MAY 2020 ` 80

EMBRACING
HAPPINESS
THE CASTING
COUCH
MANAGING
CONFLICT WITH
HUMOR

THE YOUNG
BRIDE
IS SEX HEALTHY
EVERYDAY

ADDING SPICE TO
YOUR OLD LOVE
GESTURES THAT MAKE
WOMEN FEEL LOVED
ONLINE DATING THE
VIRTUES & DOWNSIDES
EDITORIAL
ADMINISTRATION FAILURE DURING COVID 19

L
ocking down a country of 1.3
billion people can surely be an
administrative nightmare. So, we
started by speaking to an administrator
with over four decades of experience.
In times of such crises, you need
discussion, first within the cabinet,
then with bureaucrats, and you need
contrary opinions. The labour ministry
has a dedicated department for
handling migrant labourers ever since
the Inter-State Migrant Workmen Act
came into being in 1979. Where are
they? Has anybody seen the labour
minister of late?
Had there been some simple
planning, the labourer’s movement
would not have snowballed into such a
mammoth crisis. The ideal thing to do
was to cater to their needs wherever
they were. Setting up camps and
arranging basic provision and some cash
in hand. It doesn’t take much efforts for
BDOs to organize these camps. This
basic administrative input was missing
since there was zero consultation. After
that, a relatively small number of
labourers would have wanted to go
home. That could have been arranged without much hassle.
It was obvious from the earliest starting point that a warm underdeveloped nation like
India was following an unexpected direction in comparison to, state, Italy or Spain, with
regards to the spread of the sickness. Here it was spreading more slow, and as a result of the
generally more youthful age profile of our populace and natural invulnerability, fatalities
were considerably less than in European nations.
Be that as it may, we obtained the lockdown model from those nations and put together
it with respect to Armageddon expectations from numerical models without thinking about
the ground reality. Had there been some sensible arranging, the legislature would have
understood that it had some an ideal opportunity to get ready before going into the
lockdown. And afterward the choice to open was similarly strange, if not more. Every single
logical model prompt opening just when you see a supported diminishing in the day by day
number of new cases.
Then comes the issue of the migrant labourers. Within days of the lockdown
announcement, the migrant issue was looming large. The government sat on it trying to delay
the inevitable. We let them suffer without money or job for two months. Finally, we gave up,
and the migrant labourers, a majority of whom were by now infected, streamed out of
urban red zones of the country and carried the infection into green rural India.

We MAY 2020
 The absence of robust screening until it was “far too late” revealed failures across
government. The administration had “incredibly limited” views of the pathogen’s potential
impact and the lapse enabled “exponential growth of cases.” The early inability to test was
“a failing” of the administration’s response to a deadly, global pandemic.
Even if they had acted in a certain way to curb it out, they cannot beat the strain of
coronavirus. It’s a virus which, of course is not enacted or controlled by human.

INTELLIGENT CORONAVIRUS CHOOSES TO TARGET HOMO SAPIENS ONLY

COVID-19 is a wise pathogen, in any event more insightful than the freezing homo sapiens.
This is for two reasons. To begin with, not at all like some unintelligent pathogens which
execute their hosts, Coronavirus is epidemiologically fruitful, having a death pace of just 3%.
Also, misusing the vulnerabilities of human brain science, it is causing devastation and
making his ground.
Nature is never in a condition of confusion. Each component in nature is in outright
arrangement with different components. Homosapiens carry on inconsistently in light of the
fact that their brain (intensity of limitless creative mind) can make diverse bogus real factors
in the observation that are not there in actuality. Adjusting the recognition to real the truth
is the objective of homo sapiens as species. It implies having the option to see the operations
of nature in their unique structure, for example "reality for what it's worth".
Like different pathogens, Coronavirus will likewise make its space in the biological system.
Individuals will get safe to this new infection and in times to come, COVID-19 will be much the
same as occasional flu.
Be it pathogens, creatures or people, each segment of nature is an entire and furthermore
a piece of a greater entirety. Each component is finished in itself and has a job in the greater
framework. Presence is conjunction with all its individual components existing reliantly.
Life is described by harmony and its hidden substance is unity (concurrence and reliance)
between all the components.

WORLD ECONOMY REBOOT TO ZERO

Report says that 34% of people lives in in urban areas and the idea of urbanization is the
centre of quality education, employment, health facilities, sanitation extra but lockdown 1.0
of 21 days proved this concept as a failure cause people found it impossible to survive in the
absence of work.
As everything including economy has crashed badly, to manage the budget and drive
growth, the government, in addition to containing waste (and corruption), would need a
creative fiscal approach that eliminates all personal taxes (direct and indirect), as well as all
corporate taxes, and replace them with a tax on assets and income from assets. Making
money from money should become more difficult.
This approach would support growth strongly, since people would have more money in
their hands; lead to increased investment, since companies will have more money to invest;
reduce asset prices, which would make living more affordable for most; and given that the
value of public and private assets is many, many multiples of GDP, require only a small tax on
assets to enable the government to run a contained deficit. All these efforts cannot prevent
economical crisis but delay it.
It’s futile to conclude anything that what is going to happen next. It can be determined
only either the virus is gone or if it stops infecting us. The only certain thing for now is more
and more Covid 19 positive cases. To cope up with positive cases, the ultimate needs of the
hour are awareness of self-care and optimism for future.
editor@womansera.com We

We MAY 2020
 L
To keep the ife without a partner is like reading the blank pages
surprisingly bound into a book. The pages will be
chemical mere sheets that your thumb will shuffle through
reaction abuzz. very quickly to the end. The hardbound cover you will
By Kalpana M shut very decisively. The end has arrived sooner than
expected. You will rise to take the book to the shelf
Naghnoor where it will stand pretty by its glorious cover. A book
without written pages has no meaning.
Life is very much the same, the man-woman synergy is
what gives meaning to life. It creates human forms, it
propagates life, and it binds a lot of meaning into the
book of life. So, when does love begin to become a part
of your life? It is a combination of psychology,
neuroscience, and biochemistry. When a person who
pleases your eyes comes along a chemical called
dopamine is released. The release of dopamine, in turn,
influences the release of testosterone, which drives you
into a passion. First the visual passion ensuing into
courtship and then physical passion. Precisely why
couples experience higher passion the first few months
in the relationship. Then the dopamine reduces
sufficiently, and the couple begins to concentrate on
other things in their life together, rather than just
physical desire.

We MAY 2020
JUMPING TO IMAGINED CONCLUSION
Among newly married couples, the dopamine
production is high and so is the testosterone, in the
beginning. Then, after the honeymoon period, the
levels fall and sometimes couples wonder what
happened to them and their attraction for each other.
Well, let us unfold the mystery. When the eye gets used
to seeing the person they love daily the dopamine is not
released so much. Therefore, couples fall into a routine
of comfort and other feelings take precedence. Like
comforting each other, doing chores for each other,
and so on. This sometimes the guy with his
testosterone being modulated by the dopamine
thinks the zing in his marriage or between him
and his partner has died. Well, precisely why
we need to understand that visual
attractiveness causes a rise in the secretion
of dopamine. Hence, when the passion has
died down and the wife or partner wears a
sexy dress the rush begins again, the passion
is rekindled. Therefore, please do not jump to
conclusions on the drive of passion between
partners on a mere lack of rush.

THE HAPPY HORMONEAND AMINO ACID

Norepinephrine and phenylethylamine are released
when women are happy in love. This hormone,
norepinephrine makes them want to stay focussed on
one man. She will concentrate on making him happy and
comfortable. Precisely when women fall in love or are
fond of somebody they have this focused need to care.
They shower love by attending to satisfying the needs.
When they make the person happy they feel happy. This
hormone makes them so happy that they do not mind
working hard and even if it means traversing through a
tough terrain for them, they are happy to do so. It is
under the influence of these hormones that women give
into sacrifice and other compromises. Norepinephrine

We MAY 2020
 increases alertness and during stressful situations, it can
cause extreme protective feelings. It is what makes
women into caring people.
Phenylethylamine is a biosynthesized amino acid, a
neuromodulator. Phenylethylamine is found in many
organisms and in foods. It is found in chocolates too.
Precisely why chocolates make people happy. On certain
occasions and a peace-giving, the chocolate is put to
good use, it elevates the moods couple on a date often
share chocolates, it enhances passion between the
couple. But some people who are prone to migraine may
want to avoid chocolates.

THIS OXYTOCIN
HORMONE Oxytocin is a peptide hormone which is secreted by the
hypothalamus and released by the posterior pituitary
INFLUENCES glands. This hormone influences people into social
PEOPLE bonding. It makes people think of having children. It
INTO SOCIAL helps women through childbirth adding value to the
BONDING. process and during nursing the baby and bonding with
the baby. Therefore, we need to stop for a minute before
assuming things on mere reactions of others. Perhaps
sometimes a woman may be very tired after a harrowing
childbirth and the oxytocin lying low, she may not be so
receiving of her new-born, that does not mean anything,
or she does not love her child. The love and bonding will
be inert and there, even as low as the oxytocin. On the
other hand, it may be so high that the bonding with the
baby may superimpose all other relationships as she
nurses the baby and the oxytocin is released. It does not
mean she loves her husband or partner any less!
Remember it is the hormones!
So, now we know how these hormones and the amino
acid play on our emotions. But as mentioned psychology
too plays a very important role. There are a set of
attachment styles. These are formed in early, impressive
ages and these patterns dictate the way we relate to
people and our families and especially to the partner. It is
good to know about these styles as there are our

We MAY 2020
emotional quotients defining our relationships.

SECURE ATTACHMENT
A secure attachment is claimed by people who have
felt steady in relationships through their childhood. They
tend to explore the world independently. A woman with
the secure attachment style of relationship will feel
secure, and show it toward her partner, she will be open,
honest, willing to help at most times and will be sensitive
to her partner’s reaction and distress. She will also give
her partner all the freedom he requires and space
as she is very comfortable in the relationship, not
because he makes her feel secure, but that her
predisposition is toward a secure attachment.
When so much security comes into a
relationship it is advisable to recognise it and
reciprocate it. It makes the bonding joyous
for all.

ANXIOUS-PREOCCUPIED
ATTACHMENT
Here the individual believes in a fantasy bond,
where she hopes another person will complete her
happiness while in contrast, a Secure Attachment were
the individual will give all the assurances herself. People
with an Anxious Preoccupied Attachment tend to be
clingy. They require the other in the relationship to be
there for them. Like let me give you an example, the man
may be completely capable of serving himself food, but
he expects his wife spoon the food onto his plate. This is
seen in most households as a duty. It is his requirement
to be emotionally complete while eating to have
someone sit beside him and the caring that comes with
it. Sometimes the woman will be sick, in which case he
will not force her to serve him his food. Then all falls into
place, but on a day when her sister or a friend visits, then
he will expect her to serve him food, and his anxiousness
surmounts when she asks, ‘Can you not serve yourself’, a

We MAY 2020
 disagreement will then issue.
Therefore, if the partner with the Anxious
Preoccupied Attachment recognises the facts of his
reaction in the relationship, he may not be harsh on his
wife. Also, the wife may not think of him being
draconian in his ways. The other scenario may be that
the female in the relationship has Anxious Preoccupied
Attachment, she will constantly look out for her
husband if he is late for a family get-together. When he
arrives very late, she will be furious. So, a
misunderstanding will surmount, and the husband will
see her as being unreasonable in the event he was busy
and yet carved out time between work and a meeting
THE MOST to reach the family get-together! So, if the partners can
IMPORTANT recognise the Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment, in
their partners and in themselves, then there can be a
THING IS TO beautiful relationship in full blossom always!
KNOW YOUR
EMOTIONAL DISMISSIVE-AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT
STYLE OF Persons with this type of attachment profile will
ATTACHMENT. emotionally distance themselves from their partner,
they are quite reassured within their emotional zone.
They engulf themselves in the notion of ‘pseudo-
emotional independence’, when they really are not
emotionally independent. They usually like to be alone
and they take on a parental role rather than behave as
would a partner, transforming into the benevolent one.
Their emotions are psychologically defended, and they
can emotionally cut themselves off when they want.
They never show too much involvement or
disappointment. So, it is important to recognise this
quality if it exists in the partner and accept his or her
distance as a self-guarded perception in the
relationship. This need not be changed but accepted
and evolve your own relationship attachment around it.
Once we know the types of emotional bearing involved
in the marriage or partnership, it makes it easy on both
to reassure each other.

We MAY 2020
FEARFUL DISMISSIVE-AVOIDANT
ATTACHMENT
People with fearful attachment avoidant style want
to distance themselves and are yet afraid to do so.
They feel no security in the way he handles his
emotions. They are afraid to be close to a person as
well as distant from them. The partner of such a
person needs the help of a counsellor to see the
relationship through. An extreme exhibition of this
style could lead to very aggressive fights and often
bickering of points of view. Their moods are often
unpredictable, they are never happy with their own
reactions to situations because they always feel
those reactions have been thrust upon them.
There is a sense of ambivalence in the way
they think and feel. A nebulous fluff of
undeciphered code of social practice
gnaws away at them. Usually, they can be
very difficult to be around.
What we need to remember is people
with Fearful Dismissive Avoidant
Attachment are often the sufferers of their
disposition. On the onset of a relationship,
everyone knows courtship is a very romantic
period when this Fearful Dismissive Avoidant
Attachment style may never come into play.
Therefore, it is important to extend the courtship
period allowing all the styles of attachment to come
into play. Then the partners know how to charter
their relationship.

ENTITLEMENT
The sense of entitlement comes into play when we
become deeply involved in a relationship. It could be a
marriage, a live-in relationship or even an extramarital
relationship. Not standing on judgment here, it is
important to understand the underlying aspects of a
relationship. What style has come to dominate it, how

We MAY 2020
can that be managed with social and personal
enticement? Can certain foods be brought to appease a
mood?
In an extramarital relationship, we need to think if
the Secure Attachment Style is to the fore. Here,
either partner could be exercising their free spirit
from their spouse and you with your dopamine-
exuding nature became happily involved with this
because you have the Anxious-Preoccupied
Attachment Style, your husband is too involved with
his family to give you the attention you seek, and you
are looking for it elsewhere.
Your boyfriend is very secure, and he realises your
need and almost to protect you with his patriarchal
attitude will get involved with you. This relationship
will find the comfort, the emotional styles which you
both seek, and adjustments are made until the
entitlement factor kicks in.
Then you begin to feel you are entitled to his
attention, and you have given so much in the
relationship. He will feel restricted by your clingy
nature and try to cut loose a bit. You will threaten to
leave. He will be okay with that threat because he
comes with a Secure Attachment style.He may then
isolate his emotions and be okay with that. The bubble
is burst. The romance ends.
The most important thing is to know your emotional
style of attachment. Know your partner’s as well. Talk
about it on the onset of a relationship, before the
entitlement kicks in. In this manner, both will be safe and
together will handle the little hiccups that may come up
later. Sex is a very important aspect of the relationship
but with an emotional style of attachments, it becomes
imperative how you work around the hormones for a
meaningful life together. We

Click here
Love yourself. It is important to stay positive to read this
because beauty comes from the inside out. article online

We MAY 2020
PHYSICAL JOY
OF WOMEN
E
very woman turns into an actress in her Why they lie about
bedroom when she tells a lie beautifully
about her orgasm. Her acting talent is on
their orgasms.
the peak when she smiles before her partner By Dr Prempal
without showing her unfulfilled desire. They do Singh Valyan
so to let man have false pride and confusion of
playing romantic games. He will think himself to
be a skilled lover or husband. His pride would
not break and his ego will not get hurt.
But do they know anything about their orgasm?
Can they ever get orgasm? Is a husband or
lover careful for this? Do they ever come to
know that when unsatisfied sexually, she plays a
false game of satisfaction? If there is nothing
like respect and hesitation and todayʼs women
come out to talk they will show interest in sex
and not feel embarrassed. It becomes hard
when it crosses the limit of a healthy
relationship.
In spite of this openness in womenʼs
personality, most of the men and women do not
achieve orgasm. Not only this, most of the
women are forced to begin it. If a woman is
interested in sex, she hesitates to show it. A
man wants a mother for his children and a
homemaker. But when she asks for sex or
shows interest in sex she is looked down upon.
What is orgasm? Orgasm is an exciting
moment of physical joy. Sometimes this felling
reaches crescendo and woman losses herself.
Sometimes even after many attains, she cannot

We MAY 2020
get orgasm. Itʼs common for them to tell a lie on
this topic because in the Indian context a woman
with sexual desire is frowned upon.

BOLDNESS V/S VULGARITY

Bold women openly express their views on this
topic. But a simple woman shies away from this
topic. Most of the women feel it shameful to talk
on this topic. They think it is vulgar and not
boldness. They wonʼt accept that they are far
from this joy because they donʼt give it
importance in their life. Many women keep quiet
on questions related to orgasm or avoid giving
answers. Relationship expert and marriage
counsellor Nisha Khanna says 80 per cent
woman could not talk on this topic. However, the
relationship is going good for them. Many
women do not get as much sexual pleasure as
they should get.
Frank women also avoid talking on orgasm.
But they also accept that they do not get
satisfying orgasms. As women take time to
reach orgasm, they feel frustrated many a times.
The reason for being quiet on this topic is that
they often lie on this topic. When and why do
women tell a lie on sexual satisfaction? Most of
the women live under the pressure and they
have to pretend that their partner is capable of
satisfying them. Jaipur Golden Hospital
psychologist Himanshu Saxena says women tell
a lie because they feel sex boring and tiresome.
Lack of time makes it unbearable. They want to
get free. They donʼt want to refuse their partner,
nor do they want to tell them that they are not
enjoying sex or he is unable to satisfy them.
Some women are scared of their husbandsʼ
anger because they get angry on being denied.
And a quarrel ensues. So a lie is better than an
orgasm at that time.

We MAY 2020
 According to a study, women were asked if
they had ever told a lie about orgasm. Most of
them replied that truth is less than a lie on this
count. It is found that most women tell a lie but
donʼt accept it. They tell a lie when they want to
get rid of the sex process. It happens when they
feel that the sexual act is not proceeding
pleasantly with satisfaction and the moment of
joy is queit far. In this situation telling a lie saves
EACH WOMAN
both men and women from being ashamed. One KNOWS AND
more thing is that a man can never understand a UNDERSTANDS
womanʼs orgasm as pleasure. He does not know VERY WELL
that sex is not only orgasm for a woman but also THAT MANʼS
satisfaction of feelings. The unsatisfied body,
disturbed mind, lack of time, no interest in sex EGO IS VERY
and tiredness becomes the reason of telling a lie SOFT WHICH
about orgasm. A woman tells a lie because of CAN BE
tiredness and body suffering to stop love BROKEN BY
making. Some easy-natured women say that it
sounds pleasurable to have tenderness and ANY SMALL
intensity in a relationship and only orgasm is not THING.
the measure of a loving relationship. Many times
women understand in the beginning the pleasure
they desire. Who will not be deceived? So, she
wants relief by telling a lie. Dr Rajesh Mehta
says intensity and closeness do depend only on
orgasm. Itʼs good luck to get orgasm because
orgasm is not everything in love relations.
Closeness has more importance in a
relationship. Women give more importance to
respect in a relationship.
Each woman knows and understands very well
that manʼs ego is very soft which can be broken
by any small thing. He can never tolerate that he
is not able to satisfy his wife. There are many
women in India who do not know even after
years of marriage what is an orgasm. No one is
there to tell them about it. Their mother, sister,
no one talks about it. Neither their husbands like

We MAY 2020
 to talk on this topic. According to Dr Mehta,
society has empowered a man. So his desire is
more important and depends on man how
openly he talks to his wife about sex and how
much he is responsive to her needs.
During intercourse not achieving the peak of
orgasm has been attributed to illness. The
primary reasons being imbalance of hormones,
depression after delivery, psychological
problems or heart problems which keep a
woman from orgasming. Besides, there may be
some other physical problems which can also
ACCORDING TO keep her from orgasming. According to
Dr Himanshu lack of oestrogen affects
DR HIMANSHU menopause. Anti-depression for blood pressure
LACK OF medicines change the mental condition,
OESTROGEN depression of childhood, insecurity, worry,
AFFECTS depression or tension are reasons for obstacles
to orgasm.
MENOPAUSE. For most of the women their orgasm is
affected by their situation. Not feeling an orgasm
makes them angry. They
become irritated. Sadness
engulfs them. She wants to
control her body in those
moments but her body does not
support her, so she become
angry. All sex and relationship
therapists believe that many
serious diseases occur due to
disatisfaction or not having
orgasm. They believe that it is
necessary to look at this
unfulfilled and unsatisfied
situation because if this situation
continues, it affects the
relationship negatively. There is
a lack of people to advise a
woman on sexual topics. She

We MAY 2020
hesitates to ask about it. Her problems can
increase. Sex therapists believe that a woman
can enjoy orgasm if she gets right aid and
information. Dr Rajesh Mehta says, if a woman
does not know about sex how will she feel it?
For this, a husband needs to be sensitive and
understand her physical need.

WHY THE PROBLEM?

This problem increases with the imbalance of
hormones. It is also important for women that
they should understand their bodies and keep
special information about physical relationships,
as it is important that their gynaecologist is
intelligent and gives them the right information.
The biggest need of a woman is to take the right
information from the right sources. As much as
her insecurity is less, her orgasm is that much
easy and pleasurable. According to women
specialists, women accept that they tell a lie
about orgasm due to situations which their
husbands will never know. It reveals a bitter truth
of their marital relationship. The husband can
feel bad because he sees it connecting with his
masculinity, so a woman is forced to tell a lie. Is
this not a deceiving relationship? How many
husbands or lovers in India will see it with a
positive attitude?
According to psychologists, if women will keep
telling a lie about orgasm, they will never come
out from hesitations. How will their partners
solve their sexual problems? For this, the
partner is quite important. How will he
understand his mistake? How
will he choose to improve the relationship? If
there is a need to resolve the problem donʼt feel
guilty in asking for some love, giving some love Click here to
or showing some love. The base of self-belief is read this article
connected with trust. We online

We MAY 2020
 Personal Problems

QA &

y boyfriend used to work in the same

M office as mine. We have been together

for the last three years. In that office, he
was tagged as a ʻplayboyʼ. I always supported
him and cleared all the misunderstandings with
him. Now it has been six months since I have
changed my office and I caught him sleeping
with his ex. He proved that he is a loose
REMEMBER
character. I do not trust him anymore but ONCE A
whenever I try to leave him, somehow he CHEATER IS
convinces me to stay. Please suggest some ALWAYS A
way to get rid of him because I cannot live with
him without trust.
CHEATER. TAKE
You are a mature individual and you should IT AS A EYE
be capable of knowing your own boundaries, OPENER AND
once someone cheats you move forward MOVE ON GIRL.
without a single thought, thatʼs the golden rule
of a relationship. Remember once a cheater is
always a cheater. Take it as a eye opener and
move on girl.
●

am 19 years old student studying bsc

I physics, my father is having an

extramarital affair with a lady of 40, the
lady is also married and also have son of
my age and the boy was school classmate,
now he is studying in the same college in
humanitarian course ... during school days
there was nothing between them, it all

We MAY 2020
 started 1year ago as the lady got transferred to
my father office, they are exchanging expensive
gifts, he comes home very late and does not give
us time, he just avoid us, earlier he used to love
me and my mom very much but now thing have
he is only doing his duty today us like paying
household bills, etc but there is no love, l used to
be his most precious darling daughter, if was sick
he used to stay awake all night and take care of
me and now if was sick he tells, l am just wasting
his as he has to pay for my medicine, my mother
is a housewife, my father used to take very good
care of us, so she didn't feel the need to work,
though she is had masters degree in political
HELP YOUR science, my mother love my father very much
MOM TO GET A inspite of knowing all these. l am very depressed,
l can't take so much neglect by my father ....l don't
JOB AS BEING want to live ...l want to end my life.... because of
FINANCIALLY all these my and my mother's life has become a
STABLE WILL living hell. ...l am not able to concentrate on my
MAKE HER studies.
If you will end your life, how will your mother
CONFIDENT survive without u as she is already living
AND STRONG without the love of her husband? You are her
ENOUGH TO strength and the reason for her survival.
DEAL THE Concentrate on your studies. Don't compromise
your career. Help your mom to get a job as
SITUATION. being financially stable will make her confident
and strong enough to deal the situation.
Try to talk to your dad n make him
understand that he means the world to you and
your mom. You can also do one thing. Talk to
that lady n try to make her understand about
your n your mother's condition. Give her a
chance to save hers family too else gather
proofs first n tell her husband/ son about all
this. If nothing works, wait for right the time
surely some way will come out and everything
will be fine one day.

We MAY 2020
 am a 25-year-old female. I got married in

I 2018. Everything was fine until I got

pregnant with twins. My in-Law's behavior
was suddenly changed; they were
concerned that it could be two baby girls. I
spent most of my time in parental home
during pregnancy, as my in-laws were not
taking care of me properly. My husband is
the only child of his parents and earned a
handsome salary of 35k. I was pregnant
with twins normal delivery was not possible.
Doctor asked for c-section delivery, which
was expensive. My In-laws refused for C-
section delivery. They said whether three of
us die or survive. IF THINGS ARE
I got my babies delivered with my parents STILL NOT
one son and one daughter. After 2 months I CLEAR, FILE
went back to In-laws. My In-laws were treating
my son well but they just didnʼt care about my FIR AND DO
daughter. They started ill-treating me and EVERYTHING
provoking my husband against me. YOU NEED TO
They want my husband to get rid of me and FOR YOUR
remarry another girl. I want to focus on my
studies and do a job. I want to become CHILDREN AND
independent so that I can provide everything YOURSELF.
and a bright future for my kids. A few days ago
my husband hit me so hard and compelled me
to leave the house. My in-laws want me to
divorce him and arrange a second marriage for
him. But I still love my husband and want to
stay with him. He is not answering my calls and
messages. I do not know what to do. Please
help me.
You should wait for a month without taking
any decisions and then contact your husband
and calmly talk and ask what he is actually upto
and what problem does he have. If things are
still not clear, file FIR and do everything you
need to for your children and yourself. We

We MAY 2020
THE CASTING
COUCH SYNDROME
Keeping
movie
predators
at bay.
By C V Aravind

U
ntil the other day he was the blue eyed boy
of Hollywood, a heavy weight film
producer whose studio had bankrolled
some of the biggest hits, including Oscar winning
films. But today Harvey Weinstein has turned into
just another bad egg, a predator on the prowl,
one itching to lay his beefy hands on nubile
female flesh. His targets were young winnable
actresses, all in awe of the big man and the quid

We MAY 2020
pro quo that he offered for exclusive massage
sessions and a lot more was a role in his films, a
gateway to stardom.
Skeletons have been tumbling down the
cupboard with more and more Hollywood
actresses – some of them include world
renowned like Angelina Jolie and Gyanneth
Paltrow – accusing Bernstein of sexual
harassment. The movie mogul has put up a weak
defence asserting that as per his recollections the
stories were a lot different and the sex (ahem)
was always consensual. There are, however, few
takers for this theory as Weinstein is no Rudolf
Valentino to have women falling all over him. The
porcine faced, obese and ageing film tycoonʼs
personality or charm could not have drawn
women to him like a magnet. Unconfirmed reports
suggest that our own Aishwarya Rai too had been
a potential target and Weinstein had made every
possible effort to get the Miss World alone so that
he could do the dirty on her. Her female agent
however saved the beauty from the beastʼs
advances.
In the wake of this scandal, an actress had
send a worldwide post to all women who had
been sexually harassed to respond with just the
two words ʻMe tooʼ – and thousands of responses
came flooding in. So there are many Wensteins
around using their clout to get women to submit
albeit unwillingly to the Lotharios and their
unbridled libidos.

THE CASTING COUCH

Speaking on the subject, another Indian ex-
Miss World and international singer and actor
Priyanka Chopra in a candid interview admitted
that there were a number of Weinsteins in
Bollywood and in other industries who prey on
pretty damsels approaching them for roles in
films. The irony is that this is not a gender- based

We MAY 2020
THE IRONY IS problem and even male actors have been
approached for sexual favours in lieu of acting
THAT THIS IS NOT opportunities. While Priyanka has stopped short
A GENDER- BASED of naming names, the insiders in these industries
PROBLEM AND are fully aware of who these black sheep are and
EVEN MALE how they operate, their close knit circles and also
the names of their victims and those who got
ACTORS HAVE away but lost out on coveted roles.
BEEN Many actresses in South Indian cinema have
APPROACHED FOR openly come out with stories of their sordid
SEXUAL FAVOURS experiences and the embarrassing moments that
they faced while in the company of the bad
IN LIEU OF ACTING wolves on the hunt for their pound of flesh. It is a
OPPORTUNITIES. mistaken impression that only the producers or
the directors of films are the culprits who seek
such favours. Where newcomers are concerned
even the technicians too are known to make their
advances and as for the heroes, some of them
demand it as a matter of right and if they are
turned down they use their clout to ensure that
the heroine is dropped from their film like a hot
potato.
One famous Kannada hero is reported to have
told a leading heroine who had worked with him
that she was the only one he had not slept with
and the sole reason for that was that she was the
daughter of his mentor. A Hindi film maker, now
long retired, is supposed to have publicly
declared that the route to stardom is through his
bedroom.

DO ACTRESSES COMPROMISE?
When a leading film star in the Malayalam film
industry, Dileep, stood accused of having
allegedly paid gangsters to molest and actress an
record the molestation as an act of revenge
against her for sabotaging his first marriage, a
veteran actor and Lok Sabha MP, the president of
the Actors Association, AMMA, Innocent, had
dropped hints about actresses who were willing to

We MAY 2020
compromise for roles. Here the slur was on the
women who had no qualms on warming the beds
of whoever could give them a leg up in the
industry. Mercifully, he did not drop names but it
was as clear as daylight that sexual favours in
exchange for roles was very much in vogue in the
industry. While touching actresses and group
dancers, etc inappropriately is always part for the
course, seeking much more and also doing their
utmost to get it is second nature to some top
industry people and women in cinema often find it
extremely difficult to fend off all this unwelcome
attention. Yet it is an indisputable fact that any
kind of compromising might at best bring in its
wake a role or two but thereafter one has to rise
on oneʼs own steam and if she is found deficient
in the acting department the offers would dry up
very fast.

SHUN THE BLACK SHEEP

In the case of Harvey Weinstein every single
body of which he was a member has shown him
the door, his wife has filed for divorce and he has
also been sacked from the company that he
founded. The massive loss of face suffered by
Hollywood has been redeemed to an extent by
this quick action despite his exalted status. It is
time for the Indian film industry too to identify
these potential rapists, who are adept in
manufacturing consent and have no scruples
about demanding favours from actresses young
enough to be their daughters, isolate them and
weed them out before they can do any more
damage. The industry should close ranks around
the unfortunate victims of lust and ensure that
justice is rendered to them where the cases of
molestation come up. Ultimately, the women in
the industry should also be on their guard, fight Click here
for their legitimate rights and strive to keep the to read this
predators at bay. We article online

We MAY 2020
 BE THE BOSS
Just lay down the law. By Mala Ashok

T
hat wasn’t a question.” These were words I
heard from my mother when I was growing
up. She made it clear that what she said was
a statement, not something I had a choice on,
whether I should do or not. I could not question
her authority. Today, parents don’t exert this kind
of authority. When asked to do simple things like
put on their shoes, children respond by saying
“Oh, I haven’t finished playing yet.” This is the
time to be firm and tell them they have no choice.
As a parent you need to make it clear that
listening to you, the parent, is not optional. Telling
not asking your children to do something may
seem harsh today but the jarring reality is that
many parents are letting their children walk all
over them when it comes to parenting.
Unfortunately this parenting style is doing more
harm than good.
You must have seen parents address temper
tantrums and disrespectful behaviours with

We MAY 2020
coaxing negotiations, bribery and hugs. Such
scenes make me wonder “who’s the boss here?”
Shouldn’t we as parents be taking a role of
authority, and teaching our children right from
wrong? We need to show the children
appropriate behaviour, respect, humility and in
general prepare them for adulthood.
Dr Leonard Sax, a child psychologist has
written a controversial book, The collapse of
parenting. In his book Dr Sax claims that
“Parents are doing it all wrong,” that they are
STUDIES HAVE
“completely incapable of speaking to their FOUND
children in a sentence that ends in a period,” and NEGATIVE
in general asking for their children’s permission IMPACTS ON
instead of telling them what to do.
Sax debunks the theory that children should be
CHILDREN
given options and parents should facilitate their RESULTING
wants and needs at all times. There is a clear FROM A LACK
power differential in the parent-child relationship OF PARENTAL
and there are definite benefits in the hierarchy of
the parent over the child.
AUTHORITY.
Studies have found negative impacts on
children resulting from a lack of parental
authority. The book offers solutions including the
need to make family meals a priority, teaching
humility, and maintaining an alliance between
the school and parents.
While in India, we may not need to go that far
and say, “Parents are raising their kids all
wrong,” it is true that children need more
structure and guidance. The goal as we raise our
little humans (not little emperors) is to make it
understood that we as parents are the boss, but
we also need to balance that respect with
unconditional love and positive reinforcement. We

Health of body and mind is a great Click here to

blessing, if we can bear it. read this article
online

We MAY 2020
Sthoorryt
S
THOSE ANGELIC
The untimely
dea th of
MUSINGS
Pramod , her Filling the time vacuum. By Vijai Pant
husband , had
resulted in Mrs
Dube y fur ther “The elderly need so little, but they need that
ne glec ting little so much.”

I
he rself. She was
completely t took the old woman some effort to turn to
foc used on the the other side on her bed to see the smiling
upbringing and faces of the two children. The framed
education of photograph did not appear to her nearly for four
he r kids, who decades. Probably the happy memories of their
were not growing years still fresh in her mind made her
mature e nough weak eyes not see the distinctly yellowish tinge
to grasp the in the black- and-white photograph.
implications of “Being two years younger than Sheetal you
the sudd en void had always been the pampered one. Do you
crea te d in the remember, Saurabh, how you would make me
family.
It
took the old
woman some effort to
turn to the other side on her
bed to see the smiling faces of
the two children. The framed
photograph did not appear to her
nearly for four decades. Probably the
happy memories of their growing
years still fresh in her mind made
her weak eyes not see the
distinctly yellowish tinge in
the black-and-white
photograph.

We MAY 2020
run after you with the glass of milk, how you
would lay down some condition or the other to
finish it off and how you would persuade me to
buy those iced lollies while returning from the
bazaar?” she wanted to ask aloud the pre-
teenager in the frame. She didnʼt do it, but the
very thought of it brought a faint smile to her
withered lips.
“Maa jee there is enough dalia left of the
morning, but if you want, I can quickly rustle up The in te r mi tt ent
a sabzi for you” These words of Kamala, her pho ne ca l ls no w
domestic help, broke the old womanʼs reverie. wer e the o nl y
thi ng whi c h

W hen Sheetal and Saurabh had left the nest

pursuing their individual careers, Mrs
Dubey was all alone. The empty nest syndrome
wo uld b r ing
so me li fe i nto
Mr s Dub ey ’ s d ul l
would haunt her and she would excitedly wait for e xi st e nc e .
the young collegians to come home during H ow e ve r , the ir
breaks. re g u la r it y h ad
However, for the last four years she has had al so c om e d o wn
Kamala by her side. Kamala lived close by. She not ic e a b ly, bu t
would run errands for the old woman who the n t he ol d la d y
remained confined within the four walls. During co nt inu e d t o l iv e
these years Kamala had become a close in her o wn
confidant of Mrs Dubey, her maa jee, the latter mak e - b e l iev e
sharing with her all – well nearly all – her wo rl d of t ho se
feelings. ang e l i c mu si ng s .
“You know, Kamala, how much I eat. I might
not be able to finish off even that left-over dalia
in the evening. In fact, I would suggest that you
take some home. Just leave a bowl for me,” the
old woman replied.
She had always been a small eater and
looking at her frail self one could easily surmise
that. The untimely death of Pramod, her
husband, had resulted in Mrs Dubey further
neglecting herself. She was completely focused
on the upbringing and education of her kids, who
were not mature enough to grasp the

We MAY 2020
 implications of the sudden void created in the
family.
“What are your plans after they complete their
schooling?” Mrs Dubey asked Kamala some
weeks later. Kamala had requested for some
advance money for their school fees and the
conversation had then veered towards her two
daughters.
“Maa jee, we donʼt have the means to continue
their education, although the elder one is quite
sharp as you too have observed many a times. If
we could afford we also would like to send
her……,”
“No! No! Never do that,” Mrs Dubey almost
shouted at Kamala, not even letting her
complete the sentence. Her firm words seemed
to carry a mix of unexpected anger and remorse.
H er fi r m

K
wo rd s
amala had never seen her maa jee so
s eemed
upset. There was an uneasy calm for some
to c a r r y a
moments, before the old woman regained her
mi x o f
composure and tried to make up with, “I mean
u nexp ec te d
there is no need. There is a degree college here.
an g er a nd
In fact, I would suggest to you to get her married
r emo r se.
off, but again I would caution you to find a local
match.”
“I know, maa jee, that you will always give the
right advice to me,” Kamala mumbled, quietly
appreciating her concern while she slowly
fathomed the reason for her sudden outburst.
It was now more than five years since Sheetal
and Saurabh had come over to meet their infirm
and aged mother. Both of them had become so
engrossed in their professional and personal
lives that they just could not make it.
Of course, it was a long way from Chennai and
Bengaluru. Sheetal, a working mother, was an
RJ and Saurabh had a high profile job in a
multinational.

We MAY 2020
 In the beginning Mrs Dubey would proudly tell
everyone how well her children were doing in
life. “You know this is Sheetalʼs voice,” she
would say, irrespective of the fact that the radio
station was not the one where Sheetal was
employed. Any female voice on an FM channel
had to be Sheetalʼs.
Both the children had chosen their life partners
and Mrs Dubey had admired their choices. Whenever
she would see maa
Sheetal had got settled in the south. Right from jee radiating happiness,
Kamala would instantly come
the start her homecomings had been very few up with, “Aaj phone aaya tha,
and far between, and now these had nearly kya?” (Did you get a phone call from
your children today?), and the old
stopped. woman would smile and launch on
As for Saurabh, so long he was posted in those anecdotes about the two
which Kamala had already
Agra, Meerut and Gurugram, he would make it a heard umpteen times
earlier.
point to be with his mother for festivals like
Deepawali and Holi. However, when his
company shifted base in 2011, he was asked to
come to Bengaluru.
“With small kids and professional
commitments it is difficult for them to come
every now and then,” Mrs Dubey would
comment. Kamala would be the
avid listener.
Whenever she would see
maa jee radiating
happiness, Kamala
would instantly
come up

We MAY 2020
 with, “Aaj phone aaya tha, kya?” (Did you get a
phone call from your children today?), and the
old woman would smile and launch on those
anecdotes about the two which Kamala had
already heard umpteen times earlier.
“Saurabh was very mischievous, with both
school and neighbours complaining about him,
and Sheetal was an expert at throwing tantrums.
I would be at my witʼs end in how to deal with
them. But they were my angels,” adding after a
pause, in almost a whisper, “They still are.”
“You know the first thing which they do while
talking to me over the phone is inquire about my
“ S au ra b h health. They ensure that Iʼm never short of
wa s v er y money – whether it is my routine health check-
mi sc hi ev ou s, up or paying your pagaar (salary) or the little
wi th b ot h everyday expenses of running the house. Did
s ch oo l a nd you notice the fashionable walking stick I use to
ne i g hb ou rs walk around in the house? Well, Saurabh
c o mpl a ini ng couriered it to me last week. He wants me to
a b ou t him , a nd stay with him, but how can I leave this house
S hee t al wa s a n where I have spent all my life?” Mrs Dubey
e x per t a t would mutter more to herself than to Kamala.
thr o wi ng
ta ntr um s.
T he intermittent phone calls now were the only
thing which would bring some life into Mrs
Dubeyʼs dull existence. However, their regularity
had also come down noticeably, but then the old
lady continued to live in her own make- believe
world of those angelic musings. Maybe, dwelling
in the happy past was her only way of lessening
the pain of her present loneliness.
Kamala had never seen maa jeeʼs angels –
Sheetal and Saurabh – but she could very well
draw a picture of the two thanks to ma jeeʼs
unending talks about them. She had also come
to know that there were two-three close relatives
of Mrs Dubey but they had left India years ago.
The neighbours too tired of listening to the old

We MAY 2020
lady narrating her childrenʼs anecdotes (for them
it was like the nth re-run of a serial) now hardly
bothered about how sheʼs keeping, leaving her
to her own musings.
Fortunately for Mrs Dubey she had no major
illness except for age- related ailments. A brave
lady, she would not care much about seasonal
flues, upset tummy and lack of appetite. But it
was osteoarthritis which had severely restricted
her movements.
A few days back Kamala pressed the door bell,
before realising that there was no electricity.
Then she called out, Maa jee! Maa jee! and
waited for the old lady to take her time to come
to the door. But when no one answered for a
while she pushed the door slightly and it
opened. Anxiously she entered Mrs Dubeyʼs
room.
As her wont, the old woman was looking at the
frame and talking. Did she hear faint sobs in
between? Kamala again called out, “Maa jee!”
Mrs Dubey hurriedly wiped her tears before
turning around.
“Very early today, Kamala?” maa jee queried.
Kamala could see the marks of those
treacherous tears on the hollowed cheeks of Mrs
Dubey. She had always feared it.
Starting her daily chores a thought flashed
through Kamalaʼs mind, ʻDo childrenʼs duties
end with a regular transfer of money to their old
parents?ʼ
She knew the answer. She also knew that her
maa jee was now simply waiting for the ʻreal
angelsʼ to take her away. We

Courage is like a muscle. We Click here to

read this article
strengthen it by use. online

We MAY 2020
 Beauty Queries

I
QA &
shave my legs as I find this more convenient and
time saving, but the problem is very soon
afterwards there are some hair which grow back very
soon. How can I prevent this?
It seems as if your razor misses out on small hairs
which are trapped under dry skin cells. Before you
shave, use a loofah and give your legs a light scrub
which will remove the dry cells and free the tiny
hairs, which will get
shaved.
To soothe stubble which will eventually appear
anyway, use a calamine lotion or a moisturizer which
contains glycerine.
This will flatten the prickly hair to make them
invisible till your next shaving day.
Waxing removes hair from the roots and gives a
smoother finish. Try this. To avoid any mess, you can
go to a parlour. Waxing gives longer lasting results
as well.
●

I love using blush on my cheeks, but sometimes, it

seems that I use too much making me look like a
clown…my office mates tell me this! Please tell me
how to rectify this mistake quickly.
First, do remember that blush should be applied
judiciously…the lesser and subtler the better! Use an
enlarging mirror, in strong light when applying
blush…sometimes in poor light, we cannot judge the
intensity correctly.
Now, for s.o.s methods for lightening dark blush,
sweep gently over with translucent powder. Remove
excess powder with a brush. Or gently apply a thin
layer of concealer over the area…this will instantly

We MAY 2020
lighten the shade considerably.
Of course,you can always wash your face and
remove the blush.
●

I have very dry hair. Please give me some easy

methods to remedy my problem. I wash my hair
twice a week. Please advise.
Firstly, if you have dry hair, avoid washing your hair
frequently…once a week is quite enough, for
otherwise the natural sebum on your scalp will get
washed away. Use a rich cream-based shampoo and
a conditioner after the wash.
It is advised you also give your scalp and hair a
warm oil massage at least once a week. If possible
keep the oiled hair without washing overnight and
then wash with warm water and a mild shampoo.
Take 2tsp of mashed avocado and 2tsp of
mayonnaise, a little honey and a few drops of lemon
juice; add a few tsp of milk and mix. Apply this paste
on your hair, parting the hair carefully, and not
neglecting the scalp.Keep on for at least one hour.
Wash off with warm water and a good shampoo.
This will nourish your hair, give it bounce and
rehydrate it. Try to do this at least once a week for
good results. ●

I sweat a lot under my arms which leaves damp

patches on my garments. Please tell me what I
can do to stop this. I am a 25-year-old bank officer
working in Chennai.
The warm humid climate of your city will naturally
make you sweat a lot. Always bathe daily,
sometimes even twice a day. Use a medicated soap
specially under your arms to kill all accumulated
bacteria.
Dry under arms thoroughly and apply a
deodorant… a roll on, or a spray. You may need to
reapply it again during the day, but always wipe the
area with a wet tissue to clean it, before you use

We MAY 2020
the deodorant.
You can use a mild astringent under your arms to
help close pores and discourage sweating.
Rubbing an ice cube on sweaty areas is also
helpful in this issue.
There are thin absorbent pads which can be
positioned under the arms to avoid the wet patches on
your clothes. Avoid wearing very tight clothes which
will make you sweat even more. Loose garments
encourage ventilation which will cool you off.
●

I am a 45-year-old woman. I am horrified to find

that my face is breaking out into pimples! Acne at
this age?! I had it when I was in my teens…and now
this. I feel embarrassed by this crop of pimples.
Please let me know what I can do to heal this
condition, and just why it has started in the first
place.
The causes of adult acne may be many and
varied. It seems as if yours could be due to
hormonal issues,as you could be in the pre-
menopausal stage when big changes are taking
place in your endocrinal glands.
Stress is also notorious for causing pimples
especially in older women.
Genetics too play a part. If other female
members of your family are encountering this
problem, you can blame it on your genes!
Treat the acne in the usual way with anti-pimple
creams, medicated soaps, astringents, and
keeping your face spotlessly clean and non-greasy.
If the acne is extreme, a visit to your doctor could
help in deciding whether you need hormonal
treatment, or HRT.
Retinol creams are also good at soothing angry
pimples. Ensure that you do not scratch or pinch
these, and that the towels you use are very clean. Click here to
Oral medication is also prescribed in grave read this
cases. We article online

We MAY 2020
Decoding Our
Teenage
Daughters
S
MAKING SENSE OF he looked tense, so I asked, “Anything
wrong?” “Nothing. Just feeling a little
ADOLESCENTS. anxious about Kanika,” she said.
By Tarang Sinha Kanika is her 17-year-old daughter. “Why? Is she
okay?”
“She has grown up!’
Wait. Why was growing up a problem? Children
grow up. It’s normal.
“I’m worried because I think we are growing
apart. She doesn’t talk to me much now. Looks
self-engrossed. Stays in her room all the time.
When I question her, she says I don’t understand
her! Sometimes, I question my parenting skill.”
She really looked worried.
“Relax. She’d be fine,” I said but it made
me thinking.
Why is it a matter of concern if your
daughter is growing up? I never realised
that my mother was worried when I
was a teenager. I thought about the
changing parent-daughter
relationship. Has it changed with
time? What could be the reason of
Kanika’s changing behaviour?
How difficult is it to gel with a
growing daughter? What do parents need to keep in
mind while they try to develop a comfort level with
their teenage daughters who are going through
some kinds of changes?
Teenagers go through several peculiar changes –
physically, mentally and emotionally. And, their
changing behaviour has nothing to do with your
parenting skill.
Dr Ashima Puri, a clinical psychologist practising in
Delhi, says that teenagers can act differently, show
strong emotions at times, and it is important to
treat them sensibly. “At this stage they need “AT THIS
guidance and parents are the best guide.” STAGE THEY
IS IT DIFFERENT TO RAISE A DAUGHTER NEED GUIDANCE
THAN A SON? AND PARENTS
For some families, it is! ARE THE BEST
In India, many families still don’t find any reason GUIDE.”
to rejoice at the birth of a daughter. Parents or
grandparents still get worried. Maybe, it’s our faulty
social structure. Srishti reminisces with sadness that
in her house her opinion never mattered. They were
three sisters and their only brother got all the
attention.
“It’s the same when I am a mother of two
teenagers. A boy and a girl,” she says. “I live in a
joint family and I am supposed to teach them
different values. My daughters should behave
properly. There are different rules for them.
Nobody thinks about my son’s behaviour. He has
turned into a stubborn boy, and whenever I scold
him, asking to check his behaviour, my in-laws
protest. So, basically, I am raising my children in two
different ways.

HAS PARENTING CHANGED

OVER TIME?
Abhilasha Singh had a tough and restricted

We MAY 2020
childhood. That’s why she decided to be more open
with her daughters – 16 and 14. “I was not a
privileged child or teenager. I was married by the
time I reached 16.” She thinks for a while and then
adds, “I didn’t even get a proper education, but I
understand the value of education and that it’s
essential even if you have only daughters. And
marriage should not be the ultimate goal for them.”
Debeshi Gooptu, author of Gurgaon Diaries (and
several other books) says, “It hasn't changed in my
case. I was brought up by my mother single-
handedly as my father died when I was eight, and
she was very open with me. Strict but liberal at the
same time. Her rule was “You can have boyfriends,
just make sure they all come to the house. No
lurking about in streets or alleys. It's the same with
me and my daughter.”
Laxmi Sahu, a homemaker and mother of a 16
year-old girl, thinks that times have changed. “In
our times, we used to be very shy about our
physical developments and couldn’t even share our
feelings with my mother but these days girls are
more aware and way too frank.”

CHANGE IS INEVITABLE. IT JUST NEEDS TO

BE HANDLED SENSIBLY
Body image
One of the most prominent changes that teenage
girls experience is the changes in their body. It
makes them conscious. They tend to compare
themselves to others.
Sudesna Ghosh, author of What Would I Tell Her
@ 13, a book published by Harlequin, puts in very
thoughtfully. Why don’t I look like the other girls?
This is a common complaint that parents of teenage
girls have to hear. You would think that your
intelligent child would understand and appreciate
that no two people look the same, but no. At the

We MAY 2020
age of 13 and going up the years, girls often struggle
with their body images. The bad part is that this
image of her bodies in her minds doesn’t always
match her body’s real shape and size.”

TRUST AND PRIVACY

Teenagers mostly over-estimate themselves, and
that’s why they reject blatant refusal.
“Damn! I do need my privacy!” or “They just don’t
understand me!” Ever heard teenagers saying that?
Privacy is one of the most frequently used words
these days. DON’T TELL
“Wherever I go, my younger sister goes with me. THEM
You know why? Because my mom doesn’t trust me. BLATANTLY
She thinks I don’t realise that but I do,” Manisha, a 17-
year-old, says. I could trace a sense of annoyance in THAT WHAT
her tone. THEY ARE DOING
But, what’s a parent’s perspective? “You need to IS WRONG. HELP
keep an eye when your daughters are growing up. THEM REALISE
They don’t understand the difference of right or
wrong when they are young. We should be more THAT.”
careful about their safety. They will realise it later
that their parents were right,” a mother of two
teenage daughters said flatly and unapologetically.
The question is how much privacy the teenage
daughters should have. And, what should be the
parents’ approach?
Girls are often said to be the mother’s best friends,
but when they enter their teens, they demand space
and privacy even from their mothers.
“To be honest in today's times, the digital age,
most parents don't have much of a say when we talk
about teen privacy. A teen today can live in a blissful
world, free from parental prying, thanks to the
numerous apps, hi-speed unlimited Internet
browsing, and password protected devices, ‘says
Kala Ravi, an interior designer and lifestyle blogger.
“You need to have faith in the fact that the good

We MAY 2020
values you've imparted to your children will make
them follow the right path. So yes, I do respect my
daughter's (18) privacy but keep an alert eye all the
same,” she adds.
Dr Ashima Puri says, “Teenagers are constantly
searching for their identities – social, academic or
sexual. They’re conscious and worried about it. As a
parent, you should adopt a corrective action, and
not preventive. Don’t tell them blatantly that what
they are doing is wrong. Help them realise that.”

LOVE AFFAIR AND SEX – A BIG DEAL?

Having crushes and thinking about first love is
absolutely normal in teenagers. You somehow can’t
control it, and it’s not wise to control it. And girls
are more vulnerable emotionally.
“There is an art to striking a balance between
your own concerns and those of your daughters,”
says Sudesna Ghosh. “If she mentions her crush to
you and defines it as ‘love’, don’t tell her that it is
nothing serious. Your teenage daughter is as
serious about her first crush as you were about
marrying your husband. That is how important this
is to her. And, if she is being open about her feelings
for a boy, you can be assured that she probably
won’t hide anything from you,” she adds.
It indeed is important to build that comfort level.
For Debeshi Gooptu and her daughter, it,
strangely, started at an early stage when a boy in
her daughter’s nursery class told her how babies
were born! ‘We are very candid with one another.
I've made sure the lines of communication are
always open. Yes, I do have a few more grey hairs
than usual.’ She smiles.
“How candid you can be with your girls?” I asked
Kala Ravi.
“Actually, I am pretty cool about it. We watch all
kinds of movies together, read and share books, so

We MAY 2020
we are pretty much comfortable viewing sex
objectively. I do my good mommy duty of giving
subtle warnings about topics like, say, premarital
sex. However, it is still not so easy talking about it,’
she answers.

BEING STRICT VS BEING DISCIPLINED

Vinita’s mother was in the police department so
she had been very strict with Vinita when it came to
boys and staying out for long. ‘Maybe, I can
understand my mom, but certainly I didn’t want to
be like her,’ says Vinita who is now a mother of a 15-
year-old, “I don’t try to restrict my daughter. I have
given her the freedom a teenage girl needs, but
discipline is a must. That I have inherited from my
mother,” she laughs.
Dr Ashima Puri says that it’s not wise to put too
many restrictions. “Give your teenage daughters
freedom and space, but while you give them the
liberty to make their opinions, choices and
decisions, you must practise discipline. That’s
essential. One needs to be understood and that is
being strict and practising discipline are two
different things. And, be consistent about your
behaviour and your approach when you try to
discipline your children,” says Dr Ashima Puri.
“Suppose you are not okay with their staying out
late, let them know from your behaviour and show
it every time when they return late. Consistency is
important to make your teenagers understand your
mood correctly.”

ON VALUING THEIR SUGGESTIONS

When children grow up they become more like
friends, and Kulpreet Yadav, an ex-Naval officer and
best-selling crime author has a very different
approach. He considers to teenage daughter’s
suggestions and feedbacks for his writing. You can

We MAY 2020
see his daughter’s name in all his books as his
inspiration.
“Why do you think parents should respect/value
the opinion/suggestions of teenagers?” I asked.
And he answered very thoughtfully. “Because,
the ideas that come from a teenager would be new,
frank, original and simple to implement. Older
people will come up with something that you might
already know.
Also, and perhaps larger benefit would be that
the teenager would see that you value her opinion,
you consider her as a grown-up.
That's a big deal for teenagers,” he says.
That’s true. It’s very important to make teenagers
feel important and equal. When I was a teenager,
my father asked me to choose the brand and colour
of our washing machine when we went to buy it.
And I still remember how valued and important I
felt that time. As a teenager, especially when you
are a daughter, getting approval from your parents
means a lot.

ON PRESSURE TO PERFORM WELL

The greatest pressure we experience is the
pressure of performing well. And teenagers are no
different especially daughters because in many
homes they still need to prove themselves.
Kulpreet Yadav never asks his daughter to study.
“I don’t need to because her academic performance
is always good. So, why should I pressurise her?” he
asks.
“Putting academic pressure on teenagers doesn't
really help. You have to trust them, so they are
more focused or more aware of their
responsibilities when it comes to studying. Create
an environment to study, tell them the benefits of
studies, but never force them. ‘The hunger to learn’
(I prefer thus word over-study) should come from

We MAY 2020
within,” says Kulpreet Yadav.

ON SAFETY
You read newspapers; you watch television
channels and realise that your daughter’s safety and
security is your main concern.
‘‘I have raised my daughters single-handedly, as my
husband and I got separated eight years back,” says
Abhilasha Singh. “My daughters understand my
values and sacrifices, and I respect them for this. We
share a healthy bond. The only thing I’m worried
about is their safety and security. They are grown-up
girls, and it’s a terrible time. When they go out, I keep
worrying about them until they return safely,” she
says.
True. It indeed seems a bad phase, but your
daughters can’t stay home all day. And why should
they?
Debeshi Gooptu is very particular about the
security of her daughter as she understands well that
we live in crazy times. She doesn’t care what anyone
says or thinks about her. ‘I talk about it with my
daughter a lot. She does protest at times but realises
eventually that it's in her best interest,’ she says.
Kala has even given her daughter a can of pepper
spray for emergencies. “Security is an all time
concern, especially considering my daughter travels
by local trains and buses every day. I mandate
location updates from her whenever she travels.
Besides this I have instilled in her the need to wear
modest clothes when travelling – sad but a necessary
precaution in view of the predatory nature of the
society,” she says. We

Click here
There are two ways of spreading light: to be to read this
the candle or the mirror that reflects it. article online

We MAY 2020
 MIND
YOUR LIPS
Beware of what you use to beautify it?
By Shree Prakash

L
ips are one of the main points of attraction
in women. They must be taken care of and
pampered. When you expose a piece of
sponge to water, it soaks it and gets plumpy,
when you squeeze it becomes dry and shrinks.
Your lips are almost similar. Further with age
they significantly lose volume and get dry,
wrinkled and creased.
Your dry flaky lips make you uncomfortable
and become a cause of concern. We care so
much about our skincare and make-up, but do

We MAY 2020
little justice to lips. With some care you can get it
perfect. You have to follow some steps.

Cleanse: Mix equal volume of rose water and

coconut milk in a clean bottle. Massage your lips
with this mixture for 2-3 minutes every morning.
Sometimes you can add little baby oil also.

Exfoliate: Mix equal amounts of lemon juice,

tomato juice, yoghurt and powdered sugar in a
glass pot. Add a pinch of turmeric powder to this
mixture and mix. This will make a lip scrub for
you. Exfoliate your lips gently with this
scrub for a minute. Then wash it with
water. You can use it daily. This
removes your lipʼs dead skin and
also brightens and tans them.

Moisturise: Apply a little of

your favourite lip balm before
you go to bed at night. This will
hydrate and moisturise your lips.
You can use petroleum jelly /
beeswax to keep lips hydrated.

Hydrate: Drink about 8 glasses of

water daily, unless medically advised against
it due to other reasons. Besides lips your whole
body and skin will remain hydrated.

Shun licking and biting: Stop licking or biting

your lips. This damages protective layer of lip
skin and leads to chapped and dry lips. Instead
use your balm / cream.

Use humidifier: If indoors, you can use a

humidifier. This will replace moisture in dry-
indoor air and keep lips hydrated.

We MAY 2020
 Use sunscreen: If frequently outdoors, use a
sunscreen. Your lips are prone to sunburn as
they lack melanin, the fine pigment that keeps
lips safe against sunburn. You can avoid
unnecessary outdoor movements in sun.

Matte lipsticks: Do not use Matte lipsticks

always. Matte helps to keep lipstick for longer
period, but will cause dryness. Use it sparingly
when lips are chapped. Alternatively use
hydrating lipstick which contains Vitamin E and
glycerin.

COMMON LIP PROBLEMS

Peeling of lips: Peeling may be due to
allergies from food, medicine, lipstick,
toothpaste, etc. This causes itching and/or
rashes. Can talk to your dermatologist and use
cream if advised.

Cut in mouth corner: Sometimes you may

get a cut in one corner of mouth. Use balm to
keep lips hydrated. You can use a small dab of
non-prescription hydrocortisone cream.

Wrinkles on lips: Wrinkles may be due to

age, sun exposure, or smoking. They may be
treated like other wrinkles on face. You can use
anti-ageing cream containing anti-ageing
elements like retinol (Vitamin A).

Thin lips: There are methods for lip

augmentation, if you are too fond of plumpy lips
and have enough money. They have their own
limitations and side effects and not meant for
anyone blindly. Lip augmentation is purely
cosmetic and costly affair. But why you need lit?
Just to please others or yourself, better live with
what you have. We

We MAY 2020
 Child Challenges

I have a six-month-old boy who was born

QA &

prematurely at 30.5 weeks. He has a slight squint

in the left eye. Is it because of prematurity? Can it
be rectified?
The squint may or may not be due to prematurity.
There is nothing that can be done about it at the
moment though it is good to remain in touch with an
ophthalmologist. The squint may disappear on its
own as the child grows older. If this does not occur,
the ophthalmologist will prescribe some eye
exercises to overcome the muscle weakness, for that
is the commonest cause of squint. These exercises
have to be done diligently to preserve binocular
vision. If exercises fail surgery might be of help.
Children with a squint should be operated upon
early as delay in treatment could result in lifelong
monocular vision instead of the normal binocular
vision. This is because the brain will register only
the images sent by the straight eye and ignore those
sent by the defective eye. If untreated, the eye with
the squint is eventually left with no useful vision.
Any correction done later than eight years of age will
only be for cosmetic purposes. Your ophthalmologist
is your best guide.
●

A s it is difficult to go to the doctor for every little

infection please tell me how should I treat my
three- year-old daughter at home and when is the
right time to visit a doctor?
Treat a mild fever, congestion, coughing, and a
sore throat with lots of fluids and rest. If she seems
uncomfortable, childrenʼs acetaminophen can help
reduce the fever (follow directions carefully), but

We MAY 2020
avoid cough and cold medicines.
They don't really help, the dosage can be
confusing and might lead to an overdose. Use saline
drops or spray to moisturise your child's nasal
passage ways and an aspirator to remove excess
mucus. Most kids bounce back within five to seven
days. If she does not improve with the above, if her
fever rises and she develops spots, breathlessness
or any other untoward symptoms please take her to
the pediatrician.
●

M y son is five years old. He gets tummy ache off

and on which is often accompanied by vomiting
and diarrhoea, which leave him weak. Please tell
me what to do in such a situation.
The condition is called gastroenteritis usually
caused by viruses and bacteria. Most stomach
infections clear up within a few days to a week and
require nothing more than rest and tender loving
care. You should make sure your child is drinking
enough fluids to prevent dehydration. The biggest
mistake most parents make is giving too much liquid
at once, which a sick child may not be able to hold
down. Start with just a tablespoon of an electrolyte
solution every 15 minutes and slowly increase the
amount. If your child prefers juices, water it down by
half since they are high in sugar and can exacerbate
diarrhoea.
Once he feels like eating, offer him small amounts
of bananas, khichri or toast. Feeding him curds is a
good idea as it is high in probiotics (which promote
healthy flora in the gut) and contains less sugar.
If he keeps these down, slowly return to regular
meals. Dehydration must be prevented at all costs.
If the condition deteriorates you must take him to the
doctor, for he may need a drip and antibiotics.
●

M y daughter returned from play yesterday with

her eyes all red and watery. I made her splash

We MAY 2020
water and put her to sleep. In the morning there was
yellowish crust that stuck her eyelids together.
Though I cleaned them open with a wet cotton
swab, I am alarmed. Please tell me what to do?
This inflammation of the tissue lining the eyelids
(also called conjunctivitis) causes redness,
yellowish discharge, blurry vision, and crusty eyes.
Pinkeye in younger kids is most often caused by a
bacterial infection, which must be treated with
antibiotic drops.
It can also result from a virus, which doesn't
require medication, or allergies or an irritant in the
air, which can be addressed with allergy eyedrops.
Your child shouldn't return to class until she's
been treated for at least 24 hours. Have her wash
her hands regularly and avoid touching her eyes
and sharing hand towels, blankets, or pillows, so
she doesn't infect anyone else in your home.
●

M y daughter had recently developed an

embarrassing habit of scratching her bottom,
even in public though I keep scolding her and
slapping her hand away. Why does she do that?
The poor girl cannot help herself. She is probably
suffering from pinworms.
Poor hygiene could be a cause for the prevalence
of these tiny parasites. When an infected child
scratches her bottom and doesn't clean her hands,
she can easily pass them on to other kids. They in
turn get infected when they put their hands in their
mouths.
The eggs move down the digestive system, hatch
and lay their eggs around the anus leading to
intense itching. Your doctor will give you special
tape to affix at night and will analyse it for pinworms
and eggs. Only one or two doses of prescription
medication are needed to get rid of them, but you'll Click here
have to wash her towels and bedding in hot water. to read this
– Dr Amrinder Bajaj, MD. article online

We MAY 2020
Judging
Geniuine
Flirting
To avoid
heart break.
By Jyoti Galada

S
ejal felt love again. It was her new office
colleague. A cheerful, handsome man.
But it was not his looks that attracted her,
for there were other handsome guys in her
office whom she never noticed. What drew her
closer to him was his flirtatious nature. He
often indulged in healthy flirting by
teasing her about her looks or acting
childish with her which she enjoyed.
She felt he too liked her, but the
scenario was different. It was his
nature to flirt with every other girl. But
Sejal never understood this and
ended up getting heartbreak when he
introduced her to his girlfriend.
So, have you fallen for a guy who
calls you sweety or pulls your leg
often? Healthy flirting makes everyday
interaction between a man and woman
entertaining. Some men flirt constantly
whereas some for expressing their
feelings beyond friendship. It is
important to understand this line
between friendly and more than
friendly flirting. If he is trying to express his love
for you through flirting then look out for other
indications.

He will not move on: Those who do not harbour any real
attraction will play and move on. But if he stays for a
prolonged time it means he wants to be around you.
He will look and smell nice: If he makes an effort to look
nice in front of you he definitely wants to impress you. He
will also try to smell pleasing to draw your attention.
He will work for you: You need help and he immediately
comes to your rescue, gets concerned if you are unwell,
tries to cheer you up if you are feeling low, supports you if WHENEVER
you have a tussle with a third person, is soft towards you YOU LOCK
and tries to fulfil your demand, asks you out often, then he EYES WITH
is definitely for you. For men tend to be soft towards a
woman they are attracted. HIM HE
He sounds jealous and protective: Does he try to prove SMILES,
himself better than that other guy with whom you are THATʼS A
friendly? Does he defend you in front of others and during POSITIVE
emergency is concerned of saving you along with himself?
Does he show displeasure about your having coffee with SIGN.
some other guy? Then he is jealous and protective towards
you.
He checks you out: He notes everything about you and
maybe teases you in fun. You find him checking you out
often, he tries to sit close to you, puts his arms around your
shoulder, pats you, fixes your strand of hair, touches you
for a bit longer time, sends you naughty text messages or
questions that enter your personal space.
He smiles often: Whenever you lock eyes with him he
smiles, that’s a positive sign. But if he makes the eye contact
normally and continues his work or looks somewhere else
then think twice before falling for him. If you do not find all
these indications or even a few of them then he is not
interested in you but flirting is his way of life. We

Click here to
A good listener is a good talker with a sore throat.
read this article
online

We MAY 2020
Mouth-Watering
Sweets and drink recipes.

PAAN THANDAI
INGREDIENTS:
2 paan/betel leaves
3 cups of milk
3 green cardamom pods
4-5 pistachios
1 tsp fennel seeds
2 tbsps sugar Paan Thandai
Pinch of saffron
METHOD
Crush the paan leaves and add it to a mixer
grinder. To this, add the cardamom pods, fennel
seeds, pistachios and a little bit of milk. Grind this
mixture to a fine consistency.
Heat the milk in a vessel and bring it to a boil.
Add sugar to this and bring it to a boil again. Let it
cool down and refrigerate the milk for two to
three hours.
Blend the refrigerated milk and paan leaves
mixture together
and refrigerate it for another
hour. Garnish it with some chopped dried fruits,
saffron and serve it cold.

We FEBRUARY 2020
 BADAMI PHIRNI
INGREDIENTS:
1/2 cup of white rice
3 cups of milk
1 cup of sugar
12-15 blanched and peeled almonds
2 tbsps green cardamom powder
1 tsp rose water
Pinch of saffron strands
METHOD
Wash and soak the rice for ten minutes. Drain the
water and allow it to air-dry.
Place the rice grains in a coffee grinder and grind
it to a powder like or rava-like consistency. Set it
aside.
Soak a few saffron strands in some warm milk
and keep it aside.
Heat the rest of the milk in a
thick-bottomed vessel and
bring it to a boil.
After this, add the
grounded rice and sugar to it
and allow it to cook for eight
to ten minutes. Keep stirring
occasionally so that there are
no lumps.
When the rice looks almost
cooked, add the chopped
almonds, green cardamom
powder and soaked saffron
strands. Allow it to cook for
three to four minutes and
turn off the flame. Add the
rose water and allow the
phirni to cool down or
refrigerate it.
Garnish it with some sliced
almonds and serve it cold.
Badam Phirni. – Chef Kasi Vishwanathan

We FEBRUARY 2020
HYDERABADI SHAHI TUKDA
INGREDENTS:
FOR RABRI:
2 no crushed green cardamom
4 cups full cream milk
1 tblspn cashew nuts
1 tblspn pistachios
1/2 cup desi ghee
1/2 cup grain sugar
5-6 saffron strands
1 tblspn almonds
Brioche Bread (not sliced)
1/2 loaf
2 cups water
METHOD
FOR SUGAR SYRUP:
Add sugar to water and heat
in a sauce pan, stir till it
dissolves.
Add two to three strands of
saffron.
Let it boil, till the syrup
achieves two string
consistencies.
Once the sugar syrup turns a little thick. Put off Hyderabadi Sahi Tukda
the stove and keep aside.
FOR RABRI:
Take a fresh pan and boil the milk over medium
flame until the milk is reduced to about 1/4th of its
original quantity.
Remember to stir the milk continuously while it
is being reduced.
Add the remaining saffron to it.
Once the milk is reduced to half, add cardamom
powder.
Add sugar syrup or as per desired sweetness and
mix well.
Remove half the semi-reduced milk mixture and
keep aside for later use.

We FEBRUARY 2020
 Continue to heat it by stirring continuously till
the remaining milk mix is reduced.
Once done, remove the pan from the flame and
your rabri is ready. Keep aside until required.
FOR BREAD TUKDA:
Trim the sides of the bread and cut it into 1”
cubes.
Toast the bread cubes over in a medium hot oven
till they are semi crisp.
Melt some ghee in a pan and spread it over all
sides of the toasted bread evenly with the help of a
brush.
Put the bread back into the oven and heat until
they are crisp and golden brown on each side.
Soak each cube in the semi-reduced milk mixture
and leave aside for about a minute.
ASSEMBLY
Take a non-stick pan and arrange the soaked
bread cubes over it.
Pour the prepared rabri over the bread.
Place the pan in a medium hot oven or a medium
flame for about seven to ten minute.
Garnish with the chopped nuts.
Remove and keep aside till it is time to serve.
Plate the shahi tukda on to a serving plate and
sprinkle some more flakes of nut before serving.

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We FEBRUARY 2020
KOTHIMBIR VADI
INGREDIENT FOR VADI:
2 cups, finely chopped fresh coriander
11/2 cup besan (gram flour)
1/2 tspn, chopped ginger
1/2 tspn, chopped garlic
1 chopped green chili
1 tblspn sesame seeds
2 tblspn crushed roasted
peanuts
1/2 teaspoon red chili powder
1 tspn cumin powder
1 tspn coriander powder
1/4 tspn turmeric powder
Salt to taste
1/4 cup water
Oil for basting
For Relish:
1 each red and yellow bell peppers Kothimbadi Vadi
1 medium onion
3/4th cup apple cider vinegar
11/4th cup sugar
Salt a pinch
1-2 fresh red chilies
MEDIUM AS PER DESIRED HOTNESS
Making the Relish:
Trim tops off fresh chili and finely chop it.
Cut the bell peppers and onion into small cube.
Transfer all the above into a sauce pan.
Stir sugar, vinegar, and salt into the sauce pan
and bring to a boil over high heat.
Reduce heat to medium and simmer, stirring
more frequently toward end of cooking to prevent
scorching, until thickened, 20 to 30 minutes.
Pour or ladle relish into clean container.
Let cool to room temperature, and store for later
use.
– Chef Sidharth Sharma

We FEBRUARY 2020
RANG BIRANGE PHOOL
INGREDIENTS:
500 gms refined flour
100 gms beaten curd
100 gms desi ghee
1tspn. baking powder
10 gms ajwain
4 types 6-8 drops each food colour
Oil - for frying
Warm sugar syrup - for dipping
METHOD
Mix flour, ajwain, baking powder.
Add in yoghurt and mix well with soft hands, add
desi ghee and rub well. (Not too hard)
Add water in small quantities to form a soft but
stiff dough.
Divide in five equal parts.
Mix one colour in each part and leave one as
plain.
Now roll out each dough ball thinkly around 5mm
thickness. Cut into circular shapes using round
cutter around three inches diameter.
Place one coloured circle as base and
other colour on top covering around
half the circle at base.
Repeat this for all colours.
Now roll out as cigar,
applying water where
necessary to stick.
Cut into gal and open the
sides to form like a flower.
With different coloured
petals.
Fry in oil till nicely crisped
and cooked.
Dip in warm sugar syrup to
get thin coat of sweetness.
Serve at room temperature
Rang Birange Phool with thandai or lassi.

We FEBRUARY 2020
 Holi Sugar Coconut
Cookies

HOLI SUGAR COCONUT COOKIES

INGREDIENTS:
100 gms refined flour
100 gms coconut (desiccated)
100 gms salted butter
100 gms sugar powder
10 gms custard powder
25 ml toned milk
Edible food colour – (blue, yellow, red, pink, green
etc.)
METHOD
Mix butter and sugar, till it completely dissolves.
Add milk
Add all other ingredients for a thick mixture
consistency.
Make small rounds and place on baking tray.
Bake for around 20 min. at 150 degree.
Color them with desired choice of colors with
brunch and serve while playing Holi…..
– Chef Manoj Rawat We

We FEBRUARY 2020
 Fashion
Runway Colourful
dresses
with net
socks and
shoes gives
back to
school feel
and looks
very fresh.

Fashion industry is an unpredictable

world. Portraying the journey of two
models who were best friends, who
tasted success together but over the
time became arch enemies until they
were ready to die for each other again.
 Beautiful
gowns paired
with color
contrasted
feather
accessories.
This look
stands out and
make all the
heads turn.

We FEBRUARY 2020
Bikini with body
chains and
headgear looks
stunning..
Beaded tassel
tops with
bodysuit and
fishnet
stockings looks
outstanding and
gives the
complete
showstopper
feel.
Black leather
jacket with
long trail
paired with fur
and bling
jewellery looks
breathtaking.
Multicoloured
jacket with plain
coloured skirt
paired with
multicolour feather
jewellery gives an
amazing feel.
Embroidered
jackets with
colourful
dhoti pants is
an ultimate
party wear.

Fashion and Cover Courtesy:

Concept and Styling: Madhuri Singh
Makeup and Hair by: Harry and Team Ravisherr
Designers: Saaj by Ankita, Nasty small room by
Aman Bajaj,
Junne, Stuti Shah, Ashfaque Ahmad Design Studio
Intimate Wear: Da Intimo
Stockings and Socks: Kerryparker Official
Head Gears: Ganesh Vyas
Accessories: Bijoux by Priya Chandna
Rings: Noorah by Juhi
Footwear: Radika J. Click here to
Location: Rabbit Hole, HKV read this article
Photographer: Ramesh Sharma online
 L a u g h t e r Making merry
with for happy living.

Playful By Suman Bajpai

Communication
Y
ouʼve been married for 15 years, but your
last intimate conversation with your
husband was seven years ago. Now, you
and your spouse talk more about children and
day-to-day problems rather than your own
emotions. You spend more time arguing over
money and spending than reliving your favourite
memories. The relationship experts claim that
communication is woven through every aspect of
a relationship. It reflects how each person in a
relationship feels about the other.
Maybe, it feels like you have known
your mate forever and you think he
can interpret every expression on
your face and read your mind.
Instead of assuming, itʼs important
to communicate your needs
instead of waiting for your partner
to guess them. Communicate
clearly to get rid of any assumptions.
This is a perfect way to improve
communication in your relationship.

CREATES A SENSE OF INTIMACY

Playful communication is one of the

We MAY 2020
most effective tools for keeping relationships
exciting, fresh and vital. Laughter and play
enrich your interactions and give your
relationship that extra zing that keeps them
interesting, light and enjoyable. This shared
pleasure creates a sense of intimacy and
connection that are essential for lasting
relationship.
Humour and playfulness can strengthen
relationship—but only when both people are in
on the joke. When playfulness is one-sided
rather than mutual, it undermines trust and
goodwill and damages the relationship.
When conflict and disagreement throw a LAUGHTER HAS A
wrench in your relationship, humour and POWERFUL EFFECT
playfulness can help lighten things up and ON YOUR HEALTH
restore a sense of connection. Used skilfully and AND WELL-BEING. A
respectfully, playful humour can turn conflict into
GOOD LAUGH
an opportunity for shared fun and intimacy. It RELIEVES TENSION
allows you to get your point across without
getting the other personʼs defences up or hurting
AND STRESS,
their feelings. ELEVATES MOOD,
ENHANCES
A GOOD LAUGH RELIEVES TENSION CREATIVITY AND
Laughter has a powerful effect on your health PROBLEM-SOLVING
and well-being. A good laugh relieves tension ABILITY, AND
and stress, elevates mood, enhances creativity PROVIDES A QUICK
and problem-solving ability, and provides a quick ENERGY BOOST.
energy boost. The next time an argument gets
heated, instead of yelling or turning a cold
shoulder, try to find some humour in the situation
to help improve communication.
Laughter brings people together. Mutual
laughter and play are an essential component of
strong, healthy relationship. By making a
conscious effort to incorporate more humour and
play into your daily interactions, you can improve
the quality of your love relationship.
Laughter opens us up, freeing us to express

We MAY 2020
Big Role what we truly feel and allowing our deep, genuine
Laughter plays a emotions to rise to the surface. When you laugh
big role in mating. with your spouse, a positive bond is created. This
Men like women who bond acts as a strong shield against stress,
laugh heartily in their disagreements, and disappointment. And laughter
presence. really is contagious—just hearing laughter primes
Both sexes laugh a your brain to smile and join in on the fun.
lot, but females Laughter relieves fatigue and relaxes your body,
laugh more – 126 per while also recharging your batteries and helping
cent more than their you accomplish more. A sense of humour is the
male counterparts. key to resilience. It helps you take hardships in
Men are more laugh- your stride, whether disappointment, and bounce
getters. back from adversity and loss.
The laughter of the Of all the elements that contribute to the warm
female is the critical atmosphere of a good relationship, there is one
index of a healthy that seldom gets translated into advice or even
relationship. therapy. Yet it is something that everyone desires
Like yawning, and most people would like more of laughter. The
laughter is irony is that most of the laughs married couples
contagious; the get from TV laugh tracks, not from each other.
laughter of others is They donʼt emanate from the relationship.
irresistible.
One of the best TALK THROUGH TOUCH
ways to stimulate Communication involves more than words.
laughter – and it’s One important way to communicate is through
probably the most touch because nonverbal cues are critical to
ancient way – is by communication. These cues include gestures
tickling. Tickling is like eye contact, touching your partner and even
inherently social; we leaning forward when your partner is talking.
can’t tickle ourselves. Paying attention to nonverbal cues your partner
We tickle to get a is sending, or making an effort to send more
response. So the nonverbal cues yourself, is one way to improve
next time you have communication in your relationship. Nonverbal
an argument with cues also help couples build trust and
your mate, don’t strengthen bonds.
walk out of the room Express your feelings in a clear way. Use more
and slam the door. than two or three words to explain to your
Try tickling your partner how you feel. If you tell your partner you
partner instead. are sad, explain the degree of sadness you are

We MAY 2020
feeling to avoid miscommunication.

HEALTH BENEFITS
Laughter and playfulness also come with
numerous physical and mental health benefits.
Laughter triggers a host of healthy changes in
your brain and body. The mental health benefits
of laughter are tied to the physical benefits.
When your body is relaxed and energised, you
are better able to think and communicate clearly.
This helps you keep your own emotions in
check, relate in a positive way to others, and
resolve conflict.
Laughter is particularly a powerful antidote to
depression and anxiety. Having a sense of
humour offsets depression and anxiety which
makes the relationship tension-free.

FOLLOW THESE TIPS

Set aside three hours each month for a fun,
playful date – again this is more likely to happen if
it is the same time each month, and if it is an easy
to remember time – going for the first whatever
day is best. This date is a sacred commitment –
just like a first date, and absolutely nothing takes
precedence over it! You can go out for a meal or
watch a movie. Take a walk together in your
neighbourhood, along a nature trail, by the river
or the ocean.
Stay home and play cards, a board game. Go to
an art gallery, museum, play or concert.
Playing doesnʼt have to cost much money and
play can be indoors, outdoors, serious, silly,
sports, and hobbies, intellectual, mildly
competitive, romantic, sexual, spiritual, or
seasonal. Get in the car and go for a long drive. We
Click here to
Laughter is the closest distance read this article
between two people. online

We MAY 2020
Sthoorryt
S
ABANDONED
ELEGANCE
He said that New Finally she chose the proper path.
York truly was
the greatest city
By Eden Francisca Fernandes

T
in the world.
Packed with life ime didnʼt seem to move forward. The
and energy, the Earth spun around 1670 km an hour, her
city never sleeps. mind spun about 100,000 km per second.
He told her She was dizzy and obviously at a whole new
about the level of high. She had never tried alcohol before
museums and in her life, but this time, her intentions got the
also about the better of her. The alcohol seemed to help her
Empire State think. She was so distressed, so confused. It
Building, and how was a question of her self-esteem, her pride, her
millions came to dignity, her integrity. It was also a question of
see it every year. her dreams, aspirations, desires and
wishes…
Now, it was as if the contentious
fire might branch out letting
loose an uncurbed but
ingenious vision; as if all her
barriers had suddenly melted away leaving her
in a twilight zone amidst which rose the
diabolical question, “What if?”
Monica Danton was an extraordinarily ordinary
woman. She grew up in a small town called
Crowley Meadows in Tennessee. Her whole life
was centred on her wishes to earn enough to
leave Tennessee and move to New York.
When she was younger, her uncle Ben used to
take her for long walks in the countryside and
more than often, they picnicked under the THE ALCOHOL
banyan trees. It was a beautiful vision really as,
between the elliptical long leaves, one could see SEEMED TO
the sharp rays of the sun and admire the HELP HER
beautiful blue of the sky above. THINK. SHE
Uncle Ben always narrated stories of when he WAS SO
had visited New York. He told her that if you
stood at Times Square long enough, you could DISTRESSED,
see the entire world walk by. He said that New SO CONFUSED.
York truly was the greatest city in the world.
Packed with life and energy, the city never
sleeps. He told her about the museums and also
about the Empire State Building, and how
millions came to see it every year. Monica
dreamt about starting a life in one of the most
fast-paced cities of the world. It was her ultimate
goal. Apart from wanting to be a writer.

I t was always her uncle Ben who encouraged

her to pursue her dreams of becoming a writer.
Her parents, however, were against this and
made her study law. Since the death of uncle
Ben, Monica felt that she owed it to him to
continue pursuing her dreams.
After she graduated from law school, she got
an internship with Crowley Law Firm. Life got too
monotonous for her liking. She needed to break
free. She needed freedom. She didnʼt want to be
one of those people stuck in a dead-end job that

We MAY 2020
 they were never content with. So a day after her
23rd birthday, she stood up to her parents, told
them she was going to follow her heart, and left
the place she had spent her whole life in. She
secretly knew that she was never going to come
back.

N ew York was everything she expected and

more. The serenity of the lakes upstate, the
variety of cultures, the exciting nightlife,
everything exhilarated her. She was going to
make the most of this. She didnʼt worry much
IT WAS about what the townspeople spoke about her
ALWAYS HER when she packed and left because life was too
UNCLE BEN short to lay stress on unnecessary issues.
Since Monica was 17 she had been writing
WHO perplexing poems. It was her way of releasing
ENCOURAGED her thoughts. When she felt creative she would
HER TO sit alone for hours on end, writing mostly
PURSUE HER poems. Now, she had a portfolio. She knew it
was good enough to be published, her only
DREAMS OF wish was to establish herself as a writer. She
BECOMING A wanted the world to appreciate the talent that
WRITER. her family disregarded.
Nine days, 31 poems and 18 publishers later,
Monica needed a break. All she heard from
them was that there really wasnʼt a market for
poems at the moment. Every publisher asked
her either to wait until there was a demand for
poems or to try her hand at writing something
else. They also mentioned that her work was
very good, which was enough to keep her
going.
To celebrate her second week in New York,
she decided to explore the city of dreams. She
stood at the centre of Times Square,
overwhelmed by its allure. She remembered
her uncle Ben, and wished he was with her.
She needed a bit more motivation to…

We MAY 2020
 “Excuse me Miss? Are you lost?”
“Um, no, Iʼm sorry I was in the way.”
“Whatʼs a pretty woman like you doing here all
by yourself?”
Pretty? PRETTY? No one had ever spoken to
Monica like that. She was a simple, country girl
and here was this handsome man with the most
gorgeous light blue eyes hitting on her.
“Hello? You havenʼt said anything for about
two minutes now.”
“Oh, sorry. Iʼm a mess at the moment! “
“Coffee?”
SHE KNEW IT
Time passed by quickly. Monica and Greg hit it WAS GOOD
off immediately. They chatted for three hours on ENOUGH TO
a roll. Monica had never felt so comfortable with BE PUBLISHED,
anyone before. Monica told this person she just
met everything about herself, how she left her
HER ONLY
past and came to New York for a fresh start. WISH WAS TO
They had a good time and when it was time to ESTABLISH
leave, Greg asked her to see him again the next HERSELF AS
day. Monica readily agreed. Life in New York
was getting more interesting.
A WRITER.

T hey saw each other a few times, they were

quite similar. Greg too left his home in
upscale Boston to make his way in New York
City. He seemed to have a firm stand when it
came to talking about his past or his family. He
was really good at changing topics, but Monica
didnʼt mind. She always figured that it was just
something he might not want to remember.
He invited her to go clubbing one night.
Monica wasnʼt much of a dancer, but maybe
that was because she had never really been to
a club before, let alone a club In New York
City! She dressed appropriately, sort of. She
looked stunning in her new dress. It set her
back a few dollars along with the heels she
bought to pair her new dress with. She looked

We MAY 2020
 smart and seemed to tantalise everyone who
laid eyes on her.
This was a new Monica. One who loved life
and took part in it wholly. She grabbed
opportunities and ceased all anxieties.
Unfortunately she still didnʼt get anywhere with
her dream of writing, but she never stopped
pursuing it.
Greg was a sight for sore eyes. He picked a
blue suit for the night.
THIS WAS A “Arenʼt you a tad bit overdressed for the club,
Greg?”
NEW MONICA. “Arenʼt you?”
ONE WHO “Fair enough.”
LOVED LIFE He chuckled before replying, “This is not the
AND TOOK kind of club you imagine it to be, Monica, Itʼs,
um, upscale.”
PART IN IT “Well, letʼs not waste any time!”
WHOLLY. SHE The interiors were a huge contrast to what she
GRABBED saw of the building standing outside. It was
OPPORTUNITI grand. This club would probably end up on the
list of places she would not be able to afford to
ES AND go out to. Greg got them a couple of drinks at
CEASED ALL their table. Monica debated with herself about
ANXIETIES. having a drink, but she contemplated what
Greg might think of her and decided to have her
first drink ever.
“Cheers to new beginnings!”

G reg made her feel special. He had eyes only

for her. They talked all night, danced closely
to the romantic sounds of whatever the house
band was playing, and he never let go of her
hand. He held it with utmost care. She felt
protected. He truly made her feel like more of a
woman. EVERY SINGLE
Once it was past midnight, Greg took her up to
the “special” booths to introduce her to some of THING. AND
his friends. She was pleased with that. She felt NOW SHE
like she was slowly becoming a small part of his WAITED
life. Maybe he would soon open up to her a bit ANXIOUSLY TO
more. Monica had told him everything about
herself. Every single thing. And now she waited HEAR ABOUT
anxiously to hear about him. His walls were HIM. HIS
about to break down soon, she could see it WALLS WERE
happen. ABOUT TO
They drank a lot that night. Monica was
overwhelmed by what alcohol was doing to her. BREAK DOWN
She didnʼt really acquire the taste, but it made SOON, SHE
her feel confident and bold, something that COULD SEE IT
never came to her naturally. She felt unafraid HAPPEN.
and decided to take the risk…
She kissed him passionately. That wasnʼt even
the scariest part. She was more concerned with
whether he would reciprocate the kiss. He
seemed taken aback in the beginning, but he
kissed her back.
Fired with unfulfilled passion, he asked her
whether he could take her home with him. They
left immediately.
They kissed a bit on the way to his rented
apartment before he stopped her to talk.
“Monica, I know who you are. I know
everything about you. I can help you, Monica. I

We MAY 2020
 can help you achieve your dream.”
“What does that mean?”
“I knew EVERYTHING about you. Even before
you told me.”
“Explain more.”
“I work for a publishing company. The editor is
my best friend. I can get your poems published.
You can finally have what you want.”
“I donʼt know what to say, Greg. This is a bit
too intimidating, considering the fact that I also
donʼt think Iʼm in my senses at the moment. And
HE GAVE how exactly did you know who I was?”
HER SOME “Itʼs all right Monica, I know what you want.”
MORE He made her slurp down another glass of gin
ALCOHOL. and tonic.
They entered his apartment. Monica could
AND NOW, hardly focus on taking in the beauty of his
MONICA home.
KNEW SHE Greg pulled her closer, she got goose bumps
WAS SLOWLY all over. No man had ever held her like that.
“I can give you what you want. If you give me
LOSING GRIP. what I want.”
“What does that mean, Greg?”
“How can you be so naïve, darling? I want
you. All of you. And in return, Iʼll get your poems
published. And whatever else you want
published in the near future. All you have to do
is follow my lead.”

H e gave her some more alcohol. And now,

Monica knew she was slowly losing grip.
She knew what was happening. She was caught
up in a web of lust and deceit. But it was also a
step closer to her dream. Her own book of
poems. How badly she wanted it. She wanted
this desperately. She battled with her
consciousness once again. She knew this was
wrong, but Greg was on the path to convincing
her. He explained that it would be years before

We MAY 2020
she could get her book published. He told her
how this was an easier way. She drank a bit
more. He told her she could finally prove to her
parents that her dream was worth
pursuing. He even told her that she would come
up to Uncle Benʼs encouragement.
While Monica was deep in thought, Greg went
ahead to wait for her in the bedroom.
Monica was still confused, bewildered and
demented. The man she thought would be her
one and only turned out to be the devil in an
impressive disguise. Greg called out to Monica. THE MAN SHE
She came to New York a month back. She THOUGHT
had no job, no publishing deal yet and no family. WOULD BE HER
This could be her express ticket into the life she ONE AND ONLY
always yearned for.
TURNED OUT

T ime didnʼt seem to move forward. The Earth

spun around 1670 km an hour, her mind
spun about 100,000 km per second. She was
TO BE THE
DEVIL IN AN
IMPRESSIVE
dizzy and obviously at a whole new level of
high. She had never tried alcohol before in her DISGUISE.
life, but this time, her intentions got the better of
her. The alcohol seemed to help her think. She
was so distressed, so confused. It was a
question of her self-esteem, her pride, her
dignity, her integrity…It was also a question of
her dreams, aspirations, her desires and
wishes….
Now, it was as if the contentious fire might
branch out letting loose an uncurbed but
ingenious vision; as if all her barriers had
suddenly melted away leaving her in a twilight
zone amidst which rose the diabolical question,
“What if?”
Greg called out to Monica again. Click here to
What did Monica Danton do? read this article
She took the path less travelled on. We online

We MAY 2020
 I am Pregnant

QA
Is it all right to have sex during pregnancy?
&

Having sexual intercourse during pregnancy will not

harm the foetus. You can continue right up to the onset
of labour. As your abdomen enlarges, you may find inter-
course more comfortable in positions that put less
pressure on your abdomen like side by side or you on
top. However if you develop complication like bleeding/-
pain, your doctor may ask you to avoid intercourse and
nipple stimulation. These activities may cause
contractions of the uterus and preterm labour. FOODS TO BE
●

How many times should a baby move in a day? How will I AVOIDED IN
know that the movements of my baby are normal or not? PREGNANCY
It is good to keep a track of the baby’s movements as it INCLUDE FAST
gives us a fair idea about its well-being. This does not FOODS AND
mean that the baby should be moving all the time. Like
us it too needs periods of rest and sleep. Usually COLAS FOR
foetuses are most active after the mother has had a meal THEIR ZERO
or at night. Overall most mothers get a fair idea of how NUTRITIVE
much their baby moves. Broadly speaking if the VALUE.
movements are less that 50 per cent of the usual even
for day, you must visit your doctor. If there is any doubt,
your doctor will ask you to keep a kick count for an hour
after breakfast, lunch and dinner. If there are 3-4
movements each time your baby is fine.
●

What sort of food should I avoid during pregnancy?

Foods to be avoided in pregnancy include fast foods
and colas for their zero nutritive value. The dark coloured
sodas like pepsi have a high caffeine content that is not
good for the baby. Unpasteurised cheese, unpasteurised
milk, raw eggs, raw or undercooked fish (sushi), shellfish

We MAY 2020
 and processed meats. These foods can cause infections
like listerosis, toxoplasmosis and salmonella which in
turn can lead to birth defects in the foetus or
miscarriage. Certain fish like tuna, king mackerel may
have high mercury levels that may affect the nervous
system of the baby and are best avoided. Also it goes
without saying that unhygienic street food should be
avoided for if you contract diarrhoea, besides the disease
process itself, medication can also be a problem. Mild
medicines do not cure the problem and strong ones are
harmful to the pregnancy so be cautious.
THERE IS A ●

CONDITION I am in the seventh month of my first pregnancy. My

problem is that I have severe itching all over my body.
CALLED Please tell me what is it due to and what should I
CHOLESTASIS do about it?
OF PREGNANCY There is a condition called cholestasis of pregnancy
DUE TO A due to a derangement in liver enzymes and that leads to
severe itching. This can have a derogatory effect on the
DERANGEMENT foetus. At times it can lead to intrauterine foetal death.
IN LIVER Therefore, it has become the practice to induce labour
ENZYMES AND pains in a woman with cholestasis of pregnancy two
THAT LEADS TO weeks prior to the due date. In the meantime you will be
prescribed medicines and lotions to decrease the itch
SEVERE and make your life more comfortable.
ITCHING. ●

I would like to know how many Caesarean sections can

a woman have.
Usually the maximum number of Caesareans that can
be done are three. In special circumstances when there is
no living issue one can undertake a fourth Caesarian
section after exercising great caution.
●

What is BPS and why is it done?

BPS stands for biophysical score and it the baby’s first
test. Depending on various parameters like heart rate,
breathing movements, tone and amount of fluid around
the baby, the foetus is given a score. If it gets full marks it
means that there is no cause for worry. If not action has

We MAY 2020
to be taken according to the situation. It is usually done
when the pregnancy is considered high risk as in:
✿ Diabetes mellitus/gestational diabetes
✿ High BP
✿ Decreased foetal movement
✿ Being overdue
✿ Previous stillbirth
✿ IUGR (intra uterine growth retardation)
✿ Any other complications in pregnancy
●

My ultrasound report at 14 weeks has shown that I have a TRY NOT TO

low-lying placenta. Please tell me what is a low-lying
placenta and it will affect my pregnancy. SLEEP ON
The placenta is an organ that takes food and oxygen YOUR BACK
from the mother to the baby and waste products and FROM THE
carbon dioxide from the baby to the mother. It is usually BEGINNING
situated somewhere in the upper part of the uterus and
is delivered soon after the birth of the child. OF THE FIFTH
Occasionally, instead of being attached to the upper part MONTH
of the uterus it lies low, towards the cervix (the mouth of ONWARDS.
the uterus). This could lead to bleeding from the vagina
at times. To avoid this you should avoid intercourse,
internal examination, squatting, straining due to cough,
constipation etc. As the pregnancy advances, the
condition usually rights itself.
●

I am five months pregnant with my first child. Please tell

me what is the best position to sleep in.
Try not to sleep on your back from the beginning of
the fifth month onwards. This is because the growing
uterus presses upon the big blood vessels that lie
immediately behind it that may lead to breathlessness
and fainting attacks. It also inhibits digestion. Sleeping
on the side, especially the left side, increases the flow to
the placenta thereby increasing the transfer of oxygen
and nutrients to the baby optimising its growth. It also
enhances the flow of blood to the kidneys which leads to Click here to
better elimination of waste products. read this article
– Dr Amrinder Kaur Bajaj, MD. online

We MAY 2020
 Sweaty
Underarms
can be so
Embarassing!
What are the options? By Sudha Hariharan

E
xcessive underarm sweating is
uncontollable and annoying. Apart from
the disomfort you feel with sweat trickling
down and the tell-all stains, it can undermine
your confidence in a big way.
Did you know that over 220 million people of
the world, suffer from this and are in need of
treatment? Thirty per cent of them show higher
risk of developing skin infections caused by
bacteria, viruses and fungi; 95 per cent said
sweating intensified when they were anxious or

We MAY 2020
stressed.
Also known as polyhydrosis or sudorrhea, this
is a condition characterised by excessive
sweating, that is not necessarily related to
higher temperatures or exercise. One may sweat
so much that it soaks through oneʼs clothes or
drips off oneʼs hands.
Besides disrupting normal daily activities,
hyperhidrosis can cause social anxiety,
embarrassment and psychological trauma.
Hyperhidrosis tends to begin during
adolescence. Mostly armpits, feet and hands are
affected, because of their relatively high

concentration of sweat glands.

Leading dermatologist, Dr Falguni Shah talks
about the various treatment available to banish
his embarrassing problem.

TREATMENT OF HYPERHIDROSIS (ESPECIALLY

FOR AXILLARY HYPERHIDROSIS)
Prior to any treatment in the underarms an
iodine-starch test can be performed which
displays blue- black discoloration in areas
responsible for excess sweating.

We MAY 2020
 Botulinum toxin (Botox injections): Botox
injections block the nerves that trigger the sweat
glands. Onabotulotoxin A is a naturally purified
protein with the ability to temporarily block the
secretion of the chemical that is responsible for
“turning on” the body sweat glands. By blocking
or interrupting this chemical messenger,
botulinum toxin “turns off” sweating at the area
where it has been injected. You can also try out a
Results are noticeable approximately two to few of the simple home
four days after treatment with full effects usually remedies listed:
✿ Dab a cotton in apple
noted within two weeks. Results can last as long
cider vinegar and apply
as 14 months. Anything between 100-120 units to the underarm, leave it
of Botox could be used for both underarms. overnight. Wash off and
apply deodorant as usual.
Micro needling with secret: A novel ✿ Apply a paste made
with corn starch, baking
radiofrequency (RF) treatment approach for soda and essential
axillary hyperhidrosis using the secret RF device lavender oil. If you are in
(from Ilooda Co.Ltd, Korea), appears to a hurry, just baking
significantly reduce the production of axillary powder will suffice.
✿ You can add crushed
sweat, offering hope for those patients who camphor to coconut oil
suffer from this condition. and massage it in.
It is a fractional bi-polar RF system that ✿ Aloe vera juice/gel
employs micro-needles to penetrate the skin at soothes, cools and helps
the preset depth ranging from 0.5mm to 3.5mm, regulate excessive
sweating.
and precisely deliver energy to the target site.
The treatment is painless under local One no longer needs to
anaesthesia. Despite a marked improvement in suffer from embarrassing
axillary hyperhidrosis after two sessions wet patches on
underarms. Its time to
performed at six-week interval, most of the wear and flaunt all our
patients were keen for further improvement, so a silk and satin wear and
third or fourth session can certainly be get rid of axillary odour.
considered.
Some alterations in daily activity and lifestyle
can also help the patient to some extent. Some
prescription antiperspirants like aluminium
chloride, which plugs the sweat glands can be Click here to
used. Armpit shields protect a garment from read this article
perspiration. We online

We MAY 2020
While
DATING
online
What to keep in mind. By Riya Pahuja

W
ith almost everything going online and social
from planning a trip to cooking food, from
making reservations online to making friends
online. Why should have opened online dating lag
behind. The advanced tech and online portals have
opened more doorways for those who wish to find
their partners online.
When it comes to dating online we make a whole
lot of efforts to look better through our dating profile.
Little do we know that sometimes instead of making
us look better we make it worse for ourselves.
Here are some points that could help you find a
partner so easily.

CREATE YOUR PROFILE

Your bio is the thing that someone is going to notice
first. Keep in mind that this bio of yours will make the
other persons interest in you. So, try avoiding errors in
that. And provide the Information which is just enough.
Just let the other person peek into you not see the
whole of you

KNOW WHAT YOU WANT

Donʼt be confused about what you want from your
partner. Be very clear about what you desire, a proper
relationship or just a fling. Also, mention in your profile
what interests you or attracts you about the other
person.

BE REAL
If it is a serious connection that you are looking for
then keep your profile as real as possible. Try creating
your real identity than to fake things. If you dummy
yourself it might create a problem for you when you
reach somewhere in your relationship.

PLAY COOL
After finding someone you like, donʼt get
overexcited. Let it go slow and smooth. Donʼt ping
them a text at first. Let them also take some time
going through your profile. Then initiate a conversation
or maybe exchange phone numbers. Once you feel
comfortable talking to them go ahead and plan a date.

GIVING UP TOO SOON

Once you have created your profile youʼre gonna
meet and talk to people. At times it could be possible
that you donʼt like a person or the person may not like
you. Donʼt get disheartened by this. It wonʼt be on the Click here to
first occasion that you will meet your soulmate. read this
So donʼt give up too soon. We
article online

We MAY 2020
 WHAT’S SEX ?
Itʼs good for health. By Jai Dev Sharma

S
ex is an excellent exercise that burns calories,
improves blood circulation, relieves pain, tones
muscles, counters depression and makes you look
younger. Sex can increase breathing rate, boost circulation
and strengthen muscles. Muscular contractions during
intercourse work the pelvis, thighs, buttocks, arms, neck
and thorax. During this activity, sex boosts production of
testosterone, which leads to stronger bone and muscles.
During sex, serotonins are released which promote the
aftergrow of sex. A 55-year-old woman whose partner told

We MAY 2020
her that after sex she looked younger, tested out his theory
recently by looking in the mirror. “I could not believe it
myself,” she says, “I looked 20 years younger. My eyes
were brighter, my skin was smoother, my whole being
amazing was perkier. The afterglow is really.”
Our bodies seem to like predictable patterns such as
regular mealtime and bedtimes. A series of US studies
found that women who have sex at least once a week are
more likely to have regular menstrual cycles, fewer infertility
problems and an easier menopause than women who
either have irregular or no sex.
Regular sex for many months or even a year before
conception could also lead to safer pregnancy. According to
research by reproductive biologists in Australia, this helps
relax the motherʼs natural defences, reducing her risk of
miscarriage or stillbirths.
Sex is the glue that gives us the depth of emotional
connection that is unique to marital relationships. Any
couple who stop having sex often feel like room mates or
siblings – with the accompanying rivalry and squabbles. A
British study reported that couples who volunteered to
abstain from sex for three months or so all started to
experience marital difficulties. Another research shows that
couples who are sexually active are happier than couples
who are not.
Enjoyable sex relieves workday stresses. A woman
whose husband is often away on business says, “I get edgy
if he is away for a week or so and it comes out as irritation
and restlessness.” Once her husband returns, the sexual
release creates an immediate sense of well-being.
Researchers have found that after sex, production of the
hormone prolactin surges. This in return causes stem cells
in the brain to develop new neurons in the brainʼs olfactory
bulb, its smell centre. In short, an active sex life can aid us
in living longer too. An expert at Scotlandʼs Edinburgh
Hospital, who conducted a study on a group of 1500 people
– ranging from 18 to 102 years – found that sex actually Click here to
slows the ageing process. According to him sex also leads read this
to greater health and consequently a younger look. We article online

We MAY 2020
 The
Empty-Nest
Syndrome
How to cope with it. By Sudha Balachandran

A
s parents – and more so as mothers – we have
spent the better part of our lives tending to and
taking care of our children. Starting from the
pregnancy stage, our first and foremost concern has
always been the well-being of our little ones – Did they
eat well? Did they get enough sleep? Did they get

We MAY 2020
sufficient physical activity? Did they do well in
school? And did they make good friends? And so
on. We worried endlessly, tried to protect them
from hurt and rejection, encouraged them to
grow, to explore newer horizons; and urged
them to spread their wings.
We built a small nest – filled it with love and
care and nurtured the fledglings. We sacrificed
quite a few of our own dreams and desires to
keep our kids
happy. As working
mothers, we
opted for jobs
that had flexible
hours that let us
spend more time
with the
children. We put
our careers on
hold and did not
pursue bigger
opportunities
as that would
have meant
leaving the
home and the
children. Many
of us quit our
well-paying
jobs just so we could
be around the kids and tend to them. Our every
waking moment was spent planning their
activities – driving them around, dropping them
off in classes, waiting to pick them up, preparing
their favourite meals, baking cakes and pies to
satisfy their sweet cravings, rustling up quick
treats to feed their and their friends’ ever-hungry
stomachs. All our schedules were planned to
revolve around the children’s activities.

We MAY 2020
 Today, the little ones have grown and morphed
into young adults. They are ready to leave the
nest – to pursue higher education, to take up
new jobs, to follow their dreams. And with their
going away, we are left with an empty nest. As
mothers, this is a very difficult period for all of
us. Not only do we feel the emotional vacuum
but we are also at a total loss not knowing what
to do with our lives. After all, we spent a good
part of 20 years ‘revolving around our sun’ and
now without our ‘respective suns’, we feel
totally out of place; lost in the nether world,
continuing to spin but without any focus. The
sudden feeling of ‘not being wanted’ and not
being important in our children’s lives catches us
off-guard and shakes our confidence and our
self-esteem. The raw hurt that comes from TODAY,
separation gnaws at our insides and may THE LITTLE
sometimes be too much to handle. ONES HAVE
But let us not despair. This is a situation that
every mother will have to face. This is a period
GROWN AND
that we need to plan and prepare for. We need MORPHED
to think positively and with an open mind. Here INTO YOUNG
are some key actions that will help us gain ADULTS.
control over the situation.

Learn to spend time usefully-life beyond

parenting: The most positive outcome of the
situation is that we now have plenty of time on
our hands. Our time is no more bound by our
children’s schedules. We can now look forward
to spending it meaningfully on activities that we
had always planned to do.

Get fit and active: An able mind in an agile body

is the panacea to all our problems. Now, that we
have time, there can be no more excuses. Our
health and fitness is of utmost importance and
now is the best time to start and adhere to a

We MAY 2020
strict regimen of healthy eating and regular
exercise. We can enroll into a yoga course for
regulating our breath and improving our
flexibility, or we could join the local gym. (For
some of us, it may be re-joining as we diligently
took a membership before but ended up visiting
the gym only on very few occasions). For those
of us who love to dance, we could join a Zumba
class or a Pilates class to make our work-out
routine interesting and fun. Or we could just put
on a pair of shoes and go for a brisk walk or take
an early-morning jog.
When we exercise
regularly, the ‘feel-
good’ endorphins
get released in our
brain, thus making
us happy and
cheerful. All worries
and anxieties are
kept at bay and the
stress of
separation from
our children can
be better handled.

Pursue a hobby:
We have often
complained that
we did not take
up a hobby as
there was no time. That
will no more be a valid reason. We can now enroll
and start afresh or continue from where we had
paused. It could be classical music, or dance,
photography, foreign language or any other
course that appeals to us. Not only will this help
us learn the art, we will also be using our time
constructively.

We MAY 2020
 Revive old friendships and develop social
network: The importance of friends and
friendships in our lives can never be overrated.
They are there for us at all times – to share our
moments of glory and happiness, to lend their
shoulders in our moment of grief, to yank us
back to reality when we are floating on clouds of
irrationality. Due to our busy lives when caring
for the children, we may have lost touch with a
few of our friends.
Now is the best time to revive those old
friendships. Quite a few of them may also be in a
similar situation as us and hence will be able to
appreciate the importance and need to renew
the bonding. This is also a time to socialise more
and make new friends – after all, we now have
the time and maturity to look at situations and
people meaningfully. THIS IS
ALSO A TIME
Take up social service: We can work as TO SOCIALISE
volunteers in NGOs and other associations that MORE AND
work on issues that we support and which we
hold dear. Most organisations may have the MAKE NEW
funds but not enough hands to execute their FRIENDS.
social projects. Hence, our volunteering not only
helps us realise our potential and boosts our self-
value / morale but also helps the society at large.

Travel more: Travel to a new place, meet new

people, explore the country and cuisine, enjoy
the local music, imbibe their traditions and
culture -nothing broadens a person’s mind like
travel does. We now have all the time in the world
to plan a long trip to far-away places, possibly
those places like the Valley of Flowers which can
be visited only in a certain month but which we
never did thanks to being occupied with our
children’s school and their activities.

We MAY 2020
 We can plan that trek to the mountains to catch
the brilliant and soul-stirring sunrise; we can go on
a pilgrimage to all those temples that we wanted
to visit but had to shelve the plan as the kids did
not want to visit yet another temple town!

Read more: We have often complained that the

only time we get to read is when we use the
bathroom. But not so anymore. Our time is our A PET HELPS
own; we can now read a book undisturbed in the
comfort of our room (not bathroom!) We can US TO FIND
bring back to life the avid and voracious readers MEANING
that we once were prior to the birth of our WITH OUR
children. LIVES AND
Get a pet: Handling and taking care of a pet can HELPS US
do wonders to our morale and psyche. Over the STAY
years, we have been conditioned to take care of ROOTED.
our family and children. A pet dog or cat kindles
the caring nature in us and thus makes us feel
important.
The loyalty and affection showered on us,
especially by a dog, can be a very soothing and
satisfying influence. A pet helps us to find
meaning with our lives and helps us stay rooted.
The empty-nest syndrome has often been
misconstrued as a slightly scary phase of our life.
Let us learn to face this with an open mind. Let
us learn to embrace, respect and enjoy the new-
found freedom and time. As the age-old saying
goes, “An idle mind is a devil’s workshop.”
Let us learn to lead an active and healthy
lifestyle. This is the only way we can ward off all
health problems. The empty nest certainly turns
our life around; let us learn to welcome it with
open arms, learn to look at it as an opportunity Click here
to live life on our terms doing the things that we to read this
always wanted to do. We article online

We MAY 2020
 Teenache

I
QA &
am a 14-year-old girl who has just learnt about sex
from a friend of mine. I cannot say just how shocked
I was by this revelation. I think it is just too dirty and
gross to even think about it, In fact, I have decided I
will never have a boyfriend or get married!
But what bothers me is that nowadays I get dreams STOP
about sex! This makes me feel very guilty and FEELING
ashamed. Why is this ? Please help me stop such GUILTY AND
dreams.
Children who have been brought up in a strict,
ASHAMED OF
orthodox home where sex is not discussed, and is YOUR
considered “dirty” tend to get quite shocked and even DREAMS!!
repulsed by it. But it is a primal instinct and the closest JUST RELAX
intimacy between two partners.
Sexual feelings are dormant in every person,
AND ENJOY
especially during puberty when hormones are flush in LIFE. SURELY,
the system. A TIME WILL
You are consciously trying to keep off from sex, but COME WHEN
subconsciously, you are attracted to it, and this is
causing your explicit dreams, when your guard is
YOU WILL NOT
down, so to say. FIND SEX
Stop feeling guilty and ashamed of your dreams!! EITHER DIRTY
Just relax and enjoy life. Surely, a time will come OR WRONG.
when you will not find sex either dirty or wrong.
●

I am terribly worried. Please advise me quickly. I am

a 17-year-old girl who has a steady boyfriend
studying in a class higher than mine.
Some days back, when we were alone in his house.
This rarely happens because his mother or mine are
always there if we are in our home. He began to
fondle me, and soon we did some heavy petting

We MAY 2020
 although we stopped short of intercourse.
Now, I find my period this month is delayed. I am
terrified, I could be pregnant. Please help me fast.
To get pregnant, the semen should reach the female
egg in the uterus through intercourse without taking
precaution. If, as you say, you did not have
intercourse, it is highly unlikely that you are pregnant.
Sometimes, even a drop of semen which travels
inside the femaleʼs body, can impregnate her. If your
heavy petting could have done this, you could be
pregnant.
Get a pregnancy test kit from a chemist and check
YOU out for yourself. You can move forward from there.
SHOULD There are several reasons for a delayed period
fatigue, stress, lack of nutrition, etc, etc.
AVOID Still do not avoid the test, for it is best to think of the
SEXUAL options open to you.
RELATIONSHI You should avoid sexual relationships at this age.
PS AT THIS Your partner could be arrested for molesting a minor.
Even if you are above 18, take all precautions against
AGE. YOUR sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted
PARTNER pregnancy.
●
COULD BE
ARRESTED
FOR I am in a big dilemma. My father is a very busy
lawyer who is unable to spare much time to the
family – my mother and me. I am a 15-year-old girl.
MOLESTING Our neighbour is a good-looking man with whom my
A MINOR. mother has become friendly. He drops in often and
both of them chat and laugh a lot together. Of course,
my father knows him too and is quite okay with this.
But last week, when I returned from school early, I
found him in our home, and both of them looked very
flustered and guilty. I am very certain that the
suspicions I have had for some time are true. My
mother is having an affair with him.
My father is a good and trusting man. I hate to see
him being cheated. What should I do? Confront my
mother, or warn my father?
You should definitely not tell your father anything,

We MAY 2020
for in all probability, you have misconstrued a very
innocent situation. Just talk to your mother, and ask
her why he is coming over so often, and that it could
send tongues wagging in the neighbourhood. Even
this, you should do with tact and diplomacy, for you
have no right to interfere with your parentʼs social
relationships.
Now, your mother could show righteous anger or
listen to you with concern. Anyway, this should let her
know that you feel suspicious, and she should rectify
the situation.
●

W e are a strongly loyal group of 5 girls in class 11

of a very famous school in Delhi. The other 4
girls take some drug sometimes and sometimes
smoke pot. I am the odd one out, for I refuse to join in
as I firmly believe that it is unhealthy. AS A THUMB
They ask me to just try once, and see how I feel, RULE, DO
just out of curiosity. They also tell me that drugs are
not addictive and you can stop anytime. If I donʼt take NOT DO
it at least once, they say I would have lost an ANYTHING
experience, which is something of a growing up ritual. WHICH YOU
Shall I try it? My parents will be horrified! WISH TO
Your friends are absolutely wrong on many counts.
Firstly, drugs can quickly become an addiction to HIDE FROM
come out of which you will need treatment and YOUR
rehabilitation. It will mess up your life before you know PARENTS.
it. Also, to stop drugs is very difficult. You will need
professional help for this.
Yes, many take drugs to just find out what it is all
about. But why should you want to know this? You will
soon be coaxed into taking it again and again, and
you will perhaps succumb to peer pressure.
As a thumb rule, do not do anything which you wish
to hide from your parents. This will imply that you are
doing something taboo. It is heartening to see how
you have till now withstood peer pressure so well.
Hopefully, some of the girls will follow your example
out of admiration. We

We MAY 2020
W
hat do we say when someone
thanks us? It appears that we do not
know what exactly to say or do. Most
often we simply keep quiet or mumble
something giving an impression that we are
embarrassed. Isnʼt it a strange thing?

We MAY 2020
 Some people say “Itʼs Okay” or “Itʼs all
right”. This is not a very nice way of
responding to an expression of gratitude, is
it? Moreover it is not entirely clear what “Itʼs
Okay” really means because when someone
says “sorry” also, we use the same
response.
A few other people started using a different
phrase. “Donʼt mention it.” The meaning
seems to be simple. You are grateful. I
THINK OF understand. There is no need to mention it. I
GRABBING AN remember a joke. A child went to a birthday
party. Her mother told her to thank the
OPPORTUNITY TO hostess while taking a leave. When the child
THANK THE came back the mother asked her “Did you
PERSON OR TO thank aunty dear?” “No, mummy,” said the
ANY OTHER child. “Just as I was going to do it another
child thanked her and aunty said, “Donʼt
PERSON AND LOOK mention it.”
FOR SUCH AN Thereafter another type of response came
OPPORTUNITY. into vogue, “You are welcome.” I am not
JUST AS WE ARE quite sure what exactly it meant by this. I
asked a few friends and some of them said,
TAUGHT TO “You are welcome to expect more service
PRACTICE from me and I will be glad to be of help to
COURTESY WHILE you.” Or does it mean, “You are welcome to
DOING OUR express your gratitude”?
Some people say, “The pleasure is mine”
DUTY WE CAN or a much shorter “My pleasure”. This is a bit
LEARN FINE ART clearer. It says that you are thanking me for
OF ACCEPTING doing something for you but what I have
GRATITUDE. done has turned out to be a matter of
pleasure for me. I am the one who should
thank you.
A few others say, “Anytime”. Perhaps it
means the willingness to help again anytime.
Adopting a different formula
Whatever words we use to respond to
expressions of gratitude we do seem to be at

We MAY 2020
Thatʼs in bachelorsʼ parties.
By Parul Sanghi

T
he “last night of freedom” or the “last day of
bachelorhood”, referred to as the much-coveted
Bachelor Party by the male gender is yet another
Americanism that has been twisted and amalgamated into
the Indian society, much like the kadhai-paneer pizza and
mcAaloo-tikki burgers.
Bachelor party must have been known as a stag party in
Ireland, bull’s party in South Africa, buck’s party in Australia,
but the celebration in any case has always remained the
same! But during the import of this noble concept in India,
many of the aspects have been altered and some new ones
have been added accordingly, to cater to the needs of Indian
males!
It has become a common practice before marriage. Let’s
peek into the most secret ‘only male’ tagged bachelor’s party
where females are totally not allowed. This typical chronicle
is not just limited to the cans of chilled beers anymore but has
taken a toll of more of adventure and fun activities.
Just an idea to share, if you are an individual organising a
bachelor party for your one friend who is eagerly waiting for
his dooms day: make sure that you include loads of super fun
that comes under the specified budget. To make it

We MAY 2020
interesting, don’t you think a coloured theme or a fancy
dress gig similar to those of Halloween party would add on
to the level of masti? Now, you should call up and invite your
common friends, even married men would be okay. No
doubt they are more experienced!
An easy way to get started and bring in the energy levels,
guys prefers drinking first, a common task that has become
“just so common” among this generation. Boosting their
oomph after the minimum requirement of the drinks while
playing the latest item songs in the background, it would be
a much-created hype if you don’t hit the dance floor. And
you will discover all varieties of dance, even the desi dance LET’S PEEK
moves. Who knows? You might even get to watch some
super cool deadly self-choreographed masterpieces that are INTO THE
a combination of all the kinds of dancing genres like MOST SECRET
contemporary, hip-hop, belly dancing and even more. ‘ONLY MALE’
A bachelor’s party often indulges all kinds of boy’s talks, TAGGED
that are obviously only limited to them. They share among
themselves and try to keep it a secret, prefer not to take BACHELOR’S
any such air of their self-confessed party dramas back PARTY WHERE
home. And it would be better enough not to take any, FEMALES ARE
because there are people back at home who haven’t seen TOTALLY NOT
their other side yet. To make it entertaining, you can even
indulge your acquaintances with the Truth-and-Dare or ALLOWED.
Question-Answer games if played in the right humor. Make
the groom do things that will get him downright
embarrassed and go red in his face, it might just break the
ice and bring friends all the closer.There are other options
as well, where you can enroll yourself with some
sophisticated male games if your party is not just limited to
discotheques. Like the game of poker with some real money
for bets, it might be entertaining and fun drooling. But the
best one can be the adventure sports and you may also
pamper yourselves with some sporting and daring activities
such as river rafting, bungee jumping, camping in the woods
– but better watch yourself carefully, because you might
not just create another “hangover”! We Click here to
Love is the greatest adventure. read this
article online

We MAY 2020
Route to Shiny
Healthy Nails
What do they indicate? By Pushpa Bhatia

N
ails arenʼt just a great site for body art.
They offer a protective outer layer for
your fingers and toes and are even
indicators to any underlying health problems. If
you notice sudden changes in your nails it would
be wise to consult a doctor. Here is what to
watch out for:

Discoloration: Barring a few occasional white

spots, which nearly mean injury to the nail bed,
white or yellow spots on the nails are
characteristic of a condition known as Terryʼs
nails, which could be a warming sign for liver
disease, kidney failure or a heart condition.
Yellowing of the nails may indicate a fungal

We MAY 2020
infections, psoriasis or a thyroid-related disease,
white-green nails are often in people who work
in damp environments or have a loose nail- bed
nails going blue could be your bodyʼs reactions
to cold temperature or low oxygen levels in your
red blood cells and are sign of breathing
problems.
Discoloration is also caused by nail polish
which contains formaldehyde, a preservative
that has been identified as a human carcinogen
by the international agency for research on
cancer.
Smoking makes your nails discoloured and Tips for healthy, strong nails
they tend to look yellowish, white nails show that ✿ Keep your hands very
the person is anaemic. clean.
✿ Treat them gently.
✿ Trim your nails regularly.
Unusual texture: If you have ever noticed a ✿ Take proper care of your
thick curling overgrowth in your nails it could nail tools.
either be a side- effect of diseases such as ✿ Never forget to use a base
psoriasis or hystrix or lack of care. Low levels of coat while painting your
protein, zinc and iron cause vertical ridges. If nails.
you have low thyroid levels supplementary with Don’t cut the cuticles –
instead push back the
thyroxine would help consuming coriander juice cuticles once a week.
regularly (made from 100 gms of coriander ✿ Beware of toxic chemicals
leaves) and adding lime juice to all your (like dibutul phthalate,
vegetables and salads could help prevent an formaldehyde and toluene)
iron deficiency. Eggs, fish, most lentils and nuts while purchasing nail polish.
such as almonds, walnuts, sprouts will give you ✿ Don’t forget to apply a top
sufficient protein and zinc. coat as it seals the polish’s
colour and adds a much
While vertical nail ridges are mostly harmless needed gloss finish to your
horizontal ridges (known as beanʼs lines) could digits.
indicate injury to the nail, nutritional deficiency ✿ Give your nails a break.
infection or high fever. Watch out for rounded Going from one strong polish
nails, which could indicate intestinal disorders colour to another without
problems with the endocrine system or even giving your nails a break can
lung cancer. dry them out, turn them
yellow and over time even
weaken the structure of the
Lines: White lines across the width of the nail nail.
bed (known as Muehrckeʼs lines) are associated

We MAY 2020
with renal failure and sickle cell anaemia, lines
that grow out along with the nail are associated
with arsenic or thallium poisoning. Dark stripes
running down the nail can be an indication of
skin cancer.

Split/peeling nails: Onychoschisis is a

condition triggered by an iron deficiency,
characterised by finger nails seperating from the
nail bed and along with the ridging of the
nailplate, it is called brittle nail syndrome.
Beware of it because it can lead to injury,
infection or drug reactions.
A low dose of thyroid hormone under medical
supervision could be useful in correcting brittle
nails if they supper from hypothyroidism.

Dry nails: Nails tend to get dry when exposed

to water. So to lock in the natural moisture of the
nails, simply massage your nails with any good
quality oil every day. It prevents your nails from
getting dry and brittle. You can apply lukewarm
oil and leave it overnight. It softens the nails and
cuticles.
Practise good nail hygeine and keep finger
nails dry and clean. Avoid using chemicals on
your nails. Simply massage your nails with any
good quality oil every day.

Poor growth:
Sometimes we hear
complaints like “my nails
just donʼt grow” or “my
nails grow very slowly.”
Remember that nails
grow slowly in the cold
seasons and faster
when it gets warmer.
Nails grow about 0.6
to 1.3 millimetres in a week. Insufficient amount
of proteins or vitamin A can slow down the rate
of nail growth. Taking some allopathic
medications can also do the same.

Hangnails: Sometimes you have dried skin

tags at the sides of the nails called hangnails.
This happens because the skin around the nails
has dried out. It could be due to a vitamin C
deficiency or an undersupply of folic acid and
protein in your diet. You could supplement with
green leafy vegetables as they are rich in
potatoes.

Use protection: Remember to wear a pair of

mittens or gloves (rubber, vinyl or plastic gloves)
while cleaning dishes in hot, soapy water or
doing gardening.

Consider your diet: Add vitamins and

supplements like biotin, vitamin E and fish oil to
your daily regimen. One of the most common
items that has all these ingredients is yoghurt.
Also eat foods rich in protein like beans, fish and
nuts.

Always moisturise: Use a mix of almond and

avocado oils to keep cuticles and nails hydrated
before you go to sleep. If these oils are not
available then you can use any nutrient-rich oil.
In a pinch you can even use a dab of lip balm.
Remember your nails, hair and skin are
reflections of whatʼs inside you. You must listen
to it. We

Experience is simply the name Click here to

we give our mistakes. read this
article online

We MAY 2020
6 Tips To make him crave for you.
By Anupriya Khanna

T
here is no woman in this world who doesnʼt like
being pampered by her guy. While in the initial
stage of a relationship, every guy puts in his
best effort to make his girl feel special. After a couple
of months, the charm of the relationship starts to fade,
as he stops putting in the same efforts anymore. This
somehow becomes the reason for complications in a
relationship. You need not worry because you can
easily bring that charm back for that, you will have to
put in some extra efforts. And once you achieve that,
youʼll not only be able to see his old self but also see
him craving for you more.
Here are a few tips that can help you make your guy
crave for you.

CALL HIM WITH HIS NAME

You might not believe this, but guys simply love it
when they hear their name come across from their
partnerʼs lips. Especially when you two are planning to
get cosy in bed, make it a point to pull him close and
say his name right in his ear. This would definitely
work and probably be a huge turn-on for him.

UNFORESEEN TOUCHES
Thereʼs no guy in this world who doesnʼt like being
touched by his girl. But why do something that others
do. Go out of the box and touch him when he least
expects you to. He will not only feel surprised but also
crave for more. Give him signals by reaching his
pockets for keys, moving your fingers on his lips or
whispering softly in his ear.

We MAY 2020
MAKE HIM GUESS
At times it might get difficult for you to make him want YOU MIGHT NOT
you more. And the best thing to do to make him crave
for you is by acting in a secretive or mysterious manner
BELIEVE THIS, BUT
around him. Donʼt tell him about your likes, dislikes and GUYS SIMPLY
other important details and let him guess all of these on LOVE IT WHEN
his own. This would definitely make him mad and he THEY HEAR THEIR
would step up by making different guesses.
NAME COME
MAKE SOME CHANGES IN YOUR LIFESTYLE ACROSS FROM
If you want to grab your guyʼs attention and make THEIR PARTNER’S
him want you, make some changes in your lifestyle LIPS.
first. For example, start practising yoga at home to
lose that extra tummy fat and impress your guy with
your curvacious figure. You can also try to change the
way you look by getting a nice haircut or by wearing
different clothes. All these changes would definitely
work on your guy.

BOMBARD HIM WITH COMPLIMENTS

Itʼs a myth that only girls like compliments. Guys are
humans too. They too love it when someone
compliments them, especially when it is coming from
their special one. So, make it a point that you
compliment him enough. When you go out on a date,
tell him that he is looking nice and that black colour
really suits him. This will not only boost his self-
confidence but also make him feel that you notice him.

REVIVE THE GOOD OLD MEMORIES

Another way to make him crave for you is by taking
him down the memory lane. Remind him about all the
good moments that the two of you have spent
together. Take him to that place where you went out
on your first date. Re-do all that stuff which you used
to do with him during the initial stages of your
relationship. We
Click here to
When love is not madness it is not love.
read this article
online

We MAY 2020
Do you feel that being single is the worst thing that can happen in
your life?
Is it hard for you to spend time on your own?
Do you hate the very idea of not being in a relationship?
If yes, there is a great chance that you are a phobic. Here are a few
signs that can confirm it.

What is
Phobia?
You are phobia and you don't even know it.
By Anupriya Khanna

You are always in a relationship with no breaks in

between.
Nobody remembers the last time you were not in
a relationship. You are constantly seen breaking
up to get into another long-term relationship.
Though by doing this you might feel that you
are not alone and that you have someone
around you all the time. But this is definitely
heading nowhere. When you break up with
someone, there is always a reason behind it.
Give yourself some time to understand what
went wrong. Try to introspect and know
what type of person you want to be in a
relationship.

You don't think before choosing your

partner
Because you are afraid of being
single, you go on dating randomly.
One moment you are seen
MAY
breaking up with someone, another moment you are
seen getting in a new relationship with someone you
hardly know. You don't think twice before getting into
a relationship. You don't have any checklist of how
your mate should look like or what qualities he or she
should possess. When someone tries to explain that
your new love is not good for you and is cheating you,
you feel offended and rather believe that the other
person can't bear to see you happy.

You don't mind staying in toxic relationships

Even when your relationship is too toxic and is
adversely affecting you emotionally and physically,
you opt to go on with it. You give all your heart and
soul to make it work. You are too keen about the idea
of always being in a relationship that half of the times
you don't even realise that your partner is cheating on
you. No one should tolerate any sort of negative
comments, infidelity, dishonesty, emotional or sexual
abuse in a relationship.

You completely lose yourself in your relationship

You get too much into your relationship and the
person you are dating that you even lose yourself in
the process. You allow yourself to forget all your
goals. All of a sudden you are okay watching TV shows
and doing things you once hated the most. You don't
speak up about your likes and dislikes and go on
adopting your partner's likes and dislikes. Also, your
partner got into a relationship with you for who you
were and not the new twin version that you are
turning into.

You have tried almost every dating app

Just to feel secure, you always keep yourself equipped
with a good number of options. And for that, you have
tried almost every kind of dating and matrimonial app. Click here to
You spend hours swiping and having mindless chat read this
without ever meeting someone in real life. We
article online

We MAY 2020
 Your Body

I
QA &
am a 40 yrs. old working woman I suffers from
diarrhoea and vomiting for a long period but now I
have developed tremors, depression, confusion and
sometimes hallucinations. For this problem I consulted
a physician, after taking history and on the basis of
symptoms and investigations physician diagnosed me
as a case of magnesium deficiency. I want to know
about this problem in detail.
Disorders of magnesium metabolism are
occasionally responsible for otherwise puzzling clinical
features and are susceptible to therapeutic control.
The most frequent cause of magnesium deficiency is
prolonged diarrhoea or vomiting, which has been
treated with parenteral fluid without magnesium
supplements. It is associated with chronic diarrhoea
and severe under nutrition, such as occurs in protein-
energy malnutrition and the malabsorption syndrome.
Uncontrolled diabetes mellitus, aldosteronism,
hyperparathyroidism, the diuretic phase of acute renal
failure and chronic alcoholism lead to magnesium
deficiency from excessive urinary loss. It occasionally
follows on continued diuretic therapy. Clinical features
are predominantly neuromuscular with tremor,
choreiform movements and aimless plucking of the
bedclothes. Mental depression, confusion, agitation,
epileptiform convulsions and hallucinations also occur.
The diagnosis can be confirmed by finding the
concentration of magnesium in the plasma to be less
than 0.75 m mol/L. Magnesium deficiency is best
treated parenterally 50 m mol of magnesium chloride
may be added to 1 litre of 5 percent glucose or other
isotonic solution and given over a period of 12 to 24
hours. The infusion should be repeated daily until the

We MAY 2020
plasma concentration remains within the normal range.
●

M y mother is about 70 yrs old, since last two to

three years she is suffering from pain in the back,
sometimes generalised pain and sometimes a sharper
pain of sudden onset. Her body has bent forward. We
have consulted on orthopedic surgeon, he told us that
she is suffering from senile osteoporosis. I want your
opinion about the disease.
Senile osteoporosis is characterised by diffuse
osteoporosis of unknown cause. It affects the elderly,
especially women but it may be seen also in patients of
middle age. It may possibly have an endocrine basis.
The whole skeleton is affected but the changes in the
spine are more obvious than those elsewhere. There is
a reduction of total bone mass compressing fracture of
one or more of the vertebral bodies is liable to occur
from only trivial violence. Even without fracture the
thoracic vertebrae tend gradually to become wedge
shaped so that the spine bends forward to produce a
rounded kyphosis. The long bones are also prone to
fracture easily. The patient is often a woman of over
60. The osteoporosis may be symptomless and may
be found only by chance. In other cases there is pain in
the back. The pain occurs in two forms, a mild
generalised ache and a sharper pain of sudden onset,
denoting a compression fracture. Examination reveals
a rounded kyphosis in the thoracic region. The trunk is
shortened and there is a transverse furrow across the
abdomen. X-Ray shows the reduced density of the
vertebral bodies, which become concave at their upper
and lower surfaces from pressures of the intervertebral
discs. Metabolic balance studies may show a negative
calcium balance. Treatment is rather unsatisfactory. It
may be possible to restore the patient to positive
calcium balance by calciums supplements to the diet
but the gain is usually small and a dramatic
improvement in the readiographic appearance can not
be expected. In the belief that the disorder has an
endocrine basis oestrogen and androgen therapy has

We MAY 2020
been used but with doubtful benefit. If back pain is
troublesome a light spinal brace should be prescribed.
●

I am 25 yrs old woman and have five months

pregnancy. From the begining of pregnancy I am
suffering from watery vaginal discharge. I want your
opinion about this problem.
A watery vaginal discharge is uncommon, apart from
obvious causes such as urinary fistulae where the high
urea contents of the discharged fluid is diagnostic.
Discharges of this kind have been described in the
condition known as hydrops tubae profluens when a
hydrosalpinx has been supposed to discharge its
contents through the interstitial portion of the tube into
the cavity of uterus. In carcinoma of the fallopian tube
the discharge has been aptly described as amber
coloured. During pregnancy a watery discharge is
more frequent. In hydrorrhoea gravidarum the watery
discharge is probably due to leakage of the liquor
amnii through rupture of the membranes above the
level of the internal os.
●

I am a 50 years old lady, last year I developed small,

slightly elevated and blue black lesions on my
hands. I consulted a skim specialist. He told me that
you are suffering from blue nevi. Skin specialist told
me that if these lesions are growing or may feel any
change in the lesions than it has to be evaluated to
rule out cancer. What is you opinion.
Blue navi are small, slightly elevated and blue-
black lesions. They are common in persons of Asian
descent and an individual patient may have several
of them. If present without change for many years,
they may be considered benign (Non Cancerous),
since malignant (cancerous) blue nevi are rare.
However blue black papules and nodules that are
new or growing must be evaluated to rule out nodular Click here to
melanoma (Cancer). read this
– Dr Sanjay Teotia. article online

We MAY 2020
 To
Nurture Marriage
I
Things to do for f you have recently tied knots with your
your wife. soulmate, here is a list of things that you
By Anupriya Khanna should do for your wife in the first month of
your marriage:

INTRODUCE HER TO YOUR FAMILY

AND FRIENDS
Now that she has become an integral
part of your life, it is important for you to
introduce her to your closed ones and
those people who hold value in your
life. Though everything might be old
to you, but it is new for her. Make her
feel comfortable with your friends
and family. Give her an opportunity
to bond well with them so that you
two can have more fun in your
married life. Try to know and gel up
with her friends and family too.

GIVE MOST OF YOUR FREE TIME TO HER

When you are not married, you have an
option to spend your personal time as you
wish. But when you get married, you have
to give most of your free time to your
wife. And why not? Afterall, she left her
home and her people just to spend the
rest of her life with you. She deserves
all your free time.

We MAY 2020
 COOK FOR HER
Prepare a romantic breakfast, serve it to her in
bed and greet her with a peck on her cheeks.
Even if you are not good at cooking, you must
give it a try. Search for some easy-to-make
recipes and cook one for her. It will make her feel
loved and valued. Though it is difficult to cook
everyday, but you can try it once in a blue moon
or on days when she's unwell just to show her
that you care.

BUY HER CUTE PRESENTS

Who doesn't love getting presents? Especially
AFTER when it comes to girls, there is no better way of
MARRIAGE expressing your love to her than expressing it by
YOU HAVE showering her with cute gifts. Get a customized
TO DEAL gift with a loving message written on it or a
bouquet of red roses for her while going back
WITH A LOT home from office. Pamper her sweet tooth by
OF NEW gifting her one of her favourite desserts and
THINGS. chocolates.

BUNK OFF FROM WORK AND TAKE HER

OUT FOR A MOVIE
Yes, it is important to be particular about your
work and meet your deadlines on time. But you
shouldn't be too rigid about it. There are times
when you just can't concentrate and miss your
wife way too much while at work. This is when it
is okay to bunk off from work and go out for a
movie with your wife.

SPICE THINGS UP IN BED

EVERY NIGHT
This is the time she had been waiting for since
so long. She might not say it, but she will
definitely love it when you have mind-boggling
sex with her every night. Don't ever miss a

We MAY 2020
chance to impress her in bed. Try different ways
and positions to seduce her every day and quirk
up your married life.

PAMPER HER WHEN SHE IS

ON HER PERIOD
After marriage you have to deal with a lot of
new things. Handling her mood swings when she
is on her period is one of those new things. It is
that time of the month when her emotions are
out of control. She might get irritated and angry
on smallest of things. All you need to do on your
part is avoid any sort of argument during this
time and pamper her with tight hugs and kisses
instead. Also, don’t forget to stock your house
with all her favourite candies, chocolates and
snacks to do away with her midnight cravings.

TAKE HER TO MEET HER PARENTS

WHENEVER SHE MISSES THEM
It is tough for a girl to leave her birth home and
live with her husband’s family. In the initial days
of your marriage, your wife might miss her
parents a lot. And it is your responsibility to
comfort her and take her to meet her parents
whenever she misses them. We
Click here to
There is nothing more dreadful than read this article
imagination without taste. online

We MAY 2020
 Relationship
Advice
For ambitious and
courageous women!
By Gunit Mayo

W
e all have expectations from ourselves and
sometimes, we get so involved in fixing
our careers that we neglect other things in
our life. If you are ambitious, your mind takes a lot
of time to absorb the fact that there is someone out
there who needs your attention. Relationships are
good to go even when you gather all your focus to
your own self. Here are some tips that would bring
you to see one of the significant parts of your life –
i.e. your relationship.
Schedule everything: Yes, it is true that even
relationships need schedules. All aspiring women
love to plan things out, create to-do-lists and write
in their notepads. It is always better to let your
partner know that you are free for them for a few
hours and you would like to utilise the time at its
best. Plan Sunday brunch with your loved one, or
call them over for a delightful dinner next Friday.
Scheduling would help you to stick to whatever you
have planned. Never forget a thing, girls, start
scheduling now!

We MAY 2020
 Send them gifts: Even if you are too busy working,
it is okay. Men understand! They’ve got their hectic
jobs, too. Send them chocolates, or get a pizza
delivered at their door step. If men can work so hard
to impress us, then why can’t we? Let him know that
you think about him even while being at work. If
your day is hectic, this would definitely serve as a
break for you. Get creative, and do not be so pushy!
Do not regret: You are an aspiring woman and
there is nothing wrong with it. Do not let anyone
raze your motivation and energy, not even yourself.
If you want diamonds, it is okay to walk on some
stones to get one. Your man understands how
important things are to you, but if he fails to do so,
do not lose hope. Giving time to family or boyfriend
is important, and working hard for them is, too.
Work is not everything: If your man feels
neglected, reasure him about your interest in him
and how he makes you feel. Work is going to help
you but for what? Money? Fame? Your man is
someone who will be sitting there right next to you
when your business goes down, or you fail to pass
an interview. Money is important, but so are
relationships.
Do not compare: If you look at other couples and
wonder if you could be a housewife instead of a
hustler, stop immediately. We all have different
tales, behaviour, perspectives and nature. Do not
feel low by comparing your life to that of others.
There is always some positive side and negative side
to everything. A perfect relationship is not a
destination, it is a journey. How well you two
manage to make things better is what defines your
relationship. We

He who has health, has hope; and he Click here to

read this article
who has hope, has everything. online

We MAY 2020
 Now
Or Delays
are
dangerous.

By Rameshinder Sandhu
Never!

J
ust few weeks before New Year, finally there was a AS WE TRY
reply from one of the inflight magazine’s editor. I knew DRAGGING
it will be a positive response, considering my travel
essay set in their popular destination, besides being topical ALMOST
for the chosen month. EVERYTHIN
But as I hurriedly opened, it was unfortunately a note of G FOR THE
rejection. The reason was genuine: “Though we plans to TIME TO
carry your piece on New Year celebrations in Sydney but we
decided to drop it as there have been reports that the COME, WE
event won’t be held this year in the light of the recent fires FAIL TO
in New South Wales which caused a lot of damage besides VALUE THE
just pollution.” ONGOING
The moment I finished reading, I went thanking my
Canberra based friend Preetinder Sandhu who did not let TIME.
me postpone my trip to Australia to this December. Hence I
was in Sydney last December, where we admired being part
of that magical fireworks night on December 31 to welcome
2019. Had I postponed to this December as I wanted to, I
would have missed the world famous New Year
celebrations of Sydney. Ironically, I was delaying the trip
despite I was able to materialise the trip last December
itself. Minutes later, I thought it was not just me but most
of us, who have an eccentric habit of pushing most of our
plans for the future, forgetting what the famous poet and
saint – Kabir once rightly said from his experiences, “Jo kal
kar so aaj, jo aaj kar so aab” (what you want to do
tomorrow, do it today and what you want to do today, do it
now). As we try dragging almost everything for the time to
come, we fail to value the ongoing time. The time in our
hands, the circumstances that support it is like an
opportunity and most opportunities knock just once, which

We MAY 2020
is why we often meet people who keep denouncing for the
opportunities they missed. By the way, who knows about
the future and the kind of situations it will bring along?

NEVER PUT OFF TILL TOMORROW

This reminds me of an uncle of mine. Whenever he listens
to any of my travel experiences, he never forgets to echo
the same view of his: “I will also see the world, once I retire”
but I respond as always, asking him why not now, adding,
“Will your health favour you then as it favours now for BY THE
travel?” I know he is one of many those who forget to enjoy
the ongoing journey of life and most importantly valuing the WAY, WHO
fruitful concept of ‘now or never’! KNOWS
Sometimes, it is also our lackadaisical attitude that makes ABOUT THE
us throw certain tasks to the future: “not this week but next FUTURE
week” and when this goes on, it may give birth to
circumstances that may not stand with us. How can I ever AND THE
forget that day at Zurich Airport, when I had to fly to India KIND OF
after the completion of my degree? After all, I had SITUATION
postponed all my formalities for the last day and this got me S IT WILL
so late to the airport that I reached the airline check in desk
at the eleventh hour, with tons of stress planted in me. BRING
However, as the check in official suggested me to balance ALONG?
the excess weight by adding it in the handbag, I mistakenly
placed my passport in the bag I had to give for check in.
Ironically, I learnt about it when it was already sent to the
plane but thankfully it was brought to the boarding gate for
me. The airline officials raced me towards it and once having
grabbed it, I was taken back to the immigration desk for
departure stamp and I eventually entered the plane-red
faced. I realised, if I had not postponed my tasks to the last
day, I would have not encountered all this hassle.
That’s why a late 14th century adage in my oxford
dictionary of proverbs has this one, clearly on the lines of
Kabir: “Never put off till tomorrow, what you can do today.”
And considering my Zurich Airport experience, I can’t agree Click here
more with this late 16th century adage that reads, “Delays to read this
are dangerous”. article
How true! We online

We MAY 2020
Prevention of

Refrigeration
has come to
the aid.
By Sakina Maniar

T
he instant a plant is plucked, an animal
slayed or fish hoisted out of water, from
then on process of purification
commences. Although most food substances do
have their own potency to stay fresh for some
time, yet to augment their natural powers certain
methods can prevent spoilage.
Earlier to keep food safe for a longer period
spices were quite beneficial and to curb action of
microorganism, drying, smoking, salting and
fermentation was adopted. Today, we rely chiefly
on refrigeration, deep freezing, canning, ionizing
radiation and pasteurising to ensure healthy
eating.
Drying is perhaps the oldest form of curing
technique. In this loss of nutritive value as
compared to other methods is minimum,

We MAY 2020
depending on the manner of processing. Dry
fruits are generally sun-dried since large
quantities can be handled conveniently at little
cost. Besides ultraviolet rays have a sterilising
effect that slow down development of
microorganisms. Also, roughage in fruits such as
figs and prunes that aid digestion get intensified
on drying.
However, much time and effort is required in
sun-drying and when weather is wet or cloudy
then artificial methods like fans and blowers
have to be employed.
Along sea coast and in hot arid areas drying
conditions are quite favourable. Food is placed
on hot sand or buried under it, else is hung on
strings to dry. To keep birds, insects and
creatures away fires are lit which also speeds
the drying process. AS A PRESER-
Resinous woods like fir and pine leave a tar VATIVE, SALT
coat on the food that restricts bacterial growth
DRAWS OUT
and deterioration. Fish and meat exposed to
smoke acquire a delightful flavour and can be MOISTURE,
kept for long to be consumed later. RENDERING
It was Marco Polo while on his travels through FOOD LESS
Asia who found that Mongols dehydrated milk for
LIABLE TO
subsequent reconstitution and use. Explorers
and seafarers carried mainly dried edibles with DECOMPOSITION.
them as these were low in volume,
light in weight and maintained a longer shelf-life
than did fresh substances.
As a preservative, salt draws out moisture,
rendering food less liable to decomposition.
According to Ayurveda, salt brings out the
delicate taste of food and utilised in moderation
provides energy.
Earliest form of pickling was associated with
use of salt sprinkled liberally on sliced fruit and
vegetables and placed in huge jars. Salt enables
water to separate from food and the brine that

We MAY 2020
was formed checked bacterial formation.
In damp climates where dry salting is not
practical the best alternative is fermentation.
Some of the food which is fermented includes
rice, potatoes, corn, figs, grapes, pears and
plums.
Storage of food substances in humid weather
promotes growth of green mould on jam, a white
film on pickles, frothy yellowing mass of fungus
in sugary foodstuff, while mildew develops on
liquids and on vegetables. Hence, proper care
must be taken regarding exposure to air,
humidity and heat.
Food spoilage can be averted by incorporating
certain chemicals as preservatives. These are
helpful if used in small quantities since
everything that we eat is after all a chemical of THE TREND TODAY
one kind or another. Our bodies generally canʼt IS FOR FRESH
differentiate between artificial and natural ORGANIC FOOD
preservatives as they are identical being THAT IS GROWN
extracted and prepared in the same way from
natural products and also go through similar WITH EARTH-
safety screening. FRIENDLY
Chemicals as preservatives FERTILISERS AND
Sulphur dioxide on dried fruits gives them a SPRAYING OF
fine colour and keeps them free from microbes.
Sauces and fruit juices treated with benzoate of ENVIRONMENTALL
soda and sulphuric acid retain their fine quality Y SAFE
for a much longer time. Ascorbic acid – vitamin DISINFECTANTS TO
C – prevents oil and butter from turning rancid. CONTROL PESTS.
Sodium nitrate and potassium nitrate – saltpeter
used in curing meat ward off bacteria and also
amplify their flavour. To make savoury food more
appetising mono-sodium glutamate is added and
is a favourite ingredient in Chinese cuisine.
Additives are chiefly colours, flavours,
emulsifiers and thickners that aid in preserving
food. These are obtained from natural products
like beetroot, turmeric, cloves, garlic and

We MAY 2020
almonds. Since it is quite expensive to procure
additives from natural sources synthetics are
utilised. Peas when canned lose their green
texture and have to be replaced by artificial
colour to restore their appetising appearance. As
fruit flavour in concentrated drinks is negligible
synthetic is added to improve taste and aroma.
These additives are not only economical but
also safe for use as well as more efficient than
the natural ones.
In order to rapidly ripen fruits such as
mangoes traders tend to apply calcium carbide
powder on them which has adverse effect on the
health of customers and is banned by
government. However, ʻethephonʼ for artificially
ripening of vegetables and fruits is permitted. To
ensure that only those substances safe for
consumption are utilised within specified limits,
strict rules are observed.
The trend today is for fresh organic food that is
grown with earth-friendly fertilisers and spraying
of environmentally safe disinfectants to control
pests. Stored herbs like Neem are placed on
grains and pulses to repel insects and worms by
their antiseptic properties.
However, with advanced technology frozen
and dehydrated substances are effectively
safeguarded and rigid measures maintained to
protect them from contamination.
Manufacturers of canned and ready-to-cook-
and-eat packaged items enumerate distinctly
health-related nutrients and ingredients with
percentage of calorie count as well as the expiry
date on cover of every container to gain
customer confidence.
Processed foods are adequately screened and
tested before being marketed and the demand Click here to
for these handy and healthy nourishments has read this article
increased rapidly. We online

We MAY 2020
 Shoorryt
St
The Young
However, I could
not recall when
Bride
was the last time Her rosy gift. By Sunanda Satwah

I
I gifted mom a
t was a wet morning. As I made a dash for dry
rose – let alone a cover, I noticed a little girl selling roses. It was
bunch of them. I unusual for an urchin to be spotted so close to
had moved out of the international airport early in the morning. She
must have braved the weather to slip past the
my parental security guard unnoticed. For all her bravery,
home 10 years however, she now looked nervous. Not to mention
very cold and wet. On principle, I do not buy
ago, and come to merchandise from roadside hawkers and never
Mumbai to build from children – forced to eke out a living from
a career. selling small items.
But this morning, there was something about
that brave little girl that made me change
direction. I rushed to her. She raised the bunch of
red roses to me hopefully, “Beautiful flowers,
memsaab. Fifty rupees only for two dozen.
Very good price.” I knew I could bargain. I
also knew that the flowers were fresh and
at a florist they would cost me upward
of `300. Without dwelling too much on
the source of the flowers, I pulled
myself, and her, out of our wet
misery as I fished out a `50 note
and grabbed the bunch.
By the time I entered the airport
I was drenched. Fortunately, I was
carrying a change of clothes in my
overnighter. I was making a quick
stop at Chandigarh, where my
parents lived, before proceeding
 to Shimla the same evening for a business meeting.
The travel plan had come up so suddenly that I
hadn’t had the time to buy gifts for my parents.
As I settled deeper into my window seat, 34A, I
gently caressed the rose petals. I was loath to toss
them in the overhead bin. They looked so delicate.
I anticipated the look on my mother’s face when I
would present her the bunch. She loves roses. For
as long as
I can remember, she is the only one I have gifted
red roses to. I have, on occasion, gifted potted
plants and flower bouquets to friends, but they
would always be carnations, orchids, gerberas,
I CAN lilys, even pink roses, but never red roses.
However, I could not recall when was the last
REMEMBER, time I gifted mom a rose – let alone a bunch of
SHE IS THE them. I had moved out of my parental home 10
ONLY ONE I years ago, and come to Mumbai to build a career. I
HAVE GIFTED had definitely not gifted her flowers in the last 10
years. Perhaps it was time I started sending her
RED ROSES roses more often. I was lost in thought, savouring
TO. the moment the plane would touch down at
Chandigarh and I will meet my parents again. It had
been six months since I last saw them.

I realised that the lady next to me was fidgeting

in her seat. I glanced at her with mild irritation. I
confess I am not a good travel companion. I am
one of those people who, once they have boarded
the aeroplane, plug their ears with headphones
and take them off only when the plane lands.
Social niceties and irrelevant chit-chats are not my
forte. Any attempt at familiarity from strangers,
quite honestly, spooks me out, and I suspect my
response is more hostile than friendly. However,
this lady, in her early sixties, looked distinctly
uncomfortable. Her face was wrinkled with
concern and she had beads of sweat on her
forehead.

We MAY 2020
 “Are you all right?” I asked with concern, for the
aircraft was nippy.
“Yes dear,” she smiled.
“You don’t look all right to me,” I said almost
accusingly, as if daring her to lie again.

S he laughed nervously, “I guess I am having one

of those moments. It’s nothing, dear. Really! It
will pass in a few minutes.”
I didn’t believe her.
I asked the air hostess to give a glass of cool water
to her and watched the old lady closely as she
sipped the water slowly. SHE NODDED
Once she had dutifully finished the contents of AND SMILED
the paper cup, she looked at me and smiled, “You AT THAT, “I
know, you are a little scary.”
For a moment, I was taken aback and then we
KNOW WHAT
both burst into laughter. YOU MEAN.
“I know,” I confessed. YOU REMIND
“I have often been accused of being too...” ME OF MY
“Concerned?” she offered kindly.
“Overwhelming,” I said with a self-deprecating
HUSBAND.”
smile.
She nodded and smiled at that, “I know what
you mean. You remind me of my husband.”
I wasn’t sure how to take that comment. I
couldn’t tell if she was trying to compliment me or
insult me, so I kept silent. She continued, “He was
a huge army man, who always did things his own
way. I honestly don’t think it ever occurred to him
to ask other people for their opinions. Once he
took upon himself to care for you, what you
wanted did not matter. I am not saying that it’s a
bad trait but, well, it can get irritating at times. At
any rate he did do a much better job of loving and
caring than most, I guess.”
I listened to her in respectful silence. She had
used the past tense while referring to her loving
husband. It wasn’t my place to interrupt.

We MAY 2020
 “Oh, I am so sorry, for going on and on about my
husband,” she suddenly said, self-consciously.
“I don’t mind,” I replied sagely. “I don’t have to
be anywhere else right now. No plane to catch.”
That made her smile. We were after all 35,000 ft
above ground. I realised that I liked her. She had an
easy, likeable aura about her.
“I... I miss my husband,” she confided.
“HE WAS SO “I know.”
LOVING AND “He was so loving and kind. Pardon me the
cliche, but he could brighten up a room just by
KIND. PARDON entering it. And he was so full of life and laughter.
ME THE The life of every party. Had he been alive,
CLICHE, BUT tomorrow we would be celebrating our 40th
HE COULD wedding anniversary. Well, I am glad that we at
least had each other for 39 lovely years. Life has
BRIGHTEN UP treated me well and I have little to complain about.
A ROOM JUST My son didn’t want me to spend the day alone,
BY ENTERING with morbid thoughts for company, so he booked
IT. me on this morning’s flight. He thinks the change
of scenery will do me good. His company
transferred him to this city a month ago.”
“Chandigarh is beautiful,” I offered.
“Yes. Yes it is. I had first visited this city as a
young bride and I am now returning to it after so
many years, alone. I... I can’t help but feel a little
sad and lost.”
She sniffed. “You must think me silly.
This stupid old cow, feeling lost.”

I smiled at her with reassurance.

Words seemed inadequate.
“And then,” she continued.
“When I saw these lovely red
roses in your hand, my world
suddenly seemed to crumble
all around me. I hadn’t
realised until the moment I
saw that beautiful bunch of

We MAY 2020
flowers, how much I am missing my husband.
“I thought, I was strong. I thought, I was holding
myself well. I am grateful for all that I have. And I
don’t want to be ungrateful now, but I so miss my
husband. Every anniversary morning he would
greet me with a similar bunch of red roses, long-
stemmed and hand-picked from the garden. He
had green fingers and loved gardening. The man
poured love into everything he did. He had so
much love in him. And he gave it freely.”
She was sobbing softly into her pashmina shawl. “OH, NO! NO, I...
The pilot asked all passengers to secure their
seat belts and prepare for landing. We sat in
I CAN’T TAKE
silence, the lady and I, each lost in our own THEM. I AM
thoughts. SURE YOU HAVE
As the plane taxied to a halt, she turned to me BOUGHT THEM
and smiled apologetically, “I am sorry for being
such a wuss. You are a lovely girl. Thank you for
FOR SOMEONE
listening. I think I feel better. Lighter.” SPECIAL, OR
I still didn’t know what to say, however, as she THEY HAVE
gathered her purse and turned to leave, it was BEEN GIVEN TO
suddenly clear to me what I needed to do.
“Aunty?”
YOU BY
“Yes, dear?” SOMEONE
“I would like you to have these,” I said, as I SPECIAL.
extended the bunch of red roses towards her.
“Oh, no! No, I... I can’t take them. I am sure you
have bought them for someone special, or they
have been given to you by someone special. How
inconsiderate of me to not even ask you how you
came by them.”
“Now, that you mention it, I think I was meant it
was them for you. Please do accept them. I am
sure your husband would have loved you to have
these.” I made a mental note to buy another bunch
for my mother later in the day.
Her hand hesitated for a moment, lingering over
the stems and then she took them gratefully. As
her gaze met mine, we were both smiling with

We MAY 2020
tears in our eyes.
“Thank you, child. Your kind gesture means a lot
to me. More than you will ever know.”
I think I did, because it was so uncharacteristic of
me to buy flowers from a roadside urchin on a rain-
soaked morning. In that moment, I knew without a
doubt, that these roses were meant only for her, and
no one else. I had merely been a medium – a delivery
person of sorts. Someone up there must have really
wanted to send red roses to this woman.

M y parents were waiting for me in the airport

waiting lounge. I noticed my travel
companion search the crowd for a familiar face. As
she spotted a gentleman, presumably her son, her
face lit up; and in that moment, if truth be told –
she was a sight to behold. Dressed in a white suit,
with the delicate pashmina draped around her
shoulders, her pure white hair tied in a neat
chignon, she looked angelic. The dappled morning
light seemed to have erased her wrinkles and her
face looked like smooth porcelain. Was it a visual
illusion, a play of light, or did the roses actually
seem brighter and redder? Words crept to mind,
unbidden, ‘A young bride.’
I shook my head in self-derision. Imagine getting
fanciful. I must need that coffee more than I
realised.
After the joyful exchange of hugs and greetings
were over, as I and my parents were leaving – my
mother caught sight of the lady in white, holding a
bunch of red roses and surrounded by a small army
of loving friends, family and grandchildren.
“Lovely flowers,” she said as we walked out of
the airport, hand in hand. We

Clouds come floating into my life, no longer Click here to

to carry rain or usher storm, but to add read this article
color to my sunset sky. online

We MAY 2020
 My Family, My Friends and Me...

QA &

F
rom the time I was old enough to think, I
knew two things. One was that we were very rich
and the second was that my parents didn’t get
along. Though I was just a child, I understood that they
quarrelled all the time and that it was best to keep away
from them when they were shouting at each other. I did
that and would sit and listen to their screams and
shouts. It wasn’t surprising that in these circumstances,
I grew up to be an introvert and kept mostly to myself.
Again, it wasn’t surprising that both my parents found
AGAIN, IT
solace in other people and when I was 15 years old, they WASNʼT
decided to split up. The question of who would take me SURPRISING
was a difficult one for both of them – because neither of THAT BOTH MY
them wanted me. Finally, my mother had to take me
because my father was remarrying right away and the
PARENTS
woman he was marrying already had two daughters. FOUND SOLACE
I spent a year with my mother – a year about which I IN OTHER
only remember the silence that surrounded the house. PEOPLE AND
After that my mother too remarried and my father –
whom I hadn’t seen during that year – had to agree to
WHEN I WAS 15
take me. “But it’s only till she is 18!” my father said YEARS OLD,
sternly. And my mother replied that it was only till then. THEY DECIDED
“After that she’ll be on her own!” she told my father. TO SPLIT UP.
Now I am living with my father in a home with his new
wife and her two twin daughters who are 11. My father
THE QUESTION
is as distant as he has always been with me, but he is a OF WHO
doting husband with his new wife and a loving dad for WOULD TAKE
his step-children. And the woman he has married, his ME
new wife, is everything a wife and mother is supposed
to be – warm, loving, good-humoured and all-accepting.
And miraculously, without making a fuss, she has
accepted me as her eldest daughter – and at her
prodding, her daughters have accepted me as their

We MAY 2020
 elder sister.
For the first time in my life, I now know what a home
is. My father too is a new man – laughing, talking and
always in a good mood with his new family, though not
with me. I am doing better at my studies now, but I am
also growing very bitter. What did I do to deserve the
kind of life I have had? Do I not deserve to be loved?
And what will happen to me when I turn 18?
You have really had a very sad life and this appears to
totally be the fault of your parents. Many couples are
very unhappy in their marriages, but they invariably love
their children. Many married couples break up, but they
still try to provide well for their children.
In your case however, your parents appear to be
totally self-involved, abnormal people who do not have
BUT IT IS any feelings for the child who is their flesh and blood
YOUR and whom they brought into this world.
You are lucky that your stepmother is a good woman
TREATMENT who gives you love. But this is not enough for you to
THAT WILL HELP grow up without any complexes and fears. You need to
YOU FACE THE come to terms with the loveless existence you have had
WORLD WITH almost all your life and, for this, you need to go to a
psychiatrist who will help you come to terms with your
CONFIDENCE. past.
As part of the process of doing this, you should also
confront your parents and tell them how they hurt you
and are responsible for the fact that at this young age,
you need psychiatric treatment. Let your step-mother
be there when you talk to your father.
Tell your parents that you will not agree to leave your
home as soon as you are 18 years old. Say that you have
all the rights that your step-sisters and step-mother now
have. Tell your father that you will expose him and your
mother for the kind of people they are, if they do not
give you all that they are giving your step-sisters. Shame
them for they deserve to be shamed.
But it is your treatment that will help you face the
world with confidence. And all your problems will
disappear when you marry a man who loves you.

We MAY 2020
I
am a 27-year-old working woman. I am the only child
of my parents and I am not married even though all
my friends who are my age are now married and a
few even have children. But my parents do not seem
interested in getting me married. In fact they talk as it I
will never get married and as if I will always be with
them, providing for them and looking after them. They
have told me from the time that I was a child, that I am
not their daughter but their son. But I do not want to be
their son! I want to be their daughter and to get married
and have a family of my own!
Why don’t they understand this? Isn’t this how
women usually live? YOUR PARENTS
Your parents seem to be afraid of their own old age SEEM TO BE
and that is why they seem to be determined to make AFRAID OF THEIR
you the son that you are not. You should feel sorry for
them and not get upset with them – but you should of
OWN OLD AGE
course also have the life that you want. AND THAT IS WHY
What you have to do is to make it clear to your THEY SEEM TO BE
parents that you want to get married and have a home DETERMINED TO
and family of your own. You may find it embarrassing to
tell them this, but this is what you must do. But at the
MAKE YOU THE
same time assure then that you will never leave them in SON THAT YOU
the lurch. ARE NOT.
And do not sit and wait for them to arrange your
marriage – find a man for yourself! If you do not meet
anyone, there are many marriage sites on which couples
can meet. But be careful to check out people you meet
on such sites carefully. You can take the help of your
parents for this. And tell the man you marry about your
duty towards your parents.

This column will tackle queries related to family, social

environment and personality development. Please address Click here to
your queries to:
read this
WOMAN’S ERA E-3, Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110 055.
or log on to Womansera.com
article online

We MAY 2020
 KNOW YOUR
TITS AND
NIPPLES
What makes them what they are.
By Shree Prakash

I
t is normal for girls to experience
boobs growing while around nine or 10
years old. You may be first in your
family or even in your class to feel it. You
might have some curiosity or even worry
to know more about it. Just sit relaxed,
here are some points of your interest.

AGE OF GROWTH
They start around nine-10 years
THERE IS A onwards up to 15 years or so but in
MISCONCEPTI some cases keep growing in the 20s also.
ON THAT ALL The exact time of growth may vary depending on
LUMPS ARE many factors including genetic and ethnic
CANCEROUS. background. Your boobs are made mostly of fat
MOST GIRLS tissues.
MAY HAVE IT
DUE TO SHAPE AND SIZE OF BOOBS
HORMONE Like every individual’s face is not exactly identical,
CHANGES OR the shape and size of your boobs may be different
CHANGE IN from others’ – even your own sister’s. Even the
BREAST two boobs may be of different sizes
specially when you are having puberty.
TISSUES.
Some may have small boobs. Not a
concern, embrace what you have.

We MAY 2020
 LUMPY BOOBS
You might notice a lump (or
lumps) on your breast. There is a
misconception that all lumps are
cancerous. Most girls may have it
due to hormone changes or change in
breast tissues. Besides, some may have fluid filled
sacs called cysts. They normally appear and
disappear. But if it persists and hurts or makes skin
pucker you must see a doctor.

DON’T PANIC
SORENESS IN BOOBS IF YOU NOTICE
Hormonal fluctuations during periods might cause A FEW HAIRS
soreness in boobs. Soreness may be due to rubbing AROUND
with clothes particularly during your sports.You YOUR NIPPLES.
may feel uneasy. Try a cold
MOST OF YOU
compress. If soreness does not
vanish or persists after periods or HAVE THOSE
you have pains, you must consult VERY TINY
a doctor. HAIRS AROUND
AREOLAE.

ABOUT YOUR NIPPLES

DARK NIPPLES
Never worry if your nipples are dark. There is a ring
of colour around your nipples called the areola.
Some may have skin- coloured nipples
and some may have dark nipples.
Some may be smooth, others may
be wrinkly or smooth or normal.
There are four types of nipples.

We MAY 2020
 HAIRY NIPPLES
Don’t panic if you notice a few
hairs around your nipples. Most of
you have those very tiny hairs
FLAT around areolae. If you are so particular about it you
NIPPLES may get away with proper tweezing. But if you have
Your nipples too many hairs around nipples, it may be due to a
do not hormonal imbalance and you need to see a doctor.
protrude at
all.
SOME COMMON MISCONCEPTIONS
Birth control affects boobs: Some feel birth control
measures increase the size of boobs. This is false.
There is practically no connection between them.
Hard nipples: Nipples are full packed nerves endings.
Sometimes they might be harder due to climate
NORMAL changes, touch or when aroused. Even if you do not
NIPPLES ever have hard nipples, do not worry.
Your nipples Sensitivity concern: Some might have doubts that
just project sensitivity depends on the size of boobs. Not at all,
outwards by there is no relation between their size and sensitivity.
a few Self examination: Do boobs need regular self
millimetres. examination ? It is not necessary to have regular self-
examination. But it is always better to be conscious
and careful about it particularly in case of any
abnormal change – viz persistent lump, pain,
discharge, inward sinking of nipples etc.
Breast augmentation: Do you need breast
augmentation ? Any breast augmentation or reduction
or lift must be done only after proper medical advice
PUFFY and not just as a cosmetic procedure.
NIPPLES Boob piercing: Better say no to it. It may cause
Your nipples infection and/or nerve damage. We

are flat but

areolae are Click here to
raised. read this article
online

We MAY 2020
7 Ways to be
LOVED
MORE!
Make him realise your assets.
By Prachi Srivastava

A
successful relationship includes two
people committed to falling in love over
and over again, every distinct phase of
the journey. A successful relationship is not the
one that works flawlessly but the one that is
nurtured every day and develops energetically. It
is executed with aptness every day, but there
are times in a relationship when you go through
the flash of uncertainty. You feel as if your guy

We MAY 2020
 does not really care as much as he did in the
beginning of your relationship. You are not
alone. Many women feel this way and to a
certain extent, it can be an awful feeling. It is
perhaps time to undress your feelings for your
love and to put a little effort into the relationship.
It happens in every relationship that the love
goes down for some time, but with these few
ways you can make your man love you more

1
every day.

TAKE HIM FOR WHO HE IS

As women, we always want our man to love and
appreciate us for precisely who we are even with our
imperfections. Similarly, men also want to be loved and
appreciated for exactly who they are. We can demand ups
and downs, but they will only truly change if they want to
make a change. Men like the way a woman inspires her
man to become an enhanced version of himself without
making him feel that he needs to change. A man really
accepts a woman when he feels that she unaffectedly
agrees to take him for who he is.

2
HELP HIM ACHIEVE HIS GOALS
Guys have a huge sense of self, but they are
exceptionally fragile too. They act manly, but at times, they
tend to create chaos in their own lives. Encourage him and
help him accomplish his goals by talking about his dreams
and visions. Show more perseverance and, while you must
always demand that you are respected and cherished in a
relationship, you have to be prepared to offer the same love
and respect to your man as well.

We MAY 2020
 3
DON’T EXTEND ANY ARGUMENT
Successful relationships involve a certain amount of
compassion and thoughtfulness. Let things go. Try to
resolve your differences as soon as possible. Instead of
pointing out his faults every time, help him overcome them.

4
Fights and arguments can leave both of you feeling
offended and unhappy.

DON’T ALWAYS MAKE IT ABOUT YOURSELF

We expect our men to look after our every single
requirement. Yes, your man should protect you, keep you
safe, make you a priority, and take care of you but accept
the fact, he is not obligated to look after you; he can only
choose to. A man frequently looks for a woman that can
help him unwind all the pressures which he gets from the
day-to-day grind. Make an effort to pay attention to his
problems and offer guidance or support where you can. A
relationship is a two-way street. He will love you further if
you are the one he knows, he can come back to and show
his vulnerable side. You wont be able to resolve all, but that
smallest amount of effort will mean a lot to him.

APPRECIATE HIS INTERESTS AND HOBBIES

You should never make him feel uncomfortable for not
loving the same things you like. Just because he does not
want to take part in your hobbies and interests does not

5
mean he lacks love and respect for you. Men commonly
have something that they have a passion for. Never ask the
man give up that or make him feel uncomfortable for it so he
devotes more time with you. Accept the fact that both of you
are not going to continuously relish doing similar things.
Rather than nagging, appreciate the point that he has
sidelines and interests. Try giving a shot to indulge in his
choice of activities, and you will most likely start sharing his
interests and hobbies.

We MAY 2020
LET HIM KNOW YOU TRUST HIM

6
Have confidence in your man and let him know you trust
him. When a man sees his woman trusts him, he gets more
committed to her and takes more effort to keep her happy.
Guys hate feeling insecure. Avoid making your guy feel
insecure and he will love you more. You have to provide him
space, give yourself space, and take a new outlook. Mutual
respect, understanding, space and patience play a key role
to ensure harmony and coordination in the relationship.

7 DONT EXPECT HIM TO IGNORE OTHER WOMEN

It is a natural tendency to appreciate other attractive
individuals. It is tough to ignore when we see a really good-
looking guy. Similarly, do not expect him to close his eyes or
take no notice of another beautiful woman. Try to
comprehend that this is common and take it as coolly as
you can. Do your best to not overreact. If you are too
insecure with him, the harder he will try to get away and not
want to be around you. Space and trust are two main
important factors in a relationship.
Being in a relationship is hard work. It can be grueling and
exasperating sometimes. Keep these things in mind to
constantly keep stability and happiness in your relationship.
Always remember, your man loves you and doing these few
things will make him fall more in love with you each day. We

Love yourself. It is important to stay positive

because beauty comes from the inside out.

Click here to
read this article
online

We MAY 2020
 Kitchen queries

QA &

T his is the season for enjoying rich sweets like

laddoos. Please tell us how we can make
besan and aata (wheatflour) laddoos at home?
Now that the festive and winter season is here,
making laddoos is a good choice. Because they
are not difficult to make and moreover they
remain fresh for a long time. You will get the best
results if you are patient while making them. Use
NOW THAT
a little coarse besan or aata. For both the type of THE FESTIVE
laddoos you will need about 450 grams of desi AND WINTER
ghee for 1 kilogram of besan or aata and about SEASON IS
700 grams of powdered sugar. For besan laddoos
you will also need finely cut almonds and
HERE, MAKING
cardamom powder. In aata laddoos you can mix LADDOOS IS A
in finely cut almonds, coconut powder, raisins and GOOD CHOICE.
fried gound. To fry the besan for the laddoos, mix
half of the ghee with the besan in a heavy-
bottomed karahi and fry on low flame till rich
golden brown. Mix in the sugar together with the
almonds and cardamom powder. Add as much
ghee as required to make the mixture into
smooth round laddoos. The procedure is same for
the aata laddoos.
●

P lease give us a few buying and storing

tips for lemon.
This is a good question as lemons are available
in abundance in this season. You can use them in
a number of ways, but you have to keep in mind
that you select and buy the best. While buying
lemon, choose brightly coloured, firm and heavy

We MAY 2020
 ones. Avoid shrivelled, soft or blemished lemons.
Whole lemons will keep up to ten days in a plastic
bag in the refrigerator at least. You can also
freeze lemon juice in small amounts and use as
and when required. The lemon juice can also be
preserved as lemon squash (lemon juice mixed
with thick sugar syrup) at room temperature.
●

T here are many theories going around about

when and when not to eat fruits. Please
clarify.
We all love to eat fruits, and they in turn are
FRUITS very beneficial for our health. But we should keep
SHOULD a few points in mind, so that we get the maximum
ALWAYS BE benefit out of them. Fruits should always be
EATEN AS A eaten as a mid-meal, and not with or immediately
after a main meal.
MID-MEAL, AND This is because if fruits are eaten with cooked
NOT WITH OR foods, they do not get digested easily and tend to
IMMEDIATELY ferment in the stomach. So, eat a normal cooked
AFTER A MAIN meal 1/2 an hour after eating fruits and fruits 21/2
hours after a cooked meal.
MEAL. ●

W e usually use plastic strainers to strain tea,

but it gets choked with tea particles,
especially around the rim. Please tell us how we
can clean it.
The tea strainer we use, be it made of steel or
plastic, does get clogged with tea particles if not
cleaned properly every time it is used. It doesn’t
get cleaned even in the dish washer. Try putting
dishwasher detergent and the strainer into a
small cup, then add boiling water and let it sit
overnight. The residue will come off easily with a
tooth brush.
If too much deposit has accumulated, make
sure it is dry. Then use a small brass brush to
brush off the gum. You can also simply use an old
tooth brush to clean it, but remember not to

We MAY 2020
clean it too vigorously or the plastic strainer will
break.
●

H ow can we prevent red pumpkin from rotting

when kept on the kitchen counter and not in
the refrigerator?
Though you should always store fresh
vegetables in the refrigerator, if you have to keep
the pumpkin outside, keep a few points in mind.
Firstly, do not remove the flesh with the seeds,
until you are ready to use it. Secondly, do not
store it in a plastic bag. Just keep it covered with
a thin cloth in a cool place.
●

W hat is ‘China Grass’, why is it so called and

how is it prepared?
‘China Grass’, as such has no resemblance to
grass and it is available in grocery stores and not
in a vegetable shop. It is not green in colour as
you would imagine, but is transparent or whitish
and comes in pieces about the thickness of a
straw. China grass is a derivative of a seaweed
gathered on the East Indian coast and generally
exported to China and that’s probably why it got
this name.
China grass is derived from a seaweed from the
algae family called Agar Agar. The seaweed is
collected and spread out on the shore. After it
dries, it is boiled in water and the mucilaginous
solution strained, the filtrate dried and hardened
in the sun.
agar is an excellent and very effective natural
gelling agent and thickener. It contains a
powerful gelatinising agent called Glose which is
a carbohydrate. Unlike gelatin, Agar Agar does
not require refrigeration to set, it will simply gel
any liquid food into solid form at room Click here to
temperature. read this article
– Savita Bhargava. online

We MAY 2020
Signs that the
Girl Loves You
Wink, wink! By Shree Prakash

G
irls too love boys but they may not express
it like boys do or they might not accept it
openly. But there are some behaviours of
girls that may be signal of her love for you.

Read her eye-language: Many a times eyes can

communicate better than verbal communications.
Eyes are said to be mirrors of the soul. This is
usually easy to read, but sometimes you may

We MAY 2020
 happen to misread it. The girl's pupils will dilate
when she is looking at you. So look and gaze into
her eyes and you will feel it.

Likes to be close to you: If she finds you present

on any occasion or event, she may find an
opportunity to be near you. Then she will touch
your body gently while talking or laughing as if it
happened accidentally.

Body language: Body language is also a good

YOU ARE IN mean of communication. In any social meeting or
HER MIND OR event, she may like to face you most of the time.
Feet, torso or body in general pointing at you is a
DREAMS, SO signal she likes you.
SHE WILL TALK
ABOUT YOU. She will talk about you: Even when you are not
present there, she will talk about you with her
friends. You are in her mind or dreams, so she will
talk about you.

Laughing at your ordinary jokes: Even if your

jokes are not great, yet she is enjoying them,
laughing and praising them, it is an indication she
likes you.

Will ask to teach: She might be your schoolmate,

may be a classmate or a year junior to you. She will
like to ask you to teach her. This may be an excuse
to be in your proximity.

Tries to contact you: She will find excuses to

frequently connect with you on the phone, emails
or social media. There may not be any reason or
purpose behind contacting you, still she enjoys it.

Sometimes gives personal Information: Even if

not necessary she might give you more personal

We MAY 2020
information particularly about her whereabouts on
a day or at some particular time. It means she
expects you to be present there. This is another
way to get closer to you.

Follows you: Sometimes she might follow you

when going to college or office or club. She will
park her scooty or bicycle near your bike or car.
She will like all or most of your posts and photos
on social media.

Takes your side: Even if you are not fair enough,

she will stand by your side unexpectedly.

Introduces you: She will introduce you to her

friends and close relatives.

Talks louder with y0u: Instead of her natural

tone, she may talk with you louder as compared to
talking with others.

She remains seated with you: In any party or get

together, her other friends might be enjoying
themselves somewhere else like the bar or dancing
on the floor but she prefers to remain with you.

Some conflicting signals: There are some signals

which might indicate her liking for you, though
they might be otherwise also – such as touching
hair quite often or doing her lipstick or she might
try halfheartedly to avoid you due to shyness or
nervousness. We

Let us live together in the Click here

to read this
name of love than war! article online

We MAY 2020