WORKSHOP

RESILIENCE

WITH DR. RICK HANSON, PH.D.

PSYCHOLOGIST & MEDITATOR

MentorBox

TELL US WHAT YOU THINK ON THE

FACEBOOK MENTORBOX MASTERMIND
 ABOUT THE WORKSHOP

This workshop will teach you how to increase your resilience by

cultivating 4 inner resources: compassion, grit, motivation, and
generosity. You will learn how to mindfully experience these inner
resources in your daily life, deepen your understanding of what they
are and how they function, and strengthen your neural pathways to
make these resources available to you every day.

ABOUT RICK

Dr. Rick Hanson is a psychologist and New York Times Bestselling

author of several books, including Buddha’s Brain: The Practical
Neuroscience of Happiness, Love & Wisdom, Hardwiring Happiness: The
New Brain Science of Contentment, Calm, and Confidence, and, most
recently, Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength,
and Happiness. His work is centered on psychological growth,
contemplative practice, and teaching the skills of personal well-being.
 INTRODUCTION:
GROWING INNER RESOURCES

It can be tempting to think of traits such as compassion, grit,

motivation, and generosity as fixed—either you have them or you
don’t—but these traits are inner resources that you can develop. In
the same way you would prepare for a hike by packing a backpack
with food, water, and a sweater, you can use mindfulness practices
to prepare for life’s challenges by using your brain to cultivate these
inner resources.

The stress-diathesis model is a fundamental psychological model that

analyzes your journey throughout a day (or your whole lives) through
the interplay of 3 factors and 3 locations. The 3 factors are 1) the
challenges a person experiences, 2) the way those challenges wear on
their vulnerabilities, and 3) the resources or inner strengths a person
can draw on to face their challenges. These challenges, resources, and
vulnerabilities are located in 3 locations: 1) the world, 2) the body,
and 3) the mind. To meet and surpass challenges, certain changes
have to occur. Changes to the body and the world can be hard to
achieve and are often beyond your control. The good news is that
you have tremendous influence over your mind, and the changes you
make impact every factor and location.
 LEARNING

Inner resources are like superpowers: they increase abilities, create

greater success, improve quality of life, and make you more effective.
Of all the inner resource superpowers at your disposal, the ability to
learn is the most powerful because it allows you to cultivate and grow
all of the other inner resources you desire.

Each time you learn something, it creates a lasting change in the

neural structure of your brain. Scientists call this phenomenon
“Experience-Dependent Neuroplasticity.” When you learn something
new, the neurons in your brain fire together and build a new path
specific to what you have learned.

These constant changes in the wiring of your brain allow you to have
a powerful influence over your own mind. When you mindfully stay
with and breathe into an experience, your neurons create stronger
pathways that you can return to in the future with greater ease.
For example, as you sit and meditate on the feeling of compassion,
your neurons start to build a stronger pathway back to that feeling,
rewiring your brain toward reexperiencing compassion.

Just as it is easier to drive somewhere without GPS once you pay

attention along the route, staying with the experience of an inner
resource you want to cultivate will help your mind find its way back
there again. Canadian psychologist Donald Hebb explains: “Neurons
that fire together wire together.” In other words, the more time
you give your neurons to work together and build the path to your
desired inner resource, the more readily you’ll be able to draw upon
that resource in the future.
 HEAL

Now that you have a better understanding of how your brain changes
through learning and mindfulness, how can you guide your brain to the
inner resources you want to grow? The HEAL acronym is a useful tool
to use on your journey. It stands for: Have, Enrich, Absorb, and Link.

HAVE

For your neurons to follow the path to a particular experience, you

must first have that experience so they can build the initial pathway.
The have in the HEAL acronym refers to the moments when you first
experience any inner resource, such as grit or compassion. It may be
the moment you feel the strength to finish a long run or when you
feel compassion toward a person in need. In these moments, your job
is to take note of the experience while you are having it so your brain
can strengthen the pathway to that feeling.

ENRICH

While experiencing one of the inner resources––enrich the experience

to strengthen that connection. A simple way to do this is to register
the way the experience feels in your body and create a lasting memory
of that physical sensation. Breathe into it. What sensations do you
feel? Taking the time to note these details in your mind will help you
return to that experience in the future.
 APPLICATION
ABSORB

Once you enrich your experience by noticing how it feels in your

body, you can then absorb it by considering what you find rewarding
about the experience. If you’ve felt a swell of generosity toward a
friend, make a mental note of the positive feelings you experience.
Spend a few minutes breathing into that positivity to help it make a
lasting impression on your brain.

LINK

An optional last step of the HEAL method is linking. Linking is the

process of being aware of a small negative experience and connecting
it to a bigger positive experience. If you pair a negative experience
that made you feel deflated or frustrated, such as receiving a negative
review on your latest work, with a bigger positive experience, like
a positive reception from your boss on your next presentation of
improved work, you can soothe the sting of the small negative
experience. Through time and repeated linking, you can replace the
negative material with positive.
 EXERCISE
INNER RESOURCES

There are 4 primary inner strengths that will help you to face
challenges and protect your vulnerabilities: compassion, grit,
motivation, and generosity.

COMPASSION

Compassion is the ability to see how something affects another

person and then respond with intention and kindness. The best place
to start building this inner resource is with yourself. By cultivating
compassion for yourself, you develop the ability to understand your
challenges and move on from them. This will create more space for
you to be compassionate toward others. Self-compassion helps people
bounce back from adversity, loss, trauma, and pursue big goals and
opportunities in their life because they can handle failure better.

Building self-compassion is often easier said than done. For many

people, it’s much easier to be compassionate to others than to
themselves. Fortunately, you can turn your compassion toward others
into compassion for yourself with 3 simple steps:

1. Focus on being cared for. Bring to mind the feeling of being cared
for by a person who is on your side. This might be a memory of being
held by a parent after you scraped your knee or the sensation you
had working with a boss who helped you navigate difficult challenges
with care and understanding. Whatever the memory, hold the feeling
in your body and mind for a few breaths to warm up the brain’s
compassion circuitry.
 APPLICATION
COMPASSION

2. Focus on caring. Now bring to mind a person or persons who are

burdened.Think of the people whose challenges and suffering move
you and hold that feeling for a few concentrated breaths. You might
think of refugees fleeing their homes, or a friend navigating their way
through a difficult breakup. Allow your mind and body to become
familiar with the sensation of caring that you feel as you think about
another’s suffering.

3. Turn this feeling of compassion toward yourself. Activate a

feeling of warmth and friendliness for yourself. See what it’s like to
give yourself that type of kindness and compassion. Focus on taking
it in and registering the feelings of compassion in your body for a
few breaths.

This practice will take time because our brains have a negativity bias.
They are hardwired to learn more quickly from negative experiences
than positive ones. You can counteract this imbalance by tilting
toward kindness and compassion for yourself and by mindfully
registering positive experiences.
 EXERCISE
GRIT

Resilience is about thriving, not just surviving, and continuing to

pursue your goals in the face of challenges. Grit is one of the key
strengths that supports resilience over the long haul. It’s the ability to
push just a little further than you thought you could, increase your
agency, and tap into your fierce, deep desire to survive. When you
consciously internalize your experiences of grit, you produce lasting
physical changes in your nervous system that transition you from
states of grit to the trait of grit.

AGENCY

To cultivate grit, start by recognizing the times when you’re a hammer

rather than a nail, or a cause rather than an effect. When you make
something happen instead of letting it happen to you––that’s
exercising agency. Agency is the core of grit: it is the fundamental
belief that no matter what the circumstance, there is always
something you can do to have an impact.

As you go through your day, identify these moments of grit and

take time to sit with them. Did you choose not to have french fries
with your burger? That’s your agency in action. Did you volunteer
to present at a meeting? That’s another exercise of your agency. Did
you run an extra mile? That’s your grit working hard. By taking note
of the moments when you use your agency you’ll help create neural
pathways back to that sense of grit. The next time you want to push
yourself further, you’ll already have the confidence from your previous
experiences and an inherent understanding of how to do so.
 APPLICATION
GRIT & YOUR BODY

As you cultivate grit and a greater sense of agency, be aware of

potential burnout. Work to build up your initial reserves of grit
so that you don’t become depleted. Grit is the inner resource most
associated with our physical selves, and it can be easy to use the grit
you’re cultivating, and unintentionally push your body too far. This
tendency reflects a greater trend in our relationship to our bodies: we
commonly treat our bodies with less care and understanding than
they deserve, but if we don’t care for our bodies, they cannot support
us. Consider how you care for your body. Do you have a sense of
friendliness toward it? Do you accept it? It’s hard to take good care of
your body if you are critical or resentful of it.

To combat this behavior, it’s important to cultivate acceptance

of your body. Start by understanding what it’s like to accept
something as it is. For example, accept the fact that the faucet
is dripping in your bathroom, even though you’d like it to stop.
Now, systematically go through your body and accept each part.
Start with your feet and work your way up to the top of your skull.
Note the parts of your body that are hard to accept and continue
moving through each body part. Pay attention and internalize the
way accepting your body feels. It’s a common misconception that
acceptance leads to complacency––the opposite is true. When
we accept the way things are, we don’t resist reality as much. This
gives us observations and resources we can apply to help improve
a situation. Think about it: you can’t fix the faucet if you can’t
acknowledge that it’s leaking.
 HARNESSINGEXERCISE
NATURAL FIERCENESS

Deep down, we all know how to harness our grit to fight our way out
of difficult or dangerous situations. This is our natural fierceness. It’s
the part of every person that’s still connected to their wildness and
animal instincts. It’s the quality that kicks in if you get lost in the
woods and need to call upon hidden reserves to find your way back
home. As with all of your inner resources, you can develop greater
access to your natural fierceness by consciously internalizing the
moments when your fierceness emerges. When you are playing soccer
and feel a sudden sense of power and kick the ball all the way down
the field, stay with that feeling of intensity and allow your body and
brain to create a lasting memory of it. As you register these memories
and pay attention to the accompanying feelings, you create stronger
neural pathways and begin to incorporate more fierceness and grit
into your natural state of being.
 APPLICATION
MOTIVATION

Motivation pulls you forward along the path toward your goals.
When you need a reason to keep going, motivation is the inner
resource you can call upon to navigate through challenges with
resilience. Effective motivation identifies healthy motivators and
harnesses the brain’s natural hardwiring.

LIKING VS. WANTING

Our motivational machinery resides within our brain. Deep in the

subcortex of the brain are tiny nodes that regulate “liking” distinct
from “wanting.” It’s possible to like something without getting
caught up in “problematic wanting.” Problematic wanting is what
happens when we feel overly pressured, intense, or addictive cravings
for something and get pulled toward that object of desire without
discernment or mindfulness. The good news is that your brain can
recognize the difference between wanting and liking, and you can use
mindfulness practices to identify and cultivate positive motivations.

We’ve all experienced the difference between pursuing something that

creates positive sensations and inspires our best work, and pursuing
something that creates anxiety and stress. You can increase your
positive motivational experiences by becoming more mindful when
you are “liking” something without chasing or clinging by “wanting”
it. Notice this sensation and use it to strengthen your neural networks
and make this feeling a home base to return to. Over time, rather
than feeling motivated by pressure or stress, your natural motivations
will shift to reflect the structural changes of your brain.
 EXERCISE
BEFORE, DURING, AFTER

Just as you can learn to want in a healthy way, you can also learn to
want healthier things. To motivate yourself to choose behaviors that are
good for you, even if you don’t naturally want to choose them, imagine
some of the rewards that will come from regularly choosing this better
option. Think of the rewards that will come from regularly exercising,
eating healthy foods, and not drinking too much alcohol. You’ll feel
healthy, fit, and proud for keeping a high standard for yourself.

Start by imagining some of the rewards you’ll experience when you

finish your good behavior––this will make it easier to begin. The
rewards you imagine could be as simple as a refreshing shower after
a run, or as lasting as long-term good health from a balanced diet.
Imagining the rewards and how they feel, while also visualizing
yourself doing the good activity you want to motivate yourself
toward, will strengthen your resolve. While you’re engaged in the
good behavior, consider what is enjoyable and meaningful about it.
Afterward, look back and take a breath to savor your accomplishment.
This before, during, and after process will strengthen the positive
neural pathways in your brain and give you increased motivation for
your chosen positive behaviors.
 APPLICATION
WANTING WITHOUT STRESS

The last part of cultivating positive motivation is learning to work on

goals without attaching to your expectations of the outcome. This can
be challenging because concrete goals provide terrific motivation, but
it is important to practice this non-attachment because being stressed
about results makes it harder to achieve your goals. Instead of feeling
attached to an outcome, focus on the experience of working toward a
goal. Change your definition of success from a set outcome to simply
trying your best and moving past what you previously achieved.
Think of success as a daily commitment––if you can be 1% better
today than you were yesterday, you’ve succeeded.
 EXERCISE
GENEROSITY

Authentic generosity feels good, and as you are able to give more
freely and sincerely, more will come back to you. This is true across all
aspects of your life, from relationships to work and beyond. One of
the most important ways to exercise generosity is through forgiveness.
When you forgive others, you give them the space to move on, find
closure and grow. This also creates space for the same experience of
closure within your own life.

FORGIVENESS

There are 2 kinds of forgiveness: Full Pardon and Disentangled.

In Full Pardon Forgiveness, you fully release the person who has
wronged you from their burden, and totally wipe the slate clean. Full
Pardon Forgiveness is challenging, and is often reserved for closer
relationships or people who have truly earned a fresh start.

Disentangled Forgiveness is when you let go of resentment without

necessarily forgetting what happened or intending to foster a deeper
relationship with the person who harmed you. In some cases, it can
lead to Full Pardon Forgiveness over time.

To begin the process of forgiveness, you must first acknowledge

what happened––you won’t be able to forgive them if you pretend
the harm didn’t happen. Next, you must recognize the personal
cost of holding on to your resentment and anger. Anger can feel
tremendously good and we would often prefer to sit and stew in our
anger rather than let it go. If you’re trying to achieve forgiveness, you
must release your anger. One way to do this is to consider the toll anger
and resentment takes by occupying your mind and time with negative
feelings and distracting thoughts.
 APPLICATION
FORGIVING OTHERS

The next step in the forgiveness process is to find compassion for the
person who harmed you. This doesn’t mean approving of or agreeing
with their actions. It’s a recognition of the person’s suffering and
a sincere wish that they were not suffering. Compassion for those
who have wronged you makes you less upset about it: it’s a calming,
soothing gift to yourself. When you forgive, you are released from the
weight of the resentment you’ve been carrying around.

At this stage, you have only experienced Disentangled Forgiveness,

and may not be able to forget what transpired. If you want to
expand to Full Pardon Forgiveness, think about what caused the
person you are forgiving to act the way they did. Imagine the other
person as a being who has been influenced by a vast number of
events in their life.

If a neighbor damaged a piece of your property and was slow to

repair the damage, rather than holding on to your anger, you might
imagine all of the different challenges that prevented them from
stepping up and taking responsibility. Perhaps they are tight on
money, or perhaps their health is diminishing. Considering the
bigger picture and taking a bird’s eye view activates neural networks
that pull you out of ruminative resentment, calm you down, and
return you to the present moment. To move into Full Pardon
Forgiveness, combine this perspective with a recollection of your
own genuine, natural lovingness.
 EXERCISE
SELF-FORGIVENESS

Self-forgiveness can be as challenging as self-compassion. When

you reflexively lash out at yourself with self-criticism, it wears you
down instead of making you more moral or successful. The process
of self-forgiveness employs many of the same tools used in forgiving
someone else. Begin by honestly acknowledging what happened:
take responsibility for your part. Next, bring compassion to yourself.
Take a bird’s eye view and acknowledge any suffering that may
have impacted your actions. Then allow yourself to experience
an appropriate level of remorse, regret, guilt, or shame that is in
proportion to what happened. Feeling remorse for your actions allows
you to move on. Now make amends, being sure to act for yourself
rather than trying to win others’ approval. Finally, deliberately and
consciously tell yourself that you fully forgive yourself.
 APPLICATION
CONTINUED PRACTICE

As you work to grow the inner resources of compassion, grit,

motivation, and generosity, remember that the process is a gradual
one. Every time that you consciously sit inside of the experience of
one of these resources and internalize it, you help your brain and
body repeat this experience more easily in the future. Over time, these
small experiences will add up to big changes in the quality of your life
and the inner resources you have at your disposal.
 EXERCISE
QUESTIONS & EXERCISES

What do you feel are your greatest inner resources? Learning?

Compassion? Grit? Motivation? Generosity?

Which inner resources feel less available to you?

Briefly describe 4 ways you’ve experienced compassion recently. Did

anything in particular strike you about these experiences? How did
they feel in your body?
 APPLICATION
QUESTIONS AND EXERCISES

What are 4 ways you could be more compassionate in your work life?

1.

2.

3.

4.

What are 4 ways you could be more compassionate in your personal life?
1.
2.

3.

4.

Think of 4 ways you’ve been generous to your friends. How did those
moments of generosity help you in your work or personal life?

Pick 1 inner resource you’d like to cultivate and use the HEAL
acronym to track it over the course of 2 weeks. Take notes of the
experiences you have, how you enrich them, how you absorb them,
and how you link them.
 EXERCISE
YOU’VE MADE IT!

CONGRATULATIONS!

YOU’VE COMPLETED THIS WORKSHOP

You’ve learned to mindfully engaging with your

experiences of compassion, grit, motivation, and
generosity. You’ll be able to strengthen the neural
pathways that support these traits, and enrich your life
and the lives of those around you.

MentorBox

Love our Online Content?

Check out our
Physical Subscription Boxes
at mentorbox.com/box

Follow us!
@mentorboxonline