Positive

Thinking is Not Enough

The No B.S. Guide to Changing Your Beliefs Using the Law
of Attraction
Text copyright ©Chris Tomasso 2015
All rights reserved
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Table of Contents
1 - Why Positive Thinking is Not Enough
2 - How The Law Of Attraction Works With Your Beliefs
How do you become aware of what you’re vibrating?
Your beliefs block your ability to attract what you want
When positive thinking is good
3 - What Vibration Are You Practicing?
4 - Where To Find These Limiting Beliefs
Where does this emotional glue come from?
Emotions aren’t your enemy
5 - How To Work With Your Beliefs Emotionally
Prepare to get emotional
Emotions aren’t something you think your way out of
Emotions have a tipping point
6 - The Art Of Belief Changing
An example
7 - Your Belief ChangingTools
Willingness
Imagination
Focus
8 - Changing Simple Beliefs
Exercise #1: Diagnose your vibration in regards to a subject
Exercise #2: Change a simple belief
9 - Changing Beliefs With Lots of Emotional Glue
How to release the emotions around a belief
Exercise #3: Dissolve the emotional glue around your beliefs
10 - Changing Those Really Stuck Beliefs
Exercise #4: Find and change the core belief
An example
11 - An Advanced Emotional Shifting Technique
Exercise #5: The good parent
When do you use this process?
12 - What To Expect After A Belief Has Been Changed
1-Why Positive Thinking is Not Enough
Have you ever heard the phrase, “Just think positive”? For a certain kind of
person, it’s almost like a commercial slogan such as, “Just do it” or, “Think
different.”
If you think about those for a second though, what does, “Just do it” mean? Just
do what? And, does it mean to, “just do it” instead of considering the
ramifications of “it” first? Or, is it the opposite of the concept of, “Look before
you leap?” On the other hand, is it saying to just do that thing instead of some
other way of approaching it? The point is that the phrase is vague and
intentionally so.
What about, “Think different”? Different than what? If you understand what this
phrase means, how exactly do you go about thinking different? Is thinking
different thinking the opposite of thinking like the norm? Is it thinking of
different strategies, or is it changing the structure of your thinking itself? All of
these questions are intentionally unanswered.
And yet, they are exciting phrases. The concept of just doing it makes you feel
like a power center of action and thinking differently conjures the idea of
thinking brilliantly outside the box. Yet, then again neither of these talk about
how to do what they suggest.
“Just think positive,” is a phrase similar to these two. It’s inherently compelling
but almost completely empty of useful direction. The phrase seems to exist in a
world where it’s possible to just not experience negativity at all. And you know
that’s not true. But even if it were, the phrase makes you inspired with no clear
direction of what exactly to do.
That’s because, “Just think positive,” is not a prescription or a set of instructions.
It’s often said with good intention and it’s possible for it to be exactly what you
need to hear at the time you hear it. This is because language requires a person to
make meaning from it, and everyone experiences language differently. So, it’s
possible that, “just think positive” can be helpful for a lot of people.
It can even form the basis for your philosophy of life complete with rosy-colored
glasses and unshakable faith in the inherent goodness of all things. That kind of
world view is wonderful.
But, if you’ve tried adopting that philosophy and found yourself wanting, then
this book is for you.
The biggest most obvious gap in this way of living is the question: What do you
do when thinking positive doesn’t solve the problems of your life?
Let’s say you have a friend you can’t stand being around, but you don’t have the
heart to make the necessary changes to get space from them. Does, “Just think
positive” mean that you should ignore all of your feelings about them and try to
look on the bright side? What usually happens from this kind of approach? You
end up resenting them even more.
Let’s say you’ve got bills coming in the mail and you don’t have enough money
to pay for them. What do you do? The phrase says to just think positive! So, you
start chanting affirmations that you don’t believe, because they don’t reflect your
reality. You try to ignore them but your debt and situation worsens. Finally, you
blow up at a collections caller one day because you just can’t take trying to have
those nice thoughts anymore!
What if you’ve got a dream that you really want to create, but you have no idea
how to do it? You keep hoping , but really you doubt that it will ever work for
you. Instead, you paper over how you really feel with false optimism.
Meanwhile, other people you know keep getting more and more of what they
want. Finally, you just give up on that dream.
“What’s their secret? I’m thinking positive dammit!”
It’s not your fault.
And it’s not the fault of someone who gave you the advice. Not everyone needs
the same tool. This book is for people who’ve tried to think positive but found
that they still can’t get what they want. This book will show you that there are
deeper things going on in your vibration. Your beliefs can be changed and you
can eventually think positive in an organic, truthful way to yourself.
I’ve found that thinking positive isn’t enough, but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t have
merit. Optimism is a healthy thing, but if you have things that you’ve wanted in
your life for a long time, you have limiting beliefs that simply thinking
positively aren’t going to dislodge.
Just thinking positively isn’t a comprehensive enough answer to getting the
things that you want. It’s as reductive as saying, “just make money” to someone
in a financial predicament or, “just get a date” for someone who is lonely and
looking for love. Ironically, the people who are already getting what they want
can just think positive a lot of the time, but that’s because they are aligned to
what they want already.
For the rest of us, there is a better way. But, we have to lay some groundwork
first.
2-How The Law Of Attraction Works With Your
Beliefs
I’ll spare you the long explanation of the law of attraction. I’ve covered it
extensively in other books. Instead I’m only going to explain what’s really
necessary to understand what’s holding you back. The law of attraction is what
governs whether or not you get what you want in your life. It responds to the
frequency or vibration that you put out at any given time and brings things to
you that match it. The only reason it doesn’t match exactly what you think you
want, is because your vibration is giving off something else.
But why would you ever practice the vibration of something you don’t want? It’s
simply because you’re not aware of what you’re really vibrating.
How do you become aware of what you’re vibrating?
You do this by coming to terms with how you really feel about something you
want. In other words, you have to really admit how you feel about something,
which is hard to do. And it’s why just thinking positively is not only not enough,
it’s unhelpful when you really try to uncover how you feel.
“The universe doesn’t hear what you say. It hears what you mean.” – Abraham
Hicks
The universe cannot be tricked. That’s because the universe is not a person who
interprets what you want. Instead, it’s more like a machine that responds to
exactly what you’re vibrating. The universe already knows what you want. You
simply have to line up with the frequency of that. It seems simple on paper,
but…
Words won’t change what you feel. Instead, words can only help you understand
and shift how you feel. You can shift how you feel by being willing to do the
inner work.
Your beliefs block your ability to attract what you
want
So why aren’t you getting what you want all the time?
Think of yourself like a magnet. In your natural state you attract everything that
you want to you that makes you truly happy. Everything. But, by the time you
come to the point where you’re making decisions in your life, you’ve
accumulated erroneous beliefs that stop you from attracting what you want as
easily or enjoyably as you want.
You gain all sorts of beliefs, like, “I have to work hard to make money” or
“There’s something broken about me” or, “Life is hard and it’s hard to get what I
want.” In the time that it took for you to become an adult (and in some cases an
adolescent) you accumulated thousands of beliefs like this. These are called
limiting beliefs.
A limiting belief boils down to, “I can’t have X without Y.” It literally creates a
limitation on what you want. These beliefs are like dirt or corrosion on your
magnet. If you don’t address them, your attraction power significantly decreases.
When that happens, it becomes much harder to bring the things you want into
your life in a way that’s easy and fun.
When you change these beliefs it’s like clearing the dirt from your magnet. You
start attracting what you want in your life (what matches your frequency)
automatically. Instead of trying to make what you want happen in your life
through action, you’ll congruently attract things into your life just by doing what
you feel inspired to do.
This is why you can’t just think positive to change the circumstances of your
life. If your beliefs are holding back your ability to project your vibration
clearly, then no amount of forcing yourself to think positive is going to clear
those beliefs. In fact, when you shift the beliefs that are blocking you the most,
you’ll start getting more of what you want in the most easy and fun ways for
you.
When you learn about anything, you filter it through your limiting beliefs. If you
learned about the law of attraction already, then you probably learned about it
through some kind of filter. That means you may intellectually get it, but be
unable to practice the pure vibration to get what you want.
When you understand this perspective about how LOA works, you’ll start doing
the right actions – those that clear your vibration and give you the most
vibrational leverage. You’ll focus for a time on inner work, the work of shifting
your vibrations and beliefs, and you’ll experience results in a more organic,
enjoyable way. Not only that, but the machine of reality will make sense to you
and you’ll know exactly what to do every time you have a new desire.
You’ll stop beating up on yourself for not trying hard enough or thinking you
missed an opportunity. You’ll realize the power that you truly have and how to
tap into it. And you’ll see that this is an ongoing journey, one where you’re
continually strengthening the power of your magnet by clearing the dirt off of it.
When positive thinking is good.
For all the shit I’ve been giving positive thinking in this book, it’s actually a
great thing to do. The problem occurs when you use it as a tool to fix the wrong
issue. Positive thinking won’t shift your vibration, unless your vibration is fairly
clean already. It will work for you if you’re already getting some level of
consistent success in the area that you want and you want to simply create more
ease and flow in that area. So, positive thinkers, keep doing what you’re doing.
But, do me a favor and investigate your limiting beliefs first.
It’s much more powerful to be positive, than to think positive.
What’s the difference? Thinking positive is a conscious action that you take in
order to try to reach a higher vibration. There’s nothing wrong with that. On the
other hand, being positive is what happens when you clear the dirt off of your
magnet. You already are a positive attracting force, capable of creating anything
you want. That sounds like a crazy statement, because you don’t know your own
power yet.
3-What Vibration Are You Practicing?
You tell what vibrations you’re practicing based on how you feel. Abraham-
Hicks calls this relationship between vibration and emotions your emotional
guidance system. You’re constantly getting feedback on what you’re focusing on
– and what you’re vibrating - in the form of emotions. When you feel good, it
means that you’re lined up with whatever you’re focused on. When you’re lined
up with it, it means that it – or something that represents how you feel about it –
is likely to manifest in your reality sooner than later.
When you feel bad, it means that you’re blocking the good feeling flow by either
not focusing on what you want , or because you’re focusing on what you want in
a way that’s limiting. That means that what you want can’t show up in your
reality.
Let’s get specific. Let’s say you want a job that you really love and you’re
unemployed. When you think about getting that job it makes you feel bad. You
think things like, “I don’t have enough experience for the job I really want” or,
“That kind of job doesn’t exist.” These aren’t necessarily beliefs, but they
sometimes are. Instead, in the exact same situation you could feel really good
and think things like, “There’s lots of things that I like to do that I can make
decent money at” or, “I don’t need the money today and things are always
working out for me.”
We’re not getting into the process yet. I’m just showing you how focusing on
what you want can make you feel good or bad. Do you see how your emotion
lets you know how you feel about what you want in regards to where you are?
Your emotion is an indicator of your vibration in regards to a subject. It never
lies. Therefore, how you feel about it now and how you will feel about it when it
manifests are the same. If you feel bad and you take action to create something,
you will not get what you want. This means that if you create a business because
you think you need to, then you will either not create the business at all or your
will and it will make you unhappy.
So, now that you know how you manifest things into your life, you might be
tempted to think, “Ok, I’ll just think positive.” No!!!! Like I said, if you’re
already a close match to what you want, this may work. But, if you have desires
that you’ve wanted for a long time and don’t seem to be any closer to getting
them, then just thinking positive won’t work. You’ll have to go after the beliefs
themselves.
4-Where To Find These Limiting Beliefs
Ok, so you’re ready to dive into your limiting beliefs. Before we move on, I just
want to let you know that this is not a physically taxing journey, but it can be
emotionally taxing. It’s ultimately illuminating, and the hard work is going to be
in the form of digging into yourself. Stay safe, and when you’re ready, let’s go a
bit further.
So the first problem is that you have so many beliefs. In fact any thought that
you’ve had more than once could constitute a belief. Which means there are
literally thousands of beliefs that you could hold. But, not all of these are
limiting you in your quest to get what you want right now, and most of them
aren’t the ones that are responsible for most of your frustration and pain.
How do you find out what beliefs are blocking you?
A limiting belief always comes in the form of “I can’t feel x without y.” An
example of this is, “I can’t feel loved without a partner,” or, “I can’t feel secure
without a job,” or, “I can’t feel confident while being at a certain weight.”
Knowing this narrows down the problem beliefs somewhat.
So, do you just read positivity books and go through changing these kinds of
beliefs one by one? Do you just keep doing a process of trial and error until you
get what you want? And when you find the belief, how do you change it?
If you’ve been into personal development or the law of attraction for a while,
you’ve probably tried talking yourself out of certain beliefs, only to experience
them coming back to haunt you. You might be able to believe a new
empowering belief for a time through scripting and affirmations, but eventually
the same frustrations in your life rear their head again and again.
The key is, you can’t change a belief on paper. You have to make change it
emotionally. Why?
Limiting beliefs are held in place by emotions. Specifically, repressed emotions
like fear, sadness, guilt, shame, or anger. We don’t generally want to explore or
test these beliefs, because of the emotion that is associated with them.
Emotions are like glue to these beliefs. When you find out what the belief is and
you try to talk your way out of it, unless you experience an emotional shift
(which you will feel), the glue holds that limiting belief in place.
Where does this emotional glue come from?
Emotions want to move. They are a natural flow of feeling that you experience.
But, when you believe “I can’t feel x without y” you block your own emotional
flow.
On top of that, many people have limiting beliefs regarding their emotions
themselves. One I had for a long time was, “It’s not ok to feel anger.” So,
whenever I felt angry I would try to repress it. These kinds of beliefs cause you
to stuff all of these emotions. When you stuff these emotions, they harden into
glue and attach to the beliefs that they hold in place. So, when you try to change
your beliefs, you often have to shift the corresponding emotion.
Since those emotions will have been chronically repressed, you’ll have to let
them out. Letting them out means feeling them.
Emotions aren’t your enemy
Even though they can feel wretched sometimes, emotions aren’t the bad guy. In
fact, they are very helpful indicators of the corresponding limiting belief.
So the first beliefs you’ll need to change in order to do this work is any
regarding feeling those emotions fully in the first place. If you’re not
comfortable with feeling depression, sadness, shame, guilt, anger, fear, or
frustration, then you will have great difficulty changing these beliefs.
It’s ok to feel these feelings. You may think that you can’t feel them because if
you do, you’ll always feel that way.
This is how I felt when I was depressed. I was clinically depressed for 10 years
of my life. I didn’t feel like doing much of anything. I didn’t feel passionate
about much. I would cry pretty often. I would sleep a lot. But, I was a functional
depressive. I had a job. I had friends. They couldn’t see what was happening
underneath my normal actions, so no one understood what I was going through. I
just started thinking that this lack of energy was ok. I started identifying with it.
Now that you know more about emotion, can you see how my energy was stuck?
Recently I saw a life coach who asked me what I thought depression was. I
replied, “It’s fixation on something that doesn’t serve me.” She said, “No, it’s
actually repressed emotion, specifically anger.” Repressed anger? Wait, didn’t I
have a belief about that?
So instead of letting the anger out, I manifested depression. I did this in part,
because keeping a lid on my emotions is what’s considered manly. Men are
taught not to identify with their emotions and be as logical and calm as possible
at all times. No matter your gender, if you express your emotions fully, you can
be seen as emotional which often means unstable. In this way, society pressures
us not to stay in touch with our emotions.
Yet, experiencing your emotions fully is exactly what sets you free from your
own limiting beliefs and their accompanying emotional glue. When you change
your beliefs by letting your emotions out without judgement, you take back the
power of your attraction capabilities.
5-How To Work With Your Beliefs Emotionally
While there is a process you can employ to release the emotional blocks to your
beliefs, the reason your blocks exist in the first place aren’t logical. This concept
trips a lot of people up, especially those that want to figure everything out. If you
like to get to the bottom of every problem, then you tend to be in your head a lot.
Emotions not being logical may seem to make sense to you, but once you start
working with your own emotions, you’re going to want to play armchair
psychologist and categorize them. It’s not your fault and it’s not a failing. We all
want to make sense of the chaos of our lives, and emotions can be a poster child
for internal chaos. So, instead of trying not to make meaning out of your
emotions, recognize your desire to make meaning in the first place. Validate the
desire but don’t become attached to figuring out the answer.
Emotions have their own internal logic. They are like messengers. When you
feel pain, that pain is an electronic message sent from your nerves to your brain.
Your emotions are like your vibrational nerves. They send a message to you .
The content of the message is the emotion itself. Therefore, it must be felt in
order to be released. This is the only logic that is consistent throughout all
emotions.
Since they have their own internal logic, when you try to impose another mental
framework on them, you actually cause the emotion to go away. Trying to
project a meaning onto them may bring you clarity, but it can just as easily bring
confusion. Emotions are simply there to be experienced.
Drawing conclusions (or figuring it out) is a way your brain tries to stop the
emotion. Instead, when you recognize and simply allow yourself to make the
intellectual leaps that you will, you will dissolve your attachment to them over
time. But the goal, no matter what, is to feel the emotions that you feel.
The message of your emotions is about the relationship to what you want. If
you’re moving towards more empowerment, the messages will feel better and
better over time. If you’re moving towards disempowerment, then the messages
will feel worse all the time. They are quite literally, guiding you.
Prepare to get emotional
Kinda obvious, right? Getting emotional means that you are going to feel good
and bad; sometimes in rapid succession. When you release your emotions around
a belief in an effort to dissolve the glue, you will likely feel negative emotion.
Just because you feel negative emotions, it doesn’t mean that everything is
getting worse or you are getting farther away from what you want. When you
acutely feel any emotion, it means that you are actually getting closer to what
you want. This is because emotions that are felt acutely are in the process of
moving. In the beginning, you may feel each emotion for a while – days or
weeks – but eventually you’ll get to the point where you will cycle through them
rather quickly. If you start this process and feel intense negative emotion more
often, it’s not getting worse – in fact you are releasing a lot of limiting energy.
If you’ve grown up in the western world and gained a bunch of limiting beliefs,
then your process may feel like a cleanse. Do you know what it’s like to go on a
rigid diet or cleanse? Your body builds up a ton of toxins over time, and, during
a cleanse, they are released. Melody Fletcher, author of the fantastic book
Deliberate Receiving, calls it emotional poop.
During a cleanse you often feel terrible. To illustrate what I mean, I’ll share a
cleansing time with you. I went on a ketogenic diet for 3 weeks this year. A
ketogenic diet’s goal is to put your body in a state of ketosis. This is when your
body switches from using glucose to ketones as fuel. Practically speaking it
means that you cut out sugar entirely and you drastically limit the carbs you
intake into just the carbs that are in leafy green vegetables. But, to keep from
starving, you eat moderate protein and lots of good fat - the kind found in
coconut oil, bacon, and fish.
The results were great. During the diet, I didn’t have any more blood sugar
crashes, I was able to go 8-10 hours without eating, and I found that I wouldn’t
get tired in the middle of the day like I usually did. In addition I lost between 10
and 15 lbs of body fat. I was cut and able to see my six pack for the first time. It
was a wonderful experiment.
But it didn’t always feel great. Especially the first few days of transitioning to
the diet, I had headaches, I felt both chronically hungry and full, and I had
massive sugar cravings. I had what some called the keto flu, which are flu-like
symptoms that you experience when you go into ketosis. Similar things have
happened to my friends when they went on juice cleanses or bone broth fasts.
Your body purifies itself, but not before giving you hell.
When you invite your emotions to express themselves purely – the way you did
when you were a toddler - you become a healthier, more vibrationally attractive
person. But you also release all the limiting buildup you’ve had until now.
If you don’t like to make waves, you’re the kind of person who probably doesn’t
want to push your emotions out onto others. Or maybe you’re a bit passive-
aggressive, and just have anger outbursts. I’ve done and seen every kind of
emotional manipulation and tried every way to avoid feeling emotions. When I
started doing this work, it could be unsettling. I would feel depressed for days on
end, followed by sharp and extreme anger. But, that was all followed by abiding
feelings of well-being. This was my process of letting my vibration heal itself.
The negative emotions that you’ve kept inside for so long aren’t going to be
pretty when they come out. But you’re doing this work because you want to be
healthy and you want your vibration to be magnetic. So you have to go through
your emotional flu. What that looks like for you will be different, but expect to
have mood swings or have your friends and family diagnose you with bipolar
disorder (just kidding.)
But, do expect to feel weird. Expect to get emotional for seemingly no reason.
You’ll start feeling feelings that don’t pertain to what’s happening to you. You
may have a pretty happy life and you may feel great about it most of the time,
and the smallest thing may set you off. Do not demonize yourself or your
feelings. To the best of your ability, prepare the people you care about for this
change in your state. For the most part, they won’t be feeling what you’re feeling
so you don’t have to worry as much as you think you might.
But, it’s good to give them a heads up, especially if you share a lot of space with
them. I let my girlfriend know now if I need to go to the car and have an anger
release. I let her know that what I’m feeling is not about her and that I just need
to express it. It’s good to be emotional alone, since you’ll feel freer to express
how you’re really feeling.
Emotions aren’t something you think your way out of
Emotions aren’t logical, which means you can’t logic your way out of them. If
you don’t have a healthy relationship to your emotions, then you probably found
some logical way of mitigating or suppressing them in the past. That’s because
in everyday life, emotions seem to just get in the way of our affairs. Have you
ever wanted to go out with friends, but you just weren’t feeling it? If you tried to
explain why, what if you didn’t have a reason? At the time, your emotions were
trying to tell you something.
It’s nice to believe in the fantasy that we are all robots who do and think
everything they want exactly consistently and nothing is ever messy. That’s why
I love the process of planning things. On paper, everything seems so clear. But,
you can’t plan or think your way out of emotions. The only way they move
through you is if you surrender to them, feel them, and express them.
The only way you can think your way out, is to consciously decide to stop
thinking your way out. Instead, start just feeling how your emotions feel in your
body and let them express themselves. I promise that you won’t be a slave to
your emotions, but in the beginning of this work you may have to plan for
sudden or out of the blue setbacks related to your emotional life. It’s all good,
because we’re working with the universe, which never loses track of what you
want or how to give it to you. So the setback that you may be feeling is actually
an opportunity to shift your energy, to release some of those emotions, and to
tune back into your abundant well-being.
Emotions have a tipping point
Do you always have to go through a total emotional flood every time you feel
something? No. This brings up what I call the emotional tipping point. There is a
point of no return when you’re going to feel something whether you like it or
not. It’s likely a lot sooner than you think, since emotions start out subtly and
then build in intensity over time.
While you’re not feeling any particular way that you’re consciously aware of,
you still have time to use positive thinking or any other of your favorite
techniques to maintain a good mood. But, once your emotions have a certain
momentum, it’s best to simply surrender to them. Most people assume that
emotions are logical, and so they mistakenly try to get into a positive mindset
when they are incredibly close to expressing a completely different emotion like
anger. This never works, but it’s much easier to see that as an outside observer.
As you start to value your emotions and do this work, you’ll also become much
more honest and accurate of your assessment of whether or not you’ve hit your
emotional tipping point.
Once you’ve hit your tipping point, the best thing to do is to ride it out. When
riding out, you just want to feel the emotion without judgement to the best of
your ability. If you’re new to this work, you may have the feeling of, “Argh why
am I feeling these stupid emotions? They are getting in the way of everything!”
This, in itself is an emotion, and will move through just as the others will. Just
recognize that emotions can feel weird. And they will feel weird as they move
through you.
6-The Art Of Belief Changing
If you’ve done this kind of work in the past, you’ve probably already tried to
change your beliefs. After all, it makes sense right? If you don’t believe you can
have what you want, how could you possibly get it? You might think, “I just
need to get the thing I want and then I can believe that I can have it.” But that’s
not how the universe works. Believe me, it’s profoundly frustrating to come to
this realization, but the sooner you really get this, the quicker you can actually
change what you believe.
In other words, you have to believe it to see it.
The cool part is that beliefs are not set in stone, no matter what you may think.
But, you have to be willing to believe that you can change your beliefs before
you can. That’s where your emotions come in. Emotions are the glue that hold
your beliefs together. Therefore, when you try to change a belief without shifting
the corresponding emotion, you remain stuck. It’s actually that simple.
An example
Let’s say you have a belief which you’re unaware that you have to put
everyone’s needs in front of your own. If you became aware of that belief, then
you could simply try to think statements that contradict it. But, what if you
gained this belief at some point in your past because you were afraid of the
repercussions of not believing it? This belief would have actually served you. In
fact, all beliefs serve you in that they protect you from perceived pain or
negative emotions. For this reason, all the beliefs you’ve adopted were at one
time a good thing.
So, when you try to take action that goes against that belief, you feel the
negative emotion that holds it in place slamming you in the face. In this case the
emotion might be guilt or shame. After feeling this, you might connect a thought
to that emotion and think, “Well I can’t do that thing for myself, because
otherwise people will think bad of me and I don’t want that.”
The emotions that keep beliefs glued in place are the kind that you generally
want to avoid. You don’t want to feel afraid, or ashamed, or embarrassed, or
guilty, or angry, or depressed. So, these emotions are what make these beliefs
invisible to you. And when you try to talk yourself out of them or take action
that contradicts them, the emotional glue will stop you. If you don’t allow the
emotion to move through you, you’ll never be able to change the belief.
7-Your Belief ChangingTools
You can learn to expose your limiting beliefs and change them with a few simple
tools. No, you don’t have to make a trip to the hardware store. Yes, anyone has
access to these tools. But, you can’t get there directly because your beliefs are
squirrelly and don’t necessarily want to be found. Here is what you’ll need in
your toolkit.
Willingness
You need to be willing to:
1. Do the work. This work seems a little weird and isn’t terribly action-
oriented. You need to be willing to give it a try and see if it works.
Come from a mindset of play and experimentation if you can.
2. Value your emotions without judgment. This is easier said than
done. Especially when you learn about the law of attraction and how
emotions play into it, you may think you need to imprison certain
emotions and only focus on others. That kind of thinking is what
actually got you stuck. So you need to try to value all the emotions
you feel without judgment.
3. Believe that you can change your beliefs. If you’re mired in a
victim mentality or you think nothing ever works for you, then that
belief will be more powerful than this process. But, if you just believe
a little bit in the power of changing your beliefs, you may see
immediate results in your overall well-being as well as the actions
you take.
Imagination
Just like you did when you were a kid, you need to be able to use your
imagination. You need to be able to imagine things that may have not happened
for you yet. Most people instead hold their positive emotions hostage by
believing that they can’t feel them without something external happening. If the
new job, or the sexy lover, or the dream vacation doesn’t appear, you can’t feel
good.
But even (and especially) if what you want hasn’t shown up yet, you need to be
willing to imagine feelings that will result from that thing you want. By letting
your imagination roam free, you’ll be able to access the feelings you want more
and more easily.
Focus
This is your ability to stay on a certain subject. This will be more important the
more you start to get into beliefs that activate emotions that you’d rather not
experience. Like a boat that you sail through rough water, you need to be able to
stay on track and move through the rocky waves of your liberated emotions.
With those in hand, let’s move on to the nitty gritty.
8-Changing Simple Beliefs
One insidious thing about limiting beliefs is that they are often invisible. So, you
can’t walk up to them directly. You’ll have to engage in a process that reveals
them to you. Luckily, there’s one you already probably know.
This is going to sound like every LOA book you’ve ever read to start. But our
goal is to get you into your manifesting process, and then to go inside it to find
where you’re stuck. It’s like getting your engine running and listening for the
ticks and metallic noises that tell you what needs to be tuned up. We’re going to
help you do a manifesting diagnostic.
Let’s start super simple. If you’ve been hiding under a rock, the most basic law
of attraction process is:
1. You decide you want something.
2. You focus on the feeling of having that thing.
3. It comes to you.
You’re probably thinking, “Argh, step 3 is never what happens!” Now you know
it’s because the block is happening between step 2 and 3.
Exercise #1: Diagnose your vibration in regards to a
subject
So, sit down where you usually do your manifesting. You can sit back in your
chair from your computer and focus on something you want. Set a timer and do
this for 2 minutes. After the 2 minutes is up, answer the following questions. Be
as truthful as you can.

1. How did it feel to focus on that thing you wanted?

2. Did you feel like you already have it? (Probably not, but bear with
me)

3. Did you feel some apprehension to it? Did you feel like, “This is
lame?” Or “It’s crazy to want something this huge” or, “Other people
have that but I can’t.”

4. To the best of your ability, what felt bad about it? What do you think
is currently blocking you from having that thing?
Exercise #2: Change a simple belief
This is best if you record it into your phone or write it out. First, here is the quick
and dirty process to change a belief:
1. Imagine a piece of data that conflicts with your belief.
2. Be willing to believe in the possibility of another, more empowering
belief (which is often the opposite of the old belief).
3. Imagine the feeling of this new, better belief.
4. Focus on the feeling of this new, better belief, not about how you can
make it come about.
5. Search your memories or the experience of people around you to see
if you can find evidence of this new belief.
6. Affirm this new belief, by asking yourself if you can believe it.
For beliefs without a lot of emotion tied to them, this may be all you need. And
really, you don’t need to make this any harder than it is. Try this process on the
belief that is blocking you. Let’s go through this process together. Let’s say the
belief you have is:
“I have no idea how to get what I want.” Get out your writing or recording
implements and follow along. Each step will show the process and then give an
example of a question to ask yourself. Then, before you move on, make sure to
answer each question.
1. Imagine a piece of evidence that conflicts with your belief.
Example: “So, everyone who ever got what they wanted had to know
exactly how to get it?”
Now answer that as honestly as you can. You might say something like,
“Well, no. There are plenty of stories of heroes of mine who didn’t have
everything figured out and still got what they wanted. When we’re
children we don’t know how to get things and we still get them. In fact,
there was this time that I got that thing I wanted without knowing how to
do it. It just happened.”

As you do this, you’ll find yourself opening up to the idea that other more
empowering beliefs on this subject can exist.

2. Be willing to believe in the possibility of another belief. Example,
“Can you believe in the possibility of the feeling of knowing how to
 get what you want?” A simple yes will suffice to this question,
because you are simply declaring your willingness to try.
3. Imagine the feeling of this new, better belief. Example, “Can you
imagine the feeling of knowing how to get what you want easily and
in a fun way?” Again, a simple yes will work here. You are simply
expressing your willingness more specifically.
4. Focus on the feeling of this new, better belief, not about how you
can make it come about. Example, “Imagine this feeling. What’s so
great about it?” The key here is to describe the feeling and if you
want, describe how it feels to have what you want. What, specifically
is so awesome about this new belief? You could say something like,
“I love how easy it is that this thing I want comes into my life. I love
how it just shows up as I’m doing my thing and living my life to the
fullest. I love having this thing and the joy and fun it brings me.” If
it’s a car, maybe you love the smoothness of the ride and how it feels
to have the comfort, the luxury, etc. Different wants will illicit
different feelings in you. Everyone wants things for different reasons,
so be sure to be as specific to the emotions as you can. Do not think
about how to get it. Although if you find yourself thinking about it
again and again, you might try this process again with that more
specific belief. More on that in a second.
5. Search your memories or the experience of people around you to
see if you can find evidence of this new belief. Example, “Do you
know of anyone who’s experienced this?” Don’t search hard. Let the
answers come to you. You will be heavily activating the law of
attraction at this point through your focus, so just write down what
comes to mind. You’ll write answers like, “Yeah, my friend had this
thing and he really experienced that joy. I read about people on the
internet who have this thing I want and they seem really happy with
it.” The goal is to simply convince yourself with real world examples
that this kind of belief is something you could adopt. But, you have to
feel it. You need to feel like the possibility is actually opening up a
little bit. You should feel some kind of shift happening. Maybe
getting the thing you want feels a little bit more possible now. You
still don’t have to know how.
6. Affirm this new belief, by asking yourself if you can believe it. “So,
do you think you could get that thing you want?” This will seem
 similar to affirmations that other teachers of LOA use. But, since
you’ve actually done the emotional work of changing your belief, you
will actually feel really in line with what you want. You may write
something like, “Yeah. It does seem possible. If other people can do
it, then so can I. I’ve accomplished other things before, and this is just
another thing to learn.” You might even feel yourself writing, “I’m
excited to jump into this. I’m going to figure this out.” These are all
examples of shifted energy. When you shift your energy, you’ll start
feeling a little bit different or possibly a lot different about the
likelihood of achieving what you want.
If you don’t feel like energy was shifted, then you probably have other
supporting beliefs that are linked with this. If you do have more supporting
beliefs, you’ll have to do the process over and over with those beliefs.
For example, let’s say you do this process and you don’t feel like you can get
what you want because you actually believe, “I’m not smart enough to learn
what I need to in order to get that thing.” You’ll want to start over again at step 1
with, “So, everyone who’s ever gotten this thing is smarter than you?” And then
you’re off to the races.
Over your life, you’ve accumulated literally thousands of these beliefs and they
are held together in a network in your brain and reflected in your vibration. As
you work on some, you’ll need to work on others. This is a fairly simple process,
and you’ll find that you can start changing some beliefs pretty quickly. Once you
do, you won’t need to do any other action to prove it. Simply shifting the energy
will be enough, since you’re already manifesting all the time.
How do you check if it worked?
Try to focus simply on having what you want again (the simple three step
process in Exercise 1 in this chapter). Do the same contradictory beliefs come
up? If they don’t, you’ll find it easier to focus on the pure feeling of having what
you want. You’ll probably have other beliefs around it as well, but you’ll simply
use the law of attraction to bring to you the next belief to be shifted.
But after a few rounds of this, if you’re still having trouble, you’ll need to have a
more in depth process.
9-Changing Beliefs With Lots of Emotional Glue
Beliefs are held together in a network of emotions and other beliefs. So, like a
network of weeds in a garden, a supporting belief might have a core belief that
props it up (or holds it in the ground in the garden metaphor). If you try to shift
the non-core belief, you might not get very far. The core belief is just the
original belief that caused all the other beliefs to be added on over time.
How are core beliefs formed?
Here’s an example: If you believe that you other people’s needs come first, you
might then adopt other supporting beliefs such as, “Other people are more
important,” “What I want isn’t as important,” or, “I can’t get what I want
because if other people want the same thing, I don’t want to fight them for it.”
Do you see how these beliefs stack up on each other?
Core beliefs are often invisible because they are obscured by these other more
noticeable beliefs. Non-core beliefs tend to be more visible to you. Often times,
when you’re trying to shift a core belief, you’ll have to start with beliefs that are
visible and work your way down. Let’s use a fun metaphor.
Have you seen the science fiction film Inception starring Leonardo Dicaprio? In
the film, the heroes are dream thieves who need to perform inception (imagine
that), which is when you go deep into someone’s dreams in order to shift a belief
they have about themselves. In the film, the team goes into the dreams of the son
of a wealthy and powerful businessman in an attempt to get the son to change his
mind about taking on the father’s business after he dies. As they work out how
they will go about changing this belief (i.e. the planning process), they say that
the belief in question needs to be simple, but the changing of it will domino out
into the actions the son takes in the world.
In the beginning of the film, the businessman’s son is ready to take on the family
business even though he believes that his father doesn’t love him.
So, when they get deep into the businessman’s sons mind, they change his mind
to believe that his father always loved him and that his father wanted him to be
his own man. This causes the son to realize organically that he doesn’t want to
take over his father’s business. Instead, he wants to be his own man and do what
he really wants to do with his life.
The dream thieves physically change the belief by going into a dream within a
dream – which is a visualization of the son’s deepest beliefs. This visualization
is a safe in a room in a fortress. They get into the fortress and the find that the
safe is empty. The empty safe shows that the son feels unloved by his father. To
change the belief, the heroes put the son’s favorite childhood toy into the safe.
Then, when they come out of the son’s dream, he believes that his father does
love him, and believes that the father wants what’s best for the son, not for the
father’s business.
This is actually remarkably similar to how deep belief changing works in your
life. This is because your beliefs are represented symbolically in your psyche via
these kinds of visualizations. Your beliefs are often not born of any terrible
trauma. They are simply held in place by some unexpressed emotion which was
caused by a random event in your life. In fact, most of the time, the beliefs that
are holding you back in one area of your life are caused by some emotional glue
that is related to a different memory-based belief.
That’s why, when you go belief hunting, you need to use the power of the law of
attraction. If you try to figure out the beliefs that block you on paper, you will be
wrong. Repeat after me. Beliefs are not logical. Emotions are not logical. You
can’t think your way out of this. But you can manifest your way out of this.
Because, the law of attraction doesn’t lie.
How to release the emotions around a belief
Since emotions are the glue that holds beliefs together, you’ll have to dissolve
the glue first before you can change the belief itself. You do this by releasing the
emotions around that belief.
If you’re familiar with the law of attraction, you’ll know that when you focus on
a feeling, that feeling expands into thoughts, synchronicities, and eventually full
blown manifestations that match that feeling. But, usually you don’t simply
focus on a feeling, you focus on a desire which brings you a feeling.
If you want to have a great night out, you don’t usually focus on feeling excited.
Instead, you focus on having a great night out that you’re excited about. It’s a
subtle difference. If you keep yourself focused on excitement about that great
night out, you’ll bring to mind thoughts, memories, and ideas that match that
feeling. You’ll think of more things you’re excited about in life or times that you
were excited in the past. This process is how we’re going to root out those
beliefs that are more stuck.So, get excited
Exercise #3: Dissolve the emotional glue around your
beliefs
You’re in the middle of the process of changing your beliefs, but you can’t seem
to shift the energy. No matter how many times you do it, you feel like you’re
hitting a wall of psychic resistance. No problem. What you’re going to do to
shift the energy is actually focus on the negative feeling that you can’t shift
directly.
Whatever it is – anger, blahness, guilt, anxiety, sadness -that negative feeling is a
center of power that’s blocking you from what you want. But, it’s also complex
and isn’t going away until you dissolve the emotional glue that holds it in place.
The only way to do that is to actually make that negative feeling bigger. To do
that, you’ll focus directly on the feeling.
As you focus on the feeling, more thoughts, ideas, and memories will come to
you that represent that feeling. If you feel really angry, you’ll think of more and
more things that make you angry. If you feel depressed, you’ll think of more and
more things that make you feel depressed. If you feel frustrated…you get the
idea. Even though this will feel uncomfortable, it’s a good sign!
If you keep thinking of new things that remind you of your current emotion, it
means that you are actually letting that emotion happen. Many of these things
that you think of may feel unresolved or may still be poignant to you. If they do,
do not try to solve the problem or mitigate, justify, rationalize, or otherwise think
your way out of them. The urge to do so will be strong, but if you do, you’ll
simply distance yourself from the emotion and be back where you started.
Instead, focus on the emotions themselves. This may seem like a rather vague
suggestion, but if you’re having trouble, focus on how you feel in your body.
Is your pulse quickening?
Are you short of breath?
Is your heart beating?
Does your stomach ache or feel empty?
Do you feel lightheaded?
Moment to moment, is the feeling in your body staying the same or changing?
By focusing on the physical symptoms of your emotions, you let the emotions be
and you take the focus off of trying to fix, change, or make anything disappear.
Eventually, the emotion will intensify. You may find yourself getting angry,
growing upset, wanting to cry, or feeling oddly bereft. These are all signs that
you’re letting the emotions go on their natural path. Though it may not feel this
way, you’re letting the emotion out and letting your vibration move upwards. Do
whatever you need to do to stay with it. Don’t worry about wallowing in
negativity.
If you can, do this alone or with a coach specifically trained for this work. That
way you won’t have to deal with the discomfort of expressing intimate emotions
around people. You want to give yourself permission to really let them out
without judgement. There are no wrong answers in emotions. You may feel like
you can’t bear it, but your emotions are constantly changing – like waves in the
ocean. You will move through them and they will move through you.
I’ve said this already, but don’t try to find the origin of the emotion. Your job
right now is not to be Freud. You aren’t here to fix your childhood. You’re here
to let your emotions out however they will. Focus on directing them outward.
Don’t try to take responsibility for what’s causing your emotions. This will all
stem their flow. Don’t try to figure out where they came from and how to not
experience them. Just let them be. Just recognize that you’ll need to just let them
be with you for a little bit and that they will eventually go.
If you’re alone and you need to write or talk, just do it. Say whatever you need
to say to express how you feel right now. Let yourself say it. Let yourself be as
emotional as you need to be. Give yourself permission to express the raw
feelings that you have to say. If you’re angry, curse and shout. If you’re
depressed, write about how the world is a horrible place and nothing you do
matters. Everything you do and feel is a temporary expression of the emotions
you’re experiencing. Don’t worry about making any lifelong plans right now.
This can feel a bit dissociative. You may think that the emotions are not you and
that they are afflicting you like a sickness. It’s actually ok to do this, since your
goal is to let them express themselves and not judge yourself. Your goal is to just
be with them.
Eventually, the intense emotion that you’re experiencing will subside. You’ll
probably be tired, depending on how intense your emotional outlet was. I’ve
done this where I’ve sat down and cried, or been so angry that I yelled for 10
minutes in my car. I’ve laid around for days without a feeling like I had a
purpose in my life. I’ve been ashamed, embarrassed, resentful, jealous, and in
despair. But, when I really feel these things, they leave me, and I’m replaced by
a feeling of nothingness.
The feeling of nothingness is actually really wonderful. It means that the
unexpressed emotions have left you. You may feel tired, or unwanting to think
or do anything. But if you expressed these repressed emotions, something has
shifted in you. And you will feel the change in the time to come.
In the next few days, you might find yourself just feeling good for no reason.
You might find yourself having novel thoughts about subjects or seeing things in
a new way. You might go easier on yourself, or find it easier to not give into
anxious thoughts. This is all a sign that energy has shifted. When your energy
has shifted and repressed energy has been expressed, you raise your vibration.
You make it easier to attract anything you want naturally with the magnet that is
you.
If you go back to the process of changing that belief or the beliefs that surround
and support it, you may find that it becomes easier now. It may not seem like as
big of a deal to you anymore. You may feel more relaxed or at ease. These are
all signs that your manifestations are more likely to come about. They are
coming to you. You’ve shifted your energy and lined up with them.
But, what happens when, even when you’ve expressed the emotion around
something, you still can’t change the belief?
10- How to Change Those Really Stuck Beliefs
Try as you might, you can’t get the energy to budge. That’s ok. It means that
there is some reconciliation that needs to happen. You’ll need to be brave and
journey into the parts of yourself that are completely hidden.
Exercise #4: Find and change the core belief
You’ll want to start like usual until you get to the part where you can’t focus on
what you want.
Now, stay with the feeling. At this point it won’t necessarily be as intense as
before. If you’ve expressed the emotion related to it, you’ll find that you don’t
feel as intensely about it, even if you can’t quite shake the feeling. Like before,
don’t try to walk away. Instead, get curious about the feeling. Think to yourself,
“What’s here? What else reminds me of this feeling?”
Inevitably, you will attract to you thoughts, ideas, and memories that match the
vibration that you’re at. You will attract these and experience them. They may
not make sense to you, because emotions aren’t logical, but these thoughts and
ideas will feel similar.
If you’re worried about debt and you can’t shift that to a belief in abundance,
you might think of times in which you were worried about your car breaking
down, or worried that you might have done something wrong in your group of
friends. You might remember the time that your pet ran away or when you got a
bad grade on a test and were worried about what that might mean. These are all
different circumstances, but they share a similar vibration in common.
Stay with the feeling while taking note of any new insights that come up for you.
It’s often insightful just to see this pattern expressing itself over and over in the
manifestations of your life. This can begin to bring you a feeling of clarity.
Check in with yourself and see if you feel the emotions shifting. If not, it’s ok.
Don’t try to push it. Instead, wait until you remember something that you
haven’t thought about in a long time. Usually these are memories that form the
strongest part of the glue of the belief. If you’re scared of uncovering a past
trauma, know that the law of attraction will never bring you too much to
handle. In fact, most of the time it’s a relatively innocuous event that forms the
basis for a belief that you hold fast to.
Now, you’re going to be your own dream thief and incept yourself. To do this,
recall the events of this memory as vividly as you can. Remember the feeling
and the events, people, and things that triggered those feelings. Now, have you
ever had the thought, “If only I knew what I know now then, I’d be in such a
better place?” You’re going to apply the wisdom of now to the person you were
then, and use it to shift the feeling. If you’ve used it before, this is similar to an
NLP technique. You’re reaching deep into the glue to shift your belief.
Again, it helps immensely to write out or speak this process as its happening.
An example
Imagine that you remember the first time that you felt like you were being
inappropriate, even if you weren’t. You remember feeling that way. You wanted
to go to the mall, but your mother seemed like she was in a bad mood. You
wanted it, but you didn’t want to bother her. But she was perceptive, so she
asked, “What is it?” Then you started feeling inappropriate. You started tensing
up. And you weakly said, “I want to go to the mall.”
“We’re not going to the mall,” she says. And you feel your heart drop. You feel
terrible for even wanting it in the first place.
So that’s the memory. It may have gone on to attract other beliefs like, “It’s not
ok for me to have what I want if it bothers someone else,” or even something as
general as, “I can’t have what I want.” Yes, the emotions and beliefs associated
with a memory this innocuous can severely limit you.
So you’re in your memory. Ask yourself. “Knowing what you know now, what
would you compassionately say or do to yourself then to shift how you feel?”
Here’s what I would do, but it may be different for you:
Say to yourself, “It’s ok to feel this way. Everyone feels inappropriate
sometimes. You are fine just as you are, and you can always get what you want.”
If you can, I’d visualize yourself smiling and recognizing that you could go to
the mall. This isn’t about fixing the past. Instead it’s about manipulating the
symbols you’ve created in your mind in order to reach an emotional result. This
is like in Inception when the thieves put the childhood toy into the empty safe.
If you want, tell your mother to feel better, and then maybe offer to go to the
mall another time. If you want say, “I can tell you’re in a bad mood mom, but I
want to go the mall. I’m just letting you know, and you can let me know when
you’d be willing to do that.”
Anything that makes you feel better will work. Don’t worry if you feel angry
and just want to tell her off. Don’t worry if you just want to walk out of the room
and go read for a while. The goal is to take agency with these symbols, and tell
the story that makes you feel the most empowered. You can always go back later
and write it even better.
When you feel done, you can stop changing the scene in your mind. To see if the
emotional shift worked, try thinking about the other thoughts and memories that
led to this one. They should have less of an emotional charge.
Then, when you’re ready, return back to the original simple belief shifting
exercise, and try to focus on the feeling of what you want. In this case, you
might want to feel like your desires matter, you might want to feel empowered to
do whatever you want, to feel free, to feel like you’re heard, and respected, and
loved. And to feel the confidence that you will always get what you want.
If you can get closer to that feeling, it means that your emotional shifting
worked. The more you do it, the easier it will get and the less afraid you will
become of delving into the emotional memories behind your beliefs.
11-An Advanced Emotional Shifting Technique
The most helpful exercise to facilitate this kind of deep symbolic breakthrough is
the good parent exercise, so named because you’re going to roleplay as both a
good parent and a troubled child. This sounds like a psychotherapy cliché, but
clichés exist for a reason. This stuff works. The reason it works is it gives you a
framework with which to come to terms with the things that you’ve been either
hiding or holding onto. You do this by splitting yourself into two personalities so
you can experience both in a more pure way.
If you’re not a parent or that representation doesn’t resonate with you, you can
also do the same exercise using your future and past selves. I find the future/past
self dynamic more effective for me, but for the sake of clarity I’ll use the words
“child” and “parent” to explain the process.
You as the child is the one with the troubles who doesn’t know how to fix them.
They are a conduit for you to experience pure emotion and for you to tell the
truth that you’ve maybe been hiding from. You see, your inner child doesn’t lie.
It knows what’s going on, even if it’s afraid to say it. It may take some coaxing,
but your inner child knows the deep truth to your core.
You as the parent on the other hand, are the ideal benevolent parent who is
infinitely patient and wise. You play that part too, because there is a part of you
that’s capable of infinite love, even if you don’t fully believe it. This part of you
is something you can simply pretend, but you know how to play it. The wise and
benevolent parent archetype is everywhere in our culture. Look to Obi Wan
Kenobi, or Gandalf, or Dumbledore. Think of your own parents at their best or
think of the best kind of parent that you would be.
Both child and parent energies are required for this to work. Once you
understand the two roles, you’re going to have a dialogue with them. The child
will do most of the talking, but the parent will chime in when they want to tell
the child something or give permission to the child to express more.
Exercise #5: The good parent
The parent will start with, “How are you?” or, “What’s going on?” Something
open-ended like that.
The child will then say a little. If this process feels weird for you, it means you
might not have communicated with your inner child for a long time. That’s ok.
You can always reconnect with them. Because both are you, you naturally desire
that reconciliation. Let it happen naturally.
The parent’s job is simply to listen and subtly guide. Their job is not to force an
agenda on the child. That kind of thinking is what got you here in the first place -
roleplaying as two different people to figure yourself out. The child may need
some validation from the parent. They may need the parent to understand them
and they may need to feel understood. These are all emotional processes that
happen inside you. I sound like a broken record but they aren’t logical, so don’t
try to invite a therapist to the party as a third person. This is an intimate, sacred
conversation between two halves that want to reconnect.
The parent can start with, “I understand you’re feeling x y and z.” Really feel
that understanding and the child will say more. The parent can say, “Tell me
more about that.” The child will open up more and more. You’re building a bond
of trust with yourself, as crazy as that sounds. In doing so, you’re honouring the
wishes and desires of this child.
As you write, your child may say things that seem trivial, or they may have been
forgotten. Anything that comes up is relevant, so try to suspend your judgement
or expect a particular kind of result. Just listen. As your child talks, you will
likely start to feel more emotion. You may feel and experience deep wounds,
anger, or anything else that you’ve buried. But, this is a safe place. The infinite
patience and wisdom of the parent figure makes it so. It lets your child express
itself.
Eventually, you can ask the child, “What do you need?” If you’ve been honest
and done the exercise up until this point, engaging with the emotions, your inner
child will trust you enough to tell you. Overall, your child wants to be happy and
it wants to play. But, it may need something other than that.
There are some core desires that you may want and need that you’re not aware
of. This is a way they come uncovered. When you role play as both child and
parent, you allow yourself to uncover truths that you couldn’t get to in any other
way. This can be a very emotional process, shaking you to the very core. But,
just like any other emotional process in this book, it ultimately becomes
something of beauty. It becomes something cathartic, and it paves the way for
everything else you want.
When do you use this process?
It’s helpful to use this process whenever you’re feeling negative emotion but you
don’t quite know how to express it. This exercise can help you cope with more
ambiguous or difficult emotional states.
It’s also helpful in the visualization process of deeper beliefs based on an
emotion you’re feeling more directly (Exercise #4). Again, you don’t have to use
the parent/child dichotomy, but can instead use your future self coming back to
comfort and empower yourself in the past.
12-What To Expect After A Belief Has Been Changed
We’ve been conditioned by a get-rich-quick culture to expect a formula for
instant results, but changing your beliefs is not like this. It’s a subtle, quiet shift
at first but it steadily builds momentum over time.
You may find yourself approaching the things that bother you in your life
slightly differently. You may find yourself stopping certain kinds of actions that
you kept forcing yourself to do before. You may become tired, bereft, and sad.
But, ultimately, you will feel clearer than you did before. When this happens,
you will know that your vibration has raised. Like in a meadow after a hard rain,
the sun will shine again in your life and it will feel fresher.
You may not get everything you want right away, but you will open yourself up
to the next steps of your life. You will finally start getting what you really need,
because the beliefs that block you will be gone. With them gone, you’ll be able
to give yourself what you need because you’ll know how to do it. You’ll start to
notice a more pure desire for things in your life quietly making itself known.
You’ll feel more inspired to do little things. Your life will evolve naturally.
Don’t expect earth shaking changes necessarily. Instead, expect beautiful
evolutions – those that feed you and inspire you.
Expect to feel more like yourself. Expect your child and parent to come together
as one force for you. Expect to feel a life force moving through you. Expect
good things to happen. Expect more confidence in the things you’re already
doing. You were meant to have the things you want. You were meant to have the
things that fill and fuel you. You were meant to express yourself fully. Expect to
be able to step into that power.
And when troubling emotions come, expect them to move more swiftly through
you. Expect to have equanimity with your emotions overall. In other words,
expect to make peace with the chaos of those feelings. Expect to learn to surf the
emotions as they come. Expect positive thinking to actually work, as you align
your vibration to what you want and allow it into your life.
It’s a cleansing process, personal development. There is no formula for it, but if
you’ve been stuck for a while, there are places that you should look. There are
paths that will unfold for you. The law of attraction simply drives this process
which is always happening. The universe is always trying to move you towards
your expansion and when you shift some core beliefs, you’ll give it better
avenues to do so. You’ll give it the ability to give you what you need more
directly and in more fun and joyful ways.
Share Your Story and Help Others By Leaving a
Review
There are a lot of books on manifesting to read out there on Kindle, but you
chose this book. For that, you have my sincere thanks. If you feel moved,
express your experience by leaving a review on Amazon. Reviews also help
others like you find the content that can change their lives.

Sincerely, Chris