Adult Attachment Styles

Student’s Name
Institution

Introduction
 Adult romantic relationships are attachments, just like infant-caregiver relationships.
 Accordingly, romantic relationship between adults is a subset of the attachment
behavioral system.
 Since romantic relationships between adults are attachment relationships, the different
attachment styles observed in infant-caregiver relationships also apply to adult
relationships.
 There are three unique forms of attachment–anxious, avoidant, and secure (Practical
Psychology, 2016).
 Persons who enjoyed a healthy childhood gerenerallty have a better approach to intimate
relationships.
 On the other hand, people who experieced poor parenting, abuse, or neglect in their
childhood (avoidant and anxious persons) find intimate relationships more challenging.
Anxious
 Individuals with this style love to be close to their partners.
 Are concerned that their partners may not want to get as close as they do.
 Are very sensitive to words.
 Their moods fluctuate to meet their partner’s needs.
 Easy to upset.
 Are unsure whether other people will be there for them when they need them.
 Worried that their partner does not really love them.
 Frequent contacts through phone calls, texts, and emails (Practical Psychology, 2016).
 Perceive others as being reluctant to get closer to them as they would like.
 Frequently concerned that their partner will not want to stay with them.
 Seek to merge completely with another person (Statistics Solutions, 2020).
 Their desire to merge occasionally scares people away.
Anxious persons are primarily concerned that other people may not love them fully. As a
result, they easily get frustrated or annoyed when their attachment needs are not satisfied
(Fraley, 2018). They place very high expectations on their partners since they expect the
relationship to define them or make them feel complete as they are afraid of being alone.
Avoidant
 Persons with this style are independent and self-sufficient.
 Are uncomfortable with intimacy.
 Are not worried about the relationship.
 Are not open about their thoughts and feelings.
 Find it hard to depend on others.
 Feel that people are not there for them in times of need.
 Do not trust other people completely.
 Feel uneasy when close to others.
 Get nervous when any person gets too close (Statistics Solutions, 2020).
 Feel their partner want them to be more intimate than they feel comfortable being.
Individuals with avoidant style shun relationships completely, are secretive, not ready for
commitment, and keep any person they encounter at a distance. They show less concern about
close relationships, and may prefer not to rely heavily on other people or have others depend on
them (Fraley, 2018). Even when a romantic relationship is developing, they can unexpectedly
end it since they are scared their new partner will leave them–so they leave before they are left.
Secure Attachment
 To these individuals loving comes naturally.
 They do not get upset easily.
 Are not jealous.
 Communicate their needs well.
 Are comfortable depending on others.
 They know others will be there for them in times of need.
 Are not worried about being abandoned.
 Find it relatively easy to get closer to other people (Statistics Solutions, 2020).
 Are not worried about others getting closer to them.
 Feel comfortable in having others depend on them.
The high sense of security from individuals with secure attachment originates from the healthy
relationship they had with their parents. As children, they were given freedom to explore the
world, but felt protected and safe. In turn, in their adulthood, they trust their partners to lead an
independent life while cognizant of when to be supportive and intimate (Fraley, 2018). Such
persons feel confident that their partners will be there for them in times of need, are open to
relying on others, and have no problem with others depending on them. Even in conflict, they
can effectively articulate their grievances, while simultaneously listening to their partner’s
grievances without becoming overly defensive.
Conclusion
 Attachment theory is useful in explaining interpersonal relationships across lifetime.
 Individuals can be grouped into three styles– secure, avoidant, and anxious.
 The three styles have been analyzed, with a focus on how they affect adult intimate
relationships.
 Knowledge of your attachment style can help you confront your fears and insecurities
and begin formulating new styles of attachment that can lead to a loving and fulfilling
relationship.
References
Fraley, C. (2018). A brief overview of adult attachment theory and research. Retrieved 17 July
2020, from http://labs.psychology.illinois.edu/~rcfraley/attachment.htm.
Practical Psychology. (2016, May 25). Attached - The Science of Attachment - Anxious and
Avoidant Loving [Video]. [Video]. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-47gAh9S-Fw.
Statistics Solutions. (2020). Adult attachment scale (AAS). Retrieved 17 July 2020, from
https://www.statisticssolutions.com/adult-attachment-scale-aas/.