Transcription Doc

Non-Verbal Communication

Note: This transcription document is a text version of the upGrad videos present in this session. It
is not meant to be read independently, but can be used to complement your video watching
experience.

Video 1

Speaker: Dhaval Doshi

Before we begin with the course, I would like you to introspect a little bit. Has it ever happened to
you that you had this brilliant idea that you wanted to pitch to your team, but when you actually
presented your idea, it fell flat on its face and you yourself were not impressed with it at all? Or
while addressing a group of people, or interacting with your clients, you froze over or found
yourself at a loss of words?

You may also have seen several people in your professional life as well as your social network,
who would be stellar performers as team members, but on being promoted to managerial or
leadership positions, their careers would just not take off the way one would expect.

What is it that makes some people so successful while some fail abysmally in leadership positions?
To answer all these questions, let’s revisit the word leadership. What does it exactly mean?

Put simply, in the words of late Warren Bennis, who was one of the world’s leading experts on
leadership, “Leadership is the capacity to transform your vision into reality”.

It is not just your vision for the future that makes you a great leader, but your ability to translate
it into reality by implementing an actionable plan, persuading and negotiating with all your present
as well as prospective stakeholders, inspiring and empowering your team to successfully carry out
the plan, and creating a “We can do this!” attitude in your team.

How do you go about achieving this? With the most powerful tool you have at your disposal, that
is your words. Hence, the key to leadership which is effective lies in communication.

When it comes to making and implementing a plan, negotiating with and persuading your
stakeholders, motivating and empowering your team, your communication skills become your
most effective tool. It is with your communication skills that you are able to inspire confidence in
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your team. Business leaders who communicate well instil a sense of purpose and direction in their
teams.

It is of utmost importance for leaders to be able to communicate what their vision for the future
is, how they plan on achieving it, what is in it for the team to follow the leader, and how the
leader has fared in his previous assignments. Leadership is all about getting the work done and
achieving the desired results, by effectively leading and managing a team of people.

Beginning with the first module, Communication Skills can be broadly classified into two
categories, verbal communication, which employs the use of words for communication, and non-
verbal communication, where you don’t use words and instead rely on your body language and
other nonverbal cues to convey the message.

Right from your childhood, you have been communicating with one another in one form or
another. But there is one important aspect of communication that people fail to pay attention to,
and that is non-verbal communication. As a leader, it is important for you to understand more
than what is being said and in order to communicate with your team and your peers in a more
efficient manner.

Hence, the first session will deal with Non-verbal communication. In this session, you will gain an
understanding of the different forms of nonverbal behaviour in the form of gestures, posture,
facial expressions and vocalics. You will also learn how to use non-verbal behaviour to successfully
influence your team and model your own behaviour in order to shape people’s perception of you.
While non-verbal communication helps you understand your team and other stakeholders at a
greater level, it is emotional intelligence that will help you establish a deeper connect with them
and get the job done seamlessly.

So the last segment of this session will cover Emotional Intelligence. You will learn how being
emotionally intelligent will help you foster a more productive and harmonious relation with
everyone you interact with. You will then learn to use non-verbal communication and emotional
intelligence to improve your everyday communication in the form of Verbal communication.

Verbal communication, which means communication with the help of words, has two components,
oral and written communication. In the first of these 2 sessions, you will learn about Oral
communication, which involves addressing a meeting, speaking at a townhall, giving a
presentation or a speech, etc. You will learn how to construct an argument that speaks to your
audience and how to master the art of public speaking.

In this session, you will also learn about the ways in which you can deliver an excellent
presentation. Also, you have not gotten the complete knack of oral communication unless you
learn how to use it in a cross-cultural environment.

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Looking at how diverse workplaces are becoming, communicating with people of different cultures
has become a major challenge for people. In the last segment, you will learn about the challenges
that people face in a cross-cultural setting and the ways in which you can effectively overcome
these communication barriers, both verbally and non-verbally.

Moreover, in a business environment, not all communication takes place orally. A lot of business
communication happens in the written format. Crucial sensitive communication happens in the
form of written communication, mostly in the form of emails.

So, in the last session, you will gain insights into how to make your written communication skills
more effective. You will learn how to make a persuasive argument, effectively structure your
content, write effectively, and perfect your email.

Finally, in the last segment you’ll gain an understanding of the etiquettes you need to follow and
the communication mistakes you should avoid in all forms of written communication. With this,
you will reach the end of the module, after which you will be equipped to effectively use
communication skills as a powerful weapon to inspire, motivate, persuade, and influence your
stakeholders. So, without further ado, let’s get started!

Video 2

Speaker: Dhaval Doshi

Think back to when you watched a thriller or a murder mystery. I am sure you must have
watched at least one episode of CID or Sherlock Holmes in your childhood. While watching movies
or shows like these, you find yourself constantly trying to guess who the culprit is. You scrutinise
each character very closely and measure each of their actions. Towards the end, when the real
culprit is revealed, you either gloat and say to yourself, ‘I knew she was the murderer’, or, if you
go wrong, you kick yourself and think ‘I should have guessed that’.

What is it about these characters that helps you identify the liars or fishy characters? Is it the
actors who portray them or is it their actions and mannerisms? What if I told you that it is not just
in these shows that you can identify out-of-place behaviour?

That, in real life too, just by being a little more observant, you can tell when a person is being
sincere or truthful to you; when a person is paying attention to you; when a person is agreeing
with you just to placate you. The list goes on and on. There is so much you can tell about a
person, just by being observant of his body language.

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It might seem surprising, but an average human being conveys 93% of his emotions through non-
verbal cues and only 7% through verbal medium. A person’s words might lie but his body
language won’t.

In this segment, you’ll see why communication is so integral to leadership; what the different
forms of communication are, and how non-verbal communication assists you in making your
communication more efficient.

Speaker: Dr. Bhavna Bhalla

To understand why communication is so integral to leadership, let us first define what leadership
is. In the literal sense, you can define leadership as the ability to lead people to success. That, in
essence, is the ultimate motive. However, what exactly do leaders do that makes people follow
them?

A leader guides people to success by influencing, persuading, inspiring and empowering them.
These are the main objectives of leadership. Leadership is about having a vision, and being able
to share that vision with people. Hence, communication is the foundation on which leadership
stands.

Communication can be divided into two types - verbal and non-verbal communication. Let us
begin with Non-verbal communication. As pointed out earlier, everyone subconsciously does this,
but very few people pay attention to it.

Non-verbal communication is communication that takes place without the use of words. It relies
on various non-verbal cues such as palm gestures, facial expressions, eye contact and tone to
convey feelings, attitudes and expressions. It is used to show emotions such as happiness,
sadness, anger, irritation, anxiety, etc. People unconsciously show these emotions most of the
time. There is never a moment when you are not communicating non-verbally.

Non-verbal communication normally aids people with communication in the following ways:

First, it helps reinforce what you are saying with the help of your body language. For example,
your colleague asks you if you are excited about the upcoming off-site trip that your organization
is planning. You reply with a resounding yes, and nod your head to show how eager you are to go
on the trip. Moreover, even when there is no verbal communication, people often convey their
emotions through facial expressions and other mannerisms.

It helps in defining the relationship between people. This is commonly used by politicians. Our
Prime Minister, Narendra Modi, is famous for his bear hugs, that he offers as a warm welcome
gesture to the leaders of countries that he wants to establish good relationships with. Additionally,
he establishes an emotional connection with these leaders by extending his handshake into a hug.
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This is how non-verbal communication helps you in one-on-one communication. Non-verbal
communication is also helpful in one-to-many communication where you’re addressing an
audience.

In one-to-many communication, this helps people establish a connect with their audience; through
the right use of gestures and eye contact. It also helps the speaker to understand the audience’s
response, by observing their actions, such as nodding their head in agreement, glassy eyed stares
when they don’t know what is being talked about, and so on.

Finally, it helps emphasise the message that’s being conveyed by varying the tone of the
sentence. For example, notice the difference in the following two sentences:

“I did not tell him that you stole his chocolate.”

“I did not tell him that you stole his chocolate.”

Notice how changing the focus on one word changed the entire meaning that is being conveyed.
Here, although the message is being conveyed through oral communication, the tone forms the
non-verbal aspect of this communication. Thus, non-verbal communication forms an integral part
of our day to day communication.

You saw how non-verbal communication can be used to convey many different things. But what
happens if a person’s words and actions are contradictory? For example, an employee, on being
asked if he is excited about working on a new project says, “Yeah, Yeah, I’m definitely excited to
be working on this project.” However, he says it in a dull, tired and monotonic voice. Do you
believe his words, or do you believe the tiredness in his voice?

Most of the time, non-verbal communication is a window into the person’s true emotions and
intentions. But, there may be several instances where solely relying on non-verbal communication
can give you misleading results.

For example, let’s go back to the example of the employee who was recently handed a new
project. His voice might sound tired because he spent the previous night working and is in fact
tired from his efforts. Hence, it is important to use your own judgement and ask clarifying
questions when required before making assumptions immediately.

Video 3

Speaker: Dhaval Doshi

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One morning you are in your office sitting with your team working on some high-priority proposal.
Suddenly the head of HR comes in and tells you that their organized a series of training sessions
for your team with some reputed institute for some newly launched software, you all grown. You
know how boring these trainings are, however, it is mandatory for you to attend it, and your
manager has made sure to remind you of that.

You go for the first training session, but take your laptops along just in case. You get some time in
between to work on your proposal. Your trainer for the day enters and starts introducing herself
and the course she is going to be teaching you.

Within two minutes of her speaking, you and your team realize you are worried about nothing.
You can easily untwist her into agreeing to let you keep your laptops on and keep working on
your proposal side by side. As she drones on and on about the software and its uses, your team
sits there with laptops on furiously working away on the proposal.

The next day you happily go into that training session, taking your laptops along and making a
mental to-do list of the things you are going to work on during that training. However, it's a
different trainer this time as she starts with the training you realize you will not even be able to
take out your phones during the session forget the laptops.

The training content is not much different, but judging from the way she is speaking and looking
at you while speaking, you know she is not to be messed with. She holds a commanding presence
with her body language. In the way she is making eye contact with each of you ensures that your
attention doesn't divert to anything else during the entire session.

What is it about the two trainers that makes you take them with so many different levels of
seriousness? You did not know either of them from before, and they were both equally boring, yet
within two minutes of their arrival. You know whom to take seriously and whom to easily get way
with.

How do you not be like the first trainer and how do you add personality traits from second trainer
to your own body language? Let's find out.

Speaker: Dr. Bhavna Bhalla

Nonverbal communication can be broadly classified into five categories: posture, gestures, eye
contact, facial expressions and tone. Let us begin with posture. Posture is the way that you stand
sit or, in general, hold your body. Your body posture acts as a mode of communication between
you and the other person. It can be broadly classified into two categories: open and closed
posture.

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Open posture simply means there is no barrier between you and the audience, no cross ramps,
nobody podium, etc. It is used by individuals who are open, expressive, interactive and
comfortable with themselves and their environment. It includes an erect posture with the
shoulders straight and drawn back, and your weight is distributed equally on both legs, instead of
leaning on just one leg.

Our brains subconsciously, equate power with the amount of space that people take up. Standing
straight with your shoulders drawn back appears to maximize the space you fill and projects you
as a leader in the eyes of others. An open posture communicates openness and interest in
someone and a readiness to listen.

On the contrary, a closed posture reflects submissiveness, shyness or sometimes even

aggressiveness or defensiveness. It gives the impression that the person is uncomfortable or is
disinterested in the conversation. It involves slouching, folded arms, crossed legs and trying to
face away from the other person. Slouching makes a person's body appear like it takes up less
space and hence projects, lesser power.

Another vital part of analyzing, a person's body language, is looking at their gestures. A gesture
refers to the movement of a person's head, arms, etc to convey their feelings, intentions, ideas,
etc.

For example, if you see someone nodding their head, that's a gesture that shows agreement. If
they are stroking their chin, They are probably thinking deeply about something.

One of the most crucial gestures used in interpersonal communication in our day-to-day life is a
handshake. A handshake is often used to denote positions of power of the two people involved
with respect to each other. If, in a handshake, one of the participants puts his hand on top, it
means that he is trying to dominate that conversation. If a person puts his hand at the bottom,
then it denotes a submissive position. If both participants hands are equally balanced, then it's an
equal handshake.

Although there is a wide multitude of gestures that you can analyze and interpret, we will only
look at three types of gestures that you can use while addressing a group of people. These
gestures are in reference to the position of your hands.

If, while gesturing you expose your pumps, then it means that you are open and accepting.
People are usually drawn to this gesture as it denotes openness, honesty and trustworthiness.

On the other hand, a gesture with the palm facing down is a sign of power and authority. This
gesture is usually used in front of subordinates to send out the message that, whatever is being
discussed must be delivered strictly. This gesture should not be used in front of those who are
your equals, such as your colleagues or your superiors.
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The third kind of gesture is the closed hand, with the pointed finger, if you are using this gesture,
while talking, it implies, do as I say, or else, this is a very condescending gesture and does not
have a positive impact on the audience.

Video 4

Speaker: Dhaval Doshi

You saw the kinds of postures and gestures people use in their everyday communication. You also
learnt about the significance of each of these types. But how do you use them to influence your
position and communicate effectively? Let’s hear from our industry expert, Gayatri, who will give
some best practices to maintain a posture and use gestures to project yourself as a confident
leader.

Speaker: Gayatri Chandrasekhran

As a leader, you need to be very particular about your posture. You should always have an open
posture. There should be nothing, not even folded arms, between you and your audience. Many a
time, I have seen people getting conscious, not knowing how to position their arms, and they end
up either crossing them over or putting them in their pockets. Never do the latter as that denotes
a very casual attitude. Don’t fidget around with your arms. Use them to create gestures so that
people are more interested in hearing what you have to say.

A great way to establish a connection with the other person is to use the mirroring technique. It
means imitating the body language of your clients or colleagues while interacting with them. This
is a nonverbal way of showing that you agree with them. While interacting with people, carefully
observe their facial expressions and body gestures and subtly let your body take on similar
expressions and gestures. This will make people feel that there is something about you that they
like. That is because they’ll see their own reflection in you. However, be careful never to mirror a
person’s negative body language as this will give a negative vibe to the other person.

Speaker: Dhaval Doshi

Making a great handshake is of utmost importance to make a powerful first impression. It forms
the most important part of gestures. You all have been doing handshakes all your life. But let's
hear from Gayatri on the right technique to perfect a handshake so that you’re able to nail your
first impression.

Speaker: Gayatri Chandrasekhran

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Whenever you meet someone of importance, ensure that you do a proper handshake. It should be
firm and confident. But it should not be so firm that it crushes the bones of the other person nor
so limp that the other person feels that he’s holding a dead fish in his hand.

Begin your introduction and then extend your hand for the handshake. Just making the
handshake without saying anything may make you appear nervous or aggressive. Keep your
handshake brief and to the point and do not hold it for more than 3-4 seconds. During the
handshake, pump the hand 2 or 3 times but not more than that. Don’t offer just your fingers for
the handshake.

Conversely, if you are shaking hands with a lady, don’t do a limp handshake or hold on to only the
fingers. Try not to indulge in a dominating or submissive handshake as it doesn’t help in rapport
building. Treat the other person as your equal and do a firm handshake. Make eye contact with
the person with whom you are shaking hands.

Video 5

Speaker: Dhaval Doshi

Having seen the right way to maintain your posture and gestures, let’s now move on to eye
contact. Your eyes can tell volumes about you, your attentiveness and your state of mind. On the
other hand, analysing the other person’s eye and the eye contact that’s been made is a great tool
to read them. Let’s now hear from Professor Bhavna on the importance of eye contact and the
kinds of eye contact you can use in different settings.

Speaker: Dr. Bhavna Bhalla

Let us now explore eye contact. Your eyes speak volumes about your confidence, sincerity and
comfort in communicating with the other person. Eye contact helps you establish a connect with
your audience. If someone avoids eye contact with you while they’re talking to you, you’ll feel that
they are either hiding something, or are not talking to you or even that they’re disinterested in
you.

Therefore, it is crucial to ensure proper eye contact to establish the right context, and ensure
proper flow of communication. However, eye contact doesn’t mean continuously staring at
someone’s eyes. Doing that will make most people uncomfortable or might even intimidate them.

Depending on the relationship you share with the person, you can make three types of eye
contact in your interpersonal communication.

The Business gaze. The Social gaze. The Intimate gaze.

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In a business environment, such as when you are interacting with your colleagues, client partners,
etc, you should use the business gaze. In this form of eye contact, you should imagine a triangle
on the forehead of the person, and here the line joining both the eyes will make the base of that
triangle. Keep your gaze directed at this area, and this will ensure a serious environment with just
the right amount of eye contact; without seeming aggressive or offensive.

When you are in a social setup, such as with friends, acquaintances, etc. you can employ the
social gaze. This is a good gesture to employ in office off-sites or various industry mixers too,
where you are in an informal setting with various stakeholders. Here, you should imagine an
inverted triangle just below the eyes, including the nose and lips. Staring into this area will keep
the atmosphere casual, and will not make the other person feel either intimidated or disinterested.

Finally, the intimate gaze is reserved for your partner, spouse, etc. and this includes looking from
the eyes until below the chin.

Speaker: Dhaval Doshi

Let’s now hear from Gayatri on how you can use eye contact to influence your audience and glean
important information about their attentiveness from their eye contact.

Speaker: Gayatri Chandrasekhran

Eye contact is a great way to establish a connection with your audience. While addressing a
group, make eye contact with the people 60-70% of the time. And don’t just stare at a selected
few people. Your eyes should cover the complete audience.

Great eye contact can help you in several ways. It is a great feedback mechanism. If you are
maintaining proper eye contact, you will know who is paying attention to you, who is physically
present but mentally absent, who is just waiting for your talk to be over, and who is completely
awed by your presence.

It also tells you how many people you have been able to sway with your words. If you find that a
lot of them are still unconvinced, you can then reinforce the message with some other examples
or come up with a better way of convincing them.

It also makes you look more authoritative, confident, and assertive. It helps build trust as making
eye contact makes people perceive you as honest and open to communication.

During one of my stints, while leading a sales team, the team’s morale was particularly low. This
was because the previous quarter’s numbers had not been that great and the next quarter looked
unpromising. The sales team was sceptical about fulfilling the sales targets.
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During that time, the onus came upon me to motivate and inspire my team and mobilise them to
achieve their targets. I knew that the entire team looked upon me to show them the way. When I
addressed them, I knew that in order to inspire confidence in my team, I had to first myself
appear confident to them.

I walked into that room with a confident smile on my face. I stood straight, without slouching and
with my shoulders drawn back. I made eye contact with each and every member of my team
while talking.

This instilled in them the belief that what seemed impossible to them, was, in fact, doable by each
and every one of them. I kept an open posture to show my team that I was always open to their
ideas, suggestions, and feedback. This made them more receptive and accepting of my ideas. I
laid down the entire plan and showed them a way in which we could work together to achieve the
numbers.

While the team had walked into that meeting, tired, dejected, and wary of being reprimanded for
another missed target, I saw them leave with a confidence in their stride, brimming with
excitement and enthusiasm, eagerly waiting to get started on their next month’s target.

Video 6

Speaker: Dhaval Doshi

In the previous videos, you learnt about body language and eye contact. However, non-verbal
communication also gives you a peak into a person’s emotions, his feelings and intentions. There
are other cues that help you analyse a person’s non-verbal behaviour.

You can arrive at such analysis by observing a person’s facial expressions. Observing facial
expressions will give you the real picture of what the other person is feeling while they are talking
with you. Let us see how you can observe, analyse and finally apply facial expressions in your
everyday communication.

Speaker: Dr. Bhavna Bhalla

Facial expressions play a vital role in all forms of social interaction. By decoding a person’s facial
expressions, you can quickly infer the state of mind your peers are in and interact with them
accordingly. Human emotions can be broadly classified into seven categories - happiness,
sadness, anger, disgust, fear, surprise and contempt.

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Happiness is one of the easily identifiable emotions. However, it becomes tricky when you have to
distinguish between a real smile and a fake one. Here’s a little exercise for you.

The first one is simple enough. Hers is clearly a fake smile. The second and third are both genuine
smiles. Their smiles are lighting up the corners of their eyes. The last one is a little tricky, though.
While her smile seems genuine enough, it is in fact a fake smile. So, how do you differentiate a
genuine smile from a fake one?

When you are genuinely happy and have a real smile on your face, your smile will reach your
eyes. By this I mean your eyes will squint slightly, and there will be small wrinkles on the outer
edges of your eyes. If it is a fake smile, then only your lips will be curled into a smile, while your
eyes remain neutral. Do note that more muscles are used in a genuine smile than in a fake one.
The eyes are a dead giveaway of a fake smile. If there are no wrinkles on the outer edges of the
eyes, then it is a fake smile.

In the images shown earlier, cover the mouth with your hand and look at just the eyes. Were you
now able to identify which smiles are genuine and which ones are fake?

Let us now move to the second emotion - sadness. Try making a sad face. What did you do? You
would have turned your lips down like this face.

Drawn down lips are the first indicator of a sad face. Along with this, your inner eyebrows will also
become drawn in and then, raised up. You might even pout your lower lip.

Moving on to the next emotion, let’s talk about anger. How can you identify anger? An angry
outburst is easy to identify. However, anger ranges from mild annoyance to outright rage. The
intensity of anger may vary, but the expression behind it remains similar.

Try making an angry face and look at yourself in the mirror. Did you tightly press your lips? I’m
sure you would have. Now, look at your eyebrows. Do you see vertical lines coming between your
eyebrows? Also, are your eyebrows lowered and drawn together? Well, if you did all of this, then
congratulations; you have mastered the angry expression.

So, how can you identify an angry expression? You should first look for these signs in the person’s
face. If all these signs are present, then bingo; the other person is displaying an angry face.

Next, let’s move on to disgust. Think about the worst thing that you have ever eaten in your life.
Suppose I ask you to eat this item right now. What will your expression be? Will it be something
like this?

So, when you smell or eat something really bad, or you hear about something that makes you
want to say “Eeww”, this indicates that you are disgusted. You’ll wrinkle your nose, and raise your
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lower lip and cheeks. There will also be lines below your lower eyelids. This expression is what we
define as disgust.

The next emotion we will look at is fear. When you are afraid, your eyebrows will be raised over,
and drawn together. There will be horizontal wrinkles on your forehead. Your eyes will become
large, and you’ll be able to see the upper white of your eye. Your lips will also be slightly stretched
and drawn back.

Moving on to surprise, it is a little similar to fear. But in surprise, you’ll be able to see the white
both below and above the eye. Your jaw drops open, and this results in an elongated face. Again,
there will be horizontal wrinkles on your forehead.

The last one, contempt, is easy enough to identify. Contempt is the feeling that someone else is
worthless. While expressing contempt, you’ll raise one side of your mouth.

Video 7

Speaker: Dhaval Doshi

You saw what the indicators of different facial expressions are. However, just knowing what a sad
or happy face looks like is not enough. You need to know how to use this knowledge to fully
understand nonverbal messages. Let’s hear from Gayatri on how you can use facial expressions to
ascertain the genuineness of the person’s words and emotions.

Speaker: Gayatri Chandrasekhran

When single emotions occur and the person doesn’t make any attempt to modify or conceal them,
the expressions typically last for 0.5 to 0.4 seconds. These are known as macro expressions.
These are relatively easy to see and identify.

However, there are some instances, where the expressions go on and off the face in a fraction of
a second. These are known as micro expressions and are signs of concealed emotions. These
expressions cannot be controlled voluntarily and maybe produced involuntarily even if the
individual is trying to control them. They typically occur when the person is trying to be deceitful
about their emotional expressions.

Learning to recognise micro expressions will assist you in evaluating truthfulness and detecting
deception. Pay attention to a person’s facial expressions when you are interacting with them. Be
on the lookout for expressions that occur fleetingly. Compare the emotion behind those
expressions to the words being uttered by the person. If there is a mismatch between the two, it
is a clear sign of the true emotion being concealed.
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Let’s consider an example where you are giving a sales pitch and you start discussing the product
with the client. The client raises one side of their mouth and says “Yeah, it is good. But, I already
have a lot of stock in my Godown and I don’t want to purchase more right now”.

Analyse the micro expression that came on your client’s face while uttering those words. In this
case, raising one side of the mouth is a sign of contempt, which means that the person found that
product was not worth his time. That means, the reason that the client gave was an excuse and
he was not very impressed by your product.

If you learn to recognise signs like these, you can put greater effort in highlighting product
features that might interest them, or organise some demo service for them to get a chance to see
the product and make a decision.

However, if you don’t pay any attention to the client’s micro expressions and believe that the
reason for not purchasing your product is non-availability of space in Godown, you’ll end up trying
to find work-around to the space constraint. Since space is not even the constraint, you’ll end up
wasting your efforts, unable to convert that client.

Video 8

Speaker: Dhaval Doshi

“It’s not what you said, but the way you said it” - what does this sentence mean? A lot of people
must have said this or have had it directed at them. What is so different about the way of saying
something, that the entire meaning behind those words gets changed?

The tone of voice or vocalics forms a very important component of non-verbal communication.
Analysing vocalics can give you a lot of information about the context of a conversation, the
intention behind a person’s words and the state of mind of the speaker, such as nervousness or
confidence, submissiveness or dominance, etc. So, let’s get started with vocalics.

Speaker: Dr. Bhavna Bhalla

After facial expressions, another very important component of non-verbal communication is

vocalics. Vocalics refers to the characteristics of voice that provide context to enable the right
interpretation of the verbal message. To understand this, let us go back to the example we used
earlier. Remember I had mentioned the following sentence:

“I did not tell him that you stole his chocolate”

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You saw how changing the emphasis on one word changed the meaning of the entire sentence.
This is one aspect of vocalics.

Vocalics majorly has the following components: Pitch, Rate of Speech, Volume and Pauses.

Let’s start with pitch. Pitch is the measure of frequency of sounds. First, let’s listen to two clips.

You must have noticed that the first one was shrill and squeaky. It isn’t something you would like
to listen to when you want to relax. This is a high-pitched voice. Often, a person’s voice becomes
high pitched when they are excited or nervous or even when they are in the presence of people
whom they consider superior to them.

The second voice is deep, measured, relaxed, and has a dominating effect on the listener. This is
a low pitched voice. Unlike in the case of a high pitched voice, a person’s voice becomes low-
pitched when he is dominating the conversation or considers himself superior to the people he is
interacting with.

Next is the rate of speech, which is the no. of words a person speaks per minute. If a person
speaks at a very fast pace, it is probably because the person is lying. In this instance, it will seem
like they’re skipping through their words. That is because they want to get the conversation over
with as quickly as possible, before someone catches any kink in their story. It can also happen
when the person is impatient or lacks confidence. On the other hand, if a person speaks slowly,
they want their listeners to realize the importance of what is being said.

After the rate of speech, it is also important to consider the volume at which the person speaks;
i.e. the level of loudness of voice. A person speaking in a low volume is probably shy or nervous.
On the flip side, a confident person will speak in a clear, loud tone.

To avoid sounding monotonous, alter and regulate your volume as you speak. Leaders sometime
drop the volume of their voice abruptly when they want to stress on something extremely
important. This is done so that people devote complete attention to them, and lean in to listen to
them.

Finally, pauses also form an important component of your speech. Making the right pauses while
speaking helps people understand what you are trying to communicate. However, the frequency
of pauses should not be too much.

If I umm... take pauses umm... after every umm... 2-3 words, it is going to be very frustrating for
you as a listener. Also, taking too many pauses is another sign of lying or deception; as people
take these pauses to buy time to frame arguments.

Speaker: Gayatri Chandrasekhran

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Your vocalics have a huge role to play in influencing how you are perceived as a leader.

Maintain a good rate of speech. It should neither be so fast that have people have to struggle to
understand what you’re saying, nor should it be so slow that people fall into a slumber while
listening to you. You should always regulate your pitch and tone while speaking. End your
questions on a high pitch, and affirmative sentences should end on lower pitch. Not having any
variation in pitch will make you sound monotonous and boring.

A few years ago, I had to organise a town hall to address the issue of impending layoffs that were
going to be done to downsize the organisation. Since this was such a grave issue, I maintained a
calm tone and an even pitch. In order to portray calmness, I maintained a low rate of speech as a
high rate of speech would have made me appear nervous and might have even agitated the
audience.

Both my facial expressions and the tone of my voice expressed sadness at having to resort to
such a drastic measures. In an empathetic tone, I conveyed how regretful the organisation was at
having to let go the people that were going to be laid off. I stressed on the fact that none of it
was personal and, in a sincere voice, ensured everyone that all the laid off employees would have
all the assistance of the organisation in searching for alternative job opportunities.

By effectively monitoring my facial expressions and my tone, I was to able to communicate

genuineness and sincerity in my words, and this helped prevent an angry outburst from the
audience.

Video 9

Speaker: Dhaval Doshi

Armed with the knowledge to recognise and understand non-verbal cues, you have begun your
journey to making your interactions more meaningful. Learning to recognise facial expressions
and the emotion behind those expressions is, however, just a part of the puzzle.

In order to be an effective leader, you need to know how to respond to those emotions and use
them as a source of information in order to guide your decisions and your actions. Equally
important is the ability to understand your own feelings and emotions and effectively manage
them. This ability to identify, understand and manage your own feelings as well as those of others
is what constitutes emotional intelligence. Becoming emotionally intelligent will really aid you in
successfully leading your team.

A high Emotional Quotient, or EQ, is generally associated with greater success in life. Studies have
shown that 90% of high performers at a workplace possess very high EQ, while 80% of low
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performers have low EQ. Unlike IQ, your EQ score is not constant and can be significantly
improved over time. So, in this segment. you’ll see how you can enhance your emotional
intelligence and use this for effective leadership.

Speaker: Dr. Bhavna Bhalla

Emotional Intelligence refers to the ability to accurately identify, understand and manage both
your own feelings as well as those of others, and use these emotions to guide your actions and
decisions. Emotional Intelligence, also referred to as the Emotional Quotient or EQ has four
components.

The first one is Self-awareness. It refers to the ability to accurately perceive, identify and
understand emotions and feelings in yourself.

The second one is Self-management. It refers to the ability to manage or regulate your own
emotions.

The third component is Social awareness. It refers to the ability to identify and understand
emotions in others and properly manage them.

The last one is Relationship Management. It refers to the ability to use the identified emotions and
feelings as a source of information or data, in solving problems, resolving issues, dealing with
people and managing relationships with them.

Mastering these four abilities will help you to become emotionally intelligent, and will set you on
the path to effectively lead your team. Let’s see how you can embark on a journey to becoming
emotionally intelligent.

Self-Awareness begins with becoming aware of your own emotions. Introspect and reflect on what
triggers your emotions, and identify how those feelings manifest in you. For example, think about
a time when someone said something to you, and you completely lost it. Identify what triggered
this feeling of anger in you, and how you ended up venting that anger. Identify how your body
responds to these emotions.

For example, if you are nervous, you might experience an uneasiness in your stomach. Learning
to associate your body’s reaction to the emotion it evokes, will help you to correlate that particular
reaction with its complementary emotion, simply by analysing your body’s response. This is really
helpful in situations where you become so overwhelmed with emotions, that you’re unable to
think objectively.

Once you’re aware of your emotions, then, self-management begins. Self-management involves
learning to identify your coping mechanism. Learn from your own experience. Think about the
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times you managed your emotions well, and try to remember the steps you took to do that. I
have seen a lot of people overcome their anger by becoming more empathetic. They imagined
themselves in the other person’s position, and were able to understand the challenges faced by
that person. This resulted in them becoming more forgiving.

For a lot of people, focusing on any calming presence in their life such as a loved one, some
favourite song, role-model or even a memory helped calm their nerves, before a major event.
Coping mechanisms vary from person to person. You need to work on yourself and analyse
yourself critically to find out what your coping mechanism is.

In order to manage your emotions, you also need to know where your emotions are coming from.
Thus, you need to identify your triggers. Suppose, with introspection, you realised that people are
not coming to meetings on time is your trigger behind an angry outburst. Therefore, the next time
you are holding a meeting, you’ll be prepared for the scenario that anyone might be late.

In order to prevent an outburst, you should start focussing on your coping mechanism. If
someone comes late, instead of lashing out at them, you’ll then be able to hear them out, and
peacefully establish the ground rules for upcoming meetings.

Once you gain some command over your own emotions, then comes the other crucial aspect of
EQ, understanding the emotions of others by developing social awareness. In order to become
socially aware, you must first become a good listener and actively pay attention to what people
are saying. This will help you become more empathetic to others, listen to what people are saying
to get a better sense of what they are feeling. Try to put yourself in their shoes, and react in a
sensitive way.

Moving on, the next step is to become observant. Observe facial expressions to identify the
emotions being experienced by people around you. Go one step further and observe other non-
verbal cues to identify whether the emotion displayed on their face is genuine or fake.

Your knowledge of identifying the difference between a fake and genuine smile will also come in
handy here. Finally, use all this information to effectively manage your relationship with your
peers and subordinates.

Additionally, learn to clearly express your own emotions. Ensure that your expressions are not
misconstrued for something else. For example, the inability to properly show appreciation to your
team members for a job well done can lead to loss of morale within the team. Also remember to
take feedback from your peers on your expressiveness. Don’t take it as criticism. Instead, treat it
as data to improve yourself further.

Video 10
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Speaker: Dhaval Doshi

You saw how you can make your interactions more meaningful by integrating emotional
intelligence into your communication. You also learnt about the steps you can take to become
emotionally intelligent. Let’s now hear about an instance from Gayatri on how she used emotional
intelligence in her expansive career as a team leader.

Speaker: Gayatri Chandrasekhran

During one of the product launches, I was discussing release dates, bugs, versions, etc. with my
team. After the discussion, as I looked around for a buy-in, everyone seemed onboard except one
person. She looked agitated and did not seem completely involved in the discussion.

At first glance, it seemed that she was not interested in the conversation and felt that she could
put her time to better use. On closer inspection of her facial expressions, I realised that she was
angry about something. I realised that calling her out in front of everyone would put her on the
defensive and not solve the problem.

In the meeting, I delegated all the tasks and finalised all the details for the launch. I let her cool
off and after 2-3 hours casually asked her to accompany me for a cup of tea outside. Once we
were outside, I started discussing small, non-work related things with her such as news, family,
interests, etc. to put her at ease.

As she started getting comfortable with the conversation, I asked her opinion about the scheduled
launch, action plan, its implementation, etc. Then I asked her, why she seemed a little absent
during the meeting. As expected, her first reaction was denial. I told her that I felt that something
was clearly disturbing her and that she seemed really angry at something or someone.

My ability to pinpoint the exact emotion that she was feeling made her more open to discussing
the matter with me. She ended up telling me how one of her coworkers had been putting his
share of work on her plate. He had unofficially taken on the task of the delegator and had gotten
his own work done by her.

It was during the meeting that she found that that he had gotten 3-4 days of his own work done
by her and had taken the entire credit for himself. She had put several of her own priority tasks
on hold to do that piece of work for him. I provided her a safe space to vent out her frustration
and helped her find a solution to the problem.

By letting her know that I had her back, I empowered her to face that colleague to call him out on
his unfair and unjust actions. I also gave her the power to assign some of her own work of equal
or greater value to that colleague. After this incident, she became one of my most trusted as well
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as high performing employees. Letting her deal with that problem on her own by empowering her
made her feel more confident, and she never had to come to me again with another such
problem.

Video 11

Speaker: Dhaval Doshi

In this session you learned about the main objectives of leadership which include influencing,
persuading, inspiring and empowering people. You also learned about how communication is the
foundation of leadership. You learned about the two types of communication that is verbal and
non-verbal communication.

All of us have used verbal communication all throughout our childhood however we often don't
pay attention to non-verbal communication. This is why in the first session you learned about non-
verbal communication.

Non-verbal communication will help you make a conscious effort to analyze and understand your
peers non-verbal messages. Non-verbal communication takes place without the use of words.
Through this session you became familiar with the different ways in which non-verbal
communication assists people in their everyday communication.

In the next segment you learned about the five broad classifications of non-verbal communication.
These include: Postures, Gestures, Eye contact, Facial expressions and Vocalics.

In posture you explored the two different types of posture: open and close pressure.

Next you learned about Gestures. Gestures refer to the movement of person's head, arms etc and
it's used to convey their feelings, intentions, ideas and more. You also explored one of the most
crucial gestures used in inter-personal communication, that is handshakes.

After this you learned about the three different types of gestures used by leaders in everyday
communication. These include gesturing with palms exposed denoting openness, honesty and
trustworthiness. Gesturing with the palm facing down showcasing power and authority and
gesturing with the closed hand and a pointed finger denoting a veiled threat such as saying “Do
as I say or else”.

Moving on to eye contact, you learned about the three different types of gazes that you can
employ in different environments. This includes the Business gaze that is reserved for your clients
colleagues and so forth in a business environment. The Social gaze that is employed and social set

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up with friends acquaintances and so on and the Intimate gaze that should only be used with your
partner or spouse.

Next you learned that in order to ensure proper eye contact you should look at the entire
audience instead of making eye contact with a select few people. Also while addressing a group
you should make eye contact 60-70% of the time. You then saw how eye contact helps you to
figure out how many people are paying attention to you and in turn will help you realize how
many people you have been able to reach out with your words. You also saw that eye contact
helps you build trust and appear more authoritative, confident and assertive.

Next you learnt about facial expressions and the seven types of human emotions that they signify.
Human emotions can be classified into happiness, sadness, anger, disgust, fear, surprise and
contempt. Here you learned how to identify each of these emotions from a person's facial
expression and you also understood how to differentiate between a fake and a genuine smile.

You learned that expressions that occur fleetingly for a split second are known as micro
expressions. They are a sign of concealed emotion. You also learned how to analyse micro
expressions to detect deception and analyse truthfulness.

In Vocalics which refers to the characteristics of voice you became familiar with the four
components of vocalics: Pitch, Rate of speech, Volume and Pauses.

In order to strengthen your position as a leader you should maintain a good rate of speech,
regulate your pitch and volume and make the optimum number of pauses.

Finally you learned how to establish a better connection with your stakeholders by becoming
emotionally intelligent. Here you used your knowledge of nonverbal cues to understand people's
emotions. Emotional Intelligence has four components: Self-awareness, Self-management, Social
awareness and Relationship management.

You learned about the different ways in which you can become more aware of your own
emotions. These include by introspecting and reflecting on the manifestation of your emotions and
identifying your body's response to these emotions. You then looked at how you can effectively
manage your emotions by identifying the triggers and the coping mechanism.

Next you learned how to become mostly intelligent by becoming aware of your emotions and
managing other's emotions as well. You learnt to do this by becoming a good listener and
becoming more observant. You implemented your knowledge of facial expressions and other non-
verbal cues to identify the emotions that people around you were experiencing and to effectively
manage them and your relationship with them.

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Hope you liked this session and are ready to leverage non-verbal communication in your day-to-
day work. In the next session you'll learn how to refine your oral communication skills which are
used in the form of speaking at meetings, speeches, presentations, etc. You'll also learn how to
incorporate the skills of non-verbal communication and emotional intelligence in your oral
communication.

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