Bal Natu - Glimpses of The God-Man, Meher Baba Vol V (1987)

GLIMPSES of the GOD-MAN
MEHER BABA
i
Avatar Meher Baba
in a railway compartment at Vijayawada
on the last day of His Andhra Darshan Tour
March 4, 1954
ii
GLIMPSES
of the
GOD-MAN
MEHER BABA
VOLUME V
(JANUARY 1 - MARCH 6, 1954)
BAL NATU
Sheriar Press
iii
©Copyright 1987, Avatar Meher Baba Perpetual Public Charitable Trust,
Ahmednagar, M. S., India.
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced, translated, or transmitted in any
form without permission in writing from the Avatar Meher Baba Perpetual
Public Charitable Trust, King's Road, Ahmednagar, M. S. 414001, India,
excepting brief quotes embodied in critical articles and reviews.
Cover drawing of Meher Baba in Cannes, 1937, by Rano Gayley.
©Copyright 1987, Avatar Meher Baba Perpetual Public Charitable Trust.
Printed in the United States of America by Sheriar Press, Inc., 3005
Highway 17 ByPass North, Myrtle Beach, South Carolina 29577.
Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Data:
Natu, Bal, 1919-
Glimpses of the God-Man, Meher Baba.
Vol. 2 published in Bombay, India by Meher House

Publications.
Vol. 3 published in Myrtle Beach, S.C. by Sheriar Press.
Includes bibliographical references.
1. Meher Baba, 1894-1969. 2. Religious biography—India.
I. Title.
BP610.M432N37 1977 299'.93 [B] 79-913293

ISBN 0-913078-44-1 (Sheriar: pbk.: v. 3)
Books by the same author:
Glimpses of the God-Man, Meher Baba

Vol. I (1943-1948)
Vol. II (Jan. 1949-Jan. 1952)
Vol. III (Feb. 1952-Feb. 1953)
Vol. IV (February-December 1953)
Vol. V (January 1-March 6, 1954)
Books compiled by the same author:
Avatar Meher Baba Bibliography

1927 to February 1978
Our Constant Companion
Showers of Grace
iv
To the Loving
and Abiding Presence
of the God-Man,
Meher Baba
v
vi
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
First things first: my deepest gratitude to Avatar Meher Baba

for the blessed opportunity given me in sharing His life stories
with others.
It is my pleasurable duty to gratefully acknowledge the
permission given by the Chairman, Avatar Meher Baba Trust, to
reprint published material, the copyright of which is totally
vested with the Avatar Meher Baba Perpetual Public Charitable
Trust, Ahmednagar, India. For the same reason, my thanks are
also due to the Universal Spiritual League in America, Inc.;
Avatar's Abode Trust, Woombye, Queensland., Australia;
Meher Baba Foundation, Beacon Hill, N.S.W., Australia; Jean
Adriel and the Beguine Library, Berkeley, California, U.S.A.; to
Rano Gayley for the drawing of Meher Baba used on the cover;
and to Sri A. K. Kasthuri for Meher Baba's picture used as a
frontispiece.
My sincere thanks to the late Francis Brabazon for various
quotes taken from his books; to Darwin Shaw for his permission
to use the excerpt from his article, "A Birthday Remembrance";
to Josephine Esther Ross for her poem; to K. K. Ramakrishnan
for his "Reminiscences" published in Divya Vani; to Keshav
Nigam for his notes; to Filis Frederick, the editor of "The
Awakener"; to Mrs. Freiny Nalavala, the editor of "Glow
International"; and also to Sheriar Press, Inc. for publishing this
book: Glimpses of the God-Man, Meher Baba, Vol. V.
Kishan Singh was allowed to accompany Baba on His
darshan visits in February 1954 to Hamirpur District and
Andhra. At Baba's instruction he kept a diary of the events of
these tours and this was my main source for checking dates,
incidents and messages. It was a Baba joke that when I was
looking for this diary, I most unexpectedly received a Xeroxed
copy of it through Bruce Ecker of Berkeley, California, U.S.A.;
my earnest thanks to the late Kishan Singh and also to Bruce.
vii
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
It is always a great delight to acknowledge debts and record our

heartfelt thanks to friends who have helped in finishing any
project. In this case for the account of Meher Baba's Hamirpur
visit, my cordial thanks go to R. S. Singh Baghel, Janak Singh,
and the Nigams. For reporting of Meher Baba's visit to Andhra,
I am indebted to Y. Manikyala Rao, B. Bhaskara Raju, V. Rama
Rao, Chinta Sarva Rao, A. V. Raghavulu, Najoo Kotwal and
others. There are some good friends who preferred to remain
unnamed, so I silently extend my warm thanks to them all.
It is very hard for me to express sufficiently my deep and
hearty thanks to Steve Klein who very cheerfully helped me
over a period of three years in preparing this volume. Steve
assisted me in every aspect—compiling and verifying
information, correspondence, tape recording stories from Baba
lovers, and the full editing process. From the first draft, through
the additions and deletions, to the final version, he unstintingly
typed and retyped. For the enormous task which he undertook,
my Baba-size thanks to Steve.
Steve's wife, Daphne Klein, meticulously proofread the final
text, and suggested important stylistic changes. I feel indebted
to her for this help rendered in Baba's love. My special thanks
also to Meredith Klein, Laurel Magrini, and Mark Keller for
their loving assistance during various phases of work on this
volume.
Eruch Jessawala personally read and made important
suggestions for the manuscripts of the earlier four volumes of
Glimpses. This time, because of his vision problems, he
graciously agreed to listen to the text as Steve Klein read it out
to him. I am grateful to Eruch for his most appropriate and
useful suggestions, comments, and corrections; and especially
for his loving encouragement and valuable guidance to me
throughout my writing.
Last, but never the least, I feel greatly indebted to many Baba
lovers who, through letters and conversation, have expressed
their appreciation of the messages and stories from Baba's life
recorded in earlier volumes of Glimpses. I was delighted to
learn that these books, in providing a focus on
viii
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Beloved Baba, have become companions to many: some like to

read a few minutes each morning; some during their lunch
break; a few groups read out several pages at their weekly Baba
meetings; and still others like to end their day by browsing
through some "glimpses" before retiring. These comments
cheered my spirit.
I must conclude, as I began, by trying to express my
wholehearted salutations to the One residing in the hearts of His
dear ones with whom I attempt to share His love through these
volumes. Beloved Avatar Meher Baba be praised!
Bal Natu
July 10, 1986
Meherazad
ix
PREFACE
This fifth volume of Glimpses covers just nine weeks of Avatar

Meher Baba's life, beginning with January 1, 1954. It concen-
trates mostly on His darshan tours of the Hamirpur area of
Uttar Pradesh, and Andhra Pradesh (two Indian states) in
February. The reason for this extensive coverage of such a short
time span is that I came across so many inspiring and interesting
events which occurred in this period that it was hard for me to
resist including them.
After all, Baba's life of perfection is revealed through
everything connected with Him, and I am not running a race to
finish writing these volumes of His biography, which is ever
renewing. To be honest, I enjoy this work of presenting His life;
to me it is a delightful, leisurely excursion with Baba through
moments made alive by His time-penetrating presence.
The information compiled in this volume comes from many
sources: my notes and memory; Kishan Singh's diary; and the
incidents I later heard from Baba's mandali and His dear ones in
Hamirpur and Andhra.
Meher Baba's words recorded in conversation and shared
through discourses given from His alphabet board were
interspersed with His gestures and hence should not be treated
as verbatim. Sometimes during the interviews and darshan
programs, Baba also used words or sentences from various
Indian languages, and these were not always easy to translate. I
have tried to check the available sources with some of the
mandali and Baba's followers as closely as possible; however,
the text is open to correction.
For the present volume, as I walked along a memory lane of
over thirty years, I found the darshan reminiscences were still
fresh and vibrant but that it was a very delicate and difficult task
to try and express in words what I felt.
Meher Baba's darshan visits to villages and towns in
Hamirpur and Andhra were crowded with many heartwarming
and profound events. Each and every darshan program of
x
PREFACE
Meher Baba presented a unique dispensation—a selfless giving

of Himself as Love.
If my attempt to relate them in words has smothered the
spirit—the "feel"—of those incredible darshan days, I hope to
be excused. But, with Baba's grace, if even a little perfume of
His divinely human presence is retained and shared through this
volume of Glimpses, I would feel immensely grateful to Him.
One of the main topics in this volume deals with Meher
Baba's open declaration of His being the Avatar, which was
made on February 10, 1954. From that day onward, Meher Baba
unconditionally and in a most natural way, referred to Himself
privately and publicly as the Avatar—the Ancient One who
periodically visits the earth to awaken humanity and to release it
from its shackles of ignorance.
I have expressed my thoughts about the impact of Meher
Baba's divine announcement on the world in general, and His
followers in particular; but these should only be taken as my
subjective conclusions which I have shared without a thought of
imposing them on others—each one is free to have one's own
viewpoint.
Meher Baba once quoted a Persian aphorism:
Grace of God cares not for merit,
Grace of God eagerly looks for an excuse to flow out.
This adage is most applicable when God descends on earth as

Man, the Avatar. This periodical "divine excuse" of God acts in
a most natural manner, allowing events to seemingly take their
own course. He uses these, as well as surprising coincidences,
as excuses to bestow His love on those who happen to come
into His contact.
By the same token, His very naturalness and willingness to
live God's Life as it comes provides many with an excuse to
deny Him. What a marvelous manifestation! That is why the
Avatar is ignored, criticized and even crucified by
contemporary humanity for whose sake He assumes a human
form.
On top of this, each time the Avatar comes, He ignores the
traditional paths to God and reestablishes a pathless living in
xi
PREFACE
loving remembrance of the God-Man as Love. To discover

one's way to the God-Man through the age-old traditions or
through reasoning alone is difficult. Even when confronted with
the life of the Avatar, the mind finds many reasons not to
believe in Him.
And yet the Avatar, through various incredible selfless
incidents expressed in His divine life on earth, awakens love for
God in the hearts of His lovers. He inspires humanity through
His divinely human example to begin to "feel with mind and
think through heart." In one of His messages to a large
gathering in 1954, Meher Baba stated:
I have come to sow the seed of love in your hearts so that,
in spite of all superficial diversity which your life in illusion
must experience and endure, the feeling of Oneness, through
love, is brought about amongst all the nations, creeds, sects
and castes of the world.
The Avatar's life is just the excuse He uses to sow the seed of
love in humanity's heart. There is no way to approach Him,
there is no way to understand Him, except through love.
One time, at the end of a long discussion with His lovers,
Avatar Meher Baba smiled and with lively gestures conveyed,
"Your business is to love Me, the rest is My business." Isn't this
the best indication from the Avatar to each of us as to what our
job is. So, with deep gratitude for Meher Baba's timely help
offered through loving hearts and hands, and with wholehearted
salutations to Beloved Baba for His benevolent love, I offer this
volume in His charge, for His business.
The writing of the next volume depends on how long He pulls
me through the years and how much He pushes me toward
additional Glimpses. He knows best. Until then, all glory and
victory to Avatar Meher Baba who loves us more than we can
ever love ourselves. Jai Meher!
Bal Natu
July 10, 1986
Meherazad
xii
CONTENTS
Dedication v
Acknowledgements vii
Preface x
1. The Avatar's Game of Concealing and Revealing

Himself—1954, Part I
Babajan Unveils "The Avatar" in Merwan 1

Maharaj Declares: "Merwan, You Are The Avatar." 5
Avatar Disguised as a Disciple and Master 7
The Ocean Becomes "The Oceanized Individual" 10
Personal Reflections on the Avatr's Grand Game 13
2. Second Visit to Hamirpur District Begins—

1954, Part II
Correspondence about Darshan Programs 18

Easy to Write; Difficult to Do 23
Meditation: A Delightful Companionship with the 24
Divine
Baba Leaves Mahabaleshwar for Hamirpur 27
Language of the Heart 30
Ichhaura: "Prem Teertha" 32
Baba Asks for Forgiveness! 35
3. Discomforts and Delights of the Hamirpur

Darshan—1954, Part III
The Avatar's Whim Has Rhyme and Reason 40

"Elimination of the Ego is My Specialty" 42
Baba's Love Revives a Dead Tree 44
Baba in a Subterranean Meditation Chamber 47
"Say, 'Baba! May You Never Forget Me'." 49
"My Religion is Love" 50
A Special Form with Three Options 52
Darbar-e-Khas at Dhanauri 54
"Who Are the Mandali?" 57
xiii
CONTENTS
4. "Avatar Meher Baba Ki Jai!"—1954, Part IV
Rock-like Faith, Flame-like Love 60

What Counts Where 63
"By Your Love Make Me Your Slave" 65
"Ask for My Forgiveness" 66
Baba Hears a Lover's Silent Yearning 69
Ecstatic Night Vigil 72
Day of Demarcation 75
Baba Draws His Mandali to Him 78
"When the Master is Ready" 80
Second Lease on Life 82
Meherastana: Threshold to Meher, the Avatar 83
5. Baba Leaves Mahabaleshwar for Andhra—

1954, Part V
Small Darshan at Poona Railway Station 88

"I Have Never Seen Another Like Him!" 90
Baba Introduces Francis to the Mandali 92
A Foretaste of Andhra 93
Baba Catches a Hand and Captivates a Heart 96
Announcement of the Workers' Meeting 98
"I Am the Ocean of Purity" 101
Praja (Public) Darshan at Guntur 103
Dramatic Darshan 107
Baba in the Happiest Mood 109
"Pull Your Ears" 110
Conditions Imposed and Withdrawn in Love 112
6. Machilipatnam and Gudiwada—1954, Part VI
Baba Keeps the Pot Boiling! 117

Visit to M. S. R. Sastri's House 119
"Self Lost Is Freedom Gained" 122
"My Answer Will Reach Your Heart" 124
Cold Drinks that Warmed the Heart 127
xiv
CONTENTS
7. Memorable Stay at Eluru—1954, Part VII
"Breaking" the Silence 130

"The Avatar's and Masters' Love and Grace" 133
Baba's Orders Are Potential Opportunities 137
Two Heart-Moving Visits 140
A Printing Press and a Pan Shop 143
"Myself Is for Those Who Love Me" 146
Y. Ramamohan Rao Keeps Watch at the Gate 148
A Loaf of Bread Brings the Wine of Love 151
8. The Sixtieth Birthday—1954, Part VIII
Midnight Visit to Penugonda 154

Washing the Avatar's Feet 156
Veena and Meera 158
I Am Never Born. . . . 161
"For Me or for Food?" 164
"Share My Love Freely" 167
"Help Us Enthrone You in Our Hearts" 168
"Behold Him Come, the Son of God!" 170
9. Shama-Parwana and Some

Memorable Incidents—1954, Part IX
Divine Shama: The Illusion-Consuming Flame 174

Barbadi and Abadi: Ruin and Prosperity 177
Flavors of Intimacy 181
Tears Bring You Closer to Him 182
Baba Sits Majestically Atop His Car 184
Simultaneous Rest and Restlessness 188
A Night Stay in the Launches 190
Baba's Order to Drown Savak in the Godavari 193
Savak's Desperate Yearning to Be with Baba 197
"To You I Shall Give the Ocean" 200
xv
CONTENTS
10. Kovvur to Kottapeta—1954, Part X
Baba's Darshan Is Ever New 203

Heart: The House of Beloved God 204
Baba's Message to the Children 206
A Timeless Love and a Limitless Mystery! 209
"Drink Coconut Water to Your Hearts' Content!" 211
"Religion" of the Ancient One: Love God 215
Baba Remembers Gandhi's Meeting with Him 217
She Internally Challenged Baba 219
The Smiling Beloved and the Weeping Dagger 222
In a Coconut Grove 224
Four Journeys of a Perfect Master 226
Accident to the Jeep 229
11. Meher Baba Explains "Real Work" at

Rajahmundry—1954, Part XI
Baba and His Workers Reach the Gurukul 232

Introduction to "Real Work" 234
Specific Conditions for "Working" in Baba's Cause 237
Baba Confesses on Behalf of All 239
KDRM Dissolved; Every Baba Lover a Baba Center 242
"Love Me; Love Me; Love Me." 245
Existence is Substance; Life is Shadow 247
"No One of My Mandali Is Baba" 251
Baba's Breaking of His Silence 254
"I Am the Ancient One" 258
He Needs None; We Need None But Him! 260
xvi
CONTENTS
12. The Glorious Andhra Darshan Tour Ends—

1954, Part XII
"So Many Seek, So Few Find" 264

An Offering That Begets Pride Defiles Love 266
Baba Asks Questions; Baba Answers Them 270
"All Worship. . . Eventually Comes to Me" 272
Yoga Samadhi and Nirvikalpa Samadhi 274
Ten Minutes and Four Seconds 277
Who Made the Sick Bogie Fit? 279
Baba Helps Those Who Long to Obey 282
Darshan Treat for Janaky's Family 286
Don't Bend Baba's "Guidelines" to Suit Your Ends 289
All Glory to Meher Baba, the Avatar! 292
Glossary 297
Bibliography 302
xvii
THE AVATAR'S GAME OF CONCEALING
AND REVEALING HIMSELF
1954 - PART 1
Babajan Unveils "The Avatar" in Merwan
1954 is one of the most eventful years in the life of Avatar
Meher Baba. In February, He toured Hamirpur and Andhra for
the second time and gave many of His important messages. In
September, there were the "three incredible weeks" (the only
sahavas program ever held for Westerners at Meherabad),
which culminated in a large meeting attended by His lovers
from all parts of India at which Baba gave the momentous
message known as "Meher Baba's Final Declaration." 1 In
October, Baba stopped using the alphabet board and relied
thenceforth exclusively on gestures to communicate. But
perhaps 1954's greatest significance lies in the fact that it was
during this year that Meher Baba began to unequivocally assert,
in public and in private, that He was God in human form—the
Avatar of the Age.
People are often curious to know exactly when it was that
Meher Baba first declared Himself to be the Avatar. It is hard to
give a definitive answer for, starting as early as the '20s, Baba
would occasionally hint at His true status and, sometimes,
would even directly disclose it to a few of His early Eastern and
Western disciples. In general, however, Baba was content to let
His followers regard Him as a Sadguru (Perfect Master). Baba's
intentional concealment and purposeful revelation of His true
status is itself a part of Baba's Avataric game.
According to the divine plan, whenever Reality descends into
Illusion to assume a human form as the Avatar, the five Perfect
Masters of the Age put a veil upon Him to maintain the balance
between Infinite Reality and Illusion. 2 At the ordained time, this
veil is removed by one of the Masters. In the present Avataric
Advent, this was done by Hazrat Babajan with a
1
The God-Man, p. 222.
2
See: Beams From Meher Baba, p. 27.
1
GLIMPSES OF THE GOD-MAN
matchless kiss that made Merwan experience the Reality of His

Infinite Being.
Hazrat Babajan was Baba's first Sadguru. She was born into a
religious Muslim family in Baluchistan. By the time she was a
teenager she could recite the Koran by heart. Being deeply
devoted to God, she secretly left her house to find Him, and
went to Rawalpindi where she met her spiritual master. Babajan
could speak Arabic, Persian, Pushtoo and Hindustani fluently,
although her conversation with most people consisted of cryptic
and seemingly disjointed utterances. The little information we
have of her life comes from Meher Baba with whom, in private,
she spoke freely and quite lucidly.
She was in her nineties when she came to Poona (now known
as Pune) in 1903. After wandering about the city for several
years, she finally settled in the cantonment area, under a neem
tree on Malcolm Tank Road (now called Rao Saheb Kedari
Road). During the day, she would wander about the city, often
choosing to rest under a mango tree near the Bund Gardens,
(not far from Guruprasad where Baba stayed for the three
summer months, mid-March to mid-June, in the '60s). Each
evening, however, Babajan would return to the neem tree where
she would spend the night with no other shelter to protect her
from the weather.
Babajan's real name was Gulrukh (one whose face is as
charming as a rose) and even in her old age, despite her shabby
and loose tea-stained clothes—a long apron and pajamas—her
beauty shone forth. She had silvery curly hair and bright
piercing eyes. She was fond of wearing rings on her fingers.
At the turn of the century, the area around the neem tree
where Babajan stationed herself at night was dirty and squalid.
However, her personality was such—she was so charismatic—
that every night a large crowd would soon gather around her. It
was her habit to keep a fire burning near by. Occasionally
people would sing ghazals or qawwalis to her. At some point
before dawn, she would cover herself with a coarse and rather
old bedsheet and sleep. But no amount of rags or filth could
disguise her radiance and many people began to accept her a
holy woman, a great saint. In fact, she was one of
2
THE AVATAR'S GAME OF COCEALING AND
REVEALING HIMSELF
the five God-realized Perfect Masters of this Age.
All of this, however, was of little concern to Merwan, as
Meher Baba was then known by his friends and family. He was
interested in cricket and games and school-boy activities—not
spirituality. Although Babajan was well known in Poona,
Merwan had no reason to visit her.
One day a Bengali classmate gave Merwan a small book on
the life of Gautama, the Buddha. Merwan casually opened it to
a page that mentioned the second coming of the Buddha as
Maitreya—the Lord of Mercy. Suddenly, that very moment,
Merwan felt deep within himself, "I am that One." Then he
totally forgot about the incident and continued his life as an
energetic, sports-loving and intelligent schoolboy.
In 1913 Merwan was nineteen years old and attending Deccan
College. One day in May, while riding his bike to class,
Babajan caught his eye and beckoned to him, "Come here, my
child." Without hesitation, Merwan got down from his cycle
and, "like iron drawn to a magnet," he walked toward her.
Babajan got up from her seat and very lovingly embraced
Merwan who sat near her for a while and then got up to return
home. Not a word had been exchanged between them, yet this
unexpected contact was to change the entire course of Merwan's
life. From that day he began to experience thrills of
indescribable bliss. His interest in college, or any worldly
concern, began to fade away and he started visiting Babajan
every night. He would sit by her side, usually in silence, pleased
whenever Babajan would permit him to render some small
service for her.
One night, in January 1914, Merwan arrived and kissed
Babajan's hand with profound respect and stood reverentially
before her. Babajan lovingly took Merwan's face in her hands
and kissed him on the forehead, between his eyes. Then, turning
to the people who happened to be around her, she pointed to
Merwan and announced, "This child of mine will, after some
years, create a great awakening in the world; He will do
immense good to humanity."
Merwan stood there for a few moments and then walked
away. After arriving home, around 11:00 P.M., while in bed,
3
Merwan began to experience something akin to electric shocks

coursing through his body. Soon he lost consciousness of
everyone and everything except the Infinite Bliss of His own
Eternal Existence.
For three days Merwan lay on His bed, His eyes wide open
but vacant, unseeing. He was dead to everyone and everything
of Illusion. On the fourth day, He became slightly conscious of
His physical body and after nine incredible months He became
somewhat conscious of His surroundings, but that's a different
story altogether.
Merwan continued to visit Babajan occasionally after this
unique unveiling and she would always refer to Him as her
"Beloved Son." Knowing fully well what immense and untold
suffering the Avatar has to bear in coming among men as Man,
Babajan would sometimes refer to the Avatar's descent in
Illusion by softly repeating the following Persian couplet:
Khud bekhud azad budi, khud gireftar amadi;

Ta kuni kudra tamasha, sooye bazar amadi.
When freely translated, this means:
You were absolutely Free

But you allowed yourself to be bound.
You came among men as Man
To awaken yourself in Creation.
In an arti which Merwan composed on Babajan, not too long

after she had unveiled Him, He wrote:
Tan karoon gar kaphshe paye, Hazrat-e-Roshan Zameer;

Phirbhi zeerbare ahesan, kamtareen maherban hai.
(Even if I were to make shoes of my own skin and offer
them to you, O Master of Light,
It would still be too little to express the gratitude that I owe
you.)
In later years, whenever anyone spoke of Babajan in Meher

Baba's presence, a special glow illumined His face, and He
always referred to her as Shahenshah (the Emperor).
It is interesting that Buddha was also unveiled by a woman.
4
REVEALING HIMSELF
Beloved Baba once remarked that the woman who gave
Gautama a bowl of kheer (rice cooked in sweetened milk) at
Uruvela, near Gaya, was in fact a Perfect Master. She was the
one who unveiled the Buddha in Gautama who became known
as the Enlightened One. With a kiss, Babajan unveiled the
Avatar in Merwan who became known as the Ancient One, the
Awakener.
Maharaj Declares: "Merwan, You Are The Avatar. "
Babajan's kiss unveiled Merwan to the infinitude of His being
the Ancient One. Afterward, he felt impelled to visit the other
four Perfect Masters of the Age. In April 1915, Merwan visited
Kedgaon, thirty-four miles from Poona, where he paid his
respects to Narayan Maharaj. Baba later mentioned that this was
a very special meeting, but He did not disclose its significance.
Within a month, Merwan traveled to Nagpur where he offered
his obeisance to Hazrat Tajuddin. Toward the end of the year, in
December 1915, with one of his close friends, Merwan went to
Shirdi, fifty-two miles from Ahmednagar, where Sai Baba
resided. Sai Baba was the Qutub-e-Irshad, or the head of the
five Perfect Masters of the Age. It was morning and Sai Baba
was returning in a procession from Lendi, a nulla which he used
to visit every day to relieve himself. There were many people
about him but Merwan made his way through the crowd and
prostrated on the dirt road at Sai Baba's holy feet.
When Merwan got up, Sai Baba, whose eyes were
exceptionally lustrous, looked straight and deep into Merwan's
eyes and uttered one word aloud, "Parvardigar!" (God-
Almighty-Sustainer: the Avatar). With this declaration, Sai
Baba moved on. Perhaps this one word, Parvardigar, was a sign
that it was time for the Avatar, as Meher Baba, to come out of
His state of absorption in His own Infinite Being.
After this meeting, Merwan was intuitively drawn to
Khandoba's temple which was nearby. Upasni Maharaj was
5
staying there under Sai Baba's orders. Upasni Maharaj was born
Upasni Kashinath Govindrao in a Brahmin (Shastri) family.
Upasni was the family name; the name Maharaj (meaning great
king) was given to him by his followers, and is commonly used
by Hindus to show their respect for their Master.
In Maharaj's case, however, the name was unusually apt for
he had a towering, kingly personality. His skin, like heated
copper, was bright and luminous, and the radiance and bliss of
his perfection were unmistakable. He had tremendous personal
dignity and authority and was an imposing figure—naked
except for the burlap sack which he draped over his shoulder.
He could be very gentle and tender, but when he was in a fiery
mood all quailed before him.
The moment Maharaj saw Merwan entering the temple, he
threw a stone which hit Merwan on the forehead, exactly where
Babajan had kissed him. The stone was flung with such force
that it drew blood, but the significance of its impact was even
greater, for this blow helped Merwan begin to regain
consciousness of the ordinary world.
From then, until the end of 1921, Merwan began visiting
Upasni Maharaj for varying lengths of time. The last such visit
was from July to December 1921. Merwan and Maharaj usually
sat together in a small jhopri at Sakori and during one of these
meetings Maharaj folded his hands to Merwan and said,
"Merwan, you are the Avatar." By this he meant that Merwan,
who had been conscious of, but absorbed in, His Infinite Being
(the Ancient One state), ever since Babajan's kiss, had now also
become fully conscious of Illusion as Illusion and of His being
the Avatar.
Decades later, in November 1955, Meher Baba in a gathering
of His lovers recounted:
That blow from Maharaj was the stroke of dnyan (Marefat
of Haqiqat, or divine Knowledge). Figuratively, Maharaj
had started to rouse me from "sound sleep." But in ordinary
sound sleep man is unconscious, while I, being super-
conscious, was wide awake in sound sleep. With that
6
REVEALING HIMSELF
stroke, Maharaj had begun to help me return to ordinary
consciousness of the realm of illusion. 3
Babajan, in a flash, made Merwan experience His own
Infinite Being. She made Him feel His Avatarhood. Upasni
Maharaj made Merwan know Himself as the Avatar—the
Eternal Master. In a meeting with His lovers in the early '50s,
Meher Baba stated:
What I am, what I was, and what I will be as the Ancient
One, is always due to the five Perfect Masters (Sadgurus) of
the Age. During the Avataric periods, these five make God
incarnate as Man.
Sai Baba, Upasni Maharaj, Babajan, Tajuddin Baba and
Narayan Maharaj are the five Perfect Masters of this Age
for me. Of these five, Babajan and Upasni Maharaj directly
played the main roles.
Thus, with the dawn of 1922, Merwan began to consciously
function as the Avatar.
Avatar Disguised as a Disciple and Master
By January 1922, Merwan, having become conscious of His
being Infinite as God and finite as Man, began to function as the
Avatar. Any time Merwan visited Babajan, He would show the
greatest respect, sitting quietly near her and, if she wished it,
doing any personal service He could, such as scratching her
back.
Whenever Merwan visited Sakori, He would first fold His
hands to Maharaj from a distance and then circumambulate the
place where Maharaj was sitting with his followers. Before
entering the room, He would bow to the threshold of the door
and, while leaving, He would retrace His steps from Maharaj so
as not to show any disrespect by turning His back to him.
Even after Maharaj saluted Merwan as the Avatar, He
continued to play the role of a perfect, humble disciple. In the
3
Listen, Humanity, p. 249.
7
early '20s, Merwan composed songs of praise (artis) in honor of

His two Masters. With His early group of followers, He would
sing these artis with profound respect before pictures of
Babajan and Maharaj. Through these simple acts, Meher Baba
was demonstrating how we should honor, respect and praise the
Master, the One united with God.
At the end of 1921, Maharaj told Gustadji and Beheram
(Meher Baba's first disciple whom He nicknamed Bua Saheb),
"I have given my charge to Merwan. Your friend is now
spiritually perfect. Stick to him and obey him in everything."
Several months later, Merwan was given the name Meher Baba
by His followers, for even those who had not been specifically
told so by Maharaj began to feel that Merwan Himself had
become a Perfect Master.
In June 1922, during Baba's stay with His early group of
disciples in Manzil-e-Meem, Bombay, He started giving hints,
although indirect ones, about His spiritual status. Once He
explained:
From the viewpoint of Divine gnosis, the Muslims
progress [proceed] from Oneness (Wahadat) to manyness
(kasrat) and the Hindus from manyness to Oneness. Thus
the Muslims and the Hindus represent the extreme and
opposite points of a diameter of a circle with God as the
Center. Zoroastrianism is midway between the two extremes
and hence the choice at this juncture of a Zoroastrian form
in me as the vehicle of spirituality, derived from Muslim
and Hindu sources. 4
During this stay, Baba would sometimes even refer to the
coming of the Avatar and His circle of 120 members.
In the '30s, Baba began to gather His Western disciples. In
1937 He wrote to Delia DeLeon in England, "I know all the
present and future and nothing can stop the work that I am here
to do. Am I not the Avatar? The world will know it soon and
will accept me as such. Be calm, be steady and firm as a rock in
your faith and love for me."
Still, through the '30s and '40s, most of Meher Baba's
followers regarded Him as a Sadguru (Perfect Master). In those
4
Meher Baba Journal, December, 1940; p. 107.
8
REVEALING HIMSELF
days, at the end of a darshan program, Baba's devotees, in
praise of their Master, would shout, "Sadguru Meher Baba Ki
Jai." In 1937 the first biography of Meher Baba in English was
published in England. It was written by C.B. Purdom and, along
with a brief outline of His life, it presented Meher Baba as a
Perfect Master; indeed it was even titled, The Perfect Master.
On February 10, 1954, Meher Baba was in the midst of His
lovers at Meherastana in the district of Hamirpur. Keshav
Nigam, who was present, recalls, "Baba was in an extremely
happy mood, spelling the words, "Avatar Meher Baba Ki Jai,"
on His alphabet board and simultaneously raising up His right
hand to confirm that "Jai!" 5 In this extremely happy mood,
Baba told those gathered that it was the first time in this
Incarnation He had openly and clearly declared Himself to be
the Avatar. And from that day on, Meher Baba continued to
assert His Avatarhood in public and in private.
There were some people who came to know of Baba only
after 1954 who were, in fact, disturbed by Baba's repeated
assertions of His Avatarhood. Sometimes they critically
thought, "If Meher Baba is really the Avatar, the Christ, why
does He need to repeat this so often? People should be able to
know it without His telling them so."
One of Meher Baba's dear ones in a casual conversation with
Him remarked, "Baba, as far as I know, your statements about
your being the Avatar are only keeping people away from you."
Baba, with a calm, serene countenance, but not without His
characteristic smile, replied, "Divine honesty demands that I say
what I am. I am the Ancient One."
But this answer did not seem to convince the general public.
Some said, "Why then didn't Meher Baba's divine honesty
demand that He openly declare His Avatarhood from the
beginning of 1922?" To try to explain why Baba did not declare
Himself openly as the Avatar then, and why He did in 1954, is
not only beyond me, but I am sure that it would be foolish on
my part to attempt to either interpret or judge the significance of
this. How can a finite mind ever assess the working of the
Infinite One? The Avatar ever remains a
perfect mystery!
5
Glow International, May, 1985; p. 10.
9
Baba, however, always encouraged people, even His adver-

saries, to freely express what they felt about Him. So, with my
limited understanding, and from what little I could gather in His
company, I would like to share, in this introductory chapter, a
few thoughts and some quotes of Baba and His mandali about
the general nature of the Avatar's role.
The Ocean Becomes "The Oceanized Individual"
During one of the massive public darshan programs Meher
Baba held in the year 1954, more than 70,000 people assembled
at Wadia Park in Ahmednagar. At that time He gave a special
message entitled, "Meher Baba's Call." It began:
Age after age, when the wick of Righteousness burns low,
the Avatar comes yet once again to rekindle the torch of
Love and Truth. Age after age, amidst the clamor of
disruptions, wars, fears and chaos, rings the Avatar's call:
Come all unto me.
Although, because of the veil of illusion, this Call of the
Ancient One may appear as a voice in the wilderness, its
echo and re-echo nevertheless pervades through time and
space, to rouse at first a few, and eventually millions, from
their deep slumber of ignorance. . . .
The time is come. I repeat the Call, and bid all come unto
me.
Years earlier, Baba had explained to His close ones that God
in the Beyond State is not consciously man, and that man in the
world of Illusion is not consciously God. However, the God-
Man, being God as well as man, becomes a divinely human link
between God and humanity. He not only brings God of the
Beyond State to one and all, but He also helps each one to come
closer to, and finally merge in, God.
In one of His circulars to His lovers Meher Baba stated:
God is absolutely Independent, and the universe is
10
REVEALING HIMSELF
entirely dependent upon God. Yet when the Perfect Masters
effect the descent of God on earth as the Avatar, they make
Reality and Illusion interdependent, each upon the other.
And thus it is that His infinite mercy and unbounded love
are eternally drawn upon by those who are immersed in
Illusion.
Between God and the universe, infinite mercy and
unbounded love act as a prominent link which is eternally
made use of by men who become God (Sadgurus, Perfect
Masters, or Qutubs), and by God who becomes Man
(Avatar, Christ, or Rasool), and so the universe becomes the
eternal playmate of God. Through this prominent link the
Avatar not only established life in His divine play, but also
established law in Illusion. 6
Francis Brabazon, one of Meher Baba's close Australian
disciples and a great poet, in his book The Silent Word
expresses something of the mystery of the Avatar:
Men are born, and die, and are reborn; until they die into
the deathless and are never born again. But one Man, being
birthless and deathless, takes birth again and again because
of the cry of the world for relief from the burden of living.
This man is the God-Man: Whole God; Perfect man.
Because he is God his actions as a Man are perfect; and
because he is a Man, mankind partakes of the divine
qualities of His Godhood. . . .
He is the junction of Reality and Illusion: Bliss and
misery, Knowledge and ignorance, Power and helplessness.
His birth as the Creation and his birth as The Divine
Beloved are both stories told out of a dream until he is born
in us and we in him . . . the purpose of the Creation was the
individualization of the Ocean of Being into drops, and the
purpose of God's Man-form was that the drops should know
that they are the Ocean. 7
On one occasion, Baba conveyed, "Man realizing God is like
a drop of water swallowing the entire Ocean, no less!" I gather
6
Life Circular, No. 24.
7
The Silent Word, pp. 1-8.
11
that in the case of the Avatar's Advent, the Ocean first contracts
itself into a drop (human form). Then, at the ordained moment
of unveiling, this "drop" realizes its "Ocean-ness." And again,
out of compassion, the Ocean consciously returns to its "drop-
ness" while retaining its "Oceanity": this is the state of the
Avatar.
Referring to the recurrent advents of the God-Man, Meher
Baba stated, "In me I am Free, but in you I feel bound. In the
Beyond State there is no binding; there is absolute Freedom,
absolute Existence. What a sublime State it is! From that
sublime State, I have come to your level." But this was not easy,
even for Baba!
One day, while sitting with His mandali, Baba gestured:
When, after the kiss from Babajan, I knew that I was the
Ocean, I did not want to come back to ordinary "drop"
consciousness from that Blissful State where I alone was.
But despite My resistance, the five Perfect Masters kept
"pulling Me down" to ordinary consciousness for My
destined Manifestation as Avatar. . .Upasni Maharaj brought
Me down to normal consciousness. 8
Meher Baba's sister, Mani, wrote in one of her letters to the
West, "That we may 'find' Him, He allows the finite to 'bind'
Him. And while bound, He is human enough to miss His
infinitely Free State of Being." 9 And in another letter she shared
the following concept, "For the world, while oblivious of it, the
greatest event is when God visits the earth as Man. . . . The
cloak of human-ness that God puts on for our human sakes is
the highest revelation of His God-ness. Time and again God
manifests His glory to man in the supreme image of the God-
Man."
Beloved Baba seldom gave spiritual discourses as such.
However, He would at times, while in the company of His close
mandali, casually make comments which, though succinct, were
nonetheless deeply profound. One such remark was that the
Avatar is the "Oceanized Individual." This means that the
Avatar knows that as the Ocean He lies hidden within each
individual (drop), and that simultaneously all drops are
contained
8
82 Family Letters, p. 153.
9
Ibid., p. 174.
12
REVEALING HIMSELF
within the Ocean. What a paradox!
But because it is impossible for an individual to conceive of
Infinity or to approach an infinite shoreless Ocean, that Ocean,
out of love and compassion, becomes its own shore; that shore
is the God-Man, the "Oceanized Individual," the divine link
between man and God.
The boundless love and compassion of the Avatar is the
hidden Ocean in every heart. When anyone remembers Him
wholeheartedly, the waves from the Ocean flood one's heart,
cleanse it of its impurities and gradually dissolve one's "drop-
ness" revealing the drop's intrinsic unity with the Ocean.
Baba, Himself, simplified the whole matter, putting it in
proper perspective when He gestured to one of His dear ones,
"Pour your 'drop' into my Ocean and become the Ocean which
in reality you are."
Personal Reflections on the Avatar's Grand Game
The foregoing was a somewhat abstract look at the nature of the
Avatar's role in general but it does not precisely answer the
question raised earlier: "Why did Baba declare His Avatarhood
in 1954 and not in 1922?" Perhaps the answer to this question
lies in relation to the introduction in 1954, as in other phases, of
a new rhythm in the functioning of the Avatar's work.
Just as there was the ordained moment for Babajan to unveil
the Infinite Consciousness in Merwan, so too there was a
divinely planned moment for Meher Baba to openly declare His
true status, and this was in February 1954.
Perhaps it would be interesting, and also amusing to recount
how Baba's statements concerning His divinity affected my own
slowly evolving and involving relationship with how Baba's
statements concerning His divinity affected Him. My
acceptance of Baba as the Avatar was a very slow process and
the certitude I eventually developed continues to renew itself
and spread its roots and shoots in the depths and heights of my
consciousness today.
13
Baba does not impose anything on anyone but allows one's

faith and love to develop at their own natural pace. The fact that
my conviction in Baba's Avatarhood blossomed so gradually is
testimony to my overestimation of the importance of intellectual
understanding. More significantly, however, it bears witness to
the Avatar's grand game of loving patience and His patient love
for each of His followers.
In the mid-'40s I was blessed to hear about Meher Baba and
had a craving to read anything written by Him or about Him,
although I had no intention of following Baba as my Master. To
me, at first, He was simply a great man. Later I accepted Him as
a saintly person, but my heart was on yogis and especially the
Poorna Yoga of Sri Aurobindo. Baba's life, and His words,
impressed my heart, but at the same time they challenged my
mind. Why Baba observed silence I thought I could understand
a little, but the importance given to its breaking and the effect
this would have on world consciousness was hard for me to
accept.
I started reading the Discourses by Meher Baba, which were
in those days published in India in five volumes. 10 The first
article in the first volume was on the Avatar. According to my
understanding, saints and Sadgurus could glorify the Avatar but
they could not write about His status. As the Avatar is far above
them I thought, "How can Meher Baba write about the function
of the Avatar?" So I simply skimmed the article and went on to
the next.
I must, however, admit that Baba's other articles impressed
me with their finely pointed logic and the simple yet elegant
style with which they were written. The discourses on: "Love,"
"The Search For God," "True Discipleship," "The Ways of The
Master," and the series of articles on "Reincarnation," "Ego"
and "Maya" stole my heart. These articles shed light on the
various points that had been troubling me for some time.
Nowhere in my reading had I ever found these subjects dealt
with so lucidly and directly as Meher Baba had done in the
Discourses.
I read Baba's biography in Marathi by Dr. C.D. Deshmukh
and later I read The Perfect Master by C.B. Purdom. In this
10
In 1987, these five volumes were published as one volume by Sheriar Press, Inc.,
Myrtle Beach, SC 29577 USA.
14
REVEALING HIMSELF
latter book, I was deeply struck by Baba's answers given to
James Douglas, a famous reporter of the time, in an interview
first published in London's Sunday Express, April 10, 1932. The
reporter asked Baba, "Are you divine?" Baba smiled and
answered, "I am one with God. I live in Him, like Buddha, like
Christ, like Krishna. They know Him as I know Him . . . . "
Baba's other answers, although they seemed cryptic to me,
nonetheless moved me with their profundity. But Baba's reply
to the question, "Are you divine?" appeared to me to be rather
boastful. It seemed Meher Baba was implying that He was
superior to Buddha, Christ and Krishna! I felt that the most
Meher Baba should have said was, "I know Him as they know
Him," and not the other way around! In Purdom's book the
whole subject of the Avatar, or of Baba being the Avatar, was
not directly dealt with.
In 1947 Jean Adriel published a narrative of her spiritual
experiences in relation to Meher Baba under the title, Avatar.
The book was published in California and it was not until 1948
that a hard cover edition of this book was mailed to me by Adi
K. Irani, Meher Baba's secretary (hereafter referred to as Adi). I
grumbled about its high price but when I learned that Baba had
approved the list of who was to be sent a copy, I felt that I must
read it thoroughly.
Opposite the title page was a picture of Meher Baba. It
showed a slim figure, with flowing hair, and fingers tucked in
the pockets of His Parsi-style white coat. The focus of the
picture was not sharp and behind Baba one can dimly make out
some hazy mountains in the distance. This lent an air of mystery
to the picture, enhanced by the far-off look in Baba's eyes and
the suggestion of sunlight partially illuminating His face.
Under the picture there was this quote:
It is my part in the Divine Plan to bring to the weary world a
fresh dispensation of Eternal Love.—Meher Baba.
(Incidentally, the 1971 paperback edition has a different
cover, a different photo and a different message under it.) Jean
had dedicated the book to:
15
The Living Christ—Whose beauty the very heavens cannot

contain, but Whose presence may be found in every humble,
loving heart.
I read this book with great interest; I was captivated by Baba's
photo and I was greatly impressed with the contents of the
book. But both Baba's quote and the dedication sounded
exaggerated, at least according to my understanding. The quote
attributed to Baba a claim which I thought was too great for
even a Perfect Master to make. My heart was repeatedly stirred
to accept Baba's divinity unconditionally, but my mind was just
as repeatedly provoked to challenge His divine status as too far
reaching.
Yet, despite my doubts, Baba's love and compassion were
such that not only did He allow me to spend time with Him, but
He never let my doubts interfere in any way with the love He
showered upon me. I was like a piece of worthless iron, pulled
to Baba solely because of His magnetic divinity.
I continued to have my personal interests in literature,
astrology and social work. Baba never forbade this, nor did He
ever give me direct specific instructions as to how I should live
my life. In those early years, however, in reply to the letters I
sent Him, Baba would send me His love and blessings. And
even as I read the words Baba had dictated, I felt the charge
those words carried with them and I would feel blessed.
Whenever I would be in Baba's presence, all questions and
doubts about His divine status totally disappeared. Baba's
presence was overwhelming, supernal. During my visits I never
asked Baba any questions about anything. Each time it was a
silent sahavas immersed in His unconditional love.
Over the years, my interest in theological and metaphysical
matters, as well as my desire to see any "spiritual" personalities,
began, on their own, to wane. But this was a long drawn out
affair and had its ups and downs. As I read books by and about
Baba or His messages, I would sometimes feel confused and the
old doubts would surface, but His love always sustained me. I
did not know then of the Avatar's exquisite skill in allowing
one's mind to meander capriciously this way and
16
REVEALING HIMSELF
that, while all the time He is secretly drawing one's heart ever
closer to Him!
1954, the year Baba declared Himself openly to be the Avatar,
was also an important year for me on my way to accepting Baba
on His terms. That year, in May, I somehow got involved in a
visit to a saintly person. Baba was in Mahabaleshwar, near
Poona, and I went to see Him along with Adi. As always, in His
company my heart was filled with exultation, but during our
conversation, when Baba asked me whether I had told the
saintly person that Meher Baba is the Avatar, I felt ashamed and
replied in a low voice, "No, I didn't."
Baba knew that I did not have the courage to say that so He
continued, "If you do not have faith in me as the Avatar, you
could have at least told him that Meher Baba says that He is the
Avatar."
I was abashed by my own lack of faith and remained silent.
The topic of the saintly person I had visited provided an
occasion for Baba to deal humorously, yet critically, with this
subject. At the close of the conversation, Baba looked straight at
me and gently, but with an air of divine authority gestured,
"Bal, know well, I am the Real One!"
What a blessing to have the Avatar declare His status directly
to me in such a way! Yet, for a dunce like me, the propitious
moment of grace which allows for total acceptance had not yet
come. What patience the Avatar has in drawing His people to
Him; what unconditional love!
The God-Man has a personal relationship with each of His
lovers, yet He lets it unfold very naturally. This relationship
becomes a channel through which He awakens love in the
hearts of His dear ones, for no heart can remain untouched by
His boundless concern, His infinite caring displayed in so many
impersonal yet intimate ways. And it is this love which leads
and helps His lovers finally to accept Him, without any doubts,
for what He is—the God-Man, the Prophet, the Christ—the
Avatar.
17
SECOND VISIT TO HAMIRPUR
DISTRICT BEGINS
1954 - PART II
Correspondence about Darshan Programs
To herald the beginning of the new year, at the stroke of
midnight on December 31, 1953, the church bells in Bombay
began to ring and railway engines stopped wherever they were
and began to whistle. People greeted each other in the
traditional way: "Happy New Year! Ring out the old and ring in
the new."
In general, there was great joy and merriment to greet the new
year, 1954, but little did the millions of people living in
Bombay realize how spiritually auspicious the start of the year
really was—for at that moment Avatar Meher Baba happened to
be staying in one of the Bombay suburbs and thus the whole
city was silently blessed with the Awakener's physical presence.
In 1953, Baba had spent a period of over nine months in
Dehra Dun, a town in the north of India near the foothills of the
Himalayas. On December 1, 1953, Baba with His men and
women mandali moved to Mahabaleshwar, a hill station in
Maharashtra, about 120 kilometers south of Poona. This was to
be Baba's residence, when He wasn't traveling, for the next
seven months.
That previous July, during a meeting at Dehra Dun, Baba had
casually remarked, "In December, I will be on the move." And a
tentative itinerary for darshan tours in Hamirpur District and
Andhra Pradesh (Andhra) had been chalked out. From July of
'53 onward, however, Baba had been very busy with various
aspects of His work, and although there was considerable
correspondence on the subject of Baba's upcoming darshan
tours, final dates had not been set.
Reaching Mahabaleshwar, Baba felt that after concluding His
intense spiritual work at Dehra Dun, and before beginning
18
SECOND VISIT TO HAMIRPUR DISTRICT BEGINS
the darshan tours, He would like to spend some time in a quiet,

secluded place in a very big city like Bombay. As He wished to
remain totally undisturbed, He did not want even His close
lovers and devotees to know about this brief change in His
plans.
Meherjee Karkaria and Nariman Dadachanji, two of Baba's
old-time disciples who lived in Bombay, found a beautiful two
story building in Varsova (Andheri), a suburb of Bombay, and
leased it for a month. Not only was it in a quiet secluded locale,
but it had a superb view of the beach and ocean only a few
hundred yards away. On December 30, Baba, with just a few of
His men mandali from Mahabaleshwar, arrived at Varsova.
Baba looked quite happy as He moved through the house that
Meherjee and Nariman had obtained for Him. The house itself,
and the wonderful view from the verandah, were ideal. After
staying there only four days, Baba felt so refreshed and relaxed
that He decided to return to Mahabaleshwar. The mandali were
used to such sudden changes in Baba's plans, and it did not even
occur to them to wonder at the reasons behind them. So, on
January 3, with practically the whole month still remaining on
their lease, the whole party left Varsova and by that evening
reached Florence Hall (also known as the Aga Khan's Estate) in
Mahabaleshwar where they were staying.
On their return, Eruch found that there were many letters
waiting for Baba's attention. Most of them were in reference to
the projected darshan tours. Baba lovers throughout Andhra
and Hamirpur had written to Baba, pleading with Him to visit
their towns or villages. They were all anxiously looking forward
to Baba's visit so they could have the Avatar's blessed darshan.
Touched by these loving invitations, Baba wanted to reach a
final decision as to exactly when these programs would be held.
So, on January 7, 1954, He sent the following express telegram
to Keshav Nigam, the group-head for the Hamirpur area, and to
K. Sastri, one of the four group-heads for Andhra:
Due to my own working, I definitely wish that either
19
programmes at Hamirpur and Andhra both be curtailed or

one of them be fully retained and the other postponed.
Therefore wire immediately after consulting workers and
lovers whether you would like curtailment of half the
number of days . . . of my stay for programmes or prefer
postponement . . . If curtailment of whole programmes
preferred then you will have the option to fix more houses
. . . for me [to visit]. —BABA
Within a week, K. Sastri cabled on behalf of KDRM (Baba's
abbreviation for the four main organizers He had appointed in
Andhra—formed by taking the first initial of their names:
Kutumba Sastri, Dhanapathi Rao, Ranga Rao and Mallikarjuna
Rao) the following:
Workers, lovers assembled yesterday at Rajahmundry
[and] resolved preferring curtailed programme [in]
February. Kindly intimate programme dates. Namskars.
In Andhra the summer sets in by the middle of March and the
Baba lovers there did not wish to delay Baba's visit until after
the rainy season. They were also eager to have Baba come in
February as this would give them the chance to celebrate Baba's
sixtieth birthday while He was in their midst. Perhaps the All-
knowing One, in response to this wholehearted, but unexpressed
wish, sent an immediate telegraphic reply on January 13, as
follows:
Reaching Bezwada [Vijayawada] February twentieth night
and leave Andhra fourth March. Accordingly arrange
Andhra programmes and if necessary add extra hours to my
daily house visits. Love to Andhrites. —BABA
About the same time, Keshav Nigam replied:
Due to rains and bad communication rural centres could
not be consulted. Paliwal is out [of town] while Shripat
Sahai is absent in spite of telegraphic intimations. Khare
prefers postponement now for full programme in future,
while workers and lovers of Hamirpur proper crave
curtailment, if full programme impossible. But all
20
equally surrender to Baba's decision and shall cheerfully

take it as for our best. Pray wire gracious decision—Keshav.
Baba looked pleased with the candid opinions of His lovers in
Hamirpur and dictated the following reply:
Andhra decided curtailment programmes which I have
accepted. Would also prefer Hamirpur curtailed
programmes in February on condition you, Khare, Shribhai,
Paliwal and other responsible workers feel that curtailed
programmes can be carried out satisfactorily, satisfying
even new ardent lovers, in all villages concerned. If
necessary you [may] curtail my stay in old places and add
extra hours of my daily house visits [in] new villages
contacting new ardent lovers. If curtailed programme
possible I reach Kanpur February third morning, leaving
Hamirpur District on tenth. Otherwise indefinite
postponement. Wire decision immediately. Love to
Hamirpurites. —BABA
After receiving Baba's long explanatory telegram, Keshav
contacted all the persons connected with Baba's visit and sent
the reply which was received at Mahabaleshwar on January 13.
We unanimously decided and [have] chalked curtailed
programmes opening third February [at] Ichhaura and ending
tenth noon at Mahewa. Pray wire approval for general publicity.
Details follow—Keshav.
On the same day, Baba sent His reply of approval to Keshav
and asked His lovers in Hamirpur to go on with the necessary
arrangements for His second visit. In fact, this was a real test for
the Baba lovers in Hamirpur as they had barely two weeks to
make all the preparations to receive, in a befitting manner, their
Beloved Master, Meher Baba.
The telegraphic communication quoted above will give
readers a little flavor of one of Baba's ways. He would
sometimes encourage His lovers to help in the planning of some
21
program—to freely express all their ideas and views on the

project. This would continue sometimes for months and then,
unexpectedly, Baba would ask them to make a final decision in
a very short time.
This characteristic method of Baba's stirred up many emotions
and even brought His lovers into conflict with each other. For
example, owing to the curtailed program, the organizers in
Hamirpur and Andhra had to cancel Baba's visits to some towns
or houses which had previously been arranged. Often this meant
displeasing their friends and neighbors of many years standing.
Thus the organizers became the targets of criticism and had to
bear the brunt of people's dissatisfaction with their
arrangements.
Sometimes this was too much for them to bear, and they
complained to Baba about the attitude of the others. Baba
comforted them by saying that their withstanding such criticism
made Him happy. Baba commented that by trying to observe
His instructions, they were trying to please Him rather than their
friends and relatives and He appreciated this devotion. Love
gradually links the lovers to their Beloved while it unlinks them
from others. It has often been observed that those who come
into the orbit of Baba's love have to be ready for many changes
in their lives with Him and in their relationships with others.
The Avatar is the most unpredictable One!
Baba's last minute change of plans often created confusion in
the minds of some of His lovers, but this process also has
helped Baba lovers develop a one-pointed faith in Baba which
enables them to face unexpected situations in life with a
courage compounded of His love and His presence. Meher
Baba, as the Avatar, is timeless, Infinite Consciousness and, as
such, He continues to play this sort of game with some of His
lovers even to this day. Truly, the God-Man's relationship with
His lovers is inconceivable!
22
Easy to Write; Difficult to Do

In the middle of January, Kishan Singh sent a letter to Baba
requesting to be allowed to accompany Him on His darshan
tours. Baba not only permitted him to do so, but even asked him
to be at Mahabaleshwar a week in advance. This permission
turned out to be of tremendous benefit to Baba's lovers as
Kishan Singh maintained a day to day diary of Baba's second
visit to Hamirpur and Andhra. A considerable portion of this
book is based on that account.
Another person, who had recently met Baba, also sent a letter
asking to be allowed to accompany Baba and His mandali
during the upcoming darshan tours. Under Baba's direction,
Eruch sent a reply and the excerpts from it, given below, will
help others to better understand what Baba expected of those
who wanted to stay with Him. Baba did not impose rules on His
followers, but when some, on their own, expressed a wish to
stay with Him, even for a short period, He gave them certain
guidelines to observe implicitly. The prerequisite for staying
with Baba was an earnest, voluntary and implicit acceptance of
Baba as the Beloved Master. Eruch wrote:
Before you join Baba He wants you to make a firm
determination that you absolutely surrender to His will so that
you forget your own self and live only in the presence of Baba
all the time; Baba wants you not only to forget your own self
but [to] die to your own self, once and for all, only to live for
Baba and live only to obey Him implicitly and willingly.
When you stay with Baba, He wants you to stay in such a
manner that you should not let your presence be felt around you
nor should you suggest to Baba anything [unless asked] . . . If
you agree to this then come to Bombay on 1st February '54 and
[also] inform Adi [at Ahmednagar] accordingly.
In short, Baba wanted those who wished to stay with Him to
wholeheartedly and totally accept Him as God in human form.
Meher Baba's directions, mentioned in Eruch's letter, stand
23
equally good today for those who love Baba or who would want
to love Him as the Eternal Master.
The person who wrote Baba, on getting Eruch's reply,
answered that he wished to offer himself totally to Baba and to
serve His divine cause. Yet, within a year, he left Baba.
Although it was easy for him to write, "I will obey," it proved
difficult for him to do. A saint was once asked, "When does one
become a servant of the Lord?" and he replied, "When one is
free of self-interest."
Meditation: A Delightful Companionship with the Divine
A Baba lover from Andhra, interested in concentrating on
Beloved Baba's form in a traditional way, requested Baba to
give him special instructions. Baba gave Adi directions on how
to reply, the gist of which is given below:
At the beginning of your meditation, Baba wants you to sit
before a large photo of Him. Look intently at Baba's picture and
try to fix His form in your mind's eye, so that even when you
close your eyes the image remains vivid. If you feel that the
image of Baba's form has faded, open your eyes and again fix
your gaze on His picture. While doing this repeat, "Parabrahma,
Paramatma." Don't involve any other yoga practice or try to
awaken the kundalini. Let your meditation be only on Baba and
for Baba.
You should also know well that these instructions are only for
you and you should not advocate this practice to others. Baba
sends His love and blessings to you.
Baba did not discourage those who were already devoting
regular time for meditative practices from continuing their
efforts. I personally know two people who led ascetic lives;
Baba periodically gave one of them special instructions to
follow, while He asked one of the mandali to send the other a
specific amount of money every month, for years, so that the
person could continue his routine of meditation without
worrying about having to provide himself with the bare necessi-
24
ties of life.
In general, however, Baba would remark that simply
remembering Him with love, as much as possible during the
day, in a most natural way is the best meditation. Some people
find it difficult to believe that meditation can be as simple as
that. I admit that, before coming to Baba, and even in my early
association with Him, I placed a heavy premium on the outward
postures and forms of meditation. I had read Swami
Vivekananda's book, Raj-Yoga, with great interest. I was also
deeply drawn to one of the greatest yogis of India, Sri
Aurobindo, who was residing at Pondicherry on the southeast
coast of India.
Pictures of Lord Shiva, as well as rishis, sitting in the lotus
posture, with half closed eyes and a look of absorption in
something beyond this world, were among my favorites. I
thought spirituality without yoga postures and trance/meditation
was no spirituality. I presumed that unless one had occult
experiences, visions or revelations, the way to spirituality was
closed. At the time, I was more concerned with becoming
oblivious of the world than I was with longing to love God
while living in it.
As the years passed, I had more opportunities to be in Baba's
sahavas and I gradually discovered that although
yoga/meditation helps some people to get closer to God, for
most people these practices are not practical. Baba did not
condemn the path of meditation, but He stressed that life
becomes spiritual only to the extent that one brings God's
presence into it, and lovingly offers all one's actions to Him.
The various meditative practices are, in a way, like steep
spiral stairs leading toward God. And the different methods
used for concentrating one's thoughts are the steps one has to
climb. But this climbing entails effort and often brings one into
conflict with one's worldly duties.
Life, including the various practices of meditation, is a
journey from manyness in Illusion to the Oneness of Reality.
Periodically, however, Reality descends into Illusion in a
human form, as the Avatar or God-Man. His name and His form
provide a direct path to Reality for one and all. His
25
coming among humanity is like an elevator to God being

installed. When one remembers the God-Man, it is as if one is
stepping inside the elevator and, depending on the intensity with
which one calls on Him, one is lifted that much closer to Him.
One can still attend to all of one's worldly duties; there need
not be a division between the worldly and the spiritual. One
should not shun the world, but make it spiritual by dedicating
one's actions to the Avatar. Thus, one's inward journey becomes
not a matter of mechanical effort, but a natural and spontaneous
remembrance of the One whose love makes it easy. Our
meditation on Him becomes a delightful companionship with
Him, overflowing into praise and gratitude.
As Francis Brabazon wrote in The East-West Gathering:
Sing! O sing Meher's Name;
ring, heart-bells, his boundless fame.
He is God and he is Man,
at his Nod the world began.
He is Truth and All-beauty,
he is true Infinity. 11
As one remembers the Avatar and sings His praise, the
heart—a lute with seventy-two thousand strings (veins) as it is
referred to in yoga books—becomes tuned and eventually one
finds that even the common things of life strike a responsive
chord and a melody of His companionship is sounded. Such
"music" gradually inspires the individual to place one's entire
life, as a love offering, at the service of the Avatar—a heartfelt
wish to live and die for Him. Such meditation becomes an
unbroken discovery of pleasing the Avatar by taking refuge in
Him.
In the early '70s, a Baba lover from the West requested Eruch
to share his views on the subject of meditation. Eruch wrote:
Meditation has to serve but one purpose—to steady the mind
of the aspirant, to make one think less of one's self, and
eventually to make one forget totally one's false exis-
11
The East-West Gathering, p. 49.
26
tence. If, on the contrary, meditation were to remind one of

his/her self, then the purpose of meditation is not at all served.
One has to beware not to become attached to any form of
meditation, for meditation would then become a ritual!
Meher Baba has revealed to us who lived with Him that true
meditation is to remember Him constantly in all our everyday
life and acts; whether we eat or drink, feast or fast, attend to
nature's call or take a bath, whether we are busy in the office or
with business, or relaxing in bed, whether we are meditating at a
place or making merry, resting or moving about, we should
always think of Him and have Him always as our constant
Companion. There is no better meditation than this!
This is spontaneous meditation. There is no set time, place,
posture, principle or austerity for this meditation where every
breath is dedicated to His remembrance. Eventually we totally
forget ourselves and live in His Grace alone. Blessed indeed is
such a life!
Baba Leaves Mahabaleshwar for Hamirpur
In the third week of January 1954, Eruch informed Adi of the
final dates for Baba's darshan tours in Hamirpur and Andhra.
Adi wrote Baba asking to be excused from these tours as his
health was not good and, in addition, he had to attend to a lot of
correspondence. Baba, however, directed Adi to report to
Mahabaleshwar immediately.
So, on January 26, Adi was in Mahabaleshwar. Baba gave Adi
some general instructions about work at the office and also at
Meherabad. Baba concluded by telling Adi that although he
could miss the Hamirpur tour, he had to accompany Him when
He went to Andhra, no matter what. Not only that, but he was
ordered to come to Mahabaleshwar on February 19, the day
Baba was to leave for Andhra, to drive Baba to Poona where
they would board the train for Vijayawada.
For the Hamirpur trip, Gustadji, Ramjoo, Jal (Baba's
27
brother), Pendu, Eruch, Aloba, Kumar, Bhau and Kishan Singh

were to accompany Baba from Mahabaleshwar. Baidul had
been previously sent to Poona by Baba for some work and was
supposed to rejoin the group there. In addition, Sadashiv Patel
(also known as Patil), along with Dhake, Chhagan, Sidhu,
Savak Kotwal, Yeshwantrao and Krishnaji were also to join the
party at Poona. Meherjee was to meet and accompany them
from Bombay onward, while Nana Kher and Pankhraj of
Nagpur were allowed to join the mandali at the Itarsi railway
station.
Before leaving Mahabaleshwar, Baba told the mandali that in
the upcoming programs, thousands of people would come for
His darshan and hundreds of them would rush to get closer to
Him, to touch Him, especially to bow down at His feet. Baba
also conveyed that His health was not good and that it would be
the responsibility of those traveling with Him to carry Him as if
He were a "flower" so that after the darshan tours of Hamirpur
and Andhra, He would arrive back in Mahabaleshwar still fresh
and blooming.
In addition, Baba gave specific duties to some of those going
with Him. During this tour, Eruch and Meherjee were to remain
close to Baba. Eruch had to read Baba's board and interpret
Baba's gestures, while Meherjee had to always be with Baba
whenever He traveled anywhere by car. Chhagan, with Sidhu's
help, was to see to Baba's food and other personal needs.
Pendu was appointed the "controller of movements."
Arranging the exact times for the darshan programs at all the
various places, making the transportation arrangements from
one place to another for Baba and His party, all this was Pendu's
responsibility. Ramjoo was supposed to compile whatever
extemporaneous messages Baba gave while Kishan Singh was
to keep a day-to-day diary.
Kumar was designated as the commanding officer (C.O.) and,
with the help of other mandali members, he was to lead Baba
safely to the dais for each program. He was also supposed to
control the crowds during the programs if they became too
restless or, in their loving eagerness to see Baba,
28
left the darshan queues and tried to rush toward the stage where
Baba was sitting. This was quite a responsibility for if Baba
were a "flower," He was also intent on contacting the masses
and letting as many people as possible benefit from the
fragrance of His love.
On February 1, Baba left Mahabaleshwar for Poona. After
being joined there by the others, they all traveled to Bombay
where Baba had a short rest at Nariman and Arnavaz's flat,
Ashiana. As instructed, Meherjee joined the group here and they
all left for Victoria Terminus where they were to catch the
Pathankot Express which was scheduled to leave at 11:00 P.M.
A coupe had been reserved for Baba.
A small group of intimate Baba lovers had gathered on the
platform to greet their Beloved Master. For a time, Baba, with a
pretty garland around His neck, quietly sat on a seat near the
window—His eyes flashed with love as He received the
salutations from His dear ones in Bombay. As they looked at
Baba's radiant face, their hearts were moved to their depths.
Soon, the guard, in his spotless white uniform, waved a green
flag and whistled. This was the signal for the passengers to
board the train and for the visitors to say their final good-byes.
It was hard for some Baba lovers to check their tears; when love
fills the heart to the brim, it overflows through the eyes—a
natural expression of love reciprocated.
As the train pulled out of the station and picked up speed, it
settled into its usual rhythmic clickety-clack; but this was not a
usual train, for this night it was carrying the Avatar of the Age.
A little over a year earlier, in November 1952, during a phase of
His work known as the Fiery Free Life, Baba had visited
Hamirpur for the first time. And the hearts of the Hamirpurians
had indeed been set on fire; they had been longing ever since to
have Baba's darshan again. In response to their silent call, their
intense longing, the Divine Beloved Himself was irresistibly
drawn to return, to dispense once more His love and blessings
to His dear ones there. The second darshan tour to Hamirpur
had finally begun.
29
Language of the Heart

According to a discussion held earlier with Keshav Nigam at
Dehra Dun, Baba's visit was to end with His visiting Ichhaura, a
small village in the district of Jalaun. Subsequently, the
program had been changed and now Ichhaura was to have the
honor of being the first village Baba would stay at on His tour.
Thus the last did indeed become the first!
Those who wish to follow the Timeless One have to be ready
to cheerfully accept and adjust to the pathless path of love—a
path which is not a matter of direction, but an attitude of
surrender to the Will of the Beloved. Nor, usually, is the Will of
the Beloved made explicit; it is conveyed and received only
through the language of the heart.
Leaving Bombay for Ichhaura on the night of February 1,
Baba and the mandali reached Orai at 3:00 in the morning of
the third. Keshav, Pukar, Baghel (R. S. Singh Baghel) and other
Baba lovers from Hamirpur joyfully received their Beloved
Master. Baghel was given the responsibility of making
arrangements for Baba's brief halt of three hours in the town.
Baghel, an advocate, lived in Orai. A day or so prior to Baba's
arrival, he noticed a mast—a person overpowered by love of
God—near the dharamshala which he had reserved for Baba
and the mandali. This particular mast was regarded as the
spiritual chargeman of a large area. As Meher Baba explained in
The Wayfarers:
Certain masts and certain salik-like pilgrims are known as
spiritual chargemen. . . . Such a man sees to the spiritual
and material welfare of the place of which he is the spiritual
chargeman. The spiritual chargeman in a small place is a
mast, but in a large place he is a salik-like pilgrim, and in
some centres of peculiar importance the chargemanship is in
the hands of both a mast and a salik-like pilgrim. 12
About such people we can say with Francis Brabazon that
although "drunkenness" is their nature, "sobriety" is their
12
The Wayfarers, p. 37.
30
duty. Meher Baba's contacts with the masts, including spiritual

chargemen, is another subject altogether. To me it seems that
Baba was like a divine dynamo generating infinite power and
the masts were like transformers, stepping down the current of
His love to voltages which ordinary people could make use of.
In this particular case, the mast's sudden appearance at the
dharamshala right before Baba's arrival seemed directly related
to Baba's impending visit. Baghel took this as a sign of
welcome, in a spiritual sense, to the Avatar. After Baba's visit,
Baghel found that this mast never returned again to Orai.
Tea and a sumptuous breakfast refreshed those who had been
traveling for two days on the train. At about 6:00 in the morning
of February 3, before leaving for Ichhaura, Baba was pleased to
give the first message of the tour:
God does not listen to the language of the tongue or the
mind; He listens and responds to the language of the heart—
the song of love for God, the Beloved.
To love God, we have to keep ourselves ever present
before Him and never be absent from Him. While
discharging all our duties—thinking all thoughts, speaking
all words, doing all deeds—we have to remember Him as
the source of everyone and everything.
Baba's above words, expressed mostly through His simple
lively gestures, formed a theme which was to be repeated
throughout the subsequent darshan programs, and perhaps this
was an indication as well as to what the darshan tour was all
about. For Baba's visit to Hamirpur was itself a response to the
language of the heart of His lovers there. He was personally
going to them so that they could learn to remain with Him all
the more in their hearts. Baba, as the Beloved, was not only
responding to their songs of love for Him, but He was also
bringing them new melodies to sing.
At the end of His message, Baba gave all a loving smile and
then signaled that it was time to board the bus which was to take
them on to Ichhaura.
31
Ichhaura: "Prem Teertha"

Ichhaura is only 15 kilometers from Orai, but in 1954 this
whole area was largely undeveloped. The only road between
Orai and Ichhaura was an unpaved, dirt track with no bridge
spanning the Betwa river which separated Ichhaura on one side
from the small village, Teekar, on the other. However, out of
their great love for Baba, the villagers had toiled very hard,
personally repairing and improving the road so that Baba's car
would be able to pass without difficulty.
As Baba had many places to visit and little time, it was
essential that good transport be arranged for Him. Baghel had
hired an old bus for Baba's party, and a good jeep for Baba. But
the very night Baba arrived, the wealthy owner of the jeep,
despite his promise to make it available to Baghel, sent the jeep
and its driver to Punjab. Apparently, he had just heard of an
opportunity to make a lot of money smuggling illicit drugs and
so forfeited his opportunity to be of service to the One who is
priceless.
The man, as it turned out, did not make any money either, as
the police found out about the smuggling, the driver fled and the
jeep was seized by the authorities. Thus the man lost both
materially and spiritually. God proposes, man disposes!
In 1929 during Baba's second visit to Iran, a bus had been
hired to take Baba and the mandali from Bam to Duzdab. Baba
gave specific instructions that the bus should be reserved
exclusively for His party and should not even carry anything
belonging to anyone else. As they prepared to leave, the driver
took along two bags of almonds, although he had been told of
Baba's instruction. But the bags were light and didn't take up
much room so he felt it would be okay. Baba looked displeased
but didn't say anything.
The journey, however, soon turned into a nightmare for the
driver as the bus kept constantly and inexplicably breaking
down. Eventually it dawned on him that his troubles might be
due to his disobedience of Baba's order. He saw Afseri, one of
Baba's mandali, and confessed his mistake. He begged Afseri to
plead for Baba's forgiveness for him, as he felt too ashamed
32
to now show his face before Baba. Afseri, however, led him to
Baba who not only forgave him, but advised him, "Never break
a promise. Be true to your word, to whomsoever you give it."
How much more this applies when one voluntarily dedicates
one's life to Baba, determined to live His message of Love and
Truth.
Resuming the account, on February 3, Baghel learned that the
jeep would not be available for Baba and, naturally, he was very
upset. When Baba inquired as to their means of transport to
Ichhaura, he dejectedly and helplessly replied, "No means,
except an old bus." But Baba, the Omniscient and the
Compassionate One, knowing full well Baghel's sincere efforts,
assured him, "Don't feel sorry; don't worry. I will travel with the
mandali in the bus."
Baba got in the front seat and all His people quickly seated
themselves in back and they all started off for Ichhaura. They
hadn't gone very far when the bus, attempting a turn from a
canal bridge to the canal road, hit an obstacle in the road and
stopped. The driver was about to restart the bus and try to move
forward when someone happened to glance out the window and
saw that they were on the very edge of a ten foot deep pit which
had been dug to get earth with which to repair the road.
Anxiously someone yelled to the driver to stop. There was
much excitement and many comments about how close to
disaster they had come, but Baba was very calm and serene. He
simply smiled and told the driver to put the bus in reverse. Soon
they were once more on their way.
The bus reached the village of Teekar which was on the banks
of the Betwa river. No program had been planned here, but
when Baba got down and sat on a small carpet which had been
spread under a pipal tree for Him, the villagers lined up for
darshan. Among them was a poor man who had come with his
two-year old son clinging to his neck. The boy, due to paralyzed
eye lids, had been blind from birth.
Baba casually asked the man what he wanted and he
impulsively replied, "Baba, please, give sight to my child."
Baba gestured, "What is there in the world worth seeing?"
Looking
33
at Baba with his tear-bright eyes, the man replied, "My son
could see You if he had sight." I do not know if the simple
villager even knew the depth of his reply, for in illusion the
form of the God-Man is the only thing worth seeing, but Baba
seemed touched by this spontaneous response and blessed the
boy.
Later, on a similar occasion, Baba remarked that the only
"sight" worth longing for, was the sight which would enable one
to see God, and that this was equally accessible to all, whether
one was blind or not.
With the passage of time, the paralysis disappeared and the
boy was able to raise his eyelids and see. Being skeptical about
such things, before including this incident in the narrative I
verified the details with a Baba lover who is living in that area.
He confirms that not only did this happen, but that the boy is
now a healthy young man with good vision.
When the villagers learned that Baba wanted to go to
Ichhaura, with great enthusiasm they began volunteering their
bullock carts to take Baba. But just then, Prabhu Dayal Khare
from Ichhaura arrived and informed Baba that he had already
arranged for 40-50 bullock carts to carry Baba and His party
across the river to Ichhaura.
Soon Baba's cart, rigged with a cloth covering to protect Baba
from the sun, could be seen at the head of the procession. The
others climbed into the other carts and the long line of around
forty carts slowly moved off.
It was a sight for the angels to witness. As the God-Man's
caravan proceeded at its stately pace, Kishan Singh in his diary
wrote that some were reminded of Muhammad, the Prophet
leading His camel caravans through the desert centuries before.
To the jingling of the bells the bullocks wore around their
necks, the carts wound down to the Betwa.
Coincidentally, February 3 that year happened to fall on the
amavas (the no-moon night) of Magh, (one of the months in the
Hindu calendar). According to tradition, it was on this day that
the twelfth "Poorna Kumbha Mela" was being held at
Allahabad. Millions of pilgrims, at that very moment, had
gathered there to bathe at the confluence of the Ganges and
34
the Jamuna rivers.

As Baba crossed the Betwa river, He sanctified it by dipping
His hands and the toes of His right foot into the water. Baba's
face seemed suffused with a golden glow and He looked so
divine that even His physical body seemed to be made of some
heavenly substance. To all around Him in that special intimacy
His smile created, Baba confided, "The Lord of the universe is
here, in Betwa, with His dear and near ones, while the masses
are all crowding together at Allahabad."
After crossing the river and reaching Ichhaura around 10:30 in
the morning, Baba was garlanded by His lovers and arti was
sung in His praise. At its conclusion, Baba conveyed, "Today, I
am giving one of the most important days to Ichhaura; this has
become a sanctified place in my love. In the future thousands
will gather here to bathe in the Betwa." Baba renamed the
village and the area down to the banks of the Betwa as "Prem
Teertha."
Prem means love and teertha literally means anything
sanctified by God. But generally it refers to something liquid. A
solid offering to God is usually referred to as prasad, while a
liquid one is known as teertha. In India, any place of spiritual
importance, especially if it is situated by a river, is known as
teertha kshetra (kshetra means place). By naming this particular
site "Prem Teertha," Baba was, perhaps, emphasizing that those
visiting this place would reap the blessings of His love.
Prabhu Dayal and the others felt themselves very fortunate
and extremely blessed to be in Beloved Baba's divine presence
at this historic moment.
Baba Asks for Forgiveness!
It was arranged that, while in Ichhaura, Baba would stay in
Shriramcharan's house, and His people would be accommodated
in the rooms adjoining a Rama temple. On His arrival, Baba
ordered some water to be brought from the Betwa for His bath.
Then He visited the temple where the mandali were staying.
During this short visit, Baba silently strolled back
35
and forth in front of the statue of Rama. All became enveloped

in His Divine presence. Then He sat on a small parapet in the
temple compound and lovingly accepted the garlands brought
by some of His lovers. Baba's silent touch plucked the secret
chords of His lovers' hearts. It was a silent and moving
occasion.
In the evening, Baba walked through a part of the forest which
lay just outside the village; only Eruch accompanied Him on
this walk. When Baba returned, He issued a typically
exceptional order that that night, February 3, not only His
people, but all the inhabitants of Ichhaura, young and old,
should observe complete silence as He wished to do some
special spiritual work on that night of the amavas of Magh.
Prabhu Dayal, Pukar and Keshav Nigam informed everyone
in the village of Baba's order and emphasized the importance of
obeying it literally and wholeheartedly. The villagers were most
willing to do their part in Baba's cause and lovingly cooperated.
The entire village was united in their effort to obey Beloved
Baba. What a blessing for them all!
For the previous two years, a person by the name of
Kalicharan had been living in Ichhaura. Kalicharan was a
harmless but seemingly mad person who wandered the streets
speaking incoherently and collecting bread which he begged
from people. Although he lived in the village, he was not of it;
he lived in a world of his own.
When Baba was there, Kalicharan went to Him and begged,
"Bhaiya roti dey" (Brother, give me bread). Baba gave him real
food by laying His hand on his head and also giving him a
sweet dish as prasad.
Thereafter, the villagers found that Kalicharan would
sometimes talk about Baba. These talks were impossible to
follow but invariably he would end them with a loud shout of
"Meher Baba rey ki jai," which was his version of "Meher Baba
ki jai." Some years later, when Kalicharan died, someone
brought this news to Baba's attention. Baba remembered him
and remarked that He had given Kalicharan liberation. Thus,
Kalicharan turned out to be a lucky lunatic.
The outer standards of life and ways of living are not the
36
criteria for judging someone's inner spiritual relationship with

God. Baba sees beyond appearances, to the longing in the heart.
On February 4, Baba gave darshan to all. A small platform
was built in Shriramcharan's house. It was decorated nicely with
paper banners and a bunting of woven leaves. Near the house
was a tree laden with bunches of sweet berries. Baba learned
that some of His people had eaten the berries and this displeased
Him. He asked Prabhu Dayal to call Shriramcharan and also all
of His people.
Shriramcharan, when he learned what all the excitement was
about, very humbly folded his hands to Baba and said, "Baba, I
am yours. The house is yours and so also the berry tree is yours.
The mandali are also yours. The berries they ate belong to you,
not to me." This reply did not seem to please Baba, however,
and looking stern He conveyed, "While it is true that the whole
Creation belongs to me, still my laws have to be adhered to by
all. It is not good to take anything that does not belong to you
without the consent of its worldly owner. Some of my people
have failed to observe this simple rule."
Baba paused for a while. Then He joined His palms together
in namaskar and, with an air of great seriousness about His
face, looked at Shriramcharan and gestured, "On behalf of my
people, I ask your forgiveness." All looked at Baba in
speechless wonder.
Baba's solemn mood made those concerned feel very deeply
that they had indeed erred in tasting the berries without asking
permission. The sight of Baba, their Beloved Master, humbly
apologizing on their behalf made a lasting impression on them
and brought home to them for all time that they had to be
scrupulously particular in all matters, however seemingly
insignificant. Baba was always very particular that none of His
lovers should ever take advantage of any one in His name, even
in simple things. Perhaps Baba's humbling of the mandali was a
lesson, not only for them, but for any who go out to do Baba-
work.
It has been observed by Baba's close disciples that on some
occasions when He wished to accomplish some special spiritual
37
work on the inner planes of consciousness, there would be a

sudden change in Baba's mood that often precipitated some
unexpected and dramatic situation involving some of the dear
mandali as well. In the above case, one of Baba's dearest
disciples, Gustadji, was included among those asked to be
present during Baba's apology even though Gustadji had only
tasted a single berry which had fallen to the ground.
At any rate, after the apology was made, Baba's mood seemed
to lighten and by 8:00 that morning, He took His seat on the
platform to give darshan, His divine beauty and purity radiating
from His face.
Prabhu Dayal read out a simple yet animated welcome
address. In reply, Baba gave an equally simple and loving
message to the villagers who were fortunate enough to attend
this small program.
Baba reassured them:
I am happy to be here among you. Try to love Me
wholeheartedly and you will begin to find that I am always
with you and that I ever live in you.
Baba then gave prasad and His darshan to all the eager
villagers who had assembled. A little later He visited four
houses in the village.
A car and a bus were supposed to arrive early that morning to
take Baba and party to Nauranga. But, owing to heavy rains, the
roads, even though they had been repaired earlier by Baba
lovers, had become completely impassable. The villagers of
Ichhaura immediately put their bullock carts at Baba's disposal
once more. Some of Baba's party were worried that another
long journey by bullock cart would not be good for Baba's
health as such a ride is very bumpy and uncomfortable, but
Baba's love for the people of Hamirpur was so deep that He
smilingly agreed to the arduous journey.
On February 4, therefore, after lunch at about 2:00 P.M., Baba
and party once more got into the bullock carts. While leaving
Ichhaura Baba gestured that it had a high spiritual atmosphere
and that He wanted to stay there longer but He couldn't as His
darshan schedule had already been fixed.
38
Recently Prabhu Dayal visited Meherazad. He related how his

contact with Baba had greatly changed his entire life. He
belonged to an Arya Samaj family which did not believe that
the Infinite God could assume a finite human form; they did not
even accept Rama or Krishna as the Avatar. But Baba's
presence performed a miracle in Prabhu Dayal's heart. Baba's
loving look went deep into his consciousness; it evoked within
him a feeling of love and peace. From then on, he found that
Baba's presence would return to him whenever he would
lovingly remember Him. So he came to accept Baba in time, not
just as his Master, but as the Avatar, God in human form.
In fact, his one-pointed devotion to Baba was so great that he
had no room in his heart for another and so he never got
married. Although outwardly he led an ordinary life of a
primary school teacher, his free time was always spent in the
inner joy of remembering Beloved Baba. The day Baba
sanctified the Betwa and renamed Ichhaura as "Prem Teertha"
was a memorable say for Prabhu Dayal. So much so that for the
last thirty-one years, every amavas of Magh, he returns there to
commemorate this unique and glorious occasion.
Thus Baba's second visit to Hamirpur had a most memorable
beginning—declaring Himself the "Lord of the universe" on
February 3, having the entire village of Ichhaura observe
complete silence that night, apologizing on behalf of the
mandali—the darshan tour seemed to be filled from the first
with a profound spiritual significance.
39
DISCOMFORTS AND DELIGHTS OF THE
HAMIRPUR DARSHAN
1954 - PART III

The Avatar's Whim Has Rhyme and Reason
Traveling with Meher Baba was an unforgettable experience. In
many ways it was like one's inner journey to Him made
manifest and, perhaps, intensified in the process. Sometimes, all
of one's resources—physical, mental and emotional—were not
only brought into play, but strained to the utmost. However,
these occasions were suffused with a sense of divine purpose
and fulfillment.
But if one's mind and body and emotions were overtaxed,
one's heart often experienced an exhilarating sense of delight
which belied the restrictions and hardships one traveled under.
Perhaps this is why people were eager to journey with Baba
whenever He traveled.
Up to Ichhaura, Beloved Baba had agreed to travel in bullock
carts, but He did not seem at all pleased that the car and the bus
had not arrived as planned. Gaya Prasad Khare, a local Baba
lover, was to be Baba's host at Rath. He was also the proprietor
of a local bus service and owned two buses and a car. His son,
Adarsh, was in charge of the transportation. But Adarsh was
with the bus and car heading toward Baukhar and there was no
way to get in touch with him. Everyone was upset at the
inconvenience caused to Baba by the absence of the vehicles.
Sripat Sahai Rawat, known as Shribhai, was sent out on cycle
by Baba's Hamirpur lovers to find out what had happened to
them.
The road from Ichhaura to Nauranga was not, in the real sense
of the word, a road at all. There were irrigation canals in that
area and a dirt track had been scraped out parallel to them (with
bridges periodically crossing the canals connecting these tracks)
to facilitate their inspection by the government canal inspection
officers. These "roads" had been
40
DISCOMFORTS AND DELIGHTS OF THE HAMIRPUR
DARSHAN
repaired by Baba's lovers so that His car could travel over them,
but recent rains had destroyed the results of all their labor.
Shribhai, after cycling for some miles, returned with the news
that the roads were so muddy that he had had great difficulty
traveling on them with his bike and that it seemed highly
unlikely that a car or bus would be able to reach them from
Nauranga. So, with some hesitation, Baba and His party again
got into the bullock carts and started off.
The journey, however, soon proved to be a rather perilous
one. The path in places was quite steep and very slippery with
mud so that the carts slid from side to side and, at times,
threatened to overturn completely. Fortunately, the entire party
made it to Baukhar, a village approximately six kilometers from
Ichhaura, without a mishap.
Baba had arranged to give darshan here, but as the village
was small, the Meher lovers there thought it would be best to
hold the darshan program at the Government Canal Inspection
House, which was located just outside the village. One of the
villagers, a devotee of Baba's who worked as a land surveyor,
agreed to the proposal but he didn't have the authority to open
the house itself for anyone's use. So it was decided to simply
use the verandah.
Shiv Prasad and some of the other Baba lovers of Baukhar set
up a platform there but, to everyone's surprise, when Baba
arrived He insisted that a carpet be spread on the ground in front
of the verandah and it was from here that He gave darshan. The
radiant peacefulness and beauty of Baba's face filled the open
air. He gazed at the assembled villagers with a loving look and
gave the following message:
Consider Me as one of you and try to love Me. But do it
honestly, because God wants honesty. If you love Me, you
will find Me in your hearts and homes. I give you My
blessings.
Although the Baba lovers were naturally overjoyed to have
had Baba's darshan, still some were troubled that Baba had
refused to use the platform on the verandah of the bungalow.
They had put their hearts into decorating it nicely and they
41
wondered if they had done something to displease Baba. The

reason became clearer the next day when a high government
official visited the Inspection House and came to know of
Meher Baba's darshan program. He remarked that the local
Baba lover did not have the authority to give permission for the
verandah to be used for any purpose whatsoever and he reported
the incident to the head office, demanding that the land surveyor
immediately be transferred from Baukhar.
The surveyor explained that although he had arranged for
Baba to use the vacant verandah, in fact, Baba had given
darshan on the ground in front of the house. He apologized to
the officer and assured him that he would not do such a thing
again. But the officer continued to harass him and demand his
transfer.
Now it was clear why Baba, in His Omniscience, had refused
to use the verandah. He had inconvenienced Himself to protect
His lover. So many times it has been observed that Baba's
sudden decisions, which often entailed changing plans and
seemed inexplicable at the time, were always done with a
reason. Even what seems like a whim, when it is the Avatar's
whim, is full of significance. In this case, as the government
premises had not actually been used, the officer's complaints
against the surveyor were ignored by the head office and the
officer himself was soon transferred to a distant place!
This episode not only reveals Baba's compassion for His
lover, the land surveyor, but also brought home to the villagers
of Baukhar His omniscience. Even today, Baba lovers witness
Meher Baba's characteristic trait of making sudden and, at the
time, baffling changes in their lives. But experience eventually
convinces them that such unexpected "surprises" are for their
own good. The Avatar's whim always has its own rhyme and
reason.
"Elimination of the Ego is My Specialty"
After giving darshan at Baukhar, Baba called Keshav, Pukar
and the other main workers and asked whether the car and
42
DARSHAN
bus would come or not. Keshav and the others, of course, had
no way of knowing, but they assured Baba that the necessary
permits to use a private vehicle on the government canal
inspection roads had been secured and they were sure the
drivers were doing their best to traverse the muddy roads and
that eventually the car and bus were bound to arrive.
Baba was not happy with this answer. It was not the physical
discomfort which bothered Him, but the delay of traveling by
bullock cart was interfering with His spiritual work which was a
matter of great concern to Him. Baba declared that if the bus
and car did not arrive, He would be unable to give darshan to
the villagers on the way as originally planned, for it was
essential that He reach Nauranga by that evening.
All waited anxiously for the car and bus but when they did not
arrive, Baba and His people set off once more in the bullock
carts. Fortunately, they had only gone a short distance when,
near Islampur, they heard a car horn sounding in the distance
and shortly a mud-splattered car and bus were spotted lurching
over the road.
Adarsh Khare had left Rath, only 33 kilometers away, with
the bus and car at 6:00 in the morning so they could arrive in
time. It was now 3:30 which meant they had managed only a
little over three kilometers an hour! It had been only with the
greatest difficulty that they had traversed the muddy and, in
places, flooded roads. Adarsh, in fact, was actually feeling
triumphant that he had managed to bring the vehicles at all since
the roads were so bad. Excited with his success, he was not
prepared when Baba began to reprimand him for not having the
vehicles there on time.
As Baba took Adarsh to task, it came out that his father, Gaya
Prasad, had gone to Allahabad to bathe in the confluence of the
Ganges and Jamuna during the "Kumbha Mela." Although he
was planning to return to Rath before Baba arrived there, Baba
became even more displeased and conveyed, "Gaya Prasad
invites me to give darshan and then he himself goes to
Allahabad! What a pity!"
Baba then began to scold Adarsh once more for not having the
vehicles there earlier. Adarsh began to weep, not just
43
because of the reprimand, but because of the inconvenience that

Baba had undergone in traveling by bullock cart.
But to what extent Baba was truly displeased with Adarsh is
hard to know. It has been noticed that Baba sometimes
expressed His displeasure at the way His orders were carried
out, even when a person did his best to obey them. Perhaps this
was done in order to wash away any feeling of egoistic pride
that the person might have developed at having successfully
accomplished the work entrusted to him.
Baba once told an English reporter, "Elimination of the ego is
my specialty." He sometimes used to say, "Other ashrams are a
vacation—nice, quiet meditation, yoga, etc. Here we do real
work." This work is sometimes painful but is nonetheless
necessary. The trick in doing something for Baba is to do one's
best but know well, if one succeeds, that it is His will and His
working which have accomplished that success. We have to be
very particular about doing Baba-work, but without the thought,
"I did it."
In the case of Adarsh, Baba soon relented and forgave him.
He even embraced him with that sudden beaming happiness of
His which had the effect of completely banishing any lingering
feelings of unhappiness or guilt that the one scolded otherwise
might have had.
Baba's Love Revives a Dead Tree
The journey from Baukhar to Jarakhar (a distance of about
twelve kilometers) was a lot smoother now that the bus and car
were at Baba's disposal. At Jarakhar Baba visited the hostel of
the Meher Baba Junior High School which was founded and run
by Baba's dear Shribhai. The students and teachers alike had
labored in building the hostel. In its foundation they had
respectfully placed a brick which had been touched by Baba and
given to them during His previous visit to Jarakhar on
November 26, 1952.
Baba now inaugurated the hostel by cutting a ribbon of
flowers, strung across the door. Instead of sitting on the dais
44
DARSHAN
that had been erected, Baba sat on the floor with the students.
Then tea and sweets were served to all. At this small and
informal gathering, Baba gave the following message:
I feel very happy today because of what My dear Sripat
has told me about the students, school and hostel here. I
wish that along with the secular education, the students
should also learn to love God who is the only Reality. I give
My blessings to them for this. My love and blessings to you
all.
Although Nauranga was only five kilometers from Jarakhar,
Baba made a slight detour and visited a tiny village, Dhagwan,
on the way. Dhagwan was the home of one of Baba's people,
Vishwa Nath Sharma, known as Vishnu Singer. He had first
heard of Baba from Babadas, one of Baba's mandali who, in the
'40s, had traveled extensively through the Hamirpur District
telling people about Meher Baba. Vishnu first accepted Baba as
a Perfect Master and later as the Avatar of the Age. Vishnu
worked with a burning heart in Baba's Divine cause and tried to
please his Lord, Avatar Meher Baba, by composing and singing
songs glorifying Baba's love.
To reach Dhagwan it was necessary to leave the canal roads
and cut across the open fields. Once again the love and longing
of the villagers to have Baba's darshan was touchingly evident
as they had worked tirelessly to make the paths through the
fields passable. They had even put red flags along the route so
that Baba's car would not mistakenly make a wrong turn onto
some local bullock track.
Even so, as it was now getting dark, the driver missed the turn
and approached the village from the wrong side. Just as they
neared the village, they heard a lot of people shouting at them to
stop. They did so and thus narrowly averted falling into a deep
ditch which was a little ahead of them. They had to backtrack to
find the right turn and then approach the village again, from the
right side this time.
Baba did not actually enter the village itself. A little way
outside, Baba stopped the car and sat under a withered
sheesham tree to accept the homage of the people for a little
while.
45
Actually the whole stop at Dhagwan was somewhat

impromptu. Maybe it was the love of the villagers which
touched Baba's heart and prompted Him to allow His car to be
driven across the fields in answer to their longing. Love is a law
unto itself.
After giving darshan, there was no time for the people to
perform arti. But, as it turned out, Baba sat in the car for a while
giving instructions to one of the mandali, and this gave the
women devotees their chance to perform Baba's arti to their
hearts' consent. Perhaps, Baba's instructions were given
precisely for that reason! Baba then continued on His way to
Nauranga.
A few days later the villagers were astonished to observe that
the withered sheesham tree, under which Baba had sat, was
suddenly putting out new leaves and beautiful yellow flowers.
Since then, this tree has continued to be healthy and even to this
day (1985) is flourishing. There is now a platform built around
its trunk, commemorating Beloved Baba's visit and His life-
giving love which made even the barren tree under which He
sat, revive and blossom.
This brings to my mind another incident which occurred years
later in Madras. In 1930, while visiting the home of C. V.
Sampath Aiyangar, Baba planted a tree there. It soon grew into
a huge majestic tree. Later when Baba gave darshan in Madras
in 1947, He was led to the tree so He could see how large it had
grown. A parapet had been built around it and Baba sat on this
and leaned back with His head resting against the tree's trunk.
Several beautiful photos were taken of Baba in this position.
But, in 1968, it became obvious that something was seriously
wrong with the tree and horticulture experts were consulted.
They all agreed that the tree had dried up and should be
uprooted. The Aiyangar family would not consent to this and
said that the tree had to be saved somehow. The experts said it
was impossible. The tree had been planted by Baba so the
family decided to write Him, although He was in strict seclusion
at the time. They sent Him a letter explaining the whole
situation.
The very next day they were astonished to see a tender green
46
DARSHAN
leaf flutter at the spot where Baba's head had rested against the
tree. Was it just a coincidence or a prompt divine response?
Soon the entire tree sprouted new leaves in a spectacular display
which left the horticulturists amazed. If Baba's love can revive
withered trees, just think what it can do for any heart that is
given to Him. Truly Baba's love, compassion and omniscience
are unfathomable.
Baba in a Subterranean Meditation Chamber
Baba reached Nauranga at 9:00 that night. He and most of His
party were put up in a basic primary school while a few stayed
in a pandal outside the hut of Narsingh Das. The next day,
February 5, will remain as one of the most significant days in
the history of the village, for it was on this day that Beloved
Avatar Meher Baba majestically strolled through the streets of
Nauranga, accepting the homage of the villagers as God and
visiting their homes as a Friend.
Babu Ram Prasad (Babuji) was the main host. When Baba
went to his house, it was crowded with relatives. Babuji
introduced his family to Baba and then Baba asked him about a
young woman standing at the back of the crowd whom Babuji
had forgotten to introduce. Babuji explained that she wasn't
actually one of his family, but came from a nearby village. She
had had many troubles there and was finally forced to leave her
husband and seek refuge elsewhere. Babuji had generously
granted her space in his house to live.
Baba called her near and gave her some prasad. He lovingly
consoled her, told her to remember Him daily and assured her
that everything would be well and that all her troubles would be
over in around fifteen days, and she would be able to return to
her village then.
Although Babuji had not thought to introduce this woman to
Baba, Baba, being the friend of the forlorn, seemed to know she
was there. And, just as He had said, within two weeks all of her
problems were resolved one by one and she returned to her
village not long afterward.
47
Baba's visit to Nauranga was marked by His informal visits to

the homes of His lovers. He seemed completely at ease as He
walked through the streets, visiting now this person's home,
now another's. As Baba strolled through the streets, His divine
effulgence seemed to flow from Him in delightful waves. The
villagers were overjoyed to have Baba in their midst in this
way. His every gesture or movement was so captivating, so
enchanting, and suffused with divine meaning. Many of the
house visits had been arranged previously, but some Baba
visited spontaneously.
This happened in the case of Lala Ram Bharose. He lived in a
very poor dilapidated house which happened to be on the route
Baba was taking. Lala Ram wanted Baba to visit him but he had
been too shy to express this wish to Babuji. When Babuji was in
the process of leading Baba to the next scheduled visit, Baba, on
His own, stopped and entered Lala's house. The mandali had
taken a short cut to the next house, but Baba sent word that they
should all return. Baba gestured, "Love has drawn me here."
With great joy Lala and his wife performed Baba's arti and
distributed plums afterward. Baba instructed the mandali not to
throw any of the plum away but to eat it all (excluding the pit of
course). Baba's gracious response to the call of love is
immediate.
One of the places Baba visited in Nauranga was unusual. This
was the subterranean meditation chamber of Narsingh Das, a
saintly ascetic. In the floor of his hut were stairs dug out of the
ground, leading down some twenty feet to two rooms. There
was another tunnel going down an additional ten feet to a small
niche (4' x 3') carved out of the side of a deep well. The niche
had originally been made for those who wanted an isolated spot
to meditate. Access and egress was effected by means of a rope
from the top of the well. It served as a ventilation shaft for the
two rooms Narsingh Das had excavated. In the larger one, Baba
and the mandali gathered while Narsingh Das performed Baba's
arti.
The great love and devotion that Narsingh Das expressed
touched all present. Baba gestured, "Whenever you remember
48
DARSHAN
Me wholeheartedly as you have done today, I will be here with
you."
"Say, 'Baba! May You Never Forget Me'"
After visiting a potter's house, Baba went to Dillipat's home. In
honor of Baba's visit, all the women in the family stood at the
gate with large earthen pitchers (used for carrying water) on
their heads. On top of these pitchers were placed small clay
lamps, each with a wick burning in it. The women were singing
devotional songs. It was a touching sight.
As Baba entered Dillipat's home, a smile illuminated His face
and His eyes flashed with such brilliance that His divinity
seemed to be contained therein. After arti was performed,
Dillipat poured out his heart in adoration to Baba, his Beloved,
and then began to weep bitterly, saying, "Baba, you are God,
the Ocean of purity. I feel ashamed to say that although I try to
love you and remember you, impure, lustful thoughts
sometimes assail me and I feel greatly disturbed."
With infinite compassion, Baba told him not to feel upset
about such thoughts. He gestured, "Do not worry. I will help
you." And Baba lovingly offered him some prasad with His
own hands. This filled Dillipat's heart with confidence to remain
unaffected by his unruly thoughts.
When a wick in the heart is lit with Baba's love, it should be
kept burning by remembering Him with the deepest gratitude.
One finds then that the temptations of the world gradually fade
away. With Baba's reassurance, Dillipat felt his faith gloriously
fortified and his heart glowed with new hope.
Baba also visited the home of Hiralal who had great love for
Him. Although a special space had been made for Baba to sit,
He sat on the floor like one of the family. With a beaming
smile, Baba expressed His happiness to be in Hiralal's house
and asked him if there was anything he wanted. "Ask Me
anything and I will give it to you," He gestured.
After a moment's hesitation, Hiralal replied, "Baba, I don't
know what to ask for. My mind is all confused." Baba then, on
49
His own, lovingly guided Hiralal. "Say, 'Baba, although I might

forget You, may You never forget me'." Hiralal then repeated
this request. When he finished, Baba made His graceful sign,
"Given." Perhaps this is an indirect but meaningful indication as
to what we should ask Baba.
Baba wanted to stay in Hiralal's house a little longer so He
asked Amar Dan, a qawwal, to sing some good songs on love.
This made the atmosphere even more charged with Baba's love
and some of the people were moved almost to tears while one of
them broke down and wept uncontrollably.
At Lal Diwan's place, Baba ignored the decorated seat outside
the house and walked in and sat on a charpai (a wooden bed
strung with thin rope). Meanwhile two men stood outside and
fired a volley of rifle shots in Baba's honor which He enjoyed.
At Badri Prasad's home, Baba again preferred to sit on the floor
with the family instead of the chair that had been placed for
Him.
After these two visits, Baba continued to move through the
village but in a car. At one spot the car passed a group of
women who were standing in the road ready to perform arti to
Baba. Seeing their obvious disappointment as the car passed
them, Baba told the driver to stop and then got down and
walked back so that the village women could have their hearts'
desire of performing His arti fulfilled. Then He continued
walking to give a chance to some of the other women who were
also hoping to worship Him in person.
"My Religion Is Love"
Nauranga seemed ablaze with love for Baba. Kishan Singh
wrote, "In fact the whole village was having a touch of ecstasy
. . . . It seemed as if the whole sky was echoing and reechoing
the loving song, "Welcome to our dear Lord Meher Baba."
After lunch, around 2:00 P.M., there was a public program
which lasted most of the afternoon, during which some 5,000
people took Baba's darshan. At such a time, Baba's eyes
especially seemed full of love and life, and sometimes what can
50
DARSHAN
only be described as a divine splendor seemed to radiate from
them. The villagers rushed forward eagerly to see Baba, as the
Avatar's human form and face, each time He comes, is Divinity
personified in its finest design. Baba distributed prasad to all
and then gave the following message:
Although I appear to be silent, I speak through you all. I
am ever silent and everlastingly speaking, but the time has
arrived when I will soon break this apparent silence and
then those who love Me will see My Real Self. Take the
prasad of love that I give with love, eat it with love and the
seed of love will be in it.
The Baba lovers of the village, out of their love for Baba
which this visit had awakened, decided to build a place of
worship on the very spot where Baba had given darshan. To
help them get over the conventional ideas of temple and
religion, Baba named this place for them as "Meher Dham"
(Meher House). A year later, Baba sent one of His mandali to
lay the foundation stone of Meher Dham. After five years, Babu
Ram Prasad installed a life-size statue of Avatar Meher Baba
inside Meher Dham. At the time of its inauguration, Meher
Baba sent some profound messages to be displayed on the inner
walls so all who came to Meher Dham would read and ponder
over them. They are still there today and in part they read:
I belong to no religion. My religion is love.
Always remember that ceremonies cover Me but pure
worship reveals Me.
All those who surrender themselves in love to Me will see
and adore and realize the Reality behind My form.
The Perfect Master, Rumi, wrote the following two lines
which seem to refer to the Avatar's advent:
That Monarch Supreme had shut the door fast;
Today He has come to the door, clothed in the garment of
mortality.
The Avatar is Infinite Consciousness, clothed in human form
51
so all that humanity may eventually find the Infinite Reality

within themselves. The form of the Avatar is a bridge to the
Reality behind it, because when we think about His form, or
repeat His name, or remember any of the external details of His
life, we are inwardly traversing the path to our Real Self.
Meher Dham at Nauranga thus helps keep the memory of
Baba's visit to that village in the first week of February 1954
ever fresh and alive in the hearts of His lovers there. Of the
importance of places like Nauranga, in the district of Hamirpur
and elsewhere, we can say with Hafiz:
O Divine Beloved! Your foot-prints, on the ground You
have trod, will be places of worship, even for advanced
souls, for years and years to come.
A Special Form with Three Options
On the night of February 5, there was a qawwali program for
Baba and the next morning, the 6th, Baba left Nauranga for
Rath by car, while His mandali followed in the bus. Baba had
warned the bus driver several times that he should stay close to
Baba's car, but invariably the bus would fall behind. At one
point, with Baba's car out of sight, those in the bus found a
locked gate across the canal road. They had the necessary
permit to travel on that road but the gate keeper was not around.
They didn't know what to do and were anxious because they
knew Baba would not be pleased if they were delayed.
A little investigation showed that Baba's car must have gone
around the gate, going down a ditch and then up the other side
to rejoin the road. It seemed doubtful, however, that the bus,
with its much greater size and all of the baggage piled on top,
would be able to duplicate such a feat without toppling over.
Some of the Baba lovers on the bus got all their keys together
and started trying them in the lock on the gate, hoping that one
of them might just open it, but to no avail. Finally, after half an
hour or so, they devised a scheme for driving the bus around
52
DARSHAN
the gate and, with everyone's help, despite a few tense
moments, they succeeded in getting onto the canal road and
were soon hurrying to catch up to Baba's car. A typical
adventure while traveling with the Avatar!
Gaya Prasad Khare was Baba's host in Rath, but Baba stayed
at the residence of the principal of the B.N.V. Inter College.
After lunch, Baba visited the College where Swami
Brahmananda, who had founded that institution, welcomed
Him. Baba expressed His appreciation of the Swami's efforts to
serve the people by providing them with educational facilities.
Such service, Baba explained, is an aspect of love for God.
Two years earlier when Baba had visited Rath for the first
time (November 1952), the darshan program held then had
been one of the largest given in the whole Hamirpur District.
This year, the darshan program held on February 6, at 3:00
P.M. was not that large. Baba's face however beamed with
affection as He took His seat on the dais and the faces of His
dear ones sitting near the platform sparkled like fresh flowers
after a springtime shower. Part of the message which was read
out to those assembled is as follows:
I have come down from the Highest to your level. So take
Me to be yours and naturally, automatically, you become
Mine. . . . I have come down to your level and if, on that
level, you love Me with all your heart, you will come to My
Real level, because I am in you all. . . .
Before leaving Rath, Baba gave a sort of forewarning to the
mandali traveling with Him. Just as He had reprimanded some
of them for eating berries without asking the owner's permission
at Ichhaura, now, in a general way He admonished some for
being lax in their duties. With a serious look, Baba added,
"Today I want you all to understand one thing. You all have
been given duties, and Pendu is the 'controller.' You all must
cooperate with him." Baba went on to warn that in the ensuing
Andhra tour there would be so many people pressing forward to
have His darshan, to touch Him, that unless the mandali were
more diligent in attending to their duties and in cooperating
with Pendu, there could be unfortunate incidents.
53
In 1952, before going to the West, Baba had sent Eruch and
Pendu to travel around India disseminating His message of
Love and Truth. During their travels, if they found someone
whose heart seemed overflowing with love for Baba, they
would give that person a copy of a certain form they carried
with them. This form had four separate categories to be
checked. The person receiving the form was supposed to sign it
and check whether they were willing to dedicate their money,
their property, their service, or their very life to Baba. 13
Similarly, in December 1953, about a month before Baba left
for Hamirpur, Keshav Nigam, at Baba's request, had a form
printed in Hindi which was distributed to Baba lovers in the
Hamirpur District. Once again, there were options, each
indicating a different level of commitment to Baba.
The first option was to be checked only by those who were
ready to completely renounce all worldly attachments so they
could be free to do anything Baba wanted and who were willing
to give their lives for Baba if need be.
Those who were partially, but not completely, free from their
worldly responsibilities, but who were willing to do any sort of
work that Baba asked them to do, without sacrificing their lives,
were to check the second option.
And the last option was for those who had many pressing
worldly commitments but who were nonetheless willing to do
anything Baba asked in whatever spare time they had.
After leaving Rath, Baba reached Dhanauri. It was here that
Baba had called a meeting of all those who had signed one of
the options in the form given them by Keshav.
Darbar-e-Khas at Dhanauri
Several times, during Baba's Hamirpur tour, He emphasized the
importance of the meeting to be held at Dhanauri which He
referred to as darbar-e-khas (special session of the court).
Earlier, Baba had given instructions that a quiet place be found
to hold it in, because He did not want any interruptions
13
See Glimpses of the God-Man, Meher Baba, Vol. III, p. 113ff.
54
DARSHAN
or disturbances once the meeting was under way.
That morning Baba made some visits to the homes of His
lovers and then was led to the place where the darbar-e-khas
was to be held. When He saw that it was near the pandal which
had been set up for the public darshan, He was not at all
pleased. Baba considered this site totally unsuitable for such an
important meeting and so the primary school in the village was
chosen as an alternative. However, the school proved to be too
small to accommodate all the lovers who had checked one of
the three options. In addition to this, the school was open on all
sides.
Baba was upset and gestured, "I wanted to hold this meeting
where we would be free from all disturbances from outside.
This place, the school, is totally unsuitable. It seems the
organizers did not realize the importance of this meeting."
Baba asked all those who had chosen either of the last two
options to leave. When this was done, He then asked Keshav
Nigam whether all those who had volunteered for the first
option were present. Keshav said that all who had come to
Dhanauri were present but that two people had not yet arrived in
town. Baba looked displeased and conveyed through gestures,
"These are the lovers who wish to dedicate their lives to me,
yet, from the very beginning, there is not 100% obedience to a
simple instruction—to be present here at a certain time. If the
foundation is weak, the whole structure will collapse. Those
who have expressed their readiness to completely renounce
their worldly attachments and have signed the form, did not
realize the significance of the opportunity given to them by
Me."
Baba then turned to one of those present and asked, "Are you
ready to give your life for me?" The person replied, "Yes,
Baba." But Baba was not mollified; He still looked serious and
annoyed over the absence of the two who had signed the form
but had not arrived in time for the meeting. Baba gestured, "My
mood has been spoiled."
Baba then canceled the whole meeting, commenting that if
they could not even follow the preliminary order, given through
Keshav to be at Dhanauri on the 7th, they would
55
undoubtedly fail to follow any of His subsequent orders. Baba

pointed out that if they couldn't obey Him in such simple things,
they would never be able to give their very lives for Him. It was
their enthusiasm which had prompted them to check the first
option, Baba remarked, but mere enthusiasm was not enough as
it lacked real strength of heart.
Baba continued, "People give their lives for their families,
their friends and for their country, but to give one's life for
Baba's cause is a different matter entirely." Baba explained
further, "I have not assumed human form to give darshan, or so
that people can perform my arti, or puja. The angels have been
doing that for me for ages; those things don't interest me. I have
come for a different purpose. Now I will have to do my work
personally with and through my mandali."
Seeing the distress on the faces of His lovers, Baba softened
the blow of the meeting's cancellation by assuring those present
that they shouldn't worry about renouncing the world; they
should simply go on attending to their every day duties but
while doing them, from now on they should try to think of
Him—their main concern should be to love Him. This love
should reach such a pitch that their hearts became mad with
divine agony and yet there shouldn't be the least element of
show in it.
If this was not possible, Baba explained, then the next best
thing was for all to attend to their worldly duties, but with the
understanding that they were doing it all for Baba. And if they
could not do that, then lastly they should serve the people
without any desire for name or fame. Baba continued:
The essence of lok-seva [service of the people] is to give
happiness to others at the cost of your own happiness. But,
in a sense, true lok-seva is that which inspires others to love
Me because in loving Me they shall find everlasting
freedom.
Baba concluded with a remark that the meeting He had
wanted to conduct that day at Dhanauri would have to be held
in 700 years when He came again. Baba then embraced all who
were there individually. Most of them were weeping
56
DARSHAN
because Baba had felt it necessary to cancel the meeting in
which they had expected Him to accept them in His cause.
To console them, Baba repeated that they should simply
continue to do their duty but all the while remember Him more
and more. It did not occur to all those who were so terribly
disappointed that in declaring that He would have to hold the
meeting in 700 years, Baba was perhaps indirectly promising
them that they would be with Him when He comes again! Of
course this is only a guess. Unfathomable are the Avatar's ways,
but every disappointment always bears within it the seeds of
even greater future happiness.
"Who Are the Mandali?"
After the postponement of the darbar-e-khas, Baba left the
school to give darshan to the public and the villagers. During
such darshan programs, Baba would sometimes converse with
the mandali and workers who were on the dais with Him, seeing
to all the small details that had to be attended to. As someone
approached, Baba might, for example, ask one of the mandali if
the person had been given the message which He had wanted to
give to him. Or Baba would remind someone that they should
notify a certain person about a meeting which was to be held
later.
One of the reasons Baba occupied Himself with such concerns
may be that if He hadn't, if He had simply sat there, silently
focusing His full attention on those before Him, His presence
would have been too great for people to endure. Baba once
remarked that the hardest thing for Him was not to reveal His
glory, but to conceal it. Yet, out of His compassion for us, He
took pains to do just that, so that we might have the courage to
approach Him on our level.
As Baba took His seat, His divine radiance enveloped the
crowd. His message for this particular program was:
I am now one of you. I am on your level. Wherever you
find yourself, I am there too. I am small, big, poor, rich,
57
illiterate, literate. . . . Try to love Me and make Me yours,

because already you are mine.
As the darshan program continued, one of Baba's close ones
asked Baba just exactly who the mandali were. This question
was prompted by Baba's earlier remark during the abbreviated
darbar-e-khas that He would now have to do His work
personally and with the mandali. In the midst of the busy
darshan program, with messages being read out and translated,
and Baba singling out certain individuals for special attention,
He found time to gesture, "The main thing is that there has to be
a feeling of intimacy on both sides. To be one of the mandali,
one must feel intimate with me, but at the same time, I too must
feel intimate with them."
Baba added that those people who had been staying with Him
for years and who asked for nothing were His mandali. He
concluded:
The mandali are those intimate ones who are prepared to
sacrifice their all for me. The one who gives his life to Baba,
and leads a life totally under His guidance, who does not ask
for any kind of reward, who does not care what happens to
him—whether he is ruined or whether he prospers—and
who takes pleasure in pleasing Baba is one of the mandali.
As there were several other villages Baba planned to visit that
day, He did not distribute prasad as He usually did at a darshan
program. Baba told those assembled that because people were
waiting for Him en route, He could not stay longer or distribute
prasad. "Take my prasad of blessings," Baba gestured as He
stood, raised his hands in blessing to the crowd and then left the
pandal. Baba got into the car but there were so many people
crowding about it, hoping for one more glimpse of His radiant
form, that Baba compassionately got out and climbed on top of
the bus to give all there His darshan. Even so, the people were
unwilling to disperse, so eager were they to have another few
moments in the God-Man's company.
It proved very difficult to get the car and the bus out of the
58
DARSHAN
crowd. Baba called for Kumar, whom He had appointed as C.O.
(commanding officer) to deal with such situations. All took up
the cry for Kumar but it turned out he was on the bus which had
been pushed aside so that Baba's car could pass. Later Baba
admonished Kumar for neglecting his duty and told him that
thereafter he should take care to see that he was always near
Baba in case he was needed until Baba got into His car.
On the other hand, Kumar knew that once Baba started to
leave, He wanted all the mandali to board the bus quickly so it
could follow Baba's car without delay. That was why Kumar
had gotten in the bus as soon as Baba's car had started to move.
To live with Baba and please Him was not an easy thing!
Traveling with Baba was no vacation, but an arduous and
exacting ordeal wherein obedience was taken for granted and
what counted was the degree to which one could happily forget
oneself in pleasing Baba.
The mind has a tendency when confronted with orders from
anyone to question, or to justify one's inability to comply.
Some, ever after their hearts have been drawn into the love orbit
of Meher Baba, find it difficult to cheerfully subordinate their
will to His. But the life of those who live with Baba, and the
way of love for any who wish to please Him is, as Francis
Brabazon's ghazal illustrates, quite different:
Mind demands proof of what is entirely beyond mind.
One day it will learn to sit still and not ask, and find.
Love delights in poetry and parables, of itself it is sure;

Mind demands the prose of logic because it is insecure.
Let the demander question and sort—for trash is his

treasure.
The lover has another occupation—his Beloved's
pleasure. 14
14
In Dust I Sing, p. 48.
59
"AVATAR MEHER BABA KI JAI!"
1954 - PART IV
Rock-like Faith, Flame-like Love
When Meher Baba left Dhanauri on February 7, His tour of the
Hamirpur District was more than half over. It was filled with,
and characterized by, the humble love and faith of the villagers
who flocked to have Baba's darshan. Baba, in turn, was most
loving to them in an informal yet intimate way, and His
messages to them, which were given spontaneously, reflect His
compassion and constitute a rich heritage for humanity.
How awe inspiring to think that during that week in February,
God in human form was going from village to village in a
remote undeveloped area of India, revealing to the people the
profundity of His being the Infinite One in the utter simplicity
of love!
An hour after leaving the darshan program at Dhanauri, Baba
was in Muskara where He visited a junior high school. Every
such occasion, aglow with Baba's presence, was to its
participants a sacred, spiritual festival. It remained fragrant for
them with its lively associations. To the pupils, as well as the
villagers who had assembled to offer their respects, Baba
spelled out on His board the following few words:
I feel very happy to be among you all. I feel every one of
you to be Mine, and I want that every one of you should
make Me yours. . . . I am the Emperor of emperors, but I am
the slave of those who love Me. My coming here would be
worth it if you could love Me. I give you My blessings.
Although Baba had originally agreed to give public darshan
at nine different villages and towns in Hamirpur, He actually
ended up giving darshan at many more places. Whenever
people heard that Baba's car was going to pass by their village,
they would all congregate on the road hours before He
60
"AVATAR MEHER BABA KI JAI"
was due and invariably Baba would have His car stopped and
would give His love and blessings to them.
At Nahdaura, for instance, a day or so earlier, around 400
people had gathered on the road singing, "Jai Meher Baba, Jai,
Jai Meher Baba," and "Hare Baba, Hare Baba, Baba Baba, Hare
Hare." As Baba's car approached, a number of women from the
village came rushing forward. Baba gave darshan to all and just
as He was about to leave, another group of women was noticed
hurrying to the spot.
Baba got down from the car and sat on the ground and waited
for them, thus allowing those who were already there a few
more precious moments in His presence. When the women
arrived, Baba touched the head of one, an elderly woman, who
kept repeating "Jai" constantly, and blessed her with His touch.
Later, Baba casually mentioned to the mandali that there had
been something special behind that particular contact, but He
didn't elaborate further.
It is hard to estimate the number of people who had Baba's
darshan during this tour but it was obviously in the thousands.
Baba ended up stopping at most of the villages along His route.
At most places Baba distributed prasad with His own hands.
Wherever Baba went, the people, irrespective of caste, religion,
age, or sex flocked to Him and seemed overwhelmed by His
divine presence. As Kishan Singh writes: "It seemed as if the
Divine Saqi [tavern keeper] was busy making everyone
intoxicated with His wine of love. Poor and rich alike were busy
drinking this wine, forgetting all about their differences in
worldly status."
Yet when Baba reached Chhani, in the afternoon of the
seventh, only a few villagers were present. This was because
most of them, not being particular about time, had gone to a
nearby fair. They were having a good time, enjoying the
delights of the fair and entranced by a wrestling match being
held there, unaware that at that very moment Baba was sitting
on the verandah of the government village dispensary giving
darshan to the few who had stayed behind.
When the villagers learned that Baba had arrived, they came
rushing back from the fair. The rest of the wrestling
61
matches were canceled and over a thousand people ran back to

Chhani, arriving at the dispensary just as Baba had gotten in His
car and was starting to drive off.
The crowd surged around Baba's car and, despite requests
from the mandali, refused to budge. In fact, those closest to the
car probably could not have moved even if they had wanted to
as so many others at the back of the crowd were pressing
forward to try and get a glimpse of Baba. Seeing their
enthusiasm, Baba agreed to come out and give darshan if they
would all sit in an orderly fashion. Within five minutes about
fifteen hundred people were sitting quietly around a platform in
front of the dispensary. Baba, with His glowing eyes and a soft
radiance about Him, sat on the platform so all could see Him.
At such times, there often appeared on Baba's face a serene
sweetness which is impossible to describe but which melted the
hearts of all who were fortunate enough to witness it. Baba's
compassion and love were so divinely blended that the poor
villagers felt themselves immeasurably enriched at having His
darshan.
Baba dictated on His board:
If you have rock-like faith in God and flame-like love for
God, nothing in this world will affect you. Flattery will not
touch you, happiness will not humor you, misery will not
trouble you.
I give you all My blessings to love Me and find that God
alone is Real, and that will make you rise above this
imaginary phenomenon and make you understand that
BABA alone is Real.
At the close of this program, Nana Kher and Pankhraj sang
Baba's arti in Marathi, which had been composed by Dr. C.D.
Deshmukh. The refrain was, "Meher Baba, Sri Guruuraya. . . ."
(O Meher Baba, glorious majestic Master! Bowing down to
your feet, O Purifier, we perform your arti with the flame of
love.) This arti was sung throughout both the Hamirpur and
Andhra tours of 1954.
62
What Counts Where

After leaving Chhani, Baba reached Hamirpur that evening and
spent the night at a dak bungalow. Early the next morning Baba
was in the mood to give one of His infrequent discourses. He
dictated the following profound message to Meherjee, which
Eruch read from the board:
In the material world, every pie [cent] of money counts. In
the subtle world, every ounce of energy counts. In the
mental world, every force of thought counts. In the Beyond
state, only God counts, and in the realm of the God-Man,
everything counts as nothing and nothing counts as
everything.
By this time, more of the mandali had entered the room and
Baba continued:
God does not listen to the language of the tongue which
consists of jap, zikr and mantras. He does not listen to the
language of the mind which consists of thoughts about God
through meditation and concentration. He listens only to the
language of the heart which is Love.
So love God and become free in this very life. This love
can be expressed in various ways, ultimately resulting in
Union with God. The practical way for the common man to
express this love, while attending to every-day life's duties,
is to speak lovingly, think lovingly and act lovingly toward
all mankind, irrespective of caste, creed and position, taking
God to be present in each and everyone.
Later that morning, Baba paid visits to the homes of ten of His
lovers. In addition to the principal workers such as Keshav
Nigam, Bhawani Prasad and Rama Shankar, He also visited the
homes of a student named Ram Lal and an office boy, Imam
Ali. Pukar's flour mill was inaugurated by Baba visiting it and
pouring grain into it with His own hands. The mill was thus
started for the first time in Baba's august presence.
Although it was still only 9:00 in the morning, a large crowd
had gathered at the darshan ground. The sun was softly shining
63
and it was a glorious day. At public gatherings of this sort,

Baba's splendor radiated outward so that even those sitting in
the last line, at quite a distance from Baba, felt the warmth of
His intimacy. Each one had the impression that Baba was sitting
there, aware of their presence and bestowing His love on them
in a special personal way.
At such programs, in addition to the bhajans and artis which
were sung, local Baba lovers usually gave welcoming speeches
to Baba as well. Pukar's brief introduction on this occasion was
unusual as he began by confessing that in the past he had
discouraged his acquaintances from loving Baba. On several
occasions he had warned them against making the mistake of
surrendering completely to Baba. But now, he continued, he
realized his mistake. Baba was the fountain of love. To all who
were interested, Pukar now wanted to testify to Baba's
greatness. And those who scoffed, as he had done, would
eventually have to admit their own ignorance in failing to
recognize Meher Baba's Godhood.
As the crowd filed past, one by one, Baba folded His hands in
namaskar. Sometimes He would sit motionless, sometimes He
seemed preoccupied and the rapid movement of His index
fingers seemed to suggest He was working on the inner planes.
And then again, Baba would seem at other times to be fully
interested in what was happening around Him, familiarly asking
those who passed by about the members of their family—taking
a personal interest in them and making them feel that they held
a special place in His heart.
The message Baba gave to the public was similar to the
discourse He had given earlier that morning:
We are all one. Everyone—rich, poor, man, woman,
small, big, literate, illiterate—is entitled to realize the
Divinity that is equally within us all. And the only way to
know ourselves as God is by loving Him.
God does not listen to the language of the tongue. . . God
does not listen to the language of the mind. . . He only
listens to the language of the heart which consists of love,
and this love does not need ceremonies or shows, but only
64
silent devotion for the Beloved.

Infinite honesty is one of the aspects of God. So the least
hypocrisy creeping in ourselves keeps us aloof from God. I
am happy to be among you all and give you all My
blessings.
"By Your Love Make Me Your Slave"
From Hamirpur, Baba traveled to Inghota where He visited the
homes of the Paliwal and Nigam families; both were members
of the reception committee. It was at Laxmichand Paliwal's
house that Pukar, during Baba's first visit in November 1952,
saw Baba in the form of Rama. 15 It was a turning point in
Pukar's life, for it was this experience which led him to
wholeheartedly accept Baba as his Master.
After the house visits on the morning of February 8, 1954, a
darshan program had been arranged for that afternoon. It was a
common practice in the Hamirpur area to shower flowers on
Baba. Now, at Inghota, as Baba's car approached the darshan
grounds, the crowd lining the road showered it with flowers; it
seemed to be raining blossoms. As Baba entered the pandal,
flowers continued to be tossed on Him from all directions. It
was an incredible sight, like a soft fireworks display created out
of flowers!
A man named Varma got up and told the crowd that he had
come from Allahabad for Baba's darshan even though all his
companions had urged him to stay and bathe in the triveni (the
confluence of the three rivers—Ganges, Jamuna and
Saraswati—considered very holy) on the auspicious day of the
"Kumbha Mela."
He proclaimed that by coming for Baba's darshan instead, he
was bathing in the holiest triveni of all, and went on to impress
upon everyone how fortunate they all were to be able to avail
themselves of this rare opportunity to be in the God-Man's
physical presence.
Baba's message for this program was:
15
Glimpses of the God-Man, Meher Baba, Vol. III, p. 208ff.
65
The only Reality is to experience the Infinite within us.

We are all One. From the beginningless beginning to the
endless end, we all were, are, and will be One. I am within
you all. . . . I give you all My blessings so that you can love
Me and, by your love, make Me your slave.
Baba spent the night in Inghota and traveled the next morning
to Khanna, arriving there long before He was scheduled to.
There were very few people, therefore, standing near the place
that had been selected as the site for Baba's darshan. But when
the villagers saw Baba's car, they rushed to it. Baba gave
darshan to them, but as there were many who were still coming,
Baba walked straight into the interior of the village.
Here Baba sat on a raised platform in the street while the
villagers beat a drum which was their usual method of
announcing that all should assemble. Baba spelled out on His
board that instead of their coming to Baba, Baba had come to
them. He then proceeded to give darshan to one and all.
Fortunate people!
As Baba was returning from Khanna, He noticed that one of
His close ones, who had been ordered to stay near Him, was
leisurely walking behind. Baba called him forward and
admonished him for his negligence. It seems as if Baba was all
love for the masses, but a strict taskmaster for those traveling
with Him.
"Ask for My Forgiveness"
At Mahoba, which was the next stop on Baba's itinerary, He
visited the home of Ram Sevak Khare. There, at the urging of
Gaya Prasad, Baba participated in a very traditional Hindu form
of worship. In general, Baba would not perform such
ceremonies, nor did He encourage His followers to hold them,
yet out of love for Gaya Prasad, Baba agreed to take part in it
for awhile.
It was at Ram Sevak Khare's house that Janak Singh saw Baba
again. Janak lived in Nauranga but was going to school
66
at Allahabad. Janak's father, Babu Ram Prasad, was one of the

main workers for Baba in Nauranga. Janak had returned home
on February 3, with fruit and baked goods for Baba and His
mandali. Having had Baba's darshan at Nauranga, he was now
preparing to return to Allahabad. He had come to Mahoba to
catch the train, but when he learned that Baba was there, he
decided to take the opportunity to see Him again. So it was that
Janak saw Baba once more. Baba said that Janak should now go
straight back to Allahabad.
As Janak left the house, his friend Dillipat saw him and
inquired where he was going. Janak said he was going to catch
the next train for Allahabad. "But why not come to Mahewa
where there will be a program this evening?" Dillipat asked
him. This seemed like a good idea to Janak who was eager to
see more of Baba. In fact, at the exciting prospect of spending
the evening attending a Baba program, Janak totally forgot what
Baba had just told him about returning straight back to
Allahabad.
The thought that by going to Mahewa he would be disobeying
Baba never occurred to him. Nor is this surprising. After all,
Janak was new to Baba and he did not realize that Baba
sometimes gave orders in a rather off-hand manner, as if He
were merely making a suggestion. What makes it so hard to
obey Baba is that often one is not even conscious of disobeying
while in the very act of doing just that!
During the public darshan program at Mahoba, Baba had the
following message read out that afternoon:
Throughout eternity, My message has been of love for
God. If we love God wholeheartedly and honestly, we find
Him within ourselves. So I give you My blessings that at
least some of you may try to love God and find Him within
you. Then My purpose of being among you will have been
served.
On the way to Mahewa, Baba stopped at Ganhari, near the
Kabrai railway station where He visited the village junior high
school. He told the students there:
67
For you students two things are necessary—honesty and

humility. By humility I do not mean modesty, but that
humility which upholds greatness.
From Gauhari, the road to Mahewa is just a dusty bullock cart
track. The car and bus bounced so much on this road that it was
feared the vehicles' springs might give out at any moment. On
the way, Baba provided all with a little slapstick humor. He
ordered the car to stop and Kumar, whose duty it was to escort
Baba, ran from the bus to the car in case Baba was getting
down. Just as Kumar neared the car, Baba ordered the driver to
start again. So Kumar returned to the bus. But just as he got
there, Baba's car stopped again. Once more Kumar had to run
back to the car and, once again, just as he got there it started up.
This time, however, Kumar jumped and managed to land on the
carrying rack at the back of the car where he hung on as the car
lurched over the roads. Finally, Baba stopped the car and, in a
delightful mood, asked Kumar to go back and rejoin the others
in the bus.
As Baba's car drove along the road, He passed Janak who was
cycling the sixteen kilometers from Mahoba to Mahewa. Baba
had the car stopped and Eruch called Janak over. Baba asked
him where he was going. Janak replied that he was on his way
to Mahewa to attend the program that night. "Didn't I tell you to
go straight to Allahabad?" Baba demanded. Janak suddenly
realized his mistake and simply folded his hands to Baba,
standing there in embarrassed silence.
Seeing Janak too overcome to speak, Baba compassionately
prompted him, "Ask for my forgiveness," which Janak then did.
Immediately Baba forgave him and gave him a new order,
which was to attend the program at Mahewa that night! See
Baba's compassion. He not only forgives, but even reminds us
to ask for His forgiveness so that we can be freed from the
consequences of our mistakes!
68
Baba Hears a Lover's Silent Yearning

Baba reached Mahewa a little before sunset on the evening of
February 9. A small crowd of people had gathered to welcome
Baba. Spontaneously Baba on His own decided to sit with this
group for a while, giving darshan to those assembled. He
looked happy and His presence exuded a feeling of tender,
human closeness. At the end of this impromptu darshan, Baba
looked lovingly at the crowd and gestured, "It is your great
fortune that my tour of the Hamirpur area is ending here, at
Mahewa." Perhaps this was a prophetic hint of the unique
drama which was to unfold later that night.
Previously, Baba had told Keshav Nigam that He wanted a
selected few of His lovers to keep a vigil that night, staying
awake until the early hours of the morning. This was to take
place at Meherastana (astana literally means a threshold), a
wooded hilltop about a half mile or so outside the village of
Mahewa itself. There, a small clearing had been made and a kuti
(hut) constructed for Baba in November 1952 at the time of
Baba's first visit to Mahewa. This had been done so that Baba
could stay near the village and yet have a secluded place to
retire to.
Keshav, according to Baba's instructions, had prepared a list
of those who were invited to participate in the night vigil. As
people arrived for the program, all those who had not been
selected were asked to cooperate by returning to the village,
which they did, although some of them, naturally, went back
disappointed.
Baba arrived well before 9:00 and took His seat on a specially
prepared gadi in the kuti. He emphasized to the mandali and all
those invited that they would have to stay awake the entire
night. But to make it easier for them, Baba arranged for coffee
to be served several times throughout the night and also had
three qawwals present to entertain all and to keep the
atmosphere lively.
After finishing his supper at Mahewa, Janak Singh cycled the
short distance to Meherastana, but as he approached the clearing
in front of Baba's kuti where a pandal had been set
69
up, he was told he could not enter. Twice he approached and

twice he was turned away without being given a chance to
explain his situation to Keshav.
Others, who had similarly been denied admission, were
leaving the hill, taking the path that led back to the village.
Janak, Matrudatta Shastri and one other Baba lover, however,
decided to stay. Even if they could not join those under the
pandal, they thought at least this way they would be nearer
Baba and could enjoy His presence from where they were.
After a little while, Janak decided to try again to gain
admittance and this time a heated argument with Keshav
ensued. Eruch came over to inquire what it was all about. On
seeing Janak, he told Keshav that Baba had given special
permission for Janak to attend the program. Thus Baba made
sure that Janak didn't disobey His second order. What perfect
timing that Eruch happened to come by just at that moment!
This left the other two still waiting outside. As time passed
and it seemed clear that they were not going to be allowed to
enter, one of them became discouraged and went back to the
village to sleep. Shastri decided to stay on by himself.
Matrudatta Shastri came from a prominent Brahmin family in
Nauranga. He and his brothers were Shastris (Sanskrit
scholars). The three brothers became quite well known as
pandits in the Hamirpur District and M. Shastri became the
most renowned for his ability to recite the Bhagawata in
Sanskrit, the Ramayana by Tulsidas in Hindi and for his erudite
elucidations on both books.
He was in great demand at religious gatherings throughout the
district to recite from these sacred works and to explain the
spiritual truths mentioned therein. And he was handsomely
rewarded for his commentaries through the lavish gifts that
people presented to him. Matrudatta became so well-known that
he started his own school and soon had a group of Brahmin
students.
In 1952, during the mass darshan in Rath, he had Baba's
darshan for the first time. He was not convinced that Baba was
the Avatar, but that initial glimpse seemed to ignite
70
spark of longing for God within him and he began visiting

many famous places of pilgrimage. One time, on returning from
Hardwar, he confided to Janak, who also lived in Nauranga, that
although he had visited so many holy places and met so many
saintly personalities and holy men, he still wasn't satisfied.
In fact, all of Shastri's searching had only convinced him that
Meher Baba was definitely a great spiritual authority. He put
Baba's photo in his room and used to meditate on it. One day,
during his meditation, Baba appeared before him and revealed
that He was Rama. After this experience, Shastri felt that Baba
was not just a spiritual authority but God in human form, the
Avatar.
After this, Shastri began attending every program held by
Baba lovers throughout the Hamirpur District. At each program
he would give speeches in praise of Baba, affirming His
divinity. His brothers, and the other pandits in the area, became
quite upset. They told him to stop making such speeches and his
brothers said if he continued they would disown him.
His former students also deserted him for they could not
accept this change in their teacher. It was hard for them to
understand the depth of his faith in Baba. Many times in the
presence of other Baba lovers, Shastri was verbally abused by
the more orthodox in the community, but he would merely
humble himself and continue to tell one and all that Baba was
the Avatar. Some Brahmins excommunicated him and he gladly
accepted this, saying, "If they excommunicate me and my
family, I still have Baba, but if Baba were to disown me, I
would have no place to go!"
Ever since Baba had returned to Hamirpur, Shastri had been
following Him through every stop on the tour. Now he was
sitting alone at Meherastana, so close to Baba's kuti and the
group sitting in front of it under the pandal, but excluded from
their company. Shastri was silently yearning to be with Baba,
and Baba not only heard the cry of his heart, but He responded
to it—just as He had declared in the very first message He gave
in Hamirpur this time, "God does not listen
71
to the language of the tongue or the mind; He listens and

responds to the language of the heart."
Just as the program was about to begin, Baba asked Keshav if
all those selected had come. Keshav replied that they had. Baba
then asked Keshav to go out and see whether anybody was
hanging around outside the clearing. Keshav went out and
checked and reported that Matrudatta Shastri was sitting outside
the gate, whereupon Baba told Keshav to call him in. When
Shastri was informed of this he was overjoyed that Baba had
responded to his inner call of yearning and his love and faith
became still even deeper.
Ecstatic Night Vigil
At 9:00 on the evening of February 9, the night vigil began with
some devotional songs. The three qawwals proceeded to keep
the assembly spellbound while Baba's vibrant presence was
such that none felt sleepy. Baba sat on the gadi prepared for
Him in the kuti, while the others sat outside the hut, under the
pandal. Illumination had been arranged for the program with
the delightful result that all could see Baba.
In between songs, Baba would sometimes comment on the
profundity of the lyrics, or make a joke or send a message to
one of His lovers sitting under the awning. It is difficult to
capture the divine intimacy or the glorious atmosphere which
prevailed that night around Baba. His very skin seemed
translucent, glowing with a divinity which He could not
contain; yet His personal liveliness, wit and charm made all feel
that Baba loved them as individuals on a very human level. This
blending of the divine and human is the hallmark of the Avatar.
At some point before midnight, Baba told everyone to go
wash their faces and hands and then return within ten minutes
for prayers. Baba washed His own hands and, exactly at
midnight, all stood as Eruch read out the Prayer of Repentance
in English. Ramjoo then read its translation in Hindi and Dhake
in Marathi.
After the prayers, the singing continued but, if anything,
72
the atmosphere was even more charged. The sweetness in Aziz's

voice and the heart-touching ghazals he sang moved everyone
there. In Baba's presence, the songs took on deeper meaning and
no longer were merely words, but spoke the feelings of the heart
directly. One felt one's own love for Baba given expression in
those ghazals and songs and Baba's beaming smile of
appreciation made it clear that one's love was accepted and then
returned a thousandfold.
Vamanrao expressed the thoughts of many when he sang, "O
Parabrahma, Parvardigar, won't you please cast a sidelong
glance of Grace at me!" Then the solemnity of the atmosphere
was changed to lightheartedness by Amar Dan's comic story-
songs. His humorous acting as he narrated the stories kept
everyone in stitches and the hours passed quickly.
At ten minutes of 1:00, on the morning of February 10, Baba
called Keshav to Him and, referring to all those sitting before
Him, gestured, "You all have no idea what good fortune is
being granted to you at this moment!" Keshav, with deep
affection and reverence reflected on his face, folded his hands to
his Divine Beloved and said, "It is all your grace, Baba!"
Writing about this evening at a later date Keshav recalls:
At that time, Baba was in an extremely happy mood! His
fingers ran on the alphabet board and spelled the words:
'AVATAR MEHER BABA KI JAI' and He simultaneously
raised His right hand up to confirm that JAI. Baba also
declared in His extremely happy mood that it was for the
first time in this Incarnation of His that He had here openly
and clearly declared Himself to be the Avatar. He also
declared there that after dropping this body of His He would
come after 700 years again. By declaring His Avatarhood at
that particular spot of His creation, who knows what fortune
Baba granted to that place, Meherastana, and to me and to
the people there at that time.
A little bit after Baba had spelled out "Avatar Meher Baba ki
jai" on His board, Meherjee mentioned to Keshav that by the
Zoroastrian calendar February 10 was Baba's birthday. Keshav
shared this unexpected news with all sitting outside.
73
With this announcement an ecstatic feeling of love and

happiness swept through the hearts of all there.
Keshav was moved to spontaneously chant Meher Chalisa,
forty beautiful poetic stanzas of praise of Baba, which he had
composed in Hindi during Baba's first visit to Meherastana in
November 1952. Vishnu Singer then led everyone in a birthday
song, "Badhai gao aye hain Meher Avatar" (Let us rejoice and
sing: Avatar Meher has come) which he composed then and
there. At the conclusion of this song, the atmosphere became
even more intense. Kishan Singh writes in his diary: "This song
worked wonders over the hearts of all. . . and the atmosphere
was charged with love to such an extent that it was as if 'a bomb
of love' had burst." Vamanrao was sitting outside Baba's hut
weeping in ecstasy and Baba called him in and embraced him.
M. Shastri extemporaneously recited some Sanskrit verses of
welcome to the Avatar. Baba expressed His appreciation of
Shastri's recitation. The impact of the whole experience on
Shastri's heart was such that from then on he gave up all other
work and devoted himself to traveling from place to place,
telling people about Baba and declaring Him as the Avatar.
Vishnu performed arti to Baba and then recited the "O
Parvardigar" prayer in Hindi and almost all there spontaneously
joined in and chanted the prayer with him. Baba then called all,
one by one, into the kuti where He embraced them. As His
lovers entered that small hut, Baba's divinity was so palpable
that many were moved to tears. Baba's eyes seemed like two
pools of infinite compassion and as He embraced His lovers in
His arms, they embraced Him in their hearts. On leaving the
hut, some started reciting odes of praise to Him. It was truly an
ecstatic love feast for the heart and that night is enthroned in the
memory of those who were lucky enough to be there!
After all had had Baba's embrace, the night vigil ended. It was
now close to 5:00 in the morning, the time when, on February
25, 1894, the Avatar had taken birth once again to awaken the
slumbering heart of humanity.
Although he was not present, Francis Brabazon seems to
74
have captured something of the flavor of what transpired that

night and early hours of the morning in the following couplets:
By God! but those glances that the Beloved was flashing
Were nut-crackers to our hearts, and floods from eyes were
splashing.
Our beloved Master was hugely amused at the loving
quarrel
Of each singer with each, to outdo him and win the night's
laurel.
When the last cups were drained and song settled into a sigh
Young dawn was scattering rose-petals all over the sky. 16
Day of Demarcation
So overwhelming was the experience of being in Meher Baba's
presence at Meherastana during those early hours of February
10, that many who were there did not realize the deep
significance of what had just transpired: this was the first time
that Baba had openly introduced Himself as the Avatar in a
large public gathering of His lovers.
As early as 1921, Upasni Maharaj had said to Baba, "You are
the Avatar, I salute You," but Baba referred to His true status
only obliquely to His close ones. Although He had conveyed to
a few of His mandali in the '20s that He was the Avatar, they
did not comprehend the true significance of this remark.
In the early '30s during His second visit to England, when a
reporter asked, "Are you divine?" Baba answered, "I am one
with God, I live in Him, like Buddha, like Christ, like Krishna."
Kitty Davy's mother first met Baba at this time and she asked
Him, "How can I understand and love you?" Baba replied,
"When you pray, have my picture before you." "I have always
the picture of Christ," she responded, to which Baba answered,
"Keep looking at Christ's picture. It is the same."
In the late '40s, Jean Adriel wrote a book about Baba
16
In Dust I Sing, p. 116.
75
entitled Avatar, but its subtitle was: The life story of the Perfect
Master Meher Baba.
Until the mid-50s, Baba was unmindful whether people called
him a Perfect Master or Avatar or both. He seemed content to
let His lovers at large regard Him in any way they chose. For
example, during Baba's two darshan visits to Hamirpur and
Andhra, His lovers sang songs proclaiming Him as the Avatar,
but despite this, at the end of each program, Baba's arti in
Marathi praising Him as a Sadguru would be sung and then
everyone would shout, "Sadguru Meher Baba Ki Jai." Or
sometimes they would hail Baba as, "Avatar Sadguru Meher
Baba."
But February 10, 1954 serves as a day of demarcation. For on
that day Baba disclosed, not just to a few of His close ones but
to all that had gathered, that He is the Avatar. And after that
date, Baba always referred to Himself as the Avatar. He would
sometimes even tell the mandali who were writing replies to
letters His lovers had sent, that they should not just refer to Him
as Meher Baba but as Avatar Meher Baba so that His devotees
and lovers would be reminded of who He really is.
And in His book, God Speaks, which was published in 1955,
Meher Baba cleared away the confusion surrounding the terms
Sadguru and Avatar. He explained in detail the difference in
functioning, authority and status of the two. Although they both
share the same gnosis of "I am God," the Sadguru works for a
limited section of humanity while the Avatar's work is
universal.
Also, after dropping his body, a Sadguru eternally remains
consciously and individually as Infinite God, but never returns
to the world. It is only the Avatar who periodically assumes a
human form to awaken humanity to a realization of its true
spiritual nature. Even when the Avatar drops His body, He
remains accessible to all as the Master of masters, and resides in
the hearts of His lovers as the Eternal Beloved.
As Jesus said, ". . . I lay down My life that I might take it
again. No man taketh it away from Me, but I lay it down of
Myself. I have the power to lay it down and I have the power to
take it up again." (John 10: 17-18.)
76
It seems that the Avatar's public declaration of His

Avatarhood is an important event in His work and that there is a
divinely ordained moment, each time the Avatar comes, for
Him to make it. For years, Krishna allowed Himself to be
accepted by the cowherds as a playmate, by the gopis as a
companion, by His subjects as the king, and by some as the
Lord, but it was not until the battle of Kurukshetra that He
revealed His Universal Form to Arjuna and gave to the world
His teachings, as compiled in the Bhagavad Gita, which declare
that He is the Avatar.
Jesus's ministry in Palestine was very short, but even so He
was careful not to proclaim Himself as the Son of God, except
to His disciples or cryptically to the public. This can be well
seen from the passage in St. Matthew in which Jesus asks His
disciples who the people take Him to be. They replied that some
took Him for Elias, some for John the Baptist, some for various
other prophets. Jesus then asked who they took Him to be, to
which Simon answers, "Thou art the Christ, the Son of the
living God." After blessing Simon for this answer, Jesus then
"charged His disciples that they should tell no man that He was
Jesus the Christ." (Matthew, 16:20.)
It was only during His trial, before His crucifixion, that He
unequivocally affirmed His Divinity as He answered the
questions, "Are you the Christ?" by responding, "I am." (Mark,
14:62.) Although expressed in a different way, we can also see a
comparison in the enlightenment of Gautama the Buddha, and
the revelation of Muhammed, the Messenger of God. Until the
moment of His public declaration, the Avatar (the Christ, the
Buddha, the Rasool) seems unconcerned about who the people
take Him to be.
There also seems to be an ordained moment in everyone's
personal relationship with the Beloved to accept His
Avatarhood. Few are blessed by Meher Baba to accept Him as
the Avatar the moment they first see or hear of Him. Usually
one is drawn to Baba because of His attributes—His love, His
charm, His wisdom. One easily accepts Him as a good man, a
reliable guide, a saint, or even a master and Baba is content with
this. Baba does not insist or expect that people should
77
accept Him as the Avatar right away. His game of loving

patience is unfathomable. Whatever His lovers take Him to
be—friend, guide, master—He not only accepts, but fulfills that
role to perfection. Accepting Him as the God-Man takes time
and invariably is an act of His grace.
Over the years, one's relationship with Baba slowly thrives,
conviction in His divinity gradually deepens until, at the
ordained blessed moment, one's heart very naturally and totally
accepts Meher Baba as the Ancient One. Baba's open
affirmation of His Avatarhood, in that hut at Meherastana, helps
hasten this process and, as such, seems to have both a divine
and a human significance.
On the one hand, it served as a day of demarcation which
initiated a new rhythm in the Avatar's divine work. But on the
human level, Baba's declaration that He is the Avatar serves as
an external symbol of the inner grace He bestows on His dear
ones, awakening in their hearts the certitude that He is not just a
saint or a Master, but the Avatar—God in human form.
Baba Draws His Mandali to Him
When the Avatar takes human form, His very presence draws
His intimate disciples to Him in a most natural way. They need
no discourses or declarations, just a look into His eyes, or a
gesture from Him to follow, and their lives are transformed and
they are ready to live and die for Him.
For these close ones, if they do not come to Him in the natural
course of events, the Avatar Himself goes to them. Thus Jesus
sought out Simon (Peter) and his brother, Andrew who were
fishing and said, "Follow me, and I will make you fishers of
men." And, "They straightaway left their nets and followed
Him."
Similarly, the early group of Meher Baba's disciples did not
come to Him because of any promise of spiritual advancement
that Baba held out to them, or because of Baba's declaration of
His divinity, but simply because of the love awakened in their
hearts for Him which made them "straightaway leave their
78
nets" to follow Him. This was true not only of the early Eastern
disciples like Buasaheb, Masaji, Pendu, Padri, Baily, Daulatmai
(Mehera's mother), Gulmai (Adi's mother), Pilamai (Dr. Goher's
aunt), Mehera, Khorshed, Naja and others, but also for the early
Western disciples.
During Meher Baba's first visit to England in 1931, He stayed
at Kitty Davy's parents' house at 32 Russell Road, Kensington.
When He arrived, Margaret Craske held the door open for Him.
As she did, she saw Baba as, "a vision of gentleness, grace and
love that touched the heart immeasurably." Later, describing her
initial meeting with Meher Baba, she recalled, "I only knew that
from that moment . . . there has never been a moment's doubt as
to His being the embodiment of love and life.'' 17
Kitty Davy was another whose life was changed from her
initial contact with Baba. Recalling the first night that Baba
spent in her parents' home, Kitty writes:
About six of us packed into the large spare room. I slept
on the floor. Margaret tells me that in the middle of the
night I jumped up from the floor and, going to her bed,
shook her. She awoke with a start. "What is the matter?
Anything wrong? Why are you weeping?" I replied "He is
so wonderful—so lovely!" In the morning I had no
recollection of the incident whatsoever. 18
Delia DeLeon's first meeting with Baba occurred a day or so
after Kitty's. She reminisced about her time with Baba during
that London visit as follows:
During that week I went about like one in a dream; I was
stunned with the wonder of Baba, nothing else existed for
me. I saw him every day, and from then on I had an implicit
trust and faith in him; I asked no questions, I wanted
nothing from him. I gave my life into his keeping and knew
my search was at an end. 19
17
Dance of Love, back cover.
18
Love Alone Prevails, p. 13.
19
The God-Man, p. 96.
79
''When the Master is Ready"

However, not all of Baba's close ones accepted Him
instantaneously upon their first meeting. Malcolm Schloss's
account reflects another aspect of Baba's drawing His dear ones
to Him.
After visiting England in 1931, Baba decided to visit the U.S.
that same year, although He didn't know anyone there. He
cabled Malcolm and his wife Jean, who had only heard about
Him but had never met Him, to prepare to be His hosts when He
came. With the help of Margaret Mayo who offered the use of a
large gray stone house overlooking the Croton River in
Harmon, New York, they, with the help of friends, prepared for
Baba's arrival.
In 1953, Malcolm sent Adi a manuscript titled, "When the
Master is Ready," describing Baba's stay and his personal
experiences with Him. The following is an excerpt from it:
My first interview with Baba was. . . the next afternoon. I
was chopping wood for the fireplace in his [Baba's] room
when he passed with Chanji. . . . He stopped and picked up
a comb which had dropped, unnoticed from my pocket. I
was touched. Something warm stirred within me. I had had
as yet, almost no personal contact with Baba, but I knew
that he was revered by thousands of people in India as a
God-realized being, another Krishna. And here he was,
noticing a lost comb, stooping to pick it out of the dust,
handing it to me with a sunny smile! I thanked him, and he
asked, in gestures, if I would like to join them for a walk.
We descended the long flight of narrow wooden steps that
wound from the house down to the private landing on the
Croton River far below. The sun was setting as we reached
the landing. . . . We gazed for a moment, silently. Then
Baba took the alphabet board out of his pocket, and turned
to me. "I am God," he spelled out on the board, simply and
directly.
"I know," I answered, quietly thinking to myself, "so am
I."
80
I did not realize, then, the vast difference between Baba's

constant experience of the indwelling divinity and my bland,
intellectual assumption of it. But Baba did not mind. He
knew my limitations, even if I didn't—and he knew my
potentialities, better than I did. That was why he had come,
to help me to realize both. So he continued patiently, "I am
the Ancient One. . . .
I was still convinced, then, that the way to realization was
to find the God within oneself, without dependence on outer
things, or other persons. I was not seeking a master. I did
not wish to become a disciple.
It was not, however, until the twelfth night of his visit that
I capitulated. The Westerners had gathered in the living
room after dinner. Meredith [Starr] was explaining to some
of the group, who had Theosophical backgrounds and
Theosophical ideas, Baba's teachings in regard to the inner
planes. I grew suddenly very tired of words. I was glad that
Baba, at least, was silent. And as [politely] as I could, I
excused myself for bed.
Before I retired, Meredith came to tell me that Baba
wished everyone to meditate on him just before going to
sleep. . . . I did not then believe in meditation on any person.
I had never done it, nor did I wish to do it. I determined not
to accede to this request.
But when I started to go to sleep I found myself thinking
about Baba in spite of my decision. I could not seem to get
him out of my mind. . . .
It must have been about midnight that I awoke from sleep,
with tears pouring from my eyes, and a realization, in my
mind, of Baba's true nature and mission. I have never been
able to put this into words. As Kabir has said, "It can never
be told with the words of the mouth, it can never be written
on paper." Baba had revealed to me his Universal Form, as
Krishna revealed to Arjuna—and with the revelation went
all my reservations. I capitulated. I knew what Baba was. I
knew what his mission was. I knew it was my destiny to
serve him.
The next morning, when I saw Baba, he embraced me
81
and asked in pantomime, with a twinkle in his eye—whether

I had slept well. I nodded, then exclaimed, "Baba! Why
don't you reveal yourself to everyone as you revealed
yourself last night to me. . . ?"
Baba smiled, said nothing, and embraced me again. 20
Avatar Meher Baba's relationship with each of His dear ones
is unique, just as His relationship with each soul in creation is
unique. For each individual the Avatar reveals Himself at a
different time and in a different way. The one constant is that
with everyone the Avatar relates in a simple, direct and loving
manner.
This long digression was meant to illustrate a point—that, in
general, the Avatar's declaration of His being the Son of God,
the Prophet, the Buddha, the Ancient One is not primarily for
His mandali. It is for His dear ones who have been connected
with Him for lifetimes, but who did not have the good fortune
to live with Him. Their relationship with the Avatar, however, is
very deep, and His declaration of His Avatarhood is like a well
which suddenly taps and releases the waters of His love,
bubbling forth in the conviction in the hearts of His dear ones
that He is indeed who He says He is—the Ancient One, the
Avatar.
Second Lease on Life
Returning to our account of Baba's second Hamirpur tour, Baba
agreed to visit the homes of some of His lovers in Mahewa on
the morning of February 10, only an hour or so after the
memorable all-night vigil had ended. That morning, Keshav's
wife brought him the news that her younger sister, Lalit Kishori,
was on the verge of breathing her last.
She had been suffering from both typhoid and double
pneumonia. The doctors had given up hope and informed the
family that she was not going to live much longer. By the
evening of February 9, she had lost the power of speech and her
eyes had turned to a stony stare. Yet, even in this critical
20
The Awakener, Vol. XIX, No. 1, pp. 53-58.
82
state, she had gotten up and tried to rush for Baba's darshan as
soon as she heard about His arrival. But, overcome by weak-
ness, she had collapsed unconscious at the door-step.
Now, the next morning, it seemed as if the end was fast
approaching. Hearing of this, Baba consented to also visit
Kishori's house. Just before He arrived there, she regained
consciousness and began to stare fixedly at a small framed
photograph of Baba which she held upon her breast.
Baba went to her side and lovingly caressed her face. In a
very faint voice she implored, "Baba, my Lord, please help me.
I am in great agony!" Baba gazed at her with His bright,
soothing eyes, and left the room. With gestures, He conveyed to
the others that it was 99% certain that Kishori would not
recover. He asked Keshav to tell her to take His name until her
last breath. "When she has no more strength to utter My name
audibly," Baba instructed, "tell her to repeat it mentally."
Keshav went in and conveyed this message to her.
Then, to Keshav's younger brother, Devendra, Baba
prescribed a special treatment to be administered to Kishori
according to an exact schedule. Devendra later confided his
impression that if there had been any chance of recovery at all,
Baba's prescription, at least from the standpoint of medical
science, would have ended it. Yet, to the amazement and delight
of all, Kishori's health was restored.
It was felt by everyone there that Baba had granted her a
second lease on life. The best medicine may not prolong a
patient's life, yet an apparently wrong treatment by the Avatar
can bring the hoped for result. The Avatar's blessing and loving
remembrance supervene all laws of medical science, and can
turn what would ordinarily be "bad medicine" into a pure boon.
By Baba's grace, Kishori is alive even to this day (1986)!
Meherastana: Threshold to Meher, the Avatar
Within a few hours, Baba returned to Meherastana from His
house visits in Mahewa. It was here that He wished to conduct
83
a meeting He had called of some of His workers and lovers

residing in the Hamirpur area.
During this intimate gathering, Baba took His seat outside the
kuti, and His close ones sat on the ground around Him.
Whenever Baba was in the company of His lovers, a gentle
blissful feeling seemed to emanate from Him reaching the
hearts of all. Sometimes, without a word being exchanged,
those with Baba felt their hearts call out to Him and heard His
answers in a silent loving dialogue.
This meeting was to discuss the activities being done by those
in Hamirpur to disseminate Baba's message of love to the
public. Baba emphasized that all should be completely frank in
expressing what they felt. At His urging, a member of the
reception committee, Gaya Prasad, mentioned that the selection
of the people to attend the night vigil struck him as arbitrary and
a bit unfair.
This complaint indirectly reflected on Keshav but instead of
reprimanding Keshav, Baba with His swift and subtle humor
conveyed that throughout Eternity, whenever the Avatar visits
the earth, such differences of opinion among His dear ones are
present. Even at the time of Krishna such disagreements among
His close ones were there. Baba smiled and added that His habit
of patiently hearing such disputes in a way broke the monotony
of His work.
Baba pointed out that until one realized God, one could not
escape one's ego. Even advanced souls, up to the fourth plane
are not free from egoistic tendencies. Only one who is
established on the fifth plane is saved from the ill effects of
egoism.
Then, looking around the gathering, Baba asked if any of the
others wished to say anything. Pukar tried to make some
conciliatory comments, but Baba insisted that all should use this
opportunity to unburden themselves of any misgivings they
might be harboring in their hearts concerning one another. Baba
lovingly conveyed that He wanted all to feel completely free
and none should hesitate when asked by Him to speak out what
he honestly thought or felt.
Reverting then to the earlier disagreement between Gaya
Prasad and Keshav, Baba asked them questions in such a way
84
that it soon became apparent that Keshav had been acting on

instructions from Baba which Gaya Prasad hadn't known about.
On the other hand, it also became clear that while Keshav had
literally followed Baba's orders, he had also in some cases used
his discretion. Under Baba's skillful and lively handling of the
situation, both Gaya Prasad and Keshav realized that the other
was sincerely trying his best to obey Baba and each asked
forgiveness of the other for his failings and lack of tolerance.
Baba looked pleased at this open admission of error and
determination to cooperate fully in the future.
Baba then spelled out on His board:
I bring out your weaknesses because I love you. Be
honest. Weaknesses are there in everyone. You should not
be afraid of them; you should be afraid of dishonesty. Who
does not get bad thoughts? Even if you have the worst
possible thoughts, the important thing is to take care of your
actions.
With a short pause, Baba continued:
Had it not been for the weaknesses in everyone, there
would have been no difference between Me and you!
During this short meeting, which was really another sahavas
for Baba's Hamirpur workers and lovers, He skillfully let
everyone get everything off their chests and yet saw that there
was no lingering bitterness or disharmony resulting from the
frank exchange of opinions.
Baba once stated that He alone does His work. He does it in
spite of us and not because of us. What one does outwardly in
Baba's cause is less important than what Baba does inwardly for
that person. To one of His dear ones, Baba once conveyed,
"Your business is to love Me; the rest is My business." If we
take refuge in Baba's heart—His everliving presence—and take
care, while doing Baba work, not to turn a breeze of
disagreement into a hurricane, we will be attending to our
business. In addition, we will be more receptive to Baba's
business in us.
85
Baba's second glorious and eventful darshan tour of the

Hamirpur area ended at Meherastana. It concluded, however,
amidst transportation problems. The permit to travel on the
canal roads had expired on the ninth. So, on the tenth, not long
after Baba's workers' meeting at Meherastana, He and His party
had to board a new bus to take them to Hamirpur and yet
another from there to take them to Lucknow where they
boarded a train for Bombay.
In Bombay, the mandali found they couldn't reserve seats on
the bus to Mahabaleshwar from Poona. As Baba had
specifically expressed His wish to have the entire party reach
Mahabaleshwar by February 12, there was a certain amount of
urgency and anxiety to get advance booking.
On arriving at Poona, they found that all the seats on the
Mahabaleshwar bus had already been booked. The mandali
were in a fix. In the lives of His lovers, Baba makes the
impossible possible but, concerning His own plans, the possible
was sometimes rendered nearly impossible. Fortunately, at the
last minute, someone who had bought a block of seats on the
Mahabaleshwar bus appeared at the reservation office wanting
to sell the tickets back to the clerk. Pendu immediately
purchased them and thus all were able to reach Mahabaleshwar
on the twelfth. A good ending!
Meher Baba's second visit to Hamirpur will be remembered
primarily for the night vigil at Meherastana. Astana literally
means "threshold" and Meherastana, in a way, served as a
threshold between Meher Baba's disclosing His Avatarhood to
His mandali and His affirming it to the world at large.
Only the year before, at Dehra Dun, Baba had stated in one of
His messages, "If I am the Highest of the High. . . ." Now, at
Meherastana, that "if" was removed for good. The next year a
new arti, "Divya Sanatana," glorifying Baba as the Ancient
One, the Avatar, was composed by Madhusudan. This replaced
Deshmukh's arti acclaiming Baba as a Sadguru, which was no
longer sung in public programs.
Thus, the little hut on a hill known as Meherastana has
become a place of immense spiritual importance, while
February 10, 1954 is regarded by many who love Baba as one
of
86
the most significant dates of His ministry; for it was on this day
that Meher Baba openly rang the bell of His being the Avatar
and it continues to ring to this day: "Avatar Meher Baba Ki
Jai!"
87
BABA LEAVES MAHABALESHWAR
FOR ANDHRA
1954 - PART V
Small Darshan at Poona Railway Station
During Meher Baba's tour of the Hamirpur District, He con-
veyed to His mandali that once they were in Andhra they would
witness one of the aspects of His Lila—the tremendous fervor of
the masses to greet the Avatar. And this proved true from the
day Baba reached Vijayawada until the day He left Andhra
Pradesh. The exciting twelve-day non-stop tour remains
unsurpassed in the memories of the mandali for everywhere
they went, in the villages as well as the towns, thousands rushed
to have Baba's darshan.
While some in the crowds stared in amazement at Baba's
radiant face, in which His Avataric beauty and divinity were
perfectly blended, others, in their surging enthusiasm to reach
Baba, to garland Him, to bow down to Him or offer their
respects in some way, became so unmanageable that the
mandali and the volunteers, despite their best efforts, could not
control the crowds.
In response to the people's fervor, Baba's outpouring of love,
His gracious giving was unparalleled. And despite the uproar, in
His All-knowing love, Baba reigned over all in silence, in
complete control of every situation. His very presence was a
healing balm for the masses. No wonder that later many
"miracles" were attributed to Baba, but He, Himself, as always,
remains the greatest Wonder in creation—God-become-Man.
Just a week after returning from the strenuous darshan tour of
Hamirpur, Baba left Mahabaleshwar once again for a whirlwind
twelve-day tour of Andhra. Adi, as previously ordered, drove
Baba to Poona with Eruch and Gustadji accompanying them.
They arrived at the railway station by 8:30 on the morning of
February 19, 1954.
About fifteen minutes earlier, the passenger train to
Vijayawada
88
BABA LEAVES MAHABALESHWAR FOR ANDHRA
had steamed into the station precipitating the customary frantic

rush of passengers to find seats and to get all their luggage
aboard. In the midst of this maelstrom, a group of about
eighteen of the mandali were busy loading all of their baggage
into a third-class compartment. No sooner had they done so than
someone brought the news that Baba had arrived and most of
them went out to see Him.
There was also a small crowd of Baba lovers from Poona
waiting at the station to take advantage of this opportunity to
see their beloved Master. They garlanded Baba as soon as He
got out of the car and, with them following, He walked through
the station to the platform where the train was waiting. The
Poona lovers had arranged for a comfortable chair to be brought
to the platform for Baba and, as there was still an hour before
the train was scheduled to depart, Baba sat there, looking
radiant in His pink coat and white sadra.
The Baba lovers who gathered there were in a happy, buoyant
mood at being in His company once more after a long time.
Their faces glowed and their eyes sparkled with their love for
Baba, the Avatar of the Age.
One of Baba's early disciples from the Meherabad days
happened to live in Poona. This was R. K. Gadekar. He had
come from a poor Arangaon family, but had risen to a high
position as a deputy director in the state government. Yet,
despite this, his nature remained completely unaffected. In fact,
his utter simplicity and child-like devotion to Baba was
astonishing to witness. He had been a teacher in the school
Baba established at Meherabad in the late '20s. And later, with
Baba's help, he completed his own higher education in England.
On seeing him, Baba started teasing him that he had gained
weight. Unaware that Baba was joking, Gadekar answered with
complete seriousness, "I don't think so." With a captivating
smile on His face, Baba continued, "You're getting fat and no
wonder! It's because you don't worry about anything; you leave
all of that to me!" Much laughter greeted this jest, for Gadekar's
absolute faith in Beloved Baba was well-known to all.
89
And so the time passed, with Baba chatting with His close
ones; asking after their family members and generally creating
that atmosphere of light-hearted and loving intimacy which was
so much a part of Baba's gracious companionship.
Sadashiv Patel, another of the early mandali, put a beautiful
garland around Baba's neck and was rewarded with an embrace.
But as people on the platform caught a glimpse of Meher Baba
sitting there, they too came hurriedly to greet Him. Not just the
passengers, but some of the guards on duty at the station,
railway officials and even the hawkers came rushing forward to
pay their respects. Soon the scene resembled a small darshan
program and the mandali were hard pressed to control the
situation. All were pushing forward to get closer to Baba and it
was only after strenuous efforts that the mandali finally
managed to make a queue so that all could file by Baba in an
orderly fashion.
"I Have Never Seen Another Like Him!"
One of those standing at the back of the crowd was K. K.
Ramakrishnan. He had first heard of Meher Baba in the early
'40s while stationed near Poona in the Indian Army. He had
purchased a copy of Geeta-Rahaspa, an English translation of
the Bhagavad Gita, with a commentary by Sri Lokamanya B.G.
Tilak. The book also included an appreciation of the Gita by
Meher Baba. Ramakrishnan was impressed with Baba's words
although he did not know who Meher Baba was. He carried this
book with him throughout his travels in Southeast Asia and read
it often, thus frequently being reminded of Meher Baba's name.
In 1951, he met Adi. K. Irani at his office in Ahmednagar. Adi
greeted him warmly and offered him tea. When Ramakrishnan
mentioned that he had been studying the Gospel of Sri
Ramakrishna and the works of Vivekananda since 1943, Adi
remarked, "You will find, embodied in Meher Baba, the
Brahman [ultimate reality] which you have been reading about."
90
Ramakrishnan began to develop great love and respect for

Baba, but it was not until three years later that he finally got the
chance to see Him, on that sunny morning of February 19.
About his impression of this first glimpse he writes:
I saw Meher Baba for the first time on platform number
two of the Poona Railway Station. He was on His way to
Andhra Pradesh with a large number of His disciples;
Francis Brabazon, the Australian poet, was among them.
Meher Baba was seated on a comfortable upholstered chair,
radiant and garlanded, receiving the homage of His
devotees. He was flanked by two tall men standing on either
side and a large number of people were struggling to get
near Him. Most of His devotees in Poona were there,
besides the passengers. . . seeking His darshan.
I have an inherent aversion toward crowds. Hence, though
longing to go near Him, I left the idea of forcing my way
through the crowd and contented myself with seeing Him
from a distance. I climbed over a raised portion of the
bridge connecting the platforms from where I could see Him
clearly.
The moment I got there, Baba coincidentally got up and
walked into the train and occupied a seat near a window
where I was able to see His every moment very clearly. I
stood there absorbed in His presence for over an hour or so.
It was, I think, a specially reserved compartment for Baba
and His men. People were crowding in front. . . trying to get
near. . . if possible to touch Him. Some were offering Him
gifts of fruit and small packets of sweets, biscuits, etc. He
was accepting them with one hand and giving them to
people as prasad with the other. He was a magnetic
personality, utterly impersonal in being.
There was a smile on His face—a beam of light shining
into the hearts of all, giving an ineffable joy that made
people forget their woes, at least for as long as they were in
His presence. His smile was so enticingly enchanting that
those who were blessed to witness it would want to lose
themselves in it.
91
There was Eruch mopping perspiration from Baba's face.

There were other mandali around Him who, later on, were
destined to enter deeply into my life. Gadekar was there too,
busy running up and down. All were so absorbed in Him
that they paid no attention to the world around them. When
the train moved out of the platform, I got down and went to
work.
"I have never seen another like Him," was the impression
I carried with me when I returned. And His smiling face
seemed to accompany me. 21
Baba Introduces Francis to the Mandali
A third-class compartment had been reserved for most of the
mandali, and two second-class coupes as well: one for Baba and
Eruch, another for Adi and Francis Brabazon. As they were
traveling, Baba came to the third-class compartment to
introduce Francis to the mandali. This was Francis's first visit to
India and only those who had been with Baba in Myrtle Beach
in 1952 had met Francis before.
Baba told the mandali that Francis had been head of a Sufi
group in Australia but had flown to India to join them on this
darshan tour. Baba then turned to Francis and continued:
I will tell you why I called you. I will also tell you what
you have to do later on. In the meantime, all that you have
to do is observe minutely everything the people do there
[Andhra] and then you will have to tell me everything
you've seen, heard and grasped.
Remember I am perfectly Divine and perfectly human
simultaneously. So no one, even the rishis, can fathom Me.
When Francis returned to Australia later that year, he wrote a
booklet, a brief poetic account of Baba's Andhra visit; in the
introduction Francis writes:
I had met Meher Baba nearly two years before at Myrtle
Beach, South Carolina. This meeting was the culmination
21
Divya Vani; September, 1975; "Reminiscences V", pp. 5-7.
92
of ten years of spiritual search for that ideal Guide in whom

I could unreservedly place my confidence; the man who, I
felt, had mastered every difficulty and obstacle which still
confronted me.
During the previous ten years, I had studied the methods
and practices of the great Sufi schools, and had read fairly
widely in Vedanta, Buddhism and other systems, including
Taoism and Confucianism. In Meher Baba I found that
person who not merely knew these things, but was the living
embodiment of all these systems of knowledge. In other
words, he was a man who had reached the summit of Truth;
in religious terms, was God-Realized.
Of course, I knew that Baba, as everyone affectionately
calls him, had been saying for many years that he was God-
realized, was, in fact, an incarnation of Godhead, a God-
Man (in the same meaning as Christ is believed to be by the
Christians, Mohammed by the Mohammedans, Buddha by
the Buddhists, etc.); and I knew that the Sufis and thousands
of people everywhere recognized this claim, but as with
Thomas, I had to see for myself.
Well, I had seen; and the cry of the deepest parts of my
consciousness had been answered. I was satisfied that if
ever it was possible to "see" God on this earth, I had seen
Him. 22
A Foretaste of Andhra
The passenger train carrying Beloved Baba and the mandali
reached Kurduwadi, where I was working as a schoolteacher, at
around 3:00 in the afternoon. The entire platform was crowded
with people who wanted to have a glimpse of Baba, while in the
waiting lounge, over 500 pupils from the school were
assembled. I spotted Baba sitting with the mandali in the third-
class compartment. I approached and requested Him to bless the
people with His darshan. The platform was jam-packed, but
luckily Baba's compartment had stopped just opposite the
waiting lounge and Baba quickly walked there.
22
Journey With God, p. 3ff.
93
The lounge had a roof but was really part of the platform and
instead of walls it had arched openings so that even once inside,
Baba could be seen by those on the platform. However, the
crowd was so large that only those near Baba could really see
Him. So Baba climbed up onto the counter of a fruit stall which
was in the corner of the lounge and sat there. He folded His
hands in namaskar (greeting) and turned to all sides so that
none was excluded from His divine welcome. He looked
enchantingly beautiful.
Even so, the crowd began to press forward to get a better look.
The mandali formed a cordon in front of Baba, but the crowd
continued to push forward. On the right-hand side of the counter
were different sized wooden cupboards containing fruit. Eruch
helped Baba to climb onto one of these so that He would be
more visible. From there, Baba climbed onto an even higher
cupboard until, at last, He was perched at the very top so that all
could see Him clearly.
Eruch, Kumar and the others had a difficult time, however,
getting Baba down and safely escorting Him through the crowds
to the train once more. I had arranged with the railway caterer,
before the train arrived, to serve tea to Baba and the mandali,
but the crush was so great, none of the waiters dared to attempt
it. They were afraid the tea would only be spilled and all the
crockery broken.
As the train whistled and pulled out, I noticed that in the mad
rush, the glass panes of the cupboards of the fruit stall had been
smashed to pieces. As Baba had allowed me to join Him for His
Andhra tour at Kurduwadi, I made my way through the crowd
and entered the third-class compartment where Baba and the
mandali were. People were still flocking to the train windows to
get a glimpse of Baba and following the train as it pulled out of
the station. Perhaps this short, but intense, interlude was a
foretaste of what it was going to be like in Andhra.
Before I got settled in my seat, Baba expressed His concern
over the broken panes of the fruit counter. Then He instructed
me to read a typed sheet which one of the mandali handed me.
It was a list of instructions for those traveling with Baba. The
94
main point was that all were duty bound during the entire tour
to take care of Baba's person as if protecting the freshness and
perfume of the most delicate flower!
As I finished reading, Baba looked at me and gestured, "Did
you follow it?" I replied, "Yes." With a twinkle in His eye,
Baba continued, "Then you must pay your fee for reading it!
Give ten rupees to the faltu fund'." Faltu literally means "good
for nothing!" Very willingly and happily, I opened my purse
and gave the amount to one of the mandali.
To my surprise, he asked me whether I had purchased my
railway ticket. I said that of course I had. "How much did it
cost?" he asked. I told him a little over twenty-five rupees,
whereupon he immediately gave me that amount. So I gave ten
and got back more than double! Aren't Baba's ways wonderful?
One moment the Avatar, the Highest of the High, was perched
on the top of a dusty cupboard, giving darshan to the people
and receiving their adoration, and the next moment, the fairest
Flower of humanity was sitting in a third-class compartment
with His close ones, teasing and joking with them in easy
familiarity.
As I had wanted to give Baba and the mandali tea at
Kurduwadi, Baba graciously granted me permission to provide
it at another station. As it turned out, this station between
Kurduwadi and Sholapur was famous for the quality of its tea,
whereas Kurduwadi enjoyed no such distinction. Thus, Baba
not only fulfills even the insignificant wishes of His dear ones,
but when we allow Him to do so in His time, the result is better
than we could have arranged on our own!
Baba then went back to His coupe, but before the train pulled
into Sholapur, He returned to our compartment. A Baba lover,
Sri Jaju, who was an active social worker and an ardent
follower of Gandhi, came into the compartment to urge Baba to
give darshan to the crowd which had collected in the open
grounds just outside the station building.
Baba lovingly agreed and was led to a small dais which had
been set up. Jaju gave an exhortatory speech in which he
dramatically called upon Baba to break His silence soon so that
humanity would be freed from its suffering. In response
95
to Jaju's emotional appeal, Baba spelled out on His board words

to the effect, "Until I break my silence, I hear through you all
and speak through all of you." Continuing, for the benefit of the
people, Baba added, "To know Me, you have to love Me. Only
through love can you know Me. If you honestly serve the
people, that too is love."
Although the darshan program at Sholapur seems to have
been an impromptu affair, it was a great occasion for the people
there. Baba had last given darshan there in March 1943. At that
time, there had been printed in one of the local newspapers a
very brief item about Baba along with His picture. Most people
probably never even noticed it, yet for me it had enormous
significance. In my case it was the beginning of that soft, almost
imperceptible, yet ultimately irresistible pull of the Avatar that
finally drew me to Him. 23
So too, it is impossible to know what other hearts were started
on their journeying to the Avatar's feet from this brief darshan
that evening of the 19th. Baba can use the most insignificant
thing to awaken hearts, and any contact with the Avatar, no
matter how brief, is anything but insignificant! Unfathomable
are His ways.
Baba Catches a Hand and Captivates a Heart
The Poona-Bezwada (Vijayawada) Passenger train was not an
express. It stopped at all stations along the way and often for
more than twenty minutes at each junction. This had the
advantage of giving Baba enough time to give darshan at places
like Kurduwadi and Sholapur, and it also meant that Baba,
whenever He wished, was able to come and visit with the
mandali in their compartment. With the incomparable pleasure
of Baba's company, that thirty-three hour journey was quite
enjoyable.
All through the night of the 19th and for all day of the 20th
we journeyed, finally arriving at Vijayawada at about 8:30 on
the night of February 20. There was a huge crowd on the
platform waiting for the train which was bringing them their
23
See Glimpses of the God-Man, Meher Baba, Vol. I, p. 25.
96
beloved Master and when they saw Baba they all began rushing
toward His second-class coupe shouting, "Avatar Meher Baba
Ki Jai."
As Baba stepped down to the platform, He was welcomed by
the reception committee and garlanded, while others in the
crowd eagerly pressed forward to have a better glimpse of
Baba's divine face. In the midst of this tumultuous reception
Baba plunged into the crowd and walked straight up to one of
the men standing there and reached out and took his arm. Y.
Manikyala Rao (Baba later nicknamed him as Manik), who was
one of the main workers, introduced the person to Baba saying,
"Baba, this is Majety Rama Mohan Rao. He is the host in whose
house you will be staying."
Majety had never met Baba before. He was a prosperous
businessman who, along with his partner Chinta Sarva Rao, had
been approached by KDRM to see if they would contribute
anything to help out during Baba's upcoming visit to
Vijayawada. Neither partner was especially interested in Meher
Baba, but their family doctor, K. Suryanarayana, loved Baba
and they respected him so they agreed to contribute some
money.
Meanwhile, the organizers were looking for a house for Baba
in a quiet locality as Baba had indicated that He preferred such
a semi-secluded residence. In spite of their best efforts, they
were unable to find such a place for Baba. They mentioned this
to Majety and Chinta and the former generously offered his
newly constructed house for Baba's use.
Manik wrote Baba asking if this met with His approval and
received the reply that the house was acceptable but only on
condition that Majety's family move out when Baba was there.
Majety and Chinta, however, were given the rare privilege, even
though neither was yet a "Baba lover," to stay on the ground
floor when Baba and a few of the mandali occupied the first
floor. Both men decided to take advantage of this opportunity
while Majety's family readily consented to the unusual
condition laid down by Baba, and went to live with Chinta's
family.
On February 20, when the train arrived, Chinta and Majety
97
were there to greet Baba. The crowd was large and, as they had
never met Baba and didn't have the same fervor to get close to
Him as some of the others, they ended up caught in the middle
of the throng, some distance away. Yet, unerringly, Baba
walked up to Majety and took him by the arm. The others were
amazed that Baba seemed to know that Majety was His host
even before Manik could introduce him. But undoubtedly, Baba
knew that Majety and Chinta would later become stalwarts in
His cause in Andhra—silently doing whatever needed to be
done, never wavering in their conviction in Baba and their love
for Him.
Recently, when Chinta was asked about his and Majety's first
impression on meeting Meher Baba, he remarked, "We both
loved Him from the first, as the Avatar. For us there were no
dramatic incidents or anything of that sort; He was just
irresistibly lovable and we loved Him. It was so natural." It
seems that the true significance of Baba's first meeting with
Majety was not that He picked him out of the crowd and caught
hold of his hand, but that He caught hold of his heart as well!
Even to this day, Baba continues to "catch the hands" of His
dear ones, often when they aren't even aware of it, and
captivates their hearts as He guides them on their journey to
Him.
Announcement of the Workers' Meeting
Some of Meher Baba's lovers who were residing in different
parts of India were graciously allowed by Beloved Baba to
accompany Him during His second Andhra tour. They had been
asked to join Baba and the mandali at Vijayawada. As Baba got
down, He was warmly received by KDRM and surrounded by
the crowd who had come to greet Him. So those who had been
invited to join Baba had to pay their respects to Him from a
distance. However, the very proximity of their Beloved Master
filled their hearts with joy. They happily called out greetings to
the mandali and embraced them. It was a glorious and festive
get-together, a warm family reunion
98
in Baba's boundless love.

Baba was conducted to a large comfortable, well-decorated
car which was waiting outside the station. The mandali were led
to a bus which had been kept for them, while all their baggage
was loaded into a truck. KDRM had told Majety and Chinta that
they shouldn't ask Baba to visit their cloth shop, but that on the
way to Majety's house Baba's car would pass it. Baba, however,
on His own asked N. Dharma Rao, who was to be Baba's driver
for the whole Andhra tour, to stop the car as they drove by the
cloth shop. The two partners, whom Baba later used to refer to
as "twins," were given the opportunity of presenting Baba with
some nice cloth.
The caravan then proceeded to Majety's house which was to
serve as Baba's residence. There He was introduced to more of
the Andhra lovers as well as Majety's family. Baba's arti was
performed in the traditional Hindu way by burning camphor on
a plate.
The burning camphor, when waved before an image of God
or, in this case the God-Man Himself, symbolized the individual
self being consumed in love for the Beloved. When arti is over,
it is customary that the plate with the burning camphor be
passed among those present who reverently hold their palms
over the flame and then touch their forehead or heart with them.
This gesture, a symbolic darshan, represents a bowing down to
the flame of love, the Light within each one's heart.
After arti, Baba started telling KDRM and the others from
Andhra about the important meeting of His workers that He was
going to hold. He concluded, "I want all my workers in Andhra,
small or big, to be present on March 2 (at Rajahmundry). What
I want to explain to all my workers I will tell there. This is my
last trip to Andhra. . . so anyone whom KDRM thinks might
work for Me should be present."
Baba then asked the mandali, except for the few that were to
stay with Him, (Eruch, Pendu, Chhagan and Sidhu) to go to the
choultry 24 where they were to stay and have dinner and then
retire. Baba told them not to stay up late but to rest well so they
would feel fresh for the next day's programs.
24
A resting place for visitors where rooms and food are provided by a charitable
institution for nominal rates.
99
By 5:00 the next morning, on the 21st, most of us had had a

refreshing hot water bath and were ready for the first full day of
Baba's Andhra tour. Soon a caravan of two cars, a jeep, a bus, a
van and a truck were parked outside on the road. Quickly, but in
an orderly way, we all put our baggage in the truck. Pendu, the
"Controller of Movements," then gave the order to board the
bus. We all got in. Little did we realize that during our twelve
days in Andhra, although we had many hosts and stayed in a
variety of houses, our home more often than not was the bus.
Even our seats remained constant as it was found practical for
everyone to sit in the same place each time. That way, at a
moment's glance, we could tell who, if anyone, was missing.
The bus pulled up in front of Baba's residence before 7:00 and
we found a number of people outside the house waiting for
Baba to come down the stairs so they could pay their respects to
Him. We walked up the steps to the first floor where Baba was
staying. He was telling Dr. Dhanapathi Rao and others of the
importance of the workers' meeting. He repeated, "On March 2,
I want all my workers at Rajahmundry." Continuing, Baba
explained:
I have been doing My work since the beginning of time. I
am the only One who really works, but if you want to share
or help in My work, then it must be done honestly, no
compromise. No competition, no ego, for that spoils the
work.
Baba then had the three messages read out which He had
dictated earlier that morning. These three messages were given
out over and over again during the Andhra tour but as their
contents are similar to the messages given during the Hamirpur
darshan tour, only the first and concluding sentences are quoted
below:
Don't listen to the voice of the mind. Listen to the voice of
the heart. . . .
Love God wholeheartedly and honestly, sacrificing every
thing at the altar of His Supreme Love and you will realize
100
the Beloved within you.

E. N. Murthy, from Penugonda, brought it to Baba's attention
that although Penugonda had originally been scheduled for a
darshan visit, now it seemed that KDRM had left it out of the
schedule entirely.
An animated discussion ensued during which the organizers
justified their position and pointed out the practical difficulties
of such a visit and Murthy insisted that Baba should come.
After letting everyone express himself on this affair, Baba
decided that as KDRM had originally promised that He would
go, in order to keep their word He would visit Penugonda for
five minutes on the night of the 24th.
In retrospect, it seems as if Baba had already set the ball
rolling for the ensuing workers' meeting with this discussion, as
the differences of opinion among the Baba lovers in Andhra
were being brought to the surface by Him.
After this serious discussion, Baba, as was one of His ways,
lightened the mood of the gathering by teasingly reminding the
organizers to be careful about the food arrangements during the
Andhra tour. "I need only a little rice and dal," He remarked,
"but some coming with me are good eaters!" And with a twinkle
in His eye, Baba added, "So you will have to take care to see
that they get enough to eat!" Baba's expression as He made this
joke was so delightful that some chuckled and some could not
help laughing. With this natural break in the proceedings, Baba
and the mandali descended the stairs to the waiting vehicles.
"I Am the Ocean of Purity"
Baba left Vijayawada for Guntur on the morning of the twenty-
first at around 7:00. Baba's car was followed by another car and
a jeep which carried some of the Andhra workers. The mandali
traveled in a large bus, while a truck carried the luggage.
This caravan reached Guntur at about 9:00 that morning.
101
M. Sudarsanam was the host. As we pulled up in front of his

house, volleys from guns were fired to welcome Baba. He was
received with great love and led inside the house where a dais,
with statues of lions on either side, had been set up for Him.
Baba allowed those present to file by and garland Him, but
prior to this they had been reminded that they should not touch
Baba's feet or bow down to Him. Much before Baba's arrival in
Andhra, He had sent some specific and some general
instructions to the local and over-all organizers. These were to
be followed strictly by all. In one of the letters from Baba, He
had stated, "This time I am coming there [also] as a sadhak [an
aspirant], so no one should bow down to Me prior to My
bowing down to them and no one should touch My feet."
As His lovers filed past, Baba gently patted some on the head,
some on the cheek and occasionally He embraced some. Baba
had, at first, taken His seat on the decorated dais but this
arrangement proved inconvenient for those approaching Him
for His darshan. So Baba got up and sat on a window ledge
which was more accessible to all. After a while He walked into
the family's puja-room which was used exclusively for prayers
and meditation. A full-size picture of Meher Baba graced one of
the walls.
As Baba entered, the host and his family accompanied Him.
M. Sudarsanam asked Baba to sanctify His own picture by
touching it, which Baba did. Then Baba asked the host where
his wife was. M. Sudarsanam explained that she wasn't there
because it was the time of her monthly period. According to
Hindu custom, she had to keep herself away so as not to defile
the things that were to be offered to Baba.
Baba smiled compassionately and conveyed: "I am God in
human form. I am in everything; I am everything. I am that
Ocean of purity which is not defiled by anything. Call her."
When she came, Baba patted her and took the sweets she
offered Him, tasted a little of it and then distributed these to all
gathered as His prasad. The Avatar's presence is like a blazing
fire that consumes all dross; nothing can contaminate His divine
life.
102
Praja (Public) Darshan at Guntur

Baba left Sudarsanam's house to visit the Sai Baba Samaj
(Society). Baba had once stated that Sai Baba was the Qutub-e-
Irshad, or "head," of the five Perfect Masters who precipitated
His Advent. A chair had been arranged for Baba under an
awning facing the proposed site of the temple to be built for Sai
Baba. Out of deep reverence for His Master, Baba preferred to
sit on the ground.
A welcome address was read out, a part of which follows:
Bhagwan! We feel highly blessed and purified by Thy
august presence in our midst. . . . Thy feet have sanctified
the site. It is our fervent prayer that by Thy blessings, the
mandir [temple] to be constructed on the site, should serve
as a spiritual Center in this holy land.
At the request of the Sai Baba devotees, Baba then touched
Sai Baba's photo and also the foundation stone for the temple.
Baba remarked:
I feel very happy on this occasion. This grand old Man
[Sai Baba] was and is a unique personality in the spiritual
world. He knows, and only a few like Him who are the
personification of Perfection know, that I am the Ancient
One.
Then, Baba proceeded toward a park in the middle of town
where a pandal had been erected for praja (public) darshan.
Baba was garlanded and the welcome addresses were read out.
Afterward, Baba had Ramjoo read in English "The Real
Darshan" message, which He had given earlier in Dehra Dun. 25
This message was the first among the thirteen that Baba had
earlier sent to KDRM from Mahabaleshwar. These messages in
English were translated into Telugu and then printed in the form
of a booklet, as well as loose pamphlets, which were distributed
freely to the people.
After one of the Andhra Baba lovers read out the Telugu
translation of the message, Baba dictated:
25
See Glimpses of the God-Man, Meher Baba, Vol. IV, p. 149.
103
We are all one. Every one of you has the Infinite within
and yet because of ignorance, every one feels some kind of
helplessness. It is a mighty divine joke that although every
one of you is All-power and All-bliss, you feel completely
weak and miserable. The moment this ignorance goes, you
become the Infinite Source of All-power and Bliss.
As I am within you all, I authoritatively say that if you
love Me with all your heart and lose yourself in Me, this
ignorance will go.
On the dais, Baba looked charmingly radiant. It is difficult to
capture that special feeling which permeated the pandal
whenever Baba gave darshan. His smile was at once so warm
and engaging that on a purely human level one was captivated
by it. But simultaneously, there was a grandeur, a magnificence
to Baba's expression which made people feel that they were in
the presence of the Divine One who had only assumed a human
form.
After the message was read out, Baba started distributing
prasad to the thousands of men and women who had assembled
there. Near the end of the program, a young boy suddenly came
running toward Baba from the crowd and placed his head on
Baba's holy feet, despite the previous announcement that none
should do so. Baba, however, gestured to the mandali not to be
concerned about it. However, as if to nullify the boy's action,
Baba touched the feet of some of the mandali who were around
Him.
Baba returned to M. Sudarsanam's house and spent some time
walking in the garden. Suddenly, He stopped and sat on the
ground and had water brought to Him and washed His hands. At
the time, no one thought much about this, but later Dr. K.
Suryanarayana suggested that the spot should be marked as
there was probably some significance to Baba's sitting there. M.
Ramakrishna, the second son of the host, put a piece of marble
there and began placing flowers on it each day in remembrance
of Baba.
Recently a big hotel was built there by the family and a large
marble bust of Baba is prominently displayed in the
104
lobby on the spot where Baba sat. A curious footnote to this

story is that it was here, in this hotel, that Adi K. Irani, Baba's
disciple from the Manzil-e-Meem 26 days, died suddenly of a
heart attack on March 4, 1980 after inaugurating a new building
to be used as a Center for Baba lovers in Guntur.
On the afternoon of the twenty-first, after a delicious lunch
provided by the host, Baba called the mandali to His room. We
had thoroughly enjoyed the spicy south Indian food and now we
were happy to hurry over to be with Beloved Baba. It was about
1:00 P.M. We found Baba sitting on the bed with the boy who
had touched Baba's feet during the darshan program standing at
His side.
This boy was somewhat mast-like and was clapping his hands
together and singing a bhajan. Baba then asked him to sing a
song in praise of Lord Siva which the boy did wholeheartedly.
Someone from the local workers remarked that Guntur was well
known for kirtan and bhajan and Baba spelled on His board,
"The real bhajan is here." It is one thing to sing a song of
devotion to the Lord, but to do so in the presence of the Lord in
human form is indeed the real bhajan!
The boy then started giving a lecture on Baba and Baba
embraced him when he completed it. The boy said he could talk
like that all day long but that the people would beat him with
their chappals if he went on at that length. Baba laughed and
gave him a Baba-locket, took him on His lap and gestured,
"Remember, Baba is God. Don't forget this."
Shortly afterward, Baba left Guntur. On the way back to
Vijayawada, Baba stopped at Sita Ram Kshetram. One of the
members read out the following welcome address:
Most Beloved Baba!
We present Your Holiness this welcome address as a
token of reverence and devotion. May Your Holiness accept
the same. . . .
Not only we, but none can understand You fully, unless
You will it. . . . May You be always alive in our hearts.
Raghuwar Das, a well-known devotee of Lord Rama, sang a
very touching song, "Rama Meghasyama," in a melodious
26
The name of a building in Dadar (Bombay) where Meher Baba stayed with a group
of His early disciples from June 7 to December 31, 1922.
105
voice, accompanying himself on the harmonium. Baba was so

touched that He blessed the singer and remarked, "Your song
reminds Me of My past Advent as Rama."
Baba also stopped at the Omkar Kshetram where He was
welcomed thus:
Master! We salute Your lotus feet. Lead kindly light! Lead
us out of the darkness. The Bhagavad Gita proclaimed that
age after age, to uphold righteousness, the Avatar assumes
human form. That divine promise has been fulfilled in Your
sacred personage. . . . Master! Bless us all, bless the entire
humanity.
Although the crowds were relatively small at these two stops,
the people welcomed Baba very devotedly. The excerpts given
above perhaps give some idea of the reverence with which Baba
was received. Baba made one other brief stop before proceeding
to Vijayawada.
A public darshan program had been arranged there for 3:00
P.M. It was already close to 4:00 P.M., but halfway across the
road spanning the Krishna River on the outskirts of Vijayawada,
Baba had His car stopped and washed His hands in the river.
Baba then got back in the car. Because of the various stops
Baba made on the way back to Vijayawada, the car with Adi in
it had already arrived at the darshan site. Raghavulu, one of the
local workers, immediately asked Adi where Baba was, as it
was getting late and Baba was supposed to have been there an
hour earlier.
Adi didn't know, so Raghavulu and Prasad Rao got into a car
and headed toward Guntur to find out what was delaying Baba's
arrival. As soon as they reached the Krishna River, they saw
Baba sitting silently in the rear seat of the car. He was wearing
dark sunglasses and had covered His face with a scarf. He
seemed deeply absorbed in His inner work.
Eruch, seeing Raghavulu approach, walked over to him so
that Baba would not be disturbed. "Why have you come?" he
asked. "I wanted to see what was keeping Baba," Raghavulu
replied. "He is here, as you can see," Eruch said. "But I can't
disturb Him now. Don't worry. He will be there soon. Go back
106
and tell the organizers that Baba is on His way." Baba had His
own way and time to attend the programs.
Dramatic Darshan
A little later, Baba's work apparently done, He told the driver to
go on. But instead of directing him to the pandal, Baba told him
to drive to Majety's house so He could change His clothes. Once
there, Baba walked up the stairs to His room, but instead of
changing His clothes, Baba immediately descended to the
ground floor by the back stairs and began roaming through all
the rooms. He stood for a while before the puja room and then
asked Majety's wife for a cup of tea. Majety had told her that
Baba might want tea at any time so she was prepared and it was
not long before the tea was ready and she sent it upstairs with
her son. Baba took only a sip and then gave the rest to the boy.
Then, without ever changing His clothes or taking a rest, Baba
left the house to attend the darshan program. None of the
mandali ever asked Baba the reasons behind such apparently
random actions; they were certain that whatever Baba did was
in connection with His universal work and that was enough for
them.
Baba reached the pandal at 5:00 P.M., two hours later than
scheduled. There was a huge crowd waiting for Him. Baba
bowed to the assembled masses with folded hands. After the
usual garlanding and arti, the welcome address, "The Humblest
of the humble greeting to the Highest of the High," was read out
over the public address system. A part of it is given below:
Beloved! One without a second!
Thou art the effulgence—All-pervading Being. . . . Thou
art the Master of the world, the Self of the universe and
supreme Refuge. . . . May our minds be filled with pure
devotion and love for Thee and love for all beings. We
salute Thee, Lord of auspiciousness.
107
Baba then got up from His seat on the dais and walked to the
edge of the platform and down the steps to the ground where He
sat with the crowd. As soon as Baba did this, all those at the
back could no longer see Him. They pushed forward, fearing
that Baba had left and they had missed their chance of having
darshan. Those who were closer also surged forward to be
better able to take advantage of this rare opportunity of getting a
closer glimpse of the God-Man, sitting in their midst.
Three or four times Baba stood up so all could see Him and
gestured to the crowd to remain calm and to stay seated where
they were. And, surprisingly, each time the frantic pushing and
shoving stopped immediately and a calm and serene atmosphere
prevailed for a while.
Returning to His seat on the dais, Baba dictated:
I want you to feel that I am one of you and that is why I
sat here on the ground with you all. I am on the level of each
one of you: whether poor or rich, small or big, I am like
each of you. But I am approachable only to those who love
Me. . . .
This is not idle talk, but an authoritative statement that
eternally I have been and will always be the slave of My
lovers.
Then the message, "Playing with Illusions," 27 was read out in
English and Telugu. The thousands who had assembled were
enraptured by Baba's divine dignity and beauty. His presence,
His love seemed to flow out toward all and made everyone
intent only on having Baba's darshan and receiving the prasad
which He started to distribute after the Telugu translation was
read out.
Although it had been repeatedly announced that none should
touch Baba's feet, several people in their enthusiasm, overcome
with emotion, reached down to touch Baba's feet. One man was
so intent on bowing down to Baba that Pukar, who was a big
sturdy fellow, was unable to prevent him even though he used
all his strength. For Pukar this was a lesson; he had thought he
was strong enough to see that none disobeyed Baba's order, but
he realized now that the feelings of the heart
27
Ibid., p. 148.
108
were much more powerful than physical strength.

Men and women had been asked to form separate queues to
receive prasad. First the women were told to come forward but
soon, on His own, Baba stopped the women's queue and had the
men's queue begin. Several times Baba stopped one queue and
had the other started. This created much confusion in the
crowds and, once again, fearing that they might lose their
chance of receiving prasad, people started pushing
indiscriminately toward the dais.
Every effort to get people to stand quietly in a queue was
overwhelmed by the mass of humanity now surging toward the
platform. The volunteers could not restore order and finally they
surrounded Baba to protect Him. Sadashiv Patel, one of Baba's
oldest mandali, got incensed at the way the crowd was ignoring
the mandali's requests to form queues and started berating
people in Marathi which, of course, no one understood. They
answered back in Telugu which Patel could not understand.
Carried away in the heat of the moment, Patel, who had been a
wrestler in his youth, hitched up his dhoti and challenged the
unruly members of the crowd to wrestle with him.
Eventually, the mandali and the other workers were able to
form a ring around Baba and shove their way through the
tumultuous crowd to the safety of Baba's car. Baba got inside
and was driven back to His residence.
Baba in the Happiest Mood
KDRM, Manik and the other organizers were upset and
embarrassed. There were several prominent people they had
brought to the darshan program to introduce to Baba but now
the opportunity was gone. They were also now faced with the
monumental job of trying to distribute the remaining prasad,
heaps and heaps of plantains which Baba had blessed, to the
chaotic sea of humanity. But the most difficult thing for them
was the feeling that Baba had been displeased by the unruliness
of the crowd.
109
On His return to Majety's house, Baba surprised the mandali

and the local Baba lovers who were there by declaring how
happy He had been with the program. Baba suddenly conveyed
from His board:
Today's programme I liked. I liked it very much. First of
all, I sat down, there on the ground in the midst of the
people, on their level. I sat there not for show, but
wholeheartedly. . . . As Kumar said, had I really wished,
there would not have been this confusion. It was I who
repeatedly asked for the women's queue to be stopped and
the men to be called for receiving prasad. Anyway, I liked
the programme.
Baba continued:
You have no idea. I was in the happiest mood. . . . For one
moment, after many years, today I felt all alone in that
whole crowd. God, who is absolute Honesty, is My witness.
Today I was reminded of the experience I had after Babajan
kissed Me. I was all alone there for a moment!
Sometimes you too may feel mentally that you are all
alone, that everything else is a blank. But in comparison to
the real experience of Oneness, all these experiences are
absolutely insignificant, nothing. Today I am happy; My
work has been done one hundred percent, I am satisfied.
One of the local Andhra Baba lovers asked, "How are we to
know of your Oneness?" Baba replied, "Honestly I tell you,
even I sometimes don't understand why I am so infinitely
Infinite! How can you understand Me?"
"Pull Your Ears"
The local Baba lovers had been very disappointed when Baba
had had to leave the darshan program early. And those who
were at Majety's house couldn't understand what Baba really
meant by His remark that He was immensely happy in spite of
the fiasco. It was all "Greek and Latin" to them, but they
110
felt much relieved that Baba seemed so pleased with the

program.
One of those who was traveling with Baba throughout Andhra
was Adarsh Khare from Mahoba in Hamirpur District. He had
also been present at the worker's meeting Baba had held on
February 10 at Meherastana, just before He left Hamirpur. At
that meeting, Adarsh had voiced a complaint to Baba. He had
said that Baba should allow the local organizers to arrange the
darshan programs and conduct them as they saw fit and without
the mandali's interference.
Adarsh went on to point out that when Baba had given
darshan at Mahoba, they had arranged for the important people
of the town to meet Baba. But instead of being allowed some
time in Baba's company, they were treated like everyone else—
no sooner had they had Baba's darshan than one of the mandali
was escorting them away so the next person could have
darshan. "Let the local people handle things, Baba," Adarsh
suggested. "They know who should be allowed a little more
time, and they know how to treat these people with the proper
amount of respect."
Baba didn't say anything at the time, as Adarsh went on to
complain that the mandali were rather rude and pushed people
about without reference to their social position in their efforts to
insure that the darshan queues flowed smoothly. He simply
smiled, and left it at that.
But now, almost two weeks later, Baba turned to Adarsh and
signed, "Pull your ears." (Pulling one's ear lobes is an old Indian
gesture to express repentance.) Adarsh was taken aback but he
immediately did as he was ordered. But he could not help
himself from asking, "What have I done?"
"Today's program was organized by the local lovers. Tell me,
when you were leading Me to the car, what were you doing?"
"I linked arms with the other volunteers, Baba, and I kicked
out with my feet, fighting a way through the crowd so we could
clear a path for you."
"And when you were kicking people, did you stop to see
whether they were important people or not? Whether they
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were the influential people? Did you stop to consider whom you
should be respectful to?"
Instantly all of Adarsh's previous complaints against the
mandali came back to him. But he realized now, from his own
experience, that the mandali's main duty was protecting Baba's
physical form. That took precedence over all forms of
conventional social etiquette. Adarsh was filled with remorse
and looked up at Baba who gestured again, with a large smile
on His face, "Pull your ears."
What an amazing awareness Baba had; to know what each of
His lovers was doing in such a crowd! And Baba's awareness of
each of His lover's actions and thoughts continues unabated to
this very day. Baba willingly allows His lovers to criticize Him,
without attempting to defend Himself, until they have had the
inner experience to be able to wholeheartedly accept the validity
of His reason. This is a humility which is unfathomable, a
patience which is matchless, and a compassion which only the
God-Man possesses!
After this incident, Adarsh was able to see the mandali's
actions in the right perspective—as the actions of those whose
only concern is pleasing Baba. The mandali have turned their
backs on the world's opinion of them, indifferent to praise or
blame, they live only for their Beloved Baba; knowing well that
in serving Him, they are serving the purest expression of the
Divine Will, for Baba's work, though limited in the physical
sense, actually affects and is for all of humanity.
Conditions Imposed and Withdrawn in Love
After conversing with all in Majety's house for a while, Baba
asked everyone to return to the choultry to have their dinner and
then go to bed. Manik, on leaving Baba's room, went downstairs
to spend some time with Majety and Chinta. They were
discussing that afternoon's tumultuous darshan program when
Ramulu and Seshagiri Rao came rushing in, wanting to know
why Baba had not arrived at the Vijayawada Center for the
program which had been arranged.
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Manik had been so preoccupied with the distribution of

prasad at the darshan site after Baba left, and so upset with
what he perceived as the program's failure that when he had
finally rejoined Baba at Majety's house, he had totally forgotten
to tell Him that he had previously scheduled a special gathering
at the Vijayawada Meher Center for that night.
It was now around 9:30 at night and there were nearly a
thousand people waiting to receive Beloved Baba with garlands
and gifts of love. When Baba didn't arrive as scheduled, Ramulu
and Seshagiri got into a jeep and drove to Majety's house,
around a kilometer away to see what was keeping Baba.
Manik now found himself in a terrible dilemma. He didn't
know what to do. He didn't want to disappoint all those people
gathered at the Center, but he didn't know how he could disturb
Baba who had already retired for the night.
Just then he saw Pendu going upstairs carrying a medicine
chest and he intercepted him and explained the situation. After a
moment, Pendu came down and told Manik to go up and see
Baba. Manik entered the room and saw Baba sitting at a table
by Himself, about to have His simple supper. Baba was mixing
His rice and a vegetable dish together. Manik watched,
fascinated to see how the God-Man would eat. Just then Baba
looked up, saw Manik and gestured for him to come forward.
Manik was shy. He felt it wasn't proper for him to intrude on
Baba's privacy in that manner and so he stayed at the door. But
in the midst of all of his anxiety and conflicting emotions, a
funny thought suddenly popped into his head, "I wonder if Baba
has any teeth?" Seeing Manik hesitate at the door, Baba got up
and walked toward him, with a morsel of food in His right hand.
As Baba approached, Manik backed away. What a humorous
situation; the God-Man "pursuing" His lover who was
retreating! Baba got close, however, and as He did so, opened
His mouth, indicating that Manik should do the same. Thus
Manik's unspoken question was answered, as he could see that
Baba had no teeth. And before he could recover from his
surprise at Baba's gratifying his curiosity, Baba had put the
morsel of food into Manik's mouth. Baba then wiped His hands
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with a napkin, a sign that His supper was over. He did not take a
single mouthful Himself. Perhaps, He had heard the call of love
from His dear ones.
At this point Eruch came into the room. On seeing Manik, he
demanded to know what he was doing there. No one was
supposed to disturb Baba at that hour. Nervously, Manik
explained the dilemma he had found himself in; that he had
completely forgotten to notify Baba of the darshan program that
had been arranged at the Vijayawada Center.
"So what do you want?" Eruch asked. "I thought I should tell
Baba now to see if He will go," Manik replied apologetically.
"Is this the time for a darshan program?" Eruch demanded. It
was now after 10:00. "Can't you see that Baba hasn't even had
His food yet? Aren't you going to let Baba eat or sleep?" Eruch
scolded, and then continued to upbraid Manik for coming at
such an hour. Eruch stated emphatically that it was not possible
for Baba to leave now to give darshan at the Center. For one
thing, Eruch explained, Baba would not go without the rest of
the mandali and they had already been sent to their own
quarters for the night.
But, being the Compassionate One, Baba gestured that He
was willing to go, that He could spare five minutes to appease
the longing of those waiting at the Center for Him. Still, Eruch
insisted that it was too late and that Manik shouldn't even ask
Baba to do such a thing. In his eagerness to protect his Beloved
Baba, to see to His comfort, Eruch categorically declared,
"Even if the angels were to come down from Heaven to ask
Baba to go, Baba would not leave this room!"
Baba immediately got up, and cupped Eruch's chin in His
hand, a typical Indian gesture used to mollify a person. Then He
took Manik by the hand and led him to His bedroom where He
held His arms behind His back so that Manik could help Him
put on His sadra. Manik had never done this before and was
fumbling when Eruch came and took over.
Once He was dressed, Baba conveyed that He would visit the
Center only if all there agreed to three conditions. These were:
no one should shout, "Avatar Meher Baba Ki Jai"; no one
should bow down to Baba or touch His feet; and no one should
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offer gifts to Baba or garland Him.

Manik assured Baba that he felt the conditions would be
willingly agreed to. "But how will you find out?" Baba asked.
"I'll run to the Center and ask and then run back here and inform
you," Manik replied enthusiastically.
Baba commented that this would take too long, and asked
what arrangements had been made for His transportation to the
Center and back. Manik said that two of the organizers had
come in a jeep and that that would be made available to Him.
Baba then suggested that Manik come with Him. So Baba,
Eruch, Pendu, Chhagan, Sidhu and Manik left Baba's room to
visit the Center.
When they reached the street where the jeep was parked, it
was obvious that there wasn't enough room. Manik was
wondering where he could possibly sit when Baba joked that as
Sidhu was large and Manik was tiny, Manik could easily sit on
Sidhu's lap!
Before they started, Baba asked Manik to direct them to the
Center by a circuitous route. As they were driving, they
happened to pass by the choultry where the rest of the mandali
were staying. Manik pointed out the place to Baba and said that
if Baba wanted His mandali with Him, it would be easy to
arrange. Teasingly, Baba replied, "Why? Isn't it enough that you
have disturbed Me, now you want to see that none of My
mandali get any sleep either?"
Manik kept quiet and when they arrived at the Center he ran
up the stairs to explain to everyone who was there about Baba's
three conditions. With one voice all gathered in the hall said
they would obey the instructions; they only wanted to see Baba
in their midst.
Manik rushed back down and told Baba that all had readily
agreed. Baba seemed pleased at this. He got out of the jeep and,
with His four mandali, mounted the stairs. As He entered the
hall there was pin-drop silence. Baba bowed with folded hands
before the large portrait of Himself which Y. Ranga Rao had
drawn.
Baba was so touched with the wholehearted and unanimous
acceptance of the conditions He had imposed, and the way they
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were being scrupulously observed that He turned to the

assembly and announced, "I sent a message that I would give
darshan on three conditions. But now, if you wish to say,
'Avatar Meher Baba Ki Jai,' I give you my permission."
A thundering cry of "Avatar Meher Baba Ki Jai" rent the
night air. Baba smiled and added, "I had instructed that none
could touch My feet, or bow to Me or garland Me or give Me
anything. But now I allow everyone to come forward to have
My darshan. Don't worry, I will stay here until everyone has
had My darshan. You will all have your chance. And if any of
you wish to garland Me, or offer Me anything or bow down to
Me, you may do so."
Baba asked that bhajans be sung while people were taking His
darshan and, at the end of the program, He stood up and joined
in the arti Himself that was offered to His portrait. It was
nearing midnight when the program finally concluded. Baba
had proposed the conditions to help His dear ones be more
responsive to His love and compassion. But all the conditions
were withdrawn by the loving acceptance of His wishes by His
lovers. The Avatar is truly the slave of the love of His lovers.
It was indeed a memorable meeting and that night some left
the hall with the blissful heartache to feel Baba's presence more
and more, and this heartache is still following them.
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MACHILIPATNAM AND GUDIWADA
1954 - PART VI
Baba Keeps the Pot Boiling!
By 7:00 in the morning, on February 22, the mandali were at
Majety's house, ready to move on to the next town. As they
entered Meher Baba's room, they found that once again He
wished to reconsider the proposed visit to Penugonda with
KDRM. Some were in favor of Baba's going, while others,
primarily because of their prejudice against E. Moorty, the
Penugonda representative, were against it. Baba seemed to want
to keep stirring this particular "pot" of dissension.
The debate appeared to me to be quite heated, but later I
learned that Andhra people tend to express themselves with
gusto and that the discussion had not been as acrimonious as I
had feared. Meanwhile, Baba seemed to be thoroughly enjoying
the argument, purposefully getting a rise out of this one or that
one.
This reminds me of the time when one of Baba's disciples was
distressed to notice that after living with Baba for some time,
instead of becoming more composed, he seemed to flare up
periodically. When he brought this to Baba's attention, Baba
smiled and replied that in a sense this was true, but it was not
without reason. He then explained this by using the analogy of
boiling sugar cane juice.
When farmers in India want to make raw sugar they squeeze
the juice out of sugar cane stalks and then boil the liquid for
hours until it becomes very thick. Then they pour the liquid into
molds and, as it cools, it hardens into a solid mass of raw sugar
which is then used in cooking.
Baba asked the disciple, "What happens when the sugar cane
juice is boiled?" The disciple replied, "Scum rises to the
surface." "And then?" "And then it is scooped off." Baba
gestured that similarly, with some of His lovers, He uses this
"boiling technique" to cleanse their hearts and in the process
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the "scum" (impurities caused by sanskaras) rises to the surface

where it can be scooped off. Baba added that although this
happens in some cases, His lovers should not use it as an excuse
to refrain from restraining their behavior or controlling their
moods.
Perhaps during the discussion of the Penugonda visit, Baba
was keeping the pot boiling so that the scum of ego conflicts
and disharmony would be brought to the surface for Him to
"scoop it off" during the upcoming workers' meeting on March
2.
At any rate, regarding the Penugonda visit, Baba turned to one
of the members of KDRM and spelled on His board, "I know
you love Me, but do the people of Penugonda love Me? I don't
want crowds; I want lovers. I can make the whole world come
to Me, but what I want now is love. Are there lovers in
Penugonda?"
When Baba asked this question, the immense import of the
word "lover" was brought home to them and no one said a
word. The conversation seemed to have suddenly become very
serious. There was a marked silence as each pondered whether
he could consider himself a Baba lover in the real sense of the
word. Someone then suggested that, at any rate, as Baba had
promised yesterday that He would go, then He should go to
keep His word.
With a mischievous smile, Baba quickly quipped, "I am ustad
[an expert] in not keeping promises!" Baba's quick-witted
banter lightened the atmosphere and Baba then added, "But
since KDRM have given their word, let's go." It has been
noticed that Baba's delightful sense of humor has helped many
to get closer to Him. Once Baba told His sister Mani, "I am the
only One who never breaks a promise." However, being the
Timeless One, Baba fulfills His promises in His own time.
The topic then changed and Baba told Majety how happy He
was with him and He even allowed a photograph to be taken of
Himself with Majety's family and some local Baba lovers.
Meanwhile, a large crowd had gathered in front of the house to
give Baba a hearty send-off. In addition to KDRM, Baba
permitted some of His lovers in Andhra, such as Manik, Y.
Ramamohan Rao, Poornachandra Rao, and others to accompany
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Him throughout this tour.

With shouts of "Avatar Meher Baba Ki Jai" ringing in our
ears, the caravan left for Machilipatnam a little before 8:00.
Ever since Baba stayed in Majety's house, the room He used
was set aside exclusively for prayers and as a meeting place for
Baba lovers. The house itself was renamed Meher Abode.
Truly, from this initial contact, Majety was lucky to have his
abode in Baba's heart. It is also interesting to find that
coincidentally, the very spot where Baba gave mass darshan in
Vijayawada was chosen by the municipality as the site for a
large public auditorium. Now, when public programs are held in
Vijayawada, they are held in the Kshatriya Kala Kshetram,
which stands on the grounds where Baba gave darshan in 1954.
In fact, thirty years after Baba's visit there, in October 1984, a
gathering of Baba lovers was held there to which over a
thousand people from all over Andhra came.
Visit to M. S. R. Sastri's House
On the way to Machilipatnam, we passed through a village
named Kankipadu where the villagers were holding an annual
fair in honor of a Hindu goddess. To entertain the people and
children, a small wooden merry-go-round had been set up. Baba
asked Dharma Rao to stop the car and, unexpectedly but to the
delight of all, Baba sat on the merry-go-round for a few turns.
Madan Arora, Kishan Singh's son, who had joined the mandali
on the morning of February 21 and who had been filming
Baba's tour, was fortunate enough to get a nice shot of Baba
smilingly enjoying His ride.
At the village of Pammaru, a small darshan program had been
arranged. Arti was performed to Baba but, due to a lack of time,
Baba was unable to personally distribute prasad to the five
hundred or so villagers who had gathered. However, Baba
touched the sweets and bananas and dictated on the board, "I
give you all my blessings and this prasad will have my love
behind it when you receive it." Baba then folded His hands in
namaskar to the villagers and left.
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Baba reached Machilipatnam a little after 10:00 in the

morning. On the outskirts of town, Baba had a musical welcome
as a brass band played for Him, accompanied by the sweet
sounds of a sanaai. Baba's car was taken in a procession to P.
Lokanadha Rao's house.
M. Seetha Ram Sastri was the one who had extended the
loving and humble invitation to Baba to visit Machilipatnam,
but his house was too small to accommodate Baba and so he
asked his neighbor and friend, Lokanadha Rao if he would give
his house for Baba's use. L. Rao said he would, although he was
not particularly interested in Baba, and his family was against
letting Baba use the house.
Baba was led to the upstairs of the house where L. Rao was
fortunate to have his first meeting with Baba. He was so deeply
impressed with Baba's divinity that when he came downstairs,
he wanted to bow down to the mandali just because they were
Baba's disciples. Baba is so infinitely generous that He rewards
even disinterested help offered in His cause, by awakening love
in the heart of the one who proffers it.
M. S. R. Sastri had heard from Y. Ranga Rao (the "R" of
KDRM) that Meher Baba was the Avatar. He was especially
touched by Jean Adriel's book, Avatar. Although he was a
Brahmin, born in an orthodox family, Baba's love cut through
the orthodoxy and reached his heart.
On the 21st, Sastri had gone to Vijayawada to greet Baba and
to repeat his invitation to Baba to visit Machilipatnam. At
Guntur, Baba gave Sastri one of His coats and asked him to
wash and iron it and then hand it over to Him when He came to
Machilipatnam. Sastri lovingly obeyed this order and for days
after Baba's departure he could smell the sweet fragrance of His
coat permeating his house. Love is madness, but a blessed
madness!
Now that Baba had arrived in Machilipatnam, He wanted to
begin the day's program by visiting Sastri's house. But the house
was situated in a lane which was too narrow for Baba's car to
pass, so Sastri spread costly, brightly colored saris all the way
from the main road to the entrance of his house. The
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riches of Sastri's heart were made manifest during this visit. In

one of the rooms of his house, Sastri had kept a photograph
which Adi had given him which Meher Baba had signed. This
room was to be used as a Baba Center for Machilipatnam.
When Baba came, He Himself garlanded the photograph and
bowed down to it. Some newcomers were surprised at this and,
knowing what was going on in their minds, Baba dictated:
I find no one to bow down to except Me, because I find
My Self in everything. My coming here physically, and
opening this center will be of avail if you all make Me
yours, as you already are eternally Mine. This centre will be
worth its name if it spreads My message of love by making
people understand that God is the only Reality.
In these few words, while specifically blessing this particular
center, Baba has given guidelines for any group of His lovers
wishing to work for Him.
During arti, the room was so full that some of us were
squeezed out. Yet I could still clearly hear Sastri reciting
Sanskrit slokas in praise of the Avatar. He sniffled in between
lines because a flood of ecstasy had overcome him and he could
not keep back the tears. Baba's presence during such programs
often filled the hearts of His devotees with joy while their eyes
overflowed with His love.
Usually when making house visits, Baba would have the head
of the house introduce his family and close friends to Him. But
here, Sastri didn't introduce his family to Baba. When one of
them complained to him about this, he said, "Baba is God. He
knows everyone, so where is the need for any introductions?"
Once, during a sahavas program in 1958, while attending to
other duties entrusted to me, I forgot to introduce one of my
very dear friends, Parkhe, to Baba. Baba later had Eruch write
Parkhe directly to say,
Baba also wants me to convey to you that you need NOT
feel disturbed for NOT being personally introduced to
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Him. Introductions are felt essential only when there is

absence of genuine give and take of love between the lover
and the Beloved. . . . Baba is happy with your love. He
wants you to remember Him always.
So Sastri's reply was indeed most apt!
"Self Lost Is Freedom Gained"
From Sastri's house, Baba went to the Sai Samaj, an institution
which took care of orphans as part of its social service. As Baba
was listening to the devotional songs performed by these
children, He took a small kartal (hand percussion instrument)
from one of the boys and played along. The woman who
managed the samaj also sang for Baba. Baba casually touched
her head. This seemed to awaken such ecstasy in her that she
suddenly flung herself at Baba's chair, sobbing. Baba comforted
her.
After noon, we all returned to our residence where L. Rao
served us another nice South-Indian meal. While the mandali
enjoyed the delicacies, such as pulihara, pachadi, payasam,
papadam, perugu, etc., Baba continued to give brief audiences
to the families of Baba lovers who had come there to see Him.
Throughout the Andhra tour, Baba would have a little rice and
dal, but on some occasions went without food entirely to feed
His dear ones with His presence and love.
The praja (public) darshan program was arranged for 3:00
P.M. in the Town Hall. Hundreds of people had already
assembled there and a bagpipe band was playing when Baba
arrived. He enjoyed the music and the verve of the pipe master
so much that a little later He conveyed:
I feel very happy to hear this music. It reminds Me of the
first song that was sung ages ago that produced this
phenomenon called the Universe.
Baba looked very pleased as the program began. After the
usual formalities of a public program, Baba had His message,
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"Self Lost is Freedom Gained" read out in English and then its
translation into Telugu. The full text is given below:
When lust, greed, anger, jealousy, hatred, backbiting and
selfish desires are totally absent, God manifests His
Presence. However, these "evils" are the outcome of
impressions [sanskaras] of past lives and must necessarily
be expressed. Getting rid of them is ordinarily impossible; it
is like a rock trying to lift itself.
Nevertheless, past impressions must be expressed to be
gotten rid of, but at the same time that these past
impressions are being expressed and spent, new ones are
forged because of the assertion of the lower self. If one is to
be free of the endless chain of impressions, past and present,
this assertive lower self must be abolished. . . .
To follow the path of true karma, dnyan or bhakti-yoga is
the best remedy for the uprooting of this heritage of "evils"
derived from past impressions, expressed by constant
actions and sustained by the continual formation of new
ones.
In karma-yoga, one tries to lose one's self in selfless
service for others; in dnyan-yoga one tries to lose one's self
in contemplation and meditation. In bhakti-yoga, one tries to
lose one's self in devotion to God. Even in these yogas, it is
only at their very ultimate that the lower assertive self is lost
[in God-consciousness].
The easiest and safest way to lose one's self is by
completely surrendering to the Perfect Master. Then the
past, present and future impressions of the one who has
surrendered are drowned in the Master, [Perfect Master's
Divinity] and one is no longer either bound by or
responsible for any of one's actions whether good or bad,
expressed during one's [life of] implicit obedience to the
Master.
Thus, complete surrender to the Perfect Master is, in itself,
Freedom.
Once Baba succinctly put the entire message quoted above
into a single sentence, "Lose yourself in your Self and find
yourself in Me."
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During the darshan programs, when the messages were read

out, Baba would occasionally have a remote look on His face,
His eyes would seem to be staring at something far away, and
His fingers, especially His index fingers, with their rapid
movements almost seemed to be transmitting the spiritual truths
of the messages directly to those whose hearts were receptive.
The Avatar's life is a selfless giving of His love, a giving of His
unbounded compassion to humanity.
After the message, Baba distributed prasad to thousands of
people and by 6:00 in the evening the program ended.
"My Answer Will Reach Your Heart"
On His way back to L. Rao's house, Baba made several house
visits to various of His lovers in Machilipatnam. First Baba's car
pulled up outside the home of V. R. Naidu, who was very old
and ill and unable to leave his bed. He had sent his daughter to
wait at the gate for Baba so she could welcome Him and
garland Him.
As Baba got out of the car, she stepped forward to offer the
flowers, but, to her surprise, Baba walked right past the gate
without turning in and gestured, "I have enough around my
neck." He seemed in a hurry, and in amazement she watched
Baba quickly stride by, turn the corner, and then disappear
down a side lane, as if He were quite familiar with the
neighborhood and knew where He was going.
At a little distance, there were several hovels clustered
together. The organizers who were following Baba looked at
each other in surprise. They had scheduled no such visit and
they knew of no Baba lover living here. Baba walked up to one
of the thatched huts, the home of a low-caste mason who was an
ardent devotee of Lord Siva.
This man, whose name was B. Laksmudu, had heard of Baba's
visit and had wanted to have His darshan. But, being a poor
person of low caste, he had felt that even if he had attended the
public program, he would have been denied access to Baba.
Then he had heard that Baba would also be
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visiting the homes of some of His lovers, but as far as

Laksmudu could tell, all of these people were well off high-
caste Hindus and he complained to his wife, "How can this
Baba be the Avatar? He is only for the privileged few and
neglects those who are lowly and downtrodden!"
Imagine the man's surprise, therefore, when, immediately
after the public darshan program, Baba came personally to his
hut. Baba smiled forgivingly at the man, with such tender
acceptance in His eyes, that instantly he felt ashamed of his
earlier denunciation of Baba. Now that he was in Baba's
presence, he could not deny His compassion or love. Baba sat
with the man silently for five minutes and then got up and left
as suddenly as He had come.
At the time, none of the mandali or KDRM knew why Baba
had visited the mason's hut, or what had transpired in the poor
man's heart. It was only later that one of the local Baba lovers
went to talk to B. Laksmudu and learned the whole story. But
even though no one with Baba knew of the mason, Baba had
heard the cry of his heart and had instantly responded to it. For
Baba, no one is high-caste, no one is low-caste, no one rich, no
one poor; Baba wants only one thing, love, so that in return He
can give more of His love.
Baba walked back to V.R. Naidu's house where his daughter
was still waiting at the gate. This time, Baba lovingly accepted
her garland. The girl then read out to Baba a letter her father
had dictated to her, expressing his desire to surrender to Baba.
He was too ill to be able to talk much so he had poured out his
heart in the letter.
Baba went inside to visit the father who was lying on his bed,
unable to even get up to welcome the Master. As Baba entered
the room, the old man looked at Baba with obvious love and
Baba's eyes seemed to fill with compassion.
Baba took a few quick steps across the room and sat down on
the old man's bed and tenderly began to massage his legs and
feet. Baba gestured that He was very happy with Naidu's love
and added, "Always think of Me. I am the Ancient One; I am
Krishna." These statements, made with Baba's incomparable
divine simplicity, seemed to fill the room with His timeless
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presence.
Some sweets were brought and Baba touched them and had
them distributed as His prasad to all the members of the family.
Baba looked pleased with the love of the Naidu family and He
turned again to the invalid and reassured him, "When I say I am
the slave of my lovers, it is not just an idle remark. Till the last
moment repeat My name, BA-BA, BA-BA. I will be with you."
Perhaps this is Baba's assurance to all His dear ones who are
bedridden or ill and dying; perhaps to all who are hale and
healthy as well!
At this point, Dr. Dhanapathi interjected that Naidu was so
deaf he couldn't follow what Eruch was saying. This caused a
humorous twinkle to appear in Baba's eye and He gestured, "I
am also deaf. I listen only to very, very. . . ." but before He
could finish, the daughter who was standing a little distance
away began to sing arti. When she and the family had finished,
Baba left for a few more house visits and never completed the
sentence.
Naidu's deafness, however, was immaterial for Baba does not
need any words to reach the hearts of His lovers. A brief
incident which happened at the Rome airport during Baba's visit
to the West in 1956 illustrates this. As Baba and Eruch were
walking through the airport, a man, attracted by Baba's radiant
face, approached and asked Eruch if He (Baba) knew
Rumanian. Eruch said, "No," and just then Baba, who was
walking a few feet in front, turned and gestured, "I don't speak
Rumanian, but I know what is in your heart and my answer will
reach your heart!"
After the house visits, Baba returned to L. Rao's residence at
about 7:00 that evening. Supper was served to the mandali and
then they hurriedly packed their small bedding-rolls and got
ready to travel to Eluru, a three-hour car journey. The Baba
lovers in Machilipatnam gathered to see Baba off. At 8:00 the
caravan left, as usual to the rousing cheers of "Prem Avatar
Meher Baba Ki Jai!"
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Cold Drinks that Warmed the Heart

No stops were scheduled on the way to Eluru so all were
surprised when Baba's car stopped at a crossroads in Gudiwada.
Baba sat quietly in the car, without explaining why He had
asked Dharma Rao to stop. After a few minutes a man was seen
approaching the intersection carrying a lantern and a bunch of
bananas. He was accompanied by a small group of men and
women.
They approached Baba's car and the man walked up to Baba
and asked in Telugu, "Is Meher Baba here?" Baba indicated that
he should ask Kutumba Sastri who was sitting in the back seat
so the man repeated his question and explained that he had
come there just so he could have Meher Baba's darshan.
On learning that Meher Baba Himself was the one he had first
addressed, he looked overjoyed. He lifted his lantern and gazed
at Baba's resplendent face and then humbly offered the bananas
to Him. Baba accepted this gift and then graciously gave
darshan to him and to his group of friends and relatives. With
great joy the small group then left.
Once again, the significance of this chance meeting was
discovered only after Baba had left Andhra. At the time, no one
knew why Baba had stopped the car or where those people had
come from. But later it was discovered that the man lived in a
village which was between Gudiwada and Machilipatnam. He
had seen one of the flyers announcing Avatar Meher Baba's
darshan at Machilipatnam and wanted to go, but he couldn't
because he had to attend a court case instead.
So he asked the organizers when Baba was leaving
Machilipatnam for Eluru and was told "8:00." Knowing that
Baba's car would have to pass through Gudiwada on its way, he
decided he would go there from his village and see Baba as He
passed. He figured out approximately how long it would take
Baba's car to reach Gudiwada and set out from his village on
foot accordingly.
His friends thought it pointless, but he told them, "If Baba is
really a 'Great One,' then He will know the yearning of my heart
and He will grant me darshan." The man's faith was
127
strong enough that eventually some of his friends and relatives

decided to go with him. Not only did Baba grant him darshan,
but Baba was found at the crossroads, waiting for him to arrive
so He could give it. His friends and relatives, who had been
dubious about Baba's divinity, left convinced that He was
indeed omniscient.
As this small group walked away from the car, instead of
proceeding directly to Eluru, Baba expressed a wish for a soft
drink. So some of those with Baba started looking for a shop
which was open at that hour of the night. As the search was
going on, the bus carrying the rest of the mandali and the others
arrived. Baba decided that everyone should have a soft drink
and one of the local people said there was a cold drink shop a
little further down the road which might have enough drinks for
the large group.
They drove on a little way and then pulled up in front of the
Durga Cold Drink Shop. Eruch and some of the Andhra lovers
entered the shop. Eruch asked for a glass and then proceeded to
clean it thoroughly himself. The shop owner was intrigued at
this and wanted to know for whom such care was being taken.
Eruch replied it was for Meher Baba and the local lovers
explained that Meher Baba was the Avatar, Rama come again.
Hearing this, the shopkeeper was thrilled and even more
excited, moments later, when Baba Himself entered the shop.
Baba wanted drinks distributed to all and the shop owner set to
handing out cold drinks as quickly as he could. The first few
were given to Baba who then personally distributed them to
those who were traveling with Him.
The walls of the shop were lined with mirrors so Baba's face
was reflected in multiple images on all sides. What a delightful
scene that was; a most memorable evening when cold drinks
warmed the heart! The owner discovered that he had just
enough stock on hand so that everyone there could have a drink.
When all had been served, Baba told one of the mandali to pay,
but the shop owner refused to accept any money.
He insisted that it was his good fortune to have been given the
privilege of serving Baba and His party and that he could
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not accept any money for this. Baba told the mandali member to
explain that He (Baba) was giving the money, not as payment,
but as His prasad. At this, the man relented and lovingly
accepted the money with great reverence.
Incidentally, some years later the shop owner became a very
prosperous and wealthy businessman. There are many such
instances where people who have offered even a little service
with love and respect to Baba, without necessarily accepting
Him as the Avatar, have been rewarded in a material way. But
in each case, the real reward, the true treasure, has been that
their link with the Avatar—God in human form—has no doubt
been strengthened by these brief and unexpected contacts.
129
MEMORABLE STAY AT ELURU
1954 - PART VII
"Breaking" the Silence
A little after 11:00 on the night of February 22, Meher Baba
reached Eluru. This time also, as in the previous year, He stayed
in Katta Subba Rao's garden, in the two-room cottage known as
the Kuti. The host had done all he could to make sure that Baba
and His party would be comfortable. The Kuti was decorated
and provided with furniture, while temporary electric lights had
also been installed. The verandah had been extended by means
of an awning, creating a covered area in front of the Kuti for
Baba and others to sit under.
A temporary thatched pandal-type structure had been erected
for Baba's mandali and the Andhra lovers traveling with them.
It had folding cots for all, with a chair next to each cot. Latrines,
bath rooms, a kitchen and dining hall had also been thoughtfully
arranged. So loving and lavish was the host that when all
reached Eluru, Baba jokingly warned us to be careful about our
stomachs as Subba Rao would, in his hospitality, undoubtedly
tempt us to overeat!
Although it was late, before Baba could retire to His room for
rest, He was surrounded by some of the Baba families of Eluru.
Ever compassionate and willing to sacrifice His own comforts
to please His lovers, Baba greeted them and then permitted
them to sing His arti.
When the mandali reached their quarters, they found that
Subba Rao had prepared tea for all and it was certainly welcome
and refreshing after the night journey. This sort of loving
concern for the well-being and comfort of Baba's mandali was
typical of all our hosts in Andhra Pradesh. But like different
voices singing the same sweet song, no one expressed it in
exactly the same way.
The next day, as was customary during tours with Baba, all
woke up early in the morning, at around 5:00. By 7:00 we were
130
all gathered under the nicely decorated awning which was

facing Baba's Kuti. Carpets had been spread on the ground to sit
on. There was also a special tent pitched nearby for Gabriel
Pascal, who was expected to arrive to film Baba.
Pascal was a famous Hollywood movie producer whom
George Bernard Shaw had called a "genius" for his brilliant
adaptation of Pygmalion to the screen. Pascal had met Baba in
Zurich in 1934 28 and had been enthusiastic about producing a
film on Baba's life under the title, "The Slippers of the Perfect
Master." He was also interested in making a movie on Gandhi.
He was supposed to come to India to be with Baba, especially
so he could film Baba on His birthday. Pascal had even bought
his ticket to fly to India but his life was in turmoil and, at the
last minute, he could not make it.
Soon a good number of people had arrived at Subba Rao's
garden and were admitted through the gate. These were friends
and relatives of the host. Even more people were left standing
outside the garden, waiting to be allowed in. Baba came out of
His hut and signaled that the gates should be flung open so all
could enter.
Thus what had been planned as an informal and intimate
gathering turned into a small darshan program. Families
joyfully approached Baba, the women pushing their shy
children in front of them, or carrying their babies to be laid at
Baba's feet. It was a colorful sight to see, the women's saris
flashing in the early morning sun. Most had brought garlands,
some quite elaborate, with which to adorn Baba, but some
simply folded their hands with great reverence when it was their
turn to stand before Him.
A brass band arrived from somewhere and began playing the
festive music usually associated with joyous celebrations.
Meanwhile, two or three pandits chanted Sanskrit verses in
praise of the Avatar. A Baba lover recited a very melodious
prayer in Telugu. A disciple of Swami Shivananda, who was
studying in Eluru, read a poem he had written on Baba's
divinity. He was so overpowered by Baba's presence that as he
read he trembled from head to foot with emotion. Baba patted
the young man and His soothing touch helped the poet compose
28
Glimpses of the God-Man, Meher Baba, Vol. III, p. 82.
131
himself.
After all of this there was a music program which all enjoyed.
Baba seemed to like it so much that He conveyed the following
from His board:
Before the end of the year, God will make Me sing the
first original song and those who love Me will be lost in that
song to find Me in everyone and everything.
The atmosphere of love which prevailed in the garden on this
occasion seemed to transport those present to the celestial
regions. Many could be seen silently weeping, while others
were enraptured, gazing at Beloved Baba's indescribable
beauty.
One swami from the crowd got up and began to dance in
ecstasy. Baba seemed delighted at this and picked up a kansi (a
percussion instrument which consists of long metal tongs with a
ring attached) and began keeping time Himself while the swami
danced on.
The "three messages" were read out, along with their Telugu
translations, as they were at almost every darshan. Afterward,
Baba conveyed:
When I break My silence, the greatest divine miracle of all
time will happen. To be worthy to receive My divine grace
at that moment, prepare yourself from now on by loving
Me. I really am, and always have been, the slave of My
lovers.
This theme of Baba's intimating to His lovers that He was
about to break His silence was repeated several times in His
second Andhra visit. Two days earlier, at Guntur, on the 21st,
Baba had declared at the end of a fairly long message, "Now, I
am giving Myself some good news—that as I really am fed up
with this silence, soon I will have to get rid of this [alphabet]
board and break My silence."
Earlier, in Machilipatnam, Baba had added, "God will make
me break My silence soon. . . and then the world will realize
that God alone is real and that every one of us is eternally one
with God."
132
There has been much speculation as to what Baba meant by

such cryptic references to His silence and the breaking of it.
Only Baba knows the full significance of His statements, but
the effect has been to intensify the love that His dear ones have
for Him.
Some people have been drawn to Baba through His promises
to break His silence because they felt that soon He would
unmistakably reveal His divinity to the world and they would be
benefited. When these promises did not seem to be fulfilled,
those who came only because of Baba's promises drifted away,
disappointed.
In a way, therefore, Baba's promises to break His silence are a
challenge to His lovers. Those whose love for Baba enables
them to concentrate on Baba and not His silence or its breaking,
find that eventually in holding onto Baba they have every thing
in His gentle, supportive Presence.
Even today, for some the prospect of Baba suddenly breaking
His silence continues to loom on the horizon like a glorious
sunrise heralding the dawn of the new humanity. Only time will
reveal what Baba's breaking of His silence really means.
However, blessed are they who are content in the act of loving
Baba just for what He is—the Avatar, God in human form.
The program ended just before noon and Baba asked us all to
have our lunch, rest and be back at His Kuti by 2:00 that
afternoon.
"The Avatar's and Masters' Love and Grace"
The mandali were getting ready to be at Baba's Kuti by 2:00,
but fifteen minutes before the hour, Baba on His own came to
visit them. Baba usually would find time to visit His mandali
and see where they were staying. Although we knew this trait of
Baba's, we were not prepared for this visit and some could be
observed quickly straightening up their beds and clothes so that
everything looked neat and tidy.
It seems that Baba's decision to visit the mandali must have
been rather sudden, in fact, for we noticed that Eruch hadn't
133
even had time to put his sandals on but had accompanied Baba
barefoot. Baba's visits to the hearts of His lovers are equally
unforeseen and unpredictable!
After staying a few minutes at the mandali's quarters, Baba
walked to a small platform built on the spot where Baba had sat
for some time during His first visit, the previous year. The local
lovers had decided to erect a small structure there to
commemorate that event, but due to some difficulties the work
had not proceeded. Now there was only the platform there, but
upon this they had placed a large painting of Baba. Baba bowed
down to the painting.
Then Baba started rapidly walking back and forth on the
garden lawn, from one end to the other. He seemed to be in a
pensive mood. After ten minutes or so, He returned to the
verandah of His cottage and sat there, still absorbed in His inner
work. The index finger of Baba's right hand was moving
quickly in that characteristic way of His when working on the
inner planes.
Baba got up and walked back and forth on the verandah
barefoot, but still absorbed in His work. Then He sat down
again. Adi approached Him with some telegrams in his hand,
but Baba didn't pay any attention to him. Getting up from the
chair, He paced back and forth on the verandah again and then
entered the hut and went into His room. There He sat back on
an easy chair, His hands clasped behind His head. Adi again
read the telegrams to Baba and this time Baba gave Adi some
instructions, although He still seemed withdrawn and in His
working mood.
A little later, Baba came back outside and sat in the chair for a
while and then again got up and began pacing on the verandah.
At around ten minutes before three, Adi interrupted Baba's
mood by drawing His attention to the messages which were to
be given out at a later public program. Baba seemed amused at
this juxtaposition of His deep inner working in the spiritual
realms and these mundane details and His fingers flew across
the board spelling out this brief but penetrating statement:
134
Life is a mighty divine joke. That is the best way to

describe it—a mighty divine joke. A zero. In fact, to even
say it is zero is to grant it existence!
Baba's mood has been described here in such detail only to
show that even during darshan tours, Baba's inner work (which
always continued) occasionally expressed itself in His
withdrawn and absorbed moods.
Soon after, Baba left for the darshan which was being held at
Ramkuti. Kirtan was already underway when Baba arrived.
Baba went to His chair on the dais and sat. A regal yet
mysterious simplicity seemed to emanate from Him. After a few
moments, Baba got up and came down and sat on the ground
with the people for a while before resuming His seat. Baba then
explained on His board:
I am one of you; that is why I sat on your level. It is not
just for show, but My eternal experience of being one with
everyone of you.
This was one of the largest gatherings of Baba's darshan tour
and at the edge of the crowd, some of the older people with
weak eyesight, were making telescopes of their fists and peering
through them at Baba's marvelous form. The following
message, "The Avatar's and Masters' Love and Grace" was read
out over the address system:
It makes Me very happy to see you all here and I
appreciate the feeling of love and devotion with which you
have approached Me. I know and understand your
difficulties, problems, sufferings and expectations; these
you need not voice to Me either by word or action.
The world has been suffering from natural and unnatural
calamities in various forms. The picture of the whole human
race is indeed a sorry one, but suffering is the heritage of
mankind. There is not only individual suffering, but the
whole world is suffering in the grip of fear and anguish. It is
the Divine Will that lies behind human suffering, for
nothing happens without the Divine Will.
There are individual as well as national and universal
135
problems, which need the spiritual guidance of the Avatar

and the Perfect Masters, who guide humanity through their
divine messages. . . .
The Avatar and the Perfect Masters give their divine
guidance and protection to the human race and to the world
in their own unique and imperceptible ways, which are
beyond the grasp of human intellect. The Avatar and the
Perfect Masters are the true Saviours of mankind and not
just of the selected. Their love and Grace alone sustain the
universe.
A disciple or devotee should never approach the Avatar or
a Perfect Master with a mind clouded with doubts and
queries of why, when and wherefore. This can be a
hindrance to his receptivity of the Master's grace, which is
beyond the probings of the intellect.
So I say with divine authority, approach Me with unfailing
faith, love and devotion, and with the longing to receive My
divine love and grace. My blessings.
Baba's words, given out in His divine presence, filled the
hearts of the audience and lifted their spirits, filling their beings
with a profound feeling. The president of the local reception
committee sang Baba's arti and then the people started coming
for Baba's darshan and He began distributing prasad to them.
The arrangements had been so well planned that Baba was able
to give prasad with both hands; one hand for the women and
the other for the men.
In the midst of this distribution, a mast got into the queue.
Pointing toward Baba, he kept shouting out, "Rama, Rama." We
later learned that he was also pleading with Baba in Telugu to
break His silence. Baba embraced him and fed him a banana
with His own hands. Madan Arora captured this on film and
something of the ecstasy in the mast's eyes can be seen even
though the footage is rather brief. After the darshan program,
Baba and His mandali returned to their residence in the garden.
Interestingly enough, just like the "chargeman" at Orai, this
mast was never seen again, even though later, the Baba lovers
of Eluru tried to locate him.
136
Baba's Orders Are Potential Opportunities

That evening, Baba was sitting under the awning in front of the
Kuti. There was a small crowd gathered around Him. A Muslim
gentleman came and conversed with Baba in Urdu. As he was
leaving, Baba sent Ramjoo, one of His Muslim disciples, after
him with the message that he should continue to think of Baba
wholeheartedly until he loses himself in Baba.
After supper, again a crowd gathered and at about 8:00 that
night a dance program was staged by some girls from a local
musical institution. They performed a dance depicting the ten
incarnations of Vishnu, according to Hindu mythology. The
chief dancer was the daughter of a Baba lover. After each
segment of the dance, Baba called her to Him and expressed His
love and appreciation.
Baba liked music, dance and, in fact, any art form that uplifted
the hearts of the audience or opened them to feel God's
presence. He did not require that the art form be explicitly
spiritual, as Baba's love for comedy attests. Perhaps guileless
laughter, by itself, is instrumental in opening the heart to God's
love. One time Baba said that it was a divine art just to look
cheerful, as this helped others.
In the crowd was a sadhu named M. Swami. He had met Baba
during His first visit to Andhra in 1953. On his own he had
offered at that time to stay in Subba Rao's garden and act as a
caretaker, looking after Baba's Kuti. Baba had agreed but added
that if Swami wanted to stay in the garden, he should stay there
permanently.
Someone brought it to Baba's attention, as He was sitting
there in the garden that night, that M. Swami had not followed
His instructions and, after staying a while in the garden, had left
and gone elsewhere. Baba turned to him and asked why he had
done this. Swami complained that he had not been treated
properly, had not been shown enough respect! There was a look
of displeasure on Baba's face as He replied:
Is that the reason? It would have been better if you had
died rather than left [the garden] and disobeyed My
137
orders. If you want God, all inconveniences are nothing.

They cannot be used as an excuse for disobeying Me.
Swami looked upset at this stern rebuke and, realizing his
error, tears began streaming from his eyes. Baba paused for a
while and then took pity on him and, perhaps to nullify the
impact created by his disobedience, Baba gave him new orders:
From the day I leave Andhra, I want you to stay at some
place, any place, in a small room for forty days. Don't take
any food. Don't sleep, even for a minute. One cup of milk
and one cup of tea you can have, nothing else. You can
drink as much water as you want, but don't leave the place
you're staying at, except to go to the toilet or bathe. Don't go
to the bazaar. Day and night repeat, "BABA, BABA."
Even if you go mad or die, don't break these orders. And
don't make a show of what you are doing. Don't let anyone
bow down to you or fold their hands to you. If you obey Me
100% you'll get a glimpse of Me.
About half an hour later, Baba turned to Swami again and
reemphasized the importance of obeying His orders. Swami
seemed apprehensive at the severity of the orders, but Baba
reassured him: "Don't be nervous. Do it with love. If you do it
wholeheartedly, I will help you."
Being the Compassionate Father in whatever He does or asks
others to do, Baba's compassion is always present. But
sometimes, if one's faith in Baba's All-knowingness and Love is
weak, His orders seem frightening. It has been observed,
however, that Baba's orders, even when they appear difficult or
harsh, are always blessed opportunities for the ones to whom
they are given to get rid of some impressions which have been
obstructing the deeper awakening of the heart to the love and
beauty of God within.
If one willingly accepted Baba's orders, even when they
seemed impossible or outlandish, and wholeheartedly resolved
to carry them out then one of two things happened. Baba either
rescinded the orders on His own, or one found that the
138
impossible turned out to be delightfully possible. It was as if

Baba had already done the work and one merely had to go
through the motions, enduring the suspense until the happy
ending.
I have experienced this myself on several occasions. For
example, in 1949, instead of allowing me to be with Him in the
New Life, Baba sent me to contact a friend of mine who was
staying somewhere in the Hardwar-Rishikesh area in the
foothills of the Himalayas. I had never been there in my life and
had no idea where my friend might be staying. The task seemed
hopeless, especially as my health was very poor.
I discovered, however, that the long journey was surprisingly
pleasant and I found my friend in the very first place I happened
to look! Such is Baba's omnipotence. Baba's orders are
opportunities for us to develop deeper faith in Him and thus to
surrender more and more to Him.
Returning to that night in Katta Subba Rao's garden, just as
we were about to disperse for bed, a singer from Amalapuram
asked Baba to give him just five minutes so he could show Baba
how he was able to make a sound like a flute using only his
fingers. With the wonder of a child expressed on His face, Baba
agreed to this unusual request and had the man come inside the
main room of the Kuti.
The man laced his fingers together and blew into his hands
and all heard such a nice tone that it was hard to believe he
didn't have a flute. The man then played a melody and Baba
liked the performance so much that He asked the man to do it
again for Gustadji who had missed the first performance.
Before Baba sent the mandali away, He told them that on the
next night, February 24, they would have to stay awake all night
long. Baba then told all to be back there, at His Kuti, at 8:00 the
next morning.
At 7:00 in the morning of February 24, Baba again surprised
the mandali by visiting them before they could assemble at the
Kuti. As usual, Baba asked various ones how they had slept,
how they were feeling, etc. At that time Subba Rao appeared
wearing a new coat which he proudly displayed. He then
explained in his inimitable mixture of English, Hindi
139
and Telugu, that last year he had presented a piece of cloth to

Baba who had returned it to him as prasad and instructed him to
have a coat made of it. Now Baba and Subba Rao both—giver
and recipient—looked delighted with the end result.
Two Heart-Moving Visits
Baba returned to the Kuti and began discussing the day's
program with the local organizers. He wanted to know when He
was going to make house visits and KDRM explained that they
hadn't scheduled any house visits because there were so many
Baba lovers in Eluru and there was so little time in which to
visit them.
Baba, however, expressed His wish to visit the homes of His
lovers. KDRM replied that in that case they would need some
time, not only to make up a list of whom Baba should visit, but
also to notify those on the list so they could prepare to receive
Baba. But Baba didn't want to wait for such arrangements to be
made. Often it has been noticed that once Baba decided to do
something, He wanted to do it immediately without any sort of
delay.
KDRM were hesitating about this precipitous change in the
program so Baba mollified them by saying, "Let the visits be
surprise visits; everyone will get more pleasure from them that
way." Baba added that KDRM should do their best to quickly
notify as many people as possible of the impending visits in the
short time available to them, but that they shouldn't worry about
it if they couldn't contact everyone.
Hurriedly, KDRM sketched out a program for Baba. While
they were doing this, a police department clerk named
Veerachari, who was present, approached them and asked them
to include his home in the list of those whom Baba would visit.
Although his house was on the same street as several of the
prominent Baba lovers in town, KDRM decided not to include
it as it was very small and the roof was so low that Baba would
have to bend down to enter.
It seemed to Veerachari, however, that the organizers were
140
favoring the wealthy Baba lovers. On top of his disappointment

that Baba would not be visiting his home, was the bitterness at
the unfairness of life which had deprived him of the rare good
fortune of having the Avatar bless his house.
KDRM sent out people to notify those whose homes had been
selected for visits, but after only a few minutes, well before they
could have informed very many people, Baba insisted on
starting out. As His car pulled out of the garden, Veerachari
watched it go with a mingled sadness and frustration. He was so
upset that he didn't join the party following Baba's car, but
stayed behind in the garden and wept.
As soon as Baba's car reached the main road, Dharma Rao
began to turn left, as it had been decided that Baba would first
visit the home of K.N. Chaudhary, the editor of "Avatar
Meher," a Telugu periodical. Baba, however, reached over and
put His hand on the steering wheel and indicated that he should
turn right. With a puzzled look on his face, Dharma Rao said,
"No, Baba, it's to the left." But again Baba gestured that he
should turn right and one of the mandali explained, "Just go
wherever Baba directs you." And, surprisingly, Baba directed
Dharma Rao straight to Veerachari's small home.
Baba got out and, bending low, entered the room where
Veerachari's mother, wife and little baby were living. One of the
organizers quickly introduced the startled family to Baba. Baba
sat down on a roughly woven charpai and told the family that
He had come especially to bless them, and then added that they
could perform His arti if they so wished. In Andhra, it is
customary to burn camphor while performing arti but the family
that day had none in the house so they simply folded their hands
and, expressing their heartfelt praise of Baba, reverentially
prostrated at His feet.
Baba gestured, "I have heard your prayers and I have come to
bless you and the child." Baba picked up the baby and held it in
His arms, blessing it with His caress. Baba then embraced the
women and conveyed, "Tell Veerachari that I have come. Tell
him not to worry, that I have blessed you all. I am for all."
At that very moment, Veerachari was sitting in Subba Rao's
garden, weeping because Baba was not going to visit his home.
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Instantaneous is Baba's response to the deep inner yearning of

His lovers! Rumi, the Persian poet and Perfect Master, once
wrote:
Your cry of "Allah!" is in itself God's "Here am I."
Under your every "O Allah!" whispers many a "Here am I."
Baba then turned and, with the four or five people who had
squeezed inside with Him, left the house and returned to the car.
Then they proceeded to Chaudhary's house as originally
planned. In the hall there was a big picture of Sai Baba.
Pointing to it, Baba remarked, "His eyes were matchless. No
one had such eyes in the whole world." Baba also folded His
hands to offer His respects to Sai Baba. Later that morning,
Baba visited a Sai Baba temple at which time He remarked, "He
is my Grandpa. He and the other four Perfect Masters of this
Age made Me what I am—the Ancient One."
On leaving Chaudhary's house, once again Baba interrupted
the scheduled program and directed Dharma Rao this time to a
nearby school. Baba got down and, as if He knew the place
well, entered the school and went straight to the fourth form
classroom. The headmaster and the teachers were taken aback.
They thought to themselves, "This is Meher Baba! But why has
He come here and why don't those with Him stop to introduce
Him to us?" But there was no time to ask these questions, much
less to get them answered, for Baba had quickly disappeared
inside the classroom, with His group rapidly following along
behind.
As soon as Baba entered, one of the boys stood up and
shouted, "Meher Baba" and tears started flowing from his eyes.
Before the others could take in what was happening, Baba had
embraced the boy and was telling him through gestures, "Tell
your parents that I came and gave you darshan." And then, as
unexpectedly as He had come, Baba turned and walked back to
the car, leaving the entire school buzzing with His recent visit.
It was not until several hours later, when the boy appeared in
Subba Rao's garden with his parents, that the mandali
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learned the full story. It seems this boy had happened to pick up
one of the pamphlets announcing Avatar Meher Baba's arrival
and darshan program at Eluru. For some reason he instantly felt
drawn to Baba and asked his parents to take him for Baba's
darshan. Being Brahmins, however, his parents saw no reason
why they should go visit a Parsi for his blessings and so they
refused. The boy was heartbroken but there was nothing he
could do.
That night he slept with the pamphlet, which had Baba's
picture on it, under his pillow. He spent a restless night,
thinking of Baba, and the next morning, after refusing to eat
breakfast, he went off to school. The parents had not discussed
their son's odd wish to have Baba's darshan with anyone and
neither had the boy. But Baba, the "In-dweller" of every heart,
was fully aware of what the boy was going through and
lovingly responded to his sincere yearning.
When the boy told his parents that Baba had come personally
to see him at school, they relented in their opposition and
agreed to accompany their son to Subba Rao's garden. There,
Baba graciously allowed the whole family to see Him briefly
and the parents repented to Baba for their previous views.
As far as I know, the family did not become "Baba lovers" as
such; unless Baba wills it, no one can love Him as Meher Baba.
But the Avatar, being the floodtide of love, does not flow only
in one channel but swells the currents of every river running to
the sea. Thus the family's path of rituals and orthodoxy must
have been enlivened and quickened—redolent with the per-
vasive presence of God—owing to their contact with the
Avatar. Baba has His own way of reaching the hearts of His
dear ones, and is infinitely patient waiting for His lovers to
come to Him.
A Printing Press and a Pan Shop
From 8:30 that morning to a little after 11:30, Baba visited the
homes and business places of His lovers in Eluru. That after-
noon, from around 3:30 to 6:00 P.M., Baba continued with
143
His visits. Nowhere else did Baba make as many visits as He

did in Eluru.
His pace was so fast that Kishan Singh, who kept a diary,
could only obtain information on thirty-five of the sixty places
Baba visited. Sometimes the mandali's bus, for example, would
be unable to enter a narrow lane, and by the time they got down
and caught up with Baba on foot, He would already be returning
after having made one or two visits.
Wherever Baba went, He would be received with great
reverence, garlanded, and arti would be performed. Baba would
be introduced to all the members of the family and sometimes
He would offer them prasad or agree to sit with them for a
group photo. But although these outward formalities tended to
be the same at each place, the inner give and take of love
between the Beloved and His dear ones always varied. Baba
would embrace some, pat another on the back, stroke one's
cheek. In little ways, Baba made each feel that He was not only
responding to them as individuals, but that His love was
personally and intimately meant for them alone!
One of the businesses Baba visited was a printing press run by
Venkata Rao. He, and a good many of his staff, were ardent
Baba lovers. Baba was introduced to all the heads of the various
departments of the press, as well as their employees and took a
great interest in it all, inspecting each machine and listening as
V. Rao explained what it was used for. Baba seemed
particularly taken with a machine which took large pieces of
paper and automatically folded them until they were book size.
Perhaps Baba took such an interest because of all the work
this press had done in Baba's cause. When Eruch and Pendu had
come to Andhra in 1952 (before the Fiery Free Life), each
morning on waking, they were handed a copy of the talk they
had given the night before. All of this was done by this press,
with its staff working late at night to prepare the pamphlets.
During Baba's 1953 and '54 visits also, the press had printed
hundreds of thousands of leaflets: copies of Meher Baba's
messages in Telugu and in English, for the benefit of the people.
144
Before Baba left, the staff gathered and sang in chorus some
verses glorifying Him. As Baba left, He noticed some of His
mandali who had waited outside the press while He was being
shown around as they had thought there wasn't enough room for
them all. Some thought that the press was a little too noisy and
stuffy for comfort! Baba casually turned to them and gestured
that before they all left for Penugonda that night, they had to
find time to visit the press on their own!
During Baba's journeys and darshan tours, He always wanted
His mandali (His "spiritual baggage," as Chanji would refer to
them) to share things with Him whether they liked them or not.
If Baba ever noticed that some of His mandali refrained from
participating in something because it was not to their taste then,
with a mischievous twinkle in His eyes, He would gesture,
"Don't miss that!"
Later, Baba also visited Venkata Rao's home, and gave prasad
to his son. He gestured, "When I give anything unasked, it is
really given." Because not everyone could be informed in
advance of Baba's visit, at some homes some of the family
members were not present. At other homes, there was surprised
delight at Baba's unexpected appearance.
At one place, it appeared that no one there had any idea who
Baba was, and the people were quite startled to find this
"stranger" with so many others following Him, appear in their
compound. However, Baba's presence was such that the family
welcomed Him. Another family seemed surprised at Baba's
visit, but it could not be ascertained whether they had known of
Baba beforehand or not. At another home, the family knew
Baba but hadn't been expecting Him and rushed to get a nice
chair for Him to sit on. Before they could arrange this, however,
Baba had already walked through the house and left by the other
entrance!
Baba also paid a visit to the house of one who owned a small
pan shop nearby. The organizers did not know him. Baba,
however, entered and sat on a charpai and gestured, "Let me sit
here for five minutes; it is so cool here!" What an excuse to
bless these people. Did the family even realize what good
fortune it was having? Probably not. But it was not necessary
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to know who Baba was for His love was self-communicative.

Baba's house visits in Eluru had a certain Nauranga flavor to
them; Baba seemed to be spontaneously going wherever His
heart led Him, whether the residents had consciously invited
Him or not. What an incredible living illustration of divine
compassion!
"Myself Is for Those Who Love Me"
At the home of a lawyer, Baba asked how many children he
had. The man replied, "Fifteen." Baba looked surprised and then
asked him to introduce all the children to Him one by one. By
the time the attorney got to his fourth child he had gotten the
names mixed up and couldn't remember the child's right name.
Baba and all the others had a good laugh over this.
The lawyer's wife corrected her husband and then stepped
forward to garland Baba, but Baba, with a warm hearted glance,
spelled out on His board, "No garland; no arti. Such things
mean you are not relating to Me naturally. Let Baba feel at
home here. Love is most natural and I feel so happy that, in My
presence, your husband can't even remember the names of his
children!"
At the home of M. Ramalingeshwar Sastri, who was usually
referred to as "Baba Sastri," owing to his penchant for
constantly talking about Baba and interspersing his talks with
Sanskrit slokas, one of the family members asked Baba, "My
Lord, Baba, what can I place at Your lotus feet, other than my
own heart? What else can I give you?" This question seemed to
kindle a divine light in Baba's eyes and with an aura of love
illuminating His face, Baba conveyed, "Give Me what is not
Mine! Everything is Mine, except Myself; Myself is for those
who love Me."
What a profound statement describing Baba's status and work
as the Avatar, yet clothed in such simple words. Here, Baba
seems to imply that He is in us and suffers for us to reveal
Himself within us. This is the Avatar's game of love and
crucifixion. So what is there for us to offer Him?
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As Baba left the home, an old blind woman was found sitting
on the verandah. She had some sweets in her hand which she
offered to Baba who accepted them gracefully, as if they were
most precious and that He was really happy to receive them. At
Dr. K. Suryanarayana's house, all the members of the family
stood in two rows so Baba could walk between them.
Hanumantha Rao, a government official, was introduced to
Baba and he in turn introduced his sister's daughter with the
remark that she had secured first class in her last examination.
Baba called her to Him and joked, "I like first class people,
because I am the First of the first class, in everything!"
Baba also visited the home of Y. Ranga Rao, the "R" of
KDRM. Ranga Rao was one of the pioneers of Baba work in
Andhra. Owing to some of his profound experiences, he had a
rock-like conviction in Baba's divinity. He was outspoken to the
point of bluntness as far as Baba's Avatarhood was concerned.
Once it had been arranged for a high government official to
meet Ranga Rao. Immediately Ranga Rao began declaring to
him in no uncertain terms Baba's greatness. The official was not
responsive; he didn't pay attention to Ranga Rao as he
continued to work on various files before him. Ranga Rao
stopped and said, "Excuse me, Sir, but it seems to me that it is
stupid of you to behave like this!"
This got the man's attention for he had never been spoken to
like that in his office before. Ranga Rao explained, "Here I am,
telling you about Avatar Meher Baba, the most important thing
you will ever hear in your entire life, and you aren't even
listening. Tell me frankly, if you are not interested, I'll leave, for
I have better things to do with my time than wasting such
precious news on one who is acting so foolishly!"
The official was completely taken aback, but he did put aside
his files and give Ranga Rao his undivided attention. What he
made of Ranga Rao's discourse on Meher Baba cannot be said,
for he never invited Ranga Rao back again. But the incident
must have made a lasting impression upon him, for words
spoken with love and conviction in Baba have a deep inner
impact on people, regardless of whether they accept
147
Baba or not.
Y. Ranga Rao was a lion in Baba's work and was responsible
for the first Meher Baba Center in Andhra being established in
Eluru. Around him gathered a small group of dedicated Baba
workers who were, in turn, responsible for spreading Baba's
message and establishing centers in other parts of Andhra. This
early group of Baba lovers in Eluru consisted of two Sastris,
Subramanyam and Ramalingeshwar; five Raos, Poornachandra,
Dr. Kondala, Chelapthi, Jagannadha, and Ramamohan; T.V.S.
Prasad, P. Balaramaiah, Dr. Suryanarayana and others.
They were all completely dedicated to Baba and, in fact,
witnessing their fiery conviction in Baba, some will be
reminded of the lines of a mystic who exhorted:
Thrive, thrive, O Love Divine, thy happy madness
Sole remedy for all life's ills and sadness!
Baba seemed very happy to be visiting Ranga Rao's house and
blessed all the members of his dear family. To Dhannama,
Ranga Rao's wife, Baba conveyed, "Don't worry about
anything. Ranga Rao is very dear to Me." And with a delightful,
radiant smile, Baba moved on to the next house.
Y. Ramamohan Rao Keeps Watch at the Gate
Baba visited the home of K. Subramanyam Sastri. The first
Baba Center in Andhra had been opened in his house. There
was a painted portrait of Baba there, done by Ranga Rao, which
Baba reverently bowed to and touched its feet. Then Baba
gestured for His arti to be performed, at the end of which, Baba
threw a piece of prasad to Y. Ranga Rao who caught it. Perhaps
this was in appreciation for all of his efforts in Baba's cause.
Baba also threw a piece to Subba Rao who missed it the first
time around, but was able to catch it the second time. Apart
from the spiritual significance of giving prasad, Baba's making
a game out of it in this way always kept the atmosphere light
and lively.
148
At K.L. Radha's house, Baba was offered some fruit juice. He

sipped a little and then gave it to Mrs. Radha and told her to
drink the rest, spelling on His board, "When God gives you a
son, name him Meher Das." The mandali were offered soft
drinks but when Dr. Deshmukh wanted a second bottle, Baba
lovingly teased him and told him he had had enough.
Dr. K. Suryanarayana was also honored with a house visit. He
was commonly known to the mandali as Dr. Kanakadandi and
he looked after the mandali's health during the entire tour. From
the way he would listen to our complaints and then dispense
some homeopathic treatment, we suspected the cures were more
due to his absolute conviction in Baba's divinity and to his
taking Baba's name as he prescribed, than to the medicine itself.
In addition to his medical duties, Dr. Kanakadandi's great love
for Baba inspired him to pitch in and help make the mandali
comfortable in any way he could, doing little favors for them
every chance he got.
During the house visits, whenever Baba was introduced to
anyone who was ill, He would usually give them special prasad
or give them certain instructions to follow. For example, at the
home of Y. Ramamohan Rao, when Baba was told there was
something wrong with Ramamohan Rao's wife's eyes, He
instructed, "Take a glass of water and add a pinch of clean table
salt. Wash your eyes several times a day and each time repeat
My name seven times before washing." Repetition of Baba's
name with love is, in fact, the cure for this disease called life.
Ramamohan Rao brought his fifteen-month-old baby to Baba.
The child looked at Baba very intently the whole time he was
with Him. When Baba got into the car to leave, the little one
stared at Baba as if he knew Him.
Perhaps it is fitting here to say something about Y.
Ramamohan Rao, one of the early staunch Baba workers.
During Baba's 1953 visit to Eluru, Ramamohan Rao once asked
Baba to grant him such a darshan that he would only be aware
of Baba and nothing else. Baba told him that he should not ask
for such a thing, but then, some time later, when they happened
149
to be together, Baba placed His hand on Ramamohan Rao's

chest. Instantly the world vanished and all Ramamohan Rao
saw, wherever he looked, was Baba.
In this dazed state, Baba led him to the dais where a very brief
program had been arranged, but Ramamohan Rao did not see
any of the people there, he only saw Baba. A little later, Baba
touched him on the shoulder and the experience ended—he
again became aware of the people, the hustle and bustle around
him.
In 1953, as in 1954, Baba was staying in Katta Subba Rao's
garden. As they walked in the garden Baba casually asked
Ramamohan Rao, "Well, have you had My darshan?" "Yes."
"What do you think about it now?"
Ramamohan Rao folded his hands to Baba and replied,
"Please Baba, I do not want that darshan hereafter. How can I
be your worker if I am in that state? Bless me so that I may
work for You, Baba. I wish to work for You, live for You and
die for You. That is my only request." Baba looked immensely
pleased.
So perhaps it is not surprising that when, one time in 1953
while Baba was staying in the Kuti, Ramamohan Rao was asked
by Baba to stand watch at the gate to see that no one entered, he
took this duty very seriously indeed.
He began his watch at the gate in the early afternoon and it
was not too long before Subba Rao drove up in his car with
sweets and snacks for Baba and His mandali for tea. But
imagine his surprise when Ramamohan Rao stepped forward
and announced, "You can't come in." It was Subba Rao's
garden, Baba was his guest, he was bringing food for Baba and
the mandali and yet, here he was being denied access to his own
property.
"It is Baba's order," Ramamohan Rao explained and it is
indicative of Subba Rao's great love for Baba, that he did not
insist but accepted the order in a cheerful spirit, as Baba's will.
Some time after this, seven Muslim fakirs came to the gate and
said they wanted to see Baba. Ramamohan Rao told them they
could not come in, that Baba was resting and was not to be
disturbed by anyone. "Better to wait outside for ten or
150
fifteen minutes," Ramamohan Rao advised, "until Baba calls for

you."
"No, no, we must have Baba's darshan immediately," they
insisted, but Ramamohan Rao was equally adamant and would
not let them in and after a while they left.
Shortly after this, Baba called Ramamohan Rao to the Kuti
and asked him if anything had transpired. Ramamohan Rao said
that Subba Rao had come, but he had refused to let him in. Baba
seemed pleased at this obedience, but when He was informed
about the seven fakirs He looked concerned.
"Why did you do that?" Baba asked. "Quick, go find them and
bring them here." So Ramamohan Rao left immediately and
went into the city of Eluru itself, looking everywhere he could
think of, but he couldn't find the fakirs. After several hours of
fruitless searching he returned to the garden and Baba, on
spotting him, immediately gestured, "Well? What happened?"
"I couldn't find them, Baba," Ramamohan Rao confessed,
whereupon Baba surprised him by gesturing, "Don't worry. It
doesn't matter." What the significance of this was Baba never
explained. But Ramamohan Rao's wholehearted and literal
obedience to Baba's orders needs no explanation.
A Loaf of Bread Brings the Wine of Love
Returning once more to the account of Baba's second visit to
Andhra, on the afternoon of February 24, Baba visited the K. P.
High School. On His own He gave a brief message to the
students and staff who had assembled to welcome Him:
I will say what I want to say in a very few words. I love
children and never feel more happy than to be among them.
I would prefer to have time to play with them rather than
have all this garlanding, puja, arti, etc., specially because I
am ustad [expert] in playing marbles. Ages ago, when I
woke up, I began to play marbles with the Universe.
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I would feel specially happy if you pupils one day become

. . . torch-bearers of the Truth that is Baba.
After this message, sweets were brought to Baba to distribute,
but as there was so little time Baba merely touched them so they
could be given as His prasad after He left. Baba told the boys,
"Baba would like to embrace each and every child here, but
there isn't time. My love to you all."
It is hard to give an idea of what this whirlwind day of visits
was like. So much love was given and received, and it all
happened so quickly that it was like a two-day darshan program
compressed into a few hours. The mandali found it physically
exhausting, but exhilarating and heart-warming nonetheless.
Nowhere else, to my knowledge, did Baba ever make house
visits on such a scale; it was impossible for those of us
following Baba to fully appreciate the love-drama being enacted
that day, but there were numerous episodes which touched us.
As Baba was leaving the home of one of His lovers, about
forty boys from a nearby school surrounded Him and lovingly
pleaded with Him to visit their school. Moved by their love,
Baba instantly agreed and all went to the school, where Baba
gave His darshan to all the boys there.
That afternoon, as Baba was driving from place to place, He
inexplicably ordered His car to stop at the gate of a house. The
organizers were mystified since this house was not one
scheduled to be visited. Naturally all the cars and buses
following Baba's car also stopped and this caravan quickly
attracted attention, especially once people saw that Meher Baba
was in one of the cars.
The commotion eventually reached D. Sree Rama Murthy
(now staying at Visakhapatnam) who was sleeping in his house
after the midday meal. Somehow the shouts that Meher Baba
had come penetrated his sleep and, although he was clad only in
his dhoti, he rushed out of the house and pushed his way
through the crowd to Baba's car. His wife, children and mother
all followed. Baba smiled and called Murthy to Him and, in His
unique style gestured, "What was the problem
152
about bread?" Murthy was greatly astonished to hear the word

'bread' which dumbfounded him. Before he could say anything,
Baba with His omniscient smile added, "And why did you give
it?" Instead of replying to the questions, Murthy simply folded
his hands with speechless wonder written on his face, and
bowed down to Baba.
The organizers were much surprised at this unscheduled stop
and Baba's unexpected questions, for they did not know the
hidden story. Murthy had only heard of Meher Baba the day
before and had, at that time, denounced Him and His followers!
He was a staff nurse in charge of the kitchen of a government
hospital. The previous day, a friend of his who was a Baba lover
had approached him and asked for some bread from the hospital
kitchen. I don't know exactly why, but something must have
come up which necessitated the hospital's bread—perhaps, it
was felt by one of the mandali that it would be more suitable for
Gabriel Pascal who was expected to arrive shortly. At any rate,
Murthy refused, saying that the entire quota of bread was for the
patients and not for Baba or His people, who were, he added
with some heat, "Thieves. They simply plunder the country in
the name of 'Babas'."
In spite of this, the Baba lover continued to press him and
eventually Murthy gave in, saying, "Because you are my friend,
I am giving this bread to you and not to your Baba or His
followers." But so marvelous are Baba's ways, that even this
"gift," so grudgingly given, brought Baba to the gate outside
Murthy's home the very next day. After seeing Baba and feeling
the impact of His love during their brief conversation, all of
Murthy's opposition melted away and he became devoted to
Baba from that moment on.
Baba once conveyed that any time a person sincerely takes
even one step toward Him, He takes a hundred steps toward that
person. It seems that it doesn't even matter to the Avatar
whether that first step is taken in anger or defiance. The
Avatar's sense of humor is such that Murthy reluctantly gave
Baba a loaf of bread, but received the wine of the God-Man's
love in return.
153
THE SIXTIETH BIRTHDAY
1954 - PART VIII
Midnight Visit to Penugonda
Meher Baba returned to Katta Subba Rao's garden around 6:00
in the evening of February 24. After a hurried, but delicious
supper, we all left in cars and buses for Tadepalligudem.
Earlier, Baba had instructed us to stay awake that entire night.
Some of the Baba lovers traveling with Baba began repeating in
their conversation the catch phrase, "Stay awake for the
Awakener" and there was a contagious feeling of enthusiasm
and excitement in the air.
As we had to stay awake all night long, it did not particularly
matter to us when we reached Tadepalligudem or Penugonda.
There was no question of early or late for us; there was just the
joy of time spent traveling with our Beloved Lord, Avatar
Meher Baba. And, as it turned out, most of that night was spent
in the bus, following Baba's car. The road was dark and the
journey was long. Perhaps this night journey was a symbol of
Baba's eternal presence with us, quietly keeping us company
during the dark hours of our lives!
A little after 9:00 that evening we reached the village of
Bhimadole. About five hundred people were waiting there to
see the Avatar of the Age and a small darshan program had
been arranged. Baba's regal figure, in His pink coat with a
garland around His neck, was the focus of all eyes as He
stepped up to the dais. Baba stood up and folded His hands to
the masses who saluted Him and shouted out, "Avatar Meher
Baba Ki Jai."
With an air of indescribable compassion and tenderness about
Him, Baba stood for a minute or two, allowing the crowd to get
a good view of Him. Then He extended His hands, gesturing
His blessings to all. Due to the shortage of time, Baba did not
personally give prasad to all but He touched the baskets of
sweets and bananas to be distributed later.
154
From Bhimadole, Baba and His caravan set off once again for
Tadepalligudem, arriving there about 10:30 that night.
Arrangements for Baba's stay had been made at the Travelers'
Bungalow where He had stayed during His 1953 visit. The
mandali were accommodated in a nearby school building. We
quickly unpacked our few belongings and then got ready for the
onward journey to Penugonda—the subject of so much heated
debate from the first day Baba arrived in Andhra.
Baba had promised He would give darshan there and so we
continued, arriving there some time after midnight, although
Penugonda was only around thirty miles from Tadepalligudem.
People were waiting for Baba and when word spread that He
had arrived, many more could be seen quickly hurrying toward
the darshan site.
Baba was led to the dais. As He sat in the chair, His eyes, full
of kindness, swept the crowd, seeming to note each and every
individual there. The people appeared aware of the fact that
Baba's visit was a special favor they were receiving and their
joy in His presence was full and intense.
One member of KDRM got up and, in no uncertain terms,
reprimanded the crowd for inconveniencing Baba by making
Him come there. He pointed out that Francis Brabazon had
come all the way from Australia and the least they, the villagers,
could have done was to travel to Tadepalligudem to have Baba's
darshan there. But instead of being willing to go such a short
distance, they had made Baba miss His night's sleep to come to
them. This sharp speech was not only impromptu, but also in
Telugu, so it wasn't until later that we learned what had
transpired.
One of the local landlords then got up and read out a welcome
address to which Baba replied:
Let my coming here, at this late hour, even for a short
period, be worthwhile by your being inspired to try to love
Me and find Me within yourselves. My blessings to you all.
Baba had originally agreed to visit Penugonda for only five
minutes, but He spent nearly an hour there. So, when the
organizers requested Him to have tea and snacks, He gestured
155
that He and His party had to return to Tadepalligudem im-

mediately.
And once again we got back into the bus and drove through
the night. It was around 4:00 A.M. and still dark when we
returned to Tadepalligudem, but Bapi Raju and his wife had hot
water waiting for Baba who had a quick bath and then drove
straight to Dr. Dhanapathi Rao's home. It was now nearing 5:00
in the morning, the time of the Avatar's birth.
Washing the Avatar's Feet
There were many people waiting for Baba outside Dr.
Dhanapathi Rao's and, in their enthusiasm to receive Baba, they
swept forward to garland Him before He entered the house.
Although Baba had not slept at all the previous night and had
spent most of it driving back and forth, He lovingly allowed
Himself to be garlanded and even permitted those who so
wished not only to bow down to Him but also to touch His feet
as well. This unexpected permission was indeed Baba's birthday
gift to those who were fortunate enough to be there.
Baba then quickly walked into Dhanapathi's house with the
mandali, KDRM and a few of the local Baba lovers. As the
house was not big enough to accommodate everyone assembled
there, Baba instructed that the doors be closed after His party
entered.
Even so, the room where Baba took His seat was packed to
capacity, while those outside clustered around the open
windows so they too could have a glimpse of Baba, the most
beautiful One. The auspicious moment of Baba's birth drew
near and Baba stood up and asked Eruch to read the Prayer of
Repentance which He had dictated in November 1952:
Om Parabrahma Paramatma! Ya Yazdan!
La ilaha illallah! O God, Father in Heaven!
We repent, O God Most Merciful, for all our sins; for
every thought that was false or unjust or unclean; for every
word spoken that ought not to have been spoken; for
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every deed done that ought not to have been done.

We repent for every deed and word and thought inspired
by selfishness, and for every deed and word and thought
inspired by hatred.
We repent most specially for every lustful thought and
every lustful action; for every lie; for all hypocrisy; for
every promise given but not fulfilled; and for all slander and
backbiting.
Most specially also, we repent for every action that has
brought ruin to others; for every word and deed that has
given others pain; and for every wish that pain should befall
others.
In Your Unbounded Mercy, we ask You to forgive us, O
God! for all these sins committed by us, and to forgive us
for our constant failures to think and speak and act
according to Your Will.
Amen!
Ramjoo and Dhake then read the Urdu and Marathi
translations. Even those outside the house stood in rapt silence
as the prayers were read out. When that was over, Baba sat
down and, with a look expressing both majesty and divine
authority, conveyed:
I have asked God, whoever He may be, to forgive you for
all your weaknesses. From today, try to be honest in your
thoughts, words and deeds. Henceforth, you are responsible
for your own actions.
This birthday gift of forgiveness which Baba bestowed on all
the participants was an act of His grace and, at the same time, it
extended an invitation to His lovers to begin to please God,
from that moment on, through their every thought, word and
deed.
It also serves as a call to His lovers today. For every day in
our life with Meher Baba, we can partake of this birthday gift
by offering the same prayer. As we do so, it is helpful to have a
picture of Meher Baba, the Avatar, before us. Any of His
pictures acts as a gateway to the Infinitude of His Being. And
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when we pray with all sincerity, our prayer becomes a love-line

through which flows the Avatar's unconditional love and
compassion.
Meher Baba as the Avatar is infinitely more eager to help,
guide and forgive us, than we are to confess our weaknesses to
Him and to ask for His help. So, as we repeat the prayer after
glorifying His divine names, His clemency and companionship
descend upon us. And this simple act of self offering becomes a
praise-filled way of rededicating our lives anew to Him. A life
lived just for Him is a joyous celebration which culminates,
eventually, in dying in Him—the One beyond births and deaths.
Now, Dr. Dhanapathi and members of his family came
forward and were granted the unique privilege of washing
Baba's feet with panchamruta (literally: five nectars; in this
case represented by honey, ghee, milk, curds and coconut
water). When this was complete, Baba remarked that it was the
first time since February 1937 that He had allowed His feet to
be so washed. Then, with His characteristic humor, Baba added
that His feet should now be washed clean with plain water lest
ants be attracted to the sweetness of the panchamruta and bite
Him. Eruch and Gustadji washed Baba's feet again, with water
this time.
Veena and Meera
Standing in the room near Baba were the Pillay sisters. Meera
was disabled and the other, Veena, seemed mentally unbalanced
and she stared at Baba with an unblinking look of amazement
on her face. Baba allowed them both to garland Him and
remarked that Veena was not mad, but that her mind had been
overpowered by her love for Him. Baba called her close,
pressed her eyes and gestured, "Don't worry." In spite of her
dazed look, Baba's love must have been felt by her for she
suddenly started smiling.
In a letter to Bili Eaton, Mani writes about the effect Veena's
first meeting with Baba in 1953 had on her:
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Veena is the daughter of a retired Civil Engineer. She and her

sister. . . both love Baba, as does the father. . . . She met Baba in
Andhra during His mass darshan tour. Soon after, when we
were in Dehra Dun, we heard that one of the sisters (i.e. Veena)
was behaving strangely and had changed completely from her
normal active social self. She scarcely spoke or ate, kept to
herself and would sit for hours with a rapt expression on her
face. The only time she "came to life" was when they recited the
arti before Baba's picture. Then she would participate and stand
before Baba's picture with joined hands.
Some days after we heard this, Baba had the father bring her
to Dehra Dun. She has a dark complexion, is petite, gentle and
graceful, has a sweet, piquant face. She would look at Baba
with such a happy lighted smile, speak little and only when
pressed for an answer, and would be reluctant to eat anything
until Baba fed her a little and then told her to eat some more. At
times, her face would suddenly light up; sometimes she would
point vaguely at "nothing" or make a gesture before her face as
if she were removing a cobweb.
Next day, Baba sent her home with the father with special
instructions about her. We heard nothing further until about a
month ago. Now she has changed still more. She goes from
house to house—anybody's house she feels like, making no
distinction whatever about whose house it is. Some understand,
others don't. Friends fearing someone may take advantage of the
girl's state, tell the father to have her put away in a mental
home. He wrote to Eruch that he just could not do that, for he
knew Veena's state of mind was not from material causes and
had been convinced beyond doubt since his experience one
night.
He sleeps in the same room as his daughter. . . . He once woke
from deep sleep to find the room unnaturally bright. Looking
toward Veena's bed, he found it empty. Then he saw, in a corner
of the room, Baba standing before the kneeling figure of Veena.
When he recovered from his dazed stupor, the father, too, went
forward to have Baba's
159
darshan and stood waiting his turn. Veena must have felt
someone was behind her, for she raised her head from His feet
and turned to look around. At that the vision disappeared.
Returning to our narrative of Baba's birthday, a little after
5:30 that morning, after His feet had been washed with the
panchamruta and the plain water, Baba went outside and took
His seat on the raised platform under an awning. There were
around five hundred people gathered there. Some of them had
been allowed to touch Baba's feet when He first returned from
Penugonda, and many of the others had just watched Baba's feet
being washed by Dhanapathi's family. Even though the usual
instruction forbidding anyone to touch Baba's feet was given,
the people assumed the order was no longer in force and they
surged forward so they too could have the blessed fortune of
touching the Avatar's feet. It took the mandali a little time to
straighten out the confusion and to restore order. Baba
addressed the crowd:
If you love Me, why can't you listen to Me? When I say
"Do not touch My feet," why don't you obey? You do not
understand the importance of this moment for which even
great sages long for ages. Take advantage of this occasion
by observing what I say, "Don't touch My feet."
After listening to Baba, all present returned to their seats
under the pandal. Then prayers from different religions and in
different languages were offered and Baba artis were sung.
Following this, Baba allowed all to come forward to have His
darshan. As this was now according to Baba's wish, He seemed
to pour His radiance on all who filed past Him. The morning
was breaking, but the rising sun was only a pale reflection of the
Sun of Love, the Avatar, warming the hearts of His lovers and
filling them with His light.
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"I Am Never Born. . . . "

Baba returned to the Travelers' Bungalow and the mandali to
the school building. After our previous night's vigil, most of us
decided that first we wanted to bathe. There was no question of
having any rest, for at 7:30 there was to be a procession through
the streets of the town, escorting Baba to the darshan pandal.
And sure enough, soon we saw a crowd arriving, some singing,
some dancing.
Baba was requested to sit in a decorated car and the rest of us
walked behind. Some Baba lovers continued to dance, some
sang Telugu songs in praise of Baba, while a group of devotees
cried out heartily, and often, "Avatar Meher Baba Ki Jai!"
Women carrying their children in their arms struggled through
the crowd to get close to Baba so He would bless their children
with His touch.
It took approximately an hour to return to Dhanapathi's house.
The darshan program began with Ramjoo reading out an
editorial Filis Frederick had written for "The Awakener," a part
of which is given below:
This February, on the twenty-fifth, according to the Western
calendar, Meher Baba will be sixty years old.
But the real BABA can never grow old; the real BABA is
eternal. Who is this "real BABA," whom he says we have never
seen?
This "real BABA" is our Real Self. . . .
"There have been Buddhas before me and there will be
Buddhas after," said the Gautama, predicting the greatest one
would bear a name meaning Mercy. Meher Baba means Father
of Mercy. "Whenever there is a decline of virtue and a
resurgence of evil and injustice in the world, I, the Avatar, take
human form," said Krishna.
Our namaskar to Him Who Has Come Again. . . The
Awakener Divine! 29
In response to the various recitations, Baba conveyed:
The more you try to understand God, the less you under-
stand
29
The Awakener, Vol. I, No. 3, p. 3.
161
Him. How can He, who is beyond all explanation, be

explained? His being infinitely simple had rendered Him
infinitely difficult. The secret is that you have to become
what you already are.
You can know Me as the One in you only when the veil of
separateness is lifted. This can be done only if you love Me
honestly and wholeheartedly. . . .
There can be no compromise in love. It has either to be
full or not at all. I say with divine authority today that I am
the Ancient One and the slave of those who really love Me.
Lose yourself in Baba and you will find that you eternally
are Baba.
Baba then had His special birthday message, which He had
dictated before leaving Mahabaleshwar, read out and it was
later translated into Telugu for the two thousand people
assembled there. The message is:
I am never born, I never die. Yet every moment I take
birth and undergo death. The countless illusory births and
deaths are necessary landmarks in the progression of man's
consciousness to Truth—a prelude to the Real Death and the
Real Birth. The Real Death is when one dies to self; and the
Real Birth is when, dying to self, one is born in God to live
forever His eternal Life consciously.
Although I am present everywhere eternally in my
formless Infinite State, from time to time I take Form. This
taking of Form and the leaving of it is termed My physical
birth and death. In this sense, I was born sixty years ago and
will die when My Universal Work is finished.
Your celebrating My shastipurti birthday today with all
your love, enthusiasm and zeal has deeply touched Me and
makes Me give you My blessings for the ultimate
understanding that we are all One; that God alone is Real
and that all else is false.
As the Telugu translation of this message was being read out,
for a while Baba sat on the ground. When He returned to
162
the dais, He conveyed that He had sat on the ground to make all
feel that He, honestly, was one of them. These words thrilled
the hearts of the spellbound audience. But even more than His
words, Baba's presence, a subtle sense of bliss and love, seemed
to sweep over the crowd. What a supreme birthday present—for
each it was different yet the same, a portion of His pure love.
Still, some may wonder how the Birthless One can take birth
and how the Deathless One can drop His body. How can
Infinity descend into a finite human form and yet
simultaneously experience the Infinity of God? Jean Adriel, in
her book on Meher Baba's life, Avatar, writes:
Perhaps it is because our own human nature is still so
unredeemed that some of us deny a God who dares to be
human. Yet, logically, a Perfect One, whose work is the
redemption of mankind, must be perfect in his humanity. He
should function with all the powers of the human being
raised to the nth degree.
Whatever the human mind may conceive as comprising
the fulfilled personality, he should have: that inner beauty
which expresses itself as grace, charm and compassion; that
inner poise which gives detachment and a sense of humor;
that inner joy which expresses itself in work and in play. He
should be human as well as God-like; and he should at all
times express the ecstasy and peace of God. Otherwise the
"Word made flesh" is a contradiction in terms. God, to be
God, the incarnate Avatar, should be Master of all masters
and masteries.
Such a Master, Baba is. 30
At about 10:30, all stood up and one of the mandali began to
recite Baba's arti. To the amazement of all, Baba straightaway
took the arti tray with the burning camphor on it and waved the
tray Himself to the assembled masses while arti continued, as if
Baba were performing arti to His own Self in all.
At Meherastana, on February 10, which happened to be
Baba's sixtieth birthday according to the Zoroastrian calendar,
30
Avatar, pp. 94-95.
163
Baba declared His Avatarhood. In Andhra, on February 25,

Baba's birthday according to the Western calendar, Baba
authoritatively declared that He is the Ancient One. And more
than that, that He is the slave of His lovers. On His sixtieth
birthday, Baba brought God to the world and declared, "I have
come."
The Avatar's love is always present on earth and He eternally
exists in His formless state. But His physical incarnation, as the
Avatar, has a special role to play in awakening humanity. The
significance, for humanity, of Baba's sixtieth birthday was His
open revelation that the Avatar once more was on earth and
waiting to receive all who come to Him. No one else in the
world is able to give such a gift of pure love which, once
received, can never be taken away.
Some of this is expressed in a poem written by one of my dear
friends and co-worker:
M arvelous is the mystery of the Avatar's incarnation.
E verywhere on earth, in everything, in all creation
H e is born. And at every moment we have the chance to
E xperience consciously His eternal life simply through
R enouncing ourselves—this "death" is His birth
celebration!
B ecause God exists, we exist. He is our only True life
A nd yet, enslaved to form we "live," knowing only strife,
B ondage and despair, until His love illuminates our morn
A nd our heart's radiance proclaims once more — "He is
born!"
"For Me or for Food ?"
It was after 11:00 when Baba left the pandal from the morning's
program, but by 12:30 He was on the move again; this time
visiting a rice mill in town where arrangements had been made
for Baba to serve food to poor families.
164
The plans had been worked out in advance and the poor had
already assembled by the time Baba arrived. Huge pots of
cooked food were ready for Baba who began the distribution by
personally serving some of the men, women and children who
had gathered. Then others continued serving the large crowd
which had come.
Meanwhile, Chhagan, who used to cook for Baba and also
helped Eruch in attending to Baba's personal needs, noticed a
small group of people standing under a tree outside the
Travelers' Bungalow. On inquiring, he discovered that they
were Baba lovers from Andhra who had been traveling with
Baba. One of them, Manik, explained that Baba had asked them
to join His group and to tour Andhra with Him.
However, due to the pressure of attending to so many details,
the organizers had somehow not been informed that these five
people were part of Baba's party. So they had been told to find
their own accommodations and see to their own food. They had
not been permitted to have their breakfast with Baba's mandali,
nor were they allowed to stay in the school building. Manik,
who had a bit of a temper in those days, was eager to see Baba
to complain to Him about this treatment.
It should be added here that such confusion or misunder-
standings were not uncommon during Baba's tours, but these
incidents brought to the surface negative feelings which had to
be faced (in this case Manik's resentment of KDRM's way of
handling things). And the final result was always that those
involved came closer to Baba in their love for Him. Baba plays
His game not only through clarity and understanding, but also
through confusion and misunderstandings.
Chhagan was sympathetic and, on his own, went inside and
brought out sweets and fruit that had been offered to Baba. The
group was happy to receive such bounty from Baba's residence
and their spirits were quickly restored.
A little after this, Baba returned and was informed by
Chhagan of what had transpired. Baba came outside and called
the group to Him. He asked them why they were there even
though they knew it was time for Baba to rest and that He didn't
want to be disturbed. They were all contrite, but Manik,
165
who had not gotten over his irritation at KDRM, began to

complain about how they had been treated. Baba did not look
pleased. His annoyance was not directed at KDRM, however,
but at Manik. In a fiery mood He demanded, "What did you
come here for? Did you come for Me, or for food?"
As soon as Baba asked this, Manik realized his folly in
disturbing Baba over such a trivial matter and repented his
petty-mindedness. But Baba continued, "Do you remember
when I was at Vijayawada? To attend the darshan program you
had forgotten to inform Me about, I went without food for you,
and now you cannot go without food for Me. And on My
birthday!"
By this time, Manik and the others were in tears and they
begged Baba's forgiveness. They apologized for displeasing
Baba and in their hearts they were indeed sorry that they had
allowed any consideration of their own comfort to
inconvenience Him. This sincere repentance on their part
changed Baba's mood and, suddenly concerned and
compassionate, He assured them, "I will see that from now on
you get food wherever you go with Me. Today too." Baba then
called for food to be brought from inside.
This loving kindness made them all feel their unworthiness
even more. They said, "Baba, Chhagan already gave us some
food. We don't need anything more." But Baba insisted and had
a big basket of sweetmeats brought out which He then began to
personally distribute to all of them.
Baba did this by tossing the sweets, throwing them in one
direction while looking in another. The heavy atmosphere lifted
and light-hearted merriment prevailed. Baba's ways are such
that His rebukes make one want to love Him more, while his
love makes one realize how unworthy of it one is. And yet, after
letting His lovers experience this, Baba's compassion wipes
away any lingering feelings of bitterness or self-recriminations.
He makes one feel new and refreshed in His ever redeeming
love.
166
"Share My Love Freely"

After a brief rest following lunch, the mandali and the main
Andhra Baba workers gathered in the Travelers' Bungalow. In
spite of the night journey and the non-stop morning programs,
Baba came out to sit with them. He looked radiant and
charming, but He also seemed to be in a serious mood.
Baba instructed Y. Ranga Rao to include K. Subba Rao in the
list of those called for the important workers' meeting to be held
on the second of March. Referring to all of the darshan
programs that had been held so far in Andhra, Baba conveyed,
"I am fed up with all this bowing down; the gods bow down to
Me so what need is there for humans to do so!" Baba explained
that He wanted workers who did not just make a show of
worship, but were willing to live and die for Him.
The conversation then became more general and slowly
Baba's serious mood changed and He kindled a light-hearted yet
profound feeling in the assembly by reminiscing about His
teenage days.
The informal conversation continued and someone said,
"Baba, when we tell people about You, they ask us what has
happened to us, in our lives, since coming into the orbit of Your
love. Some of us feel hesitant to relate our personal experiences
of Your love, compassion and divinity, for fear that others will
think we are trying to show off. But if we don't mention our
personal experiences, then we are not doing full justice to Your
unconditional love. So what should we do in such situations?"
Baba seemed pleased at this question and assured them all that
when it came to sharing His love, through relating personal
experiences, one need not worry about being egotistical. Of
course, Baba cautioned, one should not exaggerate one's
experiences for effect; one had to be honest in one's recounting
and careful that the emphasis always was on Baba and not on
the experience itself. Baba concluded, as long as one is sincere
and earnest, He, the Avatar, would see to it that His lovers' egos
do not become inflated. Hence they should not worry, but
should freely share His love.
167
Baba then went on to explain the ego's tricks in some detail,

observing:
There is a world of difference between modesty and
humility. Modesty is weakness, but humility is strength. The
moment you say, "It is not my ego," or "in all humility I
say," that very expression is egotistical. No sooner is
humility given expression in words, than it is no longer
humility. The life of humility is to be lived spontaneously
and it should not give rise to any thoughts either about
humility or modesty. . . .
To try to be humble is humbug. You must be so natural
that your life becomes humility personified, which is then
all strength and free from any weaknesses. . . .
Be natural. Whatever you are, express it unmindful of the
reactions of others. If you are dishonest, don't try to hide
yourself behind the curtain of honesty. That, however, does
not mean that you should be dishonest. What I want to say
is that you should be most natural rather than be the least bit
hypocritical.
The previous year, while staying at the Travelers' Bungalow,
Baba had given a discourse which was later included in God
Speaks. Baba's comments on modesty and humility given at this
time later formed the theme for Baba's message, "Meher Baba's
Call," which was given out seven months later during the mass
darshan program at Ahmednagar. What there was about the
Travelers' Bungalow I don't know, but it seemed to prompt
Baba to give vital discourses.
"Help Us Enthrone You in Our Hearts"
After the explanation of modesty, it was time for the afternoon
darshan program. Baba arrived at the pandal about 3:30.
Embracing one of His lovers who wasn't feeling well, Baba had
the man sit on the dais, near Him. Baba took His seat and
looked over the crowd with His indescribable look of
compassion. A soft radiance seemed to emanate from Baba
which
168
glued every eye to Him, and made all else fade into the
background.
A special intimacy was created by the fact that for those
gazing at Baba, nothing else had any importance, while Baba's
glance seemed to rest on each individual in the crowd,
emphasizing this intimate relationship. On such occasions, Baba
seemed to dole out His love in an even greater degree than
usual.
In this intense atmosphere of divine love made manifest, a
welcome address on behalf of the Tadepalligudem Center was
read out glorifying Baba. Excerpts of it are given below:
Lord of the Universe!
We beg to pay our most humble homage on the occasion
of Your Sixtieth Birthday Anniversary which You have
graciously allowed us to celebrate at this place.
Though Unborn and Imperishable, You are pleased to
assume a human form when the evolutionary [and invol-
utionary] process requires periodic quickening of conscious-
ness through the Physical Presence on earth of the Avatar.
As Pure Love, which is the keynote and the very heart of
Your teaching, now finds no place in the heart of humanity,
You, as "Avatara-Purusha," are experiencing spiritual agony
for the world's travail in its separation from Divine Love.
Blessed will be humanity if it can facilitate rapid results by
practicing complete surrender to Your Divine Will and
unflinching readiness to carry out Your orders. . . .
We have now enthroned You in this temporarily impro-
vised pavilion of ours; but we ever crave for Your Love and
Blessings to enthrone You eternally in our hearts, to be in
the world, yet not of it and to enable us to see You
everywhere as the Immanent Lord of the Universe.
After this, a few other addresses were also read out. This
afternoon program was considerably longer than the morning
one. Out of the many things that were happening on the stage,
the songs, messages, darshan, I wish to include one little
incident
169
that highlights Baba's instantaneous response to the silent cry of

a yearning heart.
There was a good musician in the crowd, a singer who had
met Baba at Machilipatnam and been fortunate enough to sing
for Him there. He had wanted to sing for Baba on His birthday
too, but the program had already been chalked out and as it was
a full one, no time could be made for him. Naturally, he was
very disappointed. He walked a bit away from the crowd and as
he was standing there, thinking about Baba, his love for Baba
welled up in his heart and without even being aware of it, he
started weeping.
Perhaps in answer to this silent upsurge of love, under some
pretext, Baba got up from the platform and walked to where the
musician was standing. The man looked up and was startled to
see Baba so close to him. Baba gestured that he could bow
down to Him if he so wished.
The singer did so and then Baba conveyed, "Now, go back to
your home and attend to your family duties. Do not worry.
Come to see me when I come near your village." Completely
satisfied, the person went back to his home and when Baba
visited a nearby town, not only did he get the chance to again
have Baba's darshan, but he was also allowed to sing to Him as
well. In later years, he would offer his services many times at
public events, glorifying Baba as the Avatar of the Age through
his songs and music.
"Behold Him Come, the Son of God!"
Just as Baba's birthday was being celebrated at Tadepalligudem,
halfway around the world, in New York City, Baba's birthday
was being celebrated in the editorial offices of the Awakener
magazine. Baba's message on Real Death and Real Birth was
read out, as was Darwin Shaw's article, "A Birthday Remem-
brance," excerpts of which are quoted below:
Although Baba is just completing his 60th year, there is so
much about him that is timeless, that it is difficult for us
170
to think of him in terms of age. The Great Being behind that

face and form we know and love so dearly is, as we are sure,
not measurable by the passage of time, but is as immortal as
the Divine Love with which we identify him.
In celebrating Baba's Birthday, therefore, we are really
celebrating the return to earth of Love Divine in the form of
a man we can see, love and with whom we can
communicate. A Being who has, ages since, completed the
long evolutionary [and involutionary] process of the Soul
through numerous cycles of lives, from the original state of
unconscious Divinity, to the final state of fully-realized
God-hood. This is Baba, our Spiritual Master, Eternal
Friend and Divine Beloved.
We have found in him the living Beauty of all our highest
hopes, and we have experienced, through His Grace, a
precious taste of the Divine Nectar which is, indeed, the true
panacea for all the suffering, disillusionment and mayavic
ignorance which, in one way or another, besets all
humanity. And this Divine Nectar is the touch of the
Master's boundless Compassion which has, somehow, in
mysterious ways known only to him, found us in our far
corners of the earth and awakened some measure of our
slumbering consciousness from the darkened dreams of life,
as seen through the distorted vision of our own selfhood.
Through Baba we have been touched by a Love too great
for us to comprehend, much less ever to have deserved. We
have come to him in various ways; sometimes groping,
often wondering, but always with faith and longing; and he
has taken us into his Infinite Heart where we have found the
secret Highway to God.
We have discovered that Baba works through the very
fabric of our prosaic, everyday lives to reveal an ever
greater measure of the Spiritual Splendour of his True
Being, and, through inwardly drawing closer to the
Unveiled Reality we discern in him, we find that the Way
has become clearer, easier and more sure.
As the Messianic Avatar of the Ages, Baba again comes
171
forth to succor the great need of the immortal spirit of man.

As such, he leads the way out of the labyrinthine maze of
selfhood's false impressions, and declares with Divine
authority the true nature of man and the Real Goal of Life.
Strange as it may seem to those who do not know, we
have found that through loving Baba we are actually loving
God; and that his Love leads us into the inner mystery of the
Ocean of Divine Love that God really is. This is the Key to
one of the most beautiful and overwhelming of all mystical
experiences; for when we love, and inwardly keep company
with the God-realized Master, we in turn become the
recipients of his immeasurably greater Love; and this
outpouring is more than the hard-shelled ego can bear, so it
begins to die. But that dying is actually the beginning of
Life, for it is the beginning of the annihilation of the false by
being in the conscious Presence of the Real. . . .
The following lines [of Kabir] have been quoted by Baba
. . . : "Constantly repeating Thy Name, I became one with
Thee, nothing was left of me (self). How can I sing Thy
praise, O Guru Mine? Wherever I cast my eyes, I perceive
Thee and nothing else."
With this as the pattern of our devotion, may our "Birth-
day Remembrance" to Baba be a greater effort to understand
and more deeply appreciate the incomparable importance of
his life as it touches ours; and let us, in all sincerity, have
the courage, the humility and the faith to let go of every
shade of self-centered ignorance, and truly, wholeheartedly
set forth on the glorious Path of Love and Truth to the
Highest of the High.
Returning to the narration of events at Tadepalligudem, on the
evening of the 25th, there was yet another program, this time
mostly of dance. At 7:30 Baba came to the pandal and, shortly
after, a dance was performed for Him by Dharma Rao's two
daughters. One enacted the role of Krishna, the other of Radha.
172
Baba enjoyed seeing His past lila enacted and He called the
girls to Him and expressed His loving appreciation of their
dance. Then, looking at those around Him, He added, "On the
second of March, remind Me to explain about My Dance. I have
not yet explained My first original Dance." However, as it
turned out, during the momentous meeting, no one remembered
to ask Baba about His first original Dance and so it still has not
been explained.
After the last dance performance there was a fireworks
display, the highlight of which was when the fiery explosions
spelled out in bright colors, "Avatar Meher Baba." This was a
glorious termination to the birthday celebration of the One who
is birthless and deathless.
Josephine Ross met Meher Baba during His first visit to the
States in 1931, at Harmon-on-Hudson. She was captivated by
His divine love. In the subsequent years, her love for Baba
inspired her to write many beautiful poems, some of which were
published in "Meher Baba Journal" and I remember reading
them and being touched. In her poem, "To Baba . . . The
Awakener," she writes:
He Who glows within the rose,
He Who every mystery knows,
He Who comes like gentle rain
Soothing all our earthly pain;
The true Awakener of the heart

Who sees the Whole within the part;
Who raises man above the earth,
Renewing him in mystic Birth.
A flame, a fire, a perfect flower,

A penetrating Cosmic Power;
A cleaving sword to strike away
The crudities of mortal clay.
He Who glows within the rose,

He Who every mystery knows,
On the path where Saints have trod,
Behold Him come, the Son of God! 31
31
"Meher Baba Journal", Vol. III, No. 9, p. 519.
173
SHAMA-PARWANA AND SOME
MEMORABLE INCIDENTS
1954 - PART IX
Divine Shama: The Illusion-Consuming Flame
On the morning of February 26, the day after Meher Baba's
birthday, the mandali gathered in His presence. Baba told
Ramjoo that He wished to say something on naaz and niyaz. He
asked whether Kishan Singh, who had been given the duty of
keeping an account of Baba's second Andhra visit, was there.
As it turned out, Kishan was still in the school building where
the mandali were lodged. Hearing this, Baba looked a little
annoyed and gestured, "During this tour, whenever I have the
urge to say something, something goes wrong: there is some
sort of disturbance; the microphone malfunctions or the ones
whom I expect to be present are not there."
One of the mandali quietly slipped out and hurried over to the
school building to tell Kishan that Baba wanted him and very
soon Kishan arrived. Before beginning the discourse Baba
glanced around the room. The look in Baba's eyes made all fall
silent in anticipation of what He was about to say. The next
moment Baba's graceful fingers sped over His board and the
message on naaz and niyaz began.
My hand automatically reached for my pen to take notes. I
have taken the liberty of editing my notes taken at that time in
the light of explanations Baba gave us later, such as His
illuminating statement that "The Avatar becomes and the
Sadguru acts." So the following is not a verbatim rendering, but
is the edited version of the notes I took at the time. Baba
conveyed:
Today, I want to tell you something about the two Urdu
words, naaz and niyaz. In the past, enlightened Sufi poets used
these terms as well as shama and parwana. These terms have
now become quite common in poetry, but the real esoteric
meaning behind them has been lost.
174
SHAMA-PARWANA AND SOME MEMORABLE
INCIDENTS
Naaz, (also known as nakhara) refers, on the human level,
to the caprices or whims of the beloved expressed in the
relationship with the lover. In this game of love, the whims
of the beloved often change before the lover can fulfill
them. Thus the beloved ever remains unsatisfied, and his or
her naaz continually displays its various facets.
Sufis regard a Qutub (Sadguru or Perfect Master) as the
perfect personification of naaz—as one filled with divine
naaz. This is because the Perfect Master is infinitely
indifferent. One may wonder how God, Who is the source
of everything, and a Perfect Master, who is God-personified,
can be indifferent, cold and uncaring; His infinite
independence makes this impossibility possible.
Even on the ordinary human level, the beloved can be
indifferent to the lover. The divine Beloved, Perfect Master,
who is the very Ocean of Love, also can appear indifferent
and callous toward His lovers. Yet the life of each lover is
totally dependent upon the Master's every naaz (whim). But
there is a difference between the naaz of the divine Beloved
and the naaz of an ordinary beloved. The whims of the latter
gratify the beloved's ego. They are used to demonstrate the
control the beloved has over the lover. The naaz of the
divine Beloved, however, is the medium through which the
lover is helped to become free of the limitations of the ego.
This point was explained more fully when Baba began to
discourse on shama and parwana, but before continuing with
this, I would like to interject here a brief profound exposition
Baba dictated later that year: "God is absolutely independent,
and the universe is entirely dependent upon Him. . . . Between
God and the universe, infinite mercy and unbounded love act as
a prominent link which is eternally made use of by men who
become God or by God who becomes Man."
God's indifference, therefore, is only apparent. And God's
independence is such that He is able to even use that
indifference as a medium for the infinite mercy and unbounded
love which is the link between His independent state and the
universe.
175
But this is perhaps made even more explicit in the remainder

of Baba's discourse which is given below.
Baba continued:
Now what is niyaz? Niyaz literally means supplication or
prayer, but in its true sense, it refers to the lover's dancing to
every tune of the Perfect Master's (divine Beloved's) naaz.
This requires great preparedness on the part of the lover—to
live wholly and solely for the Beloved and not for one's self.
It is not easy to respond cheerfully to the Beloved's naaz.
Those lovers who are able to lead such a life are rare.
Now, there is another aspect to this game of love which is
even more profound. Shama literally means the flame of a
candle. It is used to symbolize the All-consuming life of
God as lived by the Avatar. The Avatar's lover is likened to
a moth, parwana.
As the Avatar, God, the Infinite Reality, assumes a human
body—puts on the cloak of illusion. As soon as the Avatar
dons this cloak, the sufferings of the world devolve upon
Him. So the Avatar, who is infinite bliss, infinitely suffers.
Why does the Avatar suffer in and through the cloak of
illusion? Or why does the divine Shama keep burning? It is
in order that others, who are trapped in their cloaks of
illusion, might become as free as God, the Infinite.
In fact, the Avatar, as the Eternal Divine Beloved,
experiences the sufferings of the world as His own.
People suffer for innumerable reasons—physical and
mental. But this suffering, as it revolves around desires
rooted in illusion, binds those who suffer even more tightly
to illusion. Therefore, this kind of suffering is termed
"illusory suffering" because such suffering is grounded in
illusion.
The Avatar, however, wants to free people from their
suffering, so He wants to make them suffer for God. This
suffering is known as "real suffering" because it loosens the
bindings of people's sanskaras (mental impressions)
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INCIDENTS
and leads them to Reality.
How does the Avatar bring this about? He burns His own
cloak of illusion (which is His constant crucifixion) so that
others' illusory cloaks will also be burned. And the
brilliance of the Avatar's Shama attracts the moths
(parwanas). The Avatar burns His cloak of illusion to attract
His lovers to Him. He suffers infinitely and this suffering
draws His lovers to Him. Once His lovers are drawn to Him,
His naaz may make them suffer, but this suffering is "real
suffering" as it frees them from all suffering and eventually
unites them with God.
The life of the Avatar is an Illusion-consuming Flame.
The Avatar's lovers, like moths, gather, hovering about Him,
the Flame. A few are even so possessed by love that they fly
into the Flame and burn themselves, their false selves, and
so experience the "I am God" state. To be so consumed by
love, however, depends upon the grace of the Avatar.
As Baba finished, He put the alphabet board on His lap,
holding it gracefully between His fingers while a profound
silence settled over the room. Baba, the Divine Shama, the
illusion-consuming Flame, looked so resplendent that all eyes
were centered on the radiance of His face, and all hearts were
moved by His compassion and His sacrifice in suffering for the
whole world.
Barbadi and Abadi: Ruin and Prosperity
The hushed atmosphere in the room, after Baba concluded the
absorbing discourse on shama and parwana, did not last long.
One of the local organizers approached Baba and started
discussing the morning program of house visits with Him. D.
Satyanarayana was scheduled to have Baba come to his home
first. But, as in Eluru, Baba on His own changed the schedule
and went to visit someone who was not on the list at all—B.
Bhaskara Raju.
177
The previous day K. Sastri had asked Bhaskara, "Is Baba

going to visit your home tomorrow?"
"I don't know," he replied.
"Don't you know the program of house visits?" Sastri asked
incredulously and then added, "Tomorrow Baba will visit your
house."
A little later, when Bhaskara saw Dhanapathi, he mentioned
this and Dhanapathi told him that his name was not on the list
of those to be visited by Baba. "Come to my house,"
Dhanapathi said, as he thought that in this way, Bhaskara would
be able to have at least some time with Baba in the morning
since Baba was definitely going to visit his house.
Bhaskara didn't know what to do. One member of KDRM
assured him that Baba wasn't going to visit his house while
another had told him just the opposite. Deciding finally to
follow Dhanapathi's suggestion, he and his wife left their home
on the morning of the 26th and went to Dhanapathi's house.
In the meantime, Baba had left the Travelers' Bungalow and
had gone straight to their house. No one was there, of course,
and Baba sat on a chair on the verandah for a few moments and
then left, expressing His displeasure that Bhaskara was not there
to greet Him! Hearing this, Dhanapathi suddenly recalled the
conversation he had had the previous day and, realizing that
Bhaskara must have gone to his house, rushed home in a car to
bring him to Baba.
Bhaskara and his wife got into Dhanapathi's car, but by the
time they returned to their home, Baba had left. In fact, He had
already visited D. Satyanarayana as well and by the time they
caught up with Baba, His car was stopped near the home of B.
Bapi Raju. Baba gave Bhaskara a piercing look as he
approached the car, and that one glance was enough to plunge
him into a vortex of emotions.
Baba gestured, "Where were you when the God-Man Himself
came to visit your house?" "Baba," he replied with down-cast
eyes, "I was misled. I was waiting at doctor's house for Your
darshan." He was obviously upset as he uttered these words.
Bhaskara is a thin, even frail, person and, although he
178
INCIDENTS
tried to keep his emotions hidden inside, his face was flushed
with feeling and a moment later he wept openly like a child.
Seeing his state, Baba asked him about his health, and then
affectionately, and without warning, reached out and tickled
him. In spite of himself, Bhaskara began to laugh and Baba
added, "Now, go home quickly and wait for Me. I will visit
your house again after visiting all the other homes."
He and his wife went home immediately while Baba
proceeded to Bapi Raju's house. Baba had visited here during
His first Andhra tour, the previous year. At that time Bapi was
working in a firm called M. B. and Sons. But the day Baba left
Andhra, coincidentally Bapi was discharged from his job. He
took this as Baba's blessing and was delighted that now he
could work full time, not for M. B. and Sons but only for M. B.:
Meher Baba.
Baba had instructed that a small sum of money be given to
Bapi to be used in the work of spreading Baba's message of love
and truth. Bapi had used this amount for train and bus fares to
enable him to go from town to town, but he hadn't spent even a
pie (penny) of it for food or personal comforts. He still had five
rupees left from the small sum given to him.
The sincerity with which Bapi was doing the work pleased
Baba and He remarked that although in the eyes of the world
Bapi was a poor man, he and his family members were
fortunate to be rich in Baba's love. Baba remarked that such
love was rare and then added, "Even if such lovers were to
forget Me, I would not forget them!"
Baba continued:
I am the Avatar, I am the Perfect Master; I am whatever
you take Me to be. I am what I am, and, in fact, I am beyond
that too! Those who love Baba may have to pass through a
phase of suffering. But out of this barbadi [ruin] emerges
the real abadi [prosperity].
Gesturing at Bapi, Baba commented cryptically, "He is now
sinking in sand, next he will be floating in air and finally he will
find himself established on a firm foundation."
His fingers gesturing with grace yet rapidity, Baba
179
expanded on this comment. The following is the gist of what I

gathered from Baba's impromptu comments:
The average man of the world feels as if he has a stable
position, but remains ignorant of the fact that his very
"security" is like a pool of quicksand which will drag him
down. Those who are comfortable in the world seek even
more comfort and there is no end to this seeking to further
solidify one's position.
But the only way to achieve permanent stability is to not
depend on worldly security. Invariably lovers of God do not
seek a worldly refuge. In their overwhelming love for their
Beloved, these lovers are unmindful of all calamities or
suffering; the only thing they can cling to is their love.
Hence, they are like particles of dust floating in the air.
But as soon as this type of love for the Beloved blossoms
in their hearts, the love itself becomes their refuge. So they
find themselves, before long, established on a rock-like
foundation of unshakable faith, a profound conviction in the
Beloved as Love Itself.
As for Bapi Raju, he had to pass through some really difficult
times. There was even a day when his wife told him that there
was no food in the house. (Just then help came, but that's a
different story.) However, now, after a period of thirty-two
years, he is well off financially and his conviction in Beloved
Baba as the Highest of the High continues to deepen and
mature.
To quote a Sufi mystic:
On some occasions, He gives by depriving you,
Sometimes He deprives you in giving.
To accept cheerfully the refusals and favors of the Divine
Beloved, in a spirit of total surrender to His will, is to invite His
grace.
180
INCIDENTS
Flavors of Intimacy
Baba continued with His house visits at Tadepalligudem. At
each home, there was a different expression of Baba's intimacy
with His lovers. Baba's physical presence made a deep inroad
into the consciousness of His dear ones, creating a path as it
were along which their love could flow to Him more easily and
more directly. These house visits helped them learn to house
Him in their hearts.
At one place, the daughter of a Baba lover whom Baba called
"a fine man" could not contain herself and wept uncontrollably
at seeing Baba. With great tenderness, Baba consoled her with
His divine touch. At another place, Baba was asked to give a
name to the family's twelve-day-old son. The twelfth day
happens to be the day on which Hindus name their new-born
sons. Baba looked amused at this request and spelled out
"Meher Kumar" on His board.
While visiting the home of a Baba lover who was in charge of
the transportation arrangements, Baba casually inquired, "How
many children have you?" "Seven," was the reply and Baba
looked delighted. Whether Baba was pleased with the fact that
he had so many children or particularly with the number seven
was impossible to say. Perhaps He would have seemed as
delighted had the man said, "One."
At one home, pandits chanted Sanskrit verses to honor Baba
and Baba gave handfuls of sweets to the son of the host,
instructing him that he should have one each day while
remembering Baba. Wherever Baba found people ailing in the
homes He visited, He prescribed special medication for them to
take, usually along with His name.
Baba went to visit the Ganesh Rice mill where, the previous
day, the poor-feeding program had been held. Baba remarked,
"I am the 'poorest of the poor' so whosoever serves the poor,
serves Me." During this visit it was brought to Baba's attention
that Dhanapathi had forgotten to introduce some of his close
family to Him. Baba teased Dhanapathi by remarking, "No one
in the whole world is forgotten by Me and you forgot a few of
your very close ones! What sort of a memory have you?"
181
And He smiled a Baba smile.

At one point, as they were traveling, Baba's car had to wait at
a railway crossing. Baba got down from the car and then, to
everyone's surprise, walked into a nearby shop, ostensibly to get
out of the sun. The mandali, meanwhile, were told to stay
outside in the sun which was quite intense. But almost
immediately some clouds came and gave them relief. Baba also
visited the hut of a poor family and sat on the ground with them
for a while. This visit had not been scheduled.
At the Divine Life Society, Baba was received with great
respect and the following excerpts from their welcoming
address give some idea of their reverence for Baba:
It is a great pleasure for us to present this address to You
on the occasion of Your second visit to this branch. . . .
We closely followed Your latest message, "The Highest of
the High." It recalls the words of Lord Sri Krishna to Arjuna
demanding complete surrender to Him with body, mind and
all. . . . Your words, "Make Me your constant companion"
are ever roaring in our ears. . . .
Please permit us to declare to the public that You do not
belong to any limited circle, but belong to one and all, the
entire world.
It is neither possible nor practical to detail all the homes Baba
visited, or narrate all of the special incidents of love which
transpired during those visits. But perhaps something of the
flavor of the intimacy of these love encounters between the
Beloved and His lovers can be found in the above.
Tears Bring You Closer to Him
After completing all the other home visits, as He had promised
earlier, Baba returned to Bhaskara Raju's house where he and
his wife were waiting for their beloved God-Man. They paid
their respects to Baba who sat down on a folding cot. Bhaskara's
eyes feasted on Baba's beautiful and radiant face. Baba
gestured, "Sing a nice song for Me. But be quick, I have to go
182
INCIDENTS
to Gopalapuram." Bhaskara sang a song which he had
composed in Hindi. Later it was recomposed in Telugu and has
become a popular song among Baba lovers in Andhra. Baba
looked pleased with the song.
Originally, Bhaskara and his wife had not expected Baba to
visit their home. And later, when Baba assured them that He
would, He also instructed them to go straight there and wait for
Him, so they had not been able to get any fruits or sweets to
offer to Him. This meant that Baba could not bless what was
offered to Him and then have it distributed as His prasad to
those in the house.
Although Bhaskara and his wife hadn't mentioned this, Baba
suddenly asked Bhaskara's wife to get Him a glass of water. She
did so, thinking Baba must be thirsty, but instead of drinking it,
Baba merely dipped His fingers into the water and then gave the
glass back, commenting, "Distribute the water. . . as My
prasad."
Before He left, Baba again called Bhaskara's wife to Him and,
pointing at Bhaskara, remarked, "He is my man; I hand him
over to you. Look after him carefully." Bhaskara has been
blessed by Baba with a strong conviction in His divinity and he
continues to travel throughout Andhra to spread His message of
love and truth.
A footnote to Baba's visit to Bhaskara's house can be added
now as well. While there, Baba asked for the children to be
called to Him. Bharati, who was three or four at the time, was
eating or drinking something in the kitchen. When she was
called to see Baba, she replied, "I'll come when I finish." But by
the time she came out, Baba had left.
Over the subsequent three decades, although Bhaskara had
many opportunities to be in Baba's company, or to attend
gatherings of His lovers, it always seemed that something came
up which prevented Bharati from joining the family on such
occasions. In January 1985, just before Amartithi, she visited
Meherazad for the first time along with her family. In our
conversation, Baba's visit to her family in 1954 was mentioned
and she then haltingly told me of how she had missed her
chance to see Baba.
183
"Why didn't I go at once when I was called?" she wondered

aloud in obvious regret and repentance. "Why didn't He prompt
me to go to Him? Why did He allow me to miss my chance?"
she exclaimed in distress, and began to weep.
I replied, "Because He is compassionate." "Compassionate!
How?" she asked, hiding her head in her sari so I would not see
her crying.
"Perhaps so that you should weep in His remembrance and
love Him more someday," I suggested.
"But why did it have to take thirty years before I could come
here to have His darshan?"
"Baba knows the opportune moment when your shedding
tears in love for Him will bring you closer to Him. And thirty
years of waiting to receive such a great blessing is nothing!" By
this time, not only were tears rolling down her cheeks, but mine
as well. However, I managed to conclude, "Each drop of your
tears will cleanse your heart. This will bring you closer to Him
and you will find Him walking toward you."
The next day I met Bharati at Meherabad and casually
remarked, "So, at last you have come to Meherabad!" This once
again brought the tears to the surface and I continued, "Now
you must be feeling Baba getting closer to you. Mind you, He
may walk so fast that soon the span of thirty years will, by His
grace, be quickly crossed!" At this we both laughed freely.
Baba Sits Majestically Atop His Car
After the house visits at Tadepalligudem, Baba left for
Gopalapuram. On the way, He stopped at a small village,
Ramchandrapuram. Here, everyone seemed to know of Baba
and had great reverence for Him. After a small darshan
program, Baba's arti was sung in chorus and then all proceeded
to Gopalapuram. They arrived there around 3:00 in the
afternoon.
Arrangements for Baba's brief stay had been made in the
house of M. N. Swami who had vacated it for Baba's use. On
184
INCIDENTS
arriving they found that tea was already ready and the mandali
were requested to have it immediately. The tea was to be served
in a nearby place and Baba permitted the mandali, even
including Eruch, to leave Him and have tea. Only Bhaskara
Raju was left waiting with Baba.
Baba seemed restless and walked from room to room in the
house—a characteristic of His when engaged in inner working.
In the meantime, some of the people who had gathered around
the house waiting for the darshan program, began climbing
over the compound walls so they could approach the house and
see Baba.
Bhaskara saw this and was upset at this breach of discipline.
His inner desire was to go out and reprimand those who were
threatening to disturb Baba's privacy. Although thin and not
particularly strong, he was full of fervor where Baba was
concerned. Knowing what was in his mind, Baba turned to him
and gestured that he shouldn't worry. But Bhaskara was still
boiling within. Baba walked over to him and lovingly put His
hands on his shoulders and gently pushed him until he was
seated on the windowsill. Now there was no question of
disobeying and leaving Baba's presence to scold the interlopers.
A little later, Baba gave Bhaskara some tea and biscuits which
had been kept in the house for Him. Baba looked at him with
love and tears gathered in Bhaskara's eyes. Such intimate
moments with Baba which bring tears coursing down one's
cheeks, whether they occur in dreams or during one's silent
inner communion with Him, link a person to His Presence and
softly push the individual closer to the Indivisible One—Baba!
Baba continued to seem restless, however. He was displeased
that people were forced to wait outside in the hot sun for Him,
while His mandali were leisurely having their tea. When
Dhanapathi returned, Baba asked him whether he had called
Baba there for the sake of the villagers or so that he could
entertain the mandali!
Baba continued, "I will wait here for only five more minutes.
Remember, I have come for these people and not for a picnic or
185
tea party for the mandali! I don't like the idea of sitting here
when people are waiting for Me there [at the pandal]. Once I
lose my mood, I might beat you! Don't act like a fool."
Shortly thereafter, Baba left for the pandal, arriving there by
around 3:30. The hot sun did not seem to deter the crowds, for
even as Baba arrived, more people could be seen flocking to the
area. From nowhere, clouds suddenly appeared and it began to
drizzle. As soon as arti was started, it began raining more
steadily and the heat was immediately dissipated and a nice cool
atmosphere prevailed. The villagers considered this sudden,
brief, and unexpected shower most auspicious and, who knows,
perhaps indeed the rain was a tangible result of Baba's
compassion for those who had stood in the hot sun waiting for
Him!
People in the pandal started to stand up so they could have a
better view of Baba. As people stood, those sitting behind them
had to stand as well so they could see. Soon there was a good
deal of confusion and unrest in the gathering as all started trying
to get a better glimpse of Baba. Baba stood up so all could see
Him and then walked to each side of the dais and folded His
hands to the crowds, asking them to please remain seated.
Copies of one of the prepared messages, "Relief from
Suffering," in Telugu and English, were distributed to the
people. The message, though brief, has the profound simplicity
of the Buddha's "four noble truths." It reads:
Man or woman, whether rich or poor, great or small, each
is under the spell of some sort of suffering. The relief from
every kind of suffering is within yourself, if you try, under
all circumstances and in every walk of life, to think
honestly, act honestly, and live honestly. When you put your
wholehearted faith in God, the relief is found.
You are already in possession of Infinite power and
happiness, but it is your way of life which prevents you
from enjoying these eternal treasures of God.
As the leaflets were being passed out, the crowd again began
to get restless. Baba once more stood and asked all to sit
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INCIDENTS
down. Then Baba Himself sat up on the top of the backrest of
His chair so that everyone could have a better view of Him.
The crowd was too large, perhaps more than 13,000, for Baba
to give prasad to each in the limited time He had available, so
Baba touched the sweets to be distributed later and then left the
platform and went to His car. This precipitated a headlong rush
toward Baba's car. Many had brought sweets and garlands to
offer Baba and, seeing that they would have no opportunity to
do so, they now began throwing their garlands before Baba's
car. A veritable rain of flowers poured down. Baba's car was
like an island in the middle of a river of humanity that swirled
about, flooding its banks, because the Ocean of Love was now
in its midst.
After the car had gone only a short distance, Baba had it
stopped and then got down and sat underneath a tree so His
lovers would have another opportunity to see Him. But the
multitude was so vast that those at the back still could not get a
glimpse of Baba. Therefore, Baba climbed up to the roof of the
car and stood there for a few moments, and then sat for a while
so all could see Him.
Meanwhile, poor Kumar had to scramble as best he could up
the back of the car so that he could hold an umbrella over
Baba's head. But Baba Himself seemed unmindful of the sun as
He sat there looking out over the large assemblage. Seeing Baba
sitting so majestically atop the car, the people spontaneously
started singing bhajans glorifying Him. Truly it was a spectacle
that would have melted the hardest heart. Luckily there is some
brief footage in the Andhra film capturing this heart-stirring
event.
The crowd was so unexpectedly large because villagers had
come, not just from Gopalapuram, but from many of the
surrounding villages as well—traveling by bullock carts so as
not to miss this rare opportunity of seeing the Avatar, God in
human form, in their midst.
Baba was here for only three quarters of an hour and yet the
crowd seemed to enjoy every moment spent in His company.
Only a brief message had been delivered; there had been no
time for singing bhajans during the program and Baba had
187
not distributed prasad personally. Yet, He filled the darshan

grounds with the music of His silence, and the sweetness of His
presence radiated from the top of the car.
Simultaneous Rest and Restlessness
Baba left Gopalapuram for Nidadavolu at around 4:15 P.M. The
road in places was just a country unpaved road and Baba's
lovers had put flags along it as it wound through the fields so
that Baba's caravan would know which way to go. Some of the
mandali were reminded of Baba's Hamirpur tour, especially
when Baba stopped the car and gave darshan to groups of His
lovers waiting on the road for Him.
After traveling for two hours, Baba and His party reached
Nidadavolu. Within ten minutes of Baba's arrival, a large
darshan program was held. During this program, Baba
spontaneously decided to convey "something special" to the
gathering but as there was no microphone, Baba wasn't able to
do this which displeased Him.
Although the original schedule called for Baba to spend only
an hour at Nidadavolu, in addition to giving darshan to about
5,000 people, He decided to visit a few of His lovers' houses as
well. He went to the Andhra Meher Center which was in the
house of I. C. Mallikarjuna Rao. Baba bowed down to His
picture there which was used for worship. He also visited the
head office of KDRM.
Then Baba went to T. S. Kutumba Sastri's house where a
woman who had been mistreated and finally kicked out of her
home by her husband was introduced to Baba as a "very
unfortunate person." There was a serious look on Baba's face
and He gestured, "Why do you call her unfortunate when this
has ultimately led her to be in the presence of God in human
form? You should regard her as most fortunate; more fortunate
than the rishis and munis who have longed for ages for My
darshan."
Baba then lovingly turned His attention to the woman and
gestured, "Don't worry, don't fear; I will help you. Remember
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INCIDENTS
Me and be happy." Baba's responses to those in need always
seem so simple, and yet the God-Man's assurance, "Don't
worry, I will help you," carries with it a deep internal assistance
and is more effective than the most elaborate sermon from
others.
Incidentally, it may be added here that although sometimes it
does seem that some people yearn for the Avatar's contact for
years, while others are granted this rare privilege without
seemingly desiring it, the Avatar, however, in His infinite
Compassion, always chooses the right moment for such contact;
it is never an instant too soon or a moment too late.
A little after sunset, Baba left for Kovvur which He reached at
8:00 that night. He was led directly to P. Ramalingeshwara
(Ramling) Rao's house. When the mandali got down from their
buses, they saw a large gathering of Ramling's friends and
relatives waiting to have Baba's darshan.
What they did not know was that Ramling's daughter was
getting married and thus the ranks of those waiting to greet
Baba were swelled by the guests of the wedding party. In that
crowd were many of the important people from the town and
women dressed in elegant and beautifully colored saris.
Liveliness and joy filled the air. A nice pandal had been erected
and a comfortable chair, covered with a lion skin, had been
placed there for Baba. All of this care reflected the host's great
love for Baba.
In mid-January when Ramling first heard of Baba's intended
visit to Andhra, he had written Him offering his services. He
wrote that from the moment Baba entered Andhra to the instant
He left, he would stay with Him and assist Him in any way he
could. In response to this letter, a reply was sent to Ramling in
which Baba nicknamed him "Baba's P.A." meaning personal
assistant.
Now, when Baba saw the large crowd waiting for Him, He
turned to Ramling and remarked, "You are My P.A. You wish
to see to My comfort. And yet, after the very tiring program at
Gopalapuram where I had to give darshan from the top of the
car, I find that instead of being allowed to rest here, you expect
Me now to give darshan and meet all these people."
189
Ramling was tongue-tied and immediately felt that Baba was

right and that he had been inconsiderate of Baba's health in
expecting Him to meet so many of his relatives and wedding
guests. K. Sastri then began reprimanding him, telling him that
introductions to those gathered should be postponed till the next
day and Baba should be allowed to rest. This often happened
around Baba, concern for His well being would prompt others
to speak out in situations where normally they would remain
silent.
Baba immediately intervened before any argument could
ensue between Sastri and Ramling and, in His inimitable way,
indirectly rebuked both of them while simultaneously reassuring
them of His love: "For eternity, I have been simultaneously
experiencing continual rest and continual restlessness. Don't
worry about my rest, but try to anticipate my needs and listen
attentively to what I say."
A Night Stay in the Launches
Changing the subject slightly, Baba went on, "At Nidadavolu, I
wanted to dictate something, but they did not have a mike.
Printed messages which had been dictated earlier were
distributed; they have their significance, but messages dictated
spontaneously are different. When I dictate on the board, on the
spot, then those messages have a special significance. Last night
a dance was arranged at Tadepalligudem. I had the urge to
convey a message but the mike that was there was out of order."
Completely out of context, Dhanapathi suddenly interjected,
"Baba, there is a good mast in Kovvur!" Baba smiled and
commented, "Now it seems that Dhanapathi's mind, because of
his love for Me, has also gone out of order! If he were to see Me
as I really am, even just a glimpse, then he wouldn't interrupt
Me and say, 'Baba, take rest, take food or here is a mast!' He
will then become a mast himself." All present had a good laugh
and this served as a signal for an informal darshan to begin.
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INCIDENTS
Ramling had printed copies of the welcome address which
were distributed. The opening lines give an idea of his faith in
Baba, for the address began, "Blessed Baba! Welcome Lord of
Love, Lord Siva Himself." Then those present were introduced
to Baba. As one person introduced all of his family members to
Baba—from grandparents to grandchildren—Baba smiled and
gestured, "I am My own wife, My own husband, My own child.
This is not just idle talk, but I am that."
Despite His earlier remarks about wishing to rest, Baba not
only met all those gathered, but also permitted them to perform
His arti and then to come forward to garland Him. There were
flower garlands, lace garlands, camphor garlands, elaborate
garlands of all sorts and sizes were lovingly placed around
Baba's neck with such rapidity that Eruch quickly had to
remove some before Baba's face was completely immersed in
flowers.
Baba, looking radiant and beaming His inimitable smile, in
receiving the garlands mirrored the love of those offering them
to Him. And, accompanying Baba's smile was His blessing for
each. After greeting all, Baba was led inside where He was
served supper. By the time we finished our meals, it was past
9:00 and most of us were exhausted from the long day and
wondering when we would be able to sleep.
When we asked Pendu what the arrangements were, he
informed us that we would be spending the night on launches
on the Godavari river. This struck almost all of us as an
excellent arrangement, for the thought of sleeping under the
stars while the Godavari gently lapped against the sides of the
launch seemed most appealing.
But as time passed with no move being made to leave
Ramling's house, some again approached Pendu to find out
what was happening and he said, "Forget about sleeping for a
while; we still have to attend a program first!"
This program was news to us. Baba had been scheduled to
give darshan the next morning, but apparently when He heard
that hundreds of people, town folks and villagers, had already
gathered in the pandal on the banks of the river, He agreed to
stop there before retiring for the night. Baba often
191
stated that He was the slave of the love of His lovers, and we
saw proof of it again this night, for Baba really did look tired.
But He did not want to disappoint the hearts of those who had
gathered in His love and devotion. It seems that Baba's "rest"
was in answering the restless calls of His lovers.
By the time Baba reached the pandal, there were nearly five
thousand people there who hailed Him as He arrived. The
pandal had been nicely decorated and was illuminated well so
that all could clearly see Baba. It has been noticed many times
that when Baba appeared before the public, His face seemed to
shine with a special radiance which enhanced His physical
beauty.
All were spellbound seeing Baba's luminous countenance.
Many in the crowd spontaneously remarked, "What a divine
expression!" "How divinely pure!" So intent were the people in
gazing at Baba's charming radiant face that even when the
sound of fireworks, which had been arranged in Baba's honor,
could be heard exploding outside, none left to look at them.
Baba sat there for around half an hour and the feast of His silent
presence and vibrant love ended by around 10:00 that night. We
then traveled only a short distance down the banks of the
Godavari to where our launches were waiting.
Baba's launch was quite well equipped. It had a separate
bedroom, living room, dining room and even electricity. Baba
and four of the mandali were to stay here. There were two other
launches for the rest of those traveling with Baba. These were
moored next to each other and the quickest way to get from one
to the other was simply to jump from deck to deck.
While we were scurrying about in the dark (there were only a
few lanterns on each launch) looking for places to sleep and
stow our bags, Helen of Dehra Dun misjudged the distance
between the launches and fell into the river. Although he landed
in waist deep water, he had the presence of mind to hold his bag
over his head so it wouldn't get soaked. In good-natured
camaraderie, this feat was cheered by the rest of us.
It was after 11:00 when we finally got our luggage stowed
away. As there were so many of us, we slept wherever we
could, some on the roofs of the launches, some on the little deck
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INCIDENTS
space that was available, some inside. Once we were all settled,
we cast off and set out for the opposite shore. As we
approached, the engines were cut and anchors were dropped.
Baba's launch continued until it was practically on the
Rajahmundry bank itself. This was done so that Baba would not
be disturbed by any noise from the Kovvur side, or by His
people either.
Baba's Order to Drown Savak in the Godavari
The next morning a small boat brought large containers full of
tea and South-Indian delicacies, such as uppama, for breakfast.
It was delightful on the river in the early morning, seeing the
sun shining on the sparkling waters and Kovvur nestled along
the bank on the far side.
Savak Kotwal was in charge of catering and so he accepted
the food and then distributed it to all on the two launches where
we were staying. There was plenty and we enjoyed ourselves.
After breakfast, our launches were taken all the way to the
Rajahmundry side where Baba's launch was already anchored.
Baba was strolling on the beach with a few of His mandali. He
could see a crowd forming on the Kovvur banks and turned to
Eruch and inquired, "What time is it? It's getting late, already
people are waiting for Me and we haven't even had our
breakfast yet!"
Just then Koduri Krishna Rao, who had sent us our morning
refreshments, had himself taken across the river to Baba to
make sure He had everything He needed. Baba greeted him in a
solemn mood and gestured, "Why didn't you send breakfast for
Me?" "But I did, Baba," Krishna Rao replied.
In His All-knowing ignorance, Baba totally overlooked this
and continued, "You have forgotten the Avatar and remembered
only His mandali." Krishna Rao looked puzzled but did not say
anything; it was not his way to argue or offer excuses on his
behalf. To his immense surprise, Baba unexpectedly turned to
one of His mandali and gestured, "Throw him in the
193
river!"
Koduri Krishna Rao was startled by the authoritative tone
with which Eruch spoke this out, and by the fact that instantly
one of the mandali stepped forward to grab him. Instinctively,
without thinking, Krishna Rao retreated. This "chase" continued
for a minute or two until Baba called both to Him.
Krishna Rao's mind was too shaken by the incident to
appreciate the fact that Baba's very order that he be thrown into
the Godavari indicated the special intimacy that Baba felt for
him. Baba would never have given such an order to someone
who was not one of His close ones. Krishna Rao was not aware
of this at the time, however, and his mind was in a state of
turmoil as he approached. Baba gestured, "Forget about it. Don't
worry, I forgive you," and He smiled.
While Krishna Rao was still reeling under the shock of what
had just transpired the mandali's launches pulled up on shore,
some distance from where Baba was standing. Baba called for
Savak Kotwal.
"Did you have a good breakfast?" Baba asked. "Yes, Baba,"
Savak answered. "It was very nice and we had more than
enough." Baba's eyebrows rose, as though in surprise and,
instead of looking pleased, Baba seemed upset, and then
informed Savak, "While you were seeing that everyone on the
two launches had enough to eat, Baba's launch was not provided
with anything! Do you know that?"
This came as a shock to Savak who was responsible for seeing
that all received their meals. Savak apologized and asked Baba's
pardon for the mistake that had occurred.
Apparently what had happened was that Krishna Rao had sent
the food in a launch and had either forgotten to inform the
boatman that some of the refreshments were to be taken to
Baba's launch, or the boatman had not properly understood his
instructions. When Savak received the tea and delicacies, he
assumed that a similar arrangement must have been made for
Baba's breakfast and that it had been sent directly to His launch.
As Baba's launch was moored at a distance, it wasn't possible to
simply call out and make sure. It was no one's fault really; just a
case of lack of communication.
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INCIDENTS
To some it may appear that Baba's displeasure was completely
out of proportion to the "cause." But Baba's actions cannot be
compared to those of an ordinary man. He expressed certain
emotions only because through them He was able to reach deep
into the hearts of His dear ones to awaken love. To say that
Baba got angry is, in a way, not right. Even to say Baba was
annoyed, or upset, irritated or displeased does not capture what
it was like when Baba was "out of mood."
Baba's moods were such that if He was happy, others felt
happy just being in His presence. When Baba became serious or
solemn, whether He said anything or not, all felt the solemnity
about Him. When Baba "lost His mood," it was like dark rain
clouds suddenly covering the sun. What hurt the mandali most
was to find Baba in an unhappy mood owing to some
negligence on their part. And the reaction Baba's "anger" caused
in those who experienced it was very different from what might
be expected from a worldly standpoint. It was like a delicate
surgery which created, through temporary agony, lasting love.
Baba called Krishna Rao to Him. Krishna Rao was a tall man
with strong broad shoulders. When he hurried over, Baba turned
to Him and conveyed, "Savak is the one entrusted with the duty
of catering. Yet he only thought about those on the other
launches and he did not think of Me! Will you now obey Me if I
ask you to do something for Me?"
Krishna Rao was still shaken from his experience of Baba's
displeasure and humbly replied, "Yes, Baba."
Baba then gestured, "Get a strong rope and a big stone; tie it
around Savak's neck and throw him in the middle of the
Godavari!" Baba then turned and casually walked away. Once
more Krishna Rao's mind was plunged in confusion while his
heart was thrown into turmoil. Seeing him hesitate, Savak urged
him, "Hurry up, carry out Baba's orders."
Krishna Rao was astonished. How could this be? He knew
from his own experience how difficult it was to obey such an
order and here one of Baba's mandali was blaming him for not
seeing to his execution promptly enough. He marveled at
Savak's faith and love, for his eagerness to literally follow
195
Baba's order indicated a devotion to Baba whose depth he could

not begin to fathom. But despite Savak's promptings, he could
not bring himself to throw Savak into the river.
Further complicating the situation was the fact that there were
no large stones (or even small ones) to be seen on the shore so
literal obedience to the order did not seem possible. Krishna
Rao hesitantly approached Baba and confessed his inability to
carry out the order.
Baba did not reply at once, but that silence churned up many
an emotion in Krishna Rao's heart. Finally, and suddenly, to
Krishna Rao's delight, the expression of displeasure on Baba's
face disappeared and He told him not to worry about it. Then he
called Savak over and also pardoned him for his negligence.
After doing that, Baba changed the subject completely and
seemed to forget about the whole affair.
This too was typical of Baba's way of working with His
lovers; He might seem to take one to task for some trifling
affair, blowing it up completely out of proportion, but when He
forgave, it was done so wholeheartedly that it was as if the
matter had never happened.
Yet it was not so easy for Krishna Rao to forget it all. After a
while all were instructed to get into the launches to head back to
Kovvur. Krishna Rao had tremendous respect for Baba, which
was why he had come forward to act as Baba's host, but his
heart had not completely accepted Baba as the Avatar. This
incident, however, far from convincing Krishna Rao that Baba
was a hardhearted and capricious taskmaster, was instrumental
in helping him love Baba as the God-Man. Krishna Rao's
subsequent faith and conviction in Baba were marvelous to
behold. In later years they prompted him, at considerable
expense, to erect on his own property, a beautiful monument of
stone and bronze to commemorate the Avatar's visit and to
inspire others to love Him as He should be loved. We cannot
truly understand the way in which the Avatar "tunes" the hearts
of His lovers, we can only marvel at the beauty of the music
they ultimately produce.
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INCIDENTS
Savak's Desperate Yearning to Be with Baba
Here it seems reasonable, and appropriate as well, to digress a
little and briefly recount Savak's coming to Baba. This will give
something of the flavor of the lives of those who surrendered
totally to Meher Baba, the God-Man, and sincerely tried to
follow His every wish. They only wanted to please Him whose
slightest act, they believed, was a selfless dispensation of divine
love, not only to them, but for all humanity. The least
negligence on their part in following Baba's instructions was
torture to them. This was the life of the mandali; a life of
complete surrender in obedience to the eternal Master, the
Avatar.
Savak came from a middle class family and had a job in
Bombay in the Bank of India. At the age of twenty-three he fell
in love with Nargiz who was then nineteen. She was from a
very wealthy family but she and Savak loved each other despite
the difference in their social status. Nargiz's parents, however,
were opposed to the marriage. They were concerned that their
daughter would not be able to lead a comfortable life if married
to Savak. But Nargiz insisted and she and Savak married in
spite of her parents' reservations. In those days of arranged
marriages, this caused quite a commotion in the Parsi
community.
Although Savak and Nargiz were happy together, a great
spiritual longing developed in Savak. After office hours, instead
of going home, he took to visiting sadhus and saints in Bombay,
and he would spend a good deal of money in serving them.
Luckily, in the course of his spiritual search, Savak had the rare
good fortune of meeting Upasni Maharaj, Hazrat Babajan and
Narayan Maharaj—three of the Perfect Masters of the time.
While reading Sakori na Sadguru, a biography in Gujarati of
Upasni Maharaj, Savak for the first time came across Meher
Baba's name.
Later, while visiting Hazrat Babajan, he overheard someone
commenting that Babajan was Meher Baba's Sadguru. The same
person also happened to mention that Meher Baba was staying
at Meherabad, near Ahmednagar. Hearing this,
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Savak spontaneously had the urge to visit Meher Baba. The

moment he saw Baba, he knew he had found the One for whom
he had been searching.
After that first meeting, even though it entailed a twelve-hour
train ride each way, Savak would go to Ahmednagar almost
every weekend to be with Baba. During the week, as soon as his
work was over, he would go to Chowpaty, a beach, where he
would feed any sadhus that were there, regardless of whether
they were genuine or not. A considerable part of his income was
spent in this way.
Savak also continued to visit Upasni Maharaj, Hazrat Babajan
and Narayan Maharaj, but now, each time he met them, he
would simply pray to them, "May Meher Baba's grace descend
upon me. Please grant me this."
On weekdays, after feeding the sadhus, Savak would return
home and spend the rest of his time, well into the night, reading
spiritual books. The Kabirvani (the couplets of Kabir, the
Perfect Master) was one of his favorites. Nargiz, out of love for
Savak, did her best to try and stay awake as he read although
she had no real interest in spiritual subjects.
Nargiz found it difficult to understand Savak's preoccupation
as she had no leaning toward spirituality. Savak, on the other
hand, seemed quite content in spending almost all of his time
and money either visiting Baba or serving sadhus in Bombay,
while virtually ignoring his wife and newly born daughter.
Nargiz's parents, especially her father, were quite distressed at
this and, feeling that she was being neglected, suggested she
divorce Savak and come and stay with them. Nargiz told her
father that whatever was happening to her was her destiny and
she must face it. However, as time passed, she became
interested in meeting this Meher Baba who seemed to be
stealing her husband's heart and making him forget all about his
family and worldly responsibilities.
One time, on hearing that Baba had come to Bombay, Nargiz
in desperation went to Dina Talati's to meet Him. Baba walked
in and walked past her without her noticing Him. Then Vishnu,
one of Baba's mandali, entered the room and
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INCIDENTS
asked her to come in and see Baba. She entered and sat before
Baba, exclaiming, "So you are Meher Baba!" Baba nodded that
He was and then, with obvious concern, asked her what she
wanted.
The look of loving compassion which Nargiz saw in Baba's
face unleashed all of her pent-up emotions and she burst into
tears and complained that Savak was neglecting her and their
new born child, Najoo. Baba nodded tenderly and said, "I have
come not to separate, but to unite." These words pierced her
heart. Baba added, "Don't worry. Everything will be all right."
Nargiz felt reassured and inwardly she was filled with joy.
Baba also moderated Savak's enthusiasm for visiting sadhus
by remarking once, "Those who have come in contact with the
Emperor do not need to seek favor of the guards to gain
admittance to His palace." After this, Savak stopped visiting
them unless on Baba's orders.
Over the next twelve years, although Nargiz was still
primarily interested in raising a family and leading an ordinary
worldly life, she helped Savak do whatever they could for Baba.
She used to stitch clothes for the masts and the mad in Baba's
ashrams. Savak, who was still working at the bank, longed to be
with Baba permanently, however. In 1939 he wrote Baba a
letter in which he poured out his heart, explaining how his only
desire was to leave everything and come stay with Baba. Baba
replied, "Dear Savak, I know how you long. . . . I know how
you feel. I know what you think. Don't worry and leave
everything to Me. . . . "
This letter, signed by Baba, only fueled the fire of Savak's
longing and, on the day he was promoted from the post of a
cashier to that of an agent of the bank at a branch in Bombay (a
prestigious post both socially and financially), he resigned from
his job. Nargiz was appalled when she heard of Savak's rash
decision, but he explained that he couldn't concentrate any more
on his job because his longing to join Baba had become
overpowering.
Nargiz wrote to Baba about Savak's reckless move and Baba
immediately called Savak to Bangalore to see Him.
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Savak explained to Baba that he could no longer bear to stay

in the world and, since Baba wouldn't allow him to come live
with Him, he was going to go to the Himalayas. Baba looked
serious at this and conveyed, "If you can find any guru who is
greater than I, then you may go to the Himalayas, otherwise you
should come to stay with Me." This was the most unexpected
yet most welcome invitation and Savak immediately renounced
his idea of going to the Himalayas and declared without
hesitation that he intended to come and stay with Baba.
"To You I Shall Give the Ocean"
Baba, however, told Savak that first he should go back to
Bombay and return with Nargiz so that He could discuss the
matter with her. Baba wanted to know what she thought of
Savak's intention of coming to stay permanently with Him.
Accordingly, a few days later, the couple arrived and Baba
immediately broached the subject with Nargiz.
"Savak is coming to stay with Me," He informed her, with a
look of great solemnity. "What," He asked with great
tenderness, "is your wish?" Nargiz replied that she would
follow Savak wherever he went, and then added simply,
"Whatever belongs to me is also yours."
Baba looked very pleased at this response and began giving
them instructions for winding up their affairs in Bombay and
joining Him. When they returned to Bombay, they therefore
began selling everything they owned, except for a sewing
machine which Nargiz had Baba's permission to keep. She had
used it to stitch the masts' clothes and she thought it would be
useful, so she asked Baba if they could keep it and He said,
"Yes."
So it was that on March 15, 1940, the Kotwal family—Savak,
Nargiz and their three children, Najoo, Hilla and Adi—came to
Bangalore with their worldly possessions reduced to a sewing
machine, a very small box which contained all of Nargiz's
jewelry, and a large amount of cash which was stuffed in an
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INCIDENTS
envelope.
Soon after they arrived, the enormity of what they had done—
committing themselves to a penniless life in the Master's
ashram—hit Nargiz with a shock. She had never protested about
joining Baba, but now that it was happening, and so
precipitously, it seemed too much for her and she fell sick.
Savak, holding the envelope that contained the proceeds from
everything they had sold, wanted to offer it to Baba. But Baba,
who touched money only when giving it to the poor or the
lepers or the masts, gestured that Savak should put it in a pocket
of His coat. Then Savak handed over Nargiz's jewelry box as
well. Baba accepted it with love, but got up from His seat and
went to Nargiz who was resting in a room and gestured, "Savak
has given Me this box. Does it belong to you?"
"Yes, Baba," Nargiz replied. "It contains all my jewelry. It is
all Yours. You may do whatever You want with it." Instead of
appearing pleased at this touching evidence of surrender by one
who was not that drawn to spirituality and, except for her
husband, would have preferred to lead an ordinary worldly life,
Baba asked, "Is there anything more?"
Nargiz was about to say no, but the seriousness with which
Baba asked the question made her pause and then she suddenly
remembered that Najoo and Hilla, her small daughters, were
wearing pretty little earrings of gold studded with tiny rubies.
She told her daughters to take off these earrings and give them
to Baba.
Now, a radiant smile played upon Baba's beaming face as He
held the jewelry box and the earrings in His hands. Baba looked
at Nargiz with great love and, as if in answer to her unvoiced
worries about the future, He assured her, "I am pleased with
you. From today, till the very end, I will see to your children's
littlest needs." Then, turning to Savak, with a proud look, Baba
announced, "And to you, I shall give the Ocean."
Savak's life with Baba reminds me of something Baba once
told us in the mid-'50s. Beloved Baba was sitting with some of
His close ones in the hall at Meherabad. His shining eyes
seemed to miss nothing and no one. During the informal
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conversation, amidst the laughter and jokes and special intimacy

which Baba always created about Him, He suddenly began to
convey great spiritual truths to all of us there. With Baba there
was never any distinction between the "spiritual" and the
"worldly" as there is with ordinary men. On this particular
occasion Baba conveyed:
Love is a gift from God to man.
Obedience is a gift from Master to man.
Surrender is a gift from man to Master.
Savak's great yearning as a young man for the spiritual life,
which eventually became transformed into an insatiable rest-
lessness to be with Baba, was God's gift to Savak. When he
came to live with Baba and faithfully followed Baba's orders,
that obedience—that opportunity to obey—was the Master's gift
to Savak.
Now, in his old age, Savak stays in Bombay with his family,
and his acceptance of this metropolitan life, with its day to day
delights and discomforts, is his attempt to offer his gift of
surrender to the Beloved Master. So, although Krishna Rao
could not bring himself to drown Savak in the Godavari,
Savak's merging in the Ocean that Meher Baba is, is certain.
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1954 - PART X
Baba's Darshan Is Ever New
On the morning of February 27, as Meher Baba's launch
approached the Kovvur bank of the Godavari, the mandali
noticed a large crowd eagerly waiting to greet Baba. Another
day of darshan had begun; another day of artis and addresses,
crowded programs and whirlwind house visits. And yet, every
day of Baba's darshan tour was different.
Just as each sunrise has a unique and charming design,
unfurled through the combination of colors at the horizon,
inspiring birds to chirp, filling the air with song, so too the
radiating presence of Baba's love at each program was reflected
differently, and could be seen in the devotion-filled eyes of the
crowds and their enthusiasm in welcoming the Avatar in their
midst.
The pandal was not far from the river, in fact it was right on
the river bank itself, and it was about a quarter of nine when
Baba took His seat on the dais where He had sat the night
before. His presence pervaded the assembly like soft luminous
clouds and all seemed to be overwhelmed with a profound
feeling of adoration.
The program was inaugurated by offering arti to Baba. This
was followed by the reading of Baba's three messages in
Telugu; the English translations were also distributed to the
public. Then a welcome address on behalf of the Kovvur Meher
Center was read out.
After this, Baba, as He did at most darshan programs, left the
dais and sat on the ground to express His Oneness with the
masses. Perhaps this was also one of His ways of giving a
spiritual push to those assembled, to help them feel His loving
companionship with them.
Before the darshan began, Baba had it announced that
everyone should simply come with love to receive His prasad
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of love and then quickly move on so that all could avail them-
selves of this opportunity; none should take the time to garland
Him, or bow down to Him or even stop in front of Him. All
were asked to keep moving.
As the people filed by and received their share of prasad, they
would quickly look up to gaze at Baba's luminous face and then
reverently revert their gaze to His feet. Even those who had
come purely out of curiosity, found it hard not to feel their
hearts moved, at least for those moments in His presence. After
two hours of this rapid yet heart-stirring dispensation of divine
love, Baba left the pandal.
It was now a little before 11:00 and Baba was taken back to
Ramalingeshwara Rao's house where all had a delicious meal
which he lovingly had arranged. Baba then began making house
visits. First, Baba visited Krishna Rao's home. In honor of this
visit, Krishna Rao started a free kitchen at his house for the
local people, especially the poor, which he continued for a
week. During these communal meals, Krishna Rao also
arranged for passages from holy books to be read out so it could
be a feast for the heart as well as the stomach. (Later, on March
4, Krishna Rao informed Baba that about 15,000 people had
availed themselves of this kitchen service.)
On February 27, after leaving Krishna Rao's house, Baba paid
a surprise visit to a poor man's home. He also visited the home
of Bogi Raju, the driver of one of the buses which carried the
mandali during the tour. Baba also graced the house of Mrs.
Tayaramma, who had introduced special meetings exclusively
for the women of the town as a part of the Kovvur Meher
Center.
It was nearly 1:30 by the time the house visits were completed
and Baba, with His mandali, left for Rajahmundry.
Heart: The House of Beloved God
Rajahmundry was on the opposite bank of the Godavari but it
took over an hour to drive there because it was necessary first to
drive some distance along the canal road, parallel to the
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river, to reach the anicut (causeway) which crossed the

Godavari and then they had to drive back up the river to
Rajahmundry. They drove through the city itself and went
straight to the Nava Bharat Gurukul where Baba had presided
over the opening of a hall the previous year. This year, Baba
was being accommodated in one of the buildings while the
mandali were to stay nearby, in another.
Here, after refreshing ourselves by a short rest and washing
our faces and hands, we all accompanied Baba to the M.H.
School where the public darshan program had been arranged.
Outside the grounds were a number of cars, testifying to the
attendance of the town's elite as well as quite a few high
government officials. In all, there were about five thousand
people present, waiting for Baba's darshan.
The program followed the usual course, beginning with
prayers in Telugu, followed by an arti sung to Baba. Then there
were two addresses read out welcoming Baba. The headmaster
of the Municipal High School concluded his address with the
following words, "O Prabhu! Awaken in us true knowledge and
cure us of our ignorance." Later, Baba made a point of sitting on
the ground with the audience and having His reason for doing
so explained over the public address system.
This all took half an hour or so. It was now nearing 4:30 in the
afternoon and, addressing the people, Baba conveyed:
In the Spiritual Path, messages and addresses mean
nothing. Without actual experience, all philosophical state-
ments are idle talk and all this ceremonial phenomenon is a
further addition to illusion.
If instead of erecting churches, mandirs (temples), fire-
temples and mosques, people were to establish a house for
Beloved God in their hearts, My work will have been done.
If, instead of performing ceremonies and rituals mechan-
ically, as age-old customs, people were to serve their fellow
beings with love and selflessness—taking God to be equally
residing in all and understanding that by serving others they
are serving God—My work will have been
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fulfilled.
I give you all My blessings so that, if not all, at least some
of you, or one of you, can love God honestly and find Me in
everyone and everything.
Now, I will give My prasad of love which you should
accept with love. No one should bow down to Me or offer
fruit or anything to Me. Only take with love what I give
with love.
Baba then proceeded to distribute prasad for a little over two
hours. The speed with which Baba handed out the prasad was
amazing, and yet there was a graceful elegance to Baba's
movements. His attention seemed so totally concentrated on
each person filing by that it was as if Baba was experiencing
Himself in all. As such, those who received the prasad felt His
love and appreciation of them, irrespective of their individual
weaknesses or failings.
Most of those present received prasad, and it was Baba's
intention to stay until He had given it to all. When, however,
people persisted in touching His feet, despite repeated requests
on His behalf not to do so, Baba finally stopped the distribution
and returned to the Gurukul Ashram.
Baba's Message to the Children
While sitting with His lovers at the Gurukul, an informal
discussion took place during which Baba stated:
As I said previously, each time I want to explain
"something special" the mike fails. Today too, I had it in
mind to explain. . . about the religions and. . . the priests. . . .
I began with mandirs, mosques and churches, etc. but I
wanted to say something about the priests as I was in a good
mood but circumstances did not permit it. This also has a
purpose behind it! Whether I explain now or not, that which
is to happen must happen and will happen.
The next morning, February 28, before 7:00, Baba was on
206
the grounds of the Gurukul with some of the boys who stayed
there. Baba always loved children and soon He could be seen
playing with the boys. He looked so natural in their midst that
He seemed like a young boy Himself, albeit one with
exceptional grace.
All the boys gathered about Baba and He started asking them
questions about their lives in an informal way. Baba inquired
whether any of them could sing and then asked someone in the
group to sing a song. Baba listened appreciatively to the song,
the animated expression on His face rapidly reflecting
encouragement, enjoyment and praise.
With His soft, gentle eyes scanning the group, Baba gave an
impromptu message:
Be honest. Never tell lies; whatever happens, never tell
lies. I too was once like you, a young boy; now I am God. If
you love Me, you will advance spiritually in your journey to
God.
Respect your teachers; respect your principal; do your
studies. Attend to your studies, but every day, at least once,
remember Me. Then my nazar will be on you and I will
help you, but you must be honest.
Then Baba asked who would follow this exhortation and most
of the boys raised their hands. Baba looked pleased. Depending
on the circumstances, Baba could be disarmingly simple or
puzzlingly enigmatic, but in no case could He hide His
unconditional love. Baba now began throwing apples to the
boys, making a game out of it by looking one way and tossing
the apple in another.
Once a boy caught an apple, he was to step back and let others
have a chance. In this natural way, Baba focused the boys'
attention on Himself and enabled them to receive His prasad, a
taste of His presence, without any intellectual thoughts about its
significance.
Deshmukh, Gadekar and Madan Arora were called by Baba a
little before 7:30 for His farewell embrace since they all had to
return to their homes to resume their work. As always, such
occasions were bittersweet, but the sorrow of leaving was
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leavened with the happy memories of Baba's companionship

which each had just enjoyed. When one departed from Baba's
incomparable presence, the welling of tears and their gradual
disappearance as well, fueled one's longing to see Him and be
with Him again, at the first opportunity.
Gadekar, who was very sensitive, was smiling grimly in an
effort to hold back his tears. Each time Baba turned His
attention to him, Gadekar's smile widened while his unshed
tears mounted higher. Baba's delicate long hands were, at last,
held out to each to embrace them and with His touch, each burst
into tears.
Sad, yet happy, Gadekar, Deshmukh and Madan prepared to
leave for the railway station, already looking forward to their
next chance to be with their Beloved Baba. Incidentally, with
Madan's departure for Delhi, the filming of Baba's Andhra visit
concluded.
A little while later, Baba's local host, T. Bullaiah came to
inform Baba that the wife of the President of the Gurukul
earnestly wished to see Baba but, being ill, could not come; she
asked for Baba's blessings. Baba replied:
Unless one loses one's self in the Beloved, one cannot be
said to be a true devotee. In loving God there can be no
compromise. One of God's aspects is infinite honesty and
unless we love God honestly from the core of our heart, we
cannot find Him. Reading, theorizing, reasoning, thinking
leads us nowhere. Love. In love one loses everything and
finds oneself in God.
Turning to the others around Him, Baba concluded:
We have to "die" to "live" eternally. Anyway, I bless her.
Then a swami of the local Radha Krishna Ashram came to see
Baba. After the usual greetings, Baba shot a twinkling look in
the direction of the swami and, with a complete naturalness,
casually commented, "I am both Radha and Krishna," as if He
were saying no more than, "I am M. S. Irani." Yet the
implications of such a statement are quite profound. Was Baba
indirectly hinting that He is the Perfect Lover and the
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Perfect Beloved in One? The gravity and charm of Baba's

informal and simple statements are unfathomable.
A Timeless Love and a Limitless Mystery!
Before leaving for the railway station, Madan showed a film of
Meher Baba's public darshan given at Dehra Dun on November
1, 1953. This short, lively film was a sort of miniature version
of what was transpiring in Andhra: there were shots of Baba
enjoying the music His lovers provided; dictating messages on
His board; gracing the crowds with His smiles; graceful
gestures, charming facial expressions and meaningful glances
from His transcendental eyes; and above all one could get a
glimpse of Baba's sweet dispensation of His redeeming love.
As the Avatar's work is beyond the limitations of time, even
films taken of Him thirty years ago have a freshness and
immediacy to them. It appears from the films that Baba's main
concern for those who came for His darshan was the
quickening of their spirit, leading them onward through the
"high roads" in their journey to God. Those who watch the films
can also avail themselves of Baba's darshan even today.
After this enjoyable interlude, a little before 9:00, Baba's car
sped for Amalapuram. On the way, Baba stopped at
Dowleshwaram, at the house of N. Pillay, the superintendent
canal engineer. Pillay introduced a number of people to Baba,
including those working in his office. Baba then suggested that
Pillay should introduce his family members to Him. On learning
from Pillay that all his family was away and that he was alone,
Baba quipped, "I am eternally alone and remain alone eternally;
you are staying alone only temporarily!"
Near Baba's chair, Pillay had kept a slate and a slate pen (a
pencil made especially for writing on slate) so Baba could write
a message if He so wished; it seems he wasn't aware that Baba
had stopped writing since January 1, 1927. Baba, however, was
in a playful mood and, to the surprise of those watching, He
picked up the slate and pen and began playing
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cross and circle (tic-tac-toe) with one of His mandali. Before

leaving the house, Baba touched some fruit and gave
instructions to Pillay that it was to be distributed to the visitors
as His prasad.
Shortly after leaving the outskirts of the town, Baba gestured
that He was feeling hungry and so Dharma Rao stopped at a
small village. Meherjee Karkaria told Baba that they had some
cheese and biscuits with them, but Baba wanted rice and dal.
While this discussion was going on, the mandali's bus arrived
and Meherjee went and told Chhagan of Baba's wish. Chhagan
immediately got the kerosene stove out of the bus and began
warming up some dal which he had with him, but he had no
cooked rice. Baba repeated His wish for rice so the mandali
began asking for it at some places in the village but they could
not get it anywhere. Finally, Baba instructed Dharma Rao to
proceed to the next village, Bobbarlanka.
Chhagan hurriedly had to pack all his cooking equipment
back into the bus and once again they were off. At Bobbarlanka
the mandali tried again to get some cooked rice, but as it was
much before the usual lunch hour, no one had any ready. Some
of the local Andhra organizers sent a jeep ahead to the next
town, Kottapeta, with instructions to a Baba lover that food
should be prepared for Baba, but that people in general should
not be informed of Baba's brief halt there.
Meanwhile, K. Sastri happened to spot a woman, some
distance away, outside a small thatched hut. She was pouring
out the extra water from the rice she had just cooked in a small
earthen pot for her son who was working in a field. Sastri went
to her and noticed that she was wearing a crucifix around her
neck. So he said to her, "Sister, Christ has come again!" The
woman looked startled and Sastri continued, "He is sitting in a
car on the road and He wants some rice. It is your great good
fortune to be able to offer your rice to the Son of God Himself!"
The woman was unconvinced and replied skeptically, "When
Jesus comes again, it will mean the Day of Judgment; He won't
want to have anything to do with my cooked rice!" An
intelligent woman indeed! But Sastri persisted that Baba was
the Christ come again, and that He did, in fact, want her rice.
210
Finally, although still dubious about the whole thing, the

woman allowed herself to be led to Baba's car. Perhaps part of
her reluctance was her shyness to offer such a simple rustic
meal to One who might be the Christ!
Baba was sitting in the front seat of the car with a serious look
on His face. He had one foot propped up against the dashboard.
The door of the car was open and some people approached for
Baba's darshan, but Baba seemed withdrawn, in a pensive
mood and it was obvious that He did not want to meet others
just then. Perhaps He was absorbed in some special spiritual
work. So people stood around the car, watching Baba with
reverence and awe.
When Sastri came with the old woman, Baba snapped out of
His "working" mood and was His usual lively self. The mandali
took the pot of rice and mixed some of the dal with it and gave
it to Baba to eat. Baba only took a morsel or two and then gave
the rest to the woman as His love-gift. Baba also embraced the
old woman with love and gestured (touching the tip of His
middle finger to His forehead) that she was very fortunate to
have been able to offer Him food and that she had been really
blessed.
Baba's touch affected the woman and she wept with
overwhelming joy. Perhaps she had earnestly been longing to
meet her beloved Jesus for lifetimes and so the Ancient One,
hearing the cry of her heart, had purposefully come that way
and, under the pretext of being hungry, fulfilled her wish.
In recent years, quite a few in the West who love Jesus have
marvelously recognized in Baba the "second coming of Christ."
Meher Baba, as the God-Man, the Avatar, lives a life of
timeless love—a life of limitless mystery.
"Drink Coconut Water to Your Hearts' Content!"
The Avatar has numerous moods depending on His inner
spiritual work. He is not just peaceful, for He has in Him
restlessness, fun and fire too. At times He is like a soft cooling
breeze, but on rare occasions He can be a mighty hurricane.
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During Baba's journey from Dowleshwaram to Amalapuram,

His lovers in Andhra had a glimpse of some of these changing
moods.
While leaving Bobbarlanka, Baba instructed Dharma Rao,
who was driving the car, to go straight to Amalapuram so He
could have lunch there, despite His previous agreement that the
Andhra lovers could organize a quiet peaceful meal for Him at
Kottapeta.
When the car reached Kottapeta, there was a crowd on the
road which forced the car to stop. They clustered around the car,
pleading with Baba to stop so they could serve the mandali with
refreshing coconut water.
Baba seemed annoyed at this request and did not respond.
Eruch intervened and reminded Baba that He had, in fact,
agreed to this proposal while at Rajahmundry. Thereupon Baba
gestured that the Kottapeta lovers could serve the mandali
coconut water and instructed Dharma Rao to drive to
Amalapuram as He was feeling very hungry.
Baba's car started again, but almost immediately, two people
carrying trays of food appeared and started running after Baba's
car. One of the local hosts, at K. Sastri's beckoning, tried to get
into the car and Baba ordered it stopped.
This food had been prepared with Baba's tacit consent but as
He had expressed the desire to have His meals in a quiet place,
without any crowds or fuss, He was not pleased at the way
things had been handled.
At around this same time, the bus carrying the mandali
arrived in town and was stopped by the crowd of enthusiastic
Baba lovers. They informed those on the bus that Baba had
given His permission for them to serve the mandali with
coconut water. This put Pendu, the controller of movements, in
a bit of a dilemma. Baba had previously told him to have the
bus follow His car and not to stop for anything, anywhere. Now
Pendu was being told that Baba had given His permission for
the bus to stop, but he hadn't had this instruction directly from
Baba. Luckily, Pendu spotted Baba's car stopped at a distance
further down the road, so he ran up to it to ask Baba what he
should do.
212
There were many people surrounding the car and much

confusion. On top of this, Baba seemed to be in a distant and
uncommunicative mood and Pendu could not get any answer to
his questions. In Gujarati, Eruch informed Pendu that Baba had
not been in a mood to reply readily to anything since that
morning.
Hearing this, Baba, to Eruch's surprise, got down from the car
and walked over to a nearby house and sat on the verandah
remarking, "I am feeling hungry and you mandali are after
coconut water! I gave orders that we should go straight to
Amalapuram but no one obeys. Now you can all drink coconut
water to your hearts' content." Looking at Pendu, Baba added,
"In fact, I order every one of you to drink the water from four
coconuts!"
Pendu knew that Baba was displeased at his question so he
stood there silently but Baba repeated, "Go on, hurry. Ask the
hosts to give four coconuts to every member of the mandali so
that the hosts will feel satisfied and everyone from the mandali
will also be satisfied!"
Pendu had no choice but to return and inform all of Baba's
order. Meanwhile, Baba turned to Eruch and took him to task
for his part in allowing Baba's journey to Amalapuram to be
interrupted. "Why was it necessary for you to remind Me that I
had agreed to let the people here serve the mandali coconuts
when you knew that My most recent order was that we should
go straight to Amalapuram?" Eruch kept quiet.
Most of the Andhra lovers had never seen Baba in such a
mood before and didn't know what to make of it. The mandali,
who had been with Baba for years, had the conviction that there
was some deep meaning in Baba's every action or order. So they
accepted all He "said or did" in a spirit of surrender to His will.
But those who were new or had preconceived notions about
what or how the Avatar should behave, found it hard to
understand Baba's giving conflicting orders, or reprimanding
the mandali for no fault of their own. They were stunned and
stood by silently.
Soon Pendu returned and informed Baba that it would take a
very long time for everyone to drink the water of four coconuts,
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at which point, Baba simply ordered everyone to get back in the

vehicles and leave for Amalapuram. Baba then turned to
Dharma Rao and ordered him to drive as fast as possible. Yet,
before reaching there, Baba had Dharma Rao stop and called the
mandali and the others to Him. Perhaps, knowing the confusion
His behavior had caused in the minds of some of His Andhra
lovers, Baba explained:
Today Baba got up and left His room very early in the
morning. After a long time, He felt hungry, but He couldn't
get anything to eat. A jeep was sent ahead to arrange for My
meal at Kottapeta and to see that there was no crowd. But
what happened at Kottapeta was just the opposite of what I
expected and I could not take My meal there as planned.
Now, let us go to Amalapuram.
But only five or ten minutes later, a little before noon, Baba
again had Dharma Rao stop and the others gathered around.
Baba gestured to Dharma Rao that he should tell everyone what
had happened during that brief stretch. Dharma Rao explained
that while driving faster than usual (because Baba was in such a
hurry) he had somehow dozed off. The car began to swerve off
the road and would have plunged into the canal which ran
parallel to it, except for Baba's quickly grabbing his hand and
pulling the steering wheel in the opposite direction.
Some in the car seemed shaken by their narrow escape. Baba,
on the other hand, seemed exhilarated by it. His earlier mood of
displeasure was gone and with His usual good humor, Baba
joked that the narrowly averted accident had served the purpose
of ensuring that Dharma Rao became wide awake. Baba
continued that now all the occupants of the car were also wide
awake and His appetite, which had been spoiled by the episode
at Kottapeta had also now returned. Baba concluded that now
they should proceed to Amalapuram and, turning to Sastri,
ordered him to be sure that a good meal was served as soon as
they got there.
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"Religion" of the Ancient One: Love God

Before Baba could reach Amalapuram, there was one more
brief stop, this time at the village of Pulletikur where people had
gathered for Baba's darshan on the road, blocking Baba's car.
After pacifying the yearning in their hearts for His sight, Baba
and all proceeded and we finally arrived at Amalapuram at
around 12:30 P.M. Baba was escorted to the Sri Konaseema
Cooperative Bank building where His host, Kala Venkatarao,
had arranged for Him to stay on the first floor.
The mandali were temporarily put up in a big hall on the
ground floor of the building, but that evening they moved to a
nearby choultry. At last, Baba got His meal, lovingly served by
K. Venkatarao who then sat at the bottom of the stairs leading
up to Baba's door so that none could disturb Him and Baba
could have His lunch without interruption.
Baba came downstairs to join the mandali that afternoon and
then walked across the garden attached to the bank building to
the house of the bank's night watchman. He sat there on the
verandah for a few minutes and then returned to the main hall
where the mandali were.
K. Sastri mentioned the work done by K. Venkatarao in aiding
the victims of the floods in Andhra the previous year. Baba
looked at Venkatarao with His glowing eyes and conveyed the
following for the benefit of all:
Love for God can be expressed in so many ways because
God has infinite aspects. The three aspects of power,
knowledge and bliss are well known, but infinite honesty
and infinite goodness are also His aspects, and goodness
means there is no thought of self.
When you serve your fellow beings with selflessness, you
serve God, but this word "selflessness" is used so loosely
that it has lost its meaning. Selfless service has to be so
natural that even the thought that you have served should be
absent. . . .
Honesty demands that no show and no fuss be made of
your service and that you treat others as you treat your
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own dear ones.

As Baba concluded this message, He caught Dharma Rao
taking a nap and, with His eyes twinkling in merriment, He
remarked, "This morning he dozed while driving and almost put
us in the canal. And now he's dozing off again!" Poor Dharma
Rao had been driving Baba ever since His arrival in Andhra.
This meant not only staying awake for hours at a stretch, but
also being alert as well while driving on country roads, late at
night without proper lighting. It was a demanding task. No
wonder Dharma Rao found it difficult to stay awake.
Baba continued, "The only thing I did not lose when I found
myself one with God was My sense of humor. So, though only a
few can fathom My Divinity, at least everyone can easily
understand My being human." This divine quality of perfect
humanity enabled all sorts of people with varied interests,
temperaments and idiosyncrasies to feel perfectly at ease in
Baba's company, and His sense of humor enabled Him to enjoy
the quirks of those about Him.
A number of people were introduced to Baba while He sat
there and even more crowded outside the bank and peeped in
through the windows and doors. One of the mandali asked Baba
about the message to be read out at the darshan program which
was scheduled to be held shortly and Baba replied, "More
important than My receiving addresses and giving messages is
My contact with the people through My prasad." On another
occasion Baba stated that His act of offering prasad to someone
established a direct link with that person. He once referred to
prasad as His "life-line" to the individual receiving it.
Soon after this, all left for the Board High School where the
public program had been arranged. V.V. Narayana Rao received
Baba on the dais. Baba spelled out on His board: "First, as is my
custom during this tour, I will sit on the ground on your level to
help you feel that I am one of you." After sitting on the ground
briefly, with hands folded to the crowd, Baba returned to His
seat on the dais and His arti was
216
performed.
Baba looked out at the crowd sitting before Him and
stretching out even beyond the limits of the pandal. His eyes
seemed to radiate pure love. Although some could not see Baba
properly, their hearts could feel His love. Periodically the
Avatar descends and, as the God-Man, mingles with the
multitudes. When He is physically present, few understand
Him. It is through His acts of matchless humility and His words
of divine authority that He proclaims Himself as the Avatar. At
Amalapuram, Baba gave one of His most sublime and salient
messages:
I belong to no religion. Every religion belongs to Me. My
personal religion is My being the Ancient Infinite One, and
the religion I impart to all is Love for God, which is the
Truth of all religions.
This Love can belong to all, high and low, rich and poor.
Every one of every caste and creed can love God. The one
and only God who resides equally in us all is approachable
by each one of us through love.
Then the three special messages were read out in Telugu.
After this, Baba conveyed:
. . . For the common man the most practical way of loving
God is to help others lovingly. God is in every one, so if you
try to love others, help others, make others happy, you are
loving God. Even attending to your everyday duties, you
can still love God. If at least some of you try to love God,
then My coming here will have served its purpose.
For the next hour and a half, Baba distributed prasad to the
thousands who had gathered. The crowd was estimated to be at
least 7,000 and Baba was not able to give prasad to everyone in
person.
Baba Remembers Gandhi's Meeting with Him
On arriving back at the bank building, Baba commented that
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KOVVUR TO KOTTAPETA
even though He was very quick and was energy personified, it

just hadn't been possible for Him to give prasad to all who had
come. Turning to K. Sastri, Baba added, "This is my last visit to
Andhra in this life. No more programs except for the one at
Ahmednagar on the 21st of March. Then My real program
begins, not what you see now; it will be different when I break
My silence."
Somehow this remark reminded Baba of His conversation
with Mahatma Gandhi aboard the Rajputana when they both
sailed for England in 1931. Baba recalled:
Gandhiji used to come to see Me at night and I would
explain spiritual themes to him from the board for two or
three hours each night. On his third and last visit to Me,
Gandhiji said in Gujarati, "Baba, have zulm thaeo, have
tame jaldi bolo, ane dunia ne tamaro sundesh apo." [This
means, "Baba, now enough of this tyranny! Please break
your silence quickly and let the world have your message!] I
answered him, "I will break my silence soon." Twenty-three
years have passed since that soon was spelled on the board.
But now when I say, soon, it really means soon. And really
means really!
Baba smiled. Referring to Gandhi again, Baba gestured,
"Gandhiji was a jewel of a soul."
In the general conversation that followed, Baba hinted that it
would be good if all His mandali, lovers, devotees and workers
in Andhra stayed awake the next night, the night of March 1. He
also added that the workers' meeting, to be held on the 2nd,
could then be taken up that night instead. Baba continued that
He wouldn't mind in the least keeping awake Himself if it were
possible to arrange a qawwal's program. If not, Baba
commented, He would hear His own qawwali in His room.
At one point Baba turned to His host and conveyed, "I
sometimes humor people for My work, but I am not humoring
you when I say that I really like you! I am happy."
At 6:00 that evening, Baba told the mandali to retire early and
be present at His residence in the bank the next morning
218
at 7:00 sharp. Baba was sending all to bed early because the
next night, March 1, He had asked them all to stay awake the
whole night. But the mandali, for the most part, were only too
happy to retire early that evening. The long journeys, the frantic
pace, the nights without sleep had taken their toll. Baba's
presence was a force which sustained us, but now that we were
back in the choultry, exhaustion seemed to overcome us.
Francis Brabazon, in a way which was typical of him in the
early days, announced, "Immediate food, and then immediate
rest is my immediate requirement."
She Internally Challenged Baba
Across from the bank was K. Venkatarao's house. He was an
old freedom fighter and the ex-general secretary of the all-India
Congress Committee, also the ex-minister of Madras
(Tamilnadu) State. His career as a minister was very brilliant
and he was honored by the people and the press alike. His love
for Baba was touching to behold. Although a man of some
prominence in his own right, he was completely unaffected and
simple in his love for Baba. Wherever Baba went, he could be
seen humbly walking behind Him.
He considered himself blessed indeed to be able to play the
host to Baba at Amalapuram, but his wife felt differently. She
was a devout follower of Krishna as the only Avatar. When her
husband tried to encourage her to take some interest in Baba's
visit, she humbly said, "You follow whom you want and please
allow me to go my own way."
That afternoon she had not attended the darshan program and
generally took no part in the Baba activities. She was content in
her devotion to Krishna. Each day, early in the morning, she
would get up, have her bath, say her prayers and read the
Bhagavad Gita. Although she expressed no interest in Baba,
inwardly she could not completely ignore Baba's claim to be the
Avatar which her husband had accepted. So she internally
challenged Baba: "If you are really God, visit my house and
give me darshan."
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KOVVUR TO KOTTAPETA
Knowing his wife's views (but not her inner challenge)

Venkatarao had not brought Baba to their house on February 28.
That evening, at 6:00, Baba sent all back to their residences and
Venkatarao and his wife both went to bed early. The next
morning, as usual, the wife arose well before dawn and after her
customary ablutions and prayers, began reading the Bhagavad
Gita in her puja room. She was reading for a while when she
suddenly felt someone standing behind her. She turned and
beheld Meher Baba, who was silently watching her, with a
gentle smile on His face.
Inwardly she heard Baba's voice proclaim, "The One you have
been reading about all along is Me. I am Krishna." And there
was such unarguable divinity about Baba's silent presence that
she fell at His feet in a confused tangle of emotions—ashamed
of her former denial, wanting Baba's forgiveness, and
overwhelmed at her great good fortune to have God in human
form before her.
With a mischievous sparkle in His eye, Baba comforted her,
patted her and intuitively conveyed, "Don't tell anyone of my
visit here. Don't even tell your husband!" And then Baba went
away or disappeared as quietly as He had come. Indeed, a
marvelous encounter!
Some hours later, at 7:00, as Baba had instructed, all
assembled at the bank building. Baba again raised the
possibility of having the workers' meeting take place that night,
March 1, instead of during the next day on the 2nd. Baba asked
K. Sastri whether this change could be made and then,
emphasizing the importance of the meeting, added:
I want work. And work must be done with 100% honesty
or stopped. I can do My work by Myself. But if possible all
workers, small and big, should attend the meeting. I will
thrash out every point on how to work for Me because I
don't want just these mass darshans and other programs. If
workers love Me but do not work with 100% honesty, then
they are not wanted.
If it is possible, then arrange the meeting for tonight. If
not, then for tomorrow morning. If all cannot come
220
tonight, then tomorrow they must come. I say all this

because I won't come here [Andhra] again in this body.
At Hamirpur I had a discussion with My workers, and
here too I want you to know about My work because I love
Andhra. Why I love Andhra you will not understand! Work
done honestly is the real work. I have been doing My work
by Myself eternally, since eternity.
KDRM assured Baba that they would make the arrangements
so that the meeting could be held that night. They then left to
send telegrams to all the workers informing them of this change
in the time of the workers' meeting.
Baba turned to S. Pamulu, a government official, and told
him, "Work for Me wholeheartedly. Tell people about Baba's
love. If you work for the people wholeheartedly, you work for
Me." After this, Baba began a series of house visits, first going
to Pamulu's house.
Next Baba went to Venkatarao's house. There his wife came
forward with some sweets for Baba. As if totally unaware of
what had transpired a few hours earlier, Baba looked surprised
and, addressing Venkatarao, gestured, "What is this? Yesterday
your wife didn't even attend the programs and today she's
bringing Me sweets! Has something happened?" Venkatarao
was at a loss to explain this sudden change in his wife's
behavior and didn't know what to say.
Venkatarao's wife, meanwhile, reverently presented the
sweets to Baba. The warmth of Baba's presence filled her heart
with love and tears began rolling down her cheeks—the tears of
love and remorse that cleanse the soul of all doubts. "Baba," she
sweetly said, "You are Krishna; forgive my ignorance."
Still expressing surprise, Baba asked, "How do you know
that? What has happened?"
"Baba, you have asked me not to tell anyone," she replied,
"but now that You are asking me, I feel I can say." And then she
proceeded to recount her experience that morning. Her obvious
sincerity and devotion to Baba touched all who heard her heart-
aching, heart-waking, love-making account. Baba
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KOVVUR TO KOTTAPETA
looked delighted as if this was all news to Him.

After this, Baba visited several other homes, including once
again the home of a very poor man. Baba's visits for the most
part were very quick and within a half hour they were over and
we all got on the buses and into the jeeps and followed Baba's
car to Razole.
The Smiling Beloved and the Weeping Dagger
After journeying for about an hour or so, but before reaching
Razole, Baba had His car stop by the roadside. Soon the bus
carrying the mandali pulled up behind. Baba's car would always
be in the lead, but often while traveling with a large group on
tour, Baba would have His car stopped and would wait for His
dear ones. When they arrived, Baba would chat with them
informally for a while before getting back in His car and
resuming the journey.
On this occasion, the sunny and breezy morning of March 1,
as the mandali gathered around Him, Baba had an intriguingly
humorous expression on His face and all became eager to know
what was up. Baba pulled out His board and with accompanying
gestures related:
Last night was a funny night for Me. It was quiet all
around but a mad person had the whim to howl, practically
without a break, throughout the night. You know well that
tonight I have to remain awake for the whole time during
the workers' meeting. So, yesterday I especially wanted to
go to bed early but I could not sleep, even for a short while.
I wondered what sort of madness possessed that lunatic
which did not allow Me even a moment's respite or rest.
Baba was standing under a tree while Kumar, alert to his duty,
stood nearby with an umbrella in his hand. Baba asked him,
"Why should such a thing happen?"
Kumar promptly replied, "Because you wanted it that way."
This was another way of saying that nothing happens unless
222
Baba wills it.

Baba appeared pleased with Kumar's ready reply and, with a
serious air about Him, gestured, "It must be so!"
Then, turning to others and pointing at Kumar, Baba added,
"This man does not want to understand who is God or what is a
Perfect Master, but he loves Me, knows how to obey Me well,
and also to say the right thing at the right time." Kumar shyly
looked at Baba, a little embarrassed at the fulsomeness of
Baba's praise; the rest of the mandali smiled in appreciation of
Kumar's qualities, as well as his being put on the spot!
Baba then turned His gaze on Pukar and gestured, "Why are
you looking like a dry fish [depressed]? You have a good loving
wife. Soon you will have a child and become a father! Look
cheerful." In fact, Baba was teasing Pukar who had never
wanted to marry. It had been his wish to dedicate his life
entirely to Baba.
Pukar's mother, however, had entreated Baba to order her son
to get married. Baba, for reasons known only to Him, complied
with her request and Pukar obediently submitted to Baba's wish.
As Pukar was one of my closest friends, I knew that he was the
last person in the world who looked forward to raising children
and living the life of a householder.
During Baba's visit to Hamirpur District two weeks earlier,
Baba had inaugurated Pukar's flour mill to help him earn his
livelihood. Actually, it was Pukar's mother who mainly
conducted the business. With reference to Pukar's mill, Baba
looked at him pointedly and remarked, "Now, I intend to grind
you in My mill and you should be happy about that." Pukar
stood there with his hands folded across his chest and looked
solemn, saying nothing.
Baba then referred to an Urdu couplet which, when freely
translated, means, "When a lover offers himself as a sacrifice to
the Divine Beloved, the Beloved laughs but the dagger that He
holds in His hands begins to weep!" Baba added, "That is why
the Beloved is also known as Katil, the Executioner."
It is not easy to express the depth of the relationship
symbolically expressed in this cryptic couplet, with its enig-
matic
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KOVVUR TO KOTTAPETA
image of the smiling Beloved and the weeping dagger. For a

while all those standing around Baba fell silent. Then Baba
quickly walked to His car. This was the signal for the rest of us
to snap out of the serious mood Baba's words had produced and
to hurry toward our bus so we could keep up with Baba's car.
In a Coconut Grove
Part of the drive that morning was on a canal road and the green
fields shimmering in the sun with swaying palms scattered here
and there presented us with quite a pleasant view. A little before
9:00 Baba reached Razole and was led straight to the place
where the darshan program was to be held. This was in a small
grove surrounded by coconut trees. A small pandal had been
erected in the grove with two huge banana trees, their long
leaves sparkling, on either side of the dais.
Once again, Baba first sat on the ground with the people
before taking His seat on the dais. Perhaps this oft repeated
gesture was symbolic of the Avatar's divine dispensation of
Grace on the human level.
After garlanding Baba, His messages were read out in Telugu
and then arti was performed. Due to a lack of time, Baba could
not distribute prasad, but He touched the sweets and fruits that
were there and instructed them to be passed out later to all who
had gathered. The program had been well organized and went
smoothly. Within an hour Baba was on His way again.
Now we were heading for Kottapeta, but on the way Baba
asked Dharma Rao to stop. Baba got down from the car and
walked into a nearby coconut grove. All of us on the bus
followed Him. Baba then called each of us to Him, patting us on
the back and asking after our health. Those who were not
feeling well were asked to stand apart. Then Baba called the
doctors, Nilu and Kanakadandi, and pointing at all the
"patients," Baba specifically asked the latter to administer
medicine to all of them so they would be fit for the workers'
meeting. Kanakadandi put his medical chest on the ground
224
and bowed very reverentially to Baba, saying, "Baba, only with

Your grace will that be possible. Please help me."
Leaving the doctor to his ministrations, Baba walked off alone
into the interior of the grove, signaling that the rest of us should
not follow Him. Baba sat for a while and then we heard three
claps. One of the mandali, I don't recall which one, came and
told us that Baba now wanted all to come. When we had
gathered around, Baba conveyed, "This place is connected with
My earlier advent as Rama. The owner of this grove is very
fortunate."
During Baba's tour of the Hamirpur District, He had made a
similar comment about one of the villages visited. Perhaps this
age-old connection with the Avatar, as Rama, and Baba's
subsequent visits, explains why there are so many Baba lovers
in Hamirpur and Andhra.
It is hard to capture in words the feeling that was evoked
whenever Baba, in passing, referred to His previous
incarnations. Somehow such casual references seemed to make
His timeless divinity more palpable. Hearing Baba's comment
about that particular coconut grove, some of the Andhra lovers
went out to find the owner of the grove to share with him the
exciting news. Soon this man appeared on the scene, shedding
tears of joy over his good fortune to have Rama come again in
the form of Meher Baba sitting in his grove.
With folded hands and with obvious emotion he said to Baba,
"I have nothing to offer you except some coconuts, but I would
feel myself blessed if you and your people accept them." Baba
smiled and instructed those present that they should all have one
coconut each. The owner was delighted with this and
immediately set to providing us with the coconuts and we all
enjoyed the treat. The fresh tender coconuts were made even
more enjoyable by the fact that we consumed them in Baba's
presence.
During Baba's Andhra tour, various people, like the man with
the bananas who met Baba at the crossroad, or the Christian
woman who gave Baba rice, or the owner of this coconut grove,
seemed to have the good fortune of having the Avatar's darshan
entirely by coincidence. And, as far as others could
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KOVVUR TO KOTTAPETA
ascertain, these "chance" encounters did not make these people

Baba lovers. But perhaps these people are like asteroids whose
paths have temporarily, and quite unexpectedly, brought them
into proximity to the sun. Even though they soon go off in
another direction, that brief encounter is enough to permanently
change their orbits and eventually they will begin to revolve
around the Sun, the Avatar, seeking only His pleasure. Or to put
it a totally different way:
Not only the thirsty seek Water (the God-Man)
But the Water Itself seeks the thirsty!
Four Journeys of a Perfect Master
While standing in the grove, Baba signaled that we should
resume the journey, so we all headed back to our bus. As Baba
got into His car, He ordered Dharma Rao to drive quickly. It
was a little after 11:00 that morning when we reached
Kottapeta. There was a large crowd waiting for Baba and His
car slowly passed between those clustered on each side of the
road to greet the Avatar. Eventually the car made it to the
grounds of the Board High School where Baba was to be
accommodated. A group of Boy Scouts had lined up outside the
building to salute Baba. Then the headmaster and the staff of
the school were introduced to Baba, as well as the local Baba
lovers.
When informed that a hot meal was ready for all, Baba
instructed the mandali that they should go quickly, eat their
lunch leisurely but then return immediately, without taking any
rest. Although Baba had refused to eat at Kottapeta the day
before, this time He blessed His host by happily accepting the
food offered.
By 1:00, after having our meal, we had all reassembled in a
big hall in the main school building. Baba was already there
when we arrived, conversing with some of His Andhra workers.
When we all had taken our seats, Baba turned to Pukar and
gestured, "Sing a song that will either keep everyone wide
awake, in spite of the heavy meal, or which will help
226
all to fall sound asleep!"

Pukar, who had not completely recovered from Baba's remark
about grinding him in His mill of love, poured out his heart in a
Hindi song. Although Pukar's voice was hoarse and he was not
known for his singing, his obedience seemed to please Baba.
Others were also touched by Pukar's love for the Beloved . . .
the Executioner!
Baba then asked some others who were not particularly good
singers to sing some songs. At the end of this non-singer's
singing session, Baba unexpectedly brought up the previous
night's incident at Amalapuram. He added that the madman's
howling reminded Him of His earlier promise to the mandali to
clarify some points concerning the different states of fana and
baqa. What connection the former had with the latter was
beyond our ability to guess, but obviously Baba knew and, at
any rate, it prompted Baba to give the following discourse:
In Sufi parlance, the term fana means "passing-away-in,"
and baqa means "abiding-in." Fana-fillah is the Goal where
the "I am God" state is experienced. Baqa-billah is abiding
in God as God.
The final or real fana has two stages in one, like the two
sides of a coin. The first stage of the final fana is the
absolute vacuum state where mind, energy, body, universes
and "I" [individuality] completely vanish; only conscious-
ness remains experiencing absolute vacuum—the "limited I"
is annihilated totally.
The first stage of the final fana, however, is immediately
followed by the second stage where the "limited I" is
replaced by the "unlimited divine I" and the "I am God"
state is experienced. This is the Goal, but not "Perfection."
A very few souls, however, come down to ordinary human
consciousness retaining the "I am God" state. This is baqa-
billah. These souls not only experience God's knowledge,
God's power and God's bliss, but are also aware of the three
worlds—gross, subtle and mental. As for the two stages of
the final fana, the second immediately follows the first. For
example, in the sound sleep of an
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KOVVUR TO KOTTAPETA
ordinary individual, consciousness of mind, energy, and

body is not there. But as soon as one wakes up, one
becomes conscious of one's body, energy, and mind and
asserts one's limited individuality ["I"] which is baqa of the
gross world.
Nirvana is where apparently "God-is-not." This is the first
stage of the real fana, which Buddha emphasized. And this
was later misconstrued as Buddha having declared "There is
no God." The fact is that even in nirvana "God is" but in
that state, consciousness only experiences the absolute
vacuum of God. [Nirvana is the total drowning of limited
individuality, for all times, in the Ocean of Infinite
Consciousness.]
To sum up, Baba concluded:
There are four journeys. The first journey ends in fana-
fillah. The second journey ends in baqa-billah. The third
journey ends in Qutubiat. This is a state where the Qutub
leads the life of God. He not only abides in God, but lives
the life of man and God simultaneously. He is known as the
Perfect Master [Man-God]. The fourth journey ends with the
dropping of the gross body by the Perfect Master—the
passing away [of the Man-God] as God in God.
At the end of the fourth journey, the second stage of the
final fana is continuously and everlastingly experienced by
each Perfect Master and the infinite Individuality is retained
eternally.
In fact this discourse explained the states of the God-realized
ones. Therefore, the entire discourse didn't have much to do
with those present. But for us, just watching Baba's fingers
moving on the board, or His radiant face or captivating
expressions was most delightfully absorbing.
As Beloved Baba put His board on His lap, He pointed at
Meherjee who was not feeling well and hence was looking a bit
drowsy. With a knowing and jovial smile, Baba joked, "Among
all in the hall, Meherjee is the only one who is trying to
appreciate the vacuum state of nirvana by dozing off."
As usual, Baba's good-natured teasing of one of His close
228
ones lightened the atmosphere after the serious discussion.

Meherjee looked a little sheepish but then Baba smiled at him
with the sparkle of a mountain stream and any lingering feeling
of embarrassment was washed away.
Baba's discourse on fana and baqa was, in later years revised
and, along with a special chart which was prepared under
Baba's direction, given out again during the East-West
Gathering in November 1962 in Poona. The chart was labeled
"The Four Journeys." At that time, Baba added:
In Avataric periods, one does not have to necessarily make
these inward journeys by stages. If you have the grace of the
Avatar, He just takes you from where you are to where you
should be, where God wants you to be. There's no need for
trains or planes when He is here. 32
As Baba had not given this information in the Discourses,
published earlier, a brief article was authored by Him and was
later published in one of His books, The Everything and The
Nothing. Therein, after explaining the seven planes of
consciousness and the three worlds, the article ended up with
the following lines:
In reality, these Four Journeys are never journeyed, for
God has nowhere to journey. He is without beginning and
without end. And everything which has the appearance of
being, appeared from That which has no beginning and
passes back in [to] That which has no ending. 33
Accident to the Jeep
As Baba finished His discourse on the "Four Journeys,"
someone brought the news that KDRM had had an accident.
The four had stayed behind at Amalapuram to send telegrams to
all Baba workers in Andhra, informing them of the change in
the date of the workers' meeting, from the 2nd to the night of
March 1.
After sending the telegrams, Dhanapathi, K. Sastri and
32
The Awakener, Vol. IX, Nos. 1-2, p. 27.
33
The Everything and The Nothing, p. 26.
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KOVVUR TO KOTTAPETA
Ranga Rao got into a jeep and began the drive to rejoin Baba at
Kottapeta. On the way their vehicle had gone off the road. Not
long after someone brought this news, the three members of
KDRM appeared in the hall. Dr. Dhanapathi's hand was
bandaged but subsequent inquiries revealed that none was
seriously injured.
Apparently they had been in the jeep when a cyclist
approached them, riding on the wrong side of the road. The jeep
swerved to avoid the cyclist and the driver lost control of the
vehicle and they went off the road and into a ditch where the
jeep turned over on its side. Fortunately, it was stopped by the
wall of an unoccupied house or it would have completely turned
over. As it was, all the occupants were thrown out of the car but
luckily none was badly hurt.
With the kindly help of some villagers the jeep was pushed
upright and back onto the road. Surprisingly, it started right up
and the only damage sustained was a broken windshield and
dented fenders. By chance, this accident occurred not far from
where the previous day Baba's car had almost gone off the road
when Dharma Rao had dozed off for a few seconds.
Dhanapathi approached Baba. He seemed on the verge of
tears as he declared with deep adoration, "Oh Lord! You have
saved us from being killed. Your grace has protected us since
otherwise death was inevitable. This is Your miracle!"
Baba appeared surprised at this remark and responded, "I have
not yet performed a single miracle. What you say is news to
me!" Baba advised the three to calm down and be brave in their
love for Him. Then He told them to have a good lunch and be
ready to visit the National Club Building where the local
darshan program was to be held.
At 2:00 that afternoon, Baba and the mandali reached the club
building. As at other places, there was the reading of welcoming
addresses, Baba's messages in Telugu and His arti. Then Baba
had it announced that if everyone wanted prasad from His hand,
they should file by quickly and none should bow down to Him.
Baba emphasized that how many people received prasad
depended on how cooperative they were in complying with
these instructions.
230
Although there were over four thousand people present, the

crowd lovingly complied with Baba's instructions and Baba,
looking majestically beautiful, began distributing the prasad
with incredible rapidity yet gracefulness. During each darshan
program, Baba seemed to effortlessly radiate an atmosphere of
love which is impossible to describe adequately.
It was the warmth of this divine unconditional love which
captivated people in His presence. All eyes were glued to Baba
who, in turn, gazed out over the masses, occasionally seeming
to single out particular individuals for a glance of intimate love.
While giving out prasad, He patted the children who clung to
their mothers as they came forward in the darshan queue.
At 4:00, Baba raised His hands to bless the crowd and signal
that the distribution of prasad was now over. Baba walked to a
nearby compound and sat for a few minutes under a mango tree.
He did not return to the high school from there but, after a
while, got in His car and sped to Rajahmundry where the
momentous workers' meeting was to take place—one of the
unique gatherings in Meher Baba's life.
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MEHER BABA EXPLAINS "REAL WORK"
AT RAJAHMUNDRY
1954 - PART XI
Baba and His Workers Reach the Gurukul
Meher Baba had informed His Andhra workers to assemble at
Rajahmundry for the meeting to be held on the night of March
1. They started arriving as early as noon that day from different
parts of Andhra. Baba was not expected until 6:00, so they spent
the time happily sharing Meher-kathas (stories) of their lives
with Baba, the Divine Father. Some of the incidents related
were humorous, some profound, some trivial, some serious, but
all were equally appreciated because Baba's touch was in all and
it was that which made them significant.
Among the early arrivals was V. Rama Rao from Bilaspur. He
was standing on the playground of the Gurukul watching the
pupils engrossed in a game of kabaddi. It was late in the
afternoon but the sun was still bright and the boys were
glistening with sweat. As Rama Rao watched the boys, he
thought how wonderful it would be if Baba could see them for
he thought Baba would enjoy their vibrant high spirits and the
enthusiasm with which they played.
To Rama Rao's astonishment, just then Baba's car pulled into
the grounds and stopped. Baba got out and came over to where
the boys were. He sat on the ground with His back leaning
against the trunk of a tree close to the playing field. There were
shouts of "Avatar Meher Baba Ki Jai" from the Baba lovers and
the boys joined in, but when they showed signs of flocking
toward Him, with a gesture Baba indicated that they should go
on with their game which they did with renewed zest.
In 1922, when Baba was staying in the jhopri at Poona, He
used to play a game called hu-tu-tu, which is similar to kabaddi,
with His first group of disciples. Perhaps it was nostalgic
memories of those early days which prompted Baba
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MEHER BABA EXPALINS "REAL WORK" AT
RAJAHMUNDRY
to come watch the boys. But throughout His life, Baba enjoyed
all sorts of sports, both as a participant and as a spectator. He is
the real sportsman.
Some of the mandali were reminded of an incident which
occurred the previous year when, in March 1953, Baba was
traveling from Rishikesh to Hardwar. I was fortunate to be with
Baba and, as we were passing through a densely populated area
of a large village, Baba spotted a small group of children
playing marbles on the dirt road. Baba had the car stopped and
got out to watch. One of the mandali was able to get a chair for
Baba from a nearby house and Baba sat at the edge of the road,
absorbed in watching the contest.
Baba's appearance, at first, caused a bit of a stir, but as people
saw that He was only interested in watching the game, they
went about their business with just an occasional inquisitive
glance. The womenfolk peeked out through the windows but
then continued with their household chores. The children,
meanwhile, were so engrossed in their game that they paid
practically no attention to Baba. I had not seen Baba so
absorbed in watching a game before and all of the mandali
stood by silently so as not to disturb Him.
Baba's chair had been placed just in front of a two-story
house. The drainage pipe from the house was broken and, as
Baba was sitting there, dirty water splashed on the ground near
Him, but He didn't seem to be bothered by it. After a while,
Baba got up and walked quickly back to the car, and we
resumed our journey without a word being said about the
interruption.
Actually a fascinating account could be written just about
Baba's participation in various games during different phases of
His spiritual work, as well as the numerous cricket matches that
Baba attended while remaining incognito, but that is outside the
scope of this book.
At the kabaddi match, Baba sat and watched with great
interest while the handful of Baba lovers who were there took
delight in watching Baba. For them it was a divine privilege to
look at Baba, but they were careful not to disturb His enjoyment
of the game.
233
When it was over, Baba called the boys to Him and expressed
His appreciation of the skill and enthusiasm with which they
had played. Baba gave the boys His blessings and conveyed to
the few Baba lovers standing nearby, "Children are the epitome
of God; they are sweet, simple and playful. Child-like trust is
what any lover of God should aspire for." Baba seemed to enjoy
this brief unscheduled interlude. Perhaps it was a bit of
recreation for Him before the work of the workers' meeting to
be held later that same night.
The mandali's bus arrived at the Gurukul a little after 6:00
that evening. The entire premises were buzzing by then as many
groups from different places throughout Andhra had arrived to
attend the meeting. Many of the faces looked familiar as we had
seen them enthusiastically working during the various darshan
programs we had attended. They were walking about,
animatedly talking among themselves, their faces glowing in
excitement. Not knowing Telugu, I did not understand a word
of what they were saying, but I could see and feel the love for
Baba which sparkled in their eyes. If love has a language, it is
surely spoken, at least to some extent, through the eyes.
It was announced that Baba wanted all—mandali and
workers—in the meeting hall by 9:00 that night. Everyone was
expected to be there without fail. The aroma of the South Indian
food being prepared was in the air and it was not long before we
were called for supper. The food was delicious, as it had been
throughout the tour, but knowing that we had to keep awake
that entire night, we overcame the temptation to eat a full meal.
Introduction to "Real Work"
A little before 9:00, we started entering the big hall of the
Gurukul to take our seats. Some wanted to sit as close as
possible to Baba's chair, while some of the older people
preferred the seats near the walls where they could rest their
backs. Some sat with their groups and some went to join
234
RAJAHMUNDRY
particular friends.
Although the meeting was being held a day earlier than
originally scheduled, and people had only been informed of this
change at the last minute, still most of the workers in Andhra
had come. There were a few who received the cables late and
didn't manage to get there until midnight, but they had certainly
done their best to get there as fast as they possibly could. All
were taking this meeting very seriously. Most in the hall wore
typical Andhra dress—spotless white or yellow dhoti and shirt,
and a long scarf with many folds resting over their left shoulder.
Baba sat in the hall in a white muslin sadra, with a cream
colored silken coat and with His hair combed back, looking
magnificent and regal. He held His alphabet board on His lap
and occasionally tapped it with His long fingers. His eyes
seemed to radiate love and joy. Eruch and Adi sat close to His
chair while the rest of the mandali sat behind Baba's chair, but
ready in case He should need them for anything.
E. Bullaiah had kept hot coffee ready for the participants of
the meeting. At the beginning, Baba handed everyone present a
cup of coffee to help them keep awake and stay alert. Then,
before the meeting began in earnest, Baba glanced around the
room. The God-light in His eyes made all feel the warmth of
His presence. When everyone was seated, Baba's fingers moved
gracefully over the board and Eruch read out, "Tonight is a very
important night."
With this sentence a deep silence fell over the hall; all became
very attentive, concentrating completely on Baba. His gestures
and the words on the board were read out by Eruch. Although
the flow of Baba's "words" was interrupted often so that they
could be translated into Telugu, there was no break in the
intensity of the concentration of those listening.
What follows is my attempt to portray the general proceedings
of this momentous ineffable meeting. I have tried, with the help
of Kishan's diary, notes I compiled, and my personal memory as
well as ability to understand, to share Baba's message given that
night. Beloved Baba's words, with their charm, profundity and
humor reveal His mastery in
235
conducting this gathering, the first and last of its kind. Baba
continued:
Tonight is no political or social meeting. This meeting for
which I have asked you all to assemble here is for the
Divine Cause, and it reminds Me of My former meetings
during My previous incarnations. During those periods, the
circumstances were different, but since eternity the same
God-incarnate has been presiding over these meetings for
the same cause—the Divine Cause. It has never been truer
than in the spiritual cause that history repeats itself.
Even if this meeting takes all night to complete the work
at hand, I would not feel unhappy because this one night
would be worth thousands of nights if you all honestly act
up to what I want to emphasize tonight. The Apostles and
the Asahaabs [the close ones of the Prophet] who worked
for My cause did the work at the cost of everything, even at
the cost of life itself. So, listen very carefully and be very
attentive.
This is My last visit to Andhra in this incarnation for mass
darshan programs. The mass darshan programs in Uttar
Pradesh, Madhya Pradesh, Maharashtra and in Andhra have
been enough, and I tell you all with divine authority that the
welcome addresses you all have been presenting Me with,
and the messages that I have been giving you all, mean
nothing on the actual spiritual path. Just to chant My arti, to
perform My puja, to garland Me, to offer Me fruits and
sweets, and to bow down to Me—these acts in themselves
mean nothing.
It is a waste of money to buy garlands, fruits and sweets as
offerings to Me for the conventional puja, and a sheer waste
of breath and energy to merely chant My arti. What I want
from all My lovers is real, unadulterated love, and from My
genuine workers I expect real work done.
I also want to draw your attention to the fact that many
miracles experienced by My devotees and admirers, both in
the West and East, have been attributed to Me. But with
236
RAJAHMUNDRY
divine honesty, I tell you that in this incarnation, until now,
I have not consciously performed even a single miracle.
Whenever a miracle is attributed to Me, it is always news to
Me. What I want to emphasize is that by attributing such
miracles to Me, people cheapen and lower My status as the
Highest of the High.
But today, I do say this, that the moment I break My
silence and utter the original Word, the first and last miracle
of BABA will be performed. . . . When I perform that
miracle, I won't raise the dead, but I will make those who
live for the world dead to the world and live for God. I won't
give sight to the blind, but will make people blind to illusion
and help [make] them see God—the Reality.
Specific Conditions for "Working" in Baba's Cause
During the interval when Baba's words in English were being
translated into Telugu, He would sit quietly at ease in His chair.
Sometimes, He would raise His hands and, with His palms, run
His hands over His head, brushing His hair back. For a few
seconds this gesture would eclipse His beautiful face, but when
it reappeared, its expression would have changed marvelously.
The time taken for translation was a good opportunity to focus
one's attention on Baba's divine figure. I suspect that there were
some in the room who did not care very much what Baba
dictated on the board; they were happy just for this rare chance
to be in the immediate presence of the Avatar. But whether the
concentration was on Baba's words or His form, it was one-
pointedly on Him.
After the opening remarks were translated, Baba continued:
Now, without further introduction, let us switch to the
main points on My work and Baba's workers. Each and all
should listen very carefully. Those who have assembled
here have been called "workers" of Baba; therefore you
must first understand what My work is.
237
You Andhra workers, from all walks of life, have done

your best to make these mass darshan programs successful.
I know that you have tried to express your love for Me by
spreading My message. I am happy about that. I feel,
however, that something deep down is wrong. There are
bound to be differences of opinion among workers of any
cause, political, social or spiritual; that is natural. But these
very differences of opinion and feelings of competition and
jealousy lead to the breakdown of the very foundation of
work.
You have been called "Baba's workers." But is it neces-
sary for you all to work for Baba? If I am the Highest of the
High and God-incarnate, then where is the necessity for Me
to have workers, organizations and centers? If I am not the
Infinite One, but just one like you, then thousands of centers
and such programs would be of no avail. If I am Baba,
which definitely I am, can I not in My own silent way do the
Universal Work? Even if the whole world goes against Me
or worships Me, it is all the same to Me.
The reason why I call upon every individual to work for
Me is to make each one share the Divine Cause, and the
programs, such as mass darshans, are created just to give an
opportunity for the expression of individual and collective
love [which is for the good of those expressing it].
Therefore, if you are prepared to share My Universal Work
[which is to spread My message of Love] then it must be
done with 100% honesty.
First of all, bear in mind that you should not at all seek
appreciation from Me or from others. Though this sounds
easy, it is so difficult to put into practice. Remember this
much, that work in itself is its own appreciation. The
moment you seek appreciation, the work is undone.
Therefore, seek no appreciation for the work you do for Me.
Secondly, do not depend upon anyone or any outside help
in your work for Me. It is true that you are ready to work for
Me and for My cause 100%, but because some are poor and
have large families, they cannot devote any of their time and
means for My work. But then why work beyond
238
RAJAHMUNDRY
your means? The moment the worker depends upon anyone
or anything, the "real work" [which is total reliance on
Baba] is undone. Therefore, do as much as you can, but do it
honestly.
Thirdly, if money is collected for the work and spent
without being accounted for, then all work in the name of
the Divine Cause, must be stopped immediately by the so-
called workers. One pie [penny] raised in My name, without
true necessity, is dishonesty and will be the cause of
millions of re-births. So today, I want everyone of you to
pour out your hearts and decide once and for all either to
work or to stop the work for Me.
My dear friends! If you want to make people love Me,
show them that you really love Me. Don't merely make
them read My books and messages, but live such a life of
sacrifice that others may naturally begin to love Me.
Baba Confesses on Behalf of All
Baba briefly explained the formation of KDRM as He spelled
out, "Last time I visited Andhra, I appointed KDRM as the four
pillars of My work in Andhra." Looking at them Baba
continued, "I know each of you four loves Me with all your
heart and works for Me wholeheartedly. There is no doubt about
that. But if you each go your own way, how can you work
together? So first let us find out if these four can work together
as I want. So now, you four, pour out your hearts to Me
honestly, without any curtain over your feelings. This will make
Me say something really good for all. Don't look at each other
or fear each other."
Baba then turned to K. Sastri and asked him what he had to
say. Sastri replied that he had never complained about the other
three members of KDRM. Baba spelled out, "So, you are
absolutely satisfied with the arrangement of work between the
four of you?"
Sastri said that it was not a question of what he thought, but of
simply obeying Baba's orders. Although Baba had emphasized
239
that they should work in unison, in practice this was found

difficult due to the fact that they lived at different places, and
had different temperaments and styles of working, making
communication difficult among them. He also admitted that he
had reservations about the way that the others worked for Baba,
especially when it came to keeping proper accounts of all
financial transactions.
Baba then asked the other three members of KDRM what they
had to say. During the discussion that followed it became clear
that although each member was honestly trying his best to
further Baba's cause in Andhra, there was nonetheless a
seemingly unbridgeable gulf of opinion among them on how
this should be done. And, in their enthusiasm to work for Baba,
each resented any of the others trying to modify his own way of
working.
In addition to this, some of the other workers in Andhra
complained that important letters received from Baba by
KDRM and the replies sent by them to Him were not generally
shared. They protested that cooperation was not extended to the
different Baba centers and requests for help in spreading Baba's
message were ignored.
On top of this, the members of KDRM themselves expressed
their dissatisfaction at not being able to meet frequently to plan
their work. Baba, with a serious look, interjected:
I have not understood Myself what work you are doing! If
you are doing only propaganda for Me, it is absurd. I don't
want propaganda or any kind of false publicity. Never. I
want love and honesty. If you cannot do that, then stop what
you call work. I am quite capable of doing My Universal
Work. So, today I think we must try to stop the so-called
work.
At this point, Baba approached the subject from a different
angle, by bringing up the subject of His mandali:
I have often mentioned that I have not yet found one who
can love Me as I should be loved. Yet there are those who
have surrendered to Me in such a way that they will do
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RAJAHMUNDRY
anything I say. It is a fact. . . . Each of the mandali would give
their lives at My bidding.
What I am trying to explain is that to surrender to Me is
higher than to love Me. And, paradoxical as it may seem, to
love Me as I should be loved is impossible, but to obey Me,
though very difficult, is possible. So, to call yourselves My
workers and yet not obey Me is hypocritical.
It was now nearing midnight, but the discussion showed no
signs of lagging. In fact, Manik (Y. Manikyala Rao) became so
heated in his criticism of KDRM that even when Baba told him
to be quiet, he continued to express his grievances. Finally Baba
ordered Manik to leave the hall. Manik did so and stood outside
for a while.
Not long after this, Baba temporarily put a stop to the
discussion by announcing that He wished to ask God's
forgiveness for the weaknesses and failings of all. Baba
instructed the assembly to quickly wash their hands and faces
and then come back into the hall. Manik, whose hot temper had
cooled now, was also allowed to rejoin the group.
With great solemnity and earnestness, all the workers,
mandali, and Baba stood quietly as the Prayer of Repentance
was recited. Afterward, Baba had coffee served to all for the
second time. When all were seated, Baba turned to Manik and
remarked:
Your enthusiasm led you astray. I understand you want to
spread My name and you did it with the best of motives, but
not gracefully. You were not humble. Did you see how my
confessing tonight for the weaknesses of all was done? How
I became the confessor on behalf of you all?
Although I only may appear to do something, I not only
do it, but I become it. I confessed wholeheartedly; I did it
for the whole universe and I actually became the one who
confesses. My own principle of humility I do not break; I
am free but this principle must be maintained.
Baba's loving words helped not only Manik but even others to
learn to control their temper and to cooperate with each
241
other in doing Baba's work by humbly sharing His words of

love and truth with the people of Andhra.
KDRM Dissolved; Every Baba Lover a Baba Center
A free discussion in Baba's presence continued. One of the
workers said, "Baba, how is propaganda possible without
raising money?" With a meaningful look Baba's immediate
response was, "It is only without money that Baba's real work
can be done. What do you mean by propaganda? The very word
makes Me look down [belittles Me]. Since ages My work has
been done without money."
After a variety of subjects were discussed during the intimate
conversation that ensued, Baba eventually announced His
decision:
I have heard what you have said. Now I will make some
points clear. I know KDRM are not dishonest. K is very
particular about money; D has some money with him; R has
no money; M, the same. It is natural for them to think that for
spreading Baba's message far and wide they need money. But
to depend on money to do Baba's work and to extract money
by hook or crook is absolutely dishonest.
From the day I kept silence, I stopped touching money. But
from that day till today, you have no idea how much money
has "flowed" through My hands. Yet I have not a pie with me.
I am the Fakir. But money comes and money goes. If you
depend upon money for My work, then do not work for Me,
because how will you get money? Let us be very practical.
K. Sastri said, "I feel it is the life we lead which is important."
Baba continued:
Very good. Live such a life that you show others that you
love Me. To ask people to give money and then in return to
propagate Baba's "message of love," how does it sound?
Absurd! So, unless you four have something else to suggest
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RAJAHMUNDRY
other than raising funds to disseminate My message, it
would be better if you stop what you call work and begin to
live the life of love. Let there be no compromise in this,
otherwise the whole thing will merely be a show, a mixture
of honesty and dishonesty.
Katta Subba Rao might say, "I am not a fool; I can do
Baba's work independently [of KDRM]." Kovvur people
will say, "We are capable of spreading Baba's love, why
must we be directed and controlled by KDRM?" And
likewise from others.
Remember, in these sixty years of My life this is the first
time I have attended such a meeting. . . . Not even in
Hamirpur was a workers' meeting like this called. But
because I felt that something is seriously wrong here, I
called this meeting. Absolute honesty must be there, or there
is no Baba-work. I am Baba and I know everything. KDRM
must stop functioning as a committee from now on. Have
you anything to suggest? Am I unjust in dissolving KDRM?
Each of the four members of KDRM were then asked in turn
whether they thought Baba was being unjust in dissolving
KDRM. Each said, "No". Baba then declared:
KDRM is dissolved. Andhra Meher Center and all other
Meher Centers in Andhra should be discontinued as they are
presently functioning. Neither KDRM nor any center nor
Meher Publications nor any literature on Baba will have
anything to do with Me directly as I shall have no concern
either with KDRM as a whole or with any of the centers in
Andhra.
Let each Baba lover be a Baba center radiating My
message of love through living the life of sacrifice, love and
honesty for the divine cause. Let every lover, whoever and
wherever he may be, be Baba's center in telling people
Baba's message that God alone is real and everything else is
unreal and that therefore all should love Baba.
So, from today, KDRM, Andhra Meher Center, and
Meher Publications are dissolved. Let true workers
243
become Baba's centers. And, for God's sake, for Baba's

sake, beware of money. One pie taken from others with
false pretensions makes one die a million deaths! Let
principle in work and honesty in life prevail.
I know definitely I love Andhra, and the Andhra people
have expressed their love in a way to touch My heart. I
know also that every one of you here tonight loves Me. So, I
feel very happy. The unique love expressed in Andhra
during all the programs, big and small, has really touched
Me very deeply.
Now, once again, I will confess before God, whoever He
be, on behalf of all, because the Eluru people were not here
when I confessed the first time. After the confession, if you
really love Me, even a little, I want your hearts toward each
other to be clean. Forget your past differences, clean your
hearts and live for Baba if you love Baba.
At this point, before the prayers began, one of the workers
asked Baba, "How, if all centers are abolished will Your
messages reach us and the people?"
Baba replied:
All those who love Me and want to work can share My
message with others. Those who have money and can afford
to go from place to place should spread My message of love
in distant nooks and crannies. Those who have little money
can easily go around their own towns and, by living the life
of love, inspire others to love God. Those who have no
money, large families and no spare time, should share their
love with their own family members and friends. Let Baba's
love be the center, the office, and the work. Is that not right?
The light of God sparkled like a flame in Baba's eyes as He
announced these drastic decisions. None had expected such a
turn of events and many looked anxious as Eruch was reading
out Baba's board, wondering what else Baba was going to
declare.
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RAJAHMUNDRY
"Love Me; Love Me; Love Me."
K. Subba Rao asked Baba whether, after the abolition of the
centers, His lovers, as individuals, would be allowed to
correspond directly with Him. Baba replied, "Henceforth I want
to stop all correspondence. I intend to no longer send messages
to you all. Now, I wish to work out My personal program to
break My silence."
This proved too much for Subba Rao who could not refrain
from saying, "For others' faults, we have to suffer?" Baba threw
him a disapproving glance and replied, "It is no one's fault.
Perhaps it may be your fault, who knows? Is there anyone
without weaknesses, without defects?"
Someone in the hall said, "Baba, You are the only one without
fault." Baba was still in a serious mood and He continued:
You take Baba as God. God means All-knowing, All-
pervading. So, I am in everyone and know everything—is it
not so? Hence it is My fault. Who else could be at fault? I
am in everything; I am everything, and I do everything. If
you say I am God, then it is no one else's fault. If I am not
God, then there is no one in the world except Myself who is
more at fault!
Looking at Subba Rao, but addressing the rest of the people as
well, Baba continued:
I am fed up with this board and My silence, and I must
break My silence. When I break My silence, all of you who
have come into My contact will have some glimpse of Me.
Some will have a little, some more, and some still more.
When the powerhouse is switched on, wherever there are
electric bulbs which have a connection with the
powerhouse, there will be light.
If some of the bulbs are of small candlepower, the light
will be dim, and if some of the bulbs are of high
candlepower, the light will be bright. If a bulb is fused, there
will be no light at all. That is why I have told you that I have
performed no miracles, but when I break My silence, the
245
first, last and greatest of all miracles will happen.

These statements contain an implicit call to Baba lovers to
love Him for love's sake, through a silent inner communion
with Him, irrespective of what happens externally in their lives.
During this meeting, while explaining various points from the
board, Baba's hand gestures were very suggestive, and His
facial expressions indicated a depth that one could feel but
which shall ever remain beyond words to describe. As a simple
yet profound conclusion to this long conversation, Baba with a
divine glow about Him, added:
Love Me wholeheartedly; that is the real thing. Love Me;
love Me; love Me; and you will find Me.
When Baba's workers and lovers in Andhra heard His candid
declaration of being God in human form and His loving
counsel—Love Me—some of them gazed at Him with
wonderment, and some in intense silence. For some the
subliminal reaction was, "Yes, we wish to love Baba, but how?"
Baba Himself had answered this question once by smilingly
gesturing, "That is the lover's look out. I tell you all: I am the
Eternal Beloved; love Me."
Perhaps a part of an answer to this question lies in the words
of an enlightened mystic who wrote, "The 'fools of God' do not
think, they act." Baba does not want to impose a particular
method on anyone. It's a sort of a challenge and an open
invitation to live with Him, experimenting with His presence. In
a way, it is like trying to find a track in uncharted space, it can
be anywhere or nowhere.
A line of a ghazal that Baba liked, when freely translated,
means, "Love is not a game for the feeble-hearted." But Baba's
compassionate appeal, "Love Me", also implies that if one
honestly wishes to love Him, He will definitely help. So those
who dare to love Him, will be taken care of by Him. When the
pain of longing for Beloved God builds within the heart, one's
path to Him begins to gracefully unfold. One then marvels at
how, with Baba's grace, any way can become the way to Him.
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RAJAHMUNDRY
Existence is Substance; Life is Shadow
While all were wondering what was going to be the next item of
the meeting, Baba asked everyone, through Eruch, to get ready
for the second recitation of the Prayer of Repentance. In His
compassion, Baba did not want His lovers from Eluru, who had
arrived late, to be deprived of their participation with Him in
confessing their weaknesses. The hall soon resounded with the
solemn words of the prayer.
Baba then conveyed that a special message, "Existence Is
Substance and Life Is Shadow," would be read out, followed by
its Telugu translation. Before Eruch began reading the message,
however, Baba pointed His middle finger toward His ear and
gestured, "Listen carefully; it will help you to understand what
work and action mean."
As the message was read aloud, Baba, in splendor and dignity,
remained seated in His chair. His eyes flashed in different
directions and His glances carried tides of His divinity to His
dear ones who were attentively listening. This was one of the
important messages given during Baba's second visit to Andhra,
so the entire text is given below:
Existence is eternal, whereas life is perishable.
Comparatively, Existence is what one's body is to a
person, and life is as the cloth that covers the body. The
same body changes clothes according to the seasons, time
and circumstances, just as the one and eternal Existence is
always there throughout the countless and varied aspects of
life.
Shrouded beyond recognition by the cloak of life with its
multifarious folds and colors, is Existence unchangeable. It
is the garb of life with its veils of mind, energy and gross
forms that "shadows" and superimposes on Existence,
presenting the eternal, indivisible and unchangeable
Existence as transient, varied and ever-changing.
Existence is all-pervading, and is the underlying essence
of all things, whether animate or inanimate, real or unreal,
varied in species or uniform in forms, collective or
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individual, abstract or substantial.

In the eternity of Existence there is no time. There is no
past and no future; only the everlasting Present. In Eternity
nothing has ever happened and nothing will ever happen.
Everything is happening in the unending NOW.
Existence is God; whereas life is illusion.
Existence is Reality; whereas life is imagination.
Existence is everlasting; whereas life is ephemeral.
Existence is unchangeable; whereas life is ever-changing.
Existence is freedom; whereas life is binding.
Existence is indivisible; whereas life is multiple.
Existence is imperceptible; whereas life is deceptive.
Existence is independent; whereas life is dependent
upon mind, energy and gross forms.
Existence IS; whereas life appears to be.
Existence, therefore, is not life.
Birth and death do not mark the beginning or end of life.

Whereas the numerous stages and states of life governed by
the laws of evolution and reincarnation, life comes into
being only once, with the advent of the first dim rays of
limited consciousness, and succumbs to death only once on
attaining the unlimited consciousness of infinite Existence.
Existence, all-knowing, all-powerful, all-present God, is
beyond cause and effect, beyond time and space, beyond all
actions.
Existence touches all, all things and all shadows. Nothing
can ever touch Existence. Even the very fact of its being
does not touch Existence.
To realize Existence, life must be shed. It is life that
endows limitations to the unlimited Self. Life of the limited
self is sustained by the mind creating impressions; by
energy supplying the impetus to accumulate and dissipate
these impressions through expressions; and by gross forms
and bodies functioning as the instruments through which
these impressions are spent, reinforced and eventually
exhausted, through actions.
Life is thickly linked with actions. Life is lived through
actions. Life is valued through actions. Life's survival
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depends on actions. Life cognizant is actions—actions
opposite in nature, actions affirmative and negative, actions
constructive and destructive.
Therefore, to let life succumb to its ultimate death is to let
all actions end. When actions end completely, life of the
limited self spontaneously experiences itself as Existence of
the unlimited Self. Existence being realized, evolution and
involution of consciousness is complete, illusion vanishes,
and the law of reincarnation no longer binds.
Simply to desist from committing actions will never put
an end to actions. It would merely mean putting into action
yet another action—that of inactivity.
To escape from actions is not the remedy for the uprooting
of actions. Rather, this would give scope to the limited self
to get more involved in the very act of escaping, thus
creating more actions. Actions, both good and bad, are like
knots in the tangled thread of life. The more persistent the
efforts to undo the knots of actions, the firmer become the
knots and the greater the entanglement.
Only actions can nullify actions, in the same way that
poison can counteract the effects of poison. A deeply
embedded thorn may be extricated by the use of another
thorn or any sharp object resembling it, such as a needle,
used with skill and precaution. Similarly, actions are totally
uprooted by other actions when they are committed by some
activating agent other than the "self".
Karma-yoga, dnyan-yoga, raj-yoga, and bhakti-yoga serve
the purpose of being prominent signposts on the path of
Truth, directing the seeker toward the goal of eternal
Existence. But the hold of life, fed by actions, is so tight on
the aspirant that even with the help of these inspiring
signposts, he fails to be guided in the right direction. As
long as the "self" is bound by actions, the aspirant, or even
the pilgrim on the path toward Truth, is sure to go astray
through self-deception.
Throughout all ages, sadhus and seekers, sages and saints,
munis and monks, tapasavis and sanyasis, yogis, Sufis and
talibs, have struggled during their lifetimes,
249
undergoing untold hardships in their efforts to extricate

themselves from the maze of actions and to realize the
eternal Existence by overcoming life.
They fail in their attempts because the more they struggle
with their "selves," the firmer the "selves" become gripped
by life, through actions intensified by austerities and
penances, by seclusions and pilgrimages, by meditation and
concentration, by assertive utterances and silent contem-
plation, by intense activity and inactivity, by silence and
verbosity, by japas and tapas, and by all types of yogas and
chillas.
Emancipation from the grip of life and freedom from the
labyrinths of actions are made possible for all and attained
by a few, when a Perfect Master, Sadguru or Qutub is
approached and his grace and guidance are invoked. The
Perfect Master's invariable counsel is complete surrender to
him. Those few who do surrender their all—mind, body,
possessions—so that with their complete surrender they also
surrender consciously their own "selves" to the Perfect
Master, still have their very being left conscious to commit
actions which are now activated only by the dictates of the
Master.
Such actions, after the surrender of one's "self," are no
longer one's own actions. Therefore, these actions are
capable of uprooting all other actions which feed and sustain
life. Life then becomes gradually lifeless and eventually
succumbs, by the grace of the Perfect Master, to its final
death. Life, which once debarred the persevering aspirant
from realizing perpetual Existence, can now no longer work
its own deception.
I have emphasized in the past, I tell you now, and I shall
age after age forevermore repeat that you shed your cloak of
life and realize Existence which is eternally yours.
To realize this truth of unchangeable, indivisible, all-
pervading Existence, the simplest way is to surrender to Me
completely; so completely that you are not even conscious
of your surrender, conscious only to obey Me and to act as
and when I order you.
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RAJAHMUNDRY
If you seek to live perpetually, then crave for the death of
your deceptive self at the hands of complete surrender to
Me. This yoga is the essence of all yogas in one.
As this message was being read out in Telugu, Baba called
Mouna Swami and asked him to sit before Him. Baba repeated
His previous order to the swami: "For forty days, take one cup
of tea and one cup of milk only. For forty days and nights, no
sleep, even if you go mad or die. If you say, 'Baba, Baba'
constantly, everything will be all right."
The swami asked Baba where he should stay for those forty
days, and Baba replied, "Kovvur. At the place where the mass
darshan was held. Don't let anyone bow down to you. Obey My
orders wholeheartedly and honestly, and Baba will help you."
Baba then told Koduri Krishna Rao to provide the swami with a
cup of milk and a cup of tea daily during the forty-day period.
When the Telugu translation of the message was finished,
Baba remarked, "From you Andhrites, Baba's dear ones in
Andhra, I want nothing but love."
It was now a little after 2:30 in the morning. The meeting had
been in session since 9:00 the previous night. But these six
hours had not just been a thrilling or memorable period, they
had constituted one of the most moving events in my life. Baba
declared that the meeting was now over and that all the workers
and mandali should go to bed. All hurried to retire so they could
rest for a few hours and be fresh for the programs of the next
day.
"No One of My Mandali Is Baba"
After leaving the hall, I hardly slept, as the vibrant memories of
what had just transpired kept me awake. And yet, Baba's
presence was so enlivening that I felt quite refreshed the
following morning March 2. After an early bath, I did not feel at
all tired as I approached the hall at 8:00 for the session
251
Baba had scheduled.

Beloved Baba was already there as most of the mandali and
Baba workers of Andhra assembled. Baba looked fresh and
resplendent, as if he had just been on a holiday tour and had had
plenty of rest! Yet, for all this, He was in a serious mood. He
did not ask after our health or whether we had slept well, as He
usually did, but began getting down to His business
immediately.
After looking about the hall, Baba bent His handsome head a
little, and His delicate long fingers began to move over His
board:
Summing up last night's proceedings, I want to make
some points very clear. I have dissolved KDRM, and
officially I am not connected with any of the Andhra Meher
Centers. For books and all other literature on Baba, you
[Baba lovers in Andhra] are responsible, not I. What I really
want is that those who love Me and want to work for Me
should each become a Baba center.
Last night I explained how those who can afford, and
those who cannot afford, can work for Me. Now, if you, on
your own, open centers in cities, in towns, in villages, and in
your own homes, that is your concern, not Mine.
As I told you earlier, I will now have to work out alone
My own program to break My silence, so I don't want to be
bothered with correspondence.
It may be mentioned here that ever since Pendu and Eruch had
first visited Andhra in November 1952, many centers had been
opened by Baba lovers to spread His name and message to the
general public. But in the enthusiasm to share the tidings of joy
about the Avatar's advent, disagreements arose as to the best
way of doing this. As a result, several devotees wrote letters to
Baba explaining the situation and asking for guidance.
Baba was busy with His inner work and did not wish to be
disturbed. He had little time to spare for correspondence,
including that pertaining to Baba work in Andhra.
During the meeting Baba had made it clear that He should
252
RAJAHMUNDRY
be completely relieved of the outward details connected with
His work in Andhra. Baba's skill in "building" and "dismant-
ling" was unique, and He was able to use both methods as a
means of awakening the hearts of His lovers.
Baba continued:
Now this dissolution of KDRM and Andhra Meher
Centers may create complications for those directly
concerned regarding office, publications, etc. Therefore, I
have ordered Adi to help you clear up any difficulties.
You can all, if you like, correspond with Adi, Eruch,
Pendu, and with any one of the mandali. But I order them,
the mandali, now, that not one word of the letters you write
to them should be brought to My ears. So, if any of the
mandali advises you, when asked by you, don't take the
advice as from Me. You can trust them not to mislead you
purposely, but after asking them for advice and help, you
should also think about it yourself, for after all, the mandali
are not Baba.
I will have no concern whatsoever with your offices or
publications—whether it all goes on or is stopped. Even if
KDRM, of their own, want to continue, I have nothing to do
with it. You can add, subtract, or be zero [there may be one,
many or none involved in this work]. I will have no concern
with it. Let me now see how you love Baba and how you
work for Baba. I am everywhere, and I am in you also to
watch you. Now, ask Me something, if you like.
Venkateswara Rao asked, "What about our failings on the
spiritual path in following You?" While saying this, he was on
the verge of tears, which seemed to touch Baba, and He replied:
I tell you that no one has failed Me; you love Me
wholeheartedly. When love is not at its height it always
creates a mess; there is no question of anyone's failing. I am
very happy with you all.
As I mentioned last night, this is the first time I have held
such a meeting for the divine cause. If only you had a
253
little glimpse of My Divinity, all doubts would have

vanished, and love—real love—been established. But
illusion has such a tight grip that you miss Reality.
In a hundred years, none of you will have the same body,
and yet today you don't "feel" this truth. If yesterday's
accident to KDRM had taken them away from this world,
the present muddle which is in their minds would not be
there.
Looking at KDRM, Baba added, "So, KDRM, think that you
are dead and from now on try to live only for Me." V. Rao
continued, "Baba, we are prodigal children and not up to the
mark. Give us help through Adi." Baba answered:
Let us be honest. Adi has been with Me like the few tested
mandali for a long period, and he has been conducting
office work for twenty years with 100% dedication. Even
so, remember, no one of My mandali is Baba. Everyone has
got weaknesses and defects. Advice you can have from Adi,
but not as from Baba through Adi.
For many, at that moment, the compassion behind Baba's
severing external connections with His work in Andhra was not
apparent. But eventually, some began to see that Baba's real
emphasis at the workers' meeting was not on the severing of
external connections, but on the assurance of His internal help,
with the hint to establish an "inner link" with Him.
By dissolving Baba centers and prohibiting correspondence,
Baba was helping His lovers create and nurture a genuine center
in their hearts, and become ever more responsive to the flow of
His inner guidance. Was not Baba's suggestion that His workers
write the mandali for advice also a subtle clue that they
eventually turn to Him residing in their hearts for the real help?
Marvelous are His ways indeed!
Baba's Breaking of His Silence
Annapurnaiah, the editor of "Velugu," a Telugu weekly, on
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RAJAHMUNDRY
the spur of the moment asked, "Baba, will the Andhra lovers be
informed of the time and place of the breaking of Your
silence?"
Baba looked amused. With His characteristic smile and
twinkle, He answered, "My dear 'Velugu!' If this is what is
meant by the breaking of My silence, it would be better if I
don't break it!"
After a slight pause, Baba continued:
Just as I told you all last night, the "powerhouse" is to be
switched on and all the bulbs connected with it will be lit
up. So this will not be just here, but throughout the world.
All will know. But bulbs [hearts] that are fused will not give
any light. That is why I have been telling you all to love Me
more and more. The time for the powerhouse to be switched
on is so near that the only thing that will count now is love.
Annapurnaiah's question about the exact time of Baba's
breaking His silence reminds me of an incident which happened
twenty-two years earlier in 1932. It is narrated by Jean Adriel in
her book, Avatar, published in Santa Barbara, California,
U.S.A. in 1947.
She writes:
Before going to California, Baba had told us he would
break his silence there in July, and that this event would be
the signal for the spiritual quickening which he had been
predicting for so many years. We were naturally anticipating
this moment keenly, because we—as among those close to
him—would share in this quickening in a very profound
way. This, Baba had told us at the time of his first visit
[1931]. . . .
We gladly believed him—perhaps because we wanted to
be relieved of the necessity of further conscious growth—
but we were not greatly surprised when he told us there
would be a slight postponement. He must first make a
hurried trip to China, he told us, and would then return to
break his silence in Hollywood Bowl, with Mary Pickford
255
to introduce him!
How any of us could have given credence to this fantastic
story I cannot now imagine! Certainly it revealed what
babes in consciousness we then were. Only too willing were
we to be lifted up to Heaven by the boot-straps without
further delay! One day, in India, years later, Baba laughed
as he recalled the picture to us: "Fancy your believing that
story—that I would break my silence over the radio in
Hollywood Bowl!"
But believe it then we did, and ardently anticipated his
return from China. Before leaving with his party Baba had
instructed Malcolm and me to go to San Francisco and
prepare the ground for his return. Through contacts which
we had from our bookshop days we got in touch with
various 'key' people, who arranged for us to speak about
Baba and tell of his imminent return and the breaking of his
silence.
On precisely the evening when we were to attend the
largest of these gatherings in Piedmont word arrived from
Baba that he was not returning to America, but was
proceeding to India and Europe; nor would he break his
silence at that time. This, frankly, was a very dark moment
for us.
Within a few hours we were expected to tell these new
friends of Baba's expected return to America; to describe the
quickening effects upon consciousness which his speaking
would initiate for mankind; to proclaim him as a supreme
example of God-hood, worthy of the deepest trust and faith.
But in our hearts dark doubts were refusing to be silenced....
We felt like trustful children who had been cruelly deceived.
Either he did not have the God-knowledge with which we
had credited him, or he was another of the imposters who
pose as advanced spiritual teachers. Either he was deluded
or deluding, the rational mind argued and for a few hours
held sway.
Now, in retrospect, it is difficult to recapture the agony of
soul I went through. But, at that time, being a neophyte
among Baba's followers, I had not become accustomed to
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RAJAHMUNDRY
his sudden changes of plan when his inner work demanded
it. Even today, after fifteen years of close association, I
would not attempt to explain why he does and says certain
things.
Once, in Cannes, in discussing a letter which he had
recently received, and in which the writer was bewailing the
fact that Baba's promises were not materializing according
to schedule, he indicated to me that everything he had
promised would come true, "but in my own time and in my
own way."
I accept that, though it explains nothing to the rational
mind. However, the demands of the reasoning mind matter
less and less as the years pass, whereas the intuitions of the
heart matter more and more. But during those dark hours in
San Francisco the claims of reason were very strong. I felt
myself insecure in a world where one's given word was so
lightly regarded. Surely the word of a God-man must be
sacred. So I reasoned.
But as the hours passed I gained better perspective. I
realized that though I could not understand his motive, I
knew in my heart that nothing he did was ever prompted by
the slightest shadow of self-interest; and that his
consciousness so far transcended man-made ethics or
conduct that his words or actions could not be judged by our
conventional concepts of right or wrong. . . .
Out of deference to our hostess and the plans she had
made, we went to the party that night, but only the
following day did we send out word of Baba's change of
plans. Overnight, practically all of the newly-made friends
became ardent enemies! The next day another cable arrived
showing the inner contact which Baba had been maintaining
with us: "I knew you two would not fail me. Love, Baba." 34
On this enigmatic subject, Baba's secretary, Adi, shared his
views in a letter as follows: ". . . Baba may be putting off the
breaking of His Silence in order to put off those people who
might believe in Him for merely being true to words rather
34
Avatar, pp. 144-146.
257
than for being the One who will give the WORD. The skeptics
would believe in Baba because of it, while we believe in Baba
in spite of it."
Whenever God visits earth in human form as the Avatar, He
uses human language as well as His own language. And it is
impossible for the intellect to differentiate between the two.
However, if His lovers let His statements simmer in their hearts,
then the Avatar's grace helps them to understand what He
wishes them to know. Love accommodates contradictions,
reconciles paradoxes, and shines forth with a purity which
cannot be gainsaid. Once one is blessed with the insight love
provides, one's faith in the God-Man's divine status is not
affected by the intellectual conundrums of others.
The entire subject of Meher Baba's silence and His promises
to break it is far, far beyond my comprehension. For me, it is
one of the most sublime and subtle aspects of His spiritual
work, and that's all I can say.
Once, while sitting with a group of His lovers in Guruprasad,
Poona, one of His dear ones said, "Baba, some of my friends
who are scholars and are really good people with many more
spiritual qualities than I have, often remark that things do not
happen as you say they will." Perhaps this was obliquely
referring to Baba's oft repeated promises to break His silence on
such and such a date.
Baba's eyes sparkled, and with a chuckle He gestured, "You
know, when I was in school, I was good at all subjects, except
arithmetic. That must be why I have trouble with dates and
years!" What a reply! A magnificent Avataric joke!
"I Am the Ancient One"
Returning to the morning's program of March 2, Baba, after
clearing up Annapurnaiah's misconception about His silence
and its breaking, continued His conversation with His lovers:
Again I tell you, if you want to make Andhra love Me and
make them feel My love for them, it is in the hands of
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RAJAHMUNDRY
each of you to do so. This does not mean that you must
necessarily work individually; I never meant that. I want
each one of you to be a Baba center. This does not imply
that you should only work individually when you can work
collectively through Baba centers or as a group.
But all the same, remember well that I will have no outer
concern with any centers. I have shown you how to work.
Now, it is all your own responsibility. You may open a
hundred centers for Baba—it will be your concern, not
mine. Know well this much, that each one who really wants
to work for Me should lead the life of "Baba's lover" and
this will very naturally bring others to Me.
I want "moneyless" love—love which does not depend on
money for its expression, nor expects it as a reward.
Remember that although I do not perform miracles, I will
give anything to anyone who asks for it from the bottom of
one's heart. If I am Baba, I can do anything; ask whole-
heartedly and you will get it from Me. But this I also tell
you, that the one who asks for My love will be the chosen
one. The time is very near when I will break My silence. . . .
So, from this moment, love Me more and more.
Don't go in for false propaganda. Pour out without
hesitation what your heart feels and your conscience accepts
about Me. While freely sharing your love for Me with
others, be unmindful of whether you are ridiculed or
honored.
Do not overrule your conscience and do not exaggerate
merely for the sake of propaganda. If your conscience says,
"Baba is the Avatar," say it, even if you are killed for it. But
if you feel I am not that, then say honestly, "Baba is not the
Avatar." Do not fear, but be prepared to honestly say out
what you feel. From My own experience, I tell you again
and again: I am the Ancient One—the Highest of the High.
When Baba reaffirmed His status as the Ancient One, He
gracefully spelled out these words on His board with a casual
matter-of-factness. For most in the hall, this statement seemed
259
most natural. Baba's presence was so majestic, so over-

whelming, that His declaration, "I am the Highest of the High,"
only reconfirmed what the hearts of His dear ones had already
felt. It was truly an indescribable moment in the hall. And with
this divine reassurance the meeting came to an end.
This second meeting of Baba with His workers had lasted for
approximately an hour. At its conclusion, Baba returned to His
room and sat outside in a chair. Soon the boys from the Gurukul
spotted Baba and started gathering around Him. Baba got up
and started throwing apples to them and soon there was much
merriment as the boys tried to catch the apples which
unexpectedly came winging to them—Baba was superb at
looking one way and then throwing the apple in another. Baba
then had a photograph taken of Himself with the boys and
teachers of the Gurukul.
An interesting coincidence is that before the serious workers'
meeting, Baba, on His own, went and watched the boys play
kabaddi on the playground. After the meetings were concluded,
the boys on their own came and watched Baba's "game" with
the apples. Was there some significance to this, or was it merely
one of the little games within the Great Game He eternally plays
with His dear ones?
He Needs None; We Need None But Him!
Meher Baba spent the night of March 1 and the early morning
hours of the 2nd in the company of His lovers and workers from
Andhra, intimately and very frankly explaining to them what He
meant by working for Him—the "real work." Those who were
present, as well as those who later read the account of this
meeting, tried to gauge the significance of Baba's statements.
Each one's understanding depends mainly upon the nature of
the person's relationship with, and their degree of acceptance of,
Meher Baba. There is no need to argue about anyone's
perspective, for everyone's journey to Baba, the Ocean of Love,
is a personal concern between the individual and the Eternal
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RAJAHMUNDRY
Beloved, the Avatar.
In Baba's All-forgiving love, however, I dare to share some of
my thoughts on "work," to prompt others to have their own. As
I look back and recall the proceedings of that unique meeting,
sometimes the memories of Baba's flashing eyes and the
graceful smile that often swept over His face reduce my careful
calculations, logic and interpretations to naught. Eventually,
though, the mind begins to function and ventures to fathom the
meaning of Baba's words.
To me, working for Baba means to avail oneself of the
compassionate chance that He has offered us to set ourselves
free from the bindings of our emotions, thoughts, and actions.
To do anything with love, with the warmth of sharing His
message of Truth, links one with Baba's divine presence.
Gradually this link begins to operate through all the events of
every-day life, both big and small. As one's heart opens up more
and more to Baba, instead of feeling proud about one's deeds,
even when others regard them as great, one feels indebted to
Baba for the opportunities given by Him to participate in His
cause.
Baba's perennial work is to release each of us from the
limitations of the finite self; our "work" for Baba is to bind
ourselves more and more to Him, the eternal, infinite Self. Thus
our occupation should be to make room for Baba within
ourselves, letting Him flood our beings with His sanctifying
presence. This is a quiet act of sacrificing our selfishness at the
altar of the infinitely selfless One, Meher Baba. Hence our
"work" or rather our part within His work, is a private affair of
pleasing Baba, of surrendering to Baba, with no expectation of
appreciation from others.
In the mid-1930s, Beloved Baba once conveyed to His early
group of Western disciples one simple sentence which explains
both the divine and human sides of His work. He stated, "My
work is the realization of my Self in all creation." So our
"work," with Baba's grace, will eventually end with the
annihilation of the worker, the finite self, in the ever active
Infinite Consciousness, the Avatar.
This does not mean, however, that there is no scope for
individuality in our work. I am reminded here of an incident
261
which I had heard from Pandoba, one of the mandali who

stayed with Baba in the mid-1920s. He recalled that once during
a general discourse, Baba remarked, "If anyone were to please
Me with a sweet, melodious bhajan, I would bless the person in
a special way and he will reap immense spiritual benefit."
One of Pandoba's friends gathered from this casual comment
of Baba's that the easiest way for him to win Baba's grace would
be through singing. Although nature had not gifted him with a
sweet voice, he wanted to take advantage of this "hint" from
Baba, as it seemed to promise a short-cut to spiritual progress.
So, each night, when the other mandali had gone to sleep,
he would steal away from the sleeping quarters to practice his
singing. One night, on some pretext, Baba was walking around
Lower Meherabad and was surprised to hear some discordant
notes emanating from a field in the distance. Baba quickly
walked over and found this dear one singing for all he was
worth.
The man was surprised to see Baba at that unexpected hour
and bowed down to Him. Baba gestured, "What are you doing
here?" The man shyly replied that he was trying to learn how to
sing well. "Why?" asked Baba, and the man related the whole
story.
Baba smiled in appreciation of the intent, but went on to
explain that whatever one does from the bottom of one's heart in
the service of the Master is nothing less than a song. He asked
the man to discontinue his singing venture and simply be more
diligent in the duties already given him by Baba.
Our work then is to discover our own way of singing to Baba.
Paradoxically, part of this work involves giving up our earnest
efforts, and learning to rely completely on Baba to find one's
way to Him. This subtle process of self-effacement and
surrender molds one's relationship with Baba in the way which
is most in tune with one's innate nature. One begins to feel not
only more at ease with one's self, but also closer to His
presence.
This awakens in one a secret and poignant longing to be even
262
RAJAHMUNDRY
more aware of Him. One develops the voice to sing His praise,
and the eyes to witness His glory. In this spirit of love, offering
flowers is not a ritual, arti is not a dry discipline, and prayers
can become a genuine means of establishing His presence in our
day-to-day life. When life is lived in this manner, one becomes
a Baba center, completely centered in Him.
On some occasions I had the privilege to be present when
Beloved Baba conversed with groups of His lovers from
different parts of India. The gist of what He conveyed from time
to time, as I recall it today is, "Whether one knows it or not,
Baba, as the Avatar, is in everyone, around everyone, and
beyond everyone. And, whether one accepts it or not, it is the
Avatar who, in His timeless love and compassion for all,
responds to even the faintest longing for God or call for help."
In my own life, I have seen many times how my efforts to get
closer to Baba are the excuses He uses to come closer to me. To
be aware of this is to surrender more completely to His will, to
depend more wholly on Him, and to become a more pliable
vehicle for the Avatar's work in us, and through us. How
wonderful it would be to play our parts without self-resistance,
as small passive nothings in the ever active Everything—the
Avatar. For His work, He needs none, and for our work, we
need none. . . but Him! He Alone Exists.
263
THE GLORIOUS ANDHRA DARSHAN
TOUR ENDS
1954 -PART XII
"So Many Seek, So Few Find"
On the morning of March 2, after an extemporaneous and lively
game of catch with the boys at the Gurukul, Meher Baba was
ready for house visits. The impact of the previous night on me
was so great that I could hardly recollect the details of what had
transpired at the meeting. I was simply gratefully aware that
Meher Baba had spent the night with us and we with Him. To
be in the Avatar's presence for such a long time at one stretch
was a rare privilege.
It was only later that I began reflecting on Baba's message and
its meaning. On the morning of the second, however, only His
words, "Love Me; I am the Ancient One," kept beating in my
heart. To me these words were not just abstract philosophy, or
coldly intellectual; they had a warm appeal, even as they
challenged my love. What else was there to remember?
Ever since Baba had entered Andhra, He had been hinting at
the importance of the workers' meeting that He wanted to hold
at the end of His tour. Perhaps this was one of the main reasons
for His visit. Be that as it may, at the end of these meetings,
Baba seemed relaxed and in a happy mood. Around 10:00 that
morning He visited the home of N. Dharma Rao, an executive
engineer, who had been tirelessly driving Baba throughout His
Andhra tour.
Baba then visited the homes of Jyothi Prakash and the Pillay
family. At each place, Baba was garlanded and arti performed.
At Pillay's house, his two daughters, Meera and Veena were
also there. Meera was weeping bitterly, but that seemed to ease
the pain of her aching heart and perhaps made the impending
parting from Baba more tolerable. Baba compassionately
embraced her, consoling her with His touch. Veena, on the other
hand, seemed to be in high spirits, her face
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THE GLORIOUS ANDHRA DARSHAN TOUR ENDS
beaming with joy, because her Beloved Baba was in her home
in person.
After these three visits, Baba returned to the Gurukul where
Bullaiah approached Him with the visitors' book for Him to
sign. Bullaiah told Baba that last year's flood had washed away
the previous book and so Baba's would be the first entry in the
new book. Baba smiled and gestured a few words which Eruch
wrote down. Baba then took the pen and made just a little mark
on the page as a token of His signature.
Baba then sat outside His room and all gathered around Him.
People began singing "Nemo Meher Baba, Avatar Namo." (Our
loving salutations to Avatar Meher Baba.) This evoked a mood
of deep reverence and love for Baba, but this enchanted time of
sitting in Baba's divine presence passed all too soon. At 1:00,
Baba left Rajahmundry for Kakinada.
Baba made several stops en route. The first was at
Tapeswaram where Baba gave darshan at the Theosophical
Lodge. Here, He gave a special message from His board which
Eruch read out in his loud clear flowing voice:
I am the One so many seek and so few find. No amount of
intellect can fathom Me. No amount of austerity can attain
Me. Only when one loves Me and loses one's self in Me, am
I found. This love must be so honest that not only should
others not know about it, but you yourself should not be
aware of it.
One of the divine aspects [of God] is infinite goodness,
and so, do good but without expecting any appreciation for
the same from any quarter.
Baba gives His blessings to all.
These few words seem simple, yet have great meaning
to them, for they amount to a declaration of Baba's being
the Ancient One—eternally available to all. Regardless of
one's worldly position, any attempt to love God is
answered directly by the Ancient One.
When someone asked Baba for His blessings, He gestured,
"My blessing is in the prasad. If people take it with love, it will
go deep down into their hearts. Without love, all messages are
265
empty talks."
The next stop was at the village of Alamuru where the host
wanted to serve Baba and party with tea and coconut water.
Baba, who was a quick wit, looked at the mandali with a smile
and gestured that they could have one or the other, but not both!
After half an hour's program, Baba's car was speeding once
again toward Kakinada, but there were two more stops before
He reached there. First, at Mandapeta, which was about a half
hour's drive from Alamuru. Baba glanced lovingly at those
assembled with His luminous eyes and dictated a short message
on His board:
Whether rich or poor, big or small, high or low, literate or
illiterate, all of you can have Me. If you love Me as I ought
to be loved, you will find Me as your own Self.
Baba's visit to Mandapeta was very brief and within ten or
fifteen minutes He drove off to Ramachandrapuram. There was
a short darshan program here at which K. Sastri gave a talk in
Telugu on Beloved Baba and His message of love. At its
conclusion, Baba added:
God is not to be preached, but to be loved, and only those
who live a life of love can know Me as the Ancient One.
These last three stops were unscheduled originally, but Baba
spared a few moments to answer the call of His lovers at each
place. Baba left Ramachandrapuram around 5:00 in the
afternoon and arrived at Kakinada at about 7:00 that evening.
An Offering That Begets Pride Defiles Love
During this darshan tour, Baba lovers tried to reserve for Baba
a house in a semi-secluded location at each place He stayed.
They knew this was Baba's wish and so, at Kakinada, they had
arranged for Baba to stay at Y. V. Narasimha Rao's bungalow
on the outskirts of town. Baba's car drove straight through the
city until it reached the bungalow which the
266
family had vacated for Baba's stay, but Baba did not go inside.
He sat on the ground in front of the house and waited for the
mandali.
Our bus had broken down a little before the end and all had to
walk the last furlong or so. Traveling with the Avatar was
simultaneously difficult and easy, exasperating and delightful,
but it ever remained a cherished longing of His lovers—to have
the opportunity to journey with Baba.
After being greeted by Narasimha Rao's family, Baba told us
all to leave and to be at His place the next morning by 7:00
sharp. We retired to our quarters which were in a building not
far from Baba's.
Accordingly, the next morning, March 3, all assembled and
Baba, as was His habit, asked various ones how they had slept
the previous night. All seemed to have slept well, which was
not too surprising considering how little sleep any had had the
previous night. Some of the local people came that morning for
Baba's darshan and were introduced to Him. Baba then gestured
that He wanted to visit the homes of His lovers and workers.
The first home visited was that of E. Sathi Raju, and there is
an interesting story connected with Sathi Raju's acceptance of
Baba as the Avatar. Some fifteen years earlier, in 1938, S. Raju
had met a saintly person named R. Ganga Raju. This pious,
God-loving person initiated S. Raju in a special path known as
"Surya-Upasana"—worship of the sun. He taught him to
meditate on Lord Vishnu, visualizing Him centered in the sun.
After some days, S. Raju could hear celestial music during his
meditation and, sometimes, he could feel his kundalini, coiled at
the base of his spine, slowly rise toward the center situated
between his eyebrows. With this experience, a deep peace
would envelop him. He was, therefore, content with his spiritual
practices and even after hearing of Meher Baba from some
people was not particularly interested in Him.
Two events, however, in January 1952 made him change his
mind. On January 2, R. Ganga Raju, whom he considered his
guru, passed away. And then, ten days later, while traveling
267
by train to Madras, a curious yet significant coincidence

occurred. He was talking to a friend who happened to be a
follower of Sai Baba. This friend mentioned that he had recently
heard of a man named Dr. Dhanapathy Rao who was telling
people that Meher Baba was the Avatar of the Age.
When the train pulled into the station at Tadepalligudem, two
men approached the compartment where S. Raju was sitting.
One got in and sat down next to him. This was Y. Ranga Rao
while the man who had come to see him off was none other than
Dr. Dhanapathy Rao himself!
Ranga Rao gave S. Raju a booklet on Avatar Meher Baba
which he happened to have with him and told him, without
mincing any words, that Meher Baba was the Avatar. S. Raju
heard all this with interest but was not drawn to Baba. Later that
year, however, he happened to meet Dhanapathy again and was
given a copy of The Perfect Master: the Life of Shri Meher
Baba by C. B. Purdom to read. This book greatly impressed him
and he began to show a genuine interest in Baba and so he was
invited to attend a three-day sahavas program at Meherabad in
November 1952.
During this meeting, he felt the loving warmth of Baba's
presence and all the bits and pieces of his life seemed to fall
together to make a perfect Baba design. His eyes shone with
ecstasy and as he looked at Baba a few tears coursed down his
cheeks. Later, he wrote: "At the first sight of Baba, I forgot
myself completely and my joy knew no bounds."
He and Dhanapathy garlanded Baba with two beautiful
chemki (tinsel) garlands. To his surprise, although many
garlands were offered to Baba, He seemed to prefer wearing
only the garlands that he and Dhanapathy had offered him. On
the last day of the sahavas, S. Raju whispered to Dhanapathy
that they were most fortunate as Baba had used only their
garlands during the three days.
Perhaps there was not just gratitude, but a little pride as well
in this observation. For, as Baba left the hall on the last day, He
went straight to where Mohammed the mast was waiting for
Him. Baba handed him the two garlands, caressed his face and
then went away. As soon as Baba left, Mohammed
268
took the garlands and crushed them into pieces between two
stones. S. Raju felt that Baba was teaching him a direct lesson:
the love with which the garlands had been presented was
pleasing to Him, but the pride generated in their hearts by His
acceptance of that love offering was not.
Baba's guidance through such personal experiences is heart-
penetrating and lasting too. In one of S. Raju's later visits to
Baba, in a very off-hand manner, looking at him, Baba gestured,
"I am the spiritual Sun." As Baba made this comment, the veil
over His face seemed to thin for an instant, revealing a little
more of His luminous effulgence. Perhaps for many there, this
statement was significant in itself, but for S. Raju it had a
special meaning.
It confirmed to him that Baba knew all about his old spiritual
practice of meditating on the Lord centered in the sun. Baba's
casual comment strengthened S. Raju's conviction in Baba's
omniscience and reassured him that Baba had been guiding his
life, even before he had heard of Him. Even today, Baba
continues to give such reassurances to His lovers who, like
sunflowers, continue to turn to Him, the spiritual Sun.
During Baba's short visit to S. Raju's house on March 2, 1954,
He touched a pair of silver sandals with His feet, at S. Raju's
request. Similarly, at the home of V. V. Narayan Rao, Baba
touched a pair of silver sandals as a gesture of His love for
Narayan Rao. These sandals were then kept by the two men as
sacred mementos of Baba's visit, to be treasured forever.
Baba visited seventeen homes in all, including the homes of
M. Annapurnaiah, the editor of the Velugu paper and M.
Thirumal Rao, who later translated God Speaks into Telugu. In
each house Baba visited, He created a special atmosphere of
intimacy. Each home has a heart-stirring story to be told of
Baba's love, but it seems practical to relate only what transpired
at a few of these visits.
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Baba Asks Questions; Baba Answers Them

When Baba visited the home of L. Subba Rao, his wife, seeing
Baba enter the house, came running toward Him and fell at His
feet, weeping. Overpowered with love, she became
unconscious. Baba's love seemed to fill the house. There was
also a poet there who, on feeling this incredible atmosphere of
love, began spontaneously composing and reciting poems in
praise of Baba, hailing Him as the Avatar. It was a touching
sight to witness.
Seemingly immune to this intense atmosphere, one Baba lover
continued to be absorbed in taking photographs of Meher Baba.
He had been conspicuous throughout Baba's tour in this pursuit
and Baba now turned to him and teased him, "Out of hundreds
of pictures, has even one come out all right?"
When visiting K. Kesavarao's home, it was apparent that the
host was not well. He was standing with outstretched hands for
Baba's embrace. Pointing at him, Baba instructed K. Sastri,
"Tell his family members that he is very fortunate!" Baba then
gave his wife a slab of candy and added, "Break off a piece
every day for the next 101 days; take Baba's name and then give
the piece to your husband. Don't worry."
It was at the house of Hanumantha Rao that Bonala
Venkateswarulu and his family first met Baba. Venkateswarulu
was profoundly affected by this meeting and thereafter took a
very active part in working for Baba in Andhra.
As Baba was being driven to His lovers' homes, He saw a man
standing at the gate of a house. He was holding a plate with fruit
to offer Baba, as well as camphor with which to perform Baba's
arti. This man, G. Venkata Subba Rao, was very devoted to
Lord Siva and was in the habit of repeating His name aloud, so
much so that he was nicknamed "Mahadev Sambho" (a name of
Siva) by the townsfolk.
But as he was devoted to Siva and not to Baba, no visit to his
home had been scheduled. Seeing him at the gate, however,
Baba asked the car to be stopped and blessed the offering by
touching the plate with His hand. Baba asked one of His Andhra
lovers to convey to "Mahadev Sambho" that Baba was
270
Lord Siva Himself. Later, G. V. Subba Rao related to Sathi

Raju that while looking at Baba, he saw Him as Lord Siva.
Baba also visited the home of Y. V. Narasimha Rao, His host,
where He expressed His appreciation for all the care they had
taken of Him. Lastly, Baba went to the home of H.
Sambamurthy, the District Collector. Many of the socially
prominent people of the town had come to see Baba, and were
introduced to Him, one by one.
During this informal gathering, the collector's small boy
suddenly appeared with a book to collect Baba's autograph.
With a smile, Baba explained that as He had stopped speaking,
so also He had stopped writing, but He drew a quick doodle
(perhaps a mischievous chicken) in the child's book.
After arti, the collector's wife asked if Baba would give a
message. Perhaps because most there had come more out of
curiosity rather than love for Meher Baba, or had come simply
because it was the collector who had invited them, in a most
natural manner, yet with great authority, Baba dictated the
following message:
It has been possible through Love, for man to become
God; and when God becomes Man, it is due to His love for
His beings.
If people were to ask Me, "Have you seen God?" I would
reply, "What else is there to see?" If they were to ask Me,
"Are you God?" I would reply, "Who else could I be?" If
they were to ask Me, "Are you the Avatar?" I would reply,
"Why else have I taken this human form?"
So the only message I could give, and have ever been
giving is, "Love God;" and you will find that your own Self
is nothing but God.
Sometimes Baba's messages were cryptic, but this particular
message seems strikingly forthright. While its metaphysical
implications might be so profound as to be unfathomable, its
most immediate meaning is sufficient to direct one to the
heights—love God and become God!
During these house visits, Baba was very quick; there was
never a wasted moment, and yet Baba never seemed hurried.
271
There was always a regal presence about Him; one had the
sense not that Baba was rushing, but that in His divine
atmosphere the pace of everything around Him was accelerated.
Baba was the divinely calm and tranquil eye of the hurricane.
And when Baba left a house after only a few minutes,
something remained behind—in the rooms and in the hearts of
His dear ones for a long time—His presence and the warmth of
His love.
"All Worship. . . Eventually Comes to Me"
Baba finished the house visits early and by 11:15 He had
returned to Narasimha Rao's bungalow. As He was informally
conversing with His close ones, someone requested Him to visit
the Cosmopolitan Club. Baba graciously agreed to do so but
gestured "only five minutes" and added that only if it could be
arranged for Him to stop on His way to the M. S. N. C. High
School where the public darshan was to be held.
These conditions were met and so, at around 3:00 that
afternoon, Baba was received with honor by the members of the
Cosmopolitan Club. Baba conveyed to those who were there,
"Today is the last day of My darshan tour in Andhra. So, if
people keep silent and order is maintained, I intend to give a
special message. In addition to it, I will give fresh dictation on
the spot. Those who want to hear it may come there."
After this loving personal invitation, Baba gave His blessings
to those who were there and then proceeded to the high school
where over four thousand people had already gathered. Baba
was led to His seat on the dais. Before sitting, Baba folded His
hands to the crowd (His own selves). There was a loud round of
warm applause which rang out spontaneously as Baba was
garlanded.
After the welcome address, the three short messages from
Baba were read out in Telugu by Jagannadham Pantulu who
usually performed this task during the Andhra tour. Then Baba
asked Ramjoo to read out the special message, "The Word of
Words" which He had dictated earlier. The last
272
paragraph of this is given below:

The Word that I will speak will go the world as from God,
not as from a philosopher; it will go straight to its heart.
With the dawn of the realization of the unity of all life,
hatred and dissension will come to an end. There will be
unfaltering love and unfailing understanding and men shall
be united in an inviolable brotherhood, based on the realized
Oneness of God.
After Ramjoo read the message in English, it was read out in
Telugu as well. As this was being done, Baba sat in His chair,
His hands resting lightly on the arms, gently raising His palms
and letting them fall while His eyes flashed in different
directions. There was a graceful dignity to Baba which made
even His small gestures, like His tapping the arms of His chair,
very appealing. I would often find myself gazing in wonder at
Baba's forehead which seemed especially resplendent, but
others were equally captivated by Baba's eyes, or His smile.
Truly Baba was divinely beautiful and many in the crowd were
deeply moved by His beautiful divinity.
As He had indicated at the Cosmopolitan Club, after the
translation was complete, Baba began dictating an additional
message on His board:
In the Beyond State of God, sex does not exist; there, only
one indivisible Existence prevails. It is in the realm of
illusionary phenomena, called the universe, that sex asserts
itself.
Babajan, the Perfect Master who, in less than an instant,
made Me experience My Ancient Infinite State, had the
form of a woman. Upasni Maharaj, the Perfect Master who
brought Me down to normal consciousness, had a male
form.
Babajan came from a high noble and rich family. She was
beautiful when she was young. But just before she was
going to be married, owing to her intense longing to be one
with God, she renounced the world. In Poona, with one kiss
273
on My forehead, she made Me realize that I am the Ancient

One. She was about 100 years old at the time, yet, like a true
fakir, she would sit under a tree day and night, in rain or
sun.
Everyone of you, man or woman, of any caste or creed has
an equal right to attain Divinity. I tell you with divine
authority that I experience eternally, consciously and
continually being one with you all and the One in you all.
So, any worship or obeisance done to any deity, animate or
inanimate, to any saint, yogi, advanced soul, or Master,
eventually comes to Me.
Being rich or poor, literate or illiterate, of high caste or of
low caste, need not interfere with your loving God—the
supreme Beloved. By offering pure unadulterated love to
anyone and anything, you will be loving Me. And let Me
assure you on divine authority that we are all one. I give you
all My blessings for the understanding that loving God in
any form, in any way, will make you eternally free.
Following this discourse, Baba distributed prasad for about
two hours. Whenever Baba distributed prasad, there seemed to
be an extra kindliness in His eyes. Although busily engaged in
distributing the bananas or sweets, Baba would find time to
smile at an infant in its mother's arms, sometimes reaching up
and lovingly squeezing its cheeks or patting it gently. It often
seemed as if Baba were the channel through which love flowed
in boundless measure from some invisible source, within Him.
At 6:00, Baba left the pandal and returned to His residence.
Before supper, Baba instructed the mandali to be at His place at
8:00 the next morning.
Yoga Samadhi and Nirvikalpa Samadhi
On the morning of March 4, however, Baba surprised the
mandali by appearing at their quarters a little before 7:00. Baba
embraced all who were traveling with Him from outside of
Andhra, who were leaving that day for their various homes.
274
After this unexpected but heartwarming visit, we all pro-

ceeded to Baba's residence where He informed us of a telegram
He had received from the secretary of the Balyogi Ashram,
Mummidivaram. Baba then had the reply read out: "My love
and blessings to all real Balyogis in the world who are God's
beloved children."
Baba seemed in a very communicative mood. Perhaps He was
relaxed now that the tour was practically over, but at any rate
He began to refer to a variety of profound spiritual subjects with
more than a little wit and humor. Some excerpts from Baba's
talk are given below:
Listen, never has the proverb "all that glitters is not gold,"
been more appropriate than in the spiritual field. Tantric and
other types of yoga, when developed and practiced dili-
gently, result in the practitioner going into a trance or
developing powers. But yoga-samadhi is absolutely dif-
ferent from nirvikalpa samadhi.
Yoga-samadhi is called haal by the Sufis. Those in yoga-
samadhi need not eat food, drink water, sleep, etc. They are
in a state of trance, but when they come down from their
samadhi, they are like ordinary people.
Nirvikalpa samadhi is quite different from yoga-samadhi.
It is deification—becoming God and experiencing the "I am
God" State of the Perfect One, living the "life of God."
Baba continued:
There are three yogis who have been in yoga-samadhi for
hundreds of years; their eyelashes and eyebrows have grown
very long, they have become very lean, but they do not
know Me.
Baba's description and gestures were so graphic that it was
easy to picture those yogis sitting in a trance. The expression on
Baba's face made us feel how lucky we were to be there in His
presence. With a mischievous twinkle in His eye Baba
continued:
Now let me give you an example of "all that glitters is
275
not gold." [In the late '30s] at Meherabad I had a Mad

Ashram, not a Mast Ashram, but a Mad Ashram and the
maddest of all was one called Faqir Bua.
When I closed that ashram, all the mad were sent to their
respective places. Faqir Bua was sent to Poona. One who
was working at Meherabad spread the rumor that I gave My
spiritual charge to Faqir Bua. The result was that this
madman was taken as a Sadguru.
He was made to sit on a big gadi (fancy cushioned
seat/throne). People visited him for his darshan. His every
gesture was taken to be divine. People spent money on him,
took him around the city in a car but Faqir Bua was
absolutely mad.
Baba had those assembled laughing at this ludicrous situation.
Baba's sense of humor was really great and the facial
expressions and gestures He used to express Faqir Bua's insane
behavior were a delight to see.
Baba concluded:
Don't be led astray. Remember, "All that glitters is not
gold." So, be honest. I am the slave of the love of my lovers.
With a smile, Baba added, "There are even some so-called
yogis and gurus who, in their letters, send even Me their
blessings!" Baba's astonishment expressed at this turn of events
again prompted His dear ones to laugh heartily.
Baba then became more serious and began discoursing on the
"four journeys" which He had explained earlier at Kottapeta.
Addressing the difference between a Perfect Master and the
Avatar, Baba conveyed:
In living the life of God, both the Perfect Master and the
Avatar are equal, the same. Both are leading God's life and
also are on every level of life in Illusion. Simultaneously
they are on the level of the lowest to the highest. The most
important difference, however, is that the Perfect Master
acts on that level and the Avatar becomes that. . . .
On every plane the Perfect Master acts as a man of that
plane. The Avatar becomes the man on that plane and that
276
is why the Avatar can give a universal [spiritual] push.

God is [in] everything and in everyone. The Avatar is not
only in everything and [in] everyone, but becomes
everything and everyone. Therefore the fundamental
difference is that the Perfect Master acts whereas the Avatar
becomes.
Later, Baba expanded on this theme and it was included in
God Speaks (second edition, revised and enlarged) as part of the
Supplement.
Ten Minutes and Four Seconds
Baba's discourses, of which I have given only excerpts, went on
for nearly an hour. And they were given with Baba's casual yet
authoritative divinity so that by the end, the hall was surcharged
with His presence. All in the hall were looking at Baba. Some
who had recently come into Baba's contact wondered what
would have happened to them had they not the good fortune to
be accepted by Meher Baba, the Avatar. Their feeling of
gratefulness for Baba's grace was overflowing through their
eyes.
Those from Andhra, in general, were overjoyed at the
opportunity they had been given to spend time in Baba's
company. This had inspired them to want to love Baba more
and more. But now, despite the fullness they felt in Baba's
presence, they could not entirely erase from their minds the
thought that soon Baba would be leaving Andhra for
Mahabaleshwar.
One of His dear ones, V. V. N. Rao, with all respect and
humility spoke out, "Baba, how to retain our contact with You,
the Avatar, constantly?"
His large eyes beaming with light, Baba looked around the
hall and through His board and gestures replied:
Narayan Rao means now that Baba is physically among
you, you feel the contact, but when I leave you, gradually
this cools down. How to retain it constantly?
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Well, do you feel constantly hungry? When you work

hard, you get hungry. When you feel hungry, you take food,
and then you forget about the food. So work for Me in such
a way that you feel hungry for Me. Sometimes think of Me,
sometimes work for Me, sometimes talk about Me, but not
all the time. If you go on eating continually you will get
indigestion!
Before you go to bed, say, "Baba, I entrust all that I did,
thought or spoke, good and bad, to You." When you getup,
say, "Baba, I now begin entrusting all—thoughts, words and
deeds—to You." Say this just twice each day for five
minutes, but with all your heart in it. Do that and make Me
responsible for all you do or think. Then you are free; . . .
but you must do it honestly. This much will be more than
sufficient to maintain the contact with Me.
I am the Ocean; I can accept both flowers, coconuts and
also filth. So throw everything in the Ocean with all your
heart. This is a great thing if done wholeheartedly, otherwise
it goes in your own pool of water which gets filthy because
of your dirt.
Here I would like to share a similar instruction Baba gave
around seven months later. Baba had called some of His men
disciples and devotees from the West to stay with Him for three
weeks at Meherabad. On September 21, during one of His
sittings with the Westerners, He dictated:
The question is how to remember Me. The easiest and
surest way is to do as I tell you. . . . The first thing in the
morning when you get up, before doing anything, think for
one second of Baba. Baba is then worn by your soul: early
in the morning dress your soul with Baba. At twelve noon,
for one second do the same; do it again about 5:00; when
you retire do it also. . . . If you do it I will be always with
you, and you will feel My company. . . . Do it for four
seconds every day, then you will be in the world, yet Baba
will be with you all the time." 35
Amazing! Can it really be that simple? It seems too fantastic
35
The Awakener, Vol. II, No. 3, pp. 54-55.
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to be true, and yet the God-Man in His hukki (whim) has

disclosed this to us. He has made it so simple that many will
doubt it. Or they will try to turn this simplest game of daily
remembrance into some difficult and rigorous chore. We all
have our own way of relating to Baba and I do not mean to
impose my views on any, but I would like to share some of my
thoughts on putting Baba's ten minutes or four seconds into our
lives.
I feel the most important thing is to remember the spirit of
Baba's words. At the times Baba has suggested, we should
lovingly remember Him, not the act of remembering. Therefore
it should not become a ritual or a discipline in our lives. It is a
light-hearted game of remembrance which He has graciously
offered to play with us. We can make it a song, sung for our
delight and His pleasure.
Baba is not interested in teaching us some technique as a
shortcut to Him. He is reminding us, rather, of the eternal Truth
of the God-Man's reassurance that if we trust and follow Him,
He will be with us in our daily lives. Try, and see the wonder of
it; experiment, and feel the delight of it.
When Baba finished answering Narayan Rao's question, the
impact of His compassion was so great that one of His lovers
there began to weep and weep from the emotion he was
experiencing. His body was shaking with excitement and he
could not speak. In between his heart and his vocal chords, his
words had gotten stuck. Baba called the person near and patted
him and lovingly soothed the turmoil in his heart.
Then Baba started embracing, one by one, all of His Andhra
lovers and workers who were there, explaining that He would
not be able to see each of them off individually later on. Not
long after these tearful yet cheerful-with-His-presence
farewells, Baba left Kakinada by car and headed for the train
station at Samalkot.
Who Made the Sick Bogie Fit?
When we arrived at the railway station and went to the
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booking office, Manik (Manikyala Rao) greeted us. This

surprised us for Manik had left on March 2, and Baba had
subsequently asked many of His workers residing in different
places in Andhra Pradesh to return to their homes and not wait
to see Him off at Samalkot. It wasn't until much later that we
learned the full story behind Manik's presence in the booking
office that morning.
On March 2, after the workers’ meeting, many were getting
ready to return to their homes; among those who stood up as if
to leave was Manik.
Baba looked at him in surprise and asked, "Why are you
standing?"
"I have to go to Vijayawada, Baba," Manik replied.
"Why?"
"I have to make some train reservations for You."
"Who asked you to do that?" Baba wanted to know.
Manik replied humbly, "No one, Baba, but I overheard the
arrangements Pendu wants to make on the 4th and I'm going to
talk to my officer at Vijayawada about it."
It had been decided that on March 4, when Baba and party left
Andhra, one entire third class compartment should be reserved
exclusively for the mandali. Also one second class, four-berth
compartment, with an attached coupe for Baba and a few of the
mandali should be obtained. But Manik, who worked for the
railways, knew that it would not be possible to make such
arrangements at Samalkot. Although no one had asked him to
handle this, he took it upon himself to make the necessary
arrangements.
Accordingly, Manik went to Vijayawada and managed to
reserve one third class compartment for the mandali, and a
separate bogie (car) which would be attached at Waltair and
which contained a second class coupe and a four-berth sleeper.
Once these arrangements were made, Manik told his officer he
was going to Samalkot to make sure that all went smoothly on
March 4 when Baba and His party left.
But early on the morning of the 4th, Manik received a call
from his officer in Vijayawada with the news that the
movement officer at Waltair had just phoned to inform him that
the
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reserved second class bogie had been declared "sick." (In

railway parlance, "sick" means the car has been deemed unfit to
travel.) Therefore the bogie could not be attached to the train
and, as there was no stand-by bogie at Waltair, the train would
not have a second class coupe and four-berth compartment on it.
Manik was greatly alarmed to hear this. He requested his
officer, Mr. Amritraj, "to do something, for God's sake" and to
prevail upon the officer at Waltair to get the bogie fit enough at
least to travel as far as Vijayawada where it could be replaced
with another bogie. Mr. Amritraj promised to do his best. So it
was that Manik was still anxiously awaiting word on the bogie
situation when Pankhraj and I arrived.
As it turned out, it was fortunate for us that Manik was there,
for ordinarily it would have been impossible for us to purchase
the return tickets for all those traveling with Baba. This was
because tickets were only sold to nearby stations or junctions
along the route, while some of those with Baba wanted to get
down at small distant stations and even more wanted to change
trains en route.
Manik, anticipating our difficulties, entreated the clerk in a
friendly way to make out tickets for the final destination of each
one in our party. To facilitate matters Manik began calculating
the distances involved, how many miles to Nagpur, to Kanpur,
etc., so he could advise the clerk on how much he should charge
(tickets were sold on a per mile basis). "Don't worry," Manik
assured him, "if it turns out that any ticket has been
underpriced, I will pay the difference." Thus, because of
Manik's help, the mandali and others were spared much bother
and were able to get direct tickets at Samalkot for the entire
journey home.
This whole procedure took quite some time and it was not
long after this that Baba arrived at the station. Manik went over
to see Baba, perhaps to mention the problem that had arisen
with the reserved bogie, but just then a phone call came for him.
Baba gestured, "First, go see what it's all about." Manik went
and discovered that it was his officer in Vijayawada who had
called to inform him that the bogie had been
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repaired well enough at Waltair to travel at least as far as

Vijayawada.
Relieved to hear this good news, Manik returned to Baba who
immediately asked what the phone call had been about. Manik
explained the entire matter to Baba who looked pleased when
the end result was announced. After hearing Manik's whole
story, Baba inquired solicitously, "Now, what about your food?"
"I will take something, Baba," Manik replied but this answer
did not satisfy Baba who called Pendu over and gestured, "You
people are having sumptuous food and you have ignored this
man who is working for you! Now take him to the refreshment
room and see that he has everything you enjoyed!"
This was Baba's way of expressing to Manik His concern and
affection. In fact, Baba had not asked Manik to help make the
travel arrangements, but now it was clear that He appreciated
Manik's consideration in doing this work on his own.
Baba has His own ways of getting His work done through His
lovers and those connected with Him. He works behind the
"seven curtains" quietly to accomplish what He wants, but He
arranges things so that His lovers may feel that they are the ones
who have accomplished something in His cause. This is one of
the personal aspects of Baba's impersonal working, a part of His
Lila and an expression of His unconditional love.
Baba Helps Those Who Long to Obey
Our train arrived at Samalkot a little after noon. It was a
passenger train originating in Puri and going all the way to
Poona. We had traveled from Poona to Vijayawada on it on
February 19 and now we were returning by the same train
approximately two weeks later. The second class bogie which
had been made fit at Waltair, and the third class compartment
reserved for the mandali were both locked so that no one else
could use them. When they were opened we piled in with all of
our luggage.
As the train pulled out of the station we saw a big crowd had
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congregated. They folded their hands and lowered their heads as

a parting salutation to Beloved Baba. We could see tears
trickling down some cheeks. Baba's visit had provided a blessed
relief to the eyes and hearts of His dear ones.
Standing at the door of His compartment, Baba silently raised
His hand to convey His love and blessings to all; in return the
crowd responded by shouting out joyously, "Avatar Meher
Baba, Ki Jai." As the train pulled away, we could see white
handkerchiefs waving in the distance.
Around 2:00 we reached Rajahmundry. There too many had
gathered to get their last glimpse of Baba—the awakener of
their hearts. After this brief but touching reunion where Baba's
lovers took the opportunity to garland Him one more time and
to offer Him their loving namaskars, Baba called for Manik
who was traveling with us as far as Vijayawada.
"If I give you a special assignment, will you carry it out?"
Baba asked Manik. "Most happily," Manik replied. Baba
explained that Janaky, the daughter of Sampath Aiyangar, was
waiting at Vijayawada with her family. They had traveled from
Madras when Baba had given them permission to come see Him
at the train station. But knowing that there was bound to be a
large group of Andhra lovers as well, Baba was worried that
this dear family would not get a chance to take full advantage of
their limited time. Baba wanted Manik to go to Vijayawada,
contact Janaky, and explain to all there that Janaky's family
should come see Him first. Only after Baba gave them darshan
were the others to approach Him.
Manik replied that he would do his best to comply with Baba's
wish. "But how will you do it?" Baba gestured, expressing
surprise. "Baba, this is a passenger train. The Howrah-Madras
Mail will overtake this train and reach Vijayawada first. I will
simply get down and get into the mail and that way I will be
there in time to deliver your message." Baba looked pleased,
even a little impressed at this clever solution to what had
seemed to be a problem.
Manik got down from the train and went to the station
master's office to find out when the Howrah-Madras Mail
would be arriving. He was informed that the train was
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running almost two hours behind schedule. Doing a little quick

calculating, Manik realized that there was more than enough
time for him to travel to Nidadavolu, the next junction where he
could catch the mail train, as it would only take forty minutes to
get there. So, instead of getting down at Rajahmundry, Manik
couldn't resist the temptation of spending forty more minutes
with Baba's mandali.
At Nidadavolu, Manik again got down and inquired when the
mail would arrive. He was told that it was still running an hour
late. As it would take only another forty minutes or so to reach
Tadepalligudem Manik again figured that he could stay on the
train until reaching there and then get down.
However, eleven kilometers from Nidadavolu, as the train
pulled into Navabpalem, with Tadepalligudem still two stops
away, it was shunted onto a side track. Manik felt a cold chill
running down his spine because he knew what this meant; he
had been misinformed about how late the mail was running and
it was now about to overtake them any minute! Sure enough,
soon the mail roared past them without stopping, speeding on to
Tadepalligudem. But it would be gone long before Manik got
there.
When the train did pull into Tadepalligudem, Baba called
Manik. "What's this?" Baba asked. "You said you were going to
catch the mail but it has already passed us!" Manik did not
know what to say. He felt very much ashamed. Nervously he
explained what had happened and then concluded with a rush,
"But Baba, even at Vijayawada I will find a way to see that your
message gets delivered." Despite these brave words, however,
Manik had no idea how he could do this and left Baba's
compartment in quite a state.
Once again, there were many Baba lovers at the station to
greet Baba. Dr. Dhanapathy approached Baba and asked His
permission to offer tea and snacks to Baba and His party. Baba
graciously consented and so Dhanapathy and Bhaskara Raju
lovingly provided refreshments for all. But I doubt that Manik
relished anything he ate or drank.
About two hours later, near 5:30 that afternoon, we arrived at
Eluru. Here an amusing incident took place. After pulling
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into the station some people wheeling long hand carts piled high
with baskets approached the mandali's compartment and began
unloading everything into the already overcrowded space. Some
of the mandali went to the door and began protesting and started
to push everything out when Katta Subba Rao appeared and
explained that this mountain of baskets contained provisions for
Baba's party! There were fruit, sweets, bread, packages of
butter, containers of yogurt and crates of orange juice. The
orange juice we gratefully drank then and there and the rest of
the refreshments were stored for Baba to distribute later on.
It was after 7:00 that night when the train began to pull into
the Vijayawada railway yard, one of the largest in India. Manik
was still very worried about how he could possibly carry out
Baba's order, when the train stopped at an outer signal, still
quite a distance from the actual station and platforms. This
meant that another train was at the platform where the
passenger train was supposed to arrive. Therefore our train had
to wait until the platform was free. Manik, for the first time
since Tadepalligudem, felt a ray of hope, and jumped down
from the train. He began running along the railway track to the
station itself which was around a mile away.
By the time he reached platform seven, where the train was
supposed to arrive, he was so exhausted that he collapsed.
Although he was tormented by the thought that after running all
that way he might not be able to deliver the message after all, he
could not get up. Finally, after a minute or two, he regained his
strength and got to his feet. Once more he set off, but now he
had only enough energy to walk slowly. But he soon saw the
crowd of Baba lovers who had gathered and approached them to
inform the prominent workers about Baba's wish that none
approach Him for darshan until after a family from Madras saw
Baba.
Having done this, he began looking for Janaky's family to tell
them the good news. Someone had told him that they might be
in the waiting room and he started for there when he saw a
family which he did not recognize standing on the
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platform itself. He approached and asked, "Do you belong to

Sampath Aiyangar's family from Madras?" "Yes." Manik felt
immensely relieved and in a very happy mood conveyed Baba's
instructions to them.
It is indeed amazing how Baba helped Manik to be able to
obey His instructions. Perhaps he would have saved himself
many anxious hours if he had simply gotten down at
Rajahmundry to begin with, but the opportunity to spend a few
extra minutes in the company of Baba's mandali proved
irresistible. Even so, his wholehearted desire to atone for his
lapse was such that Baba gave Manik a second chance. In fact,
Baba continues to help, in His silent loving way, anyone who
really longs to obey Him. Just as Manik finished delivering his
message to Janaky's family, Baba's train pulled into the station.
Perfect timing!
Darshan Treat for Janaky's Family
C. V. Sampath Aiyangar was one of Meher Baba's early
disciples from Madras. In the late '20s, with the help of K. S.
Srinivasam and M. Vadivelu, he formed a small dedicated
group of Baba lovers in that city. Being in the judiciary of the
Madras residency, he was often out of the city on duty, but he
still found time to conduct many Baba programs at his house
which he renamed Meher Bhavan.
Sampath Aiyangar was a very sincere and earnest person; a
man not only of great scholarship, but of spiritual vision as
well. Even before meeting Baba, in his daily life, he was
engaged in an attempt to put his spiritual ideals into practice. It
seems from the first he was drawn to Baba, wholeheartedly
accepting his Babaji, as he used to call Meher Baba, as the
living Christ. His love for Baba was profound and he possessed
a remarkable understanding of Baba's teachings.
In March 1930, during Baba's visit to Meher Bhavan, He
approved the formation of "Meher League," a group devoted to
spreading Baba's teachings. Also, Baba inaugurated Meher
Asramam, in the premises of Meher Bhavan, by planting a
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tree in the courtyard. This was to be the site for Baba gatherings
in the future. During Baba's stay with Sampath Aiyangar's
family, it was decided that a quarterly, "Meher Gazette" should
be published with V. T. Laxmi, Sampath's talented daughter, as
the editor.
Despite these many activities, Baba found the time, at
Sampath's request, to help his grandson, Kasthuri, write his first
letter on a slate. It's a Hindu custom that a family have their
children initiated into the process of education by having the
family's guru, or some spiritual figure they look up to, hold the
child's hand and write "Om" or some other sacred word or
symbol on a slate. Out of His love for Sampath Aiyangar, Baba
graciously consented to do this for Kasthuri.
Baba's relationship with the whole Aiyangar family was
indeed a very intimate one. Baba would invariably find some
time to "sneak" away from the adults and play games with
Janaky's (Sampath's other daughter) children. He would play
hide and seek and other games to their great delight and
amusement.
Baba's last visit to Meher Bhavan was in April 1947, a few
years after Sampath Aiyangar passed away. At the end of this
visit, Baba allowed the family members to wash His feet with
milk and honey in the early hours of the morning; a rare
privilege given by Baba to this dear family.
Given such intimacy, over so many years, with the Aiyangar
family, it is not surprising that Baba allowed Janaky to come for
His darshan at Vijayawada or that He took pains to ensure that
they would have some private moments with Him.
Janaky had last seen Baba the year before, in January 1953
while Baba was at Eluru. At that time she had come with her
son Kasthuri and his wife, Leela, who was expecting a baby.
Baba blessed the couple and casually mentioned that if Leela
had a girl she should be named Meherkanti. This time, Janaky
was accompanied not only by her two daughters, her son
Kasthuri, and his wife, Leela, but also by her ten-month-old
granddaughter, Meherkanti.
The family arrived at the station on the morning of March 4
and put up at the Retiring Room. They had to wait for the
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whole day, however, as Baba's train was not expected until

early that night. Meherkanti had a fever and was very restless
and the hours seemed to drag by, although Janaky's excitement
at the prospect of seeing Beloved Baba soon could not be
diminished.
Finally, they assembled on the platform, well before Baba's
train was due, carrying with them a vessel full of halwa
prepared with love by Janaky's dear mother. As none in the
family knew when they would next see Baba, they had decided
to avail themselves of this opportunity to request Baba to
initiate Meherkanti as He had her father, Kasthuri. In the hopes
that Baba would consent, they had brought with them a slate
and a slate pen.
As they were standing on the platform, Manik, whom they
had not met before, approached them and informed them that
Meher Baba wished to see them first when He arrived. They
were overjoyed to hear this and, when Baba's train pulled in,
they rushed to His second class carriage. The other Baba lovers
obediently waited their turn and allowed Janaky's family to be
ushered first into Baba's presence.
They entered Baba's compartment with their eyes riveted on
Baba's winsome, smiling face and their hearts were filled with
joy. For Janaky, once again time stood still in the overwhelming
immediacy of Baba's presence. His divine embrace thrilled
them all.
Janaky humbly offered the halwa to Baba as a gift from
Meher Bhavan and Baba accepted it with great delight. Perhaps
He was remembering His dear Sampath and his wife. Then
Janaky asked Baba if He would be willing to initiate
Meherkanti. Baba looked surprised for a second, perhaps
because of the child's tender age, but He lovingly agreed.
Janaky handed Baba the slate and the slate pen she had brought.
Meherkanti, on the other hand, because of her fever and the
noise and confusion of the railway station, appeared less
enthusiastic about the whole procedure.
She was crying most of the time and refused to be taken out of
her mother's arms. Even so, with the loving patience so
characteristic of Baba, He blessed her and held her tiny hand
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in His as He guided it while He drew on the slate a picture of a

"mischievous chicken!"
In all, the family had nearly fifteen precious minutes with
Baba and then, taking His permission, with gratitude written on
their faces, they got down from Baba's compartment. Adi and
Jal, Baba's brother, then spent time with the family while the
other Andhra Baba lovers got their opportunity to have Baba's
darshan. Jal was an old familiar of the family, having visited
them since the '20s at Baba's request.
As the train prepared to pull out, Baba came to the door of His
bogie so that everyone could see Him one last time. The hearts
of His lovers were enveloped with the joy of seeing Baba, yet
tinged with the poignancy of parting. Kasthuri took some
pictures of Baba inside His compartment as well as a few of
Baba standing at the door as the train pulled out. These are
probably the last photos taken of Beloved Baba during His
second Andhra visit. He looks tired but, nonetheless, full of
compassionate love.
All stood on the platform and waved and followed Baba's
bogie with their eyes until it was out of sight, but they surely
tried to follow Him with their hearts as far as their love could
take them. When Janaky's family returned to their room at the
station, they noticed that Meherkanti was now fast asleep and
her fever was completely gone. A blessed great-grandchild of
Sampath Aiyangar!
Don't Bend Baba's "Guidelines" to Suit Your Ends
As it turned out, Baba did not have to change bogies after all. At
Vijayawada, His bogie was thoroughly checked and repaired so
He could travel all the way to Poona in it. Not long after leaving
Vijaywada, we began unrolling our bedding. Around fifteen
people had gotten down at Vijayawada to catch trains for
Hamirpur and Nagpur so we were not as tightly crowded as we
had been. Still, every bit of space, including the aisles, was
needed to accommodate us. Most were exhausted from the long
darshan trip and went to sleep without difficulty.
289
A few, however, remained awake in turns to see that others

didn't squeeze into our reserved compartment when the train
stopped at each station along the way.
To backtrack a little, there was a personal incident which
occurred that day which I would like to recount. Between
Samalkot and Vijayawada, Baba periodically visited the
mandali's compartment, spending some time with His close
ones. When Baba visited us after Eluru, He saw the pile of
baskets which had been given by K. Subba Rao. Baba
appreciated his hospitality and then began distributing the
contents to those returning to Hamirpur and Nagpur Districts,
gesturing that they should share this with their families and
friends.
After personally handing out various items to a few, Baba told
Sadashiv Patel and Savak to divide the rest among those in the
compartment. I received some fruit, delicacies and a packet of
sweets, wrapped in a shiny plastic bag. Some time later, Baba
asked us if we had enough for our supper. All said it was ample.
Then, with a twinkle in His eye, Baba continued, "You were
extremely well fed in Andhra. Some of you must have even put
on weight! But starting tomorrow, none of you should eat
anything that's leftover from Andhra." At the next station, Baba
got down and returned to His coupe.
I don't know what effect this seemingly simple instruction had
on the others, but for me, after my supper, it precipitated a bit of
a problem, a little conflict. For years my body had been frail
and my digestion delicate. It gets upset even if I overeat just a
little. Hence I am careful never to have too much. I had eaten
what I could for supper and put the sweets on the overhead rack
to enjoy with my breakfast or lunch the following day. But now
Baba's instruction made that impossible. I have a sweet tooth
and I did not want to forego the pleasure of the sweets, but I
knew if I ate them I would not be able to digest them. So what
to do?
As with most temptations, it sounds trivial, and yet I could not
simply put the matter out of my mind. I found my attention
wandering to the thought of the sweets and my eye kept
periodically glancing up at the shiny packet above my head. No
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one knew what was happening within me; I looked calm but I
wasn't. See how even such a simple straightforward instruction
of Baba's can bring to the surface deep rooted, yet often
unsuspected, attachments.
I was jolted out of my preoccupation by the dramatic change
in the sound the train made as it rattled over the tracks.
Suddenly there was an extra loud clattering as we passed over a
long bridge with iron fretwork on both sides. This not only
distracted me from my temptation, but inspired me to discover a
solution to my problem.
Without hesitation, I reached up and took the packet of sweets
down from the rack and then happily dropped them out the
window to disappear in the current of the river we were
crossing. The conflict was resolved! I felt so relieved that I was
left with a sweet taste in my mouth even though I hadn't eaten a
single sweet. And it seemed that with the packet, I also
managed to throw away a temptation that might eventually have
prompted me to disobey Baba.
This little incident may appear quite innocuous but it taught
me an important lesson: if we resolve to obey Baba, the
problems created by our temptations resolve themselves in a
natural way. To some it may not seem very critical whether I
kept a few sweets to enjoy the next day or not, but initial
disobedience always seems insignificant and justifiable.
Sometimes the temptation to disobey appears alluringly
"sweet," but within it lies the long snares of bitterness. Simply
trying honestly to follow Baba, without attempting to bend His
guidelines to suit our own convenience is the safest and
sweetest path.
The next morning, March 5, the sun with its lovely hues and
golden rays appeared on the Eastern horizon—an everyday
ever-renewing miracle which is ignored by most people. For
me, it was a great delight to watch that resplendent ball, looking
so small although thousands of times bigger than the earth,
quietly keeping company with each one in the moving train.
Does not the spiritual Sun, the Avatar, in spite of being the
Infinite One, offer to become a companion to each? The
problem is that although we need Him, we do not always want
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Him.
Unlike the previous day, Baba did not visit the mandali's
compartment and the day passed without any special incident,
except for one small personal detail that I recall. Near midday
the train reached Raichur where lunch had been ordered in
advance for us all. We quickly rushed to the refreshment room
to eat the simple South Indian meal of rice, sambhar and
papadam before the train left. As I was eating I happened to bite
into a small white pebble which had been carelessly left in the
rice. It was crushed into pieces and I had to spit out the whole
mouthful and it spoiled my lunch.
This vividly reminded me, by comparison, of the clean, rich
food which had been carefully and lovingly prepared for Baba
and His people during the entire Andhra tour. In living with
Baba, one has to be ready for comforts as well as discomforts.
You have to take life as it comes and accept tasty meals and
bland inedible dishes as His wish.
One other thought came to me with great certainty—that if I
had saved some of the sweets and substituted them for the ill
cooked station food, those sweets would have proved most
bitter spiritually. If I had disobeyed, I would have displeased
Baba and the incredible richness of the Andhra darshan tour
would have been ruined and lost for me. In following Baba, one
should never treat His wish lightly. There can be no
compromise with the Avatar's instructions because they come
from the very Source of wisdom, love and compassion.
All Glory to Meher Baba, the Avatar!
It was past midnight when the train pulled into Kurduwadi.
Most of the mandali were asleep and I did not wish to disturb
them; to the few who were awake I said in a hushed voice,
"Good-bye folks. See you in Baba's time."
I got down holding in my hand the small tin suitcase which I
still use during my travels. The place where I stepped down
onto the platform was close to the spot where, two weeks
earlier, I had boarded the train to accompany Beloved Baba to
292
Andhra. But now what a difference! I was parting from Him

and I felt that the whole glorious experience had ended too
soon.
As I started to walk away, my steps inadvertently led me
toward Baba's second class coupe. Foolishly, I hoped I might
get a last glimpse of Him, but the doors and windows were
closed. I waited there silently, however, on the off chance that
His window might be opened. What madness! The closed
doors, however, could not obstruct the flow of Baba's presence
and I stood happily glued to the spot until the engine whistled
and the train pulled out of the station.
For a while my mind and heart raced along with the wheels of
Baba's compartment but eventually, coming back to myself, I
lifted the little suitcase and with a heart both heavy and joyous I
walked to my home.
Next morning, March 6, Adi drove Baba from the Poona
station to Bindra House where Baba had His bath and breakfast.
Then Adi drove Baba to Mahabaleshwar and thus ended the
glorious Andhra darshan tour.
And yet, the "darshan experience" of those who met Baba
continues. Outwardly, some were merely charmed by His
personality, but remained unconvinced of His divinity. Some
felt the impact of His love and came away feeling that He was
an exceptional individual, but not necessarily the God-Man. Yet
even these will find their unconscious journey to God quickened
because of His enlivening contact.
For a few, however, Baba's "call" resounded in the deepest
recesses of their beings and their hearts responded by accepting
Him as God-become-Man, the Avatar. For those who were
meeting Baba for the first time, it changed the direction of their
lives, reorienting them to Him. For those who had previously
accepted Baba, this darshan tour deepened their conviction in
Him and gave them a greater awareness of His presence as
"awakened love."
Baba's darshan had as many facets as there were people who
received it, and it continues to this day. For Baba's darshan is a
dispensation in silence of His compassion; His giving of
Himself as selfless divine love, to the measure one is ready to
293
receive it. This darshan was made manifest in Hamirpur

District and Andhra but is available today to any who approach
Him with love. The story of Baba's Hamirpur and Andhra
darshan tour is also the story of our own hearts once they are
awakened by His love.
So it is that I often revisit those exciting exhilarating days. As
the many lively incidents file past in my thoughts, the tides of
wonder and delight envelop me. When I fly back to those years
I can still visualize the events, and a heartwarming Hamirpur-
Andhra nostalgia steals over me. The incidents appear before
me like a flock of cranes, with wings spread wide, gracefully
flying high up in the sky; they seem to suddenly appear for a
while out of nowhere, just to disappear beyond the horizon. The
spiritual splendor of those simple, humorous and profound Baba
days often casts a tender spell over me. Like deep, passionate
musical notes they bring me the joys and agonies of many
yearning hearts.
Francis Brabazon accompanied Beloved Baba during the
entire Andhra tour and on his return to Australia he wrote a
thrilling and graphic poetic account of his journey with the
God-Man. The following excerpt from that book, which also
represents the feelings of many a heart, expresses how deeply
he was touched by Meher Baba's love during this Andhra
darshan:
Whether Meher Baba is the totality of Godhood or not, I
have personally no way of knowing—I can only measure to
my own degree. But to that degree, he is the embodiment of
that ideal which I call God. Since Beauty and knowledge
has been the only God I have ever worshipped or pursued,
and since this man appeals to my eyes as the very
embodiment and manifestation of Beauty and knowledge, I
call him God. Not only the all-forgiveness and humour in
his eyes, but the very movements of his hands and body,
have unlocked regions within me which were unknown to
me before.
No man or woman, no flight of thought, no aesthetic
experience, no sublimity of nature, has touched the depths
294
of me as this man has. I have met no one, or experienced no

experience, which has melted my heart or sharpened my
intellect as he has.
So it was that when the people of Andhra in their
thousands, folded their hands before him in devotion, I, in
each one of them, folded my hands and bowed in my heart
before the purity and completeness of his beauty. My own
goal is that in that purity I become annihilate.
That man is the God-man who makes the path easy—
Nay, who wipes out the path altogether,
Goes straight to the heart of the matter
And gives one realization of the one Self. 36
Many seasons have passed by, but the spring of Baba's
darshan continues to remain fresh in my memory, with its
glowing blossoms. Finding oneself in the love-orbit of the God-
Man is a wonderful and exciting experience; the gift of His love
opens the hearts of His dear ones to His eternal Beauty, His
Glory, His existence as Love.
At the close of this volume, Meher Baba's messages given
during the "darshan days" flash through my mind and stir my
heart. Each of them has the superb depth of the Avatar's wisdom
and the warmth of His magnetic love. But how can my words,
which are poor props, ever reach the profound sanctity of
Baba's presence felt in one's heart? To choose some concluding
statements of Beloved Baba from those days to share with those
who now seek Him and His darshan with open hearts, has
become for me a delightfully confusing task.
At this juncture, out of the many matchless messages given by
Meher Baba, I recall His following words of penetrating beauty
and divinity—the words that let His unconditional compassion,
love and divine assurance trickle through:
Everything is Mine except Myself;
Myself is for those who love Me.
I am the Ancient One,
the Highest of the High.
36
Journey With God, p. 17.
295
Love Me; Love Me; Love Me;

and you will find Me.
Let the bells ring!

All glory to Meher Baba, to Him, the Avatar!!!
296
GLOSSARY
arti: A cry of the yearning heart; an ancient Hindu method of

concluding worship. Traditionally, at the time of arti, small
lighted lamps or joss sticks are slowly waved in a circle before
the person, idol or picture of the deity, saint, Man-God or God-
Man being worshipped, while a special song with a theme or
refrain of offering oneself to the One worshipped is sung.
Meher Baba's lovers do not necessarily do this when His arti is
sung.
avatar, an: An incarnation manifesting a specific divine quality.
Avatar, the: "God-become-man." The incarnation of God, the
infinite, in a finite human form. The God-Man, Messiah, Christ,
Rasool, Saheb-e-Zaman.
Bhagavad Gita, the: Lit., "Song of the Lord." A section of the

Hindu epic, the Mahabharata, consisting of a colloquy between
Krishna and Arjuna on the eve of battle. It was in the Bhagavad
Gita that the Avatar, as Krishna, revealed the Avatar's status as
being everyone and everything, and also beyond everyone and
everything.
bhakti: Wholehearted devotion.
bhakti-yoga: A path of devotion.
bhajan: A devotional song or the singing of devotional songs.
baqa: Abiding.
baqa-billah: Abiding in God; the state of consciousness
experienced by the Perfect Ones.
chappals: Sandals.
chilla: Engaging for forty days in worship, austerities.
choultry: A resting place for visitors where rooms and food are
provided by a charitable institution for nominal rates.
dal (also dhal): A common preparation made from any of
several types of lentils grown in India.
darshan: Formal or informal audience given by the Master who
bestows his blessings on his devotees or visitors and
297
GLOSSARY
receives their homage. Sometimes the Master uses the occasion

to distribute prasad as well; also the act of bowing in reverence.
dharamshala: A free rest house for travelers.
dhoti: A long white cloth worn by men from the waist and
wrapped around the legs.
dnyan: Gnosis, Real Knowledge, discrimination.
dnyan-yoga: A path of discrimination.
fana: Annihilation.
fana-fillah: The "I am God" state of the realized Ones.
gadi: Lit., mattress. A seat or throne.

ghazal: A short love poem. An ode. A special poetic
composition in Persian, Urdu or Hindi.
halwa: A sweet preparation, made from farina.

hu-tu-tu: An outdoor Indian game played by two teams
consisting of nine to eleven players each on a rectangular area
of 40' x 25'. The goal is to cross mid-field into the opponents'
side and touch a player and then return safely to your group
while repeating "hu-tu-tu" continuously in one breath. If the
other team can hold you and prevent you from returning in time
you are out.
jap: Repetition of a name of God or any sacred word.

jhopri: (Sometimes spelled zopdi), a hut.
kabaddi: An outdoor Indian game, similar to hu-tu-tu.

karma: The working of the law of action and reaction in
relation to oneself and others. Fate. The happenings in one's
lifetime preconditioned by one's past lives.
karma-yoga: A path of selfless action.
kirtan: A performance glorifying God or the God-Man through
songs and stories.
Koran, the: The holy book of the Moslems.
kundalini: The vital force residing at the base of the spine,
symbolically represented as a coiled serpent.
298
GLOSSARY
kuti: A hut.
Lila: God's "Divine Sport." In a general sense, playful

activities.
mandali: The intimate disciples of a Perfect Master or the

Avatar; a group associated with a common activity.
mantra: A sacred name or phrase repeated to invoke God.
mast: (Pronounced "must"), a God-intoxicated person on the
spiritual path.
Maya: Lit., illusion—that which does not exist. The principle of
Ignorance which makes the Nothing appear as everything. In a
general sense, false attachment.
mayavic: Pertaining to Maya.
muni: A great sage.
naaz: A caprice, whim of a beloved or of the Divine Beloved.

namaskar: The placing of one's palms together as a sign of
respect or greeting.
nirvana: The first stage of the final fana; the absolute vacuum
state.
nirvikalpa-samadhi: The "I am God" state of the Perfect Ones;
divinity in expression.
niyaz: Lit., prayer, supplication. In a general sense, the response
to the beloved's naaz.
nullah: A gully.
pachadi: A South Indian dish, chutney.

pan: A masticatory containing a few spices wrapped in a betel
leaf.
pandal: An awning.
papadam: A crispy snack.
parwana: A moth.
payasam: Sweetened milk with cooked rice, raisins, almonds,
etc.
perngu: Yogurt, curds.
prasad: Lit., a gracious gift. Anything, usually edible, given by
a saint, Perfect Master or the Avatar to their followers.
299
GLOSSARY
Anything, usually edible, that is first offered to a deity, saint,

Perfect Master or the Avatar and then distributed in His name.
puja: A worship.
pulihara: Special spiced rice dish, "yellow" rice.
qawwal: One who sings ghazals and qawwalis.

qawwali: A characteristic type of singing, usually in Urdu,
accompanied by musical instruments. Often these songs are
addressed to the Beloved in a very intimate way.
Qutub: Lit., hub or axis. A Perfect Master.
qutubiat: The state of a Qutub.
raj-yoga: A path of meditation.

Ramayana, the: The ancient Indian epic recounting the life of
Rama, the Avatar.
rishi: A seer. A hermit with spiritual wisdom.
sadra (also sadhra): A thin, ankle length muslin shirt.

Sadguru: A Perfect Master, Man-God.
sadhu: A pilgrim, an advanced soul.
sahavas: Lit., close companionship. An opportunity given by
the Avatar to spend time with Him and to intimately feel His
presence. A gathering held in His honor where His lovers and
followers meet to remember Him.
samadhi: In a general sense, a trance induced by spiritual
meditation. Also a place where the body or the last remains of a
saint, a Perfect Master or the Avatar are interred.
sambhar: A spicy liquid dish served with rice.
sanaui: An Indian reed instrument somewhat similar to a
clarinet.
sanyasi: One who has renounced the world and its ways.
shama: A flame.
shastipurti: The celebration of the 60th birthday.
shastri: One who is well versed in the Hindu scriptures or
shastras.
talib: An aspirant.
300
GLOSSARY
tapas: Penance.
tapasvi: One who practices penance.
uppama: A spicy South Indian breakfast dish.
yoga: Lit., union. A method and practice leading to conscious

union with God.
yoga-samadhi: A trance induced by yogic practices.
zikr: The repetition of God's name.
301
BlBLlOGRAPHY
There are several books by Meher Baba and many on His life
and teachings. For the sake of convenience, only some are
included in this list.
BOOKS BY MEHER BABA
Beams from Meher Baba on the Spiritual Panorama. San

Francisco: Sufism Reoriented, Inc., 1958.
Discourses. 7th edition. Myrtle Beach, SC: Sheriar Press, 1987.
The Everything and The Nothing. Beacon Hill, N.S.W.,
Australia: Meher House Publications, 1963.
God Speaks. 2nd edition revised and enlarged. New York:
Dodd, Mead, 1973.
Life at Its Best. New York: Harper and Row, 1972.
BOOKS ABOUT MEHER BABA
Avatar by Jean Adriel. Berkeley, CA: John F. Kennedy

University Press, 1971.
Because of Love: My Life and Art with Meher Baba by
Rano Gayley. Myrtle Beach, SC: Sheriar Press, 1983.
The Beloved by Naosherwan Anzar. Myrtle Beach, SC: Sheriar
Press, 1974.
The Dance of Love: My Life with Meher Baba by Margaret
Craske. Myrtle Beach, SC: Sheriar Press, 1980.
The East-West Gathering by Francis Brabazon. Beacon Hill,
N.S.W., Australia: Meher House Publications, 1963.
82 Family Letters to the Western Family of Lovers and
Followers of Meher Baba written by Mani (Manija Sheriar
Irani) from December 1956 to
August 1969. Myrtle Beach, SC: Sheriar Press, 1976.
Glimpses of the God-Man, Meher Baba by Bal Natu. Vol. I
(January 1943 - 1948), Walnut Creek, CA: Sufism
Reoriented, Inc., 1977. Vol II (January 1949 - 1952),
Bombay: Meher House Publications, 1979. Vol. III
302
BIBLIOGRAPHY
(February 1952 - February 1953), Myrtle Beach, SC: Sheriar

Press, 1982. Vol. IV (February - December 1953), Myrtle
Beach, SC: Sheriar Press, 1984.
The God-Man by C. B. Purdom. Crescent Beach, SC: Sheriar
Press, 1971.
How a Master Works by Ivy Oneita Duce. Walnut Creek, CA:
Sufism Reoriented, Inc., 1975.
Journey with God by Francis Brabazon. Beacon Hill, N.S.W.,
Australia: Beacon Hill Publishing Co., 1954.
Letters from the Mandali of Avatar Meher Baba compiled
by Jim Mistry. Myrtle Beach, SC: Sheriar Press, 1981. Vol.
II, Myrtle Beach, SC: Sheriar Press, 1983.
The Life Circulars of Avatar Meher Baba. Hyderabad, India:
Meher Vihar Trust, 1968.
Listen, Humanity narrated and edited by D.E. Stevens. New
York: Harper and Row, 1971.
Love Alone Prevails by Kitty Davy. Myrtle Beach, SC: Sheriar
Press, 1981.
Much Silence by Tom and Dorothy Hopkinson. New York:
Dodd, Mead, 1975.
The Silent Word: Being Some Chapters of the Life and
Time of Avatar Meher Baba by Francis Brabazon.
Bombay: Meher House Publications, 1978.
The Wayfarers (Meher Baba with the God-intoxicated) by
William Donkin. Ahmednagar, India: Meher Publications,
1949.
While the World Slept: Stories from Bhau Kalchuri's Life
with Avatar Meher Baba by Bhau Kalchuri. North Myrtle
Beach, SC: Manifestation, Inc., 1984.
OTHER BOOKS
In Dust I Sing by Francis Brabazon. Berkeley, CA: Beguine

Library, 1974.
The Mastery of Consciousness by Allan Y. Cohen. New York:
Harper and Row, 1977.
The Nothing and The Everything by Bhau Kalchuri. North
Myrtle Beach, SC: Manifestation, Inc., 1982.
303
BIBLIOGRAPHY
MAGAZINES DEVOTED TO MEHER BABA
The Awakener (Biannual), Editor, Filis Frederick: 93818th

Street, Hermosa Beach, California 90254, USA.
Glow International (Quarterly), Editors, Freiny Nalavala and
Naosherwan Anzar: 36 Lytton Road, Dehra Dun, U.P.,
India. ∗
∗
For a complete list of books by or about Meher Baba write:
Sheriar Press
3005 Highway 17 N. ByPass
Myrtle Beach, South Carolina 29577
USA
304

Bal Natu - Glimpses of The God-Man, Meher Baba Vol V (1987)

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GLIMPSES of the GOD-MAN

Vol. 2 published in Bombay, India by Meher House

Vol. 3 published in Myrtle Beach, S.C. by Sheriar Press.

Includes bibliographical references.

1. Meher Baba, 1894-1969. 2. Religious biography—India.

BP610.M432N37 1977 299'.93 [B] 79-913293

Books by the same author:

Glimpses of the God-Man, Meher Baba

Books compiled by the same author:

Avatar Meher Baba Bibliography

First things first: my deepest gratitude to Avatar Meher Baba

It is always a great delight to acknowledge debts and record our

Beloved Baba, have become companions to many: some like to

This fifth volume of Glimpses covers just nine weeks of Avatar

Meher Baba presented a unique dispensation—a selfless giving

This adage is most applicable when God descends on earth as

loving remembrance of the God-Man as Love. To discover

1. The Avatar's Game of Concealing and Revealing

Babajan Unveils "The Avatar" in Merwan 1

2. Second Visit to Hamirpur District Begins—

Correspondence about Darshan Programs 18

3. Discomforts and Delights of the Hamirpur

The Avatar's Whim Has Rhyme and Reason 40

4. "Avatar Meher Baba Ki Jai!"—1954, Part IV

Rock-like Faith, Flame-like Love 60

5. Baba Leaves Mahabaleshwar for Andhra—

Small Darshan at Poona Railway Station 88

6. Machilipatnam and Gudiwada—1954, Part VI

Baba Keeps the Pot Boiling! 117

7. Memorable Stay at Eluru—1954, Part VII

"Breaking" the Silence 130

8. The Sixtieth Birthday—1954, Part VIII

Midnight Visit to Penugonda 154

9. Shama-Parwana and Some

Divine Shama: The Illusion-Consuming Flame 174

10. Kovvur to Kottapeta—1954, Part X

Baba's Darshan Is Ever New 203

11. Meher Baba Explains "Real Work" at

Baba and His Workers Reach the Gurukul 232

12. The Glorious Andhra Darshan Tour Ends—

"So Many Seek, So Few Find" 264

matchless kiss that made Merwan experience the Reality of His

Merwan began to experience something akin to electric shocks

Khud bekhud azad budi, khud gireftar amadi;

When freely translated, this means:

You were absolutely Free

In an arti which Merwan composed on Babajan, not too long

Tan karoon gar kaphshe paye, Hazrat-e-Roshan Zameer;

In later years, whenever anyone spoke of Babajan in Meher

early '20s, Merwan composed songs of praise (artis) in honor of

Baba, however, always encouraged people, even His adver-

Baba does not impose anything on anyone but allows one's

The Living Christ—Whose beauty the very heavens cannot

the darshan tours, He would like to spend some time in a quiet,

programmes at Hamirpur and Andhra both be curtailed or

equally surrender to Baba's decision and shall cheerfully

program—to freely express all their ideas and views on the

Easy to Write; Difficult to Do

coming among humanity is like an elevator to God being

tence. If, on the contrary, meditation were to remind one of

brother), Pendu, Eruch, Aloba, Kumar, Bhau and Kishan Singh

Language of the Heart

duty. Meher Baba's contacts with the masts, including spiritual