www.oregonautismevaluations.

com
10300 SW Greenburg Road, Suite 210 Phone: 971-777-5117
Portland, Oregon 97223 Fax: 503-206-7596

Autism Evaluation Services

Interest/Waitlist Form
Please complete this form and return it either by email (info@oregonautismevaluations.com)
or fax (503-206-7596) to be considered for an ASD evaluation.

SHOBA MACINTYRE SAMUEL

PERSON TO BE EVALUATED VAIRAIKIAM

SHOBA MACINTYRE (SHORT)

DATE OF BIRTH 4 SEPTEMBER 1982

DATE FORM COMPLETED 3RD JUNE 2020

PERSON COMPLETING THIS FORM SHOBA MACINTYRE

+60178959144
PHONE NUMBER

EMAIL shobappdpapar@gmail.com

Please provide as much as information as you believe is relevant.

Reason for evaluation?
(E.g. Why are you concerned about an autism spectrum disorder?)

Self-diagnosed myself as someone on the high-functioning autism and or ADHD

spectrum. Since your country is the most advanced, I believe, in autism and ADHD
research…and I found your profile while doing research….i’ve decided to contact
you.

My symptoms include hyperactivity, meltdowns, anxiety, sensitivity to certain

sounds and visuals, I have been told many times I don’t think like normal people
would approach something, and that has created a lot of problems for me. I have
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coordination problems but do fairly well when music is present. Kickboxing and
other activities that involve coordination is so difficult to do and I end up exhausting
my mind to keep up with the steps.

Some people have mentioned I might have aspergers because I’m very direct in my
approach and my speech patterns can be limited. I try to do creative writing to
overcome this, something my dad who was an English teacher, taught me to do as a
child. My mom on the other hand taught me to love the world, be forgiving and not
so fixed minded and to hug the world. I used to hate that really. I don’t actually like
to hug or touch people. And I hate being touched, mostly because I have a weird
immune system and get sick easily. This also exhausts me. My dad taught from
young to be reflective, to use my brain for good. But really, my decision making and
thought processes are simple…everything is black and white, you know?

I was conditioned since young to behave in a way that was acceptable to society
and so that I would fit in. The older I get…this is becoming more exhausting to do. I
work as a coach and I am actually sociable. I give talks/workshops to other teachers
and students – that is part of my profession. And I like it. I produce thinking tools
that are sometimes ahead of some people’s understanding and that has created
problems for me too..

I don’t look the part for most of the time….recently I even went through a makeover
so I could be seen a little more for who I am on the inside. I don’t like combing my
hair and my personal hygiene is an issue to people….ive been called a hobo or a
hippie or homosexual for not being feminine enough …..finding normal has been a
lifelong journey really. And….it’s tiring.

When people cant explain my experiences….they call me a liar….when people don’t

believe I have what it takes to come up with thinking tools because of the way I look
or behave….they call me liar. Very few friends know im gifted and I get obsessed
over research. Things that I cant talk about because some people have called me
demon possessed or a witch. This also makes me tired because I don’t know why my
brain works this way. And yes, I have friends, who can vouch on this. Incase you’re
judgemental too, which I have no idea if you are and please don’t get offended if im
thinking far ahead of the outcomes. Im just tired.

I was always taught growing up to defy my own nature and habits but I would really
like to be myself now. Im tired. I have had trouble maintaining eye contact unless im
focused on something in my mind and I start to stare…..that has also caused me
problems because people have accused me for all sorts of things. Im tired.

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 Im tired of going home to an empty house so I can just be myself, have my
meltdowns and appreciate the silence. I had trouble understanding social cues when I
was a child, so my father taught me how to profile people. But the ability to profile
people has created more problems for me, because some people are impressed while
others think only psychopaths and sociopaths do that. But I find it difficult really
because im able to see the layers in people, especially when people lie, and you cant
ousts their lie. So im caught between exposing people and being exposed for going
along with it. I mean where do we draw the line actually? People lie or fake things
because they either want to cover up something or want to get things their way
through manipulation. So I find myself having to make decisions that eat me up on
the inside. That’s one of the reasons why I appreciate living alone. Cause when I
come home I get to dump it out as much as possible and whatever remains inside I
guess effects my liver and blood pressure.

In the 80’s, in Malaysia, people didn’t understand that the autism spectrum was
wide. In order for one to be diagnosed as autistic and or ADHD, you would have to
‘be’ a certain way. I remember this conversation when I young that my aunt had with
my mom…and she said shoba has some weird behaviours – referring to me closing
my ears.

My teachers and people around me would say I was different but they didn’t know
what was different. Neither did I until, as a teacher, and in my 30’s I discovered
research on autism and ADHD. My sister used to make fun of me growing up when I
closed my ears when I heard or saw certain things on the television or around me – I
still do, so I tend to spend my time alone. I go to the cinema alone because I would
have to control myself from closing my ears if I were with other people.

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 Why are you currently pursuing an evaluation?

Because I’m tired of living this way and I want to experience freedom without
judgement from people. I’m sharing with you a post.

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 Some of these people have known me from childhood and this post didn’t
come as a surprise to them….it didn’t come as a surprise to them… maybe it’s
just some I’ve met in life….

And yet it hasn’t freed me because im hung up and live my life based on the
words and decisions others make - towards me. And I feel trapped. Someone
once told me I had a multiple personality disorder because of the ‘acceptable’
character I put out there….but the real me isn’t really accepted…in fact most
of the time its silenced….for three reasons….1) I’ve met people who told me
that I have achieved enough in life and should not need for more – therefore
there is no need to apply my intelligence and go further in life 2) because I
have no problem in telling some people exactly what I think about them. And
was told I needed Xanax because I was bipolar. 3) I can only be sweet and
kind but never a person who gets angry etc. Because that equals to bipolar or
some other psychological dilemma.

Ive met some horrible people in my life and the only reason why they can say
and do what they want is because they’re just plain old bullies and do it to
justify themselves….or so I’ve learned from watching the latest series in
Dynasty. I also memorize and repeat movie scripts which I was told was not
normal….and it turns out hey! There’s a whole bunch of people who do it
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 too….to me…people who do this are normal and actually fun.

So yeah, this is me fighting for me….I’m also physically sick….have problems

with my liver, hypertension, constipation and bowel issues, PCOS etc thanks to
my bottomless pit of a tummy. I have eating disorders. I eat when im sad and I
never feel full until I actually get to the point of throwing up.

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 This is me doing the best for me.

What questions are you hoping an evaluation will answer?

I don’t know you. I chose you because of what your name

represents to me. I see things in numbers but I don’t want to be
one of those crystal ball people or self-proclaimed prophets. In
this aspect, I would really like to be seen as normal because inside
I’m a complexed wreck. But im done by living my life this way,
shackled, trapped almost. With respect, this might be a waste of
my time and money but I’m open to the possibilities.

Answer questions about myself so I can share about it with others

who may be going through what I am.
I guess I already know who I am and what I am….and I believe in
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myself. All I can think of is this….having a doctor’s letter just
shuts the mouths of people. And even if they did have more to
say, then well, I wouldn’t be bothered really past that. The
evaluation is what I need to set myself free.

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Is there any other information that you want to share with us
regarding setting up this evaluation?

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