13 Writing to describe: atmosphere

Assessment objectives IGCSE examination

AO2 Writing • Paper 1 Question 2
W1 Articulate experience and express what is thought, felt • Paper 3 Section 2
and imagined (Composition)
W3 Use a range of appropriate vocabulary • Component 4, Coursework Portfolio
(Assignment 2)

Differentiated learning outcomes Resources

• All students must be able to articulate an experience • Student Book:
and use descriptive techniques to engage a reader pp. 98–9
(Grade E/D). • Worksheets:
• Most students should appreciate and use techniques 3.13 Creating
suitable for creating a particular atmosphere such as atmosphere
imagery and sensory language (Grade D/C). • PPT: 3.13a–e
• Some students could use the conventions of writing to
describe with originality, creating atmosphere that is Other Student Book pages
memorable or evocative with vivid pictures for the • Vocabulary, pp.
reader (Grade B/A). 48–9
• Writing to
describe:
structure,
pp.100–3
• How to approach
descriptive and
narrative
assignments,
pp. 228–31

Exploring skills
Introduce creating atmosphere with the idea of transporting the reader to another
time, place and experience. Model the process using a visit to a famous place or
destination. An example focusing on Venice is given below and also on PPT 3.13a:
I arrived in Venice in the rain. The sky was grey but the buildings were a
rainbow of terracotta, blue, pink and gold. The water was turquoise, with a
blue/green hue I had only seen on films about the coral reef. It was quiet.
Quiet in a way that shocked. Thousands of people were rushing around, but
with no traffic all was a silent movie. I felt choked by the beauty staring at
me. The floating city took my heart and kept it.
Explore the features of the example text as a whole class – the sights, the sounds, the
emotive language, the personification. Students could be asked to sketch the scene or
Key writing skills
Chapter 3

make a collage using material from the internet. Explain that ensuring that descriptive
writing is in an appropriate style will make their writing stand out from the crowd.
Turn to Student Book p. 98 and read the opening text, which you could display as
PPT 3.13b. Give students two minutes to create a list of images that immediately
spring to the reader’s mind as they are transported to the seaside. Explain the key
term ‘connotations’ by focusing on the ideas brought to mind by ‘rotten hulks of
decaying dinghies’ – death, waste, discarded items left over from the past. Then ask
pairs to complete Q1 and Q2.

64 • Lesson 13 © HarperCollins Publishers 2013

 Building skills
Lead in to Q3 on Student Book p. 99 by reading through with students the Checklist
for success on the same page. Ensure that everyone understands what is meant by the
key terms used there: imagery, similes, metaphors and sensory language (recap using
the text explaining imagery on Student Book p. 49 if necessary).
Using PPT 3.13c, point out the use of imagery (red) and sensory language (blue).
Then ask students to work in groups of three to create their own additions to either
text for Q3.

Give extra support to less confident students by providing a skeleton writing structure:
• The children on the beach were so far away they looked like...
• The hotels were once grand I’m sure. They had seen
better days but now looked like...
Try to steer students away from creating images that jar with the overall description
such as The children on the beach were so far away they looked like particles of
dust in an old shed. Explain that the simile should link to the beach scene (...like
tiny seashells perched on the rocks) rather than bringing in the new setting of, for
example, an old shed.

Developing skills
Ask students to work in groups of three on Q4 evaluating the potential for each
phrase in the bulleted list of writer’s notes on Student Book p. 99. Give each phrase a
mark out of 5 and use these marks to decide which elements are most important and
could create a powerful overall atmosphere. Compare choices across the class.
You could use PPT 3.13d to annotate the positive and negative features of the
writer’s notes.
Ask students to continue working in groups of three for Q5 evaluating the success
of the two extracts (A and B). One student should read the first phrase of text A,
‘I gasped at the myriad colours of the spider...’, and then the other two students give
a mark out of 5 and a reason for the score. Ask students to complete the task
Worksheet 3.13 to keep notes.
Draw the class back together for feedback (you could display the extracts on
PPT 3.13e on the whiteboard). Use the bullet points for Q5 to question students about
the effectiveness of each phrase they have awarded 5/5 to.

Give extra challenge by asking students to use two more of the phrases from the
writer’s notes to inspire an eerie mood – for example: ‘ancient, ruined temple’ and
‘heavy rain which begins to fall’.

Applying skills
Prepare students for the independent writing task in Q6 by revisiting the Checklist
for success and the success criteria for Sound progress and Excellent progress on
Key writing skills
Chapter 3

Student Book p. 99. Share some ideas about how to create a remote setting and a
threatening mood. Then allow plenty of time for thinking, planning and drafting.

Towards Students can score highly in a task requiring descriptive writing if atmosphere is
A/A* created by pertinent language choices. Writers demonstrate their control of
atmosphere by choosing original and appropriate similes and metaphors embedded
within a descriptive paragraph, and by extending or revisiting them. Encourage high-
attainment students to take risks, but also to maintain and develop ideas throughout
a piece of writing.

© HarperCollins Publishers 2013 Lesson 13 • 65