time’s new roman

maddox dempsey

1
portion i

2
intro

“oh to see without my eyes

the first time that you touched me
boundless by the time i cried
blessed be the mystery of love”

she’s in the yard, you’ll light the fire

our endless summer fades away
nothing gold will stay

3
a couple of fragments from a too-long poem

fragment 2

And it is everything in the world

to watch a face, stained with love
look back at you and smile and smile and smile
Parts of which retain the same glow, in the afternoon
on a languid day taken for yourself and him

It’s little use, dear Mother. Do not place blame on my shoulders,

I cannot complete my work, for
I have been close to killed with love for this boy! An arrow, of sorts,
pierces my side, and out rains blood the wan color of
pale afternoon breath // as an inch to death I remain

“Someone in some
future time
will think of us”

fragment 3

I ask myself
What, boy, can you do.
What, boy, can you give
to someone who has
everything in their power,
like a god?

I am learned in my skill;
Perhaps that’s enough for this
one night?
And night will indeed fall, darker
than pitch
pitch of a field of crows

(Darker than those jokes we

used to crack
and laugh at, to the disdain
of Vimini, of others)

I am worried
I cannot compete with that of which
you resemble;
That which you are built of

4
I want to drown in your
esse, dive into those Monet eyes
Tonight, I remain
unwhole

fragment 4

Lost in my thoughts
I jump, fall
A scarlet stain on the earth
I’m blithe
Like a downtrodden blossom
I bloom, wilt.

fragment 5

I have no direction to walk in

These aspen summer fields are endless! There’s lavender, right there! Other flowers, north. Touched,
I remember the day you bought me Forget-Me-Nots and I promised I would forget-you-not

I open my heart like a fist

and breathe

fragment 6

A nightmare can grip me

Unwise, I let myself be taken
Dreams provide little clarity,
But I find that in my horoscope

Mother, I have returned

from the land of the dead

Thank you, my
endless summer;

You came, and you did well

to come: I longed for
you. You’ve made

love set my body ablaze!

Prithee, bless you! Bless
you as often; as endless

as the hours were

before I was graced
with your kind soul

5
claudia under the lemon tree

take a look at claudia, give her all she needs

she’s happy, she’s beautiful, she’s everything but me
(you love her, she’s everything that you want and more)
but little did you know that i wished that i was she

where walks the moon

i watched
the moon move across the sky
the night is half over; youth
diminished; i am
in bed alone

noontime in the garden

solar love beaming down

with the full-force drone
of mafalda’s mortar oven

the crickets pick up

a lively tune and i dance
with the wheat and sorrow

6
romantic interlude, they all disappear

i met jackson down on the promenade

i cried in his shoulder ‘cause life is hard
all of the guys tell me lies, but he didn’t, he
just traced another tear
he liked the things he feared
then he just disappeared

i met austin down at the training yard

cuts on his face, ‘cause he worked too hard
i watched the guys get in fights
‘cause he fights for me, like guys fight for things
that they hold close and dear
to erase the things he fears
but he just disappeared

i met david on sunset boulevard

sun in my eyes, i let down my guard
i loved that man, like nobody can
he breaks me then makes me human again
all of the guys tell me lies, but
he just held me close and near
i pretend that he’s still here
cause they all disappear

sunset boulevard

happy that you’re wasted, you

tend do pull these things, you do
send you off to somewhere new
in your chevy malibu
i pull the trick, i see it through
you’re looking for her, like xanadu
paint me happy, paint me blue
nothing gold stays, just like us two

7
caravaggio

san clemente syndrome

pulses through my veins
in the way only words can
only words can
strike in me, like a match
flitted against the watering smell
of gasoline, kerosene
rainwater drips from the ailanthus
the tall lavender grasses stir and soothe
white sands shift beneath our feet
closing your eyes, chasing my fingertips
with a hitched breath
gideon has presented himself to us, two
we were given the stars, you and i
and we must cherish it as such

2004 toyota prius

your busted guitar

hand on my back
the night was young,
but the sky was black

8
summer 19

1
bee stings and sunscreen
remind me of your birthday
sad in the summer

2
loneliness calls me
on my cellphone every night
tears fall like a storm

3
symmetrical love
your lips parted in a smile
my tongue between them

4
crickets chirp and dance
you hold me in the tall grass
shoulders arched, godlike

5
neon fire eyes
your charming disposition
fills me with love, love

6
rainwater mists slowly
your planted lavender grows
surrounded by green

7
lemon-orange sodas
we purchased at the food truck
i gave you my fries

8
another night gone
we are all happy and sunburnt
we felt immortal

9
lilia bought us
cherry scones from the market
we ate them like kids

10
young was the summer
we were all so free back then
dreaming in real life

9
11
twelve hours were spent
working at the cool blue pool
no hard decisions

12
absentmindedly
my thigh and his fingertips
he was cool as heck

13
lemonade is my
chosen cold beverage
sour so sour

14
all those lemonades
turn your lips cold and sour
we will always dream

he reads celan

hands on your waist, don’t waste any time

in the backseat, t-shirts dull the crime
the waves came in over my head

springtime

it is a sad night
i am lying on my
back; 3:00 AM, i
am in bed; i am
alone

10
kinsglow
if your mind was a letter
it would certainly take form of
crisp text on painted peach pages
that bring to mind clementines
and a summer afternoon

vis-à-vis

1
“cool blue eyes”
is the misconception of the century
because within yours
burn fires uncanny to that
within your heart, soul

2
your soap reminds me
(fresh neroli, lavender)
of much easier days

3
touched by your kind words
sanguine smiles sent sprawling
soothe me with your waves

4
doubts about myself
languid in your summer’s breath
always washed away

5
wandering eyes only
brush through juniper branches
when looking for them

6
i dive into a
river of unhappiness
blessed be the sun

11
love my way

we danced, i found myself

searching for your sliding smiles
why did i do it?
i honestly couldn’t tell you

maybe it was the way your

worn converse pro-leather shoes
looked against the grass

maybe it was the fact that your

american embodied soul
crushed any forces of opposition
my seemingly feeble (or quickly becoming so)
mind could muster

we danced in the piazza

you’ll kill me if you stop
which is another way of saying
i’ll die if you stop
you you you you you

rainwater drips from the ailanthus

high in the ailanthus you rest

a single blossom, untouched
by the seeking hands of the gatherer’s sway
not that they haven’t tried, no.
restful, you remain
no hard decisions

you are an apple of achilles

and i love you
but perhaps in a different way

we met in the central piazza

at anchises’ stand
each queerly buying
the same amount of clementines
(a cheerful fruit)
(a cheerful summer)

returning to your tree,

you bloom
crimson and bright
you blithe seaside man

12
just out of reach

june

1
it is a
sit in
your room and
listen to Haydn
sort of day

2
“i wish
i had one
friend i
wasn’t
destined to
lose”

i seek a nightly tryst

your hands seek my shoulders
like the flickering eyes of a
naïve teenager

3
what a world this is!
if this lasted longer than
an hour, or a summer
i wouldn’t know

4
before my plans came into
fruition i should have known:
you were interested in the book;
not me

5
i remember
standing in the hot shower
sharing a bag of pretzel sticks
we’d just taken a swim
in the pool that hadn’t opened yet
we thought we had it all
(i think we had it all)

13
portion ii

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the world is dying!!!

i can now seldom confirm

whether it’s astronomical dawn
or civil twilight

but what does it matter again?

when any sunset
could be the last

i find myself
seeking childish comfort
in the things that i know

i find myself
seeking more than this
i put on a mask, cry for the broken families

non somnia bene

i dream of things that are scary

orchids might bloom in reality
in my dreams, nary a blossom

performative activism

i feel lied about and lied to

too many died to fight it
this system was built to burn
no need to help incite it

a country of one, more like a country of none

wish i could be disinvited
i go to sleep
as i tuck another tear behind my eyelid

15
 “ecce, hic puer est non iam strenua!”

sick and tired of waking up

screaming at the top of my lungs
i think i should have left myself behind

take them high or take them low

show ‘em what you got motoko
just let yourself take it easy tonight

syzygal
your rising sign and mine
tend to not align
but when they do, it’s fine
when they do it’s fine

hate all of your rich friends

breaking things like it’s art

want me to sign there on your range rover heart
i’ve slept here before, the dinner was nice
‘til your shoulder became colder than ice
can’t try to stop you or call the cops
‘cause all of your money picks you up when you drop

16
il angelo cauboi // archipelago

1
they think i’m happy and i am but not how you’d think
i met him near ​villam rusticam ​under the freeway, Santa Rosa
two blocks from the beach

he thinks i’m happy and i am but not how he thinks

the night’s over in Mar Vista, i turn to grab my things
and leave

i write that i’m happy and i am but now how you’d think
a broken box gathers dust and holds all the change, every
last receipt

2
a smile lingers on your face
i turn to look at my bootlace
everything you made for me
i enjoy in your place

3
i loved the games we’d play
on our lunch break — walk to the bank & then buy sodas ​italiano
you made me zucchini bread
once, and i loved it
i thought i saw you
at my new job
but i was wrong

17
il muvi star americano // david

1
i miss the things we’d do
from the poolside to the beach
we meditate, self-medicate
in the autumn leaves
and when we’re done, i grab my keys
i take my keys and leave

2
you fight for light like a guy with precision
with decision like an artist not yet seen with a vision
with reasons in your mind for the colors of your sky
why treason is a crime when it’s frequent in this region

3
long in solidarity
in a tudor style home
12 houses down from
rose avenue we roam

4
i remember your black chevy malibu
and i see it sometimes, but it’s never you

5
time is stopping, moving through you
you’re enlightened by what moves you

summer blue evening water waiter

1
you move me like water, sweet baby, sweet waiter
fifteen after 12, you work from midnight and later
fill the diner with your blue, nobody is greater
to nobody you cater, but i know i’ll see you later

2
hit me up when you’re done with work
see you on a dark night
i’ll pick you up five after one
this blue summer evening
see you on a dark night
the darker the better

you color me blue

the words in your hands
they color me blue

18
the next best american man

you ran my thoughts out of context

behind your midtown apartment complex
it sounds like a bunch of nonsense
until you walked me through a prospect:

and that’s when you told me

lying in the sand,
grinning, you madman
you told me how to live
told me your grand plan
seemed about as broken as a fallen nightstand

you told me the happiness doing nothing can bring

so i decided to do nothing about everything

but i’d rather not do nothing, if anything, than

admit you’re the next best american man
until it comes to public fruition, keep it your plan
you sly summer blue evening sad broken man

19
pull yourself together and breathe

small orange bottles, if only you’d leave me alone

seven nights in limbo, mental rehab for the soul
that was the first week i was home

therapy is great, but i’d rather sit with you

maybe go get some boba, walk around the park,
that’ll do

levitating gardens, a meditation zoom

i’m building myself back up, i couldn’t do it
without you

and you’d say

“pull yourself together and breathe
we’ll get through this together, you’ll see
pull yourself together and breathe
might hate yourself so do it for me, babe”

this won’t go back to normal, if it ever was

i’ll never give up, just keep writing stuff because
i guess it helps me grow up

i didn’t wanna wake up, my fears live in the mirror

you tried to walk me through it, ‘cause you know just how i feel
i want to pretend it isn’t real

you send me songs daily, bringing light to my sky

it might not fix everything, but you really do try
i don’t deserve you, like why?

but you say

“pull yourself together and breathe
we’ll get through this together, you’ll see
pull yourself together and breathe
do it for yourself, don’t do it for me”

outro

i have loved you for the last time

is it a video? is it a video?
i have kissed you for the last time
visions of gideon

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