I.S.P. “Dr J. V.

González”
Pablo Osuna - Language I “I”

Open Relationships: Not All That Glitters Is Gold

In modern times, relationships are not what they used to be. Up until a few
decades ago, Western culture had regarded monogamy as the only socially accepted
form of relationship. However, this is no longer the case, with an ever increasing
amount of people broadening their horizons and embracing new types of intimacy. A
discussion on these alternatives and their impact on the success or failure of a
relationship will be presented in this essay.

A research conducted by psychologist Jennifer Rubin et al estimates that

roughly five percent of relationships in the United States are non-monogamous.
Further, even more people are interested in the concept, as shown by a study
described in Psychology Today in 2014. This study found that between 23 and 40
percent of men and between 11 and 22 percent of women are curious to try non-
monogamous relationships.

As one may expect, not all non-monogamous relationships are created equal.
There is an important distinction to be made between sexually non-exclusive
relationships, often referred to as “open” relationships, and polyamorous
relationships. The former are intimate relations in which both parties have decided to
grant each other the possibility of taking on additional sexual partners.

Polyamory, on the other hand, has been defined by psychologist Liz Powell as
“the practice of, or desire for, having a loving and/or intimate relationship with more
than one person at a time, with the consent of all people involved.” Moreover, sex
educator Davia Frost notes that “often people who are polyamorous see it as being
an integral part of their identity.” Polyamorous relationships are, according to multiple
sources, just as valid as monogamy, because they are based on mutual love and
communication.

Alternatives notwithstanding, the overwhelming majority of people still choose

monogamous relationships, which may not come as a shock when you consider the

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I.S.P. “Dr J. V. González”
Pablo Osuna - Language I “I”
downsides of these non-monogamous options. “Non-monogamy can exacerbate pre
existing personal issues and issues in the relationship,” Powell claims. Hence, only
after thorough consideration can this subject be brought up with a partner. Even the
mere act of wanting to discuss the possibility of opening the relationship to new
sexual partners can spell disaster if it is not handled properly.

To make matters worse, new feelings could potentially arise for these sexual
partners. Whether one promises not to fall in love, we are far from able to control who
we fall for. The risk of losing your relationship to a lover is very real: we are attracted
to shiny new things, and this can easily mean the downfall of any relationship, no
matter how loving and committed it may be.

Even if everyone manages to keep feelings to a minimum while enjoying their

time with their lovers, jealousy is an ever present beast, and one that requires the
utmost care. Communication is key to overcome any jealous fits that may come up,
but even then it can be devastating.

In conclusion, while monogamy can certainly be complicated and

monogamous relationships take work from both parties, they have been the norm in
Western societies for millenia for a reason. On the other hand, open relationships
can definitely be satisfying and emotionally nourishing for everyone involved.
Nevertheless, it is my opinion that they are troublesome from their conception and
should generally be avoided in order to have a healthy and stress-free relationship.