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QUESTION: I'm gonna lord ur tro.

ASKED BY: Time


ANSWER 1: I'll prince your weenie. Mb.

QUESTION: I'm coming over there to munch on you.


ASKED BY: Time
ANSWER 1: Good, good. When you come over, be sure to use the south door. Just ignore
the signs about the poison gas and the rabid gator pit; those are just illusions to scare away
all but our most devout fans.

QUESTION: do you really exist, or am i dreaming a


very horrible nightmare?
ASKED BY: Dark§tar
ANSWER 1: Heh, I was just about to ask you that same question.

QUESTION: who here actualy knows what the name


ig98 is a take of off
ASKED BY: Forum Munkey-God
ANSWER 1: An assassin droid in the Star Wars universe named IG-88. Now stop wasting
my time.

QUESTION: wtf is shlitz?


ASKED BY: Drey
ANSWER 1: It's beer. Schlitz runs along then same vein as other *ahem* high-quality
beers such as Hamm's and Blatz. It also has the wonderful characteristic of being cheap,
something that someone with your towering intellect will no doubt treasure.
QUESTION: if this place is officialy unofficialy kinda
open but not, then why dont you do some
articles? :)
ASKED BY: Dark§tar
ANSWER 1: I dunno.

QUESTION: "bite me" a phrase often used to spite


others, sometimes an invitation to
disaster, but still fun to say. oh yea, the
question... can i eat Gog's soul?
ASKED BY: Dark§tar
ANSWER 1: Fool. I have no soul; I sold it years ago for a 12-pack of Schlitz and a copy of
Ultima III. Now go away.

QUESTION: well ok... why did sam do that with Ab?


who the hell is gog? is fred in any way
related to Sz? and lastly who built the
spork?
ASKED BY: Forum Munkey-God
ANSWER 1: Hmm, we usually delete multiple questions like this on grounds of laziness,
but I'm bored today so here goes:

1) When you say 'that', are you referring to the incident with the ground beef or with the
thresher?

2) I am who I am.

3) Mitochondrial DNA evidence indicates that Sz is as related to Fred as you are to


intelligent life, i.e. not very.

4) The Spork wasn't built by anyone. It willed Itself into existence a few years back; kinda
like that greyish gunk that builds up underneath your fingernails.

QUESTION: can i be an admin so i can anoy all the


patrons of this site too? :)
ASKED BY: forum munkey-god
ANSWER 1: Pfft, your mere presence is enough to annoy all the patrons of this site.
Making you admin would cause most to do their best lemming imitation.

QUESTION: mmmm....forbidden
dooohhhhgggnuuuttt....
ASKED BY: Drey
ANSWER 1: Homer: You know, when I was a boy, I really wanted a catcher's mitt, but my
dad wouldn't get it for me. So I held my breath until I passed out and banged my head on
the coffee table. [cheerily] The doctor thought I might have brain damage.

Bart: Dad, what's the point of this story?

Homer: I like stories.

QUESTION: I'll be the gunner on the jeep, Ab!


(speaking of HALO of course)
ASKED BY: MysteryM
ANSWER 1: OMG MM PLEZ PLEZ!

Your driver will be Neb. So be afraid. BE VERY AFRAID.

QUESTION: ok, yer sittin there and thn suddenly you


get teleported through space and time
back to 1941 and yer sittin at the controls
of a german tank.. what do you do!?
ASKED BY: Dark§tar
ANSWER 1: I go find your mother or your grandmother. Threaten her that if she DARES
to have offspring, she'll be hunted down by rabid Moogles. Therefore, your sorry ass would
never be born.

Hello, welcome to the Inquisition!


QUESTION: Can I have a suckle of your zipple?
ASKED BY: MajorGeo
ANSWER 1: Sure. Only if you do the same to Fred. And his Zipple is so big, King Kong
looks like a MIJIT in comparison.

QUESTION: im bored
ASKED BY: Drey
ANSWER 1: Me too.

QUESTION: OMG! Now that SB.com is back (if not


unofficially, I will still support it till it's
taken down forever) does that mean MoG
can actively call itslef the patron order
again?
ASKED BY: MajorGeo
ANSWER 1: Sure. As long as you guys make yourself "scarce..." I mean, why else did we
get so little hits?

QUESTION: 30 seconds to live, you have 3 options:


pray, eat or screw... what do you do!?
ASKED BY: Dark§tar
ANSWER 1: Kill you then eat your liver.

ANSWER 2: It depends on the time of day.

I'd probably screw if I had one of my multiple girlfriends with me at the time. On that
condition only, though.
However, if I was stuck with a man and/or thing (i.e., you), I'd buy a cattle prod just to see
what would happen when I stuck it in your hair/fur.

Praying? well... JEEZUZ IZ MI HEERO is all i gotta say.

QUESTION: NO INQISITN REZPNSEEZ MAK DREI


GO KRAZI!!!!!!!!
ASKED BY: Drey
ANSWER 1: Listening to Drey spout childish locutions every day makes me homicidal.
Fortunately, I know where you live.

QUESTION: waz th pont ov askn th Nqisitn wen dat


foo don ansr?
ASKED BY: Drey
ANSWER 1: MB u shud spnd mor tym n skol nd les tym onlne.

QUESTION: can you list the fallen lords in order from


age, than evilness, than toejam quantity?
ASKED BY: Dark§tar
ANSWER 1: Yes. Can you?

QUESTION: HAHAHAHHAHAH... no.


ASKED BY: Terzol
ANSWER 1: Is that what your girlfriend said last night when you asked her to stay at your
place?

QUESTION: which moogle is the sexiest?? Come on,


you know you have a favorite ;-)
ASKED BY: Mistress 9
ANSWER 1: I'd have to say it was Terzol, since anyone who digs nude mauls is dead sexy
in my book.

QUESTION: *romps around admins* U R


ADMINZ()RZ! *continues romping*
ASKED BY: Time
ANSWER 1: I bet you put extra sugar on your Lucky Charms, don't you?

QUESTION: I am the Ahura Mazda Incarnate! Will


you bow before me, and become my loyal
followers? Return to me my SoulBlighter
Children....!
ASKED BY: Stormire
ANSWER 1: Err, I hate to be the one to break the news to you, but your children were all
killed in a horrible cattle-herding accident. Their dying cries were "thank God we'll be free
Stormire!"

QUESTION: The Inquisition is a Q&A type forum.


Here, you can ask questions to our panel,
and they will do their best to answer
them. Questions can range from "How do
I play a TCP/IP game?" to "Are dwarves
real?
ASKED BY: Dark§tar
ANSWER 1: LOL!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Too bad you're only about the 500th
person to repost the Inquisition sample text. Maybe it's time to buy some new joke books?

QUESTION: Forty Six and Two are just ahead of me


ASKED BY: Smeagol
ANSWER 1: I don't think anyone cares if you're going on 46 and still act like you're 2.

ANSWER 2: I'm not sure that Maynard will be too happy with you stealing his lyrics...

QUESTION: Drey
ASKED BY: whaaaaazaaaaap!!!
ANSWER 1: So whassup B?
Just watchin' the game, havin' a Bud.
True, true.
WHAAAZAP!
Whaaazaaap.
Yo, whozzat?
Hey, pick up the phone!
Hello?
WHAAAAAAASAP!
WHAAASAP!
Ehhhhhh!
Yo, where's Dookie?
Yo, Dook-hey!
Yo.
WHAAAZAP!!
Wuasssap.
Saaaaap!
Whazaaaaaap!
Ehh heheheh.
Hold on - hello?
WHAA-SAAAAAP!
Whazzzap!
Ahhhh!
Ehhhhh!
Ehhhhhh!
*click*
So whassup B?
Watchin' the game, havin' a Bud.
True, true.
QUESTION: what might a new unit dubbed the "TRO!
kridia" look like?
ASKED BY: MAXBLOW!
ANSWER 1: Probably rather similar to what a MYRK GIANT looks like.

QUESTION: I loathe you guys.


ASKED BY: Eretheo
ANSWER 1: I wonder if someone as slow-witted as yourself would even know the word
"loathe" if it wasn't one of the tools included with Myth 2?

QUESTION: If I rub the forums erotically, will all the


old SB.com forum dwellers return?
ESPESHULLY WOLVSBAIN!!
ASKED BY: Terzol
ANSWER 1: No, but if you look 'em up and rub the forum dwellers themselves, they just
might.
Start with Altima. I hear he likes it rough.

QUESTION: do conversions and plugins only work on


macs?
ASKED BY: Godsmack
ANSWER 1: Unfortunately, yes...and most will only run on older machines. Your best bet
is to sell whatever computer you have now, buy a G4, and tear out all the nifty new gadgets.
Go for the logic board first.

QUESTION: My eyes are itchy! What to do, oh mighty


inquisition?
ASKED BY: Time
ANSWER 1: Claw them out, works like a charm.
QUESTION: OMG u ther, or no?
ASKED BY: Sadam Hussein
ANSWER 1: mb mb not plz stup askin thx

QUESTION: Hey, I can't connect to SBHL, SamHL, or


CPHL, what's up with that?
ASKED BY: Loopuze
ANSWER 1: Everyone hates you. Including your parents.

Go to hell and DIE!!!

QUESTION: Does Rogaine work if I put it anywhere? I


mean, like, ANYWHERE.
ASKED BY: Erasmus
ANSWER 1: Um, no. Don't try it. I'm telling you from experience...

QUESTION: I love you guys.


ASKED BY: Loopuze
ANSWER 1: We love ya too, Loop. *sniff*

QUESTION: If a tree fell on Fred, and no one was


around... would Fred make a sound?
ASKED BY: Ned Hamfist
ANSWER 1: No, he would just pick up the tree and throw it at you, to see if you made
sound.
QUESTION: I notice a disturbing trend... the last Inq2
and Inq answers both started with 'Cuz...'
Does that mean u r a fewl?
ASKED BY: Terzol
ANSWER 1: No, I'm just lazy.

QUESTION: Fewlz. SB.com is not closed yet. Answer


our pleading questions. WHY IS TIME
GREEN?????
ASKED BY: Terzol
ANSWER 1: Cuz I was out of purple paint, so there.

QUESTION: Why is soulblighter.com shutting down


anyway? And, the one question I always
wanted to ask :1001101110001?
ASKED BY: DaDwarf
ANSWER 1: 011010100010101000001010 110101110101010001011110101010 -that a
good enough answer?

QUESTION: To hell with that! What will happen to


Fred? He isn't....loose, is he?
ASKED BY: Id
ANSWER 1: ..and heading toward your house at this very moment. MERRY
CHRISTMAS!!! muhahahahahaahahahah

QUESTION: Just what exactly is going to happen to


soulblighter.com?
ASKED BY: man of wisdom
ANSWER 1: We aren't quite sure yet...but I'm guessing that a flamethrower is going to be
involved.

QUESTION: WHAT can I do to keep sb.com alive?


*Loopuze digs around in his pockets...* .
Look, here's, er, two used condoms and
half a stick of gum, is that good
enough???
ASKED BY: Loopuze
ANSWER 1: Include a large wad of cash, and then we'll think about it.

ANSWER 2: But I'll take the condoms anyway...

QUESTION: Why do I always click "Message Boards"


as soon as I come here, even though
they're closed? Could it have to do with
my being a dumbass?
ASKED BY: Sam Stone
ANSWER 1: Well...I wasn't going to say it Sam, but yes, that's exactly what it is.

ANSWER 2: ...but don't worry, I do it too.


Eras

QUESTION: Can I ask other "legitimate" sites the


same stuff I can ask you?
ASKED BY: Id
ANSWER 1: Only if you want them to block your IP
QUESTION: Good bye sb.com (salutes). I am loyal
until the end.
ASKED BY: DaDwarf
ANSWER 1: Errm, is that a Good Thing or a Bad Thing?

QUESTION: But, where will I go if you close the doors


of Sb.com????
ASKED BY: Loopuze
ANSWER 1: How about one of those 24-hour convenience stores? I bet the clerks there
love to answer annoying questions.

QUESTION: Where do I send my Money to help


Support SB.com?? Please Don't Die!! We
NEED YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ASKED BY: aldur4
ANSWER 1: Send large boxes of US cash (no checks please!) to:

Soulblighter.com
c/o Gog

Your donation will be greatly appreciated and I pinky-promise that I won't spend it all on
beer like I did last time.... maybe.

QUESTION: I am saddened to hear about the closing of


my all time favorite Myth2 website. You
guys gave me a home when I was a
newbie,made me laugh when I was
down,and taught me TRO SPK! Im gonna
miss you guys!
ASKED BY: MajorGeo
ANSWER 1: I just can't bring myself to write a mean answer to this one. ::sniff, sniff::
We'll miss ya too, Geo!
Don't think it's over though.. ;)

QUESTION: Don't do it! Don't close SB.com! Yer the


best Miff site known to pig-kind! And
another thing, open the forums back up!
Arrr!!!
ASKED BY: Terzol
ANSWER 1: Horrible, isn't it? Sadly, I have no control over it. It is the powers that be's
choice...

QUESTION: I want to make a post on the message


board, but I can't find where to do
this(maybe its this old screen and crappy
server [aol]) and I forgot my password! I
can't use feedback without entering it!
help
ASKED BY: Welnire
ANSWER 1: Maybe reading the latest news post would help? *sigh*

QUESTION: what might a new unit dubbed the "TRO!


kridia" look like?
ASKED BY: MAXBLOW!
ANSWER 1: Probably rather similar to what a MYRK GIANT looks like.

QUESTION: If I rub the forums erotically, will all the


old SB.com forum dwellers return?
ESPESHULLY WOLVSBAIN!!
ASKED BY: Terzol
ANSWER 1: No, but if you look 'em up and rub the forum dwellers themselves, they just
might.
Start with Altima. I hear he likes it rough.
QUESTION: I am the Ahura Mazda Incarnate! Will
you bow before me, and become my loyal
followers? Return to me my SoulBlighter
Children....!
ASKED BY: Stormire
ANSWER 1: Err, I hate to be the one to break the news to you, but your children were all
killed in a horrible cattle-herding accident. Their dying cries were "thank God we'll be free
Stormire!"

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