104 Everyman Thereto help the Trinity! Amen, say ye, for saint chaity. ‘ruus ENDETH THUS MORAL PLAY oF EVERYMAN. Trecaltad 22 Hameidaden x0 ay 2% NG A RIGHT PITHY, PLEASANT, AND MERRY COMEDY ENTITLED GAMMER GURTON’S NEEDLE PLAYED ON STAGE NOT LONG AGO IN CHRIST'S COLLEGE IN CAMBRIDGE. MADE BY MR.S.* M. A. ‘THE NAMES OF THE SPEAKERS IN THIS COMEDY: piccom, the Bedlam ones, Gemmer Gurton's Servant 8, Ganmer Gurton's Maid cane currow cocx, Ganmer Guron's Boy DAME CHAT ocror mar, the Curate MASTER BAILY out, Dame Chat’s Maid scarerunurr, Master Baily's Servant GoD SAVE THE QUEEN THE PROLOGUE ‘As Gammer Gurton with many 2 wide stitch Sat piecing and patching of Hodge her man's breech, By chance or misfortune, as she her gear tos'd, In Hodge's leather breeches her needle she lost. ‘When Diccon the Bedlam' had heard by report + Pesumay Witiam Sterenon, The play wis probly Set rowed to 53550 * Beep. a106 Ganmer Gurton's Needle Lect ‘That good Gammer spec a she om sort, Dace ches eset pay Ms koi ha Hey ay beleel lramogrry ae ea aoe ieee acre ceeeien sete a a | | a caine Les Gomer Gurton's Needle 107 Sighing and sobbing, they weep and they wails marvel im ty mind what the devil they ail ‘The old trot sits groaning, with alas and ale! 5 ‘And Tib wrings her hands, and takes on in worse cate. With poor Cock ther boy, they be driven in sch fs, fear me the folks be not well in their wits Ask them what they ail See et i Se ee Te Shah eal cen a ‘And drew it out of his buttock, where he felt ‘Thee heats then at test with perfect security, 1 pot of good ale they struck up their plaudite, 20 "THE FIRST ACT. THE FIRST SCENE. [New casas cunron’s house] prccon. Many a mile have I walked, divers and sundry ways ‘And many » good man’s hoose have 1 been atin my days: ‘Many a gosips cup in my time have T tasted, ‘And many a broach and spit have I both tured and based, Many a piece of bacon have I had out of their bals!, Im running over the county, with long and weary walks; “Yet came my foot never within those door checks, ‘To sec fle or fh, galick, onions, or leeks, ‘That ever I saw a sort in such a plight [As here within this house appeateth to my sight » ‘There & howling and scowling, all cast in a dump, With whewling and poling, as though thy had lost a trump, {ine 1) Noment * Good friend Tine 9) Rater, * Company: They answer nota all, buy “alackt” and “wellaway!” so ‘When I seit booted not, out at doors I hied me And caught a slip of bacon, when [saw none spi Which 1 inend not far hence, unkss my purpose fi Shull serve me fora shocing hora to draw on two pot of ale ‘THE HIRST ACT, THE SECOND SCENE, HODGE, Diccon, ‘nonce. See! So cham! arrayed with dabbling in the di She that set me to ditching, ich would she had the sqiet! ‘Was never poor soul that such a life had, Gog’s bones! This vilthy glay* has dres’d me too bad! Gog's soul! See how this staf tears! 5 Tech wete better to be a bearward, and set to keep hears! By the mass, here is 2 gash, a shameful hole indec And one stitch tear firther, 2 man may thrust in his head, ‘iccow. By my father’s soul, Hodge, if I should now be 1 cannot choose but say thy breech is foul betorn, 10 But the next remedy in such a case and hap 1s to plancht on a piece 28 broad as thy cap. 1ovce. Gog's soul, man, ‘tis not yet two days flly ended, “ae. Not oI fof Coal for I wel te. These extern ie est forme were regs wed for ae pecs Cet Si Pl, "Fly cay (bo dnc form. Henk,108 Ganmer Gurten’s Needle daca Since my dame Gurton, cham sure, these breeches amended Bue cham made such a drudge to trudge at every needy 15 ‘Chwould rend i though it were stitched with sturdy packthread. riccon. Hodge, let thy breeches go, and speak and tell me ‘What devil sleth Gammer Garton and Tib her maid to frown. ‘wovcs. Tush, man, th’art deeiveds ‘tis their daily look. 19 “They cow's so over the coals, ches eyes be Beard with smoke, ‘iccow. Nay, by the mass, I perfectly perceived, as I came hither, “That ether Tib and her dame hath been by the ears together, (Or cle at great a matter, a5 thou shalt shortly see ropes. Now. ich beseech our Lord they never better agree! icon. By Gog's soul, there they st as still as stones in the street, 35 {As though they had been taken with fires, or ee with some ill spright. ones. Gog's heart! I durst have aid my cap toa crown CCivould learn of some prancome! as 00m ach eame to town. ‘iccos. Why, Hodge, at thou inspired Or dist thou thereof heart ‘mopcr. Nay, but ich saw such a wonder as ich saw nat this seven yeat. 30 ‘Tom ‘Tankard’s cow, by Gog’s bones! she set me up her sail, ‘And flinging about his half ate, fsking with hee tail, ‘As though there had been in her arse a swarm of bees, ‘And chad not cried “tphrowh, whore.” she'd leapt out of his Teas ‘iccon. Why, Hodge lcs the cunning in Tom Tankard’s cow's tilt once. Well, fail Senge event. Fishing 8 fa chave heard some say such tokens do not Lee Gammer Gurton's Nile 109 ‘Bue canst thon not tll, in faith, Diccon, why she frowns, oF whereat® ‘Hath no man stolen her ducks or hens, or gelded Gib, her cate, piccox. What devil can I tell, mant I could not have one word! ‘They gave no more iced to my talk than thou wouldst to a Toa. « Chillin and know myself what matters are amis. ‘iccow. Then farewell, Hodge, a while, since thou dost in- ward haste For [will into the good wife Chats to feel how the ale doth tase. ching ‘THE FIRST ACT, THE THIRD SCENE. woven. nun [ewer ones. Cham aghast! By the mas, ich wot not what to do. ‘Chad nced bless me well before ich go them to. Perchance some felon sprite zmay haunt our howse indeed ‘And then chwere but a noddy to venture where cha’ no need “ran, Cham worse than mad, bythe mas, to be atthisstay! § ‘Cham chid, cham blam‘ and beaten all th’hours onthe day; Lamed and unger-starved,pricked up all in jogs, “ving no patch to hide my back, save a few rotten rags! opce, I say, Tib, if thou be Tib, a I row sure thow be, ‘What devil make-a-do is thi, between out dame and thee! 10 1. Gog’ frend Hodge, thou had good tun thou wert not here this while? Ie had been beter for some of ws to have been hence a mile; My gammer isso out of course and frantic all at once, ‘That Cock, oo oy, and poor wench, ave Fl on oeno Gammer Gurton's Needle Lec nonce, What isthe matter—sy on, Tib—whereat she taketh 0 on? 15 run, She is undone, she sid Ala, her joy and life If she hear nt of some comfort, shes, th! but dead Shall never come within her lips one inch of meat nor bread. nove. By’ lady, charm ot very glad to see her inthis dump. CChold a noble! her stool hath fllen, and she hath broke her gone! ee ksca Ganmer Gurtos Needle nx ‘And since that time was never wight could set thee eyes upon i. See's mano cave Cock and I bid wenty ime light once. And is not then my breeches sewed up, to-morrow that Tahould Weare a 718 No, in fith, Hodge, thy breeches lie forall this never a ‘nu, Nay, and that were the worst, we would not greatly For bursting of her huckle-bone, or breaking of her chairs ut greater, greater, is her grief as, Hodge, we shal all fee once. Gog's wounds, Tib, my gammer has never lost her nneeler vn. Her nec‘le! snopar. Her neler ‘mn, Her necle! 35 By him that made me, iti tue, Hodge, I tll the. ‘once. Gop's sacrament! I would she had lost chheart out of her belly! ‘The devil, or ele his dame, they ought® her, sure a shamet How a murrion came this chanee, say, Tib! unto our dame? ‘in, My gamer sat her down on her pes’, and bade me reach thy breeches, 0 ‘And by and by—a vengeance in it!—ere she had take two stitches To clout a cout, upon thine arse, by chance aside she lers, ‘And Gib, our eat, in the milkepan she spied over head and cars. “Ak, whore! out, thief she cried aloud, and swept the breeches down. a Up went her staff, and out leapt Gib at doors into the town, MH et a noble, *Owed, *Hanock oer, Now a vengeance light on all the sort, that beter shuld fave kept ae fs ee ‘The cat, the house, and Ti, our maid, tat better should have swept itt See where she cometh cing! Come om, any! ‘Ye have made afr day's work, have you not Pray you, say! twenty devil” ‘THE FIRST ACT, THE FOURTH SCENE, annex [enters]. nonce, my, coc. cases. Ala, Hodge, alas! { may well cuse and ban ‘This day, that ever Lsaw it, with Gib and the milk-pang For these and ill-luck together, 2s knoweth Cock, my boy, Have stuck away my dear necle, and robbed me of my joy, My Gir long straight nee, that was mine only teame] The first ey sf foo i and as end of my plese! ones (ase). Might ha’ kept it, when ye had it! But foo! will be fol si, eet ‘Lose thats vast in your hands ye need not, but ye will uur Goi the, i and run, tho whore, tiend here Didst carry outdurtin thy lpr Seck wherethou poutstit down; ‘ine 17) Cone Nor yt sept ine 9) he enone about he honemm Gamer Gurton's Needle Lace [And as thou sawest me poking, in the ashes where I mourned, $0 sce in all the heap of dust thou leave no straw unturned. “an. That call, Gammer, swyth' and tte, and soon be here again! ‘canmun. Ti, stoop and look down to che ground to it, and take some pain. 4 nonce. Hete isa pretty matter, to see this gear how it goes: ‘By Gog’ soul, [think you would lose your are, Toose! ‘Your nec'le lost Itis pity you should lack care and endless Gog's death, how shall my breeches be sewed Shall go chus to-morrow? ccannutn. Ah Hodge, Hodge! If that ich could find my nel, by the reed CClrould sewr thy breeches, ich promise thee, with full good double thread, 20 [And seta patch on either knee should last this moneths twain. Now God and good Saint Sithet, I pray to send it home sia! once. Whereto served your bands and eye, but this your rece to keep? 3 ‘What devil had you els to dot Ye Keep, ich wot, no sheep! Cham fain abroad to dig and delve, in water, mite, and clay, Sosing and posing in the drt tl from day to day. ‘A hunted things that be abroad, cham set to see thei well, ‘And four of you stile a home, and cannot keep 2 nec! ‘cawnre My nee, sas! Ih lost, Hodge, what time ich me vp hasted ‘To save the milk set up for thee, which Gib, our eat, hath wasted. xo Quickly, "Le, f008, coe, *5t. Onth bce Ganmer Gurton’s Needle 23 novet The devi he bur both Gib nd Tit with all he est! Cham always sre of the wort end, whoever have the but ‘Whercka! you ben fidgin® abroad nce you your ner est ants. Within the ows, and atthe Jor ting by ts same pst, Where war looking along hou, efor these folks came eres But, wellaway, all was in vain, my nee'le is never the meat! it be ‘Gog's heart, ye be foolish ich think, you know it not when you ‘cawaee, Come hither, Cock! What, Cock, Is! ” [Ewer cocx] cocx. How, Gammert ‘ann, Go, hie thee soon, ‘And grope behind the old bras pan, ing wl mone te ‘pan, which thing when thow ‘Thece shale thou find an old shoe, wherein, if thou look well Thou shat ind Tying an inch of a white allow candle; Light it, and bring it ive away. cook. ‘That shall be done anon. ran, Nays ary, Hodge il ho fs ight nd then ‘well seck each one. “s wovot, Come away, ye whore boy, are ye alecpr Ye oes. ch amas get the candle igh: here alien no Se oock. Chil hold thee & penny, chill make thee come, if that ich may atch thine ca ‘Art deaf, thou sthoreson boy? Cock, I says why, cast not heart Gasser. Beat him not, Hodge, but help the boy, and come you two together. melon 2 "Pidgtng, moving show "Be,m4 Gamer Gurton's Needle Lies ‘THE FIRST ACT. THE FIFTH SCENE. cannes, 1m cocx, HoDen [enter later. ‘eanaten, How now, Tibr Quick, let's hear what news thou hast brought hither! smn, Chave tost and tumbled yonder heap over and over agin, : ‘And vwinnowed it through my fingers, x men would winnow rain; [Not so much ata hen's curd, but in pieces Tare Or whatsoever clod or clay I found, 1 did not spate i, 5 Looking within and eke without, to find your nce'l, als! Bot all in vain and without help! Your nee'le is where it was. ‘canouer, Alas, my nee'le!We shall never mect! Adieu, adiew, for aye! ‘rin Not so, Gammer, we might it fin, if we knew where it hy. ‘cock. Gog’s cross, Gammer, if ye will laugh, look in but at the door, 0 [And see how Hodge eth tumbling and tossing amidst the flour, Raking there some fire to find among the ashes dead, ‘Where there is not one spark so big 282 pin's heady ‘At last ina dark comer two sparks he thought he sees, 24 Which were indeed nought else but Gib our cat's two eyes Pufft" quod Hodge, thinking thereby to have fire without doubt; With that Gib shut her two eyes, and s0 the fie was out; ‘nd by and by them opened, even as they were before; ‘With that the sparks appeated, even as they had dane of yores ‘And even as Hodge blew the fire, ashe did think, 20 Gib, at she fle che bast, straightway began to wink; Les Gamer Gurton's Needle as Till Hodge fell of swearing, as came best to his tum, The fire was sure bewitch'd, and therefore would not buen. ‘At st Gib up the stairs, among the old posts and pins, 24 ‘And Hodge he hid him aftr, til broke were both his shins: Cursing and swearing oaths were never of his making, ‘That Gib would fire the hous if that she were ot taken, ‘caNMER. See, heres all the thought tha the foalidhwrchin ‘And Tib, me think, at his elbow almost as merry maketh “This is all the wit ye have, when others make their moan Come down, Hodge, where art chour And let the cat alone! ‘once. Gog's heart, help and come up! Gib in her til hath fire, And is Tike to burn all, if she get a litle higher! ‘Come down, quoth your Nay, then you might count me 3 patch, The house cometh down on your heads, if i take once the thatch, 35 Canove, Te isthe eats eyes, fool, that shineth in the dark. stoct. Hath the ext, do you think, in every eye a spark? ‘cawoen. No, but they shine 2s like fire as ever man se. ‘mopce. By the mass and she burn al, you sh bear the blame for me! ‘canner, Come down and help to seck here our nee, that it were found © Down, Tib, on the knes, Tsay! Down, Cock, tothe ground! To God I make a vow, and s0 to good Saint Anne, A candle shall they have apiece, get it where I en, ET may my nee'le find in one place ot in other. oper. Now a vengeance on Gib light, on Gib and Gib's smother, 0 ‘And all che generation of cats both far and near! Feo,n6 Ganmer Gurton’s Needle thee Look on the ground, whoreion, thinks thou the ne'le is heret ‘cock. By my toth, Gammer, methought your nce'le here Tsay, But when my fingers touch'd i, 1 fle it was a str ‘im. See, Houge, what's tht May it not be within itt 50 ‘Moves. Beak it, foo, with thy hand, and see and thou canst find it. “TR Nay, break W Fou, Hodge, BeeoRaing Wo your word nopet. Gog's sides! Fe, it sinks! Ie is 2 ca’ tu 1 were well dane to make thee eat it, by the mas ‘cave. This matter amendeth not; say neele i ail where it was, 38 ‘Our candle is at an end, let us all in quite, ‘And come another time, when we have more light. ‘THE SECOND ACT. Fist « sono, Back and side go bare, go bare, ‘Both foot and hand go cold; But, belly, God send thee ood ale enough, Whether it be new or old ‘Though I go bare, tke ye no cae, Tam nothing a-old; 1 Tsu my sino fill within Of ely good ale and eld. ‘Back and side go bare, go bare, ee Weer Ganmer Gurton's Needle n7 T love mo roast but @ rnt-rown toast And a crab aid in the fire 5 A litle bread shall do me’ sted: Mick breed I not desir, [No frost nor snow, no wind, I wow, Can hurt me if T would; Tam 30 wnapt_and thoroughly Lape (Of jolly good ale and old Back and side go bare, ete And Tib my wife, that a8 her life LLoveth well god ale t sek, Fall oft drinks she all ye may sce The tears ras down her chek: ‘Then dots she troll 10 me the bowl Even as « malt-vorm should; And sith, “Sweetheart, 1 took my part Of tis jelly good ale and ld.” » ‘Back and side go bare, te ‘Now tet them drink sil they nod and wink, Even as good fellows should do; They shall not miss to have the Bliss Good ale doth ring men to; as And ll poor souls that have scoured bowl, Or have them lustily wll, God save the lives of them and their wives Whether they be young or eld. Bade and side go bre, et. ra * Routed erbaple, dopped iat the ae,m8 Gamer Gurton's Needle Uso THE SECOND ACT. THE FIRST SCENE. piccow [eters from Dan tars alehone. nonce fers late piccon. Well done, by Gog's malt! Well sung and well sid! Come on, mother Chat, as thou art true_maid, ‘One fresh pot of ale let's see, to make an end [Againwe this cold weather my naked arms to defend! 4 ‘This gear it warms the sul! Nowe, wind, blow on thy worst! ‘And let us drink and swil ell that our belles burt! Sow wee he aw man by cming cos eine Which way my journey lieth, or where Diccon will dine Sut ne god frm I have: he it by night or day, South, eat, north, of west, Lam never out of my way! 10 nonce. Chim goodly rewarded, cham 1 not, do you thinks Chad a goodly dinner forall my sweat and swink! Nether techn mill eos nr fb Save this cof batley-bread: "sa pleasant costly dish! Trcuon Hai low Hodge and well wi hy mest if thou have any: 8 But by thy words, 25 [them smelled, thy daintrht be not novcs. Daintrels, Diccon® Gog's soul, man, save this piece ‘of dry horsebread, habe mo bis lng day no ce ome in my ads My guts they yawlcrawl, and all my belly rumble, 19 ‘The pudding cannot eal cach one over ther tbh, By Gog's heat, cham so vexed, and in my belly penn Chould one piece were at the spital-house, another at che ‘tle end! spetiace, — *Vicera tse Gammer Gurton's Necile ny meson. Why, Hodge, wa here none a ore thy open Go's bends Dizon, ih came to ts, was nothing here to get! -~a foul fend might om her light!—licked the mill-pan so dean, 35 Sse, Diccon, “twas not 40 well washed this seven yeat, as ich ween! ‘A pestilence ight on allillluck! Chad thought, yer, For allthis, ‘OF a morsel of bacon behind the door at worst should not ‘But when ich sought a slip to cut, a ich was wont todo, 29 Gog's souls, Diccon! Gib, our eat, had ext the bacon too! Which bacon DICCON sole, os is declared befor. iccox, luck, quod het Mat the truth tll, ‘Thou rose not on thy right side, or che blesed thee not well. ‘Thy milk slopped up, thy bacon fiched! That was too bad luck, Hodge! opct. Nay, nay there was a fouler fault, my Gammer ga" me the dodge; " . Seest not how cham rent and torn, my heels, my knees, and ny breech 3s ‘Chad thought, as ich sat bythe fire, help here and there a stich But there ich’ was pouped* indeed. biccon, ‘Why, Hodger jovce. Boots not, ‘man, to tll. (Cham so deest amongst a sort of fools, chad better bein hell My Ganimet, ham ashame to ay, by God, served me not * Poe, chested. swear it, Hodge! this day,NT 120 Gummer Gurtn’s Needle tres niccon. How so, Hodget noDce. Has she not gone, trowest now, and lost her ne'let © piccos. Her eel, Hodger Who fished of latet ‘That was a dainty dish ‘once, Tesh, tush, her newle her nec'le, her neele, man! Ts neither flesh nor fs ‘A Title thing with an hole in the end, as Bright as any siller, Sill, long, sharp at che point, and straight as any pill ‘iccon. I know not what a devil thou meanest; thou bring’st ime more in doubt. 4s nopcr. Knowest not with what ‘Tom Tailo’s man sis broaching through a clout's A nee'le, a nec'le, a nec'le! My Gammer’s nec'le i gone. ‘iceon. Her nec'le, Hodge! Now I smell thee! That was a chance alone! By the mass, thou hast a shamefl los, and it were but for thy breeches. ‘nonce. Gog's roul, man, chould give a crown chad it but three stiches. ° siccox. How sayest thou, Hodger What should he have. again thy Needle gott 1Hopce. By mfather’s soul, and chad it, chould give him a new groat. iccon, Canst thou keep counsel in this caret HoDcE. lke chywold ‘my tongue were out, recon. Do thou bat then by my advice, and I will fetch i without doubt, ‘ones. Chill run, chill ride, chill dig, chill delve, 55 Chill coil, chill trudge, shale see; 1 Piecing though & cot, Wear Ganmer Gurin’s Needle nar ill hold, chill draw, chill pall chill pinch, I kneel on my bate knee; Chill srape, chil scratch, cil if, hil seo Chill bow, chill bend, chill sweat, ” Chil stoop, chill se chil cap chill kneel, Chill xcep on hands and feet; Chill be thy bondman, Diccon, ich-swets m ‘And chanot somewhat to stop this gap, cham ueerly undone! Pointing behind to is trm beeches, icon. Why, is there any special cause thou takest hereat such sorrow 6 oves. Kintlan Clack, Tom Simpson's maid, by the mas, comes hither to-morrow, ‘Cham not able to say, between us what may hap; She smiled on me the lise Sunday, when ich pat off my cap. Piccon. Well, Hodge, ths isa’ matter of weight, and must be kept close, © It might ese turn to both our costs, asthe world now goes, Shale swear to be no blab, Hodger novcE. Chill, Diceon, cco. ‘Then go to, Lay thine hand here; say after me, as thou shalt hear me do. Hast no bookt nonce. Cha" no book, I. iccon. ‘Then needs must force us both, ‘pen my beech toy thine hand, and thee to take hie ont over. I, Hodge, brechles *s Swear to Diccon,recles!, By the cro that I shall ks To keep his counsel close, Rett,12 Ganmer Gurton's Needle ser And always me to dispose ‘To work that his pleasure is. oy “Here he kisth iccon's breech piccon. Now, Hodge, see thou take heed, ‘And do as I thee bids 7 For $0 1 judge it mee; “There it no shift therein, 8s But conjure up a spreet ops. What, the great devi Diccon, 1 sayt piccon. Yea in good faith, that is the Fee with some pretty charm. noD6e. Soft, Dieeon, be mot to hasty yet, ” By the mas, for ich begin to sweat! CChatn afiaid of some harm. then, and stir thee not (One inch out of this circle plat, ‘Bat stand as T thee teach. 95 rope, And shall ich be here safe fiom their lawst piccow. The maste-devil with his long paws Here to thee eannot reach. [Now will I settle me to this gear oper. I say, Diecon, heat me, hear! 100 Go sofily to this matter! ‘iccon. What devil, mant Art afaid of nought? nonce, Canst not tarry 2 litle thought Till ich make a courtesy of water riccox. Stand sill to itl Why shouldest thou fear bimt x05 ropct. Gog's sides, Diceon, me think ich heat him! ‘And tarry, chall mae al! piceos. The matter is no worse than I told it > Feced, Oo Meso Gamer Gurton's Needle 13 oper. By the mass, cham able no longer to hold it! Too bad! ich must beray* the hall! DiccoN, Stand to it, Hodge! Stir not, you whoreson! What devil, be thine atse-strings brustent Thyself a while but sty, ‘The devil (I smell him) will be here anon, Chill not be at that fray! THE SECOND ACT. THE SECOND SCENE. ‘iccon. cmar [enters leter), Diccow. Fie, shitten knave, and out upon thee! Above all other louts, fe on thee! Is not here a cleanly pranke Dut thy matter was no better, Nor thy presence here 40 sweeter, s To fly 1 can thee thank, Hire is a matter worthy glosing', Of Gammer Gurton’s needle losing, ‘And a foul piece of work! ‘Aman I think might make a play, 1 ‘And need no word to this they say, ‘Being but half a clerk Sofi, let me alone, 1 will tke the cha ‘his matter farther to enlarge ‘Within a time shore. 1s I ye will mark my toys, and note, 1 will give ye leave to cut my throat ICT make not good sport.124 Gamer Gurton's Needle Usc2 Dame Chat, I say, where be yer Withine ‘cnaz. Who have we there maketh such a dint 2» piccon. Here is a good fellow, maketh no great danger. cat. What, Diccon? Come near, ye be no stranger. “We be fast set at trump, man, hard by the fi “Thou shale set on the king, if thou come a litle nigher. piceow. Nay, nay, there is no tarrying; € must be gone boctox sar, Think you Iam se mad that where Iwas beat 1 wot not Will ye believe this quean, before she hath tied itr Tes moe the first deed she hath done, and afterward denied it cca. What, man, will you say I broke your head? 30 poctox nat. How canst thou prove the contrary? ‘cunt. Nay, hovr provest thou that I did the deed? ocToR nar. Too phinly, by St Mary, ‘This proof, I trow, may serve, though I no word spoke! ‘Showing is broken head, 4 ‘tat, Because thy head is broken, was it I that it broker 1 saw thee, Rat 1 tell thee, not once within this Formight. poctox nar. No, marry, thou sswest me not; for why# thou hadst no lights But I fele thee for all the dark, beshrew thy smooth checks! ‘nd thou groped me, this will declare any day this six weeks, ‘Showing his hood. Arhiva "Bese,152 Ganmer Gurton's Needle Vises aay. Answer me to this, Mlas¢] Rat: when eaught you this harm of yourst octor nar. A while go, than these two hours. samy, Dame Chat, was there none with you (confess i' ith) about that season? ‘What, womant Let it be what it will, ‘tis nether felony nor - God he knoweth, within less Veses Ganmer Gurton's Needle 153, anacy, But knowest thow not his namer usr. Tow it, but what then 1 va that crafty cllion! Hodge, my Gammer Gurton’s man, saacx, Call me the knave hither, he shall sute kiss the stocks. 1 shall teach him a leson for filching hens or cocks! $5 Docton nar. I marvel, Master Baily, so bleared be your eyes, ‘cut. Yes, by my fith, Master Baily, there was a knave not far ‘Who caught one good filip on the brow with a doorbar, 35 ‘And well was he worthy, as it seemed to me; ‘But what is that to this man, since this was not het amscy. Who was it thene Let's heat! ocTOR nar. Alas, sr, atk you that? [sit mot made plain enough by the own mouth of Dame Chat? “i sine ores fd ene, ronan emt ‘upon a bare nay she sith it was not I. CC Nes mays wa ot nde! eal et by cone thing: ‘This fiemoon a Giend of mine for good-will gave me wsening, ‘And bad me well lok to my roost, and all my eapons’ pens, For if | took not better heed, a knave would have my hens ‘Then I to ave my goods, took so much pains as him to watch; ‘And 25 good fortune served me, it was my chance bim for to catch. ‘What strokes he bare away, or other what was his gains, [wot net, but sure Iam he kad something fr his puns! savcr. Yet tll'st thow not who it was. coat. ee theef, “Tat ce Hike fe fo, my pul to kil and mich! * Poakry, “Kn. egg. not 50 Fall oF meat, a8 she is fall of His: ‘When she hath played this prank, to excise all this geat, She lyeth the fault in such a one as I know vas not there. ‘car, Was he not theret Look om his pte; that shall be his witnes! es bocton rat. I would my head were balfso whole; I would seek no redress! sax. God bless you, Gammer Gurtont cava, God yield ye, saucy. Thou hast a knave within thy house—Hodge, a servant of thi They tll me chat busy knave i sch a fiching one, 64 ‘That hen, pig, goose or capon, thy neighbour can have none. ‘cams. By God, cham much a-meved? to hear any such report! Hodge was not wont, ich trow, to "have him in that sor ‘oar, A thicvisher knave is not ondive, more filchng, nor more ales ‘Many a truce man than he has hanged up by the hak; 69 ‘And thou, his dame—of al his thet thou art the sole receivers For Hodge to catch, and thou to keep, Inever knew noi better! Canes, Sir reverence of your masterdom, and you were fut adoor, ‘Rawal. French evil, teice, ewan. Moved, ope, “Nec154 Gammer Curton's Needle Veco CChold be so bold, forall her brags, to call her areant who ‘And ich knew Hodge 3s bad a ou, ich wish me endles sorrow ‘And chould not take the pains to kang him up before to- morrow! A ‘aust, What have I stolen from thee or thine, thou il-favor'd old trot cvaten. A great deal more, by God's blest, than chever by thee got! “That thou knowest well, need not say ie aa. Stop there, Tsay, ‘And tell me here, I pray you, this matter by the ways 79 How chance Hodge is not heret Him would I fain have had. ‘cane, Als, sit, he'll be here son; ha’ be handled too bad. cata. Master Baily, sr, ye be not such a fooh well I know. Bat ye perceive by this lingering there isa pad! in the straw. ‘Thinking tha woves his heed was broke, and that caonen would not let im come before them. Ccawuen. Chill show you his face ich warrant thee; lo, now ‘where he is! 4 samy, Come on fellow. Its told me thou arta shrew, iewis: “Thy neighbour's hens thou takes, and plays the two-legged fox: ‘Theie chickens and their capons too, and now and then their cocks. rover, Ich defy them all cha dare it says cham as tue as the bes sani. Wert not thou take within this hour in Dame Chats haensanest? ‘oct, Take theret No, master; chould not do’tfora house fall of gold! ° cexuz. Thow, of the devil in thy coat—swear this I dare be bold pent . : ‘ Vese2 Gamer Gurton's Needle 155 octon nar, Swear me no swearing, quean. The devil he sive thee sorrow! ANlLis not worth a gnat, thou canst swear till to-morrow! We i the bam Be a Sow it, by Go's bed! 94 fe beat him with a witnes, but the stripes light on a ies light on my over, Beat me! Gog’s blesed body, chould fis, ich tow, have burst thee! Tel think, and chad my Tad Toose, calle, chould have ert™ thee! ‘cat. Thou shitten knave, I trow thou knowest the fall weight of my fist 1 am foully deceived unless thy head and my door-bar kised. once, Hold thy chat, whore; thou criest so loud, ean no ‘man ele be heard 100 ‘cat, Well, knave, and I had thee alone, I would surly rap thy costard! BAILY. Sir, answer me to this Is thy head whole or brokent cunt. Yea, Master Baily, blest be every good token. hopes. Is my head whole! Ich warrant you, ‘ts neither scurvy nor sal ‘What, you foul beast, docs think ts either peeled or bald 10s Nay, ich thank God, chill not forall that thou may't spend ‘That chad one seab on my narse as broad as thy fingers end. sarct. Come nearer here! ope. ‘Yes, that ich dare. aay. our Lady, hete is no harm, " 2 Hodge's head is whole enough, forall Dame Cht's charm. om. By Gos Ble, however the thing he clk or Cashel. "Sabb. "Smothers, 4156 Ganmer Gurton's Needle Vesea 1 know the blows he bate away, either with head or shoulders ‘Camest thow not, knave, within this hour, creeping into my pens, . ‘And there was caught within my house, groping among my hhenst nooo. A plague both on the hens and thee! A cact, whore, aant! Could L were hanged as high as a tree, and chwere as fase 2s thou at! us Give my gammer aguin hee washical thou stole away in thy ccaaen. Yea, Master Baily there is a thing you know not con, mayhaps ve ‘This drab she keeps away my good, the devil he might her Ich that ich might have a tight action on her. 119 tae Have I thy god, old th o any such ol 1's 1 am as true, I would thou knew, as skin between thy brows. Ccaniamn. Many a true hath been hanged, though you escape the danger! ‘cut. Thou shalt answer, by God's pty, for this thy fou slander! saitr. Why, what can you charge her withalr To say s0 ye do not well ‘easoare, Marry, a vengeance to her heart! The whore has soln my neclet ns cur. Thy nedle, old witch! How st Tt were als thy sul ‘0 knock! So didst thou say the other day, that Thad stol'n thy cock. ‘And roasted him to my breakfst, which shall not be forgotten, “The devil pll out cy lying tongue and teeth that be 20 rotten! To aul he hough the sre, aconing to ntom. * What your abit Vesa Gamer Gurten’s Needle 157 amra. Give me my neele! As for my Cock, chould be very loath 130 “That chould hear tll he should hang on thy filse Gith and roth. spay. Your talk is such, I can scarce learn who sliould be ‘mot in fale. ‘eannaen. Yet shall ye find no other wight, save she, by bread and salt! sain Keepy Ss mye hold ‘Methinks you should remember this is no place to scold, 135, How knowest thou, Gammer Gurton, Dame Chat thy needle hadi oavowen. ‘To name you, sit the party, chould not be very ance. Yea, but we must needs hear it, and therefore say it boldly. ‘oxvnwen. Such one a5 told the tle fall soberly and coldly, Even he that looked on—will swear on 2 book Ba ‘What time this drunken gosip my fae long nee'le up took, Diecon, Master, the Bedlam, cham very sure ye know him. mitt. A false knave, by God's pity! Ye were but a fool £0 teow! him. 1 durst aventure well the price of my best cap, “That when the end is Known, all will tn t0 3 fape, 145 Told he not you that besides she stole your cock that tides ‘cawives. No, master, noindced; fr then be should have ied. ‘My cock is, I thank Christ safe and well a-ine? ‘cat. Yea, but that rugged colt, that whore, that Tib of thine, 9 Said plainly thy cock was ston, and in my howe wos eaten, ‘That lying cut is lost that she isnot swinged and beaten, "Believe, Time, "At the end. “Gelling, a te of ane.138 Ganmer Gurton’s Needle Vise And yet for all my good name it were a small amends! 1 pick not this gear, heart thou, out of my finger en But he that head i tld me, who thow of late dist name, Diecon, whom all men knows, it was the very same. 135 aI. This the ease: you lost your nel about the doors, Vesa Ganmer Gurton’s Needle 159 octon nar. By God's mother, thou and he be 2 couple of subtle foxes! Between you and Hodge 1 bear away the boxes. 1 Did not Diccon appoint the place, where thou should stand to meet hint cat. Yes, by the mass and if he eame, bad me not stick to spit him. ‘And she answers again, she has no cock of yours: “Thos in your] talk and action, feom that you do intend, jr-aho site-wide: she-ded! : Will you say she hath your cockt 160 ‘canner. No, matty, st, that chill not. any. ‘Will you confess hee nelle ‘cur. Will Te No sic, will T not. aay. “Then there Kieth all the ‘casa, Sofi, master, by the way! Ye know she could do little, and she could not say nay. sary. Yea, but he that made one lie about your cock~ stealing, 65 ‘Will not stick to make another, what time les be in dealing. ween the end will prove this brawl did ise arise Upon no other ground but only Diccon’s lcs. ‘ua, Though some be lies, as you belike have esped them, Yet other some be trve, by proof Ihave well tried them. 170 anuvx, What other thing beside this, Dame Chaee car. ‘Mary, si even thi ‘The tale I told before, the selfsame tale it was hiss He gave me lke a frend, waming against my los Else had my hens be sto'n each one, by God's eos! He told me Hodge would come, and in he came indeed, 175 Bort as che matter chanced, with greater haste than speed. ‘This trath was said, and true was found, as truly I report. aaity. IfDoctor Rat be not deceived, it was of another sort mu srerament! The villi farave hat dres'é ———] — ‘us round about! He is the cause of allthis brawl, that dirty shiten lout! When Gammer Gurton here complained, and made a refill ‘moan, 18s 1 heard him sear that you fad gotten her newdle that was one: ‘And this to try, he farther said, he wa fli loth; howbeit ‘He was content with small ado to bring me where to se it. ‘And where ye at, he said fall ertain, if would follow his reed, Into your house a privy way he would me guide and lead, ‘And where ye had it in your hands, sewing about a clout, ‘And set me in the backhoe, thereby to find you out: 103 ‘And whiles I sought 2 quietes, creeping upon my knees 1 found the weight of your door-bar for my reward and fes. Suc is the luck that some men gets, while they begin to ml. In setting at one such 25 were out, minding to make all well ‘noose. Was not wel blest, Gammer, to ‘scape that stout? ‘And chad been there, ‘Then chad been dres', belie, as il, by the mas, as Gaffer Vieat. BAILY. Marry, sity here is sport alone; I Tooked for such an end. 199 EDiccon had not play'd the knave, this had been soon amend. *Medile, Tuma "Serve ete,er Hie 160 Gamer Gurion’s Needle vise My Gammer here he made a foo, and dies her 28 she was: ihvd goodwife Chat hese scold, til both parts ered, alas! ‘And Doctor) Rat was not behind, whiles Chat his crown did would the knave had been stk blind, if Hodge had not his share. once, Cham mectly wellsped already among’s, cham ‘And chad not had the better wit, chad been made 2 dolt Sante, Sit knave, make haste Diecon were here; fetch him, ‘wherever he cour. Bie on the villain, fi, fe! That makes ws thus agreet ‘cawen. Fie on hit, knave, with all my heart! Now fc, and fie again! pocron sat. Now “fe on him!” may I best sty, whom he ath almost slain. 210 anny. Lo, where he cometh at and; belke he was not f Diccon, here be two or three thy company cannot spare ‘iccON. God bles you, and you may be bles‘, so many all at once! ‘eur. Come, knave, it were a good deed to geld thee, by Cock’s bones! Seest not thy handiworke Sit Rat, can ye forbear hime 215 ICCON. A vengeance on those hands light, for my hands ‘ame not near him. “The whoreson priest hath lif the pot in some ofthese alewive hrs, ‘That his head would not serve him, belike, to come down the unit. Nay, soft! thou may'st not play the knave, and have this language too! 319 Ie thou thy tongue bridle 2 while, the beter may'st thou do. Confess the truth, a Isl ask, and cease a while to fable; Vises Gamer Gurton’s Needle 161 ‘And for thy fault promsze thee thy handling shall bereasonable Hist thou not made lie or two, to set these two by the east piccox. What if I haver Five hundred such have 1 seen within these seven years Iam sory for nothing else but that I see not the sport 225 “Which was between them when they mets as they themselves report. any. ‘The greatest thing—Master Rat, ye sce how he is resid! piccon. What devil ned he be groping s0decp, in goodwife CChat’s hens-estt saacy. Yea, bat it was thy drift o bring him into the briars. piccon. God's bread! Hath not such an old fool wit to save his ears ae He showeth himself herein, ye ee, s0 very a cox!, “The cat was not so madly allued by the fox ‘To rum into the suares was st for him, doubtless; For he leapt in for mice, and this Sir John for madness. ‘Docton rar. Well, and ye shift no beter, ye lose iter? and lay, 35 1 will go near for this to make ye leap at a daisy Jn the king's name, Master Baily, 1 charge you set him fst ‘iccox. Whatt Fast at catds or fst on sleep Iti the thing 1 did bast octor nar. Nay, ist in fetes, false varlet, according *0 thy deeds air. Master Doctor, there iso remedy; must entreat yoo, needs, 20 Some other kind of punishment. ‘DOCTOR RAT. Nay, by All-Hillows! His ponishment,i€ 1 may judge, shall be nought ele but the gallows. ‘Fool, #Neee do wel, "Low, Be banged.x60 Gamer Gurton’s Needle vise.2 ‘My Gaminer here he made a fool and dre her a she was, Ihe goodurife Chat he ett scold, ll boch pars eid, alist ‘And Doctor] Rat was not behind, whiles Chat hs crowm did 1 would the knave had been stark blind, if Hodge had not his share. opoe, Cham mectly wellsped already among's, cham dress Tike a coe! ‘And chad not had the better wit, chad been made a dott pure. Sit knave, make haste Diceon were hete; fetch him, wherever he be! ‘cur, Fie on the villain, fc, fit ‘That makes us thus agree! ‘quansen. Fe on him, knave, with all my heart! Now fic, and fie again! pocron nar, Now “fie om hima!” may I best say, whom he hath almost shin. x10 aumce, Lo, where he cometh at hand; belike he was not fart Diccon, here be two of three thy company cannot spate ‘ICCON. God bles you, and you may be bles, so many all at once! ‘cur, Come, knave, it were a good decd to geld thee, by Cock’s bones! Seat not thy handiwork? Sit Rat, can ye forbear himt 215 ‘ccoN. A vengeance on those hands light, for my hands ‘came not near him. “The whoreson priest hath lif the pot in some of these alewives! chairs, “That hi head would not serve him, belike, to come down the suit, Nay, soft! thou may'st not play the knave, and have this language too! 20 Ie thou thy tongue bridle 2 while, che beter may'st thou do. CConfes the truth, as Istll ask, and cease a while to fable; vies Ganmer Gurton's Needle 161 ‘And or thy aut promise the thy handling shall bereasonable, ‘Has thou not made a lie of two, to set these two by the eatst ‘iccon. What if I haver Five hundsed such have T seen ‘within these seven years; Lam sorry for nothing ele but that I see not the sport 235 ‘Which was between them when they met, as they themselves ‘report aay. The greatest thing —Master Rat, ye see how he is dew iccox. What devil need he be groping so dep, in goodwife ‘Chats ens-nest2 ani. Yea, but it was thy def to bring him into the bears. ‘iccon. God's bread! Hath not such an old fool wit to sve his ease 0 He showeth himself herein, ye see, so very 2 cox’ ‘The cat-was not so madly allored by the fox "To am into the snares was st for him, doubtless; For he leapt in for mice, and this Sir John for madness. ‘pocton sAr. Well, and ye shift no better, ye Tote, lithe? and zy, as 1 will go near for this to make ye leap at dai In the kings name, Master Baily, I charge you set him fst ‘iccon. What? Fast at cards or fst on sleep Iti the thing 1 did ast, ppoctox nar. Nay, fst in feters, filbe vatlet, according t0 thy deeds. aust. Master Doctor, there is no remedy; I mustenteat You, needs, 240 Some other kind of punishment. ‘DOCTOR RAT. Nay, by All-Hallows! His punishment, i€1 may judge, shall be noughe cle but the allows ool, !Neerdo-well, "Low, Be hang.it 162 Gammer Gutton’s Needle Visca avy. ‘That wete too sore; spirtal man tobe so extreme! i pocron RAT I he wonky any bette, sit How do you i judge and deem? 2h sizes Tan him worthy ponent, but in no wis 0 coun, ia shame, ich el you pli, or sach ie aves erent. skmost undone ut alla i as true as sel — ‘And yet forall his great ado cham never the near my nee TET Cant thou not say anything to that, Disco, with Teas oF most rcoon. Yea, matry, si thus much Lean say well the nel is Ios. 230 suit, Nay, canst not thow tell which way that needle may be found sxceon. No, by my fy, st, though might havean hundred pound. snopes. Thou tent recon. No, Hodges by the same token you were that time bien For fear of hobgoblin—you wot well what I means 255 [AS Tong as iti since, I fear me yet ye be saree clean. Taree, Wel, Master Rat you must both lear and teach ut to forgive. since Diczon hath confesion made, and isso clan sheve If ye to me consent, to amend ths heavy chance, 1 al exjoin him here some open kind of penance, 260 Of chs condtion—where ye know my fee is twenty pence For the bloodshed, ram agreed with you here to dixpense— Ye shall go. quit, vo that ye grat the matter now ¢0 run ‘To end with mirth among us all, even as it wat begun. Shiven, —* Absoled. , lickdish, didst not say the ne'le would be Vise Ganmer Gurton’s Needle 163 car Say yea, Master Vicar, and he shall sure confess to be your debtor, 2s [And all we that be here present will love you much the better, ‘acto Rar. My partis the worst; but since you all hereon agree, Go even to, Master Baily! Let it be s0 for met air. How say's thos, Diecon® Art content this shall on me depend iceon. Gove, Mas] Ealy, say on your mind, Tknow ye are my fen 20 saat. Then matk ye well: To recompense this thy former Because thow hast offended ll to make them sstifction— fore their faces here kneel doven, and as I shall thee tech— For thou shalt take an oath of Hodge's leather breech: First, for Master Doctor, upon pain of his curse, 275 Where he will pay for all, thou never draw thy purses And when ye mect at one pot he shall have the fst pll, ‘And thou shalt never offer him the eup but it befall “To goodiwife Chat thou shalt be swom, even on the same wise, IE she refuse thy money once, never to offer it twice. 280 ‘Thou shalt be bound by the same, here as thou dost take it, ‘When thou may'st drink of fre cost, thou never forsake it For Gammer Gurton’s sake, again swom shalt thou be, ‘To help her to her needle again if it do lie in thees ‘And likewise be bound, by the virtue of that 285 ‘To be of good a-bearing to Gib her great ct. Last of all, for Hodge the oath to scan, “Thou shale never take him for fine gentleman, ‘nopce Come on, fellow Diccon, chal be even with thee aan. Thou wilt not stick to do this Diccon, I trow? 250364 picoox. No, by my father's skin, my hand down I Iay itt Look, 28 I have promised, I will not denay it. ‘But, Hodge, take good heed now, thou do not beshit met ‘And gave him a good blow on the buttock, Visa an. What, Hodge, doth he hurt the ere ever he begint nope. He thrust me ino the butock with a bodkin or 2 pin. 296 He discovers the neal. 1 say, Gammer! Gammer! ‘anon, How now, Hodge, how now? ‘nonce, God's malt, Gammer Gurton! cance, ‘Thou art mad, ich tow! snovce Will you see the devil, Gammert ‘God bless ws! open. Chould, [if] ich were ranged, Gammer— ‘The devil, son! canoe, Marry, see, ye might dress ws— 300 rnopen, Chave it, by the mass, Gamer! ‘canoer, ‘What, not my nee'le, Hodget siopcr Your nee'le, Gammer! your nee'e! scansn. No, fe, dost but lodge! nonce. Ch’ a found your ne'le, Gammer, here in my hand be et ‘camarn, For all the loves on earth, Hodge, let me see itt nope. Soft, Gammer! camusn, ‘Good Hodge! pease eee Gamer Gurton's Needle 165 Soft, ic says tarry a 105 ccanmen. Nay, sweet Hodge, say truth and not me beguile! ‘ocr. Cham sure on i, ich warrant you; it goes no more wopce, Go near the light, Gammer, thir—well, in ith, ‘ood Tuck! — as almost undone, “twas s0 far in my buttock! 310 ‘caMmen. "Tis mine own deat nee'l, Hodge, sikey 1 wot! ropce. Cham I not a good son, Gammer, cham T note Ccavawen. Christ's blessing light on thee, hast made me for ever! ‘open, Ich knew that ich must find it, cle chould a" had it never! ‘cuat. By my troth, Gosip Gurton, Iam even as glad 315 ‘As though I mine own self as good 3 tum had! sarcx. And I, by my conscience, to see it so come forth, Rejoice so much ait as three needles be worth. Doctor nar. I am no whit sorry £0 see you 0 rejoice ccon. Nor I much the gladder for allthis noite; 320 ‘Yet say, “Gramercy, Diccon!” for springing of the game. ‘casos. Gramercy, Diecon, twenty times! O, how glad ham! IEF that chould do so much, your masterdom to come hither, Master Rat, Gloodwife Chat, and Diccon together, ‘Cha but one halfpenny, as far as ich know it, ms ‘And chill not rest this night, tll ich bestow it fever ye love me, let us go in and drink. sancr. Tam content, if the rest chink as 1 chinks ‘Master Rat, it shall be best for you if we s0 do, ‘Ten shall you warm you and dres yourself too. 330 stray. cavers. Hodge, when I speak so fai, wile sill xy me mayt166 Gammer Gurton's Neele Visca picoon. Sofi st, take ws with you, the company shall be the more! ‘As provd comes behind, they say, as any goes before! But now, my good mates, since we must be gone, ‘And leave you behind us hee all alone: Since at our last ending thus merry we be us THE HONORABLE HISTORY OF FRIAR BACON AND FRIAR BUNGAY* ROBERT GREENE DRAMATIS PERSONA ang mm res niumD evita find ike mencunes EDWARD, FRINGE OF WALES, LAMBERT, his som smtsny, } £emlemen rurson oF omy Fro schon t Lomb me or nd Sry ey, Blof nc wason of angeld want Ea of Suse was’ ne Tun goon renunn, | Com downs unt soot he Kings Contam, rst, tox el ‘oom owe ee mun sicon amon dager tote Rng of tt, Por a's porsche Cate mar sont suacine, he eres dg got vaxoemsr Fes) oes peace pene boster taco | Dats of Ofnd onto Ba Sey sen, Tinucon setae ee [Scene 1. Falah) Biter rawcn nowann malonteted, with LACY, WARREN, ERMSEY, and natu simest, the Fool, tAcr. Why looks my lord like to 2 troubled sky ‘When heaven's bright shine is shadowed with a fog, asters, 1