Professional Documents
Culture Documents
ESSAYS
ORIGINAL TEXT:
Let me explain. Earlier in the evening, that man had said: “I suspect, given
a few commonalities, you could fall in love with anyone. If so, how do you
choose someone?”
I first read about the study when I was in the midst of a breakup. Each time
I thought of leaving, my heart overruled my brain. I felt stuck. So, like a
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good academic, I turned to science, hoping there was a way to love
smarter.
Let me acknowledge the ways our experiment already fails to line up with
the study. First, we were in a bar, not a lab. Second, we weren’t strangers.
Not only that, but I see now that one neither suggests nor agrees to try an
experiment designed to create romantic love if one isn’t open to this
happening.
I Googled Dr. Aron’s questions; there are 36. We spent the next two hours
passing my iPhone across the table, alternately posing each question.
In response to the prompt, “Name three things you and your partner
appear to have in common,” he looked at me and said, “I think we’re both
interested in each other.”
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I grinned and gulped my beer as he listed two more commonalities I then
promptly forgot. We exchanged stories about the last time we each cried,
and confessed the one thing we’d like to ask a fortuneteller.
It’s astounding, really, to hear what someone admires in you. I don’t know
why we don’t go around thoughtfully complimenting one another all the
time.
We finished at midnight, taking far longer than the 90 minutes for the
original study. Looking around the bar, I felt as if I had just woken up. “That
wasn’t so bad,” I said. “Definitely less uncomfortable than the staring into
each other’s eyes part would be.”
“Here?” I looked around the bar. It seemed too weird, too public.
“We could stand on the bridge,” he said, turning toward the window.
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The night was warm and I was wide-awake. We walked to the highest
point, then turned to face each other. I fumbled with my phone as I set the
timer.
I’ve skied steep slopes and hung from a rock face by a short length of
rope, but staring into someone’s eyes for four silent minutes was one of
the more thrilling and terrifying experiences of my life. I spent the first
couple of minutes just trying to breathe properly. There was a lot of
nervous smiling until, eventually, we settled in.
I know the eyes are the windows to the soul or whatever, but the real crux
of the moment was not just that I was really seeing someone, but that I
was seeing someone really seeing me.
So it was with the eye, which is not a window to anything but rather a
clump of very useful cells. The sentiment associated with the eye fell away
and I was struck by its astounding biological reality. It was strange and
exquisite.
When the timer buzzed, I was surprised — and a little relieved. But I also
felt a sense of loss. Already I was beginning to see our evening through
the surreal and unreliable lens of retrospect.
But what I like about this study is how it assumes that love is an action. It
assumes that what matters to my partner matters to me because we have
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at least three things in common, because we have shared tears, and
because he let me look at him.
It’s true you can’t choose who loves you, although I’ve spent years hoping
otherwise, and you can’t create romantic feelings based on convenience
alone.
But despite all this, I’ve begun to think love is a more pliable thing than we
make it out to be. Arthur Aron’s study taught me that it’s possible —
simple, even — to generate trust and intimacy, the feelings love needs to
thrive.
Love didn’t happen to us. We’re in love because we each made the choice
to be.
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TRANSLATED:
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Siya ay aking kasamahan sa kolehiyo na paminsan-minsan kong
nakakasalubong sa climbing gym at sa oras na iyon, napapaisip ako,
“Paano kung?” May kaunti rin akong ideya sa buhay niya dahil sa kanyang
Instagram account ngunit ito ang kauna-unahang beses na magkakakilala
kami ng personal.
“Sa katunayan, ilang ulit nang sinubukan ng mga sikolohista ang gawing
magkasintahan ang dalawang tao,” sabi ko nang maalala ko ang pag-aaral
ni Dr. Aron. “Nakamamangha. Nais ko itong subukan,” ani niya.
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dalawang taong iyon. Inimbitahan pa nila ang buong tauhan ng laboratory
sa kasalan.
Bago pa man ang lahat, nais kong linawin ang mga bagay na ginawa
namin na hindi sumapat sa kinakailangang sitwasyon ara sa eskperimento.
Una, nasa bar kami, hindi sa isang laboratory. Pangalawa, kakilala naming
ang isa’t-isa. Hindi lamang iyon, ngunit napagtanto ko rin na walang
sinuman ang susubukan ang eksperimentong ito kung wala silang interes
sa ideya na magmahal.
Hinanap ko sa Google ang mga tanong na kailangan sagutin ayon kay Dr.
Aron; mayroong tatlongpu’t anim na tanong. Ginugol naming ang sumunod
na dalawang oras habang pinagpapasahan ang aking telepono sa lamesa,
isa-isang binabanggit ang bawat katanungan.
Ang mga unang tanong ay madali lamang sagutin, walang halong bigat,
animo ay simpleng mga katanungan lamang gaya ng, “Nais mo bang
maging sikat? Sa paanong paraan?” at “Kailan ka huling kumanta para sa
iyong sarili? O sa ibang tao?”
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Napangiti at napainom na lamang ako ng alak habang sinabi niya pa ang
dalawa pang pagkakatulad namin. Nagpatuloy ang aming pagpapalitan ng
mga tanong at sagot. Naikuwento namin sa isa’t-isa kung kailan kami
huling umiyak, pati na rin kung ano ang nais naming itanong sa isang
manghuhula. Naipaliwang na din ang relasyon namin sa aming sari-
sariling ina.
Alam kong lahat tayo ay may istoryang handang ibahagi sa mga tanong
hindi pa natin masyadong kakilala, maaring kulang o malabo . Ngunit ang
mga tanong mula kay Dr. Aron ang dahilan kung bakit imposibleng ito
lamang ang iyong maibabahagi.
"Maaari tayong magtungo sa tulay," sabi niya nang pumaling ang kanyang
tingin sa nakabukas sa bintana.
Mainit ang gabing ito at tila ba ay gising na gising pa ako. Nagtungo kami
sa pinakamataas na parte ng tulay, sabay na humarap sa isa’t-isa.
Nagmadali akong ayusin ang timer ng aking telepono.
Alam ko na ang mata ang bintana ng pagkatao o kung ano pa man, ngunit
ang tunay na dahilan ng pagkakataong ito ay hindi lamang dahil nakikita
ko ang pagkatao ng isang tao, kundi ang katotohanang nakikita ko ang
isang taong tumitingin sa pagkatao ko.
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Ngayon, naiintindihan ko na. Ang mata ay hindi bintana para sa kung ano
man, kundi ito ay lupon ng kapakipakinabang na selula. Ang sinasabi
nilang emosyon na dala ng ating mga mata ay tila ba naglaho sa aking
kaisipan at napalitan ng tunay na esensiya nito. Ito ay kakaiba at katangi-
tangi.
Nang huminto ang timer, nabigla ako ngunit nakaramdam din ako ng
pagkaginhawa. Sa wakas ay nakita ko rin ang gabing ito sa hindi kapani-
paniwalang paraan.
Marahil, madami sa atin ang naniniwalang ang pag-ibig ang isang bagay
na nangyayari sa atin. Mahuhulog tayo tapos masasaktan.
ORIGINAL TEXT:
LOVE
Love can be defined as a strong bond between people. There are many
types of love: brotherly love, motherly love, love for pets, love for activities
or places, and everyone's favorite- romantic love.
The purpose of this article is to focus solely on romantic love between two
people. Romantic love will be defined as a profoundly tender, passionate
for another, including sexual desire and passion. It can be the thing that
makes you smile in the morning or the thing that makes you cry at night. A
deep, true love can be something that is bigger than obsession, a deeper
connection with another human being in which we can share our whole
selves with the other person; our likes and dislikes, passions, fears,
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memories (happy and sad), dreams, and spend quality time with each
other.
While it is true that any relationship needs compromise and work, there are
limits. If you feel like you are not happy or not being your true self, these
are major signs that there is trouble. One of the signs I have had in a past
relationship was that a good friend of mine pointed out that every time I
was asked about my girlfriend that my face and voice tone changed. It took
a friend pointing it out to make me realize that I was in an unhealthy and
unhappy relationship.
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TRANSLATED IN WARAY:
GUGMA
An paghigugma san duha nga tawo puydi maimdan sa kusog saira pag
upod. May-ada damo nga klase san paghigugma: paghigugma saimo
kabugtuan, paghigugma san imo iroy, paghigugma san imo alaga nga
kahayupan, paghigugma sa imo ginhihimo ugsa lugar nga nahihingadtuan,
ngan an paborito san kadam-an an paghigugma san tawo nga may
maupay na karuyag sidngon saimo kinabuhi.
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Karuyag igpasabot sini na may-ada mas hilarom na karuyag sidngon an
paghigugma. An paghigugma nga aton inaabat sa sayo nga tawo may-ada
damo nga karuyag sidngon. Puydi mo siya maisplikar kun sa kada aga
napapalipay ka niya ugsa kada gab'i nga ginpapatangis ka niya. An ungod
ug hilarom nga paghigugma mas pa sa pagka-imos sa usa nga tawo.
Pagka hilarom iyo pagkaupod: aram niyo iyo tagsa ruyag ug dire, iyo ruyag
himuon, iyo inkakahadukan, iyo malipay ngan magsurub'on nga mga
hinumduman, iyo ruyag mahingadtuan, ngan an kalipayon sa kada takna
nga magkaupod kam.
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nagtitingog. Siton mismo nga ak inabat, gin-isplikar san akon sangkay nga
dire ak kunta nakapot pa kun dire man ak nalilipay na.
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