JUSTINE JOHN D.

JERAO 07/24/19

UNDERSTANDING THE SELF

As a human being, of course, we all have fears. Some of us has a fear of heights, fear of
animals etc. Some have minor fears and some have a major fears. I fear of failing, especially
when I fail my parents’ expectations. That feeling that you have to excel in every aspect of what
you are doing, you must do it right and you must do well or if not good, it should be better or
best. The feeling of having a parents like this is common on us, we look as if it is normal already
for us, many says that is just a typical parent wanting their kids to be a successful person
someday. But this expectations of them, they don’t know that it causes fear to their kids.

Fear of failure. Fear of having get disappointed when you didn’t get what they want and
this may lead to anxiety and depression, also may lead to death or suicide because they are
scared to tell their parents that they failed. Luckily for those children who have understanding
parents, unlike for those who have strict and high standards and a shallow understanding
parents.

I fear also of losing someone, especially if that someone is really close to me like my
family, my mama and papa, I’m scared that maybe someday they are gone and I was not able
to bring back or give back all the sacrifices they have done for me in return. Even though my
parents are more likely to what I said in the first paragraph, still they are my parents, I’m not
here if it was not because of them. Losing them is my biggest fear. Losing them is like losing my
self-drowning into the water. That’s a different type of pain I never want to endure. The fact is
someday they are all gone because that is life, but I hope at least before they vanished this
world, I able to pay in return all the sacrifices and efforts that they poured to me.

It may sound cringey, but I have this fear of falling in love to the wrong person. I honestly
easily to get attached to one person if that person really mean to me. I’m the type of person that
give all the efforts and breaking the rules my own rules and also my parents’ rules just to be with
you. Yes that’s me. I fear of getting hurt at the end, knowing that I did all my best and it was not
enough for her. My past relationship was a tragic for me that makes me a stone cold person that
for now if whoever gonna come then I will welcome it. Maybe I am used to it. Not being
consistent and I always think that im not enough and replaceable.