CONNECT YOUR RELATIONSHIP
AFTER BABY(IES)
CARE FOR YOURSELF
Making time for yourself is an
essential first step. When you
attune to yourself, you are more
available for others.
Get to know your needs (sleep,
downtime, nutrition, quiet, movement,
social time, etc.). Value your
needs. Reach out and make
direct requests for your needs.
Reorganize, get creative and
outsource as you can.
Take 5 Love Languages quiz. Use
the results to increase the ways
you can love and care for
yourself. Treat Yourself!
BREAK IT DOWN
What did you do to take care
of yourself before? How can
that translate into 5 min, 15
min and 1 hour increments?
How did you connect in your
relationship before? How can
that translate into 5 min, 15
min and 1 hour increments?
GET SUPPORT
Talk with folks that can
support your relationship in
this new season: family,
counselor, clergy, etc.
jvieve@gmail.com
JENEVIEVE RUSSELL, MA, LPC, CD
CARE FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP
PUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP AT THE CENTER OF YOUR FAMILY
Little ones have many immediate needs that require our time and
energy, and they can quickly become (stay) the center of a family.
However, we know that a strong, stable relationship is the best
investment for everyone (especially kiddos). Be intentional and
make the commitments to put your relationship back at the center.
Don’t wait. Start now.
SAME TEAM
When we are stretched thin, we zoom-in on all we are doing.
Competition can set in. We can forget we are on the same team,
working together. Reorient toward each other. Assume positive
intent from your sweetheart, as much as possible.
A FEW PRACTICAL IDEAS
GOOD MORNING/HELLO & GOODNIGHT/GOODBYE RITUALS
Find a consistent, loving way to part and reunite at the beginning
and end of each day. Try a 6-second kiss or 20-second hug or
90-second intentional snuggle-time (science supports it!).
REGULAR CHECK-INS
Make a daily or weekly time to share and listen to each other.
* What’s going well? (lots of gratitude, compliments, appreciations)
* What is challenging? (time to vent, be heard, don not take it personally)
* What do I/we need? (get creative, solution focused, helping each other)
SCHEDULE INTIMACY
Not as much time for spontaneity, so put it on the calendar. Make
time for emotional sharing and physical closeness. Sexual
intimacy after baby takes time and vulnerability, be patient &
gentle, focus on connecting & enjoyment (instead of orgasm).
ATTEND RESEARCH-BASED “BRINGING BABY HOME” WORKSHOP
www.gottman.com/parents/new-parents-workshop/

www.NurturingStrategies.com 720.239.2347
 CONNECT YOUR RELATIONSHIP AFTER BABY(IES)
Suggested Reading of Interest*
Compiled by Jenevieve Russell, MA, LPC, CD
* Idea: some couples have done a ‘book club’ with each other - reading one chapter per week/month and sharing insights,
reflections and conversations with their sweethearts

Gottman, John “And Baby Makes Three: Six-step plan for preserving your marital intimacy and
rekindling romance after baby arrives”

Gottman, John “Eight Dates: Essential conversations for a lifetime of love”

Gottman, John “Seven Principles for Making a Marriage Work”

Johnson, Sue “Hold Me Tight: Seven conversations for a lifetime of love”

Kasl, Charlotte “If the Buddha Married: Creating enduring relationships on a spiritual path”

Kerner, Ian “She Comes First”

Kleiman, Karen “Tokens of Affection: Tools to strengthen your relationship through and after
postpartum depression”

Lerner, Harriet “Marriage Rules: Manual for the married and coupled up”

Miguel Ruiz, don “The Four Agreements”

Nagoski, Emily “Come as You Are: Surprising new science that will transform your sex life”

Perel, Esther “Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence”

Rosenberg, Marshall “Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy
Relationships”

Salvage, Jill “Is There Really Sex After Kids?”

Schnarch, David “Passionate Marriage: Keeping love and intimacy alive in committed relationships”

Schnarch, David “Resurrecting Sex”

Tatkin, Stan “Wired for Love” or “Wired for Dating” Understanding neurobiology and attachment

WANT MORE IDEAS OR SUPPORT?

20% off (1) 60min online couples consultation session
schedule by Feb 14, 2020. Use code “Birth Institute” in notes when scheduling
https://jenevieve.youcanbook.me