Betty Botter's Better Batter

Betty Botter had some butter,

"But," she said, "this butter's bitter.
If I bake this bitter butter,
It would make my batter bitter.
But a bit of better butter,
That would make my batter better."
So she bought a bit of butter –
Better than her bitter butter –
And she baked it in her batter;
And the batter was not bitter.
So 'twas better Betty Botter
Bought a bit of better butter.

Ned Nott and Sam Shott

Ned Nott was shot and Sam Shott was not.
So it is better to be Shott than Nott.
Some say Nott was not shot.
But Shott says he shot Nott.
Either the shot Shott shot at Nott was not shot,
Or Nott was shot.
If the shot Shott shot shot Nott, Nott was shot.
But if the shot Shott shot shot Shott,
Then Shott was shot, not Nott.
However, the shot Shott shot shot not Shott, but Nott.

The Two-Toed Tree-Toad

A tree-toad loved a she-toad
Who lived up in a tree.
He was a two-toed tree-toad,
But a three-toed toad was she.
The two-toed tree-toad tried to win
The three-toed she-toad's heart,
For the two-toed tree-toad loved the ground
That the three-toed tree-toad trod.
 But the two-toed tree-toad tried in vain;
He couldn't please her whim.
From her tree-toad bower,
With her three-toed power,
The she-toad vetoed him.

See's Saw and Soar's Seesaw

Mr. See owned a saw.
And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw.
Now, See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw
Before Soar saw See,
Which made Soar sore.
Had Soar seen See's saw
Before See sawed Soar's seesaw,
See's saw would not have sawed
Soar's seesaw.
So See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.
But it was sad to see Soar so sore
just because See's saw sawed
Soar's seesaw.

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.

Did Peter Piper pick a peck of pickled peppers?
If Peter Piper Picked a peck of pickled peppers,
Where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?

She sells seashells by the seashore.

The shells she sells are surely seashells.
So if she sells shells on the seashore,
I'm sure she sells seashore shells.

Red lorry, yellow lorry.

Which wristwatches are Swiss wristwatches?

 How much wood would a woodchuck chuck
If a woodchuck could chuck wood?
He would chuck, he would, as much as he could,
And chuck as much as a woodchuck would
If a woodchuck could chuck wood.

Unique New York.

Many an anemone sees an enemy anemone.

Freshly-fried flying fish.

She stood on the balcony,

inexplicably mimicking him hiccoughing,
and amicably welcoming him home.

Imagine an imaginary menagerie manager

imagining managing an imaginary menagerie.

The epitome of femininity.

A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk,

but the stump thunk the skunk stunk.

Greek grapes.
I am not the pheasant plucker,
I'm the pheasant plucker's mate.
I am only plucking pheasants
Because the pheasant plucker's late.

I slit the sheet, the sheet I slit;

and on the slitted sheet I sit.

One smart fellow; he felt smart.

Two smart fellows; they felt smart.
Three smart fellows; they all felt smart.
 I'm not the fig plucker,
Nor the fig pluckers' son,
But I'll pluck figs
Till the fig plucker comes.

Fire truck tyres

Six stick shifts stuck shut.

Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers.

Don't nod

Dogma: I am God

Never odd or even

Too bad – I hid a boot

Rats live on no evil star

No trace; not one carton

Was it Eliot's toilet I saw?

Murder for a jar of red rum

May a moody baby doom a yam?

Go hang a salami; I'm a lasagna hog!

Satan, oscillate my metallic sonatas!

A Toyota! Race fast... safe car: a Toyota

Straw? No, too stupid a fad; I put soot on warts

 Are we not drawn onward, we few, drawn onward to new era?

Doc Note: I dissent. A fast never prevents a fatness. I diet on cod

No, it never propagates if I set a gap or prevention

Anne, I vote more cars race Rome to Vienna

Sums are not set as a test on Erasmus

Kay, a red nude, peeped under a yak

Some men interpret nine memos

Campus Motto: Bottoms up, Mac

Go deliver a dare, vile dog!

Madam, in Eden I'm Adam

Oozy rat in a sanitary zoo

Ah, Satan sees Natasha

Lisa Bonet ate no basil

Do geese see God?

God saw I was dog

Dennis sinned

fighting a liar lighting a fire

you hissed my mystery lecture you missed my history lecture
cattle ships and bruisers battle ships and cruisers

nosey little cook cosy little nook

a blushing crow a crushing blow

sons of toil
tons of soil

our queer old Dean our dear old Queen

we'll have the hags flung out we'll have the flags hung out

you've tasted two worms you've wasted two terms

our shoving leopard our loving shepherd

a half-warmed fish a half-formed wish

is the bean dizzy? is the Dean busy?

know your blows blow your nose

go and shake a tower go and take a shower

tease my ears ease my tears

nicking your pose picking your nose

you have very mad banners you have very bad manners

lack of pies pack of lies

it's roaring with pain it's pouring with rain

sealing the hick healing the sick

go help me sod so help me God

pit nicking nit picking

bowel feast foul beast

I'm a damp stealer I'm a stamp dealer

hypodemic nurdle hypodermic needle

wave the sails save the whales

chipping the flannel on TV flipping the channel on TV

mad bunny bad money

I'm shout of the hour I'm out of the shower

lead of spite speed of light

this is the pun fart this is the fun part

I hit my bunny phone I hit my funny bone

flutter by butterfly

bedding wells wedding bells

I must mend the sail I must send the mail

cop porn popcorn

it crawls through the fax it falls through the cracks

my zips are lipped my lips are zipped

bat flattery flat battery

would you like a nasal hut? would you like a hazel nut?

puke on coupon

belly jeans jelly beans

eye ball bye all

fight in your race right in your face

ready as a stock steady as a rock

no tails toe nails

hiss and lear listen here

soul of ballad bowl of salad

Two of Who of
2♥
Hearts tarts?
 Whore of
Four of
4♥ farts
Hearts

Eight of
8♥ Hate of Arts
Hearts

10♥
Ten of Hen of tarts
Hearts

Ace of Space of
A♠
Spades aids

Four of Spore of
4♠
Spades fades

Eight of Spate of
8♠
Spades AIDS

Four of Door of
4♦
Diamonds fireman's

Five of Dive of
5♦
Diamonds fireman's

Six of Dicks of
6♦
Diamonds Simon's
Two of
2♣ Clue of tubs
Clubs

Five of 5♣ Clive of
Clubs Fubbs