get discouraged by knowing the harm about them just as mentioned by psychiatrist peter breggin.

I’m lost and in despair. Can’t handle this any longer. I’ve tried talking to a friend and hung out with for
a few minutes but terrible feeling is always there even when speaking to someone. No one knows
how to help me and idk how either. I feel like I’m stuck with a permanent type of anxiety or
depression but fe it’s worse becase I feel meds damaged me or at least the way I took them. I hardly
eat because of $, eat 99cent store food as oppose to what I used to eat all organic and vegetarian
diet. My new diagnosis is depersonalization derrealozation disorder but that was caused by meds I
feel. I wish for someone to heal me idk how this time on my own. Thanks for reading this long post. I
just want my personality, health and regular sleep back with peace of mind. This isn’t just a
depression I have a horrific feeling that won’t go away idk if it’s because of how meds left me but it
won’t go away even if I try to hang out with friends or anything I do. I isolate myself. Just want my life
back, good emotions, same feelings/emmotions I had for everything I enjoyed. I don’t feel this is a
dark knight of the soul or spiritual awakening as some think

 First of all, the REAL you that you describe is your soul/spirit. This part of you is eternal and
indestructible. It is composed of the energy called 'love'. You have not damaged it. It waits there at
the centre of your body for you to return to it once you have stopped panicking and racing through
the mind frantically searching for the answer either as a concept or from someone else. Medication
or not, what you must do is ask for divine assistance and meditate on the heart and solar plexus
close to the spine. Sit in this place for long enough by following the breathing and eventually you will
calm. This could take weeks or months for you depending on circumstances. What you are
experiencing is extremely common. People tend to hide this sort of thing. Relaxing cannot be done
without trust. This is why faith in something higher is essential. Humans are mostly too lost to trust
them to help very much when you are so vulnerable. So fight to do what you think is right. You
sound compus mentus to me! You are fully aware. Much love and luck to you.