Creative Writing

TTH (9:00-10:30)

Chasing Memories

My hands were sweating as I stand at the front gate of my new school silently praying
things won't go the same here. Evil laughter echoed in my mind and I felt my knees started to
tremble. I waved the thought, took a deep breath and laid my first step on my new school.
After searching for few minutes, I saw my name written on the first room on the second
floor of the nearest building. I peeked and nobody's inside yet. It was still six on my wrist watch,
that's why. The blue-painted room made me feels comfortable somehow. I went straight to the
last seat at the back of the room. The spot felt safer. I rested my bag on the chair and took the
opportunity to scan the place. I could already see few people roaming around the quadrangle
from the window. Boredom sent me down and I opted to sit on the bench under a big jackfruit
tree. The ambiance of the place felt a lot different. The trees that surrounded the school made
me feel the tranquility I had never known. I was lost in thoughts when I felt arms wrapped
around me from the back.
"You're early," the voice whispered.
My stomach tightened and when I looked, his eyeballs seemed to fall from his eye sockets.
He pushed me and I almost fell from the bench. I frowned and stared at him angrily.
"I'm sorry. I thought you're Marilyn," he said in an apologetic tone.
I didn't answer and walked away irritated. Such remarks endlessly haunted me- you look
like a neighbor, you look like a friend, you look like a friend of a friend or you look like someone I
know. It pissed me off hearing all that. The room was crowded when I went back. People were
talking nonstop. I went to my seat and saw him positioned beside my bag.
"Hi, you're new here? I'm Adrian, you are?"
"Li," I answered without glancing at him.
My head ached listening to the idle chattering of my new classmates. I rested my head on
the armchair and was startled by a slight tap on my shoulder. It was him telling me the teacher
came in. Though I was still irritated with him, I mouthed "thanks". I wasn't so sure but I guessed
our friendship started just that.
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The friendship we established grew faster because we shared lots in common. On vacant
hours, we would just sit and listen to songs of Jason Mraz with his earphones. During Math
classes, we would scribble at the back of our notebooks and sometimes compete who doodled
best. At times, he would bring me to his circle of friends but I just couldn't find camaraderie
there. Marilyn came out to be our schoolmate. She was just a room away from us. Indeed, we're
of the same height, body shape and hair length. She hanged with Adrian much than we do.
Rumors were spreading about them but I didn't dare ask him about her.
My Science teacher didn't show up so I went out to buy something to eat. I spotted them
talking on the stairs. From here, I could tell they are arguing over something. Marilyn seemed to
be crying, then, Adrian hugged him. Unable to endure the sight, I went back to the room with
an unfamiliar feeling.
We were not able to talk after that scene. He was obviously avoiding me. We're sitting close
to each other but he barely looked at me. I tried to talk to him but he had lots of excuse to cut
our conversation. He pretended I didn't exist beside him and it frustrated me. Some of my
classmates would talk to me but I felt they're not enjoying my company or maybe it was just
me. They were not like him that would laugh even to my most mawkish jokes. After some time, I
found myself enjoying my solitude.

It was Sunday. My mother and I were getting ready to church when she received a call. I had
a bad feeling watching her as her eyebrows met. She looked at me with sad eyes. I knew it. Her
work conquered her and I could feel the pinch of jealousy I was struggling to hide. I smiled to
appease her guilt and went alone trying to catch the ten o'clock mass. Just as I was about to
enter the church, I saw him approaching.
"Adrian," I called to get his attention. "I can't believe I'll see you in this kind of place."
"I've got prayers you know," he answered with a wide smile showing his perfectly even
teeth. I missed those smiles. "Let's get inside. The mass is about to start."
We were quiet during the mass. The priest's voice echoed as he spoke. His mouth was half-
opened staring at the altar. I took the chance to stare at his well- chiseled face, cliffed jaw, small
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but pointed nose and long eye lashes. He caught me staring and mouthed "why". I just smiled in
response. Before the mass ended, I intended to ask Him for apology because I wasn't able to
give my full attention this time.
"Do you want me to take you home?" he asked when we were outside the church.
"Sure," I answered without a second thought. This would be a great opportunity to talk to
him what went wrong. Besides, I missed being with him.
We were silent while walking but I liked the feeling. Not one of us wanted to open a
conversation. The road around was busy but I could hear the loud thumping of my heart.
"What happened?" I managed to speak after listening to a long silence. He looked at me
confused but eventually got what I meant.
"I love her," he said shifting his eyes from me. Again, an unfamiliar feeling made me want to
cry but I held it. "She doesn't like seeing me hanging out with you."
My heart seemed to elevate to my throat. I sighed in defeat and dared not to ask more. Our
arms sometimes bumped but he felt farther. We continued to walk in silence until I reached
home.
"I'm sorry," he whispered as I closed the front door.
I threw myself to bed and stared at the ceiling for I didn't know how long. "I love her" kept
echoing in my head. A sudden pain shot in my chest and it suffocated me. I shifted position
several times unable to compose my mind to sleep.
The weight of my body when I woke up made me want to sleep more. I hurried school but
arrived twenty minutes late. My first subject teacher stood in front of the room when I peeked
on the window so I decided to ditch class.
The quadrangle was empty and the school was quiet. I could see few students running to
catch their classes. I sat on my favorite spot under the big jackfruit tree and lean my head on
the trunk. The rays of the sun that escaped from the leaves stroked on my face. I stared at it
until drops of water rolled down my cheeks. The light became unbearable so I closed my eyes.
The breeze felt like hands massaging my face. I stayed like that for minutes. The peaceful
morning calmed my troubled heart.
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"Why did you bunk class?"

I was startled but regained my composure immediately. He was looking down at me raising
his right eyebrow.
"Why are you here? You should be listening to our teacher now. Also, she might see us." I
almost whispered the last line.
He stared blankly at me. I couldn't figure out what was on his mind. The stares made me
uneasy so I stood up to leave. Just when I took my first step, he grabbed my hand.
"Do you like me?"
Ice cold rushed through my body. A lump formed in my throat that literally hindered me
from speaking.
"Do you like me?" he repeated the question but this time, he was looking directly in my
eyes. His stares were cold. I could feel my knees shaking abnormally. The deafening silence
occurred between us. He sighed and turned his back from me.
"Yeah, I like you." He stopped but didn't look back. "I like you." This time, he faced me.
Bitter smile automatically flashed my face, "but you love her." My eyes were fixed on his as I
said it. When I looked down, small pieces of the leaf on my hand scattered on the ground. He
was about to say something when the bell ringed. I went back to the room and he followed
silently.
Marilyn was standing angrily at the door of our classroom when we went back. Her stares
were like knives stabbing me. She was about to speak when our next teacher arrived. I followed
my teacher inside the room. I naturally liked the subject but my head was occupied by our last
conversation that I didn't notice the teacher was out. "Do you like me?" "Yeah, I like you" kept
ringing in my head the whole day.
I was on bed for hours but my eyes never slept a wink. All I could hear was the ticking of my
wall clock hanged above my study table. I stared at the clock until it stroked three and was
snapped back to reality when my phone beeped. The message was from an unknown sender
but I knew exactly one person who liked to type big and small letter in a word. It was him saying
"aRe yoU OkaY?" I laid my phone back. Of course I would never be okay.
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Days passed unnoticed. I would wake up in the morning, attended class and went home.
They were always together and it suffocated me watching them.
One morning, I was eating in the canteen when a familiar face sat in front of me.
"Hi, I'm Sheena. You're Li right? I'm not sure if you notice but we're classmates," she
extended her hand and I accepted it. She seemed nice. "Why are you always alone?"
I just smiled. "Do you want to eat?" I asked to shift the topic. She seemed to get it and
didn't ask more.
We went inside the classroom together. I went directly to my seat and scanned the room
but he's not yet around. The afternoon class was over and he didn't show up. I overheard my
classmates talking that they saw Adrian and Marilyn went out of the school. So they skip class
together.
I was answering my assignment when my mother knocked.
"You have a visitor," she whispered signaling me to come out.
I couldn't think of possible visitor in the middle of the night. I hurried out and was
astounded at the scene.
"Why are you here?" I sounded rude but I didn't care.
"Sorry to disturb you at this hour." I stared at her. She was still wearing our school uniform.
"Please stay away from him."
I gasped at what she said. "You really come this late for that?"
"We want a peaceful relationship and we can't get that until you disappear from the
picture."
"You know what Marilyn; I can't believe you can be this desperate. If you don't mind, I'm
busy."
"We were okay before you came."
"I don't know what's going on between the two of you and I'm NOT interested to know so
please leave."
She stormed out of the house and my heart was beating wildly as I dropped on the nearest
couch.
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I was getting ready for sleep when my phone ringed. I stared at the screen for some time
doubting if I would answer or not. I've had enough tonight. In the end, I opted to answer it. I
waited for him to speak but he remained silent. I was about to put down my phone when he
said "hi".
"Why did you call?" I said coldly.
"Sorry to disturb you but did Marilyn come to your house?"
"If you have problems, it's none of my business. I don't care about the two of you so please
leave me alone."
"I'm sorry." I hated it every time he apologized. It made me feel I was at fault.
"I'm tired of your apologies. If you're really sorry, fix your problem with her." I heard him
sigh. We were silent for few minutes. All I heard was his heavy breath that echoed in the silent
night.
I was about to enter the school gate when Sheena grabbed me.
"I heard Marilyn went to your house last night. Is it true?"
"Where did you get that news?"
"Chismis travels faster than light you know. What happened?" I can see the excitement in
her eyes.
"Nothing important. Let's go."
"Tsss, okay fine."
He was resting his head on his armchair when I entered the room. I tip toed going to my
seat and placed my bag on my chair. I was heading out when a warm hand hold my wrist.
"Can we talk?" he said seriously.
I tighten my grip on the hem of my shirt.
"I'm sorry for everything," he whispered that I almost didn't hear it.
I remained silent. My eyes were fixed on the floor.
"We broke up yesterday..." he said without looking at me. Silence crept the whole room,
"because I like you." His last words deafened me. He said it quietly but it reached me loud and
clear. Finally, he said it. I should be happy but unexplainable sadness dominated me. I stood
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speechless for minutes absorbing what I just heard. I struggled for words to say.
"And what do you expect me to do?" was all I managed to utter.
He sighed as an answer. A group of students entered noisily that cut our conversation. My
eyes trailed on his back as he returned to his seat. Sheena came snapping her fingers in front of
me. I didn't notice I was so stiff and I slouched immediately.

We became stranger to each other. As much as possible, I would stay away from him.
Sheena told me Marilyn and Adrian didn't get back together. We're on the same classroom but
we never communicate unless for school matters. She introduced me to her circle of friends and
there, I experienced the type of domestic tranquility I had never known.

Everyone was excited. Hearts were hanged on the ceilings of every room and on the
branches of the trees. Girls and boys were eagerly talking about partners and dances. Love was
definitely in the air. It made me miss him more.
My dress was on my bed when I reached home. It was a royal blue halter gown with round
pleats up to my ankle.
"Try to fit your dress," my mother said lifting my gown.
"I'll try that tomorrow ma."
"I want to see you on that dress. I won't be here tomorrow."
I can see the sadness in her eyes. She was aware she spent almost all her time for work. I
could not resent her for that. She did everything for me. I tried the dress because I didn't want
to disappoint her.
Colored lights glimmered here and there. Love songs filled the whole place. Heart-shaped
balloons were hanged everywhere. I had the hard time walking because of the weight of my
gown and my heels. Sheena and the other girls with their partners surrounded our table when I
came.
"I was worried. I thought you won't come," Ryle said as he moves the chair signaling me to
sit down.
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I just smiled at him. Sheena introduced him to me before and we got along just fast. He's
been a good friend and a partner. He was never absent during practices and I felt comfortable
with him.
Minutes later, the party begun. I scanned the place and saw him positioned across our
table. He was with Marilyn. They must be together again. The first dance started. Everyone
gathered at the center of the hall. The music played and Ryle guided me throughout the whole
dance. After the first dance, we went back to our table while the host was talking in front. We
were busy chatting when the host announced for the cotillion. The dance started with our
partners and as the music turns, we changed partners. After few turns, I landed on a familiar
face. His face brightened as light reflected it. He stared at me and I looked down. I couldn't look
him in the eyes.
"You look beautiful," he said smiling. Heat rushed through my face. We danced with the
music and the turn felt much longer.
The cotillion ended and my feet ached from dancing. I sat on my chair for a while and
scanned the place. Happy faces danced everywhere.
"Can I dance with you?" Adrian asked offering his hand.
My feet were shaking going to the dance floor. His hands were warm on my hips. The music
was loud but all I heard was the wild beating of my heart. My hands were sweating on his
shoulders. I stared at him and smiled.
"I miss you," I said without noticing it. I was caught off guard. I started to panic when he
wrapped his arms around me.
"I miss you too," he whispered. We danced like that for minutes. My head was leaning on
his heart. I listened to his racing heartbeat until it was placid.
"Can I dance with him?" Marilyn stood beside us.
I went back to my table and watched them danced. I sighed at the sight. Maybe we're just
meant to pass by each other.
Starting that night, the atmosphere between us became less awkward. We talked but I
could really feel the wall in between.
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Time was fleeting and fleeting again that I almost didn't notice graduation was fast
approaching. Everyone was busy completing their clearances. I was reading some magazines in
the library waiting for the librarian for my clearance when Marilyn sat in front of me. I
pretended I didn't notice her.
"Congratulations! I heard you ranked third for the whole batch," she said grabbing some
magazines scattered on the table. I glanced at her and stared for a moment.
"Thanks and congratulations also for graduating."
"Is that a compliment or sarcasm?"
"Whichever you prefer," I said coldly.
"You know what; we just started on the wrong foot. I hope someday when we meet again,
we can greet each other comfortably," she said seriously.
"I'm looking forward for that day." I smiled at her and stood up to meet the librarian
halfway. Somehow, I felt a heavy weight lifted from my chest.
I was lying on my bed thinking everything that happened. The school year was about to end
yet it felt like yesterday when I first set foot on my school. The place made me grow somehow.
"Are you okay?" my mother entered bringing a pair of close shoes.
"Wow! Is this for me?" I tried the shoes excitedly.
"Congratulations on your graduation. What do you want as a gift?"
"I want you to escort me to the stage. I have an award," I said with a wide smile.
"Don't worry, I'll be there. Promise."
I smiled at the thought. I can't wait for graduation.
The whole classroom was busy memorizing our graduation song. Some were drumming
their hands on their armchairs. Others were shouting and jumping with the beat. We were very
noisy but it was not irritating. Everyone was smiling ear to ear. Every heart was filled with
happiness and excitement.
"Congratulations," he smiled as he sat on the chair beside me.
"I should be the one congratulating you. It's not easy to be top one and still handsome," I
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said breaking the awkwardness.

He burst into laughter and I missed it. He stopped laughing and looked at me seriously.
"What if you come earlier?" he said out of nowhere.
"Things would have been different, perhaps."
He nodded. We were silent watching our noisy classmates.
"I wish we can still see each other after graduation," he said breaking our silence.
"That's not impossible."
"By that time, I hope we can be together without hesitations."
"That's beyond our control." We sighed together.

Marching music echoed the whole place. Students in white gowns lined up with their
parents before the entrance of the auditorium. I saw my mother coming so I ran towards her.
The whole year experience flashed back as I marched to the stage. The feeling was a mixture of
happiness and sadness. Happy because another dream came true and at the same time sad
because the new friendship I found was cut short. Besides, I would surely miss him. Above
everything, thinking about new life and experiences excited me.
It was my uncle's burial day. I waited in the cemetery for few hours because I came too
early. The sun was scorching so I decided to sit under the shade of a tree and opened my
cousin's umbrella. A thought suddenly occupied my mind: It's been four years since I last saw
him. I just waved the thought and still, waited patiently.
Minutes later, the screeching noise of a 20-year old motorcycle I guess snapped me back to
reality. Behind the shabby blue-colored-jacket driver was a familiar face. The well-chiseled face
wearing a white sleeveless jersey shirt. The curve road helped me get a chance to stare. Still
him- the man I used to know, I thought. Not until I saw clearly the woman behind him. Well-
crafted eyebrows, bloody red lips and a bit uneven face and neck complexion. The woman I
used to see every time I stalk him on facebook, his new girlfriend.
He smiled showing his dimple positioned on his right cheek. I nodded and forced a smile.
My heart raced but as the motorcycle went, it faded.