The Ribbed Rubber

A Short Story
by John doe
John Biggins was thinking about Sonya Jolie
again. Sonya was a wild ogre with ample arms
and ginger eyebrows.
John walked over to the window and reflected
on his chilly surroundings. He had always loved
industrial Berlin with its teeny-tiny, tart tunnels. It
was a place that encouraged his tendency to
feel barmy.
Then he saw something in the distance, or
rather someone. It was the a wild figure of
Sonya Jolie.
John gulped. He glanced at his own reflection.
He was a rude, courageous, wine drinker with
curvaceous arms and hairy eyebrows. His
friends saw him as a mashed, mouldy muppet.
Once, he had even jumped into a river and
saved a vigorous baby flamingo.
But not even a rude person who had once
jumped into a river and saved a vigorous baby
flamingo, was prepared for what Sonya had in
store today.
The clouds danced like walking maggots,
making John happy. John grabbed a ribbed
rubber that had been strewn nearby; he
massaged it with his fingers.
As John stepped outside and Sonya came
closer, he could see the adorable smile on her
face.
"I am here because I want revenge," Sonya
bellowed, in an understanding tone. She
slammed her fist against John's chest, with the
force of 9130 toads. "I frigging love you, John
Biggins."
John looked back, even more happy and still
fingering the ribbed rubber. "Sonya, let's get
married," he replied.
They looked at each other with active feelings,
like two panicky, plastic pigeons sitting at a very
arrogant carol service, which had piano music
playing in the background and two malicious
uncles laughing to the beat.
John regarded Sonya's ample arms and ginger
eyebrows. He held out his hand. "Let's not fight,"
he whispered, gently.
"Hmph," pondered Sonya.
"Please?" begged John with puppy dog eyes.
Sonya looked unstable, her body blushing like a
teeny, tasteless torch.
Then Sonya came inside for a nice glass of
wine.
THE END