THE ART OF LISTENING

Introduction

One of the five basic human senses is hearing. It is the ability to hear, take in soundwaves, an
auditory perception, the power of receiving sounds that is available in majority of the living
things on Earth. It is an ability we use every day, even when we sleep. Hearing is however
not the same as listening. Listening is the ability to give one’s attention towards a sound, take
notice on an act on what someone says or respond to advise or request. It is something that
you can decide to conduct or not. Hearing itself is a part of listening. The subsequent
differences between the both would be when we listen, as we receive the sound waves from
the speaker and understand it by paying attention to the words and sentences of the speaker. It
is an ability to correctly obtain and also analyse or interpret the messages transferred by the
other person in the process of communication. In this modern world, we often hear the words
“we listen to reply, rather to understand”. It implies that people are keen into worrying or
caring what they should reply to the speaker while listening to them. So worried about being
judged by society based on our response we had already forgotten the purpose of listening
itself. To understand what that person wants to convey. Hearing is through ears, but listening
is through the mind. Listening is a skill itself. It takes patience, practice and experience to
become a good listener. There are in general two types of listening, which are active listening
and passive listening. Active listening is the act of listening where one reacts towards the
sound produced by the speaker while passive listening is the act of listening without reacting.
Active listening shows higher connectivity level, self-responsibility, better mental approach,
stronger motivation and will power towards what is being received through the ears
compared to passive listening. The two types of listening are used in different cases, which
also in the end effects the processing and conclusion of analysing the sounds received
[ CITATION Dif18 \l 17417 ].

Benefits of Listening/Why do we Listen?

Why do we need to listen? The main purpose is to understand. When we are able to analyse
the words from the soundwaves of the speaker and connect those sounds into a perfect piece
of puzzle, we will understand completely what the person wants to say, explain or teach.
Many may not realise that there are benefits of listening. Though our ears can’t really be shut
off from listening all the time, our sense of hearing are positively helping us. When we listen
to others, generally we will be more appreciated by the people whom you listen to. Lending
an ear to other people’s thoughts and ideas gives them a sense of relieve and at the same time
gratitude for what you have done. Besides that, when you listen to others, you will get other
people’s point of view, perspective and insights on a certain topic. Exploring thoughts that
never crossed your mind. You may also gain a new knowledge through the voice of others.

In terms of relationship, being a good listener makes you feel respected by your partner and
your partner would also open up his or her thoughts and ideas to you more often, making the
relationship more harmonious. Aside from that, while listening to others our patience and
tolerance is trained. Consistently listening well while holding on from responding quickly to
fully let your speaker propose what they want to say tests your patience not only to be a good
listener, but also builds the ability to know the whole story before making any comments.
Last but not least, listening well to people will help you understand others and their needs.
Hence, this would let you know where you may help them, or just make yourself the popular
one who everyone around would like to talk to [ CITATION Rem19 \l 17417 ].

The Stages of Listening

Moving on to the background works of being a good listener, there are levels or stages of the
listening ability itself. To be a good listener, one must practice how to score all these 5 stages
of listening which is receiving, understanding, remembering, evaluating and giving feedback.
The first stage is to receive the sounds presented by the speaker. It is an intentional focus on
hearing a speaker’s message, which occurs when other sources of sound are filtered away to
avoid and remove confusion and distraction from other incoming sounds. With noise
surrounding what you want to listen, it may disrupt the consistent flow of information into the
ears, causing unwanted misunderstanding. The second stage towards effective listening is the
ability to understand the sounds. Attempt to learn the meaning of the message, the core idea
that is being said out. In this stage, one’s knowledge and experience is important as different
people analyse words being said differently. For example, a class teacher may instruct her
students to write a trip report on the field trip attended last weekend. Some students may
think this report is to be written about the fascinating things on the field trip itself, while
some may think they are required to report the field trip to their school’s administration.
These varies so much in different individuals as the way we understand others are affected by
our very own judgement, perception and experience.

The next stage in listening is remembering. It you cannot remember something someone said,
then you weren’t listening properly. It is important to be able to recall your memory on what
other people may have spoken to you. Commonly the memories are stored based on certain
scenarios and conditions which are stuck to the memory itself. For example, “Seeing rotten
cheese in the fridge reminds me of the time Emily forgot to store her aged cheese and thus it
became bad”. Being able to attach something someone said into your daily experience
displays the importance of remembering as a part of listening. The following step is
evaluating. Commonly, when we hear something from someone our minds will start
processing certain thoughts and responses inside such as “she’s right”, “why didn’t I think of
that?”, “but why?”, “who did it?”, “this makes sense” an many more. It also comes to the
method or just how the speaker conveys his or her message. People are more likely to
evaluate a message positively if the speaker speaks clearly, presents ideas logically, and gives
reasons to support the points made. The last stage of being an effective listener is to provide
feedback. Appropriate and suitable ones with the topic indicates your involvement into the
topic. These feedbacks can also take in many forms such as saying verbally, showing
physical gestures or even facial expressions [ CITATION Say19 \l 17417 ] . The five stages of
listening described how we should always practice listening, first by receiving, then
understanding the message to remembering it, evaluate the information and lastly provide
good and suitable feedbacks.

Obstacles in listening

Listening may seem like an easy task since every normal human in this world registers sound
or noise into our ears 24 hours a day. However, there are certain obstacles to face while
listening. These challenges arise from many different sources such as listening to an
uninteresting or a boring topic brought up by a fellow speaker. When people show no interest
towards something being said, the brain will automatically try to filter out what is being
received by the ears. The sincerity to listen fades away as we have no passion towards the
topic or knowledge, thus we no longer focus on listening. Another thing we tend to do while
listening is to criticize the person’s delivery of sound. These includes the use of inappropriate
grammar, wrong chronology or timeline of story, mixed use of different language and terms
or the wrong tone. These wrong arrangement of words and phrases causes confusion which
turns off a listener from continuing to listen.

To add on, we have never received formal training in listening. Indeed, we all have been
listening for our whole lifetime, yet we were never taught on the gist and core of listening. In
writing there are many stages whereby we first learn the words and spelling, learn some
grammar, then we make sentences out of it, forming a paragraph and then an essay. There are
no such lessons in listening thus no one ever has the base set up correctly in the skills of
listening. Even in school writing and speaking is portrayed as more important than listening.
We have show and tell, debate, speaking corners, essay competitions, story plot competitions
held all over institutions, but never one that truly tests the ability to listen [ CITATION Fra17 \l
17417 ].

Disagreeing with the speaker’s message while listening is also an obstacle as we tend to try to
prove our disagreement but have to wait till the speaker is done talking. Aside from that,
being selective or biased in listening also poses a challenge as people are only keen to know
important parts of the speech where they might be related to and ignore the rest of the story.
Allowing distractions to come forward while listening are also one common challenge in
listening. The inability to control and focus on the speaker allows distractions to come in
between you and the speaker, causing the act of listening to become harder [ CITATION
Mar14 \l 17417 ].

Ways to Deal with Obstacles in Listening and Improve Listening Skills

There are many proven efficient ways to help improve and strengthen listening skills. One
very common method everyone practices without realising is through listening to music
[ CITATION GAr \l 17417 ] . Everyday, we listen to music be it on the radio, at the restaurant, the
gym, at the subway or even through the mp3 player. Trying to understand the lyrics sung by
the musician in that song helps us focus on hearing and analysing the content itself. Not only
that, listening to new music and translating new lyrics helps improves one’s vocabulary
[ CITATION ECE16 \l 17417 ].
Watching films and also listening to audiobooks can also test your ability to listen. In films,
we often see how actors portray what they want to say along with actions and gestures of
their physical body. Being able to analyse the actor’s speech and acts enables effective
listening thus the possibility of understanding the plot of the movie. Audiobooks on the other
hand tests more on your concentration while listening as the sense of hearing is the only sense
used here rather than the sense of sight and hear when watching a movie. Though audiobooks
were created for people to learn conveniently, it certainly helps teach critical listening
through various comprehension and presentation styles, and at the same time also improves
knowledge and vocabulary [ CITATION CAR13 \l 17417 ].

In addition, communicating with other people can also amplify the ability to listen well.
Active listening is a part of effective communication. To be able to communicate with others,
one must be able to listen properly in order to provide the most appropriate feedback or
reaction. Communicating with others regarding a certain topic while gaining feedback tests
our ability of listen and understand the person’s views regarding your statement. It is the act
of consistently listening and providing feedback to ensure effective communication is
achieved and the target of the discussion is achieved successfully with the voices and sounds
of the people involved expressed. Thus, being active in conversation with others while
sharing thoughts indirectly helps aid in improving one’s listening skills [ CITATION Min19 \l
17417 ].

In the midst of listening to others, these actions can also be taken to ensure effective
reception and analysis of information. First of all, one must maintain eye contact with the
person they are listening to. Keeping things in your level of sight shows you’re being
attentive to what the speaker says, ensuring continuous session of speech. Next, one should
always be attentive towards the speaker but in a relaxed way. Be present by giving eye
contact, looking away for a short while and then reset your sight towards the speaker.
Consistently be ready to serve and analyse what’s coming up next from the vocal chords of
the speaker. Use the ability to think and predict the future ideas that are coming out.
However, one must also keep an open mind in spite of being able to predict what he or she is
about to receive through their ears. Don’t jump into conclusions too early and express shock
when things turn out the other way around. Always be ready to accept and listen to new
information that you might never come across before. Being able to picture what the speaker
is saying is also a great empowerment of the listening ability. It shows understanding and you
are able to model out the scenarios, processes, experiences and also the emotions of what was
exposed to you. Most importantly, never interrupt the process by imposing your views or
wanting to solve an inquiry. Just like listening, it takes skills to speak too. The flare and
momentum of the speaker should never be interrupted so that they can share exactly and
properly what they want. Try to keep the questions at the very end of the session. Ask what
you need to regain understanding on what you may have missed. Use your listening ability to
reassure the details you missed through questioning. Once the session is done, reflect on it
based on what knowledge was gained while remembering the tones of speech that the speaker
used to enhance memory on certain parts of their message [ CITATION Dia12 \l 17417 ].

Conclusion

The art of listening is something that needs to be mastered by everyone who has the abilities
to hear. Not only it brings benefits of being one that people will seek for when they need
someone to listen, it also helps gain new knowledge and widen life experience through the
voice of others. Being able to receive the sounds, understand the message given, remember
the details through the conveyed message, interpret and analyse the material and providing
feedbacks are the core in the skills of listening. However, our inability to understand, lack of
knowledge, sense of pride and dignity, possess proper communication skills and not knowing
the actual process in listening may be an obstacle that would be faced to become a proper
listener. These obstacles can be tackled and avoided with listening to different life
experiences and also attempting various methods which are specifically aimed to improve
listening skills. Such ways include listening to music, those songs with lyrics so good that
you never know such vocabulary exists. Aside from that, other easy methods can also aid
listening such as watching movies or even subscribing to audiobooks. Test your listening
skills by communicating more with the people around you and share your thoughts
responsibly, to ensure an effective communication where both listening and speaking skills
are trained. Express your views and feedback after completely analysing and listening to what
other people has said. Embrace the knowledge given and remember it for future’s sake. As
there is a quote by Jeanette Winterson that says, “Everything in writing begins with language.
Language begins with listening.”. [ CITATION Dav18 \l 17417 ]

(2533 Words)
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