kaaviya

PSLE stress takes its toll on some children

SINGAPORE - On weekdays, he stayed

up late to complete his homework and
past-year exam papers. On weekends, the
Primary 6 student would be whisked off
to other non-academic classes. This was
his schedule to prepare for the Primary
School Leaving Examination (PSLE).
Dozing off on car rides was his way of
catching up on sleep. This went on for
nearly a year, before the boy broke down
and went hysterical, said psychologist
Daniel Koh. It was only then that the 12-
year-old's parents realised that they had
pushed him over the edge. By then, it was
too late.

Every child reacts differently to exam stress, said Dr Ken Ung, a senior consultant at
Adam Road Medical Centre. It could be in the form of unexplained insomnia,
stomachaches, and headaches. In more extreme cases, it could drive children to cutting and
scratching themselves, he said. Yesterday, The New Paper reported that a Primary 6 boy
apparently wrote a letter saying he was stressed out by the coming PSLE exam before he
went missing for three days.

The boy was found on Thursday and reunited with his family.

Now, instead of engaging tutors for her son on her terms, she checks with him regularly to
make sure he is coping well in school. While stress is inevitable when it comes to major
exams like the PSLE, child psychiatrist Brian Yeo said parents should be conscious of the
message they are sending to their children. "Some parents unconsciously stress out their
children with their thoughts, actions and behaviour," he said. One such instance is
comparing the child with other children. "You may not overtly say so, but the child is
affected."

Mrs Bernadette Lim, 43, admits to giving her son too much stress when he was in Primary 6
last year. She arranged for a tutor for every subject that year although he did not have any
problems with his school work. "He was always an above-average student," said the
housewife. "But I wanted him to do better to get into a top school." Only when he refused to
go to school did she realise that something was wrong.

Singapore Children's Society's youth services director, Dr Carol Balhetchet, said parents
need to manage their expectations. She cited an example of a Primary 6 boy who did well
enough in PSLE to get to a secondary school that was slightly above average. His parents,
however, wanted him to retake his PSLE so that he could get into a top school. "I think that's
very unfair," said Dr Balhetchet.

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Different perspective

To help parents battle this stress, Dr Yeo tries to show them a different perspective when it comes to exams like the PSLE.

"While it is important to do well in school, at the end of the day, PSLE is a bridge to the child's next stage in life," said Dr Yeo. "It is okay so long as you
can do sufficiently well to enter the next stage." To make sure children do not burn out under exam stress, Dr Ung emphasises the importance of balance.

"Stress comes when balance is lost. If the kid is working hard, he or she should be allowed down time to play hard and relax," he said. Dr Balhetchet
agrees. She saw no point in depriving children of the freedom to do what they want. "We might as well put our children in little prisons, give them books
and put in some food," she said.

How to Tell If Your Child is Stressed Out

When a child runs away, it is an act that sends a few messages, said psychologist Daniel Koh. "They might be running away symbolically from the
problem so that they don't have to deal with it or face the consequences," he said.

The most obvious sign of examination stress is a change in behaviour, Mr Koh said. "A bubbly child might suddenly become restrained and refuse to
spend time with the family. They might also display a lack of concentration and take a longer time to do something they used to be able to accomplish
very fast. There might also be a change in the sleeping and eating patterns," he said.

Singapore Children's Society executive director Alfred Tan listed some possible reasons a child would run away from home:

Inability to cope with the expectations set by parents or guardians;

Family issues that may have resulted in the young person feeling helpless about getting support for his problems;

Personal problems which may distract him from concentrating on his studies.

Mr Tan said that the child might be unnecessarily angry or upset during normal conversations with family members. The child might also post hints of
distress on blogs or Facebook, which parents or friends who have access to should monitor.

When faced with such situations, parents should talk to the child or meet his teachers to discuss a coping strategy. Mr Koh added: "Parents must avoid
being too caught up with their anxiety over exams to the point that they fail to see what the child is really going through.

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