rama/Pllm/ f th• ••w•td1 nf th•

ltoreturo
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Frledmnn, who com■1 to pl••d hl, luv• tu yuunu , 1■1 l111l v• , 111111• • • •
111•,
SallyTalley. /,//,• ,In// ,, , ,1, '""', 1,11, d 1.. ,1,, '""" ,,1, ,,,.,..
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1
earth: that of two pitiful yetc¡lorious 111111¡¡111 l11j11i1r. ( l 11, 111il y r1111I
splendidly staggering toward c,1d1 o th,·r ." lnl111 ', 1111(" 1 N,:ll • h,,
Magazine "A funny, sweet, lyrirnl, 10111 hinq "'" 1 111;11 vnl, ,,,, ly w ,
111, , love poem for an apple andan or IIHJt' < l1v, 11 '"" ·• N, '" \ "'
,.,,
Winner of The New York Drama Critics' Clr cle Aw • rd 1t11d 1l1• ttlHI

'
Pulitzer Prize for Drama
TALLEY & SON (1986) completes the cycle, splnnlny 1111 l11trlc 11t ■
pattern bridging family with history, as the Talley fnmlly JK>w•r ami
fortunes hang in the balance. 'lt 1• Wil· "" • d, 1111.,11, ", 1·.1, v ,1, ,, ,,, able to
draw us into the realm of the T ,illey\,"" (' J'" ,1 \JIP II " ' u, understand
the grasping fathers .ind 5011 llS w,:•11 ,, tl!ü lnw wliü , _,
embrace alife of individuality and respo ns,hili t y," l\iii;I ( o11 \\ ,; W_ f,\/¡
, York Times "Wilson's strength is in extract111!J thú ex 11.,,, rdi 1, n, v i,
.-,,,, the ordinary, and making it psychologically and d111111.-,li, nlly
0
;4i :. plausible." John Simon, New York Maga.·in,,
nted lnius'"'
;,,ii:.\J
!.·,. ·,. ',', ', Also included in this volume is A Tale Told (1981), the f ascln■tlng
■111ly
version of Ta/ley & Son, printed here for the first time.

,ver and Text D füj

Julia HIII Glgnoux W ISBN-10: 1-57525·133-7
,ver l'hoto C1979 \,
_[.
. '
ISBN-13: 978-1-5152 5-1;):I 'J
...
Q1rry Good,toin.
1dd lllnch 1nd rrl,h
IWkIn,In th1 Clrcl1
,p1rtory Comp1ny
oduttlon of T1//ty'1
11/y,
LANFORD WILSON
The Talley Trilogy

CONTEMPOR.ARY PLAYW R! G HT S SE R I ES

SK
A Sm i rh and Kraus Book
 A Sn1i d1 :rnd Kram Bo ok
Puhl i,;hcd by Sm id1 an d Kra us. f nc.
1 77 Lym e Ro, d, Ha11o ver, NI-! 0}755 CONTENTS
www.,;111 i th:111d k raus.co m

Co pyright (i) 1 999 by La n ío rd Wilso 11

!111 rig lm rcserved
M.11 n:d 1t.:11.L n::d in die Un it cd S1atc .s nf Am eríc a
Cov c1 Plrn10 © 1 )79 by Cerry Coodstci n.

,Fi .,t Edi1i o11: Mnr c h 1 999

l1·
') 8 7 6 5 /4 3 2 1 Fifrh of July . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
1
.( A l 1 1 /(l N : 1
o1 l n °i' 1111,1I, ,; 1111,.I 1111,111·111
hc1,· hy wan1f'd t ha l lhe pla ys re prcsenl c <l in hoo
i-hsi l'O k n r c s u h jcc t 75
a1 c Ta.l ley's Folly
11ll \1itly. 1 lu·y U U' í ull y¡ 110 1n .1 n l 1111dn d 1·1 lo py rigl11 b w uf , he Un i rcd Stares or Am criac a, n d ora l
co u nrt ei s
t 11v t 1 1d hy 11 1•1 ' I h t• H, r r u·( ' nn vt•111ii111 , 1 '11· l'.111 Amc ric,111 Co r yrigh1 Co nvc nrio n :rndt eh U 11vi e rs 1 I
Copy r gi h l
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Talley & Son . . . . . . . . . . ., . . . . . . . . . . . . . 123
,
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\ 1 0 ,11 v t d ·( o o, s o 111HI i ,. q i u .; 1 1! rn l1t•1 ln 11111, o ( n1t·d rn r1Íc. 1! 01 clct.:1 ron ic rcpro d11c1 ions 1u- c h asC D- RO M andC I-J
, 1 11dn 1n1, 11i 1111 s 11,11 1g·t . u ul r <' ll it•v;d r 1r 111.'i .111d ¡,l1rno c..opyi11g. and , he righ rs o( rnrsn lr:i ion in
ro froe gi n A Tale Told................................................................191
l. 1g .111g t·, , , 11• c si I il'1l y n· c·rv1.: d. P,111 it u, l. r t·111¡, l1:1,¡ j,;- is l.1id npon d ie f<. llC'!li i un ofp 11 hicl r c id1 i 1g1s, p c r m s.i oi n fro
whid1 111u, 1 h L' { ' l' l ,ir · d fro, n d1<.' /\ u th o·1 .., .1gC'111 , Br idgl.'r J\sc lic11 hcrg, l mcrnat ional Cr c itl iv c Mana gc m c ,nr 4 0
Wn t 7 d, Su m. Ncw York.N Y. . 10 01 'l . 1 he stagc perfor m ance rig h1S of 7alley e!r Son, 7irl/CJ'Í ol' llya, n d l'r/ih of
J1.191 11cc on tr o llcd C'Xd usivcly hy die 1) ram :-i t iSl\, l hiy Scn •ic c , l nc., 4/40 Park Aven uc Sout h, NY 1 00 1 6.
NcwYor ,k
Nop r o fsr 'uii n; il or 101 11- profcssiona l p crÍI H nu nct· of t hc play (i11d uJ in g fi rs r- d ass prorcssiuna lp er froma nce ) m ay
he g vi cn w i htou 1o b rai n i nJ! in ad vanee 1hc wri ttcn pcrm íssion of th c Dr una rists Phty Scrvcic , n1e .. andp ay
in g t hc rcq11 i. i te fcc.

Fifih 0/ /119\ 7irll ey & Son. ,md 7allJe' ¡ Poli;,

r c pr i 1Hcd by pcrm ís.sion of I IHI ;md \'(/ang, ;1 d i visío11 of Farrar. Srraus & Giorux , !ne.

l"ijih o/Juf;, © 197 9 by l.1// ifiml \Vilso11, rrviscd © 1982 hy l l//ifi"-d \Vi/son.
7irll c¡,; Foil,, © 197 9 Jb', / onjiml \Vi/son.
lállry e!r Son ©1986 ,b¡ L,urfard \Vi/son, rwiserl ©1995 by lanford \Vilso11.
A 7irlr 1i,lt! ©!981 by l.onford \Vi/son.

Bnok dcsgi n 11111/ prorlurtiou hy ju/ú, Hi/L Gignoux, Freednm l-lí/1 Design

T he Librnr y o f Co ng rcss Úl talogin g - ln -Pub lication Data

\Xl il.wHJ. l.:111ford. 19 .37-
1 l'l ;i ys. d ccrio 11s ]
L1nlord Wilson: 1 hc T 1llcy tr ilo gy. - l st cd.
p. crn . - (C:on r c m por"ry playw rig h ts mies, ISS N 10 67- 95 1 O)
C o 111 cms: Fií, tl oí Jnl y- · 1;,11cy & So 11- T :1 llcy's Folly- i\ ·r:,lc To ld.
IS II N 1 -57 525 - 1 J J -7 / 978- l - 'i7525 - l 33 - 2 (papc r)
1. Ti tlc. 11. Ser ies.
l' SJ 'i?.3.14 58!16 1 9%
8 l 2'.5/4- dc20 %-1909
C II'
 THE TALLEYS
FIFTH OF }ULY
Ca l vin Stuart Tal ley - m. Ma rgueri te (dec.: J 924)

1 For Fr an k And ers o n

Stua r t Eldon - C ha do
cte (dec.: 1 91 7 ) m. Netca

Sally - Kcnn eth (Buddy) - Tirnochy

m. Mace Fricdrn a n 111. O li ve (dec.: 1944)

Jun c Ken nech J r. -

m. Jed

Sh i rlcy

J)I
 INTRODUCTION

T he genesis of Fifth of Ju/y, and whac wo u ld develo p i n rn rh e Talley plays,

occurrecl in about rh e same ílu rry o f clisorga n ized fr ustrat io n as a distressi
--.s::,
ngly large pro po n io n of my wo rk . In o r her wo rd s [ was flo un cleri ng, lo
ok i ng for a ny id ea rhat would drive a weclg e i nco ch is sol id blo ck of an gc r
. .o . and cli smay
e:
o
.¡ j :incl alarm and , well, fr11stratio11 1 was ex perie nci ng a r che co m place nr sta te
u
: :1 of rhe councr y after rh e accivism of che 60s and carly 70s. .For ye u s solcl iers
-.oo... haJ been reru rn i n g fro m Vietna m co jo in rhe peace move mem ancl tell us ju sc
o...
>-- how bacl ir was over rh ere. T he en ri re srnJ en t body o f che co untry, every an
@ isr 1 lrnew, had been eir her protestin g or fleei ng. A n d fin a lly r he war was over.
o...
B l t see med co ca ke years bue Americ a had fin a ll y Íln is hed pu lli ng our r roo ps
o the hell out of there. Ir was finall y rh e aclm issio n of a rragic, i mm o ral er
eºu -·-e: ror. Sra tesmen , missi ng rh e poi ne mag n ifice n dy, r ried co ca ll o ur sig n i ng
..., o f a cc:ise Íl re ag reement a vicco ry. We knew exac tly what i t was and didn't ca
.... "
K i o 1, re as long as ir was over. Bue th en wha t ofren ha ppens in defeat: T he co un t ry
l'.J QJ seemed willi n g co forg ive in o rd er to forget a nd th c war was ali bur forgo tt en,
ü.... e
pushcd und er rh e rng. Our solcli ers reru rned , ma ny of rhem years larer, fro m
hospi
rals, ro a co ld sho u lder and a psychiarr isr, ro g ro u p therapy a nd si lence.
iJü ;,... Srud enr protesters shu t up, grad uarecl, and sra rred lo o ki ng for goocl jo bs. T he
QJ ...o
--5 ai r skillfu ll y hacl been ler o m of rh e bell- bur romed balloo n a ncl i r hacl su nk
e: G\
- © beh i nd so me hi ll, unn o ric ed. O ne almosr ha cl to admi re r he bea u t i fu
::1 ..e:: ll y fi nessed betrayal o f che peace movemem. Amcric a has a way of cu rn i ng
l:
B gi so me r h i ng fin e into bun k- o r more li kely i n ro a buck. l f African-A

..eo::
. ,S I! mericans, fi nally in unio n, c ry, " Black is bea u ri fu l," wi r h i n a week i r wiU
be a new shade of li pscic k. We had been si ngi ng " We Wi ll O verco me" for
-o years, bue we haJ no r ov erco me, we had been ove rco me, ancl [ dicln'r know qu i
@ te ho w i r had been achieved.
i
o
To illu strat e ju st how fa r we've craveled From mean i n g fu l acci vism, no
, l: r ice how quai n t, o ld- hac, t i rcsome, and re trog rade a li rhar sound s no w.
l was as co nt ent personally as l had bcen in a lo ng tim e. I had a dece nr
lo ve lif e, rh e ho use I had boughc and sran ed to resrore ftv e years earli er was
al mo sc ha bi t able, my work was bei ng seen ali ove r the count ry a nd sri ll 1
c.,"
QJ
felr- w hac? mislead , decei vecl. T he life we hacl envisioned afcer rhe wa r had
Ke: bcen degracled, d is mi ssecl; che well hacl becn ca i nrecl. We had go ne fro m
V) Ke nn edy to Jo hn son co N ixo n, rh ro ugh Wa rerga re, ro 'T m no t a Li ncol n ,
G' l 'm a Forcl." lc's weir d to be al mosc perfrcrly co nrent ancl srill see1h i ng. O h,
@ well. ..
z O ne beau tiful n ig hc rn y lo ver an d I were wal ki n g a roun cl W ashi n g
con Square Pa rle. M ay be we had co me fro m d i n n er or were on ou r way. H e
had been readi ng a book o f Eskim o my chs. (He was l i ke thac.) He was very
sc ri o us as he ro ld me, scraig hr- faced, che sto ry of an Arccic H e ro who had
saved rhe food supp ly of h is fam i ly by a means so vile chey co uld n't ear it a mi
s,
2 LA N FO R D \XI I I .S O
N
F I FT I
I OF J
lJ I
 r hey ha d a ll srarved tod c at h. T he story, if you look ar i t rgi hr h ila r oi us.
, si Irsi
aslo p e r fce ytl ir on ic. And it oc c urr ed to me rhat n ig h t that ir was also
ana p t
m e ca p ho r for our inv ol vemen t in th at damn war. I wrot e justt har s ce ne :
rhe r ell in g of c he Eskirno myt h. The i m pud ent com men ts that are i ncrep
o la te d
inroWes r on s' r elli n g of th e sto ry are roug h ly my t1l hrs asc he rnyrh was
o gu
r cal tc d to m e chatn i g h t. 1 had no cha rac te rs, just rhe tellre of the s to ry and
r he li s ten e r s ' rude remark s, about: a three -page scene. 1ca rrie d t be
notebook a roun d for w ee ks. Ir also conrai necl a sccne chac eig h teen yea,rs lraer beca
me
s ce ne tw o of Sympa th etic Magic. 1 t ho ught maybe the .Eskimos ce ne took
p lace in t he frien d l y con f-l n es of the art de parrme nc of ana dve rtis in g
agency
1 ba cl workecl for inC h i c ago . 1 beli eve .1 changecl tbe loc a.le becua.s e l r
houg hc j o hn Lee Bea r ,ry C i rclc Rep' s br i lli a nt ser clesig ner, wou ld
beco mp le r eyl u n i necr es te cl in de si g n in g an art clepa.rtm ent. Now l
aml os t wish l ha cnl 't
c ha nge d ir,he wouldh a.ve d esig necl a wo nd erful art dpe arrmen r. T he
loca le changecl to Long ls la nd ; I had wa nt ecl to writ e sornerh i gn r ha t
tookp al ce
r hc r c s in ce I fris t saw th c place. Maybe o ne of those big ole! oh uses. The c
ba r acrers ( I s t i ll d i cnl 'r k now who che y wcre) wo u ld be resror ni g r he p
lace, as I wasr es to r in g m y ho usc. 1 cen ai n ly k new a bout that.
Theywou l d bebu i l d
in g a ga r de n, working on thc la nd . T he play wou ld be one of restoration
and
co rnmicm c m. ht i ng rhc counrr y sorely needed . I wasa lmos t s uprr
Some
w he n I r ea li ze cl that rh e play had to be ser in my ho me town ofLe b
ano,n
M si s ou r . i T h ha d to be abou c rb e hea rtland. The ho sue w ou l cl nor neces
si
sa r i yl be in d is r e p a i r, bue Jcd wo u ld be a bo ca n ist a nd woulcl be bu il
d in g a
g::irclc n.
T ha t s u r nin cr I a cc cptcd thc job of tca chi ng a pla ywrgi hr nig cou r s e at
Sou t ha rnp 1 0 11 Co cg. 1 am no t a tcacher. T he reason I wriec a bou r ccac hcr s
lc
s o ( 1r 1c 11 rnus 1 be 1h a1I :1d111i rc th cm eno rmo us ly and chi nk goodteac he rs
are il1c hc rosc or
ou r 1i rnc .T h crc have bccn four who cerrainly we r e
ce n t r a l ro
n y1 l i cí ·s' p a t h. l s ho ul J h avc askcd somconc how to teach orarlea s t
hacl thc
sc ri s l.'. to 111: r kc :i s y;ll ilw s. 011 th c Íir st day 1 told tbe class everyrhingI
kne w
da rn goo d writer. T he majority oí che class was accua ll y very ra lenr ecl. T he
on ly ching I fel c bad abouc was chei r ce ac her.
O ne day I was gi ven a l i ft ho me by a sweec, heauci fu1, riny, i nfur ia ci ng
pest of a girl who cl rove me crazy, usually srn n<li ng ar che back of rh e clas s:
Teac her: C arey, wou lcl you c are to sir dow n ?
Stuclent: I ca n'c I got chis really bicc hy rnsh on my
ass chat 's k ill i ng me.
Teac hcr: W cll, you're driving me crazy r1dgeti ng
aroun d back rhere.
Stu denr: That's your prob lcm.
She was so flip ancl uni nreresrecl, sca ri ng o u t th e wi nclow, chewi ng gun,
playing wi rh her lu ir, rhar I should have expecced rhar her pla y, thr ee pages,
t o rn frorn a sp ira l no cebook, wr i tcen in Fainc penci l, wo uld be che bese work
t he class clic! ali summer. Anyway, she d rove rne ho me. In rh e cou rse of con
versat io n, cli scussi ng che class, J said chat Da vid (1'11 c all h i m) was really a
rcma rkably goo cl- looki ng man . " Reall y?" she repl ied, 'Tve never loo ked ar h i
m. 1 don'c ch ink people li ke rhac li ke to be looked a t."
si e Thar chi ll i ng remark was che bcgi nn i ng of Fifth of jufy. T ha t was the
d
weclge rhac fina lly spli r open rh e knot of a li l had been feeling ancl had not
known how to app roach. Al mo sc everyrhi n g in che play ca n be crace cl co chac
riele ho me.
I cook David out for coffee. 1 told him l want ed to write a play abouc
so meo ne who had come hom e i nju recl. D avid hacl had his legs blo wn off in
a lancl mi ne acc iden r- rho se devic es our go vern menr c urr end y mai ncai ns ar e
essencial to i rs securi ty. He said che only other person who had aske d him how
he had been injurecl was a nurse in che hos pi ral where he was srat io ned
in E nglancl. T hey had been ma rri ed now th ree years ancl were exp ecting th ei r
, 1 ho 1r t p la y wr i g h 1i 11 g . Arrd th crc was s ti ll half an hour cl ft in
rhe period. I
 do 11'twl ow h 11w I s 1 uu crcd t h roug h chat su mm er se mcst er bur l m' pr c tt y Í1r st ch ild. ·
s u r e 1 d id11'1 foo l ,1nyo rr c.
I colcl bim I was rhinking of maki n g my cha racce r gay. H e said, " Well,
/\1 110 11 µ 11y, s tud cr11s was a stunn i ug ly hanclsome man who had hacl don 'c make him a clo wner, I'm so sick of a ngry, depressecl, bi cte r vers in
both pla ys." I said I was sic k of cle pressed gays in plays (o ne of rhem my own) a11cl
k· , ¡.; h low 11 o (( I\J< ( :1ho vl', Ll c lrnce) i n Viet nam . He wa l ek d w i t h was rh i nki ng of rh e play as a comecl y. One where che chara ccer's homos exu a
twoa lu - li ry was hardly mencio ne cl, and was cerra i n l y noc an issue. I prom isecl to give
1 11 ÍJ111 11 u · 11c1 hcs, ch 11 t:ri11g l i kc a c rab across rh e room. He
ays al him a lov er as suppo rcive and gorgeous as D avi d's wi fe.
wasa wl te
h t,t: 11 1 8t'
i1t oo k h im l crngcr to gct from class to dass, and (ma clde n ) he lt hacl first been my i n ten cio n ro rnake che char ac te r of Kenn eth qui ce
in g yl
a lw , tys loo k : 1 s ca t by tl1c wi nd ows- across che room fromt he door. Thc effem in ate: gesrur es so hu ge ancl sweepi ng rhar he was foreve r lo si ng h is bal
clsas
w : 1s s i k- rtr a s hc d a n gcd chccr· fi.rll y to li is chai r, i out al{imbow ir ance a nd falli ng over. Bue in che writi ng ic wo uld n't happ en. D avi d's s1c1: dy
hips fyl g h
n
cac h s r c p, a 1 1d. : llw i t lr :,r g rTat crash . T hcn lie breat hecl a celcp, ex hau s tc d sense of humor ancl d ig n i ty ancl proportion kepr asse rt i ng icself 011 111y cha r
s gi h
acce r. And o ne of che rhin g s he sa id frig hcenccl him rh e most was ía ll i n g ov cr
ro r cli d 'a, 1ds :ii J, sclí dcprccat i ng l y, d cscri bing what hemus e loo k li ke to
thc
calss, " C:lar c ha eh. a." 1 k l r,rd a wo nclcrfu l sense of humora n clwa s a
pr c tt y

4 L A N FO RO W I I. .S O N F f FT I I 011 j l ) I
 bac kwra c.ls " Your' e compleccly hclp less ancl i t's a bi cc h to gecbac k up.You teena gers cill s he was weU i n to her ch i n:ies. T he par e of Gwen had becn wr i c
have toc r aw l co a big heavy cha ir fo r s uppo rc, ancl i t sri ll isn'c easy." ten for Tris h Hawki ns. I wa nced Tr ish in cve ry play [ wrore . l was cru shed
T h is p lay wasw ricten whcn C i rcle Rep was at i cs moscg ol r iou s. when she couldn'c do ic. Ma rshall and I choughr we wou ld have ro go ou c of
Actors we r e inc he office ali thc time; 1 al most never Jefe. M uch of ceh p lay che company to replace her. We held aud i tions wic h i n rh e company first, bu t
wasw r ic tcnw i t h actorsb la b b i ng away in i:he room, ali bue lookign ove r wi th lo w expecrati ons. Nancy Snyd er blew us coca lly away. She gave one of
mys hou l cel r.
Eve ry ,d in g s ee m e cl to feed rhe play, noc jusr the energy of theo ffiec, a n those a uclicions wh ere the only ch i ng co say is you've goc the pan:, we don'r
d of
p e op le corn ing from one of Mar sha ll's rehearsaJs, bue when writingsi g o neecl ro read anyone else. We've been lucky wi rh 1hat role. W lien Nancy
in g w c, l eve r y r h in g seems ro perca i n ro yo ur work. O ne ofo urboa r d m could n't move to Broad way she was replacc d by Swoozíe Kur tz who won rhe
e m bers
wasa n acco un ca He came to a meet i ng early, ex.haus ced,s ay in g w ha Tony thac year (deservedly) for bese s upp orri ng ac cress.
n. r c a
w ee ke n d he ' clha H is dad (also an account an t) hacl cli ecl duee y ea rs ago Ali cluri ng rehearsals I kept wo rkin g on t he scri pc. T he focus was sl igh cl y
.d and
h is m or he r ha clb een carryi ng ch e ashes a rouncl eve r si They ha d fina y off- Gwen was ru nnin g away wi d, che show, a nd [ could n'c seem to ca rne
nc. e ll
g o te e n her to dump them in che la ke. On the way back fromch e la ke, w her. le cli dn't ma cce r; che play opened i n lace A pril and was re peacedly
alk
in g tot be ca ,r s he h ad a sc roke. No t a big one, jus t a milcl lri crl s t roke, bue extend ed to run chrough che summ er.
s he ' clbee n a r ched occo 'r s office ali clay. T hat wenr into d1 ep aly d hc ancl Almo sc rwo years larc r, more rhan a year afrcr che play had been pub
1a c n gi
wasc he in ic ia c io n of a nic e offm ige charac ce r na mecl Mace Fr ie clman li s hed, Go rclo n Davidson, Arrisrí c O i rec cor of che Mark T1per Poru m in Los
(a n accou nt a nt ).
A ngeles, saw Ta/ley · Folly a nd saicl he w:rn t e d to produ ce bod1 ch e pb ys .i n
1 w r oce fors pec ific actors in che company. Helen Scenobr g, rocaci ng rep. He askcd i f rhere were an y cha nges I wancc cl co make in l fih u/
ofcou rse, .July. l firsc said no, bu e when 1 reread che play l reali zed i mm ediat el y ho w tO
a n d se ve r a ! 1 ha d n' c workecl wi Lh before. M y ver wo u ld eb a new come r refocus ic more rowarcl Kenny, a ncl to whar l had been trying to say ali along.
to the corpna ny, Bill 1-:lu rt;h is love r wo u ld be Jeff Daniels who had ebc n
so brillianc
in The Farm d year befare. Da n ron Stone hacl a rnoment,on yl a se co n , cl So rne of G wen's funn iesc li nes had to be sacri fi.ced (a killer, chat ), bue i n che
ei in
111 1 :r. M urm /s Farm, where he was moment aril y confused . T ah t ha d s end i c's closer now co whac l was cryi ng to say.
ugges te d s omeone I m e e inW oodstock; ch e guy was an actor bue Im e e so Afce r every openi ng n ighc ac C i rcle Rep a c rew cleare d away che chai rs
rnanymu s i c i: u 1s t he re c ha c I n, acle rn y co nfu sed, bcrnu sed, characcre a co a nd we had a party. A loucl, d a nc i ng, loc s-of- food -an d- win e, party. One of
mp os e r. Int he
Írls t drarLI cli dn ' th ave names for die cha racte rs. T hey we ell d Billa n d Je ff our party regulars was the excellen t d i rector ancl c rici c H arold C l urm an.
reca
a 11d Da n to n a n d Joh n- 1 never clid come up wi rh anot her anme forch e Jo Bei ng a cheater man and fond of ch e compa ny, hé fel t norh i ng of parryin g wit
hn 1 1ogan c ha r cter.
h us ali n ighc rhen ri ppi ng our heads off in pri nr. He always had a collec rion of
T he Írls Lr ca d in g -o- f che scri pt was thr i lling. T he actors hadknown gi rls around him who promp ced h i m to cell fa nciful s rories a ncl give
t he ir
: ha r : 1c tc rs formo n ths, just wai ti ng forme to fin is h ches c r ip c.I r i t imprompcu lectur es on aspeccs of che th ear er and a re in general. On one of
ha cwl ten
S h ir lyc (¡ ¡ r !\my W right , a n acc ress I hacl jusc talked too n t he s cr ee ,c noc a chese open in gs Harold was ca l ki ng ab ouc c ornrn i tme nr. O ne of che gi rls said,
111 \.in' her or I he co rn pa ny. Shc i ntrod uc ecl he rself and said ah d p la y e d " Lan ford is wriring a play about comm ic men r." Ha rold s aid, "O h, 1 don'c
seh The
( : i r ! in l !n t , / ,h 1 d bn · n hr i llai th c yea r bcfore. 1 askecl how she had been in ic.S he s a i d s he 111 or cour se. She was so vi brant and
excicni g I knew l w a n te cl care wh at a play is abo u t, just so lo ng norher openi ng, 1 cole! him I was ju sc abou c fin ished wi rh my " joyous"
as i t's joyous!" A few monrh s larer, ac a play,
wl 1 in n y1 p al s. S h c: was probab ly 1w e n ty-two and Shi rlye was fou rete n, bue bue I wasrú ce rcai n how i r wo uld e nd. " Ir mu st end joyously!" he said, clien
y
w .h u t h · h lI' I. /\11 th c m hcr acro rs we re deeply into chei r rcaters a n d p grabb ed my a rm , and growled very seriousl y, " Bue whar h ap penecl ro che play
cah lay
in g t hc d vc: i l out or t hc m 011 th e fir st read i ng- Marshall ha d you were wri ci ng abo u t comm ir menc?"
encouraged wil m ! HH 1 0u y 10 act un les,s 1 11 i mpul se carne to rhem ancl iJ Whar a fine man he was, ancl wh ac an i nspi rat ion. I prom ised mysel f the
tbachapp ene cl
f i ir Co d s' s : 1kc wi th it. /\ m y ju st reacl- d ull wo rd s. I waswa tc h in g he r next co rnedy, rhe nexc " joyous" play I wror e, 1 wo ulcl clecli cate to Harold
og ve ry
· lo s dy nsI was, il c.: n11l y onc i n th c comp any who kn ew hre. Towardch e e Cl urm an.
nd
or L he írsi 1: st h c.:l oo leed an rn11d a ncl s eemed to real ize chats he wa s r ú s how-
c1
i 1g1 M ars h :ill (w l 10d id n'L kn ow h er from Eve) or anyo ne esle- an yc h in g. So
s he LOoka dc pc h rea, d , glar ed dag gers ar me, cu t loase, and justa m aez d
.:
eve ry one. S he was so co11 vi nci11g in t he pare f ' m afraid ic c usre d her with playing

6 LANFORD W,l l SO N FI FT II OF J U l , Y 7
 O R I G I N A L P R O O U C TC O N C H A RAC T E RS

KENNETH TALLEY, J R., had both legs blo wn off seven years ago in th e
Fifih of fuly was first prcscnted by che C i rcle Repert o ry Co m pa yn in New Yo
V ietnam War. He is 32, suong, goo d-loo k i ng and a to uch cy n ic al, bue
r k C ir , yo n April 27, 1 9 7 8. lt was clir ected by Ma rshall W: M asan; ches c
t nor deepl y.
r in g wa s b y Joh n Lec BcaLry; cost u m es were by Laura C row; gli ht ni g J ED J EN K I NS, 25, h is lov er. Larger, srro nge r; an al mosr silent lisrener.

was by Mar c. B. We i ss; the origi nal so n g was by Jo na th an Hogan; sou nd J UNE TALLEY, 34, Ken's siscer.
wa s by C huc k L ondo n. T he cast, in o rclcr of app eara nce, was as follows: SH IRL EY TALLEY, 1 4, her da ug hre r.
Ke nn eth T al ley, Jr. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . W i ll ia m Hurt J O H N LANDIS, 33, chilclhood friend of rhc Talleys.
oJ hn Landis. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Jonathan Hoga GWEN LANOIS, 33, his wi fe. Racy.
n WEST O N H UR LEY, 2 5, com poser friend of G wen and Joh n. Lisre ns lace .
GwenL and is . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Nanyc Sny der SALLY FRIE D MAN , 64, Ken and Jun e's Au n r. Nor really bacry; preoccup ied.
eJ d eJn k i ns . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Jeff Oa n
iesl
Ju nc Ta ell y . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Joyce Reehlni
g
S h i rel yT alley. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Amy Wright SCENE

Sa l yF ri ed man . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Helen Ste n borg T he Talley place, a farm near Lebano n, Missouri
W es ot n H u rlcy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Dan ton
Ston e

( Fi i f h r!f}uly ran a t C i rcle Rcpcrrory C o m pany for 168 pc rform ance s.

TlME
Fort
he las t fo urt een weeks Ken was playcd by T i mo thy Shcl ton.)

F[fih ofjuly was s ub s e q uen tly prcsent ed by Jcrry Arrow, Ro bcrt Lu sseir and
W a rne r P rod uc tions, lnc. a r t he New Ap ollo T heatr e, i n N ew York Ci
,ty on Nov e m be r 5, 1 980 . le was agai n d i rected by M ar shall W M asa n;t
he s e ttin g
was by oJ h n L ee B eatty ; costu m es were by Laur a C row; l ig was Ac t 1: Ea rly even i ng, l nd ependence Oay, 1 9 77
h t i gn yb
D c nn is Par ci h y; hr e soun cl by Ch uck Lo nd on; ami rh e p rod uct oi n s tage /\et II : T he following mo rn i ng
m ana egr was Fred Re i n g las. The case, in orcler of appearan ce , was as
follows: Kc nn ct:h ..follcy, Jr.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . C hr isto
pher Ree ve *
eJ d cJn k i ns . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Jeff Oaniels
oJ hn L a nd is . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Jonathan Hag a n
Gwc n L a nd is . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Swoos ie Kunz
Junc Ta llcy .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Joyce Reehlni g
S h ir l cyT; dlc y . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Amy Wr ig ht
S ;i llyF ri cd m;i n . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Mar y Car ver
W cs t o n 1 1.ur lcy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Danton Stone

* f rtter succeeded by Ri chard Thomas

 •'

F I FT I I ()¡: J U I ,
8 LANFORD WII .SO N
 K EN. Jo hn is showi ng Gwe n h is ho me1own, wh ic h should rake abour 1en
mi n u tes.
I ED. T hey ca me down ro sce me th is afre rnoo n. John was bragg i ng abou r
th ei r garden in Ca rm el. Ir really pissed me off. 1 was rh rowi ng rha r

Fifth of laven der over my back, che wh ole gard en s rnells li ke a n Engli sh
barhh ouse. C hec k it out early. lr' ll be grown over by noon. (K isses

July
him.)
KEN . H oly God, yo u smell terrific.
J F. O. Co me o n, und er rh a r fragrancc l ' m as rank as a goal. You look l i kc
you' re in greac sha pe.
KEN. Oh, l'm fine . On a scale of one 10 ren, I'm abouc to show up on che
ACT ONE cha rc any mi nur e now.
The set ist he farge m11 porchljiunil,y room ofa prospem w southernM J'ED. How mu c h dicl you drink lasr n igh r?
issour i fannho11se bui!t r1ro11nd J 865.
KEN. Muc h. You have no idea how li tcle yo u rn is sed by goi ng ro bed.
J l D. T hac was rhe poi ne.
iíé\ seet he wide doors lo a h11flwr1y 11pstage, anda str1i oign up. At one KEN. You made tha c clear.
rwr1gy
side, doors open to a porch that wmps r1round most or ali of thehouse. J ED. 1 rrie d.
l( EN. We wake you?
The room is Ji rni shed with I wo matching armchain, tables, a eds k. 11 0 . Not me.
Kens i ts att he des k. H e is w,y h11ng 011e1; and ú1 this state tends to be KEN. Even you. Eve n che dead. T he l ir rle people in the wood. 1 d icln 'r ger ro
baln d l,y rny ica l bed rill fiv e-rh i rty. Ali che bir ds werc havi ng fir s. "Ge t che hell off rh ar
H e isl itsen in g to a smaf/ port,1ble tape reco1di11g. Th e recordnig bo nesr, get clown i n ro th e gard en and gcr me a bug. " Go r u p a r ren, cha r's
is oaf y
whosp er t ks wiJh grert/ h esil tllion, mangling words so badl,yno t hin g six- rh i rty, seven- chir ty-
isim e f
fig i b fe to . !((!// fistew , 11111kes 11otes, mbs his eyes ami head Thereis J LO. Four and a hal f. Die! you eac?
11 the
s
so 111d1 ofdis, t mt f, recmckers. Foflou1ed by dogs barki11g. Ken turns off KE N. 1 had co ffee, I did n'r even recogn ize it.
the
l" ffo 1d i 11g.r eal i z es what the 11oise is, fooks back to the recordnig, he r t he

rewindsa bit of it; turm it 011 rtgai11.

Jerl romes up olllo the porch.

1 1-:1) . l . igln 's goi ng, 1 '111 abour hal f' bl i n cl.
K l N. (7im1i11g the rccorrli11g o.ff) Whar say?
1 E l .) Do 11'ts LO. p 1 h :iv c to go hack d own. I said the li gh t'sg onig ; can't
seea 1 h i11 g do wn t hcrc.
lü : N . Whcrc h:iv c you bccn h id i ng a l! a fternoon ?
J·l : I . ) /\,w 1 l 1c. l upid hc,rl gard c11 is go i ng rank. T he la vne dc r 'sa lio t
j ED. You cak e yo ur pi lls? J ED. You s till feelin g sorry for your sel f?
K F. N. A fcer lasc nighr my sysrem wo11l d go inro shock i f I sen t clown one K EN. (Pawe. Leve/.) l wou ldn'r pur ir qu i te li ke rhar.
more chemica l. Ued gets up.) Yes, yes. 1 took rny vicam i ns, I roo k my min J ED. How would you pur i r? ( Pause.) li's been rwo weeks. You've had ti me ro
erals, I rook rn y prorei n and I took my birrh co nt ro l pi ll- Now, if only I had recover by now.
sornech i ng ro sra rr i t ali moving. l've been up al rn osr rwel ve hou rs, my KEN. T he i ncidenr ro wh ic h you refcr merely served as an i llu s t ra t ion of
hearc hasn'r bearen more chan fiv e ti mes. someth i ng of wh ic h l 've been awar c for sorne ri me . (They fook lit ead1
tly1 11c, tlc a11gcl ici' s flopp i ng ali over thc germ a nclcr. Whe r e a re other, mild Mexican sttmdojf.)
1 1 y our
l wo fi·ic11d ? Uerl m te1:r h ow c.)
J ED. You gec res1y you sean sou nd i ng li k e a bad rexrbo
ok. KEN. l'rn nor tesry.

ro Fl FT I I OF J U i ,Y 11
 J ED. Whar are you? inco d ifferent -sized spaces rh ar are c:1lled rooms. And each room is
G \X!EN. ( O ff) Hon ey, clic! yo u call that prick in Nsa hvi l e ? treacecl d ifferen cly- a poo l oran herb gard en, a rose garden, ere.
J O HN. ( O ff) N egari ve, we're rak i ng cli nn er wirh him tomorrow h t. GWEN. And you're scarcing seven foor walls wi th plants J can't even see? You
ate gi KEN. Did he say "negarive"? Dcar God. coulcln'c huy grown plan rs?
J ED. l'II close thc cloor. JED. Nor rhe variety I wanr. 1 hav e ro go mm off rh e wa ter.
KEN. W'c II ralk tomorrow aftc r rhey'vc gone l(E N. He baby-sat che cut tings ali winter. Turned rhis sun porch into a
. J ED. Coul d l havc rh a r in wri rin g? green hous e. He closed off che resr of rh e house, ju sr li ved in rhis
room a nd che
J OH N. ( Enters .) Hey, Teach er. O h, h i, Jecl- you shoul d havc srayedup. ki i:chen.
Wc GWEN. You guys spent the wi nter here?
hacl a parry lasr ni gh r.
J ED. I was here chis wimer. Ken was in St:. Louis.
J ED . (Still !ooking at Ken.) So I hcar. G WEN. Wait a mi nut e. \V"hac am r hearing? Whac's rh c:
G\X!EN. ( D ea d s top on porch.) Oh, Gocl! J have ncver becn ats uc h p eace in d i rr1 KEN. 1 carne do\"n here rhree or four ri mes.
rny l i fc!
JED. Twice.
JO HN. \X!c've bccn everywh crc.
G \XE! N. (E11teri11g.) 1 wa n L you ro know rh is afternoon I KEN. Jecl carne up to Se. Louis rhr ee or four ti mes.
ah on i ts ass. vese r y ou r rown
JED. Five. 1'11 be right back. (Exits.)
J O HN. Don'r kid your scl f. Lc, b1110 11, Missour i, has been 011 i ts ass fora GWE N. Whar kincl of lover sirs clown here alone :1II wi nrer rooring hedges?
hun- cl recl and Ftfty ycars. KEN. A botan ical lover.
G WE N . I love thc way you pcople l i ve. (Kissesj ed.) JOHN. Broke your heart, righc? Don'r forger we kn ow you.
J OHN . We b rough t back mun chi cs for everyboyc.l KEN. (Fla ttering him self ) No.. . no, co me on. l' m noc as wild as we·used co
J ED. J havc to go turn off the wa ter. (S i ts on so fo., pu.ts on shoes and socks.) be. GWEN. Oh, sure. Alone in Se. Lou is ali wi nrer.
GWEN. (Ass he hands out bwgers rmd fries.) Hey, I forgot to ask: \X!hat are l<EN. Listen- Gwen- stop fly i ng a roun cl. (They do rather.) l' ve been chink
the lirtl c red flags1 i ng since you called. How serious are you abo ur buy i ng a place clown
J ED. What l i ttle red fl,1gs? here for your new sru dio?
JO H N. WhaL li trlc red flags? GWEN. Oh, man , we have gocta have our own srud io.
C \X!EN. T h csc swccr l i ttle red flags that are in rows all over theh i l l. JOHN. The sruclios in Nashv i lle bleed you dry. You wou ldn't bel ieve ic.
l ( E N. O,h Go d! T har 's were Jed has plan red eh l<EN. I may !u ve a propo siri on for you. lf we could cal k abou c rh is befo re Jed
h is- dges.
C W l·:N. 1 lcd gets back up here.
gcs.
J -1: 1. ) T h a't s 0 .K. In Gv c yea rs you' II be ab le to see chep JOI-IN. What' s on you r mind?
l. uris.
C W l N. l lon c , y yo u rh i nk yo u'v c expla ined somet h i ng ro me , don't KE N. I know rhi s place is a wreck, but actu all y an y place yo u find would
you? Jr's have ro be completely rebu il t before you cou lcl use ir for a recorcli ng sru
110 1 Ll1at l ' in slow; ! '111 ju sc not horticutl
dio wou lcl n'c ic?
uar !. 1< 1·'.N. H e' s 111ak i ng a n Engli sh garden.
J UN E. (Entering room ji-om 11pstai rs. Carri es p11rse.) I rh ought I hear d you
C WEN . (/ h jerl.) You rc ll me.
/ ln•: . l·'.ach ll:1g i s whcrc I plan red a come back. So Kenny, are we doi ng ch is?
curcnig.
: w 1 N. Ycali ? C W l •: N. l too ms.
J l• '..I) A row o( rn11 i11gs wi ll grow into a hedge. T he hegdes w il l
divide che g:1 rd c11 in10 roo1 ns.
GWEN. Oh grear. You haven'c gone ye . l reall y ma_d e John burn rubber. GWEN. You know. The fun eral clown by rh e river- Nommy yo-ho; Krisna
!(E N. Gone where? yommy yom rny-
J E I ). Evc 11u1 :1lly c h n lgcs wi ll be helcl ar seven feet tall; clividing thega r l(E N. No, no, soon.
ht den GW EN. Good, because l'm coming along.

1 2 LANFORD W II .SO N
F I FTH O F JU I Y 1 ¡
 14 LANFORO WI LSO N

J UN E. Oh, sweethear c. You clon't wam to do rhat, reall y.

G\XIEN. Liste n, Ma tt Friecl man was very i mp orra n t ro me too; l mean
eh really st rai ghtened me out. He was li ke a levd i ng in A uence.
Like he told
me not ro rake flyi ng lcsso ns. He kept tryin g to i mpr ess on me thar l
have a grave responsibili ty.
KEN. I e cli dn'r mean hi s, Gwcn.
GWEN. You're qu ick. He was reall y pissed because Scbw a rrzkoff, rhe bas
tarcl, a ppoinr ed his wifc's nephew to ha ndle the trus t. And if thar's nor
neporism, .like by d efin i rion, 1 clon't know what is.
KEN. (To Cwen.) Oh, that remind s me. You hav e a stack of phone calls.
"Wh ile you were ou t."
JOHN. (Crosses to C we11. ) Later. Larer. Honey, we got to get cl ressed if
we're goi ng to rh is shin clig.
KE N. l t's hard ly a sh i ndig.
J UN E. T here's no reason for you rwo ro-
C WEN. (l ooking out.) Wou ld you look ar th ar fucki n' sunset! (Wés enters
Jimn kitchm , exits u¡mairs.)
KEN. Gua ranreecl every n ight .
J UNE. Aunt Sally cloesn't show i c, but she's reall y u
pset KEN. T here's no reason for you to come.
J UN E. There's no ceremony.
J O HN . No, Gwcn's gota real bug up her ass. She's been talki ng abou t it ali
a Fternoon .
G WEN . No Sh i c. Li ke I fecl a respons i bili ty, you kn ow? ( Hends far
stairs.)
J UNE. There's no reaso n-
GWEN. (leaving; si nging.) Rock ofAges. Cleft- cleft fot me. Let me hiele.
Uolm gooses hn Gwm screams. Laughs. Shirley nppears, sneaki ng afier
them . Velps 11nd n m s off whm sh e sees June.)
JU NE. Sh i rlcy! Shi rley! (Gi11es up, getJ pi/Is out of purse.) Why didn 't you
tell me those rw o wcre comin g clown herc?
l( E N. 1 beli cve I clic!.
J UNE . Don'r get cur e. (7r1kes pill with wine.)
KEN . T hcy'II be gon c tomorrow.
J UN F,. 1 shou ld ha ve ta ken Sh i rley some where. Down to Branson for a
cou plc oí" days.
K l N. l l ow of1 c11 do yo u scc d rcm ?
JU NE . Evcry si ngle yc r for rhc lasr fi ve years they've showed up- always
just ha ppen i ng Lo ar ri ve0 11 Sh i rlcy's bi rrhd ay. Loaded clown with
presents.
KEN. Very sub rlc.
 J UNE. Very cure.
t<EN. Be rh an kful he doesn'r come on Farh er's Da)'.
J UN E. (Shírley núght overhear.) Shhh! T he walls have ears. She's play i ng Maca Hari roclay.
(Pause.) Oh, to hell wich h i m. Ar least you've fin all y srraighr ene cl yourself ouc.
l( EN. Certainl y not.
J UNE. In Sr. Louis you were never home when I callee!.
KEN. You don 't have ro look om for me any more, sis. [' m a big boy.
J UNE. Oh, sure. R.unnin g to every bar in town. l don'r know whar rh e hell you rh ough c you
were doin g ro you rself lasc wi nccr.
KEN. Do n't you?
J UNE. Oh, can t e birter and wise pose; 1 can 't bear ir. You're a loe bcrcer off back clown here wirh
Jecl.
KEN. You were here cwo weeks ago. l chink we ali hada ver)' gra phic dernon-
stration of che total fiasco it wo ul d be for me ro sray here.
J UNE. (Bent.) l beg your parclon?
KEN. There are a numb er of options open to me. J UNE. Kenny, it is ali
serdecl.
l( EN. Very weU. Jc's ali settlecl.
J UNE. You signed a contraer. T h is is your life, Ken; ch is is one chin g you' re nor goi ng to crap
out on.
J O HN. (En tering from upstaín .) Yeah, bab e. You said somebody callee!? Hey,
babe. Look ali ve. 1 on ly have a sec.
KEN. Whar? Oh. Ah- wh at do you wam firsr? A plasteret cal lcd. An Arthur Schw arrzkoff
called ar eleven.
J OH N. Whac in the hell cloes he chink he's cloi ng? T he man is crazy. You
ca lkecl to hi m?
KE N. Not very coherencly, l'm afra icl.
JOHN. Damn. I cold him noc ro cal l. [f he clic! call not to leave his (Di aling.) Hey. 1 wh
eelecl Gwe n by che h igh school co see wh ere yo u' II be teach i ng rhis wi ncer.
J U NE. We were just calk i ng about that.
J O HN. How abouc rh ac new bu il di ng? T hac's whac we were campa ign i ng for, remember? Ten years ago.
l<EN . Fifteen, bur who 's cou nci ng?
J UN E. T he old bui ld i ng collap sed.
J O HN. You're shicri n' me. That fina lly fd l i n?
!<EN. Unforcunacely nobody was in i c ar rhe ti me.
J O H N. (Phone.) O pera tor, so rry co wa ke yo u up, do ll-'- T his is a cred ir ca rd

F l FT f-l 0 1: J U I. Y 1
 ca . ll Car d num be r 0 72-691 -3037L. L. .. as in Lovey ol vo ice. J ED. (Entering.) Oh, grear.
ou r ve yl
T ha n kyo u. Uune crosses to and úts. John notices them.)1s this rhe KEN. They wen t up to change. 1 sup pose i n to somethi ng bb ck.
soaj
phone? only 1 ED.
You tolcl them ir wasn'r forma l ?
KEN. Sorry. KEN. I woulclcú presume.
J O H N. ( Phone .)Yca ,h doll. T h is is Jack, he i n? Go dd w, e arer ea lly JUNE. I saw rhem clown in the garden with yo u rhis afternoo n.
ma n rniss
in g eac h otherto d ay. Sur e, have hirn call, bur pesron- t-op e rs on. J ED. Yeah. Gwen even pu lled up what she choug ht was a
Rgi h t.
(Hnngs 11p.) weecl. J UN E. Whac clid you chink of John ?
J ED. He looks fin e.
J UNE. Boy, you're really becom i ng quti ea ma g na te.
J O H N. Naw, naw, ht is is n o rhin g. Leg work, busy wor k. lt 's no t h J UNE. Isn't he amazing? Somewhere c:here's a po rcra ir of him tha r's really
in g.
J UNE. Cons is t ni g m a i n ly of keepi ng your wife ara rm 's leng r h from goin g to hell. You know he's runn i ng rhe whole copper busin ess from
the board of di rectors of her comp ayn .
your phone.
J O H N. No,no, Gwen 's cool. Sh e jusr gers a l i ttle roo enrhus iasr ic s ome KEN. Behind Gwen's back.
r im es. J UNE. T h en why al! rh e cland csci n e phnoe ca sll ? J UNE. You can 5ec ch is new si ngi ng career he has her hyp ed on is ju st d iver-
GWEN. (Off) Hey, John , wh ac rhe helsl' u p ? . .
s1onary racncs.
) UN E. (Yeiling.) Funny you shou ldas k 1
KEN. Oh, l'm sure. Thar's ali ju st so mu ch . . .sca rdu sr.
J OHN. C ome on, li ght en u p. What doing? J ED. Smoke gecs in your eyes.
a re yuo
] UN E. We , ll I don't li ke ii:. We can see what s ' g o in g KEN. 1 rhink gi ven my cho ice betwe en rh em now, I'd rake her.
on.
J OH N. T here was on ly one thin g l did that yuo ev e r Ji J l·'.D. Given my choice, I'd r;d(e hernlock.
ke .d
GWEN. (Off) Hey, Joh n . What rh c up. J UN E. Oh, to hell with them borh. Where's Aunt Sall y? Is she ready at least?
helsl'
] O HN. ( So tto voce.)F unn y yo u shou ld ask. (Ye! fing .} ' do J I. Ued comes l< EN. Mayb e not ready and wi lli ng, bue probab ly able.
Com in,
up on thep orc h .) You, s1id yo u had a scherne you wanrcd to JUNE. I !ove being rhe villain in chis. T'm really crazy about that. (O/fin the
talkover ?
KEN. U h . .. late r. direction Shirley was last seen.) Sh i rley! (Shi rley immediately s11eaks on
J OH N. W ha t s' on your m i nd ? ' Cause if i r's what I think ti si, we're clefinitely downsttlÍrs, out the dom)
in ter esre d. Wep u lled up in front of the house, Gwensa i d theon KEN. l'm goi ng to bite rh at toe.
rhissi p lace in the coun ry that has the sort ofaly ou t w e- yl J F.O. What toe?
KEN. We'II ta l k, we'II ra lle C oo. d
KFN. T har toe. Thac toe. T he big dirty one.
GWEN. (Ojf.) John, Coddamn i t, sh a el J 1 (0 . (Beat.) They're only goi ng ro be bere another rwen ty-one hours. l can
kea J O HN. R ight wi rh yo u, babc. g.
hang in rh ere if you ca n.
KEN. Larcr, okay?
KEN. How could I ever have had che energy to live wi rh those two?
J OH N. Su r , e l iste n, wc'll ral k- I li ke i t. (Exits u.ptsa irs .) J l:'. D. A11d June.
KEN. You ok )
KEN. No, Gwe n moved in , Jun e moved ou r. Six monchs pregnant, big as
J UN E. Ye;ih, l'm fin e. (Shirley enters 11nd creeps up thes ta irs .} a wha le. O h hoy... ali rhe old Berkel ey days carne back to wreck LI S
Shirley! l ( E N . Sh i rlcy, yo ur mOL her is rnl ki ng toy ou. last nighr. Rem i n iscences, ancl cama raderie, a nd everyone had a n
J UN E. .Sh ir cl y, y our un ck: is tal kin g to you. (To Ken.)Wha t awfu l loe of "medicin e." Snow ra i ned li ke... snow. We called each
oprions? K[ N. J beg yo ur 1 m · do11 ?
orher " man" and "ca r," you would have vom ir ed. 1'11 bec I said "dig
i r" five hundr ecl ti mes.
./UN 1.( You ai d youl iad ;i 11 t11J1ber of'options open toy ni s tea d ofs tay fr 's a da mn ed wonder we weren'c: down in rh e garden si ngi ng, "We ShaJI
ou in g
downhc re to et ach . As I rccall yo u signecl a con tare r. Ued enters.) Overcome."
KEN. Con cn c ts ar e m ad c to he broken, as is everyth . (ToJec l, far J ED . I chought snow was heroin.
ign June's
b eneitj .) T he re s' no h urr y, JcJ . Gwen has clecided sehs 'co m in g w ic KEN. Oh, probably by now ir is, bu r when we were very ti red, we were very
h us.

FI FT H OF JU i.
16 LANFORD W ILS O N
SALLY. Whar kind of a visir is 1hac?
me rr y, we rocleb ack and fort h a li nig lu o n rhe Saus;tl ito ferry, snotr ni g
KEN. T his isn'c a visir, i r's a b usiness rr i p- th ey're loo k i n g for a ho use clown
snow , snow was cocai ne. A ncl. very dear even t hen.
J ED. W ha t d o es rhat ma rter to G we n. She probably ow ns Peru or whe here.
r eve r i t co m es fro m. SAL LY. O h, T hey are n't serio us abo uc a place in Missouri. G wen co ul d buy

KEN.S he do es not own Peru. She owns Montana and Co lo rado. C ool r a do any ho use in che coun cry.
o wn s Peru . KEN. Darling, if r hey think th ey're int eresred in a place clown he re, ir' s no

S ALL Y. (Sal/y ent ers Ji'om doum stairs carrying a macrame basket anda dried rose. business of ours.
S h e isf ooking.for some thing.) Ali righr , yo u wretc h. 1 k no wy ou r e' in J UNE. T hey want cheir ow n reco rd in g sruJio. Away from Nas hvi lle.
the re so mewhere. Th is is fair war n in g. KEN. And God knows Lebanon is away from al mo st anyth i n g yo u coul cl

KEN.No th in g h as run rhrough here in che lasr fiv e m inu ces- un le ssy chink of.
ou r 'e l oo k ing for Sh i rley or June or Gwen or Joh n . . . SALL Y. 1 ca n'c be li eve G wen is serio usl.y i nreresred in a si ngi ng career.
SALLY. You h ave n' t seen a rol! of co ppe r wi re? T he beasr is bei ng very di K EN . C an yo u bel ieve rhat John is in terestcd in Gwe n having a si ngi ng
ffi
cu lc c h i s e veni ng. (Hands rose to Ken.) Whac does that feel li ke? sI tbat career?
d ry? l ch in k that 's perfecrly d ry. SALLY. Oh, that is perfecd y apparent. Well, ev ery rh i ng chang es, everyo ne' s
KEN.Y es, tbat is perfeccl y d ry and perfectly h ideo us- loo k i gn . moving; l can'c say I'm looki n g forward ro ir.
SJ\LLY. T he magazine said it wou ld retain i t s color. .. J UN E. You worú be alo ne; Mom and Dad a re righc nexc doo r.
KEN.Wh at col o r was it ? {Westrm enters Ji'om upstairs, strummi g11 his g scron ger and stro ng cr.
guita,'.) SALLY. How long are you all
SALLY. ( Thj ed .) H ave you seen a roll of co pp e r wi re? (Sees Wés.) You ha srayi n g, W es? J ED. Twe n ry-o
verú seen a roll of co pper wir e? nc ho ur s.
KEN. D arl i n g, don't srart anyth i ng now. We'II be le avi n g any mniu te.
SALLY. You're Wes H u rley, aren 't yo u?
J ED . G we n's com poser friencl.
KEN. You met him lasc n ig ht, dad i ng.
SALLY. J remem ber last n ig hr pcrfcctly.
J UN E. (E n t eri ng ji 'Oln upstairs, to Weston.) Are rhey changi ng? {Weston
stares at each in turn.) G we n and Jo hn. Are th ey chang i ng ?
WESTON. Gwe n a nd John .
KEN. Are they chan g i n g'
WESTON. How. . .do you mean . . . chan g i ng ?
KEN. Clo d 1cs.
WESTON. Oh , wow, 1 bacl ch is who le metamorp hosis thing goi gn ... I was
read i n g ch is book :1bout Kaíl, a . ..
KEN. Gwcn i nsists 0 1 1 co rn i n g wic h us to n ig h r, so we are presumably
wa i t in g on thcm.
W E ST O N . I don't know . T hcy shu c the cloo r. (He goes out to the porch.)
KEN.T h ca mea ns cl1ac rhey're goi ng ar i c. Eve ry day in eve ry way I'mge ttni
SAL LY. You remember how well we've al ways gorr en alo ng. O h, 1 do n' t know And I clo n't lik e rh e ho use.
why I let your father talk me into mo vi ng to some senio r ci riz ens enclave in Cali fornia. KEN . You've hard l y seen the ho use.
Mart and I always haced reti reme n c co rnrn un i rie s. I mag i ne choosi ng to liv e in rh e SALLY. No, i r's too ... big.
only neig hb o rhoo cl in che co un rry rhar has af ull J UNE. Why are yo u buyin g ir ?
o ne hu nd red perce nr un emplo ym en t. SAl. LY. Well, Buddy swea rs l'm lo nely now char Macr's gone. Rea lly he a nd
J UNE. Mom and Dad lov e i t. O li ve are ju st afra id of who mighc move in nexr to th em.
SA LLY. Well, l'm sorr y. Ali rhose women in rh ei r balle t classes and crafr classes, gett ing cang l( EN . T his is und e n iab ly rrue .
led up in their ma cram e. Even yo ur mo rh er. D icl yo u get a basket from O li ve for C hr SALLY. Bur I do n'r love Sr. Lou is a ny mor e, no one do es.
isrmas' l( EN . T her e' s no chin g wrong wirh Sr. l. ou is.
KEN . U mmm m. J ED . T here 's no rhi ng right wic h ir.
SALLY. Yes, so did l. T hat so rt of thing shuu lcl really be left to the l nd i ans. S!\L LY. The mayo r on TV loo ks li ke he'd ra ch er be rhe mayo r of a n y mh cr

FI FT I-1 OF ] U l, Y 1 (
18 LANFORD W ll. SO N

p l ace on earth. And you aren 't go i ng to get anywhere with Shi rlye JUNE. I think chac and M ah ler a re in a class by themse lv es.
J'm around. while
SALLY. H e loved swi m m i ng nake d.
J UN E. (Overlap.) Do n't ler that wo rr y yo u .
KEN. Mahler? Lovecl swi m mi ng nak ecl ?
S ALL Y. No, now, che cwo of you sho u ld be on your own. (Spots spool o/tape.) JUN E. 1 d i d n' t live wit:h th ern , Kcnny li ved with them, ancl
Is rhat yo u? N o , yo u' re rh c green tape. 1'11 need you, too. How canp eo p le yes, he was lik et ha t. KEN. Ju ne mov ed ou t; if yo u can't sta nd
ever organize a hobby? [c's ju st ex hau sri ng. Is it going to rain? Is u p psoe rhe heat, get out of ch e kitchen.
th ey' ll cancel th e dan ce and che fü eworks. Probably they' II move ir t:o JUN E. T h eh e at clicl n' r bo ther me; it was the smcll of ali
th e Com m u n i ty Hall. thos e bu rn i gn cook- ies. (Km starts th e trtpe recorde1;
KEN. A fir eworks d is play in che C om muni cy Hall ? the ma11glecl words are heard g11 ain .) !'ve b een meani n g
JE D. T har' ll be nic e. to tell you that 's re,ü ly my favo rit e thing to li s ten to.
SALLY f neve r li ked fireworks. The smell of suHur mak es me sick. I wouldn't SALLY. Js rhere a 1110 0 11 co n ig ht ?
look very pacrio t ic thr ow i n g up. J ED . Yeah, lat er.
KEN. Oh, any ho nest reacrio n , l chink. (W, t ston, on th e porch, is playing
aso ji melod_y on the guitar.} 20 LANFORD W[ LSO N
S ALL Y. (At the screen door. ) l t's go n na rai n 011 Harley Ca.mpb ell's fune r
a l tomorrow. Ir m us t h ve rai n ecl every vaca cio n we carne clown here.
I do n't know why Mate loved it. Everyo ne ha ced h i m. ffit rainecl, he went
fish in g. N ever caughr a fish. l do n't th i nk he baired his hook.
Loved eve r y mi nut e of it. H aced carc h in g fish. D icln 't want che
respons ib i li .cy S a t in ch e rai n and lau ghed li ke a mo ra n . T hey all must
have choughc eh was mad.
KEN. Don't be absur cl; h e was as sane as yo u.
JUN E . l really do n't see an y po int in waiting for those two.
SALLY. (LookinK out th e door.) Wh ere have they got to now ? They carne back
fro m town.
KEN.T h ey wem into chei r room, shut che doo r, and are, we pres u me,g oni g
ar i r.
SAL LY .A ga i n ? H e cen ai nly do es try very harcl to keep her occupied, cloesn't he
?
KEN. John has al ways known wha c si cle he was butt ered on.
S A LL Y.Y o u get che feeli ng the mo me nt t hey're ,tlo ne if she opens her mouth
a n cl clo esn' t si n g, he stic ks so met h i ng in ir. Was he li ke chat when
you li ved wirh rhern?
SALLY. Your Uncle Mate , darl i ng.
l( E N . T his kid 's name is Johnny Yo ung . H e's at rhe junior h ig h. Wo u lcl n' t be in my class fa r
years. And don'c smi rk , he's goc a n I Q of about 200. Ac 110011 comorrow f'm supposecl ro cell
chis kid what I thoughc of his sto ry.
j UNE. That's a sco ry? 1 co u lcl tell yo u no w.
l( E N. Ir.'s kind of amazing. He's into che futur e.
J UNE. God, th at enri re Young family scarecl me to deach. l'd walk a mile ouc of my way noc ro
pass chat ho use.
SAL LY. Who did?
J U N E. You remem ber th e Young brood. T hc ch urch was al ways cak in g faod baskets to rh e m.
KEN. T hac chey prompcly solcl.
) UN E . Four hund red wh ice-ha i recl c h il d ren. Ali bea ucií u l. All vaca ne as a jar. A snaggle-
coo ched old cro ne our in che back yard , lic era lly sti rri ng a bu b bli ng ca ld ron .
Grinning rh ro ugh che steam, cacld i ng li ke a hen.
SALLY. She was making soap.
J UN E. Ummm ... Sure, she was mak i ng soap . Bue o ut of whar? K EN . Oh, he's i
mposs i ble.
J UN E. He cerrai nly is. (Ken tums it ofj-.' H e gets u p, t11king a crutch in each
hantl, arid crosses to anotha chair.}
K l N . H e's mor e chan li kel y a ma chcmarical prod igy. No one her e is q w1li ficd to judg e. He
communicaces with scri bbled messages. Half h is problem is ju sc cension. Fea r of bei ng a
nr ic i pat ed. Ever yo ne has cut him off as soon as cl1ey get the gist of what he's rry i ng ro say
far so lo n g chac-
j UNE. Okay, okay.
K l •'. N. (He glares. She smiles.) He had al mosc no co n tro l over h is en t i re vocal apparatus wh en
we started. No rh i ng more tha n i:ensio n, really. He was
si mply terrified.
11 m. Pissed his panrs.
K l;, N_ Nor si nce chat first ti me, ac tu ally.
1 LJN E. Oh, fine .
ül '.N . E nt i rely my fa ul c. 1 couldn'c und ersi:a nd che so n-of -a- bicc h was ask i ng far
permission to go to rhe joh n.
1 U NE. You're terrific.
1( 1 '.N. The parience of Job.
1 UNE. (Exiting upstairs.) What a mo th er you wo uld ha ve been.

F I FT H OF J U I.Y
 KEN. Was Job a good morher ? 1<.EN. Whac are you goc up as?
SALLY. ] un e is bei ng an awfu l tart, isn't sh e? J UN E. She mak es abouc a.s good a d rag as you wo ulcl.
K EN . Anyching is possible wid1 a li rcle rasre and cha rm .
KEN . Jun e is even more i mp ossi ble wit h a scraight man in th e houset ahn s he
is wi thou t one. SH [R.LEY. T his is a beauriful gown thar my great-grandmoth er wore when -
1 UNE. She's been ar G ra ndm a's rrunk in che a tr ic . (Gwni ent ers, wearing 01tly
SA LLY. I do n't know why she had to come down here with me.
KEN. Oh, don't you. Three wceks ago as soon as she hearcl John was coming... 11 sheet.)
SALLY. That's over long ago, sur c ly. S H[RLE Y. And you are a JO H N. You ar e roo mu ch;
KEN. You know rhar , and l kn ow thar. . . degenerare, is whac you are. and she was also smok i ng a
SALLY. But where wou ld tha r gec her? Yes, l was lo okin g in rhe wi n cigarerre we rerú yo u?
KEN. Neverch eless. clow and I was smok i ng a Wben
SALLY. Well, ic gives her foeus. Poor Jun e. You were always so brighr and so eigaretre and I hav e nevcr seen did you sra rc char? And she was
popul ar, Jun e was aJ ways ra rh er "T he Cheese Stands AJ one." anything so disgusring in my spyi ng on a privare acc, we ren'r
KEN. (To Jed.) Is th ar che pese book ? en ci re life. He-didn'r even have you? f think you ough r ro lea rn a
J ED. Mil dew. his shoes off1 He clid n'c even lesson . 1 chink you should
SALLY. Milcl ew? Noc on thc roses. have h is panrs clown! He was le a ni a rhing or rwo. . .You
J ED . SaJly, bi te your con gue. fully clr essed and Gwen was bett er watc h ic. You're asking
S AL LY. How to you know so rnu ch about garden i ng? Did you grow up ona fully nak ecl! And he was per For ii:. . . You watch ic. You
fa rm ? forming cunn ili ngus ali over be1 rer ju st warc h it. You' re
K EN. No, da rl i ng, he has a Master's in botany. her and his face was ali over gonna ger ir now. T har's ic.
JED . And no boca n is t h as ever known a n yrh i ng at ali a bour garde n ing mu cus and ic was th e mo sr You' ve had ic. ( He
, or rhere wo u ld n't be m ilJ ew 0 11 che phlox. di sgust i ng chi ng l've ever continues.)
SAL LY. Mil dew on rh e ph lox . . . What's che name of that novel? seen in my li fe. And worse, CWEN. Oh, l was! [r was fon
GWEN. (Off ) No, 1 love i c! worse, worse, she was moaning rasric ! O h, Go d, we were
JOHN. (Off.) 1'11 kili her; you kidding me? ( Enterin g, elated.) H ey, you sena and caughr in the acr! [r was too
k! Where is s he? Hcy, you know in Europe you coulcl hav e your eyes pokecl groani ng and he- he- he- was fan ras tic ! l lo oked back and
out for so rn eth i ng li kc rhar? C aught rh e li ttle twerp at th e winclow. reach i ng clown wich his own saw this face at rh e window.
You' re really goi ng to gct it. She was up a tree looki ng in the- O h, shi r, spies. No, aud
hand and maswrbaring his
own ching at che same tim e. ience! O h, Gocl, how fa bu
lous. And li ke, wow, [ really
hit rh e
SH L RL EY. ( Appearing 11t th e dorJ1:) l certa.i nl y hope you aren't adcl H imsel fl I have neve r moon . l mea n J carne li.ke a
me. seen
ressign JO H N. How's rhat fo r i nn ocen cc? fla sh! l ' ve never co me li ke rh
anyrh i ng so unna cur al ar in suc h a flash in my l i fe. 1
S H l R.L EY. J have no idea- Uu11e enters down stairs, on lrmdin g.)
and wa rp ed in my young li jusr went flash! Flash! AII my
SH I RL EY. - what you a re JOHN. You li ttle sneak. You
fe! Ever! blood,
li ke, ju sr wem fla sh! A II rhrough
mak i ng such a dist urbancc peepcr. 1f you don't watch out, a on si blc for the J cli nq 11e11c y tha t so-called majo rs are le ad i ng me
hout , bur if you a re a ll udi ng 1'11 tell it all. You could get i nco.
LO me, th er,e 1r e an y 11 umh er of yourself in a pack of troublc.
l ow :111cl sn iggli ng pcop l e who T hat wasn't just sno rti ng 22 LAN F O RD W I I.S O N
coke rn igl11 do somerh i ng of d1ar and smok i ng dope lik e lasc
ki nd . n ight.
SJ-1.l IU EY. 1 hav e no mcmory of last ni gh t ,rnd 1 a.m a minor and nor rsep
 my body. You were terr i fic! Sh i rley,
you gotea a.l ways be rh ere!
Uolm has crmtinued saying "f'IL get you frn' iÍJÍs. Ytm just see. lrn gormct renL 61
get you far thi s. ''.)
SHIR LEY. You jusc rry ic. You keep your d i rt) ' hand s off me. ( YeL!s when he
woutd tou ch he1'.)
J UN E. (Overlapping.) John, Shi rley, Shi rlcy. You are goi ng ro rip cha1 d n.:s s

F I FT H OP J U I.Y l j

that does not belo ng to yo u. And you a re forgett i ng rh at this even i
gn is rather a sober occasion for so rn e people if it isn't for yo u. Try for
one n ig ht to resp ect Aunt Sall y and Uncl e Matt.
GWEN. Oh , sh i c. l forgor! ['ve got to dress. Don't anybody leave wirhout
me. (Ruw off upstai rs.)
SALLY. ff he' s waited overa year , he can wait a li td e lo nge r.
J UN E. Sa lly, ir ca n not wait an y lo nge r.
S H I RL EY . 1h a ve just seen som eth i ng th at will warp my yo un g mind anda li
you can rhink of is dearh and ash es. And l lo ve Aunt Sally, whom Ico n
s i de r my mo th er, an cl Un clc Man , who was rhe onJy father 1 ever had
,a good deal more than -
JU N E. l ' m go nn a bust your ass for you, roo , hon ey, if you try ro clump
that gu il t rrip on me .
S H I RLEY. 1 wi ll not be a parry ro cas t i ng my dear gran clun cle's ashes into s o
rne fil ht y swi m m i ng ho lc, because I have mor e respect for his me mory
rhan rhat.
JUN ..E f'm goi ng ro clump you in rhe ri ve r, wh ic h is something I sho u lcl ha
ve do ne when l had thc chance.
J O H N. You b etter watc h that onc . She's gett i n' a littlc big for her pants,a int '
you? How old are you now ? How old ,l re you?
J UN E. You wo u ld n't know ., of co ur se.
S H IR LE Y. Age is rhe mo st i rreleva n t judge of characte r or ma tu rtiy t hat
JOHN. Yeah , yeah, how old ar e you?
] UN .E. S he's th i rteen .
S H IRLE Y. (lr1June.} 1 arn eig hteen years old , ( To )ohn .) and it is none ofy ou r
bus i ness...
JUNE. She's ch i rreen.
SH IR LEY. l f you m ust kno w, 1'111 sevenr
een. J UN E. You are no t sevent ecn , yo u c ret i
n.
S H I RLEY. 1 am fi fteen years o ld!
JUN E. S h c' sr o u rteen . Uohn picl.zs Shir/q 11p rm d carrie.r her over his
sho11lder to th e ¡, mrh rm d slrm 1s th e door on hei: Ali thro11gh this, she
is screaming: " Pw m e rlow11. put 111r' dow11, Rhett Butler, ¡mt nu1 down.
''.)
JO H N. (Smiles, t11rns brrck to the bedroom.) Ye;J1? You better watch th at
one.
(llxits to th e bedroorn upstairs.)
S I 11I U. E Y. (Comes b11ck i11, fallows him to steps.) l happ en to , amg oi ng to
eb a n ani s t, a11d a n, in is t has no age and m use force h irnsd f to see
evrey
thi n, g 111::i t rer h ow d isgusri n g ancl how low! (Door slams offitga
e.)
11 0
K l •: N. ( Pause.) I'm cerribly sorry, Wes, whac is ir rh ::i r's far out?
W EST O N. The d ud e's bee n dead over a yea r?
S/\ LLY. Oh, I know, I ju st clo n't gec ch i ngs do ne.
K 1•: N. lt isn'c as chough he'd spo i l.
S/\ LLY. No, che dear, he won 'c spoil.
SI II RLE Y. Oh, G od . Oh, my God!
1U NE. Will you picase gec out of rh::ir d ress a ncl sto p try i ng ro be che ce nrer
of act ention ... (!ndicates bedroorn.) T hat was cutc. Was n'c he cu re?
lff N. We always cho ught so.
W l •:ST O N . He want ed you to sca ct er his :1s hes 011 L he water?
JU NE. He saicl flush rhem clown rh e toile r.
S/\ LLY. M att 's wishes were never expressed.
1 UNE. But we're caking him to thc riv er. Bn rcr lace rhan never. 1\
1•: N. Jc's ha rd ly ch e Ga ng es, but you go wirh whar yo u' ve gor... W
EST O N. Sure.
S/\ LLY. (To ]un e.) A li he said was don'r keep my as hes in a goddam ned u rn .
SI ! I R.LE Y. Oh, Jesus, God, T- ugh h . (Lights ,1 cig11rette ú1 a long holcler.)
S/\ LLY. Bur one ching and ano rh e r. ..
\X/ EST O N. Far out.
SI ! I R.LEY. I cannot bear ir. 1 am a spi rim al person. l happen to ...
1 UN E. If you picase. . . (Tr1kes cigarette from holde1; stubs it out)
S/\ LLY. Well, of course che funer al ho me gave him ro me in an eno rm ous,
bl ue, herm ecica lly sealed urn wirh MATT FRIE DM AN in go ld Old
Eng l ish lecreri ng. I ce rt ai n ly took him our of thac and pur him in a box.
\X/ESTON. Sure.
SI I IR.LEY. I c an no t bea r macure people cal mly cal ki n g abo ut c remat io n a n<l
d eat h and ashes in a box. I ca nn o t bear ic.
S/\ I .L Y. I open it up every <lay ancl gi ve him a link ai r.
\X/ EST O N . Sure.
J UNE. Wes, don't sra rt her off.
SHJ R.LEY. I c annot bear ir.
S/\ LLY. I d rie d a ro se in him lasc week. D riecl ir vcry n icd y, coo . You lrnow,
Jed discoverecl chis lose rose.
1 ED.
Slacer's Crimson Chi na.
SAL LY. Mart mad e a very good drying agenr, too.
J UNE. He would have hacl a he.
KEN. Actually, he mighr be put to better use sp read arou nd the rosebushes
as fenilizer.
J
W EST O N. ( Prw sr.) Far CH I ED. Pocash, absolucely. Preven rs dieback.
C.

FI FT H O F J U I.Y
24 LANFORD Wl I..S O N
 KE N. Or John 's asl1es shou ld be good for a qua nti ry of potash, if yout hin k
a bou t ir...
J ED. You crema ce _lohn and J'l l happil y spread h is ashes.
S H I RLEY. J will absolu rely S!'l'Mm i f anyo ne says "ashes" one mor e tim
e. KE N. Shc wi ll, too.
S ALL Y. l'm noc ac ali ha ppy a bo u c dum pin g him down ac thc
boathouse. It l ooks too much li ke a sh rin e a nd Matt wou ld hace th at.
But- we ma ed love there ch e fi rsc ti me.
J UNE . Do we have to wa i c for those cwo?
SALLY. T here's some ching wrong a bout i t.
SH I RLEY. T hat's where rh ey saw che UFO from.
SALLY. No, i t was not. We were standi ng righ t on rh ac porch when wes
aw che UFO.
W ES TO N. You've sigh ted UFO s here? 1 read ch is book about flyi ng sauecr s .
J UN E. Don't sea re her.. . Wes, you reacl too mu ch, concentr ace ony o ur
lll US I C.
SALLY. We wem ou t onto che po rch. T h is was on ly our second dat e, mind.
WESTON. Sure.
SALLY. A nd we saw chis silver flyi ng th i ng.. . rise straigh t up from che
ri.vre clown rh ere. Very slowly, ti ll ir was jusc over che crees. Just chis
hug e lti
up top. A nd then it went off sideways- phem! a ncl was gone- just
liek norhi ng.
WESTON. Did i t go "phem!"?
SALLY. No. 1 wen c "phem!" I1 d id n'r go anyt h
ing. J UN E. A ma rriage made in heaven, righ c?
WESTON. There's a saucer-sha pecl one ancl a cigar-shaped one. O
nyl t
ht in k the ciga r-shaped one is just the saucer-shaped one seen ona n
elli pse, li ke. Did it hav e a tail?
SALLY. No, no tai l.
WESTON. Sorne of thcm have rails.
SALLY. T h is one did n't have a ta i l.
WESTO N. Sorne of t hcm don'r have tai
ls.
SA LLY. T, h s was onc of rhe ones that cli cln't have a ta
i l. W E,STO N. So111 c oí Ll1em clo n't have ta il s.
SALLY. Wcl l, 1 me:rn Lo tell yo u, 1 wec my pa nts.
WESTO N. Su rc.
J UNE . You we re l ucky.
SALLY. 1 d id. J wct my pa n ts. Of course, we choughc we were bei ng i
W l·'.STO N. Sur e.
",/ \ 1 .1 .Y. We gor on che celeph one co che Ci vi l Defense and rh ey said ro
scay away fro m rhe area, don'r go clown rhere. Of cou rse, we were clown
ch ere i n a mi nut e.
W EST O N. Sure.
S/\LLY. Ancl, well, ali rh e weeds and brush ali along our riverban k were burn
ed away. T he place was scil l smolderi ng.
W r-'.STO N. Sure.
S I I I RLEY. Prob abl y they were bu rned by ali ki nd s of radiarion.
K l·'.N. T ha t would explain a good cleal.
S/\ LLY. And we ran ali up and down che ri ver, looki ng for spies, and li
sren i ng, because thac's what we rhought ic was. T hac chey had land
ed Ja p
Japanese croops.
w 1:.STO N. Sur e.
S/\LLY. And by che ri me we had gone ali rh e way to che boa thouse we lu d to
resc, and we ral ked a nd lookecl a c rhe 1110 0 11, an d l ' m a fra id we
goc ali in vol ved wich each other and fo rgot abour I he Japa nese.
KEN. Wi th wec pant s? l'm sor ry.
S/\LLY. lsn'c rhar funn y? I com plerel y forget what I d id a bour rh a t. O f
cour se, we had no idea whac we hacl seen. It was yea rs befo re
anyone sra rt ed ral k i ng about U FOs.
WEST O N. Sure.
SA LLY. Bue every time we came clown here, evcry year af ter chac, we wenr ou r
to wacch for chem.
S I II RLEY. T hat's probably why Uncl e Mace kept comi ng back clown here
e i nsteacl of so rne place n ice.
h
y
nvaded by che Japanese.
26 LANFORD \XIJ L S ON
 JU NE. Shi rley, ar e you goin g to go or are you goin g to stay, beca_use you can't go looking li
ke rh at.
SHl RLEY. I have saicl repea ted ly rh a r I was srayin g here, an cl che soo ner we
get back to Se. Louis and you stop actin g l i ke a mot her che hap pier 1'11 be.
J UN E. Ju sc a si mp le decision, we don'c need th e prod uccion numb er.
SH IR.LEY. Un li ke eir her of yo u, [ do nor have a si ng le rnemo ry of rh e boyfr iends l claced d ur
i ng th e war in ch is one-horse burg.
J UNE. Where do you get rh e way you ca l k? l die! not have '' boyfriends, " we
did not go on "da tes"; haven't you learned anyr hi ng ? She spend s cwenry fou r hours a
clay in ch e qu eer movie house, warch i ng Berry Grab le rerun s.
SHI RLEY. Betry Grable is rh e grearest scar Missouri ever prod uced.
KE N. Oh, God. I'II ber rh a t's cr ue.

F T FT H OF J U I. Y
 '1/\1 .LY. No, da rl i ng, someth i ng tells me l d id n't leave him up there. Tt was so
S H I RL E Y. I wo ul d think one wo ulcl kn ow berrer than ro proclaim e
chas ti ty to her i llcgi ti rnatc daugh te r. hr warm , I was won ied-

JUN E. T h ere is a world of di ffere nce between ma k i ng !ove and teasing s o 28 LA N FO RD W II .SO N
rne basketba ll p laye r after the juni or p ro m.
KEN. J un e cercai n ly never reased anyo ne. (Gwe n enters, dr essedflambyo an
yd .)
H oly God.
J U N E. O h , Good Lord! (Over:)
GWEN. I decided, if Sh i rley is wea ri ng th at, l'd le t her se t thct o
ne. JU N E. She isn't goi ng, and she certa i n ly isrú wearing that.
JE D . (ToK en). Be a mi n u te; hold clown th e fon . (Exits to1 tpstair s.)
S ALL Y. ( Ov erl a pping.) Now, where did yo u get to? You were here last ngi
ht , and what did I do wi th you? It was hoc- 1 know thac.
KEN . ( O verlap píng.) H as anybo cly seen Aunt Sally's rol! of coppe r wier ?
GWE N. What brand? Co pper's my busi ness.
S ALL Y.W hat? O h, yes, but no, darli ng, Uncle Matt. I can'r seem ro
remem- ber whar I've clone wi th h is box of ashes.
K EN . ( Ken and june at the sam e time, overlapping.) Don'r say
it! J UN E. Please clon't! (- .,hirley scre11ms.)
WESTO N. ( Pause. ) Eu ou t.
GWEN. Oh, God, that' s so g,re1r. T'd be a new person ifl coulcl do rh ac.
Eve r si nce my shrink role! me J shou lcl sc rearn , I haven't been able to.
JUNE . Do1Ú pay an y at ten tion to her. She's only cryi ng to be the ce1 1tero f
oh, God, I sound exac tl y l i ke Dad, don't P
KEN . H is voice was hi gher.
JUN E. M en and wo men a ren't st rong enough to have ch il d ren. Trees
shou ld have ch il d rcn.
KE N . J'm afraid T c an't hel p you, Au nt Sally. I ha ven't seen them.
S AL LY. (O 1m l apping.) l o n ly have to conce n trare a moment. I had them als t
n igh t,. w h en it was so warm, a nd I rook them up c he bed roo m, bue
l do n'r remcmber bri ngi ng him clown th is morn i ng. J rernember ir was
so hot.
KE N. ( Yelli 11g u pstairs.) Jed! Hey, Jed1
G WEN. T hat 's so wo nd erfu l.
J ED . (Ojj.' Vrlling.) Yo!
C WEN. Jed is r· cally bu rc h , isn't he? Don't you love him?
KE N. (Vel/i ng.) Listen ... !
G W FN. 1 111c;111 he's d u l l as d isl1 wat er, but hc's so but ch!
KE N . ( Véfli ng.) l l ri ng clown Lind e M att fro m Aunt Sally's bed roomw
he n yo u come!
1 F. I ). (Off ) 1-le' s in che refrigerator.
S/\ LLY. Oh, of cour se he is.
W l '.ST O N. Wow, rhar 's really
llJ NE . D on'c say it. O ne word .
W E.ST O N. (Mouth open, ca1ú c!ose it.) 1 been readi ng ch is book ab ouc che Bermud a Triangle.
SI I I RLEY. O h, che Bermud a Tr ian gle.
:WEN . Lis ten, forget ic; i t's a tora l rip -off. We we nr clow n rh ere to rry to J is app ea r.
Lik e we die! everychi ng you could ch i nk of to make our sel ves conspicuous, you
know ? N oc a fucki n' rh i ng happ ened to us. Two soli d
mondrs.
SI 11 R_LEY. How long are you goi n g to be in Nas h ville?
;w EN. Jusc a co up le of weeks to li ne up a band. You wa nt to come? S1 1 l RLEY.
Yes! Uime starts to leave the room, to kitchm.)
S/\ LLY. W here are you goi ng?
i U N E. I'm ... goi ng to... che loo. You wanc ro come?
S/\ LLY. Ju sc leave Man in rh e refrigera tor. He's fi ne rh ere. (]une stops, strm :s.)
1 UN E. (To Ken.) l'm only aski ng if we're doi ng ch is or noc. K E.N. Do n'c
push, don't force i t.
1UN E. You're rhe origi nal Wi ll o' che W isp.
G W E N. H eh as grear fcel i ngs for rhe place, rhou g h- and we gor to ha ve our
ow n stud io, see. H ey, Jo h n, da m n it, come down here.
JO H N . (Off) Whar say, babe?
GWE N . Co me down here. Hey Ken, how many roo ms havc youg oc ?
J UN E. N i netee n, why? Uohn e11tersfi-or1111pstairs.)
G W EN . W o o! You lo ok grcat.
JO H N. O kay, l'm d can .
S H IRL EY Do rú touch me, 1 clo n'r care.
JO H N. Shc's gon na rcal ly get it.
G WE N . (To Km.) Wc wcrc ral ki n g abou t you.r p ropositio n JO
H N. No t no w, doll-
G W E N. O h , sure. We got to havc our o wn place to reco rd , sec, 'causet he
stuclios bleed you dry. You would n't beli eve it .
W EST O N . O h, wow, and shc's...
JO H N .G we n' s gota liL rle pro blcm; we'rc wo rk i ng 011 . . .
b rea d.
W EST O N. She gets blocks.
J U NE. She gets what?
W EST O N . Blo c ks. You know, lik e mental bloc ks.
JO H N. No, i r ali goes fi ne un til rhcy turn on th e m i kes.
KEN . Beaut i ful.
GWEN. Fuck i t, i t 's noc that bad.
JO H N. Listen, I t ho ug hc i t was co o l.
WE ST O N. She freezes.
JO H N . l t' s no t h i n g. S he frcczcs. Her jaws clench up.
W E ST O N . Y o u can't cven pry r hem o pen wirh your fing ers. We tr ie d. lts ' rcal
ly a bi rc h.
SHIRLEY. T he only place l' ve ever been for a vac arion is Lebano n.
CWEN. O h, shi c. T har's prob a bl y th e pie s, righc? We were in Egypc, che
guide sta nds in fronc of th e Sph i nx; he says, " For fiv e chousand years
che Sph in x had noc gi ven up her sec rec. C omm and her to speak bur she
remai ns sil ent. " T said , you goua be ru nn i n' rhat up my ass_, right ?
KEN. Lebanon, Missour i.
S HI RL EY. (O verlappin g.) H ere; you' re rhere now.
CWEN. Oh, liste n, no, chis is rh e greatest place ['ve ever becn. We wal ked
clown to che ri ver, we were up on che h i ll; l've neve r seen suc h peace in
my life.
SH I RLE Y. Every place l'v e ever bee n has been peacefu l.
CWEN. No shir; we're gonna mo ve here.
SALLY. O h, you a re not:.
KEN. Aun e Sally, darli ng.
G W EN . Hell yes, the whole bi t; bac k co rh e lancl, i t's John 's homerown.
SALLY. .John 's dad moved ro Miam.i ten years ago.
F J FT H OF J U I.Y
G WE N. Ju sr to cu t tw o si d cs l'rn pro bably th e only si nger ever spe
nt mor e moncy o n thc sh ri nk rhan wc did on rh e band.
J O HN . T hc band was reall y great, rhough.
C WE N . ' C ause L h ey had d ecided 1 was ju st th is rich bi tch,
you kn ow, but li k e wh cn wc fin all y gor it roge chcr a nd cut
the ta pe rhey really fl ipp ed.
W I\ST O N. l u l li ke sh c wo n't cvcn li sten
to th e dern o. C W EN . 1. don't wa nt LO
hcar i r.
W EST O N. Li kc shc's got th is real pai n in her vo ic e.
C \ XEI N . Wc/1, lc't s Í;1c c i r, l i ke i fl d o rú hav e pai n in rn y
vo ic e, who wo uld ? JO H N .T h erc h ad to li:wc bccn so meth i ng ro i
mpr ess Ji rnm y King.
G WEN .W h o' s Ji kc th c io p man age r in che busin ess. T hcy don't
kn ow Jimmy Ki n g.
Ir ru ns into a loe of
30 LA N FO R D W II .SO N
J O H N . H e want s co sig n rh em bo rh .
C WE N . Only rhing he said I really sho ul cl co nce n t rare on th is one chin g.
! U N E. I'll ber.
C WE N . And li ke wh at happens co th e co pper busi ness? jO I-IN . O ne chi
ng ar a ti me, one th i ng ar a ri me.
CWEN. Only I'm never sur e wh ic h ti me co cake whac rh i ng.
JO H N . You go n a le arn co chink a bou t yo urself.
C W EN . Bur wouldn'i: i:hai: be far oui: i:o have rh is reall y ma jo r career afre r yo u're al reacl y
th ir ry- chr ee yea rs old and b u rned our ?
J O H N . N o body says yo u're burn ed-
C WEN . Everybody says 1'111 b u rnecl our. How can yo u ra ke th ar rn a ny cl ru gs and go through
what l've go ne th rough :rncl noc have you r b rai ns Fried ?
SHI R.LEY You are rhi r ry- thr ee yea rs ole!? C W E N . lsn't
that gross?
SHIRLEY. How did you gec burn ed ou i:?
C W E N . Li sten, l'm a real case, no shi r. Li ke ayear doesn'c go by w ic ho ur me
ge tt i ng someth i ng term i na l w ron g wi r h me.
WEST O N. She's got rhis hisro ry of li ke mecli e1I m il esco ne opera rio ns
SHIRLEY. On, no .
C WE N . lc's really crazy; I mean, l'm rh is fucki n' shel l. T hey too k every rh i n g out by the ti me
I was rwenry - fiv e. Yo u kn ow, no t ali ac o nce, one o r rwo
things ar a ri me.
SH IRL E Y. O h, Lord .. .Ca n't yo u have c h ild ren ?
C WE N . O h, picase, that was li ke the first rh i n g ro go. If I d id n' c have rh is h isrory of lo
ngevi ty in rny fam il y, l'd ' ve been d ead befo re l was ten.
WEST O N . Bue li ke no body i n her fam il y eve r cli cs.
' GW EN . Li ke you got to kili us off. Daddy's been l i ke paralyzed, yo u kn ow, for rh e lasr four
yea rs, with ali rh ese cu bes and wi res and 11, but- 1 mean, lik e he's a Brussels sprout,
but hc's al ive. lr 'd be really tr agic, bu t you can't think about it wi rh out laughi ng, 'ca use
yo u kn ow he had ch is
sr roke-
SHIRLEY. O h. 1 c ann ot bear ir.
GW EN . No, li sten, ir 's fa r out. His face is a li paral yzed , yo u kn ow, bur i 'r s stuck in chis real
wei rd co mic posicio n. 1 mea n even Arrh ur J. Sc h wa rtzkoff, who 's lik e che mosr
serio u s person [ know, had co leave rh e
room to keep from cracki ng up.
W EST O N . She's got rhis real crag ic hisror y. GW EN . Ask W
es.
WEST O N. Her mo th er and her b roth er wcre ki lled in an ai r p!J ne crash .

F I FT H OF J U I . Y
 GW E N . Ronny , it was roo bad; Mom was a bi tch. (Pause.} I don't wantto
be a clown or anyth i ng. (Km is po11.ring a g-!r1ss of wine.}
J U N E. (Ti-tkes bottle.} H ey, do n't sta rt that agai n to ni ghr.
KEN . You' re righr. (Drink.r.}
./UN E. T h is icLiot was up to S1. Louis a li wi nter tryi ng to kili h i msd f- dr
in k in gh i mself bli nd - tryi ng to prove whar a swinger he is- till
finally he
m an aged to collap se i n t h c street a nd wound up in che hospital. And now
he's back in physical rh era py.
KEN . l onl y go twic e a week.
G WE N. Yeah, and- ?
KEN.T hi s n ic e dyke nu rse tries to ki li me. Ic's rhis game we plya .
JOHN. l thought you were fin ished wi rh ali chat.
G\VEN. W hy are you ba ck i n musc ular rhe rap y, creep?
KE N. G oocl Go d, no reason . Ap paren t:ly l was walking wrong. I waswa l-k in
g with my a rrns instead of rn y sto mac h. (Shirley pres.res the recorder.)
GW EN. Oh , God, I was gonn a tell yo u. T har 's rea lly weircl to mak e lav e
to.
KEN. So rr y, bue i t's reaJl y fasci n at i ng-
J O H N. Y ou' ve got yo ur work cu t ou t for yo u, if this is on e of your
Egn sr ud encs.
KEN . No, no. When l was in rehabi li rar ion learn i ng to walk, 1 work ecl
with a coup le of boys who had lose th ei r abi lity to speak . Mac
McCone ll w an ted me to work wich chi s kid pr i varely to see if I cou ld
help b i m.
J UN E. Johnn y Youn g. Rcmcrnb cr th e You ng brood)
JO H N . Jcsus, forget I ment ioned it.
KE N. H e's too sby to ral k to me. J gave him a tape recorder so he eouldte
ll m e ab ou t h i mself; but in st ead he's fill ed che ent i re ca ssette with
this a rna z.i ng scien ce ficrio n story about the future.
JO l-l N. When do you starr back again ?
J U NE. School starrs rhe fir s t Monday afrer Labor Day.
KEN. Sra rt what?
, W E N . 1 think thar is so fa r out to re tu rn to che fold lik e rh ar. l mean its ' pa
roch ial as hel l, bu1. i c's s o far out.
KEN. O h , h;1 rd ly. T he p rofc s sion has do n e very n icely wi tho ut me fro
s 1x yea rs, 1 rhink i r will su rv i ve a wh il e long er.
.) U N E. Wl1:11 t he h cll a re you talk i ng a bom ?
C W l N . 1 rh o ugh L th a L's wh a r yo u we re down here for. You we re
goi gn ro your olcl h igh school.
KEN. 1 was never rh a r i n re resred in teach i ng.
SA LLY. O h, you were so.
:W EN. (Overlapping Sa!Ly.) You used co scream abour ir ali rh e ri me.
J( ) 11 N. Hell you were n't, th ar was your mission, ] thoughr.
1lJ NE. Kenny , it is qui te settled.
1() 1 I N . That guy said you were che bese reacher O akla ncl ever had .
K l·'.N. ( SuddenLy i ml eashi ng his pent-up tmsion.) Well once agai n Sup erfa
g's plan s fail to mat eriali ze. Yes, l was q ui te happy leavi ng our cozy a
bode in O ak land each mo rn i ng and walk i ng briskJ y inco che T heodor
e Roo sevelr High School. Very "Good Morn i ng, Miss Oove"; ve ry "
Good bye, Mr. C hip s." And- by pranci ng and danci ng and sleighr of h
a nd , 1 ac rually managed co keep thei r li rrle mi nd s off sex for one hour
a day. T hey beca me qu i te fasc in atecl by rroc hees, thr illed by Cyrano de
Bergm 1c. 13ut now l'm afraid my pran c i ng wo ul d be q ui te emb a
rrassi ng to chem.
J UNE. Tiiere was a li rrl e i neident two weeks ago rh;ir has him runn i ng li ke a
rabbi t.
KF,N. (Almost angry.} 1r is merely char as I slowl y reali zecl no accred i ted
Engli sh D eparrm ent was i n rer esred in my scunn i ngly overq uali fied
app li c acion, except rhe no ror iously paroch ial hometown-
sli h j U N E. Fi ne, rh at's wh ere yo u belong.
KEN. - I became aware rhar wh ar everyo ne was trying to tell me was- thar
teac hi ng i mpr essionabl e tee nagers in my presenr srare, l cou ld onl y
expecc ro leave qu i te che wrong i mpr essio n. You have no idea how mu
ch noise I make fa lli ng clown.
JOHN. Oh, bull. A big-deal war hero. T hey'cl love you.
l( EN. I don 'r chink so. Ancl rho ugh it seems i nc red i ble to us, they don 'r even
know wher e Vietnam is.
J UN E. Why don'c you just ad mit you're vai n and terrified ancl face i c i nstea d
of-
l( EN . T have simp ly develop ed a n overp owe rin g d istaste for chal k.
J lJN E. Well, fin e, reach i ng is che only ch i ng you' re prepared codo with your
life, yo u obvious l y don 't rhink thar ag rees wic h you anymore. Wha t rhe
hell do you see for yo ur sel P. Huh? What you gor in mincl codo wir h your
life?
KEN. Ju sr pack that away, ali righr ? ( Velling.) Jed! come on. Ler's go!
J U NE. W hat are you goi ng ro do clown here chen? ' C ause you sur e as hell ar
e n'c goi ng back to Sr. Lou is ch is wi nter.
bca k
32 LANFORD
N
l( EN. Jed and I mighr go m Greece; we might move ro Spai n . What: rh e hell FI FT I I OP J Ul,Y
di fference is i r to you?
J U NE. Jed woulcl love thac. H ave you clroppe cl 1. h is on h i m? J
to h av c a pic:n i t , wc'II
KEN. Not one word a bo u t schoo l to Jecl! W e will d eal with that p rivate
yl.
Now rhat 's it - no mor e! 34 LANf-ORD W I I.S O N

GWEN.W el l , l isten, John a ncl J were ralkin g about yo ur proposit ion ,

you know ? The o n ly th i ng was wherc wo u ld you and Jed go. 1-lel l, ify o
u're n ot goi ng ro be here, thcre's no han g- up is thcre?
KEN. (Overa bit.) Not now , do ll , not now.
JO H N. (Ovo:) Latcr, babc.
GWEN. Why rh e hcll is evc ryonc bein g so ci rc um specr? T hey'll have to
know cvenr, u t ll y- We have n't evcn talked price; hell, it may ali be aca
clern ic !
JOH N . (To Wes.) Co me on , off yo ur burr, we'rc go rma rr avel.
WESTON. Goi n' where?
J O H N. W c' re gonn a do thc Matt Fricdman gig; r hcn we're gon n a see my
ho merow n's Founh of J t1l y bas h.
WESTON. No way.
G W E N . 1-Ion cy...
?
JO H N. Big cica!, ger offyour hu tt, ger so me ai r.
WESTON. 1 bcen get ri ng ai r a ll day- l' ve never seen so rnu ch air in my li
.fe KEN. T hey do n't have air in New Jersey ?
W EST O N. T hey gor somet h i n g , but ir ai rú ai
r. JO H N. He hasn'r been ho me in two years.
GW E N .H oncy, maybc I sho u lcl stay bere, 'ca use Wes and me have to work,
yo u know .
JOHN.N o, wc' II a ll go; we'll go on to the firewo rks. You know ify o u dorú
go you' II be d isappo int e d lat er.
GWEN. 1 ju st carne h cre rosee Ken ny, l d id n't bargain for fun e ra ls.
J U N I•'.. IL wo rú be li ke rh at ar al l.
JOI I N. \X/ l, er1 yo u chi c ken o ut , yo u're always sorr y late r-
C W l N. C ome 0 1, 1 1 caúr do i t . 1 thoughc I co u ld ' cause he was so n ic
e, but l ' rn goi ng lO 1-i-eak ou t. l ju sr keep ch in k i ng abo ut my cladd y
and rny b rotl1cr and l ' m go rm a freak. Tell rne it is n't ashes.Tell me it's
sornet hing eles.
K l N. l r 's 8o mctl, i ng clsc.
C \.Vl• N'. . No, 11 0 , yo u know, Jo h nny. Tell me i t's someth in g else. Make it
ber c.er JOI I N . 1 1:t hy, yrn'r l'c Ll1i nk i11g about yo ur ole! man . You carú
think about
li i111 . 1 l,c'. íi11 l '. T l, c l:isL ti rne l sa w h i m, he was-
C \X/1· N'. . N o, 110, 110, yo u' rc cry i ng to cl1ange che su bject; i r's not gorm a
work
to ch a nµ.c r h L· sr, bjt ct. Yo u'vc go rr a tell me i t's so meth i ng else.
JU N E. l 't s pi d ciL·d ¡w:1 d 1cs. \X/c'l'c goi ng clown ro che river, we're going
 ,WI.-.N. - N o , no , G od, no , nor somerh i ng ro eat! Tell me- oh, G od, l'm t •,oi n g
co freak out. I'm reall y go nn a freak.
1 I N. Ba by, you do n'c have ro do a chi n g you clo n'r wa nr ro.
l • N. C wen. I do 110c know why you a re carr yi ng 011. H ave you seen rh a r hox? Have you
seen ic ?
1 , Wl·'.N. No.
l•.N . Well, you know wh ile I was in rh e hospi tal I goc ali chese presents frorn pco ple who
don't go ro ho spi rals- yo u know chac.
Wl N. People are sucl1 creeps! People are so cand y-ass. 1 f..' N.
Well, yo u rerne rnb er ali r he cho colares I go t-
;W l •: N. We broughr yo u a po und of peyo te bu tto ns , we d id n't bring yo u
ül '.N. Bue o r hers, grant ed, less enterpr isi ng. You reme mb er ali cho se cho co b ccs?-
; W l·'.N . Yeah , we sac on your bed and pu nchecl the botroms out of chem.
1, 1·'. N. A nd haJf of rh cm wer e some rh i ng vilc li ke- wha t was i r yo u do n't l ilce?
; WEN.......map le.
lü '. N. I hace jelly choco lates.
: w 1 N. O h, God, I hace jelly cho co lat es.
1{ 1·'. N. W ell, thac box is ftlled ro che rop wic h a six-year suppl y of jelly cho co lar es with
their bonoms pushecl i n. And we ar e fina ll y go in g to Íeecl rh:1t crap ro che fish .
; w EN. I hace ic.
K l·'.N. T he fish wi ll lo ve ic.
;w EN . Why don'c you ju sc chrow r hem in che garb age ? K l N. l c's
aga i nsc che law.
: W EN . Fuck 'e m. Throw i r in rhe garb ag e. Ued enters,Ji·orn 11pstairs, in a suit.)
' jOI I N. We thought we'cl mak e a par ry of it.
. :w EN . So you go on coche parcy ancl W es and 1' 11 sray here. (Screams when she sees
jed.)
jO H N . That's just Jed wich clo th es 011 am i h is lia i r co mb eJ . You know l'm
noc going to leave you. W e go or we sray, I don't care.
C WEN . You co me bac k for us afrer you'vc dumped che ca nd y. JUNE. Fi ne,
now. Aunr Sally, ca n we do rhi s'
S/\LLY. 1'11 go, J un e. Kenny sa id do n'c push me. YoLL al ways push. (Ex its
kitchen. }une fi1l!ows h er Off)
JO I- IN . T hey don'c need chis fric rio n, ho ney, chey're havi ng a li tt le prob lem. C W EN .
Well, I'm havi ng a l ictle prob lern, coo. 1 don't believe for a m i n u Le ic's candy in rhac box; 1
know perfectl y well who's in rh ere. (ShirLey mten
_(r om 11pstairs, wearing a different dress.) O h , rhar' s fabu lo us.

FI F T I-I OF J U LY )
 SH I RLEY. I had it rnade For rne in Paris. ( f'hone rings. jed gets u.p to nnswer 36 LANFORD WI I.SO N
it:)
KEN. Tha t's long disra nce.
JO HN. 1'11 get i r, i r's gorma be Ío r us.
J ED. ( Has picked up the phon e.) Picase do.
JO H N. No, no, picase.
JED. Helio? It's pcrso n-ro-pcrson. ( H a11d s phone to }ohn , goes outsi d e to the
porch.)
J O H N. (On p h one.) Yeah, hel io. Uune re-enters Jrom kú chen.)
J UN E. (To Ken.) She's ralk i ng ro him , fo r Go d's
sakc. KEN. Well, wh y nor? Would n't you ?
J UNE . She's tal ki ng in to th e ref i·igeraror.
GWEN . (Going to }ohn.) lf tha t's che prick in Nash ville, I want ro tal k with
hi m.
J O H N. l' ve got i t, ! 've got i t. [r's cool. Soon as l'rn fin ished.
GWEN. Fi ve fucki n' second s.
JOHN. It's cool, i t's cool.
GWEN. Well, Jesus, break m y arn1. (P ause.) Doesan ybody want a Q uaalu
de? l'm really freaki ng out.
KE N. Darli ng, rhe town of Lebano n is not ready for you freaki ng ou t a r their
Indepenclence Day celebra ci on. T hat i ndependent they aren'c.
GWEN. Bullsh i c; if chey ca n takc you, they can cake an yth i ng.
.) UNE . (To Ken.) 1 don't know if A unt SaUy's goi ng to do ch is ron ight or
not. GWEN. You want me ro t:al k ro her?
K EN. No! (lo }une.) lt's ali up to her.
J U NE. You're che only person I kn ow who can say 'T m not in vol ved" in
forty- fi ve languages.
KE N. Scven or eight.
GWE N. (To Shirley , who has Gwcn's pillbox.) Honey, you better not take one
of those.
J UN E. O h, let her have one.
SH IRLEY. I was m ercly trying ro exam i ne the pill box.
GWEN. Yeah, bur li ke one day you' rc tr ying ro look at the box a nd the
next d ay yo u're bu rn cd out a mi your hai r won't hold a permanent.
Uohn hangs up the phon e.) You d id n't h ang up? I wanted to talk ro
him.
J O ! I N . No, iL was jusi the engi ncer, checkin g our
schedu le. GW E N. You hav en't tal kcd ro Schwa rtzkoff,
have yo u?
JO I I N. H oney, i c's th c Fourth of Jul y.
G WEN. Have yo u 1al ked to Sch wa rtzkoff?
JO H N. Everyonc will he back to wo rk romorro w.

:W EN. Yea h, the creep. Every ti me l leave L A., he calls rhe boa rd. T he las t rim e I
went to rh e hospi tal, I was havi ng li ke my spleen scri pped-
1( 1'.N. Hardly that-
:WE N. Well, who remembers, the so n of a bicch callee! a meeti ng of che board ro scab
me in the back. He vares Dadd y's stock, I can'r voce ir.
S111 RLEY. Scripp ed sp leen?
K l·'. N. Ca ssandra had ir easy, you don'c wa n r ro know.
: W E.N. Cassand ra.? Oh, sh i t, don'c you wish you kn ew ali rh ose myths? Li ke
way clown in some pri mordial place l ' ve goc rh is i n tu i tion rhat i r's ali in rhe
myrhs, ali die answers, if we cou ld ju sr get ir coged1er right.
W l! ST O N. 1 was up in Ca nada, I gor rhis book of Eskim o fol k tales.
) lJ NE. Do you rhink we could go now, wh ile nobody's freakú1g out?
J O! I N. 'f he Eski mos ar e in Alaska.
Wl·'.ST O N. No, rh ey're borh; rh ey're in Ca nada, roo. Did you k now igloos ar en'c wann
i nside?
1< 1:. N. I hadn't rhoughr abou t ir befare, but i r ma kes sense. Wl·'.ST
O N. They're below freezin g.
1<1-'. N. lfit werc above freezi ng, igloos would melc, woulcl n't rh ey?
W l·'.ST O N. T hey have chese bl ubb er-oil lam ps and rh ese fur blan kecs and cach
orher co keep rh emsel ves war m, a ncl rhar 's al i.
KEN . T his isn'c, I hope, che basis for one of your so ngs.
JO H N. Whac ki nd of sto ry is th at supp osed to be?
G\VEN. l never heard ch ac. Where did you hear that?
J UN E. T hat is gross.
WESTON. Isn't rh at gross?
JO H N. I mean, what kind of srory is th at?
W ESTO N. Jr's a fol k story. l read i t in chis
book. J UNE. Even for an Esk i mo.
JOH N. That isn't a folktale. Talley, have you ever heard a fol ktale li ke that?
KEN. Never. And I never wamecl ro.
WESTON. lt is. That story has been han clecl clown from fath er to so n, gen-
eracion ro generacion, verb all y, for hundr eds of years.
SH I RLEY. O h, God .
KEN. That isn't a foJ ktalc, becausc there's
no J O HN. Wha r's che mora l ? T herc's no
mo ral. KEN. Exaccly.
J O H N. Fol ktales have rnora ls. T here's no mora l. T here's no poi n t. ..
\ VESTO N. T hey couJcl n'c ear che meat, so they sta rved ro cleath.
JO HN. They wcre srarving ro cleat h bef-o re he fa rtecl on rhc clarnn
caribou mear. WESTON. Well, rh en che mora l is chac rhar isn'r the way to
thaw car i bou mear. J O H N. No one cou lcl. Tr cou lcl n't happen.
KEN. And if ir coulcl, it is not particul arly beneficia l.
JOHN. Heroic acr ions mu se have savi ng resul ts.
) ll NE . I'm sorry, 1 don 'c find rh at roman ric ar ali.
:w r:N. Wha c's an Eskimo myrh a bou t?
Wl·'.STO N. T hey're mosrly abouc bl ubb er. T hey're really chesc scran ge
peo- ple. Li ke, rh ey rhink ve ry cli fferent fro m rhe way we th i n k.
)0 1 I N. I don'c rhink I've ever been i ncerested i n che Eski mos, have you ?
lrn N. I don'c chink I have.
Wl ;,ST O N. T here's chis one folk srory a bou t rhis famil y. T hey had
all ch is cari bou mear stacked outside th eir igloo. Frozen, see. Bue ir
gor so cole! r hac rh ei r who le winr er's supp l y of meat was frozen i n
one so l id block of ice and non e of che family coulcl gec at it. An d
chey were ali srarvi ng 'cause no one could break off any of chis
mear. So in a k.i nd of las t-dicc h heroic efforc chis youn g Eski mo
warrior goes ou tside a nd lers off chis tremend ous, powerfu l fa rt.
Sl 11 lt LEY. Oh, God .
W l·'.ST O N. And rh aws all the mear.
1 l J N F.. T hac is very gross.
W FS í O N. But ir scan k so bad none of che fam il y could eat ir. And chey
all sra rved to deach.
.S I II RLEY. Oh, God.
F I FT H OF J U L Y
WESTON. Who says?
KEN. 1t is ch e law of
fol kt ales. J O H N. lt
's che law of heroes.
WESTO N. Savin g resu lts for who m?
J O H N. Fo r everybocly. Like rhe l ictle Ducch boy, for Gocl's sake.
WESTO N. Wd J, maybe chese people a re more reali scic chan the
Greeks or che Du tch.
J(J H N. l t isn' t reali sric. lr co ul d
n't happen. J UNE . J\nd i t's gross.
J O H N. And i f ir cou ld h app cn, what do we learn from i t? We
have to learn so m cd1i ng from a f-o l kta le.
KEN. T k n's a Cable, hu c for ch e sake of argum en t.
WESTO N. Wc lcarn th at th a t isn't che way to chaw cari
bou mear. JOHN. Who Gires how to rhaw cari bou meat?
WESTON. T he Esk i mo cares 1 lt\ his
. tapJe cl ier! J UN E. You are ccrtif iab lc,
you know rh at?
38 LA N FO R D W I LSO N
W l·'.STO N. l saicl ic was ch is ali en mincl.
1( ) I I N. This is che sorr of ching you reacl in your own ti me. lü '. N.
Where dicl you fincl h i m, anyway ?
W i '.ST O N. Skip ic.
I OH N. No, you broughc ir up . I rhink i c's very i nreresr i ng. I mean che sco ry is
ricli culous, bue che facc chac you reacl ir 1 fin cl very i ncercst i ng.
l( 1·'. N. Ancl recai necl ir.
W i! ST O N. Skip it. You obviously clon'c have th e sensi i:ivic y ro appr ecia re SI
11 RLEY. I have norhing but sensi rivi Ly ancl even I clon'r un clersran cl ir.
W i·'.STO N. I chought ir was a funny srory ro have been hanclecl down from genera
rion-
j( ) I I N. I clicln'r fincl ir funn y at al i. I see ir as a cragecly. T he enti re family cli es
in rhe snow of srarvacion.
W l•S rO N. They were clyi ng al reacly.
j( )11 N. T har 's whac I saicl. [e is a poi nclcss, vulgar
!( 1! N. Scatological-
) OI I N. - scato logical story.
Wl·'.ST O N. I on ly chou ghr ic was i nceresti ng bccause it is a comp lecely J if ferent
cultur e.
10 1 IN . W es, thac isn'r cul rur e. T har 's hard sh i p.
W l(ST ON. No, no, i r is. l r's an ali en cul rnre. Li ke they call chemselv es "The
GWEN. What are you tak i ng?
KEN. We get chese special l i tcle bi rth- con trol pil ls. In my conclirion we ca n't
takc chan ces.
J ED. Jt's Percodan. (Pom:r a glt1Ss of wrlt er from his watering can.)
GWEN. Thar's l ik e a hors e-size pai nk i ller.
KEN . We try to spice up OLir li ves, what we can.
GWEN. Lis ten, when we hca rcl th at you were wounclecl, Kenny, 1'11 bet I
n ever tole! yo u chis- I callee! up , (1 had to go righr to the head of rhe
clamn Naval Ho spi tal in Ph il adelph ia). I clicl n't get off the phone till he
cole! me Kenn y's sexual perform a nce woulcl be in no way i rnpa i red.
KEN. Depencls on what 1'111 expected to perfor m.
GWEN. Don'c screw ar ound , yo u know what I mean, your sexual perfor
mance. . .
KEN. . . . was a bsol urely in no way i mp ;1i red; thoug h we have had to cut out
one show a nighr.
G WE N. 1 was so thank Fu l, 1 we nt to chur ch and accuall y li t a ca ndl e.
KEN . Appropriately.
SHJ RLE Y. 1 never in tencl to have sex in my liFe.
GW EN. Ho ney, it 's not what you i nt encl.
SH IRL EY. I am goi ng to devore my li fc to are. T he way Marie Curie devoted
he r l i Fe to science.
GWEN. Oh, science. I dicl thar. I d icl.
J U N E. Da rl i ng, you clicl n't devore your li fe to scie nce. Yo u donarecl yo ur
body to science.
People" ancl everybo cly else is "T he Other People."
1(1·'. N. Wes, every people call t:hemsel ves "T he People," a ncl everyon e
else is th e ocher people.
W i•S rO N. T hey have fifcy cli fferent words for snow! ( Pause.) You clcin'c rhink
d1at shows a sub rle mi ncl?
K l·'. N. (Pause.) Wes, of course rh ey have fifry cli ffe renr word s for snow.
. )0 1 I N. (Pause.) T heir wi nrers are fou rteen monrhs
long. l< i! N. They have norh in g else ro tal k abour.
I O HN. Snow is ali rh ere is.
K l '.N. T hey have to fincl sorne way to make ic im eresri ng.
J OI I N. T he Beclou i ns probably have fifcy clifferent worcls fo r sancl.
Wl: ST O N. T hey probabl y do. They're a very i meresci ng people. ( He• slmns
ou t to the porch. jed ente1-s ji-orn porch.)
1( l·'. N. They call chernselve s "T he People" ,111d . ..
) ( )11 N. (Yelling after hi rn.) Wes, you know why you'r e not goi ng to
make a successfu l songwr i ter? Because you have coo man y i ntereses.
:WE N. There's a song abouc syphi lis, ch ough; so ngs can be ab our anyrh i
n g. SI 11 RLEY. You are so clepressi ng. (Jed hands Ken pitl case, points to his
watch.)
Fl FT H O F J U I.Y
GWEN. Are rh ose fi reíli cs?
JUNE. Lighcnin g bugs. (Gwen runs out to garden.)
JOHN. Who 's Marie Cur ie?
S1 IIRL EY. She was only rhe only person to ever receive two Nobel
Prizes for sci- cnce.
JU N E. (Wi th 5/Jirley.) Two Nobe l Prizes.
SH I R.LEY. She was on ly the greatest sc ien tist who
ever li ved. JO H N. Ob y, okay...
J U NE . Aunt Sally, can we go n ow?
JO H N. Sure, ler's go. Gwen can stay with Wes and
Shi rley . KEN. You don't have to stay with Gwen?
J E D. No, he got h is cal! from Ca li forn ia. He doesn't have to hang
around wai ti ng for i t any more.
SHJRLEY. I rhou ghc it was rhe engi neer callin g from
Nashville. JO H N. Come on, lct's go. Befa re rhe sg u i rt
stan s up aga i n.
.'1111 llLEY. T am nor sta rti ng up . 1 said I was goi ng co be a great a rrist, wh ic h )lJNE. (Shaken.) You have no idea of che l ife we led.
1 have said re peare dly for rh e pasr soli d yea r. :\X/ EN . Really.
jllNE. Wirh che empha sis on repea cedly. 11 1 RL E Y. ) lJ NE. (With difficulty controllin g herself.) You've no idea of rh e counrry wc
And 1 am nora sgu i rr! a l most mad e for you. The facc char l d1i nk ic 's aJI a crack now cloes noc
1lJ N E. lf I had it to do over agai n, l wou ld n'c give her ro Aunt Sally. You liv e cake away frorn what we al mosc ach ieved. ( Pause; then she runs upstair-
wirh a bat, you fly li ke a bar. s; exits.)
1( )1 1 N. You might have choughc of d1ac ae rh e ri me. : W EN. (To Shirley.) Baby, you shou ldn'r- [ mean, 1 chink yo u' re greac, buL
l 11 I Z.LEY. 1'111 glad I was rea recl by Uncle Ma n: a nd Aune Sally who ha.el a t ru e you really don'r tell someone that rh ey are tÚ whar rhey think rh ey a re.
policical ,md spiricual awaren ess a nd- Whac's rh e profic?
) lJN E. Fo rget ir. T hey did fin e, you're cloi ng fine; I'm cloing fine. 1 IIR LEY. Who?
I< )11 N. Yeah, bue Maec's gone and Sall y's goi ng ro Ca li forn ia. You' re gonna hav e her :\X/ EN. June was really some ch ing else. You wo ulcl have been pro ud . le was
on your own, now: She's gerrin g to that age wh en ehey sta rc costi ng a loe of bread; a her 1110111 and dad mad e her send you ro Sally.
decent school, pri vare rucors - SI 11 RLEY. I consider mysel f ex cremely l ucky ro have been raisecl by Sall y and
1 llN E. Well, she'll ju sr have ro ger along wi rh ouc che Sorb onn e. Where was Matr.
d1ac bright idea ten years ag o? :\X/EN. Jun e was ready to ca rry yo u aroun cl li ke a flag. I mea n, she was l i ke
)0 1 I N. You were out mak i ng a revol u ci on, who could f·1nd you. Ma Barker or Relle Sca rr. She was reall y dangerous.
llJNE. I dam n well clid whar T damn well had ro do. K l·'.N. Mosrly to herself.
1 1 1 llLEY. T clon'c d1ink she was rnilicanc a l al i. 1 d1ink you were jusc c ross and angry. :wEN. No, you don'e know! Lik e ch ey use d ro hit chhike to rhe se rall ies. 1
: \X/ EN. Are you kiclding me? She was sensa ci onal. c ouldn't cur ir. I c ouldn'c bear che re jcccio n. The firsc car passecl me u p,

40 LA N FO RD WJLSON FIFTHOFJULY, ¡t
But clon'c k noc k your mo t h c r, 'c a use she rea ll y bel ie
I was d estroye d. 1 use d to fly ah cad a nd m ee t th e m. Also , 1 c o u ld n't ved that "Powe r to the Peo ple " so ng, and tha t h urt s.
ma rch' c ause ! ' ve n ev e r had a pa i r o f shoes thar were rea lly co m fo JOHN. lt's a li ri g ht, baby.
rcab le . S H I RL EY. (Quietly deter mined.) l ' m go i ng to be the g reat
J O H N . You we re pr et ry goo d. She hel pcd fire-bo m b Pac i fic G yp s u m, and i t's her est a rt is t M iss o ur i has eve r p rod u ce d .
ow n co m pany. JO ! I N. Wo u l d th at be so cl if fic ul t?
G W EN . O ne co ckta il in thc doorway of che bu ild i ng, b ro ke about si x win S 111 RL EY·.¡ ' he e n ri re M id w e s r. W hat do yo u mean ? T he
do ws. re have bee n fa mo us peo plc- wo rld - fam o us peo ple fro m-
S H IRL E Y. And i r was yo u r ow n co mpa ny? Te n nessee W illi a m s g rew up in
G W E N . O h, ple ase, l was s to ned . Who kn ew what we were d o i ng? We were J O H N. Te nn essce W i lli a m s is fro rn M iss iss ippi.
o n TV, we were on the co ve r o f Time m agazin e, it was a blast. Also it was S I 11 Rl. EY. l lc m ay have bee n bo rn there,
such a cra ck, real ly. You go ro an an ci w ar, e n cl- che -war ra lly, rig ht ? You but he g rcw up J O I I N . /\11d h is peo pl e
marc h to th c W h i ce H o use. we re fro m Te n n cssee, that 's why-
JO H N . You cake a taxi . SJ II RLF,Y. l l e g rcw up n o t th ree blo c ks frorn whe re I l ive no w! Ali
KEN. Bue no necheless. h is for
G W E N . Anyway . You gec rh c rc. Fi ve h u nd red tho usa nd peo p le, s pe aker's n w ti ve yc;11·s !
p la tfo rm s, sig ns thi c k as a co nv e nt io n, eve rybo cly 's h i g h, we' re bom J O I I N. O lrny, wha t do I k now.
bee!, c he p l ace is m o b bed , eve ryhody's o n the law n w it h rheir shi rts o ff, S I 11 IZ Ll Y. A n d Mar k Twa i n. J\ nd D re ise r! And Vi
boys, gi rls; t hey're ea ti ng c h ic ke n a n cl tacos, the s i g ns say: E nd ch e War , ncen t Pr i ce andH a rry ' l i·u ma n! /\11d l lc n y C rab l e!
Ban rh e Bo m b, Black Power an J Gay Power ancl Wo men's Lib ; th e N (Gwen, Ken rmd jolm s11y " Grable" with her.)
az i P a rt y' s rh ere, t he un io ns, de mand i ng jo bs, th ey got C h ic ano Power and
Free th e PO W s and Free che M i g ran ts, A ll e n G ins b e rg is c hant i ng
0 111 m m ove r che lo uds peake rs, C o retta Ki ng is th e re: Jes us! How
s tra i g h t do you have to be to see th at no t h i ng is go i ng to co me from it?
 Bur me! O h, G ocl! M e! M e! M e ! M e ! f am goi ng to be so g rea t! Unq ua li fied! T he g
rea res r s i ngle a rt is t che M i d west h as eve r k now n!
11 N. Yes, yes, do i ng w hac?
SI 11 RLEY. So m e rhin g as ro nis hi ng! J usr asto n is h i ng!
]()I I N . (Overlapping.) In wh at fielcl? W ha r are you go i ng ro be?
SI 11 RL EY. A painter. Ora scu lp cor. Or a cla ncer ! A w ri ter! A co nd uc to r! A co m po se r! An ac
i:ress! O ne of 1:he a n s! Peo ple will d ie. C e rt ai n peo pl e wi ll lic e rally have ca rclia c arrest
at che mag n ir ud e o f m y ac h ie veme nt s.
)1 I N . lf yo u' re go in g to be a da n ce r or a co mpose r, yo u mig h r mat ric u la re inro som e sc hoo l b efo re
roo m uch-
,SI 11 RL EY. 1 wi ll have yo u know that l i n ce nd to s cudy fo r ten yea ts, a nd chen
1 will bursr forrh on th e wo rld . A nd peo ple w ill be abas hed! l •: N.- [ do n't d o ub
t ir for a m in ut e.
1 1 ill.LE Y. Am :ized!
:W EN. l think yo u're terri fic.
SI 11 lt LEY. Asconished! At my magn in 1d e. O h , C o cl1 Look! Is chac she? I s rhac SH E? 1s th11t she?
S I II RL EY. (Slow fy getting to a sitt in g positi o11; with great dignity.) S he J
ie d d e ad of ca rd iac arrest ancl asron is h ment at th e mag n ifice n ce of
my ac h ie vement in my chose n field . O n l y Shakes pea re, M ic helang elo
, Bee thov en, a nd Fra nk Llo yd W i·ig h t hav e r ise n to rny heig hrs befo re m e.
) 1 IN . Ami Madam e C urie .
SI 11 RLEY. M arie ! M a rie ! She had a name of he r ow n. Not M ad a me! Mari e!
J lJ N E. (Almost admiri 11g.) You are so mer h i ng e lse.
. S I 11 RLEY. (To john.) And when I fir st ac h ie ve d my first achi eve men ts I was
ele ve n yea rs yo u nger chan yo u a re now. (She sweeps to the.froru door and
out to the porch. Salfy enters fi'O/n kitchrn with mi enormous chocolates box.)
:W EN. Boy, if I had been li ke thar. S1 11
RLEY. Wes ron .. .
1 lJ NE. Well, we're a li here no w.
I< l•:N . S hhh h. (They Listen.)
S I II RLEY. (On the porch to Wes.)As we' II be L ra ve l i ng to N ashv i lle rogerh er,
1 clo n't wam yo u to chink I have n'r no tice d che way yo u loo k ar m e. Bue

Is it?!T 1S! 1T IS S H E! IT JS S H E ! A H H H H H T--I H 1 beli e ve in pu tt in g e ve ry rhi ng o n the l i ne, and I co u ld neve r se rio usly
HHHHHHHHHHHH! (She collapses on th e jloor. }u ne entm .from co nsicle r ma rryin g yo u, W esto n H u rley. Ali her li fe until she was chir ry o
11pstairs to landing .) ne and ma r rie d M a rrh ew Fried ma n, my Au nr Sa lly l iv e cl wic h th
e
) 1 -I N . She reco g n i zed hersel f on che srreet a n cl fa i n ce d .

FJ FTH OF J U LY 43
42 LANr:ORD W l l .S O N

i rnp ossi ble handicap of bei ng na med Sall y Ta lley. And if I ma
rriecl you, J'cl be Shi rley Hur ley. (She m 11s Off into the garden.)
KEN. Aunc Sal ly, l see you've got Uncle Macr th ere in your lap. I clon't
think we should puc ch is off
SALLY. (long pause.) T hey a li hated him because he was a Jew. Your
rnother, your father, my fol ks, th e who le darnn town haced him.
J U NE. He kept com i ng back clown here.
SA LLY. Oh, nothing bothered hi111 except when it both crecl me. And if it
dicln't bother h i m, i t didn't bother me. He l iked youn g people. Shi
rley was a joy. He was rerr i bly concerned abo ut Gwe n. 1-le was very
u pser wi rh Kenny for goi ng to Vietna m a n d gerting your lcgs
blown off Bue I kn ow he was glad wh cn you mee Jecl. People saicl he
dicln't love chis coun try because he wasrú afraid to speak his mind.
J O H N. T hey say a loe.
SALLY. l think chey were righ r. l dn n'c chink he loved chis coun cry a bit .
He loved the councryside. (Weston is hemd on porch stmmming ':Any ti
me.''.) No, I'm sorr y. l kno w you ali l i ked him , and you don 't mean ro
push , but l'm n ot goin g ro dump Ma ct's ashes clown in that rottin g
boachouse: We'd probab l y al i b reak our necks anyway. Matt fcll throu
gh chose boards more chan th i rty years ago.
KEN . le doesn't reall y matter where, cloes i t? Mate saicl he clidn'c want you to
keep th em, you know wh y-
SALLY. Kenny, f kn ow what you' re planning. Wcll , do it: The place belon
gs to you for what yo u ca n get from i t, bue I wa nt you to know I'm
damn ecl angry with you. And if that's your schem e, then Mate do esn'r
bclong here.
J UNE. (Tó Sa/ly.) Darli ng, if you don't go ronight , you' ll think of sorne rea
son ro wai t the wholc year agai n.
KEN . Sa ll y, ir rna kes no d i fference ro me, bue Mate wo uld-
S!\LLY. Al rogether too man y di i ngs mak e no di fference ro you ali of a
suel den, Kenn y.
J ED . !\ sch eme?
S!\ LLY. Exacrly. And now he th i nk s he isn't in terested in teaching an y
more- He's 1 al k i ng about Spai n a nd G reece
l( EN. Sa ll y, darnn i1-
J ED . That's oka y, lcr him fant asize.
SI\ LLY. (To jecl.) !\ Ítcr all thcse people have gone ro rhe dance, I want to
calk to yol'l . Now evcry bocly go on .
44 LANFORD W ,I l S O N
J l J N E. Sally, you can't cake rh a r box ro Ca li forn ia. T hey won 't let you
in ro th e srare.
!'!A I.LY. I clon't wanr you to badger me. You people go dance. I'm going ro ger
reacly for bed. (She exits to her bedroom.)
l lJN E. Well, ro hel l wirh ir.
:W EN. Is Sally a li ttle- I mean, not rh ar everybody isn'r.
11". I ). She's all right. 1
1 lJ NE . I don't inrencl ro come here every year wai ri ng fo r- 1 rold Dad l'd
get her ro dump rh e da mn ashes befare she ca.m e ou t th ere, i f l had
to dump 1 hem mysel f. (She storms outsíde to th e porch.)
lü : N. Jun e!
ji!.! ) . What scheme?
1(1 •: N . Nod1ing, norhing, we'II tal le comorrow.
J 1 •'. I ) . There's gecring ro be a preny long li st of th i ngs wc're goi ng ro
ralk abo m wmor row.
l{; l_. N 1 know. l11ter.
)1 1 N. Hey, come on, che Lebanon ba nd mu se be starr i ng ro boogie
clow n across rh e river.
1 l•: D. l ' m going ro chan ge if i t's off for ron
igh t. 1(1,'. N. Might as well.
: W EN . Oh, li sten, abo ur your
place. lü '. N. Darling. ..
:W EN. Well, Sally blew ir, d idn't she? Jed, i f we put in a n ai rstri p up on rhe
h i ll, we woul dn't fuck up your garden, would we?
) l•:1 ). No, nor at all. Bur ir rak es twenry years for a garden ro macure i nto
any rhing; we only sran ed dir ee years ago; you don't have ro follow
r:h rough wirh ir- do anything you want. ( Exits upstairs.)
:w EN. I-lell, no, we can hí re gardene rs.
· jOI I N. Write clown what you goc in mi ncl. W e'll do
ir. 1, 1•: N. Hey, we'II cal k.
) I I N. Hey, June . Ued is gone; ]une retum s.)
)1 I N. What say we check out rhe fa i rgroun cls. T he band 's al ready sran ecl.
Hey, look ar rhis. Just rh e four of us. How abo ur rhar.
J l J NE. So n-of-a-bi tch; togerher aga i n.
: WE N. Oh, Jesus, I loved che four of us. T ha r was li ke rhe greare st
period of my lif e.
1 lJ NE. Lec's don'r rerun rhat aga i n. 1 cou lcln ' r t:i.ke ir.
:WEN. You should have srayecl wid1 us; we had like ou r own licde commun e. ..
F f FT H OF JULY 45
 Wl! STO N. No shi c.
T hen Ken ny chi ckcned our. Joh11 and I e11ded up by ourselves 011
K l·'.N . (Ce ts up. Pirks 11p his cm tches.) With rh e sromach, noc rh e arm s.
that fucki ng Europea n tour ju st li ke- not what we'd planned at al l.
(M oves to the Center of the room.) Cha-cha-cha.
J O HN. Lec's go celebrar e. Come
Si\1 .LY. Please show yourself to us aga i n. We wo11' r tell a so ul! ( Pairifu!ly Ken
011. J UNE. You three go0 11.
gets into ti sit tin g position in the midd!e of the floor. Fíe stretches out on his
KEN. Not tonight. l've gor to turn i n. l ' ve got to work tomorrow aftcrnoo11.
hack to rest a mommt. Then begins sit -ups. ]ed ente,, jiwn upstairs. Pause.)
I haven't exercised today. No t ton igh t.
No. Not ton igh c. (To ston.) Good ni gh r. (To Ken.) Goo cl n ighc, i11
GWEN. This is che last n igh t we're here.
1 here.
J O H N. 1 bet chat really ri ps thcm u
lff N. (Who has heard lm :) Night cloll; go 1:0 bed.
p. KEN. No, l'm just beat.
W i ) . Good nighr Sally.
J O HN. Come on, Jun e, lct's go.
'1/\ 1.LY. (To the sky.) Good n igh r. (She goes off in to th e gad en. W, f ston rontin -
J UNE. You go on.
ues to play. Ken is panting very hard.)
JO H N. (To Gwen .) C om e 011, babe, 1 want to show you the nigh tli fe
K.1'. N . - (t x h a usted.) Oh, God... l'm ju sr kno cked ou t. I really. . . have done
around herc.
KEN . C rickets, myself ... i n.
J l·'.I ). So wh at do we do? You wanr to sell che house ancl run1
JU N E. Frogs,
iü '. N. l can'r teach r.hose k ids, Jed .. .We can 'r sray here... I ca rú wal k into a
KEN. Chiggers,
classroom again ... (]ed pi cks hi m up , holding him in his arms. Leani 11g his
JU NE. Owls.
head against him.) I really have kn ocked myself ou t. (jet! hold s him for tt
JO H N. You need a sweater, need a coat?
moment, then carries h im upstairs.)
GWEN. No, l'm fine.
J 1·'.l) . Hang in chere. (Westo11 contú w es to play for a nwment .)
J O H N. You sur e,
now? GWEN. J'm sure.
C U RT A I N
J U NE. Wc' II see you in th c
morning. G WE N. Ycah , see you
END OF AC T ONE
tomo rrow.
J O HN. Hcy, Wes, we're gone. (G wen ,md john exit.}
J UN E. T hosc rwo exhausr me.
KEN. Gct over ir.
J UN E. Easy said . (Looks tlt Ken far a long moment. Then gets up and tu rm off
the light on Kens d esk. Sal/y reappears on porch, dressed in her nightgown
and robe.)
WESTON. Hey, Sall y, what 's happ en i11g?
SALLY. l t d idn't rain. T here's even goi ng to be a 1110011. Look at that sky.
J UN E. f'II sec yo u in rhc rnorning. (She goes upstaú:r.)
KEN . Goocl n igh t.
S/\LLY. You have rú secn an yth i ng?
WESTO N. Wasn't really look i n' .
S/\ LLY. ( !iJ th e sky.) We know you're up there. We won 't hurt you. We want
to SCC )'O ll .
WESTO N . We'd li kc to ra lle wi th yo
u. SALLY. You can tr ust us.
FI FT I-I OF JULY

46 L AN FO RD W I L S ON
ACT II J 1·'. I ). Did he have a nd ers?

The porch. Jed is sítting in the sunshine, reférring back and farth between
uuo books, trying to rompose ll Letter on ll lega f-size yellow pacl. A bel! tolls
in the distance, five seconds between earh deep, heavy stroke.
Shirley enters. She enjoys bei11g alone with jed far a moment . She looks out
ouer the gmden, quite forgetting that }ed does not see her there. She notices
the bel!.
SH I RLEY. O h! Listen!
JED. U1m1ps afaot.) Oh, God.
SH I R_LEY. "Ask noc for whom t he bell tolls... l e colls fur... "
J ED. (Overlap.) I t colls for l-larley Cam pbel
l. S HI RLEY. Who?
JED. Your A une Sally went to di e Fu neral. T hey ri ng che bell befa re che
ser vice and afte r che service.
SHJRLEY. O h. Oh, God, now ir so u nds horrib le. Oh, God, that's mo u rn
Fu l.
J ED. l f che ma n made more t ha n a hundred chousa nd a year and left a
widow, they ring ic al i dur i ng che serv ice as wel l.
S1-II RLE Y. We, of coursc, are che
hrst. J ED. Fi rsr?
SHJR LEY To a risc ch is morni ng.
J ED. You're th e last. You're up i n ti me for brun ch.
GWEN. (! mide, 011 phone.) What che fuck for, d ia l one?
SH I RLEY. Gwen is up?
J ED. Yeah. And on che phon c.
SH I RL F.Y. U n cle Kenn y's up ?
J ED . Yeah, Sa lly and I had breakfast at seve n and d id a Few thi
ngs. SH I RLEY. Li ke whac?
J ED. Never m i ncl . And I drove her to ch urch, woke u p Ken, and we made a n
herba l an ti- Fungus concocti on guara n teed to fa i l, and sprayed th i rty fi ve
ph lox plan es. Wi th Wes's, uh ... supervision.
S I II R LFY. (l l d_jw ts.) O h. Yes. . .1 slept. . . fi tfi.dly. 1 tossed, l.. .
J ED . Tu rn cd
SH IRI.FY. 1 had t h is rcal ly wci rd clr eam . I was bei ng chased by a
deer. Ali th rough che woods, over hridges, chis huge deer. Whac does
a dream li ke rha t mean ?
",1 11 RLEY. I do n'r reme m ber. Why? Ued goes back to his books.)
11 ·'. I ). 1 f you happen ro d ream abou c seven fa r cows a nd seven lean
cows, I k now what chac one mea ns.
SI 11 RLEY. I would never dream of a cow.
, ¡1 : 1 ) . Nota feisty youn g heifer? Jum pi ng fences, try in g ro get imo che corn?
SI 11 RLEY. O h, please. 1 certa i n ly hope you clon't th i nk of me l i ke char! l am
nor a com mo n cow! I ama ... flowe r, Jecl. Slowly ancl frighcen i ngl y open
i ng her pecals onto che sp ri ng mo rn i ng. A cri mu -a-ti mu l us, a ri m u-
an openin g bud.
Jl:.1 ). A m i mulu s. You're probably a rn i m u l us.
S I II RLE Y. Whac's a mi mu l us?
)1•: I). Mimulu s is a wild flower. Pí n kish-yell ow, the monkey flower, they call
-
SI II R LEY. No, not chac one. Nora monkey ílow er1 1 ama . ..
Jl".I ) . Whac?
SI 11 R LEY. W ell nor - 1 don'r k now. A nJ ir 's i mpor ra nt, roo. Bu r. . .1 can see
i r. A nearly whi re, small, si ngle. . .
)1•: I ). What about an apple blossom? The fir sr rree of spring ro-
SI 11 RL EY. No, oh, Go cl, no. A.ncl grow i n to an app le. A fat, hard, red,
bloared, rasteless app le? For some cro ne to bake in a pie for her d i cch
J ig ger hu sband to eat wi thouc even knowi ng ic ? Oh, God. Never.
I'm mo re rhan li kely che daugh rer of C he Gueva ro or Lawrence
Ferleng hen i. My rnot her was very prom íscuous.
P,:I). So !'ve heard .
SI 11 RLEY. (Th i nks.) I am a blossom rhar opens for one day on ly... and I foi l.
1 a m nor pollin arecl. lc's roo early for d, e bees. They don't find me. And
1 fode. D ropp íng my pecals one by... Whar kínd of flower is cha t? (He
thinks a moment .} A wilcl rose?
JI".! ). No, you woulcl n'r flower till May ar rhe ea rl iesc. T here'd be bees lí ned
u p a roun cl che block.
S I 11 RLE Y. Well, whnt? Daisies a re when?
j l •'.I). No.
SI II R LE Y. Peony?
¡i,'.1 ). T here are so rne a nemones. . . chat bloom i n
March. S I 11 IZLEY. An a nemone. . .
1 1 •:I ). The original cines are from G reece, so rhey're ali clai mecl by heroes
who íd l in barde and rheír blood seeped i n co che grou nd and anemo
nes

F I FT H OF J V I.Y 4t
48 LANFORD W I I.S O N
SH IIU, EY. (Hand on sleeve.) Jcd . T hank yo u. T his is, you know,
sprang u p, but I think rh ey've fo und one or nvo so mew here else that very impor- rant to me.
ha ven't been cla i med yet. J.ED . (Mock seriousness.) Sh irlc y. lt 's im pon ant to
SH IRL EY. Do you have a p icru re of ir ? us all. SH I RL.EY. I know .
J ED . It's around; 1'11 look it up . J.ED . Wc don't dwell o n ir because we tr y to spare you rhe pressur e of
 all our ex pectatio ns. We mul ti tudes. never gi ve in. A goo cl bar de, especia ll y if i r's over mo ney, brin gs our che
SH I RL EY I know. But do n'r. Do n'c spare me. le makes me st ro ng. stoic in rh em.
GWEN. (Off, on phone.} Yea, wcl l s crew you, too. I clo n'c li ke the way you're l lJ N E. (In and out .} T his is jusr rh e frrsc b at ch; ano th er co ming.
handli ng ch is whole rh ing . (S lams phone down.) SI I i RLEY. G ire! your lo ins ; M o m's maki ng bach bu ns.
KEN. (Coming out.) Shc has1Ú bccn o ff thc pho nc ali mo rn i n g. Your mother S/\ 1 .L.Y. Oh, dear. T har's q u i te a walk .
was up at the crack of ten and is baking bath buns. i-:1;, N. Looks li ke i r's done you i n.
J ED . Barh buns? S/\ I .LY. Don'r look at me.
SH IR LEY. Bel ieve me, you don't want to know. Go d, wh en she gecs dom es- K l •: N. Why cli d n'r you call someone to pick yo u up ?
ric , rh ere's no ho pe.
jl-'.I). (OverLapping.) l co uld have-
KEN. She speaks not wi rh forked to ng ue.
,\ /\ l , LY. (To Jed.) I wal ked chac road to schoo l b efore even your mother was
J ED . I'rn no go ocl ar rhis; yo u'd berter reconside r.
ho rn.
KEN. No way, do ir yourself.
l( i: N. You d id n'c know h is mo cher. She co uld have been fifry. H e mighr have hé!
SH IRL EY. Whar are you doin g?
e n ch e- what's che expressio n?
JED . I'm trying to answer a lerter.
11 •: D. Las c fru i r on che tre e.
KEN. l th i nk th ere's a harpy in rhc bottom of our garden. (Yelling.) Yo! Aune K F. N. 1 wasn'c go i ng to say that.
Sally!
S/\ 1 L Y. l'm afraid l've done someth i ng very stup id, Jed.
SALLY. (Offitage.) 1 sec yo u , I sec yo u. Don'r rush me.
P,:I ) . How's that?
KEN. She's at rh e roses aga i n.
S/\ l,LY. N ever rnind.
S I-1IRLEY. 1 ret i red late, of cour se, I was packi ng.
KF.N. What are you nvo plo crin g?
J ED. T ho ugh r yo u were hcre for ano rher t:wo weeks. /\ 1 ,LY. Never mind. Whac terr i ble ho uses 1hey've builc alo n g th e roa d .
SH IRLE Y. 1 will p robab ly retu rn afte r only a few days; I can'c i magi ne W i ndow s rig h t out co t he stree t. I'd feel naked as a jay. Oh, d car.
Nash ville to ho ld any d1i n g of real int erest.
1( 1 \ N. Don't walk rhar aga in . T here's alway s so rneone here co d rive yo u.
KEN. I'rn q u it e surc th e Ci ty of Nashvi lle is not ready for you.
SI 11 RLEY. (With a Letter jed has received.) T hat's very i mpressivc. ''S issi nghurst
J UN E. (Offitage.) O ursid e, cveryone omsid e. This is jusr rhc firsr batch.
C ascle. Property of che Nacional Tr ust."
KEN. (To Sally.) I rho ught you wcre going to O ld Man C am pbe ll's funeral...
)l m . Co me on.
SALLY. (Entering.) O h , fin e. Old Man C am pbell. Im agi n e Harley Ca mp bell J(l, : N. The l ucky bastareis.
bein g O le! Man C arnpb cl l. No, no, 1 co u ld n't do i t. T har 's the hott est
SI 11 RL EY. Have you been ch ere?
place I've ever been in my li fe. T he min isrer is mad at che whol e co n grega 1 l •:t). 1-l uh ? Yeah.
rio n. T hey voted clown a new air concliri oner, so he shut rhe old o ne l{ l:. N. Before we laid o ur rhe garden, we cook a rou r of ch e corn petiri o n.
off and to le! them i r broke. He's tryin g to sweat them out. They' Jl
,\ 1 11 RLEY . Is ir fab ulo us?
Jl •:I ). lr's fabulo us.
. 1 1 1 RLE Y. "J e d Jenkins, Esquir e... "
11".I). In other worcls, no c Sir or Lord.
SI 11 RL EY. "First of ali, we are wr i1i ng ro co nfi rm th e id en tifi cat io n of yo ur
rcd iscovery of che Slat er's Crimson Chi na rose... "
lü : N. T hank you so very much, rho ugh ac tua ll y we did know char from rh e
Royal H o rric ul cural Socie ry.
SI 11 RL EY. Ir's very excici ng ro h av e discovered a rose everyon e rh oughr was
lo se ages ago. How clic! ic gec here?

FCFTB OF J U LY 51
50 LANFORD Wl LSO N
KEN . Wc scnt it to
KEN. We assum e someone pla n ted i t. them. J ED . T hcy
SH l R LE Y. " W h ich bloo med in o ur test gard en this summ er and wi ll be moved asked us for .i t.
to a prorn i nent posit ion in the rose ga rd en this aut um n." SH IRL EY. "Ancl second - " Sho u lcl rhat be "second of all?"
KEN. Do you lo ve ic? Only che greates t rose garden in che wor ld. KEN. Cert ai nl y not. Neve r.
SH IRL EY. H ow did rh ey gct i r? SH IRL EY. " S econd we wo u ld like to i n form yo u that- "
GWEN. (Entering, foi!owed by \-\íe' ston.) Oh, God, would yo u feel that fuckin ; w 1 N . T hese reall y rand y, coun u:y Repub li c an high schoo l jun io rs d ri nk
' sun ? Don'c !et me fall asleep. 1 fry li ke a sta rfish. (Fl.op s down in the su n.} i n g b eer o ur of a paper sacie
S1-II RLEY. "Seco nd we wo u ld li ke to inform you th a t th e Phyle-H ast i ngs 'i /\ 1 .LY. I reme mb er.
Nur sery has- "
: w EN . You've never seen a ho rn ier-
G\'ifEN. I read rh at: letter and they're so fu l! of i t. S l 11 RLEY. I wou ld not have been i nt eresred.
SHIRLEY. If yo u p icase. ;W EN . . . . co llectio n of m ale brawnin ess i n- o h , Go cl, ic was John ancl l(
GWE N. Sorry. H and me a cu p. enny when we were in Berk eley. 'f hey were exacdy rh e same rand y fa
SH I RLE Y. " . . . N ursery has req ucsted the ho no r o f add i ng this rose to their r mh ands wh en we fir st met.
catalog ue so i t can o nce aga in be propagated and grown as it deserves. You l<I-'.N . M e? A far mhand ? Son of my fath er who never farme cl a day in h is li le?
of cour se will be credir ed wit h th is i mp o rtant red iscove ry. . ." ;W EN. Yeah , an d Joh n's fach e r was a den tist! T hey even lo o k lik e yo u loo
JED. (Embamzssed.} Blah , bla h, blah, blah. ke cl chen. T hey scill have lo ng hai r.
GWEN. (Overlapping.) T hey are so full of it. No way, baby- 1\1-'. N. Jo hn and I moved in q uit e a d i ffe re nr ci rcle from your
SH1 RLEY. (0 11erlapping.) H e rcd iscovercd i c, I do n'r know why no t. ;w t:N. Y-0ti're such a sno b.
GWEN. You ch eck with a l aw yer bcfo re you sig n anyth i ng. T he lir ncys wo 1, 1·'.N . W e were quit e a d ifferenr social stra r um from che horny river trasl1
u l d as soon rip you off as lo ok at you.
you' re trying to asso ciate with us.
KEN . T hey dicl raisc it , afrer ali .
;w F,N . H o rny. River. 'f rash! T hat 's exacd y wha c chey were. And you were
GWEN. Right, am l lo s t i.t. Fuck 'e m. Thcy want it so bad they can pay for cxacdy li ke rha r. (Hits his leg.) Ouch!
it. No t with ou r a comm issio n. Have you got Sweet ' n' Low ? O h, forget i t. , 1 :1 . N. Fi bergla ss! Light but st rong.
S1-1 1 RLEY. H ow was the ce lebrat io n?
;w EN . - You ca n't tell me yo u d id n't d ri n k beer om of a sacie Yo u jerk ed
GWEN. When ?
off behi nd che same bushes chey d o.
S H IRL EY. T he fir ewo rks you we nt to .l ast nigh t? 1, l·'. N. l pro fess to have no memor y of che bus hes r jerked off behind .
GWEN. Oh, hcy, 1 wanted to come back and get you. It was grea1. T here SH )l•'.I ). Very fic kle.
I R.LEY. T h ey wcre prctty?
lü '. N . Wel l, I wa rnecl you . John mters.)
G WE N . - were thcsc really- - wh ac? T hc fi rewor ks? Yóu've n ever seen any-
' W EN . H o ney, good, tell chern. ' f here was one blo nd st ucl- w hat was h is na
th i ng so lame i n yu ur l ifc.
rne, you said you lrnew him.
KEN. Present co mpany a l ways excepted.
JOI I N. Jim Pendergast' s lil de broche r. O n l y he's assum ed a very si n isrer sryle.
GWEN . T hcrc were ch ese- (Slllps him.)- field hand s KE
1, 1·'. N. D ecidedly un srab le family.
N. (O veriapping.) You would strike a c rippl ed fairy.
:W l N . I don'r care, h e was gorgeous. Sh i rley wou ld have lo ved him.
SI 11 RLEY. 1 don'r chink abouc men phy sic all y. I never lia ve. I chink abouc a li
people spi ricua lly.
52 LAN FORO W IL SO N ;w 1 N. r know, bue you gotta gec over th ar real qu ic k. (To John.) Oh, baby,
:1r 110011 our rim e you gocta call Sc hwa rrzkoff, because they' re really
screwi n g up . I don'c care i f we have to fly back to LA. to n ig h r, we h ave
1 0 st raig hcen him ouc.

)( )1 I N. H e call ed here? Why d id n'r l hear-

: Wl·'. N. 1 callee! h i m, 'ca use we had n'r heard frorn him and wh en he's sil en r
lo r tlu ee days it mea ns he's gor somerh i ng up -
1 ( ) 1 1 N. Honey, we got a record in g session -

F IF T H O F J U LY 53
itics oí Tasman ia ancl the stat c wagcs precedent , a nd the whole
G \V E N. I don't care. 1 h ave to th i nk abo u t o n e th i n g ar a ti me. T h ey are n', song ali over again. H c's rcally no t l istcn i ng to us ar all. Uu11e
go i n g to do what we want un less we real ly lean o n him.
comes in with break
JOHN. He ju st panics. l cold yo u itll be ali rig h t. I' ll worry about that. You fast.)
wo rry abouc Nashvillc. J U N E. H cre i r is.
GWEN. (Backingdown a hit. ) No l ie, rhough, he sta rt ed in o n rhe i n ncr pol
 JO H N. l know. I' ll ralk to him . You worr y about yo u.
GWEN. Lean o n the son oí a bit c h. H e do csn't lia ve a leg to stand on.
KEN. Beggi ng my parclo n.
JO H N . (lo Ken.) H ey, yo u r nam e's goi n g to be mud , roo .
KEN. W hy's tha t? Noc r hat I mind. Kcn nerh M ud e!.
JO HN. Mudd Tallcy, l th i nk. We tal ked to Mac. Bo y, he never changes.
G WE N . Oh, yea h, wc tal kcd to you r boss. What a pric k.
J U N E. Wo uld n't you know he'd be therc.
SH l RLEY. W ho's M ac? Ued gestum inside. Sally shakes her head.)
J U NE. M ac McCo n nell ; pr i nci pal oí t he h ig h schoo l.
KEN. Sup cri ntcnd cnt , n ow.
J UN E. Gocl, l hat ed him al mo st as much as he hat ed me.
GWEN. No, he said he'tl J i ke to sec you wh ilc you' re clown.
J U NE. No way.
GWEN. It was John he hat cd. Said he susp ecred him of cheati ng 011
JO H N. You bel i eve him still harpíng 0 11 rhat after ten years?
SH IR LEY Why is Un cle Ken's narn e m ud ?
J O H N. He st ill th i n ks you're going to be teach i ng th ere rhi s fall.
KEN. He's vcry mistake n .
JO H N. You oug ht ro call h i m.
J ED. W har d id yo u tell him ?
JO H N. l'm no t goi n g to tell him no th ing. Mac th i nks yo u' re happy as a pig
in shi r.
SH I RLF.Y. Please, f'm try i ng to car M o ther's coo ki ng.
G WE N. He was very cxc ir ed about one oí his stud en ts ret u rn i ng to the fold .
ICEN . T hc prospcct exci tes me not at al i.
J U N E. Sa lly, scra m bl ed cggs, hor bat h bu
n¡s S A LLY. No, d1a nk s.
GWEN. List en , who can lrno w anyt h ing ? Whcn <lid we see you in New
York? J ED . T h rce ycars ago.
54 LANFORD W I LSO N
JUNE. Ca me runn i ng back here.
KEN. Hardly runn i ng.
J UN E. C rawled in to a closer.
:W I\ N. Was that chr ee years ago? T hat was ali yo u were ral king abo ut. Jed
was goi ng to bu ild ch is gard en, you were goi ng to teac h.
lü '.N. Don't starr on r hac agai n.
JlJNE. Actua lly, rhey had a li tt le Fete to welco me che re r u rn i ng Vec rwo
weeks ago- a nd Kenn y was take n a ro u nd to meec a li h is classes-
1{ I Z N. (Overlapping.) Yes, Jed and I visic ed chat lo vely new building. Dear old
Mac was a lirrle edgy abouc Jed, he cou!J n'c qui te pur chat coger her
ll:,1 ). 1 ch i nk he was co mi n g prerry clos e.
l, 1:. N. P robab ly be rhrilled. An opportuniry to exh i bi r h is l ib eral colerance .
Uut o rher chan tha c, 1 foun d him quite pleasa nd y condesce nd i ng, did1ú
you .
J 1:,1 ) . No co m plai ncs. Said he li ked gardens.
1 lJ NE. And Ken had che pleasure of bei ng i nt rocl uced to che fo ur classes he w¡;
¡u[d be teachi ng chis fall.
tests .
J F.D. Well, ac tuaUy o nly ch ree-
1(1 Z N . (Armoyed.) f b egged off che fou rth and we n e back ro rh e car.
J i•'. I ) . We nc in foil of piss ancl vi negar, cam e o u r wh i te as a
sheet.
1( 1·'. N. T jus t wasn'c q u it e ready for chem; or th ey ce rta i n l y weren'r read y
for me. We don'r have any milk our here, l can 't d ri nk-
: Wl N . Whar did rh ey do ?
Ji".D. H.e ju sc o verr eacred.
1( 1 •'.N. (Overreacting.) l <lid noc ove rr eacc! J un e , co ulcl yo u hand me my
cruc c hes.
ilJNE. (Overlappi11g.) No one had prepared cheri1 for h i m- M ac has alw ays
been abo uc as taccful-
1( 1·'.N. (Biting.) No, I i:hink ir was mor e a q uestio n o í a si ncere lac k of rapp o rc.
:wr.N. A loe oí messy q uescio ns, rig h r?
' 1, 1 •'. N. No, I was quire pre pared for rh e messy que srio ns. Dry urban i ry;
humo rous self-d eprecacio n.
11-D. T he kid s wo uld n't loo k ar h i m. ( Pause. Nobot61 looks up.)
lü ,N. Which God knows I sho ulcl have been prepared for, bue for so me rea
son I was not.
)OI I N. T hey were grossed o ut , for God's sake .
1, 1 \ N. Well, iíI had so rn e deep-seaced need ro reach , rryi ng to gec a r Jo hnny
You ng's speech prob lems wi ll ful fi ll rhac quite n ic ely for a few mo re
weeks.
:W E N. Thac's ali roo fu ckin ' hum ani ta rian ; I never rrusc chac gig- ic's
cree py.
l( l N. Noc ar ali, che gi.m p lead i ng rh e gi. m p; we fo rm a very cozy sym posi um .
i OI I N. So, d o b o rh.
FI FT H OF J V I.Y S
KEN . Hard l y a closec.
J UN E. And has been pan ic-str
icken ever si nce. WESTO N.
(Afier 11 pause.) O u t of a pap er
 sack? '11 11 R.LEY. No! O h, ugh! How could you. O h, gwackk! You die! i t wi th him ?
GWEN. Yeah, passi ng th cse q uart beer bot tlcs in pa per sacks. Ali very J lJ NE. T chou ght she was tal kin g a bou t me. (To Shirley.) O h, shu c u p;
covert. None of them over seventecn. St rictly from twenty-four-hour you're too mu ch.
hard -ons. IO HN. Everyone clid i c with ] un e.
J O HN. T he lu cky sti ffs. ;w EN. Your mo ch er was a bigger Pop-ra rr rhan I was.
KEN. Lucky now to ger it up i n twen ty- four hour s. Knock on woo d. (H its K l '.N. Noc ac ali, not till aft er you moved in and she start ecl runn i ng wi rh
his leg.} the- wh ac do you call th em?
WESTO N. Knock on wood' Knock on wood? SA i.iX T he wro ng crowcl, I ch i n k.
GWEN. 1 chouglu you said th cy were ftb erglass. K l·'. N. W hen we were i n schoo l here we used ro sleep over and diclcll e each
KE N. A techn ic al i ty.
other.
WESTO N. Oh, sh i t.
1 ()1 1 N . We were rwelve years old.
SHl RLEY. If yo u
"iA I.LY. T he cwo you?
picase.
) U N E.. T he cl1ree of
GWEN. Oh, you're too mu ch·. w e told you Kenn y h ad wooden legs from his
us. S I II RL EY. O h, tha
Vietna m-
r's- SA1.LY. lt cert ai nl y
KEN. "Tour," we cal! i c.
is.
WESTO N. O h, wow.
l< i '.N. ['el been in !ove with you for years.
KEN. Hea vy, huh ?
J ( ) I IN . You were noc. T hat was ju sr d i dcl li n .
WEST O N. O h, wow. l though t you meant he cou ld dt i nk a lot of sake. 1(1,'. N. O h, yeah, rememb er rhe cloub le dat e when yo u coulcl n'r get Ma rgy
J O H N. T hat wo uld be a hollow lcg.
Ma jors to go ali che way-
WESTO N. No shi t. How com e?
10I I N. One ri me. And 1 was cl runk .
KEN. Well, it was ei ther accept th eir kind offer of a prosthet ics d evi ce or 1( l·'. N . Well, l wasn't. 1 hacl plann e<l it ali week. I knew da rn n well you we
ftnd a posi tion as a vcry cu mbersome basketbal l.
ren't goi ng to get anywhere wich Margy.
SH I R.LEY. O h, no.
;WE N. O h, God. Rememb er goin g ali rh e way!
K EN. A nd I opced for a sernb lance of mobili ty.
1( EN. J mu se have been in !ove wirh yo u a r least cwo yea rs before we ra n
J U NE. U n less you could ha n clpick both basketba ll teams.
off to Berkeley. He was never out of this V-n eck, sky-bl ue cashm ere
K EN . No , no, l'vc n ever l i ked bei ng tossed around by a bun ch of sweaty
sweat:er, f"u ll of holes.
cc romorphs.
) O1 I N. Mostly from yo u pokin g your fin ger in t:hem.
J U NE . 1 <loú1 lrn ow. 1 a lways rhough t of John as a sweaty eccom
: WEN. He's tickli sh.
orph. KEN. O h, picase. T ha t was man y m oons ago.
· ¡ U NE. Very.
J lJ NE . O n l y 11 r1een yca rs.
lrn N. Well, chen you discoverecl the Copper Q ueen.
SI 11 IU .l Y a11J WEST O N. On61 ft fteen yea rs?
:WEN . T hac would be me.
J O I I N . l\ut d1ose wcrc prert y hoc years back in Berkeley.
j lJNE . Nob ody said John didn'c kn ow a good rh i ng when he saw i r.
K E N. O 11c ha tl to move wi th che times. Ued goes i nto the house.)
:W E N. D a mn scraight. (!ed ret11rns with milk and Ken's carie.}
G \X/ E N. l t cou l tln 't h avc heen al! tha t hot wi th Kenny. You were sleepi ng
, \ 1;:N. And they all li ved happ i ly ever afcer.
wi rh Jun e a t th c s:1111c ti me.
: WE N. Oh, I loved us then. l rememb er once we bought tw emy dollars'
worch of daffodil s ancl your mother a nti 1 ran up and clown 0 11 rh e
56 LA N F O R D W I I.S O N N i mi tz Freeway givi ng chem to all rhe scalled d rivers.
Wl STO N. Why?
: WEN. Why? ] un e had decidecl rhey were wo nderfu l.

J UN E. U nfrirt u nat el y, t h cy hated us. T hc traffic scarted movin g; we n
earl.y go t run clo wn .
KEN. You were clecid eclly before yo ur tim e.
GWEN. Thac fuckin ' w ar 1 D am n , ic fuckcd us. [r brokc my hea rt when we
F I FT H O F J U I.Y
were n' c tog echer. lf onl y yo u'd co me wirh us to Eu ro pe ev erychi
ng wo u ld have been so d iffercn t. T he whole id ea was goi ng off to
escape from your d raft rh i n g . I'll nevcr forg i vc you for ch ickeni ng
out on chac.
 KEN. I d id n'c c h ic ken o u t; yo u wc re just a fraid of che com pecicio n.
GWEN. You wo u ld nevcr h avc been i n N a m, you wou ld n'c have been i
n jur ed; Ju n e wo ul, d ú have go tee n n1.ili ra nt and est ran ged from us.
WEST O N . f read th is boo k. Li ke abo ur wa r expe riences in N am ? lt s
aid
shock and dope wcrc li k e com mon. In che godda m ned readi ng roo m;
Fa i rleig h D ick in son Un i versi ty.
KEN. (To Shirley ) T defy anyo nc ro d iag ram chac sen ccnce.
WE ST O N. Really heavy.
KEN. Thc rcad in g room ac fo i rlcig h D ic ki nson was hcavy ? Vi etn,rn1 was
hca vy o r che book was heavy.
W EST O N. You were chere, ma n, l ca n't tell you.
KEN . Noching was common exccpt the Americ an t roo ps, and we were vcry
co m mo n i nd eed.
WESTON. Likc yo u' rc tryi ng to be cool , bue yo u s ti ll c arry it a rou nd .
KEN. Howeve r aw kwarcUy.
SALLY. Your mot her was very proud chat yo u wen t. I co uld have ki lled he r.
KEN. Wasn 't that incerest i n g? I tho ught so, too. And asham ed that I carne
baclc
S1-Jl RLEY. O h , t ha t isn'c t rue.
J U N E. T he he ll it ain 'c. SALLY Don't kid yo ursel f.
WESTON. You s ri ll rhink abo ur it.
K EN . 1 do n't wa ke up screa mi n g any mo re from visio ns of my budd ies flo at i
ng th ro u g h che bl uc: sky in pieces, if that's what you mean ...
WESTON. Oh, sh it.
KEN. Exacdy dia t. T he dream is more li kely of sorne goddam ned genera l
mov i n g clown the row of beds in the ho spi t al, handi ng our medaJs li ke
aspi ri n. T hat's r he first thin g l saw when I regai ned conscio usness.
J U NE . Be::n i n g th e bushes for heroes.
SI II RI.EY. Uncle Ken has fiv e medals.
KEN. You rn ay n ot be proud of chat. WEST
O N. What was ch e sav in g g race ? KEN.
Beg p:m lon ?
58 LANFORD W I LSON
GWEN. We' II cake good care of her. Johnny promised me
JUNE. No, not chis ti me; another ti me.
SH lRL EY. What clo you mean ? You can't!
J UN E. Ju st coo l it, because yo u' re not goi ng.
SH lRLEY. When have l ever had thc opportunity to go sorne place? This
W l·'.ST O N . You sa id a he rn ie ac rio n had to have a savi ng g
race . lü '. N. Si lli es t thing l ever heard of-
W l·'.ST O N. Like wich the Eski mo, yo u said r here was no savi ng g race i n
lü : N. O h, Westo n, doll, l'm a ll i n favo r of yo ur Eski mo he ro. I chi nk he was
a man among men. I co mplecely blame rhe fam il y. You see, if yo u had
sa id chat che warrior was ílacu lent on ch e wa l rus blu bber. ..
W l (STO N. - ca ri bou mea r-
l< i ( N. .. .Be that as it may, and ir sra n k so bad rhac che fam il y co u ld hard ly
cae i t, bue chey mana ged and su rvived, we co uld perh aps acce pt rhat as
:111 un pleasa nr bur. not al mgerh er vaing lo rio us moment in r.he his to ry o f
th e Eski mo. l rhou gh c at che ri me char che fom il y was too picayun e fo r
a mych.
W EST O N. Oh.
K l·'.N. See?
W l STO N. Yeah.
1( 1 •: N . Yeah. T he fa m il y disappo i nrecl me cleep l
y. W EST O N. So rh e savi ng g race-
1(1-'. N. - wo uld have been sur vi vi ng. D o n'c c hok e on i r, d o n'r rurn up your
no se, swallo w it and li ve, baby.
W l'.STO N. Even if it sti nk s, man. K
EN . Dig it.
W EST O N. Right o n.
K l N. T hey co u ld have forever afr e r been known as che fam il y who bravely
ate che fart-th awed mear and wenc o n ro become...
SI\ LLY. - vegetar ians.
J O I-IN . Baby, we gorta pack i f we're goi ng ro h i t the road by r h ree rh is afre r-
noon.
J UN E. T har'll gec you rh ere by wh en?
) O HN. Five. We're d ri vi ng ro Sp rin gfield, ho pp i n g a pla ne.
JU NE. Oh, of cours e yo u are. Oed begins to sing: "Hit the road, Jack. ''.)
SHJ RLEY. I prob ably won'c stay wi c h yo u more cha n a few days; I can ju st
crowd you in as ir is.
C WE N. We_go everyvvhere wi th an o pen- return ricke t.
1 UNE. T h is one is reru rn i n g before she leaves.
Sl-11 RLEY. T here's noch i ng pressi ng chis week.
J UNE. Can i t.
SH IRLE Y. W h ar do yo u mean, can ir ?
C WEN . I ch o ught you'd d ecicle d ro lec her co me. Jo hn ny, yo u said ...
J UN E. The far chest rhing from my mi nd . I wo u ld n' t consid er it.
F I FT H or: J u 1. v ,(
could be th e beginnin g oF a whole new horizon for me.
J UN E. T he one thin g I can't bring mysel F to clo is d isc i pli ne the brat. I
hat ee!
Mom for that.
S1-JI RLEY. We ll, yo u hacl goocl reaso n!
J UNE. We' II clis c uss it sorne other ti me.
 SI-I IRL EY. W e wo rú cliscuss it at a ll! (Storming out.} I am twcn ty-o ne yea rs Wl: ST O N. Yea h, well, yo u ca n laugh, but I saw rh e damag e they do ne just
old ancl l. can clo what I wa nt ro do! last n igh t. When i t's wet li ke it's been he re, the-
WESTON. Am ] going ro hav e ti me to hclp with the ci nd ers? ¡O HN. Slu gs?
KEN. Sur e. W l:ST O N. - ch e slugs become chis major prob lem. Ancl see, we got to ger
JOHN. The wha t' it done befo re ton ight , see, because th ey come out as soo n as it gers clark.
WESTON. Ci n ders. T hey got a problem in their gar den. l'm gon na hel p T hey don't li ke rhe li ght, see.
them our.
)O 1 I N. Really.
J O H N. Yeah ? W ell, sorr y, Jed, th ere goes the neighborho od. With Wes lo ose
W F.ST O N.
ou t there, that ought tO do it.
Sure.
WESTON. [ help ed thern spray the- what was i t?
¡OI IN. Why don't you puta li ght in ch e ga rden ?
J ED. Phlox. ) 1-:l). T hen ch e eggplant wouldn't set flower. le requ i res a period of six hours
WESTON. T he phlo x for mo l cl
un brok e n dark ro set-
JED. Mild ew.
J O HN . Jed, yo u' re goi ng tO tell me abouc pho cosynches is.
)1-'.D. V horop eriod.
JOHN. I don'c want ro know abouc phoro synr hesis.
¡1 m . Photoperiod.
J LJ NE. Oh, God. .
.
)O H N. What?
J LJNE. I was jusc ima gi n i ng havi ng a vu l nerab le belly, crawl i ng over ci nd

ers. W l•:STO N. No, see, you can't chink li ke rh ar.

WESTON. - for mi lclew this morning. T hi s aft:e rnoon we got to get over to
che school where Ta l ley is goi ng to teach...
KEN. . . . is not goi ng to teach.
;w EN . Fuck ic, kili 'e m. They're ru i n i ng che garden.
Wl: STO N. Right, you gotea be like co lcl- bloodecl ancl ru thless. O cherw ise,
you wo n't have any- what is it?
:w EN, JUNE, ancl JO H N. Penstemon .
WSI T'O N. Ocherwise, you won't have any penscemon. They're really vora
cious. They eat six t i mes their weighr every nighc. I was read i ng one of
Jed's books.

WESTON. - yeah, ancl get a load of ci nd ers, and sp reacl chem around the- ' 1(1 •'. N. 1 wonder whac a sl ug we ighs.
what was i t? Wl ST O N. le did1ú say.
J ED . Pcnste mon. l< l ( N . Oh, well...
WESTO N. Go n na spread chem aro u nd che penstemon, so the- what was it? W ESTO N. We co ulcl c atc h one and weigh i c.
J ED. Sl ugs. l< l•: N. Ooes anyone have somerh i ng I could open a vein with?
WESTON. - so che slu gs ca n't gel at them. See, they got th ese soft: vulnera- W EST O N. You know whac they're tryi ng to make he re? Wh ac's che name of
ble bel li cs d1ac garden in England ? The one we did n'r see.
J O H N. T h e penste mon? )OI I N. We d idn't see a ny of them.
W EST O N. No , th c- W l•:ST O N. The one we could hav e seen, rho ugh .
J l D. ( JiJ \ ,\í'r'Jtrm.) Sl ugs. )O 1 IN . J clon'c rememb er.
WESTON. The sl ugs. T hey don't li ke to crawl over che ci nd ers. You spread th W EST O N. Well , th a r's the one rhey 're tr yi ng to make here.
e ci nd crs around the plant , i t keeps thcm off i t. S1 11 RLEY. (Who has been standing iu doorwa y.) Sissinghurst Casd e Ga rd ens.
J O H N . T h;n 's . . . i ngen ious. They're a prop ercy of rhe Nac ional Tru sc.

F I FT H OF J U 1.Y
60 LANFORD \X/ I L S O N
what ever happe ns to g row ali go wild.
WESTON. [sn't that far out ? JED. T hac would be one an swer. ( The phone rings inside.)
GWEN. You know what would be even better? Just lec it a li go wild. Lec G WE N. Oh, sh it. T hat's Schwartzko ff cal li ng back because f hung up
 on h im.
sa id I'd giv e them a bo nu s after cli c yea r of a li rh e profit. Bue rh eyh ad to
KEN. l t is n'r lon g-dist a nce. d i vid e ir evenly, fil e clerks gec as rnu c h as managers. T hey fli pped .
G WEN . Yes, it wi l l be. Jo hn , yo u tal k to him . H e just keeps saying rh e same
SA LLY. I'll ber.
thing to me.
K l:.N. Only whar?
KEN. [e isn't long-
:WE N . O nly Sc hwa rtzkoff, rhe basta re!, is r ry i ng to take che profir from
JO H N. H o ne y, you do n't han g up on someo ne who's call i ng from rhe
Helena Copper and pay for-
Coasc- ( H e goes into house to phone. )
10I I N . C apita l i rnp rovemenrs-
GWEN. (Yelling.) I don'c c are. H e was calli ng me cap ric io us. I felc lik e show i : WE N . C ap i tal i mprove menrs in rh e orher bran c hes and claim ch ere a ren'r
n g him whac c apric io us was. (To them.) I wiU never be able to und er sta
any profas chis year.
n cl why l can't do what I p l ease with my o wn cornpany.
1( l(N . Ancl char sur prises you?
JOI IN . K en, yo u o r Jun e, eicher o n e. J
I0 HN . A hair illega l, bur clo ne ali rh e ti me.
U N E. I'II get ir.
:wEN. Well, rhac really pisses me 'ca use chose pcople were grea t to us. They
G WE N. It's li ke zero perce nt of th e whole- con g lo merate. ga\lC us a picnic. We had pig s' fee r. Wasn'c ic pigs' feec, Jo hn ?
JOHN. We goi n g swim mi ng later?
j0 H N. lt cerrai n ly rasced l i ke pigs' fee r to me.
J UN E. I c an answer che pho ne ali by mysel f.
:WEN. Come 011! T hey were wo nder í-ul co us.
JO H N. We'vc bar dly had a ch an ce to ta lk t h is who le vi sit.
J UNE. (Entering.) Hold ir a second . G wen , exc use me. {Af armed but ve1y
J UN E. That rea lly rip s me up.
Jirm.) Aune Sally.
S H I RLEY. You own an enri re com pany by yo ur sel f?
SA LLY. He wenc away. J d id n'c know whe re he had gone. I go r ri recl of wa i t-
G\lvE N. Most of che li ke branches I own li ke nothing. Like six p erce nc or
ing for him.
fif teen p ercen t. But Hele na C o ppe r is one hundred percen t mi ne. Mom
jUNE..He was very up sec wh en l cold him you were here. He s:iid for yo u ro
lefr it to me, damn ir. 1 was up there. O h, G od, chey lo ved me. I made li e clown. H e'll ger here when he ca n.
a speech , th ey just wenr crazy. 1 tole! th em whac l w,u1ted to do, no shic, SAL LY. T here is no reason for hirn ro co me here. A nd I'rn fin e where 1 am .
they carried me aro un d che meetin g ha ll o ver cheir heads, li ke a fi.1c kin ' f U NE . (Pause. To them.) She passed ouc in ch ur ch. T hey cook her ro Dr.
ascronaut.
And erson's across che screec and she sneak ed our on h i rn.
KEN. Whar did yo u prom is e them?
SALLY. 1 die! nor. He always cries to rak e care of more chan he can; gi vi ng
G WE N. O h, well, see che co mpany makes ali chis mon ey, but Iike rhc eve ryo ne fiv e mi nut es. I waired as lo ng-
Su rroga te wo rú le c rne raise ch e- Uohn is ba ck, Listening in the doorway.) ) UNE. \Xlould you ple ase. H e doesn'r kn ow. He ha rdl y had ti me to exa
- sala ries beca use of ch e labo r si tuat io n in the stat e-
mi en her; she may have had a mild scro ke, ir mighr jusr be
JO H N. [n che i nd ustry.
C WEN . )une.
GWEN. Is i r rhe i nclu s try? An yway, l ike, you re mem ber when we read M arx?
SH I RLE Y. What?
What pissed Ma rx off was che ow n ers making money off che wo rk ers, SA LLY. le was no rh i ng oí- rhe kind! I merely black ed out. I d o it a li che ti me.
ju st beca use the own ers own che facrory. 1 UNE. When? W h en have you passed out befo re? Recenrly? SAL
KEN . Exp l oit:a tio n o í-, yes-
LY. W h en 1 was eleven.
G W EN . I may hav e fo i lecl econo mic ph ilo sop hy, bur I got rh at. Well, so I J UNE. You shou ld resr, i nsid e . You ca n't tell rh e damage, if i t was a scrok e

C W EN . ) un e.
1 U NE. Until she's been loo ked ar.

C WEN . Jun e.
S I II RLEY. {Overfapping.)Where's th e doc ro r? Why d icl n' r he come here?
j U N E. H e'II b e here as soo n as he's free.

FI FT H OF J U LY, e
62 LANFORD \XII L S O N
SHIR LEY. Free? wo u ld nevcr have recovcrccl.
GW EN. J un e, yo u do n' t tell someone rh ey have had a stro ke. You sayt hey JO H N. He clidri't
v'e had a slig ht cerebra l cli s rurb ance. recovcr. G W EN . Joh n!
SH lRL EY. T h at sound s becter) SALLY. lt was ver y si ll y, very c m barrassi ng. And when I woke up , I feltp e r-
GWE N. D ad cl y lappcd ic up. If rhcy'd role! him he had had a stroke, eh fectly fin e.
 KEN. Don't talk. lt 's coo ler o ut hcre. She's out of the sun.
JUN E. .1 don ' t lm ow if shc sho u ld be alo ne or li e clo wn or-
SALLY. - 1 was sin in g rhcre li s ten i ng to th ac scup id , vi nd ic ci ve Reveren d
Poo el, ancl l look ed over at rhat sm ug wi fe of h is, al ways look i gn
os
p le ased to have a n o ccasio n to show how easily she can cry. She was li ke
th at in sch oo l. You'd say, Fra nci nc, cry! And she'd burst into tears for
y ou. A nd I l oo ked ac her and th ere were two of her. Si tcin g s id e by side.
J ujs tc h o ught, O h, my Go d , no. If th e re's one chin g th at Lebano n d ose not
need i t' s ano th er f ra nc i ne Poole. And I was ru bb i ng m y eyes, tyr ni g
to m ak e one of her go away. Or boch of her if possi ble. And l not ice d ht at
chere were two Revcrend Pooles givi ng that vacuous eu lo gy, and two pul
pi t s and tw o ca skers and it was just ali coo - m uc h. And 1 got up to
gct th c- hell out of th ere before t here was two of me, and -
J UNE. She p asscd ouc in che aisle.
SALLY.E veryon e m use h ave cn joyed chat. I wok e up in Dr. Anclerson's office,
wich him cl uc king at me, and l felt vcr y rested. Bue the re was o one
nyl of hi m. Wo uld n't you know ?
J E D. To o bad. Town cou ld use ano thcr Dr. And erso
n. KEN. Where's D r. C rane ficlcl'
JE D. O n vacat io n. An clerso n's ove rloa dcd.
SALLY. Well, I wasn't going lo wair ali day for che man to tell me to go home.
l wamed a glass of water, I sti ll had one. (Shir!ey enters house
haveúr to
get a glassof water:)
GWEN.D oubl e visio n is o ne of the sym pto ms of a- slig ht ce rebral dist
ur ba nce.
S A LL Y. l realized th at wh i lc [ was wa l ki ng hom e. I had n urse's clu
trai n i gn in g t he war- r remember Mrs. f arrh i ng ?
J UN E. Wa lk e d ? You walk e d herc from town ?
S ALL Y.1 didn't get in che le ast ti red. No o ne has ever paid che slig ht est atte
ncion
64 LANFORD W LL S ON
J UN E. She could n'r possi bly sri ll be ali
ve.
SALLY. O,h yes. She lookcd at poor wa.xy Harley and said seh s upp ose d
to me, so picase don'c now. I don'r know how ro co pe wich i r. l'm si xcy o
ne years ole! and 1 have a perfect rig hr to have a st roke. T've su ffered a
rrauma.
J U N E. You rest afcer somerh i ng li ke rhac. Yo u clon'c go for a fiv e- m ile h i ke.
S/\ LLY. f carne ho me slo wly; Ju ne. lr's only a mile and a hal f. l d idn'r go jo ggin g.
J U N E. She's too m uch. I'm arguing with her. l'm kil li ng her. (Shirley brings
Sal/y fl g!ass of water: S fll ly takes a si p, a}I{{ puts th e jl.ower she carries in
the g!ass.)
KEN. You reall y are roo m uch.
SI\ LLY. Whar a sca nd al to have n.ri ned Ha rley's fu neral. 1 loo ked for wh ere
he ca rved his i n i rials 0 che pew, but I c o uld n' r fine! ic. C erta i n l y che
11
o nl y mark he ever made on anyrhi ng.
l( E N. Wo u ld you p ic a se nor talk. W hat do you do wir h her?
SAL LY. We were engaged wh en we were k ids, you kn ow. I was ce rta i n ly well
o u t of rhac.
JUNE. Sally-
SALLY. His fir sr wi fe and her kid s a ncl law yer were on one side of che a isle
and h is second wife and her lawyer were on th e o che r sid e, just glari n g
at each orher. And borh of them gla ri ng at rn e. (Laughs.) O h, [ sho u ldn'r
e njoy ic, bue i t's rh e fir sc ti me l' ve been i n rhar ch ur ch si nce I was fir ed
from reach i ng Sunda y schoo l rh irr y-six years ago. God knows what
everyon e was calli ng me. Jezebel, I'd think. Marr icd a Jew, rh rown our of
ro wn , co me bargi ng back lik e a brazen hu zzy.
l( EN . Nor Jezebel. Nao mi, may be.
J UNE. You were noc th rown out of wwn.
S/\ LLY. I was so! I was rhrown out of town. Yo u r focher said Man was a 110 -
good Jew ancl was o nly inr eresred in ch e bank . He never forgave Mate for
making more mo ney th an he dicl.
KEN. Aun r Sa lly, picase don'c ta lle
SALL Y. Well, dar li ng, wich you ali acti ng l i ke eve rychi ng l say mig ht be che
last word I ucter, 1 wanc to be sur e I ge r ir ali in.
JUNE. Sally, 1 a bsoluc ely forbid you to e njoy th is.
C WEN . W har's che poinc i f you don'c geL off on i r?
SALLY. Pino's made Harl ey loo k very waxy.
J U N E. Who did whac?
SAL LY. P i no's Fu neral H o me. T hey mad e 1-Ia rley look very wa:xy. You
J UN E. No.
KE N . Taught alg ebra.
FI FT H OF J U LY
1 mean, I don'r do i t, che company cloes i r, bue I shoulcl know what
you're soaki ng us fo r.
 deatb was somech i ng we nonc of us coul d avoid. But sbc looked il ek
s he rh ought she mighc have an an gle.
J UNE. How can you tell ? Fool chac l a m, l keep li sreni ng ro her to seei f s he
sound s norm al. She's n ever soun ded normal in her life.
SALLY. Well , don 'c l isten to me. Matt dicl n't beli cve in death ancl I don't
eith er...
KE N. l beg your pardon )
SALLY. There's no such th i ng. le goes on and then it stops. Youca n 't
worry
about ht e stopp i ng, you hav e to wo rry abouc the goi ng on. sI r ha t a
humm i ngbird? ls th at a bar?
J ED. Where?
SALLY. No. Ga ne.
J UNE. Dr. Anclerson saicl she lcft a candy box in his office.
KEN. Oh, God. You left U ncle Mart in ch e office?
SALLY. Wh at are you tal ki ng
abouc? J UNE . The cand y box.
S/\LLY.W ell , that 's as good a place far it as anywhere. Tell him to keep it.
J UN E. lf he brings it back, 1' 11 ki li him.
SALLY. T hat's ali taken care of.
KEN. 1-low is "that" ali taken care of?
SALLY. Thac is taken ca re oF pr i vate ly. (Pa use. Phone rings offitttge.)
KEN. That one is lon g-dista nce.
J O H N. l'll gec it.
GWEN. Oh, Jesus, rh at's goi ng to be Nashv i lle. I don't wanr to go to
Nashville at all, man . 1 get more tense every minute.
WESTON. That won'c happ en agai n.
G WEN. No joke. Feel my back.
KEN. T hat wo1ú ha ppen; you'll relax, yo u'II feel fine.
GWEN. 1 ju st feel th e tension creepi ng up my a rm s right to myjaw s.
My
h and s a re li kc ice. Kenn y, when coul cl you be ou t, you ki10w?
K[N. Wh a t:, lave?
GWE N. L ik e, i f I'm gon n a fi-eak out till I have my own st udi o. Like, we
ou l cl ca ncel ch is gig in Nashvi lle, go back to L.A., a ncl see what s ' ea
t in ' S ch wa n zkoff wh il e rhc y'rc fixi ng up a place for us here and
comebac k in August. Whac's ir gon n a cose me?
KEN. (Overlapping.) l've nevcr bu i l c a recorcli ng stud io, I really wou ldnt '
GWEN.N, o ma n, the place. Whac are yo u aski ng far i t? W hat's ci e
yourpr ?
66 LANFORD WJLSON
1 UNE. (Almost amused.) Whar on earth a re yo u tal ki ng abo ut ?
:WEN. (To Ken.) Only I want to tell you righr up fronc, I don't bargai n. So
you' II rip me off, but rhar 's nothin g new. ( Pause.) Speak, damn i r- we
gotea catch a plan e. What are you wairing for, some Arab to buy up che
whole scate? Coppe r money is as goocl as oil money. Dacldy used co say
cha t, only he was ral ki ng ab ou t. .. Rockefell er.
KEN. Maybe we shou lcl move chis i nsicl e.
( :WEN. I gorra fine! a place, Kenny ; [ can'r fan: a roun d.
S/\LLY·. w e know whar you're doi ng , you clon'c ha ve rn h ide.
J U NE. O h, my god; 1 have been blincl and deaf!
JOHN. (Entering.) H ey, bab y, you're goi ng to !u ve rn talk ro Ki ng, he won'c
tell me what 's up.
CWEN. That 's King? Ca ll i ng here? What do es he wan t? JQ[_:
¡N. Sorne deal, some record comp any; che man 's clel i rious.
CWEN. Whac record company -
1 O 1-I N. He worú rell me, he wa nrs to ca l k ro you. He's got someone li ned
up ro be ar che session. Talk!
C WEN. Did yo u call Schwarrzko ff?
JOHN. He was n't i n. Take th e ca ll; he's a busy man.
CWE N. O h, God, I'm going ro look peach y wi th so me record com pa n y in
ch e studio, my shr i nk cry i ng ro pry open my mou th wich h is fin gers.
J O H N. Would you cake che goddarnned call. Co me on, Wes, move your bmc.
S HIRL EY.l wanc ro hear your cape befa re you leave. App arencly l wo1ú be
affo rd ed che opporcunity to -
CWEN. Listen , sure, an ych i ng you want as long as I clon't have to hear ir.
Come on, l'm serious abo uc ch is house. You cal k ic over. And li ke
Aug usr, Sep cembe r.
JO HN . l know, we will. (Weston goes inside.)
CWEN. No sh ic, ic's what we been lookin g for. ( To john.) Ger a price. And
fincl ou t when rh ey ca n be our.
JOHN. l know, we will.
WESTO N. (On the phone.) Yeah, man , wha r's happ en i ng.
CWEN . I got ir. (Goes into house.)
J O HN. Uh . . .! been sec ti ng up rh is ch in g wich Jimmy Ki ng for tliree mo nchs;
suclcl enly he won'c calk...
KEN. Yeah ... frustra ti ng .
J ED. Abo u t your place. Gwen's really got a hai r up her butc.
F I FT H OP J U I.Y
 S H IRL EY. O h , d ear.
llJNE. You do n'c even li ke th e place- Gwen wam s co grow weeds­lO! 1 N. T la ve i r, I al ways have.
JO H N. You tell her what you want for i c? J
1 F. I ). Yeah, but what do you care whe re you are, as lo ng as there's a ce le pho ne.
U NE. No, we were just gett i ng to thac. 10 1 I N. As ic happens , Gwen wanrs ch is house. Wh a reve r she wancs is fin e by me·. w hacever makes me happy.
JO H N. So wha c's che bit e? ¡ F.1 ) . l ' m hip.
J U N E. In a wo rd, no way. 10 1 I N . Yeah, see, th at's none of yo ur busi ness.
1(1,'.N. Bue, Jesus, Joh n, th e mo ney yo u spend doing i t. Come on, we're no c bli nd . What are yo u buyin g, rhe who le record com p
JO H N. Whac's say?
)1 I N. Oh, fuck, Ta lley. Stop bei ng such a faggoc. Look a ro und you, wake
J UN E. l'm noc ta l ki ng to you. (Tó Ken.)You are u goip, ng
for to sell sake.
God's th e Tal
Youley.
ca place
n buy anyrhin g!
to Jo hn and Gwen Land is for a record i n g stS/\ ud1,ioL?Y. Not for a hund red anda quarter you can't.
KEN . Ic is not yo ur deci sio n, June. 10 1 I N. Okay, that was che wrong rh i ng to s;iy. Ar e yo u celli ng me yo u can't sell for thac pric e.
J U N E. Doy o u know why he's do i ng ch is? 1(1 :,N . l did n't say thac.
)0 1- I N . You ca n'c sell co me for chat price or you ca n't sell to anybody for t hac price? T'm no c cleaf co chese i nsin uat io ns and i nn uendo es t
JO H N . I don' t ch i nk you havc anych i ng to say about it , do you?
l( 1 '.N. ( Leve!.) l was very angry when you cook off fo r Eu ro pe wi tho ut rellin g
JU NE. Fo rgec ic. lt isn't go i n g to hap pen. No sa le
me,. No
buesale.
chac's lo ng past.
JO HN. Do che tw o of you own i t? 10 1 IN . Don't dump chat o n me.
J U N E. l e d oes n't ma tt e r who- K l N. The chr ee of us plan for si x mo nchs to go to Euro pe to beac che d ra ft, rh en Gwen drags yo u off a week ahead of sched ule a nd you do
J O H N. Isc h e pla ce you rs to sd l? You have the ti cle; there 're no leans on it ,
t:hcre' re no mo rcg agcs1 T h e place J oes belo ng to you?
KEN. Yes, of co u rse.
J UNE. 1'11 s it o n che roacl wic h a s h orgun and we' ll see how fast -
JO H N. l 'd ch i n k you wo u ld have lcarned by n ow chat chac never got anyo f
us an ych i ng we wan ted.
KEN.O k ay, okay, Jun e- fin c- sray o ut of ic; i t 's no busi ness of you rs.
JO HN. So what's che bit e?
KEN. 1'11 have to get a hund red seven cy- five for che place.
JO H N. Jcsus H . You do n'r want m uch. l tell yo u wha t. We' ll give you a
hun- d red anda qu arter. what che hell would you call i t?
SALLY. Fo r che Ta lle y place? You'rc jok i ng. ) O HN . No, I wo n't cake chat. Yo11 c an't lay your godd am ned feck lessness on
JO HN .F or what' s lefr of i i:. J r' II cake that m uch again to make i t l ivablc. KEN. me- I'm no t responsi ble for any ch i ng rhat happened to yo u i n-
Joh n, I don't own Hele na Copper. I have chis house; I want tog ura - . K l '.N. Okay, forget it. Everyone !oves you, everyo ne forgets every th i ng.
a nt ce a futu re for Jecl and mc- N o body's clwn pi ng anything on you.
JOH N. Listen, for all we carc you can li ve hcre. We wo uld n't be here mo re chan rh ) O H N. What rh e hell wo uld you call i c? No. 1 to lcl G wen yo u chan gecl yo u r
ree mo nt hs ayear. Jcd can bu i ld his go d damned E ng li shg ardne. mind. l wante d me and my wife om of che whole steamy sit uacio n with
JE D. No chank you. both of you.
KEN.No, co me o n. l' m go i n g ro scl l ch e p lace and never see it agai n.J K l'.N . (Shocked.) You role! her I chan ged my mi nd?
ecl?
) O H N . Yeah. And we had a good cry and lefc in rwo days and how lo ng did
Whac do we need ?
you stay in Oal<land befa re you actua ll y go t called up ? O ne mo nt h? Two
J ED . We'Jl calk lacee
monr hs?
JO H N . A hun d red and a q ua rt er, flat ouL W hac's che prob le m ?
1 UN E. Clo ser co ch ree.
KEN. You're rea ll y pu ttin g me on che spo t here. We have overa hund red lili se
J O H N . So clo n'c blam e me. I rhoughc yo u'd fag out. J rhoughc yo u'cl evade-
eJ d grcw from seecl two years ago; goin g to bloom chis August. Gwe n is
tal k i n g abo ut mov ing in tomorrow al most-

F I FT H. O F J U L.Y
68 LANFORD WI LSON
 g o to Cana da. f cli d n' t rhi n k you'cl jo i n rh c clamn Army. Why did you ) U N E. H ere I am.
g o, a n ay? Did ir havc so rnerhin g ro do wi rh G wena n d m J O H N . T hen could Shi rley go i ns ide for a wh il e?
wy K EN . e? S 1 11 RL EY. C erta i nl y no t.
No.
JO H N . Now I ho pe evcryo ne hcard that. J U N E. l do n't thinkyou want to go inro that rig h t no w.
JED. T hat's enough. JO HN. I do n't have ro enum erare the advanrages for che kid.
JUNE . lt was jus t easier to let thcrn take yo u. ) UN E. Adva nt ages? What the fuc k are-
KEN. I have n ev crl rnow n why I wenc, and the q uescio n hasc rsose d m )O H N . G wen and I bo rh lov e her. 1 d o n't wa n t to seem cav::i li
y er K EN. O f course noc.
J UNE.You sato n you r butt and let them take yo u beca use ir wsa eas ei r J O HN . Jusc look ar r.he si cuat io n. W hat she is and whar we cou ld o ffer her.
than ma k in g a co m m it rn cn t; yo u let them ma ke yo ur co m mit me nt
fory ou.
J O H N. Hey, ba b, y I' ll tell you somethin g. T he fr rst th i ng you lae rn in busi No i: perman end y, ju st half rhe year. Just a few months a yea r-
nes s is to raJka b o ut one dea l ar a rim e. Kenn eth says he wants tose ll ) U N E. You're out of your mind. You have che ball s. You have che ball s
the
p lace. No ,w 1'11 give yo u a h u nd red ch i rry, chac's as has I g JO H N . C o me on, I do n'c rhink you wan t Sh i rley to -
hgi o.
S ALLY. A hun d red th irt y-fr vc. , S/\ LbY. I kn ew godcb mnecl well he (Ld n't wa m 1he house. No, youn g man.
J O H N. Yo u b i cld i ng aga i nst me or are you tr yi ng to up t ) UNE. (Overlapping.) 1 don'c g i ve a shi t who hears i t. O ut. Yo u bert er le a ve
eh p r
S A LLY. l'm bid d i n g aga i nst yo u. ice. now , and you bett er never- never mentio n Shi rley aga i n.
JO HN. A h un cl red for ry.
KEN. (Standing.) You better watch w hat yo u say, budd y; you' re leavi ng your -
SALLY. A hu nd red forty - fi ve.
sel f open for one hell of a no n-s up po rt sui r
JO H N. A h un cl red ftf ty.
J O H N. 1 h ave said no rh i ng. 1 clai m no respo nsi bil i ry.
SALLY. A hund recl fi fry-ft ve.
J U NE. So rne th i ngs yo u ca nn o t buy, bab y! Now le ave.
KE N . Aune Sall y, wh a t the hcll are you clo i ng ?
J O H N . But if I wanr ed to cake ic ro cour t, l co uld ger her- D on't th i n k l
S AL L Y.Je d a n d J scattered M a tt a li o ver t he rose gard en earyl t hsi m o coulcl n't.
rnin g. lt d i dr ú ta kc ten mi n m es. You ca n sell th e plac e to m. e, Kenny, 1 UN E. You rry ir!

ify ou v'e go t to s e ll i ; t a ncl 1'11 g ive i r to Jed. Jf yo u can't stay he re,J
e cl can. And yo u r' c no ts e lli ng thc Talley place for a h undr ecl fifry
tho uasnc l. I'mpr e
p a r e d to go to twoh un d red twcn ry-six thou sa ncl. You're a rich ma n, Ke
nny.
K EN . Jed.
J O H N. Ali rig ht , forget i r; can ir. Yo u ju s t by Go d remember you had th e
chance .
SI IIRLEY. I will live in St. Lo u is wirh my mo t he r.
J O H N . Fi ne, baby, i t serves yo u rig h r.
K EN . You' re leaving now -

J E D. You go on to Greece; l've got wo rk to do here.

KEN. Wc , lI y ou 'r e welcome to ir. A hun clred seve nty -ftvc, eh pr J O H N . Yo u clamn rig ht we are.
that s ' t Jo hn ? ice, C W EN. (Burstin g int o the porch, with W'est on.) H o ly sh i t, r hey wa nt me! T
JO H N. Lcave me out o f th is.
hey want me! We're in! O h, sweer J esus! Col um bia boughr o ur ta pe! T hey'
KE N. Sa lly? Tak e i r o r leave i r.
re releasin g ch e fucker in rwo weeks! Holy sh i r, they Ai pped out! T he
SA LLY. I'II ta ke i t.
man is ra l king l i ke reta i ners of fr ve rho usand a mo nt h for rhe ftrst si x
K E N. Y o u' ve got ir. Jo hn . I' m sorry yo u've been o ut b.icl mo nt hs, rh e n re nego riace. T he man is tal ki ng li ke we're fucki n' srars.
J O H N. 1 do n ' t need t hi s lrnssle. 1 came here to see J un e. I clicln't come J O H N. W ha t ? O h, Jesus. Cou ld we wal k down away from hree a
clown hc r e loo k i ng to buy th c Tall ey pla ce. T ha t was yo ur idea. m inu te ? J UN E. l don't th i nk so.
] U NE. W hy? Se e me why? JO HN. l ju st wanr to ta l k.
 WEST O N. (Overlappin g.) No sh ic , he's li ke selli n' it ro us. We d id n't have ro
70 LAN FORD W I LS O N
say shit.
C W E N . Two weeks!Two wee ks! H e's goi ng ro have the fucki n g reco rd on rh e
air. On th e morh erfu ckin ' ai r waves.
WEST O N. He wants ir orc hesrratecl, chough, he wa ms srrin gs. Whoever
heard of st ring s in a-

F I FT H o r J U LY
 set up forus. Co lu m b ia o urbid rh e o ut fü J o h n boughc.Sh e 's r e a l y g oo ,d
GWEN. Dam n st raig ht. V io lin s, fu cki n' cellos , che work s. Lay i t o n me. o nly Joh n don'c know yec.
Voi ce of pai n! Shit fir e. ! O HN . (O jfstage.) W es, move yo ur cai l.
KEN. (Overlapping .) G we n, no, no , G wen, yo u can't do ir. We can't let John W E S T O N. I got ro gop ack. (Rum to the doo1: Stops.P oli te l,y.) Ic was veryn ice
do this ro you. m ee t i ng yo u. (Exits into hou se, upst11isr .)
GW EN . H o ney, thi s is a piece of cake, and me and Wes are hun gry. l ( F N. (As j e d starts to pick him up.) Hold ir a second. ( K en p u sllje d colw n to
WESTON. She's good.
' h i .rn A ve1y long p au se; Ken is n early crying . Jed sitsbes i de holding
h ir , 11
KEN. 1t do esn't matt er if she's any good. It's al i a sham. l t's ju st someth i ng hirn.)Jes us. That scares me. (Fighti ng tecm.) Fallin gba c kw a r ds is r he one
John has cooked up to kee p you away from your busi ness so he ca n c h in g ch e guya ya s- (Ti ying to joke.) Jesus. 1m ay neve r dan ce Swrm
wl
JO H N. 1-Iold it, no w; eno ugh. T ha c's no t t rue. Lakeaga ni . (A pause. jed rises and heLps Km tos ta n d .)
KEN. 1 wou ld n'r be a friend to yo u if [ didn'c tell you- ic's a dream . lt 's not real. ! UN E. (To jed.) You' re q uic ker chan you loo k.
J O H N. Shu c up righr now .. . Baby, rhac 's wo nderfu l. S /\LL Y. I've neve r bee n so scared in my life. And [ ' 111s xi ry- fou r y ea r s o l d.
KE N. G wen h as a responsi bili ry to somechin g mor e i mport ant- 1 U NE. 1 d10t1 g ht you were sixry-one.
JOHN. That's i t. C o me on, we're getrin g out of here - mo ve ic- (Pusheshim S /\1.LY. l've lie d abouc that si nce [ wasrw e n .ty
aside. Ken goes down flat on his bac!?.) Oh, Jesus God, 1 forgot. l'm sorr y, K l :N.. l t's im p os s i b le. l haven't look ed at m y no tes; I don 'teven know what
baby, l'm sorry. I forgot com pl etely. rex rbook s are availab le anymor e.
JE D. (Goes to Ken.) Go on. Don't touch h i m. Leave. Move. (He gmbs the ga r- 1 ·l J ). (Cetstap e dec k; gives it to Ken.) Yeah , Gwe ns a i d y ou g or a lo t o f w o r k
den sh erm , threatening.)
to do.
KEN. I'm not h ur t! I'm nor h ur t! l r's okay, l f .N. You k.nowy ou r e' a l! goi ng to pay for chis . (To Sal /y.) Howar e y ou fee li ng ?
Jed. J O 1-IN . I swear to Gocl, 1 barely touc hed
S/\ LLY. Much be tter.
yo u! J ED. You cake care ofGwen, I'II gec him 1UN E. Oh, sure. Where's rhat dam ned doc tor ?
up!
KEN. l'm ok ay. Stop. (A p11use.) K :l N. S ho uld we d riv e her ba ck clown toc he office?
JOHN. Listen. I'm your friencl. l f yo u kno w ir or not . . . (E'Cit s into house S i\LL Y.N o, no. And you don'c ha ve ri me. You have to cal k to c he Young k i d.
upstairs.) I< E N. Oh, God, 1'11 have to cal! rh e Youn gs and tell cheml ca n 't seeJo hn ny
G W EN. (To Ken.) Bo y, ba by; wi th friends l i kc you, huh ? chis afte rnoo n.
KEN . Gwen, forgive me. l t's no ne of our... l UNE. N o, you go on ... 1'11 cake ca re ofSa yl.l
GWEN. Joh n's doi n g not h i ng l don 't know about. You think 1'111 blincl? I ' S i\LL Y.Co u ld you und ersca 1 d whar th e boy wasr a l k in g a bour ?
gotea have John. Ancl if h e needs to whccl ancl cleal behind my back, KEN. O h, s u r e. 1rju s r rak es lisrening to a coup le ti me s. You won'c li ke ir ar
the n he's welco me to i r. W i t h yo u flat on yo ur bac k li ke a fucki n' turtle
a .l! He's into scie nce and chef utur e.
maybe you' ll liste n. You th i n k yo u d o n'r need Jed, yo u do n't n eecl to b e
J UN E. Well, why no t.
useful- you'll sel l che dam n roo f ove r yo ur head to get out of faci ng l<EN. Buehe does n r ' hav e m uc h fair h in Sally's space me n. He 's ve r y p os ic ive
yo ur sclf. You' re on che edgc of now he re, baby, and you li sten to and neg a r vi e a n d dec idedly eccen cric . . . rclepo rcacio, ns p ace rravel, (foms
me 'cause ] been nowherc. Now are you go nna get to work or are you on cassettep l y-e1e 1 ) a nd chi s is rhe way i c ends- ( H e rea ds ji-om h is ye olfw
go nn a lose it all ? T--l uh ? pad at the same time . ) "Afcer chey had ex plo red ali che suns inc he u
KEN. 1 haven'c wo rked out a syll abus, [ haven't- n i ve r s e, a n d a lich e p lane es of ali che sun s, rhey reali ze d rhatc he r e
GWEN. You d,un n stra ig h t, we're al l go nn a have a busy sum me r. Fu cki n' wasno orherli fe inc he un iverse, and rh ar rh ey w ere al o en. A.ne\r
hey wer e ve ry
C o l um bia reco rd s. Come on , W es, we gorra pack. Move your ass. happy , bec aus e chen rh ey kn ew i t was up to ht e m ro beco m e a lir he
Sh i rle y, we're go n na l iste n to my rape. (Exit, into house, upstairs.) r h in gs d 1ey hadim a g i necl rhey wou lcl fin d ".
(Tum s ojf theca ssetet p al y .er
WESTON. Joh n's gonna freak . T h is cat is a d i fferent cat from the one John Wes ton com e s to the stairs, sits dow11, t uning his guitar.)

F l FT H O F J U I.Y
72 LA N FO RD W I LSO N
W ESTO N. Gwen? You're goi ng ro play our tape?
SALLY. You know, i fT sold chac mausoleu m in Cali forn ia, I cou ld 7 4 1.AN FO RD W I L SO N
clum p an aw ful loe of money i nto th is place. 1 was ju st think i ng
out loud .
KEN . 1 franld y clon't thi n k you should be moved fro m here.
SALLY. I' m much too i ll to travel. . .
J ED. O h, th at's out of che quesLion.
WESTO N. ( Throu gh window .) !-ley,Sall y, I want you to hear this. Shirlcy!
SAL LY. l' m com i ng!
G WEN. Jun e!
J U N E. God !ove her. (Yelli ng.) Com i
ng. WESTO N. Kenn y!
KE N. We hear you. U une goes in. Gwen joins Weston ; he pfays the introdu ction
to his song. S al{y gets 11p.) Are you okay?
SALLY. Well, I can wal k.
KEN. Yo u're beat:i n' me. (Saliy goes i n to listen to them. Shi rf ey and jed and Ken
sit on th e porch. Shhl ey is cryi11g quiet61.) What 's wrong, doll?
SH!RLEY. 1 don 't care. T he i mp ortam th i ng is to find your vocation a nd
work l i ke hcll at i i:. 1 don'r think heredi ty has anyt hi ng to do wi th a
nythin g.
K EN. Cc rcai nl y not.
SH J RLEY. You do realize, though, che terri ble bur den.
KEN. How's that?
SHLRLEY. 1 a.111 che last of che Talleys. And che whole fam il y has ju st
come to nothi ng at ali so far. Fortunately , i t's on my shoulders. (She
getJ u p with the weight of the burda1 on her shoulders. Gwen and "\.\íéston
begin to sing.) I wo n't faiI us. (.5he goes into the house. Ken and }ed listen a
moment.)
KEN. We had to put in ali those damn lili es. JJ rhey don't bloom, i t's your
ass. And you a.11d Weston havc got to get ci nclers th is af ternoon for rhe
pcnstemon .
J ED. Oh, God.
KE N. Well, maybe he'll wri tc us a song. ( He gets u p. Sighs. Picks up the
portable recorda ) I've got to tal k to Johnn y Youn g a bout che futu re. (
Thq look at each oth er a mom ent. T he singers conti nue . jed looks out
over th e gmden, sti ll seated. Ken begins to work his way towa rd the door. The
music conti1m es m the light fodes.)

FN lJ O F r L A Y
TALLEY'S FOLLY

For l-Jarold Clu r m a n