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Lele Chen
1880110

My Response to a Moral Dilemma

Like everyone else, I am faced with a moral dilemma in my daily life, a life that

consists of making choices, decisions, and actions daily. One of the specific moral dilemmas

which I have faced often is, should a person help herself first or should she help others first

by putting one's self-interest behind others? My grandmother, who brought me up, always

told me that it is important to be a good human being who is ethically and morally correct in

her dealings with others which means helps others even if it means putting them first.

Although I agree with my grandmother's thinking, I still think that it is better to finish our

own priorities and interests first, and then we can take care of other people’s interests. In this

paper, I am going to argue that we must put our own self-interest first and learn to say “no” to

the demands of others, and when we help others, they should not mistake our act of kindness

for weakness.

Learning to say “no” when necessary is an important skill of leadership. After coming

to Canada, the first lesson I learned is the importance of service and volunteerism in society.

In no time, I started to meet some friends and because of them, I joined some organizations

such as a Chinese cultural organization, Vancouver food banks, a church, and a local

volunteer organization. Suddenly, my life became so busy. Besides community service, I had

part-time jobs as well. Therefore, I worked in the day time and I did my assignments in the

night until early in the morning. One day, I realized that I could not handle all these

extracurricular activities because my proficiency in English caused me to spend more of my

time on my school work than other students. I told about my difficult situation to some

organization leaders, they still kept asking me to join some events. I hardly said “no” and I

could not refuse their invitations. Unfortunately, the bad news came when one of my summer

professors asked me to drop her class because I did not do her assignments well. I was
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shocked because I knew how the seriousness of the issue. I spent two or three days on self-

reflection to think about how could I solve the problem. One thing I became sure is no matter

how much I contribute to society, if I could not pass the class, I would not get my degree

which is the most significant thing for me. Hence, I started to learn how to say “no” when I

need to. From that time, I have reduced my time for volunteering. Meanwhile, I have cut all

my unnecessary socializing down and put more time and effort into my study. I do believe

that if I want to become an enlightened and independent person with a correct moral value, I

could help more myself now and other people in the future. Therefore, a person needs to put

and help themselves first rather than others.

Setting up a boundary is the key to maintaining business and personal relationships. I

went to Japan with fourteen Chinese friends and we worked jointly in an electronic factory as

a quality inspector for three years before I came to study abroad in Canada. At that time, my

Japanese language skill was the best in this group. I followed my moral compass which is

helping others to promote their happiness. Therefore, I often helped my coworkers to

translate between Chinese and Japanese when they needed help. I never thought about asking

anything in return. As an old maxim of Socrates goes, “virtue is its own reward.”(Ruggiero,

2020, p.334).Someday, my work was extremely busy setting up. A few Chinese friends who

went to Japan with me together came to me and asked me to help them discuss their working

shifts with the manager. I politely asked them to let me accomplish my work first, and then I

offered to go with them because some other coworkers were waiting for my products to go

through the next steps. At that moment, I felt a little nervous to refuse to help them because I

was worried about losing their friendship. I felt sorry that I could not help them.

Unexpectedly, they got upset and told me that they could deal with the issue without my help,

and they left angrily. I was silent because I did not know how to handle the situation. That
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was the first time I refused to help these friends as soon as they asked. I do empathize and

want to help a person who is going through a tough situation. Nevertheless, I do not want

people to mistake my kindness and helpfulness for my weakness. On that day, if I could not

finish my work on time, I would have been yelled at by my other colleagues or my boss.

Therefore, it can be implied that it is necessary to put self-interest first rather than other

people’s interests.

In conclusion, it is essential to be a moral person who follows good moral and ethical

conduct. To behave morally, it is important to be responsible for ourselves such as making

the right choices; making the right decisions; and taking the right actions that are aligned with

the natural laws. If somebody cannot take care of themself well, it is hard for them to take

care of others. From the above reasoning and logic, we must help ourselves first when we are

in a difficult situation rather than help others so that we can become more capable of

contributing and enriching the lives of other people in society.

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Lele Chen
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Reference

Ruggiero, V. R. (2020). Thinking critically about ethical issues. New York, NY: McGraw-

Hill Education.