Positive and Negative Effects of Coping with Stress

Stress management starts with categorizing the sources of stress in your life. It is not as easy as
it sounds. Your true sources of stress are not always noticeable, and it is all too easy to overlook
your own stress-inducing thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Sure, you may know that you’re
constantly worried about work deadlines. But maybe it’s your procrastination, rather than the
actual job demands, that leads to deadline stress.

To categorize your true sources of stress, look thoroughly at your habits, attitude, and excuses:

 Do you expound away stress as momentary (“I just have a million things going on right
now”) although you can’t really recall the last time you took a break?

 Do you define stress as an essential part of your work or home life (“Things are always
crazy around here”) or as a part of your personality (“I have a lot of nervous energy,
that’s all”).

 Do you blame your stress on other people or outside events, or view it as entirely
normal and unexceptional?

Up until you agree to take the obligation for the role you play in making or sustaining it,
your stress level will continue outside your control.

 Reflect about the ways you currently manage and cope with stress in your life.
Are your coping tactics healthy or unhealthy, helpful or unproductive? Sadly,
most people cope with stress in ways that compound the predicament.

List of Unhealthy Ways of Coping with Stress:

(These coping tactics may momentarily lessen stress, but they cause more harm in the long
run.)

 Smoking
 Drinking too much
 Overeating or undereating
 Zoning out for hours in front of the TV or computer
  Withdrawing from friends, family, and activities
 Using pills or drugs to relax
 Sleeping too much
 Procrastinating
 Filling up every minute of the day to avoid facing problems
 Taking out your stress on others (lashing out, angry outbursts, physical violence)

Healthier Ways to Manage Stress

The Four A’s: Avoid, Alter, Adapt and Accept

 Avoiding the Stressor

Don’t hesitate to say no. When trying to avoid unnecessary stress, don’t hesitate to say
no to additional responsibilities. Taking on more than you can handle will only increase
your stressful state.

Limit exposure. Limiting contact with individuals who induce stress may also be
constructive. If someone is emotionally draining, you may want to avoid excessive
communication with that person.

Be mindful of your environment. Take control of your environment. If traffic renders

high levels of stress, take a less-travelled route; if the watching the news results in
anxiety, turn the television off.

Avoid ‘hot-button’ issues. If talking religion or politics creates tension, avoid those
discussions altogether. If you’re with someone who always brings up heated topics,
suggest a change in subject matter.

Cut down on the list. If you notice that your ‘to-do list’ appears overwhelming, it
probably is. Trim away unnecessary tasks and responsibilities and only focus on what
you need to accomplish.

 Alter the Stressor

 Express yourself. If you can’t avoid a situation entirely, try to express your feelings
verbally, instead of keeping them bottled up inside. Resentment will only continue to
grow if feelings are not voiced.

Be ready to compromise. If you ask someone to alter their behavior, be willing to do the
same until a middle ground is reached.

Be assertive. Try to confront your problems right away; try your best to anticipate
stressful conflicts and prevent them. If someone is trying to get together and you have
to meet a deadline, don’t be shy to decline the invitation.

Manage your time. If you plan ahead, you won’t have to worry about feeling
overloaded with work, and you can complete the project without having to worry about
last minute details.

 Adapt to the Stressor

Reframe conflicts. Try to view the problem in a more positive light; find the ‘good within
the bad.’
See the big picture. Scrutinize the stressful situation and weigh how important it really
is. Will this problem still matter in a month? How about a year? If it’s not worth the
distress and the problem won’t be relevant in the long run, move forward.
Adjust standards. Try to avoid perfectionism. If you set reasonable standards for
yourself and other individuals, you won’t feel as stressed and disappointed.
Hone in on the positive. When the stress is bringing you down, try to take a moment to
reflect on all the positivity in your life. What is going right for you right now? What do
you really appreciate? These strategies will help keep your mind in perspective.

 Accept the Stressor

Let the uncontrollable be. Sadly, you have to accept what you cannot change; try not to
attempt to control the uncontrollable. Since you can’t control the actions or behavior of
others, try to focus on what you can control, such as choosing your own reactions to
stressful circumstances.
Look for growth opportunities. Focus on the upside of the stressor, and embrace the
notion that ‘what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.’ How can you grow from this
experience; what have you learned?
Share feelings with others. It may help to vent to a close friend, family member, or even
a therapist. Even if you can’t alter the situation, it can be cathartic to express your
feelings.
Forgive. Accept that people make mistakes, but try to let go of any anger or resentment
you may feel. When you free yourself of negative energy, the easier it will be to move
forward.
http://www.helpguide.org/articles/stress/stress-management.htm
http://psychcentral.com/lib/better-management-of-stress-and-its-effects/