benefits extraverted individuals...[and] online communication...increases the opportunities
for extraverted adolescents to make friends... [the research concluded that] extraverted
individuals disclosed more online than introverted" (Sheldon, 2009).

Online dating
…
Some scholars posit that when initiating a romantic relationship, there are important
differences between internet dating sites and other spaces, such as the depth and breadth
of the self-disclosed information taken place before they go further to one-on-one
conversation (Monica, 2007).[37] Studies have shown that in real life, adolescents tend to
engage in sexual disclosure according to the level of relationship intimacy, which supports
the social penetration model; but in cyberspace, men present a stronger willingness and
interest to communicate without regarding the current intimacy status or degree (Yang,
Yang & Chiou, 2010).[38] There are also many counter-examples of the theory that exist in
romantic relationship development. Some adolescents discuss the most intimate
information when they first meet online or have sex without knowing each other thoroughly.
Contrary to the path stated by SPT, the relationship would have developed from the core –
the highest depth – to the superficial surface of large breadth. In this way, sexual disclosure
on the part of adolescents under certain circumstances departs from the perspective of
SPT.

Gibbs, Ellison, and Heino conducted a study analyzing self-disclosure in online dating. They
found that the desire for an intimate FtF relationship could be a decision factor into how
much information one chose to disclose in online dating. This might mean presenting an
honest depiction of oneʼs self online as opposed to a positive one. Having an honest
depiction, could turn off a potential date, especially if the depiction is seen as negative. This
could be beneficial, however, as it would prevent the formation of a relationship that would
likely fail. It could also cause the potential date to self-disclose about themselves in
response, adding to the possibility of making a connection.[39]

Some individuals might focus more on having a positive depiction. This might cause them to
be more selective in the information they disclose. An individual who presents themselves
honestly could argue that disclosing their negative information is necessary as in a long-
term relationship, oneʼs partner would eventually learn of their flaws. An individual who
presents themselves positively could argue it is more appropriate to wait until the
relationship develops before sharing negative information.[39]

In a separate study, Ellison, Heino, and Gibbs, analyzed specifically how one chose to
present themselves in online dating. They found that most individuals thought of
themselves as being honest in how they presented themselves and that they could not
understand why someone would present themselves dishonestly. To say that most people
deliberately deceive people in how they present themselves in online dating is not true.
Instead they are presenting an ideal self. An ideal self is what one would like themselves to
be as opposed to what they actually are in reality. One could justify this by believing that
they could become their ideal self in the future. Some users might present themselves in a
way that is not necessarily false, but not fully true either. For example, one could say that
they enjoy activities such as scuba diving and hiking, but go several years without partaking
in them. This could come across as misleading to a potential date who partakes in these
activities regularly. Weight is a common area in which one might present an ideal self as
opposed to an honest self. Some users might use older pictures or lie about their weight
with the intention of losing it. For some individuals, they might present themselves in a way
that is inaccurate but is truly how they see themselves. This is known as "foggy mirror"
phenomenon.[40]

Blogging and online chatting

…
With the advent of Internet, blogs and online chatrooms have appeared all over the globe.
There are personal bloggers and professional bloggers – those who write blog posts for a
company they work for. Generally, those who blog on a professional level donʼt disclose
personal information. They only disclose information relative to the company they work for.
However, those who blog on a personal level have also made a career out of their blogging –
there are many who are making money for sharing their lives with the world.

According to Jih-Hsin Tang, Cheng-Chung Wang, bloggers tend to have significantly

different patterns of self-disclosure for different target audiences. The online survey which
involved 1027 Taiwanese bloggers examined the depth and breath of what bloggers
disclosed to the online audience, best friend and parents as well as nine topics they
revealed.[41] Tang and Wang (2012), based on their research study on the relationship
between the social penetration theory and blogging, discovered that "bloggers disclose
their thoughts, feelings, and experiences to their best friends in the real world the deepest
and widest, rather than to their parents and online audiences. Bloggers seem to express
their personal interests and experiences in a wide range of topics online to document their
lives or to maintain their online social networks." As we can see, blogging is another medium
that we can use to understand social penetration theory in today's world. Regarding online
chat, research conducted by Dietz-Uhler, Bishop Clark and Howard shows that "once a
norm of self-disclosure forms, it is reinforced by statements supportive of self-disclosures
but not of non-self disclosures".[42]

See also

Personal boundaries

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