LOVE AND

INTIMACY
Is love a feeling?
Is love a thought?
Is love physical?
Love…
- is a feeling of deep affection, passion,
or strong liking for a person or thing
The American Heritage Dictionary defines love as:

• a strong feeling of affection and concern toward another person, as that

arising from kinship or close friendship;

• a strong feeling of affection and concern for another person accompanied

by sexual attraction;

• a feeling of devotion or concern by God or a god;

• a feeling of kindness or concern by God or god toward humans; and

• sexual desire or activity: the pleasures of love; a night of love

Based on the definitions above…
We see several angles of what love is. It
is an emotion, a feeling , a virtue, an
action, and an experience. Love is also
defined differently in different cultures.
STERNBERG
’S
TRIANGULA
R THEORY
OF LOVE
Stenberg’s Triangular Theory of
Love

3 Components
1. Intimacy
2. Commitment
3. Passion

Robert Sternberg
1. INTIMACY

“ that lovely moment when someone understands

and validates us”.
Researchers Reis, Clark, and Holmes( 2004) & Reis and Shaver (1998)

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1. INTIMACY
“ It is an absolute human certainty that no
one can know his own beauty or perceive
a sense of his own worth until it has been
reflected back to him in the mirror of
another loving, caring human being”

The Secret of Staying in Love- John Joseph Powell

 Being intimate with another person is about being open
and vulnerable to that person whom we deeply trust,
who we feel connected with, and who values us with
unconditional positive regard (Rogers),which is viewing
the other person with complete trust and devoid of
suspicion or negative thought.
ON
- A key component in developing intimacy,
where self-disclosure is practiced which leads to
profound and meaningful conversations that
nurture and strengthen intimacy.
- Self-disclosure requires honesty for it to work,
and is a tool in enhancing the love relationship
between two persons.
2. COMMITMENT
- an act of deciding to consistently fulfill and live by
agreements made with another person, entity, or cause,
and where the values of integrity and respect serve as a
guide to one’s behavior and thinking.

- Commitment in a love relationship is expressed

continuously in caring and loving actions for the
beloved.
3. Passion
- as defined in generic terms, is the intense state of
being that drives and consumes a person to pursue
an interest, a vision, or a person.
Attraction serves as the first
step toward liking someone,
and among all the basis of
attraction that were discussed,
reciprocity (mutual liking) is
what triggers a couple to
move toward romance and
intimacy, and eventually, to
commitment.
“ Commitment:
Saying Yes and
Meaning It
COMMITMENT is saying YES, You are into this
relationship and will stick to it for as long as POSSIBLE.

There is INTEGRITY in commitment because the word

given should mean something to the person making the
Commitment

- INTERDENPENCY develops between two healthy

individuals who commit to be together and yet not lose each
other’s individuality.
Interdependence is
symbolized by the two
candles the couple
lights up and holds on
as together they light
up a third candle
symbolizing the
relationship that has
grown between two
individuals.
 Three Variables connected to
Commitment – Rozenberg Quarterly
1. Accumulation of All rewards of the
Relationship
2. Temptation of Alternative Partners
3. Investment made by the couple in the
Relationship
 Research Identified Behaviors married
couple may do that can predict a divorce
or separation
1. Criticism
2. Denial of the existence of Conflict
3. Contempt
“Responsibilities
Relationship
in a
Responsibilities in a Relationship
1. Be responsible for what you think and say to the other person.

2. Be responsible for what you promise to do or not do.

3. Ensure the relationship is mutually beneficial.

4. Respect the other party or parties involved.

5. Be ready to provide support when needed.

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1 Corinthians 13:4–8