The Net Gain of Zero

The soaked up sweat in my sheets nearly drowned me, and before I could come to my
senses the weight of my alarm hit my ears like a drunk trucker. The sound of my alarms sang an
all too familiar mechanic tune.

“​Riiiiiiii-Riiiiii-Riiii-”

Stop.

As I arose from my temporary grave, and rushed to put on my uniform. The insignia
proudly stamped on my chest shined brighter than my future.
It proudly read: ​Alex Moore - Assistant mascot - Chuck E Cheese Ent.

Before I could seem to enter the castle of my dreams, out of the dark abyss of the
entrance, a thin letter was handed to me that read:

“Due to company Budget cuts, we have had to shorten our staff,

your last paycheck will be sent through mail.”

Nevermind. I was out of work, broke, and my bills were stacking up.

One ring. Two rings. Three rings. Clack!

“Chuck. E Cheese Entertainment how may we--”

“Yes, the name is Alex Moore, A as in apple, L as in limousine, E as in--”

Clack.

Nada. Nothing. Zip.

Before I could even begin to wallow in my profound sadness, the phone rang again.

Clack.

“ ​Helloooo​, this is Jeanne.”

“ Hey, I was calling in regards to my job?”

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 “ Job? ​Oneee​ second sweetie… Fran… Francesco Herling, is it ?”

“ No its Al--” I said in an attempt to correct her.

“Hold on one second, sweetheart.”

“…”

“Hello? Francesco, would you be available to meet… let's ​sayyy​ next thursday?”

Pause. I did not know this Francesco Herling. I had never met Francesco Herling, but if it
meant a chance at having my job back, I would become Francesco Herling.

As the words slowly forced their way out of my mouth, I exclaimed, “...Yes. Yes, of
course. Round what time?...and where?”

“Calendar​ ​sayyys​ ​5 o’clock, the office by 51st , so just swing on by honey,” she sweetly
replied.

“Sounds great! See you then.”

Clack.

I promised myself that evening, that I would donate all my old clothes to Goodwill in
order to make it up. As of now, I had an identity to steal.

“The day of” had arrived, armed with my finest armor and a tie borrowed from my father,
I was battle ready. My first obstacle on the battlefield presented itself in the form of an older
white woman.

She began, “​Heyyy​ ​honey, how may I help you?”

That battle cry was unmistakable, the hooded knight that sat before me on an Ikea desk,
was none other than Jeanne the secretary.

“Let me ​seee​.​..Francesco! Mr. Jones has been expecting you, down the hall to your left.”

2
 Time seemed to flow in between each step that I took, a walk that lasted no more than 20
seconds, suddenly felt like hours. As I entered the office, and looked around I realized three
things.

1. This meeting had nothing to do with my job as an Assistant Mascot.

2. Judging by his suit, I would get paid a lot more than I would working at Chuck. E.
Cheese
3. I would need to donate more than my old clothes to atone for what I was about to
do.
The train of thoughts in my head, flailed around as if missing a conductor, I was no
longer in control.

The mysterious figure started, “Mr. Herling?”

He continued, “Senator Jones, It’s a pleasure to finally meet you! The next legislative
session starts in about a month...and you know what they say! Politics do not wait for you to get
comfortable! I’ve been trying to pass this darn thing for three years, but this one is the one, I can
feel it!”

“No sir… not politics,” I awkwardly responded. “Do you mind if I record a voice memo,
to use later?”

Senator Jones’ smile shrunk with the speed of an ostrich, his hands stiffened and his eyes
locked onto me.

“I don’t mind, unless you plan to help the enemy.”

I managed to squeeze out a polite laugh, under the assumption that this was another one
of the congressman's jokes. His unbreaking gaze soon informed me that this was no laughing
matter. Getting ‘comfortable’ was the least of my worries. Over the next few hours, Senator
Jones scrupulously went over every small detail of his plan, every stop, every turn and every
bump.

Despite my sheer consternation, I was able to pick up on vital pieces of information.

“Iran, boom!” and, “22$ an hour plus benefits.”

“What?!” Seeming to realize that I had said that out loud, I shifted about my seat, so as to
find a position that would shield me from the wrath of the congressman.

3
 “Why, yes of course, that’s the next part of the plan, an authorization of force on Iran.”

Iran, boom!22$! Iran, boom…

As soon as I arrived home, I put on my headphones and deciphered every word in that
voice memo, every inflection, every insult. The same routine continued every day for the next
few weeks, I lived politics, I breathed politics and I became politics. My first paycheck, to my
standards, was big enough to put Donny T to shame. Everytime my motivation faltered, my
bi-weekly paycheck provided me with a solid reminder to keep working.

When the legislative session had arrived, or as Senator Jones liked to call it, “crunch
time,”our first problem was making sure that the bill did not die in committee. The committee in
question was the committee on Foreign Affairs. One quick search made it apparent that the
chairman was no angel. Something to do with his wife, but once again, none of my business. As
soon as the bill entered committee, Senator Jones gave me a sealed envelope to deliver directly
to the chairman of the Foreign Affairs committee. Immediately after I delivered that letter,
without fail, the bill emerged out of committee.

The real battle began, I was not allowed inside the Congress chamber but a direct feed of
the debate floor was being broadcasted in the miniscule office I was confined in.

“Senate Bill NO. 844, or the B.O.O.M Bill, a bill to effectively provide the U.S with
authorization of force against Iran.”

A wave of silence hit the room, followed by a multitude of gasps and exclamations, and
with that introduction the debate began.

“Proposed by Senator Jones of Iowa, Senator Jones you have the floor.”

Next up, the floor was opened to the rest of the Senate for debate.

Without hesitation, Senator Banders Sernie of Vermont took the stage and spewed
glittering generalities for the better half of an hour. Any attempt at justifying our cause was met
with a chorus of-

“Blasphemy!”

And other synonyms.

4
 Having exhausted his extensive vocabulary and developing a sore throat, the senator took
a seat and passed the baton to Senator Pand Raul of Kentucky. Our second adversary had a
different tactic in mind, out of the abyss of his suit, Senator Pand Raul pulled out a newly bought
copy of The Entire Works of Dr. Seuss. Each word was pronounced with enough passion to put a
professional rendition of Hamlet to shame, each page turned with elegance surpassing that of a
prima ballerina, each book told stories that these chamber walls had never heard of. This went on
for 8 hours.

A motion to cloture easily passed and the debate went on. Before the bill’s fate was voted
on by the entirety of the chamber, Senator Jones stepped up to give his final remarks.

“Beyond political strife, this bill was born out of the diaries of a soldier.” His voice
seemed to lower, “this soldier was my son...Now that he is no longer with us...I ask you once
again today, to make a decision that would end this godforsaken conflict and bring our boys back
home.”

The Bill was not passed. With a record breaking 1-Yea to 99- Nays, we had at least won
something. Following our tragic loss, I never saw Senator Jones again. Legend has it he is still
trying to pass that bill,
“Waste of time, waste of money, absolute net gain of zero.” As a polite laugh left the
mouth of the newly hired intern.
“All that is to say that time is money, so don’t waste mine--Once again the name is
Moore, Senator Moore, you can call me Alex. Looking forward to working with you!”

Short Story Rubric

Short Story Components Publishable Sophisticated Adequate Needs Unsatisfact-
Development ory

Style 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Author uses creative and Comments on Style: Especially at the beginning you have some really vivid
effective use of rhetorical and imagery, particularly around the sounds and feel of your setting - I’d like a
stylistic devices, the “Show, little more support from the dialogue but overall a lot of fun to read and your
Don’t Tell” technique, Point of
writing was the biggest contributing factor to that .
View, and dialogue to enhance
the reader’s experience.

Organization of Plot and 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Setting

5
Author effectively develops the Comments on Organization of Plot and Setting: There was a clear story arc
components of the short story and a lot of great moments, particularly, as I mentioned with the setting. A
arc (hook, exposition, inciting few points that would have aided understanding seemed rushed or as
action, rising action, climax,
though you could have chosen to focus on a slightly different aspect to move
falling action and insight).
Setting is distinguishable and
your reader to the climax of the story.
well developed. Plot and Setting
relate to government and
politics.

Character Development 10 9 8​ 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Author creates real, believable Comments on Character Development: I like your character a lot but we lose
characters, at least 2 of which him halfway through, how is his personality, his goals, etc. impacting or
work in government or politics, tangled up in this. We get a glimpse at the end but what does he learn/how
and captures a universal aspect
doe he grow from this?
of the human condition. The
main character’s conflict is clear
and likely causes/requires
change. Character is motivated
by a political catalyst, likely
presented in the inciting action.

Theme/Insight 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Author weaves through the plot Comments on Theme/Insight: Because your character/plot rushed in places
a recognizable and effective this was not as evident as you wanted it to be
theme that isn’t cliche. The
story’s ending type is
appropriate for the story’s genre
and story arc components.
The theme and insight should
be reflective of both political
knowledge and knowledge of
the human condition.

Short Story Component Publishable Sophisticated Adequate Needs Unsatisfact-

Development ory

Mechanics 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Author uses Times New Roman Comments on Mechanics:

or similar, 12 point font, one
inch margins, page numbers as
a footer, and includes a heading
and effective title on the first
page only. Author has no
spelling, grammar, punctuation,
or formatting mistakes. Dialogue
is properly punctuated and
capitalized and dialogue tags,

6
syntax and diction are varied.
Author either single spaces and
skips lines between paragraphs
or double spaces and indents
paragraphs and dialogue
(1000-1300 words).

_______ /50 Total Grade