PRODUCTION TEAM

Directors: Calimag, Romero

Lights and Sounds: Acharon, Lucas, Payumo,
Music Team: Bolima, Gono, Germar, Nunez, Pescador, Villena
Choreographers: Coloma , Gatdula, Unidad, Tandiama
Set Designers: Esguerra, Pe Benito, Villarin
Costume and Make-Up: Edquila, Laceda, Miergas
Script: Igna, Picache

CAST

Tracy Turnblad- Del Rosario

Corny Collins- Lanzaderas
Edna Turnblad- Espiritu
Wilbur Turnblad- Guevarra
Penny Pingleton- Castillo
Prudy Pingleton- Villarin
Amber Von Tussle- Calimag
Velma Von Tussle- Villareal
Link Larkin- Vallecer
Seaweed J. Stubbs- Tandiama
Li'l Inez- Mercado
Motormouth Maybelle- Magallon
Mr. Pinky- Fiesta
Spritzer- Gorumba
Gym Teacher/ Principal- Villarin
The Dynamites:
Judine- Igot
Kamilah- Ebon
Shyla- Laceda
Council Members:
Brad- Becerro
Tammy- Alvarez
Fender- Pomar
Brenda- Miergas
Sketch- Coloma
Shelly- Esguerra
IQ- Ferrer
Lou Ann- Unidad

Black/Normal People:
Edquila, Igna, Ylagan,
Picache, Fiesta,
Medina, Gatdula, VJ
 FOR PROPS AND TECHNICAL TEAM

On viewer's point of view VI. SPRING FLING/TRACY ON TCCS/IT TAKES

BG1(left), TWO/BALTIMORE CRABS
a. Building a. Mic ni Corny again
b. Edna's laundry area (Ironing Board and *Corny Collins Show opening tune plays*
Laundry basket) *COUNCIL MEMBERS Enter*
c. Corny Collins BG *Opening Tune stops*
*Lights dim*
BG2(center),
*BG rotates to the Corny Collins Show*
a. Building *Spotlight on Corny*
b. Tracy's Bed *Opening Song Plays*
c. Corny Collins BG *Brighten Lights on Tracy, Edna and Wilbur and
BG3(right) then whole stage after a while*
a. Building b. TV
*It takes Two*
b. Mortormouth Records
*Focus (lights) on Spritzer, Velma and Corny)*
c. Corny Collins BG
*after a while, only on Velma *Baltimore Crabs*
I. GM BALTIMORE *Lights fade out*
a. BG--Tracy's Bed with blanket @ center *Prepare things*
*rotates-Building later *Lights fade in*
b. Bag, radio @ inside bag (yung "I got my VII. WELCOME TO THE 60's
hairspray.." Tracy touches her hair.) *While this is ongoing, Council Members change
c. Rats costume to Gym Clothes*
*Spotlight on Tracy* c. Telephone
*Slowly Brighten Lights while intro music plays* d. Jelly Doughnuts kuno
*BG turns to corny Collins show BG* e. Measuring Tape ni Mr. Pinky
II.NICEST KIDS *Lights off*
a. labas IRONING BOARD ni Edna, and *Lights on and Council members are on the
b. Laundry Basket stage already*
c. TV with Antenna VIII. SCATTER BALL/RUN AND TELL/BBB/PROTEST
d. Mic, ni Corny Collins RALLY
e. Council Ring ni Link a. Whistle for Gym Teacher
f. Cue card for Amber b. Balls, at least 5
*Not much to do when Transitioning with Lights* c. Q-Tips and Band Aids (either kahit maliit
*Prepare Music* na paper na lang to or unusually large for
III. BIG GIRL comedic effect)
a. Gloves for Velma *BG 3 rotates to Motormouth Records BG*
b. Something to pull for each girl d. Table of Food (idk how to transition this)
*They pose. In the count of 3, Off lights* e. Table na tatayuan ni Seaweed
*People Prepare the things while lights are out* f. 2 paper bags (pasalubong nina Edna
*Fade In Lights while low rumba music plays* (BG and Wilbur)
music lang) g. Protest Rally signs, at least 8
IV. AUDITIONS/I CAN HEAR THE BELLS/ BALTIMORE h. POLICE STUFF
CRABS PATIKIM *Lights fade out*
a. Prepare Table and *Labas kulungan ni Tracy*
b. Chairs, 5 IX. W/O LOVE
c. Bells, 8 (Optional) a. Kulungan ni Tracy
d. Long White Cloth (Optional) b. Bed ni Penny
e. Arc, at least 1 (Optional) c. Ropes (pantali kay penny)
f. Headdress and Gloves ni Edna (Optional) d. Council Ring ulit ni Link
*Lights fade out* *Ringing Phone*
V. DETENTION e. Gunting ni Seaweed
a. Bags of each student X. THE PLAN
b. Black/Whiteboard a. TV
c. Chalk/Marker *VOICE OVER* ng News about Tracy
d. Arm chairs/ Chairs *Door chimes/Opening door sound*
e. Radio/Boombox b. Umbrella (di Automatic)
*School bell rings* XII. FINALE
*Characters drag whiteboard and chairs away*
a. Mic ulit ni Corny b. Hairspray Giant Can
 PEOPLE ON EACH SCENE

I. GM BALTIMORE
-Tracy, Council Members & Normal People

II.NICEST KIDS
-Corny, Council Members, Amber, Link, Velma, Tracy, Penny, Edna, Prudy, Wilbur, Person (holds the cue
cards), Spritzer

III. BIG GIRL

-Tracy, Edna, Penny, Prudy, Amber, Velma

IV. AUDITIONS
-Velma, Council Members, Tracy, Penny, Lil Inez

V. DETENTION
-Gym Teacher(also Principal), Tracy, Seaweed, Normal People

VI. SPRING FLING/TRACY ON TCCS

-Corny, Council Members, Normal People, Amber,Link,Tracy, Seaweed, Lil Inez

-Corny, Council Members, Tracy, Amber, Link, Velma, Spritzer

VII. WELCOME TO THE 60's

(Change costume mga council members)
-Tracy, Edna, Mr. Pinky, Judine, Shyla, Kamilah. (Sama pa ba 2nd part ng Welcome to the 60's??)

VIII. SCATTER BALL/RUN AND TELL/BBB/PROTEST RALLY

-Amber, Link, Council Members, Normal People, Tracy, Penny, Seaweed, Gym Teacher.

(Everyone goes away, then Run and Tell)

-Seaweed, Penny, Tracy, Link, Lil Inez, Normal People

(Song is done then add..)

MM Maybelle, Amber, Velma, Edna, Wilbur

(...Protest Signs are given, march sila.. tas add)

Council Members, Velma, Amber A lot of peeps and Police

IX. W/O LOVE

-Tracy, Link, Penny, Seaweed, Prudy

X. THE PLAN
-Motormouth, Black/Normal People, Tracy, Link, Penny, Seaweed, Lil Inez

XII. FINALE
-Ebriwan but Velma and Amber
 SONGS

GOOD MORNING BALTIMORE

-Tracy mostly, Council Members, Normal People
**MM, Mr. Pinky, Spritzer, Igot, Laceda, Mae

NICEST KIDS IN TOWN

-Corny mostly, Amber, Link, Council Members
**Edquila, Igna, Ylagan, Fiesta, Medina, VJ

MAMA I'M A BIG GIRL NOW

-Tracy, Edna, Penny, Prudy, Amber, Velma
**Edquila, Igna, Ylagan

I CAN HEAR THE BELLS

-Tracy mostly, Council Members
**MM, Equila, Igna, Ylagan, Melwel

ENDING PART OF BALTIMORE CRABS

-Velma

MADISON

IT TAKES TWO
-Link mostly, Tracy
**MM, Mr. Pinky, Spritzer, Edquila, Igna, Ylagan,
MISS BALTIMORE CRABS REPRISE
-Velma

WELCOME TO THE 60'S

-Tracy, The Dynamites( Rea, Laceda, Mae )
**MM, Shelly(Jinyal), Brenda(Roan), Tammy(Mema)

RUN AND TELL THAT!

-Seaweed, Lil Inez(mej mahirap part niya), Normal People
**Brad(Mcken), Fender(Pot), Sketch(Coloma), IQ(Ferrer) Shelly(Jinyal), Brenda(Roan), Tammy(Mema), Lou
Ann(Unidad)

BIG, BLACK, AND BEAUTIFUL

-Motormouth mostly,(then mga back up) Tracy, Edna, Penny Normal People
**Brad(Mcken), Fender(Pot), Sketch(Coloma), IQ(Ferrer) Shelly(Jinyal), Brenda(Roan), Tammy(Mema), Lou
Ann(Unidad)

WITHOUT LOVE
-Link, Tracy, Penny, Seaweed
**MM, Mr. Pinky, Spritzer, Edquila, Igna, Ylagan,
(and may be all people backstage??)

IT'S HAIRSPRAY
-Corny mostly, Council Members

COOTIES
-Amber, Council Members

YOU CAN'T STOP THE BEAT

-Tracy, Penny and all
SONGS

SCENE 1
-Good Morning Baltimore

SCENE 2
-Nicest Kids in Town Part 1
-Nicest Kids in Town Part 2
-Tune
(After the line na VELMA: And we're back in five.. four.. three..)

SCENE 3
-Mama I'm a Big Girl Now

SCENE 4
-Low Volume Rumba music
-I Can Hear the Bells
-Ms. Baltimore Carbs Ending Part
(See script and video from the movie)

SCENE 5
-Sad tune (kasi nagdadrama si Tracy)
-Detroit sound
( "Hello, my name is.." See hairspray live detention scene)
-School Bell

SCENE 6
-Nicest Kids Tune
-The Madison
-Nicest Kids in Town(Parte ng part 2 only)
-It takes Two
-Miss Baltimore Crabs Reprise

SCENE 7
-Welcome to the 60's (Part 1 only)

SCENE 8
-War-ish Game Sound(Scatter Dodge Ball)
-Run and Tell That
-Soothing Jazz music
-Big Blonde and Beautiful (by Jennifer Hudson in Hairspray Live)

-Police Sounds

SCENE 9
- Without Love

SCENE 10: THE PLAN

-Dramatic Speech Sound (Habang nagiispeech si Motormouth)

SCENE 11: FINALE

-Spectacular Music (And now, live from the Baltimore Eventorium..")
-It's Hairspray (Shortened Version from Hairspray Jr.)
-Nicest Kids Tune
-Cooties
-You Can't Stop the Beat (Part 1 of Hairspray Live Version)
END
I. GOOD MORNING BALTIMORE
*Spotlight on Tracy*
TRACY:
Oh, oh, oh
Woke up today
Feeling the way
I always do
Oh, oh, oh
Hungry for something
that I can't eat
Then I hear that beat
That rhythm of town
starts calling me down
It's like a message from high above
Oh, oh, oh
Pulling me out to the smiles
and the streets that I love
*Lose spotlight*
*People Dancing*
[Good morning, Baltimore!]
Every day's like an open door
[Ahhh]
Every night is a fantasy
Every sound's like a symphony
[Good morning, Baltimore]
And someday when I take to the floor
The world's gonna wake up and see
Baltimore and me
*Lose Blanket*
Oh, oh, oh
Look at my hair
What 'do can compare
With mine today?
Oh, oh, oh
I've got my hairspray and radio
I'm ready to go
The rats on the street
All dance around my feet
They seem to say:
"Tracy, it's up to you"
So oh, oh, don't hold me back
'Cause today all
my dreams will come true
[Good morning, Baltimore]
There's the flasher
who lives next door
[Ahhh]
There's the bum on his barroom stool
They wish me luck
on my way to school
[Good morning, Baltimore]
And someday when I take to the floor
The world's gonna wake up and see
Baltimore and me
I know every step
I know every song
I know there's a place [where I belon ]
I see all those party lights
shining ahead
So someone invite me
before I drop dead
[Before she drops dead]
So oh, oh, give me a chance
'Cause when I start
to dance I'm a movie star
Oh, oh, oh
Something inside
of me makes me move
When I hear that groove
My ma tells me no
But my feet tell me "go"
It's like a drummer inside my heart
So oh, oh, don't make me wait
One more moment for my life to start
[Good morning, good morning]
[Waiting for my life to start]
[I love you, Baltimore]
Every day's like an open door
Every night is a fantasy
Every sounds like a symphony
And I promise, Baltimore
That someday when I take to the floor
The world's gonna wake up and see
[Gonna wake up and see]
Baltimore and me
[Yes, more or less, we all agree]
Baltimore and me
[Someday the world is gonna see]
*Spotlight on Tracy*
Baltimore and me
(Tracy runs backstage)
II. THE NICEST KIDS IN TOWN
*BG shifts to The Corny Collins
Show*
* Nicest Kids in Town Song*
CORNY: Hey there, Teenage
Baltimore! Don't change that
channel! 'Cause it's time for the Corny
Collins Show! Brought to you by Ultra
Clutch Hairspray!
CORNY (& COUNCIL MEMBERS):
Ev'ry afternoon
When the clock strikes four
[bop-bee-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba, bee-ba]
A crazy bunch of kids Crash through
that door [bop-bee-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba,
bee-ba]
They throw off their coats
And leave the squares behind
And then they shake it, shake it,
shake it Like they're losing their mind
You'll never see them frown
'Cause they're the nicest kids in town
So every afternoon
You turn your T.V. on
[na, na, na, na, na, na-na-na-na)
And we know you turn the sound up
When your parents are gone, yeah
[na, na, na, na, na, na-na-na-na]
And then you twist and shout
For your favorite star
And when you've practiced every step
That's in your repertoire
You better come on down
And meet the nicest kids in town
*Dim Lights*
*Spotlight on Tracy and Penny*
TRACY: Hurry, Penny—the show's
already started!
PENNY: I’m hurrying, Tracy, but my
mother says I'm not allowed to
perspire.
PRUDY: Edna, is my laundry ready?
*Spotlight on EDNA and PRUDY*
EDNA: (EDNA is slaving away at
her ironing board next to a huge
stack of laundry. PRUDY is picking
up her laundry.) Who wants to
know? Sure it is, hon. That'll be three
dollars.
PRUDY: (digging in her purse)
That's pretty pricey for a few pairs of
pettipants.
EDNA: I'm sorry, Prudy Pingleton,
but there were some extra charges.
Some of your personal stains
required pounding on a rock.
(TRACY and PENNY enter)
EDNA: Four o'clock. Guess I don't
need to ask who got detention
again. Tracy Turnblad, mind your
manners and say hello to our guest.
TRACY: Hello, Mrs. Pingleton.
EDNA: And you, Penny?
PENNY: Hello, Mrs. Pingleton... I
mean... Mother.
EDNA: (to PRUDY) Teenagers.
They just love watching that Corny
Collins
PRUDY: Delinquents. It ain't right
dancing to that colored music.
EDNA: Don't be silly; it ain't colored.
The TV's black and white.
*Lights Brighten as Song
continues*
(PRUDY exits with her bundle
shaking her head in disapproval)
Nice white kids
Who like to lead the way
And once a month we have our "negro
day!"
And I'm the man who keeps it spinnin'
round
Mr. Corny Collins
With the latest, greatest Baltimore
sound!
So every afternoon
Drop everything woo!
(bop-bee-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba, bee-ba)
Who needs to read and write
When you can dance and sing?
(bop-bee-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba, bee-ba)
Forget about your algebra
And calculus
You can always do your homework
On the morning bus
Can't tell a verb from a noun
They're the nicest kids in town
Roll Call!
I'm Amber! Brad! Tammy! Fender!
Brenda! Sketch! Shelley! IQ!
LouLou Ann!
And I'm...LINK! (All of the girls
scream.)
TRACY: Oh, Link kiss me again and
again!
CORNY (& COUNCIL MEMBERS)
So, if every night you're shaking
As you lie in bed
(mony-mony, ooh, mony-mony)
And the bass and drums
Are pounding in your head
(mony-mony, ooh, mony-mony)
Who cares about sleep
When you can snooze in school?
They'll never get to college
But they sure look cool
Don't need a cap and a gown
'Cause they're the nicest Kids in town
They're the nicest. nicest
They're the nicest, nicest
They're the sugar 'n' spicest, The
nicest kids in... Kids in town!
*Lose lights on Tracy’s home;
Lights shift in the TV studio *
VELMA: And we're off! All right
people, how many times do I have to
tell you, we do NOT touch ourselves
while on camera. Tammy, lose the
padding. You too, Fender. Now Link,
stop hogging the camera; you're not
Elvis yet. Amber darling, hog the
camera.
AMBER: Yes, Mother.
VELMA: And you, Mr. Collins! None
of that “Detroit” sound today.
CORNY: The kids are over the mood
for blues, Velma. They love it.
VELMA: They're kids, Corny. We
must steer them in the “white”
direction. I mean, you know what I
mean.
*Shifts to Link and Amber*
LINK: Amber, I've got something for
you. (Offers his ring) I figured, since
we've been going together sort of ..
steadily.. maybe we should make
this official.
AMBER: Oh, Link. Your council
member ring. How sweet! And oh
look, it matches my hair colour
exactly! (They fake kiss)
VELMA: Ah, ah, ah! Save your
personal lives for the camera! And
we're back in five... four .. three...
*The lights change to indicate that
they're back on the air*
CORNY: Now don't forget, guys and
Gidgets—our very first prime-time
th
spectacular is coming up on June 6 .
We'll be broadcasting live,
nationwide!
Talent scouts will be on hand from
all of the major record labels, and
sponsoring the event will be none
other than our own Ultra Clutch
Hairspray. So, let’s give a great big
fonny Baltimore salute to the
president of Ultra Clutch, Herman F.
Spritzer!
(Include Spritzer’s mini speech)
ALL: Our big break!
CORNY: Also, in the special, we'll be
crowning your choice for Miss
Teenage Hairspray 1962!
AMBER: My big break!
EDNA: (looking at the television)
Well, isn't she a lovely slim girl.
TRACY: (to PENNY) I guess
Amber's pretty but she can't dance.
PENNY: Plastic little spastic.
TRACY: Oh look! I’m gonna kill
myself. She's wearing Link's council
ring! *sobs dramatically*
AMBER: (reading from a cue card)
Hey, gang, next Thursday is mother-
daughter Day so grab yours and
watch mom and me here at WZZT.
Oh! And I wanna be Miss Teenage
Hairspray. So remember, a vote for
me from you is a vote for me.
CORNY: What an unexpected adlib,
Amber. And speaking of
unexpected, our own fun-loving,
Brenda will be taking a little leave of
absence from the show. How long
will you be gone, Brenda?
BRENDA: Nine months *smiles*
CORNY: So, it seems we'll have an
opening for a girl who is just as fun-
loving, but maybe not quite as
freewheeling. How’d you like to be
one of the nicest kids in town? Cut
school tomorrow and come on down
to station WZZT to audition!
TRACY: Ohmigod! It's the dream of
a lifetime. I have to go audition.
PENNY: Ohmigod! It's the dream of
a lifetime. I have to go watch you
audition.
EDNA: (snapping off the TV) That'll
be enough of that Cornhole Collins
for one day. No one’s auditioning for
anything. There will be no cutting
school in this house.
PENNY: But Mrs. Turnblad...
EDNA: Penny, go tell your mother
she wants you.
PENNY: She does? I better hurry.
Bye, Mrs. Turnblad. Bye, Tracy!
(PENNY runs into WILBUR as he
enters.)
WILBUR: Woah! It must be rush
hour traffic!
TRACY: Hi daddy.
WILBUR: Hi baby. (Kisses Tracy on
the cheeks) I’m telling you, since I
got that new shipment of exploding
bubble gum, business in the Har-De-
Har Hut is booming! *ba-dum tss*
HAHAHA How are my two funny
honeys?
EDNA: Oh stop, Wilbur. You’re the
funny one. (Sexy, seductive kind of
voice)
TRACY: Daddy, tomorrow I'm
auditioning to dance on a TV show!
(excited)
EDNA: You’re gonna have to go
further than that to go around me.
No one's auditioning for anything,
young lady. And what did I tell you
about that hair? All ratted up like a
teenage Jezebel.
TRACY: Mother, you are so fifties.
Even our first lady, Jackie B.
Kennedy, rats her hair.
EDNA: Yeah? Well, you ain't no first
lady, are ya? (taking WILBUR aside)
Wilbur, talk to her. Girls like Tracy..
People like us... You know what I'm
saying. They don't put people like us
on TV—Except to be laughed at.
(WILBUR goes to Tracy)
WILBUR: Tracy, this TV thing, you
really want it?
TRACY: It's my dream, Daddy
(pause)
WILBUR: Then you go for it. This is
America, baby. You gotta think big
to be big.
EDNA: Being big is not the problem
Wilbur.
WILBUR: You follow your dream,
Tracy. Now I gotta get back to the
Har-De-Har Hut. I’ve got my dream
now right here…and I love it!
TRACY: Thanks, Daddy! (Hugs
Wilbur then follows along)
EDNA: Tracy, come back up here.
I've got hampers of laundry to clean
and my diet pill is wearing off!
TRACY: But Mama, I don’t wanna be
a laundress, I want to be famous.
EDNA: Oh you think I wanted to
spend my life washing and ironing
other people's clothing? No, I
wanted to design them. I thought I’d
be the biggest thing in brassieres.
(looks at breast) Be careful what
you wish for. Now start folding.
TRACY: Ugh.
(Enters PENNY and PRUDY.)
PENNY: But Mom, all I was doing
was watching Corny Collins over at
Tracy's.
PRUDY: Didn't I forbid you from
listening to race music? Oh if ever
the police finds your father, he’s
gonna punish you real good.
(Enters AMBER and VELMA.)
VELMA: Your dancing was atrocious
today, Amber, I'm willing to lie,
cheat, and steal to win you that Miss
Hairspray crown, but you've got to
work with me. Now let me at that
zit!
AMBER: Aw, stop it mom!
III. Mama I’m a Big Girl Now
PRUDY: Don't contradict me!
VELMA: Don't disobey me!
EDNA: Don't even think about going
to that audition.
TRACY, PENNY & AMBER: Please!
MOMS: No!
GIRLS: Mother!!!!
MOMS: Stop!
PENNY: Stop telling me what to do
MOMS: Don't!
AMBER: Don't treat me like a child of
two.
MOMS: No!
TRACY: I know that you want what's
best
MOMS: Please!
TRACY: But mother, please,
GIRLS: Give it a rest!!!
MOMS: Stop! Don't! No! Please!
Stop! Don't! No! Please! Stop! Don't!
No! Please! Mama. I'm a big girl now!
TRACY: Once upon a time when I was
just a kid
You never let me do just what the
other kids did But lose that laundry
list of what you won't allow
GIRLS: 'Cause mama, I'm a big girl
now
AMBER: Once upon a time I used to
play with toys
But now I'd rather play around with
teenage boys So, if I get a hickey,
please don't have a cow
GIRLS: 'Cause mama, I'm a big girl
now
PENNY: Ma, I gotta tell you that
without a doubt
I get my best dancing lessons from
you
You're the one who taught me how to
"twist and shout"
Because you shout non-stop And
you're so twisted too! Oh -oh -oh -oh -
oh
TRACY: Once I used to fidget 'Cause I
just sat home AMBER: But now I'm
just like Gidget and i gotta get to
Rome!
PENNY: So say, arrivederci!
TRACY: Toodle-loo!
AMBER: And ciao!
GIRLS: 'Cause mama, I'm a big girl
now
MOMS: Stop! Don't! No! Please!
Stop! Don't! No! Please! Stop! Don't!
No! Please!
GIRLS: Mama, I'm a big girl now
TRACY: Once upon a time I was a shy
young thing
Could barely walk and talk so much as
dance and sing
But let me hit that stage, I wanna
take my bow
GIRLS: 'Cause mama, I'm a big girl
now
GIRLS: Ma, you always taught me
what was right from wrong And now I
just wanna give it a try Mama, I've
been in the nest for far too long
So please give a push and mama
watch me fly
AMBER: Watch me fly
GIRLS: Hey, mama, say mama
PENNY: Someday I will meet a man
You won't condemn
AMBER: And we will have some kids
And you can torture them
TRACY: But let me be a star Before I
take that vow
GIRLS: 'Cause mama, I'm a big girl
now
PENNY: Oh - Oh - Oh GIRLS Mama,
I'm a big girl now
AMBER: Hey - Hey - Hey
GIRLS: Mama, I'm a big girl
AMBER: Ooh, such a big, big girl!
GIRLS: I'm a big girl now
ALL: Stop! Don't! No! Please! Stop!
Don't! No! Please! Stop! Don't! N0!
Please!
GIRLS: Mama, I'm a big girl now!!!
*Lights out*
IV. AUDITIONS
(TRACY and PENNY enter, out of
breath. The COUNCIL starts to
break up.)
TRACY: Phew! I thought we'd never
get here. Stupid bus crash!
PENNY: All my life I imagined what
this place would look like. This isn't
it.
TRACY: (to VELMA) Hi there am I
too late to audition?
VELMA: (dismissing her) Not too
late dear, just too much.
PENNY: Tracy look, it's Link!
TRACY: Link Larkin. So near, and
yet so gorgeous.
LINK: *talking to the boys* I know,
those girls were all over me. I don't
know how Rock Hudson stands it.
(And he walks right into TRACY)
Excuse me, little darlin', I hope I
didn't dent your 'do.
PENNY: Tracy? Are you alright?
TRACY: Uh-huh *dreamily while
looking at Link*
TRACY:
I can hear the bells, well don't you
hear 'em chime? Can't you feel my
heart-beat keeping perfect time? And
all because he...
Touched me,
He looked at me and stared yes he...
Bumped me,
My heart was unprepared when he...
Tapped me,
And knocked me off my feet, one little
touch now my life's complete 'cause
when he...
Nudged me,
Love put me in a fix yes it...
Hit me,
Just like a tonne of bricks, yes my
heart burst now I know what life's
about, one little touch and love's
knocked me out
and...
TRACY & ENSEMBLE:
[I can hear the bells,]
My head is spinning.
[I can hear the bells,]
Something's beginning.
Everybody says that a girl who looks
like me can't win his love well just
wait and see 'cause...
[I can hear the bells,]
Just hear them chiming,
[I can hear the bells,]
My temperature's climbing,
I can't contain my joy 'cause I've
finally found the boy I've been missin'
LISTEN!
I can hear the bells.
TRACY & ENSEMBLE:
Round 1,
He'll ask me on a date, and then...
Round 2,
I'll primp but won't be late, because
Round 3's
When we kiss inside his car!
Won't go all the way but I'll go pretty
fa-ar
Round 4,
He'll ask me for my hand, and then...
Round 5,
We'll book the wedding band, so by...
Round 6,
Amber, much to your surprise, this
heavy-weight champion takes the
prize and
TRACY & ENSEMBLE:
[I can hear the bells,]
My ears are ringing,
[I can hear the bells,]
The brides-maids are singing,
Everybody says that a guy who's such
a gem, won't look my way well the
laughs on them 'cause
[I can hear the bells,]
My father will smile,
[I can hear the bells,]
As he walks me down the isle,
My mother starts to cry but I can't see
'cause Link and I are french kissin'
LISTEN!
I can hear the bells.
TRACY & ENSEMBLE:
[I can hear the bells,]
My head is reeling,
[I can hear the bells,]
I can't stop the peeling,
Everybody warns that he won't like
what he'll see but I know that he'll
look inside of me yeah...
[I can hear the bells,]
Today's just the start 'cause,
[I can hear the bells and,]
Till death do us part and,
Even when we die we'll look down
from up above remembering the night
that we two fell in love, We both will
shed a tear and
he'll whisper as we're reminiscin'
LISTEN!
I can hear the bells,
I can hear the bells,
I can hear the bells.
AMBER: And what are you doing
here?
TRACY: I came to audition for
Corny. My name is Tracy Turnblad.
AMBER: (Witch laugh) Aren't you
usually in detention about now?
TRACY: I cut school to come down
here. Isn't that too cool? I’m sorry,
I’m a bit nervous, can I start over? It's
been my childhood dream to dance
on this show!
AMBER: Well, maybe you should
just go back to sleep! (Witch laugh)
SHELLEY: How many sweaters do
you have?
TRACY: Two..Five.. Oh wait! I have
Twenty!
GIRLS: AH! (Witch laugh)
AMBER: Do you dance like you
dress?
LINK: Amber, there’s no need to be
cruel.
VELMA: Would you swim in an
integrated pool?
*The music stops dead*
TRACY: I sure would. I'm all for
integration. It's the New Frontier.
VELMA: Not in Baltimore it isn't.
TRACY: Where’s Corny? I’d love to
dance for him.
VELMA: I am the producer. (Ms.
Baltimore Crabs) And may I be frank?
First impressions can be tough, and
when I saw you, I knew it. If you’re
size weren’t enough, your last answer
just blew it! And oh my dear, so short
and stout. You’ll never be in so we’re
kicking you out. With your form and
your face, well it isn’t your fault.
You’re just down with a case with
Miss Baltimore Crabs. You’re free to
go.
TRACY: Uh, thank you?
PENNY: I could tell, they secretly
liked you!
(Little Inez runs in)
LITTLE INEZ: Hello ma’am, may I
please audition?
VELMA: HA! And I wanna be 18
again. Of course you may not. Jeez,
these black people.
*Lights fade out*
V.DETENTION
TRACY: Why do they have to be so
mean? You’re short, you’re stout,
you’re not council material. Will they
give me a chance? Encouragement?
Appreciation? No, all I ever hear is…
PRINCIPAL: Tracy Turnblad once
again your monumental hairdo has
seriously obstructed everyone’s view
of the blackboard! As principal,
thereby, hereby and forthwith, I am
condemning you to three more days
of detention.
TRACY: Why are they all against
me? I wear the latest fashions; I keep
up with all the styles. I’m teasing my
hair as high as I can! Is there no pity
for a teenager just trying to fit in?
SEAWEED: Maybe you shouldn’t try
so hard?
TRACY: Excuse me. You get
detention just about every time I do,
and I’ve never heard you complain.
SEAWEED: Oh, but I do. This is my
way of complaining. (Seaweed
turns on a small transmitter radio.
Music starts and he does a soulful
little dance.) It is how I use my
blues.
*Detroit Music*
BERT: Use, them blues brother. You
gotta use ‘em to lose ‘em.
TRACY: You move so swift!
SEAWEED: Here’s a little
something-something signified to
say, “Hello, my name is Seaweed J.
Stubbs.” What’s yours baby?
TRACY: That’s unbelievable! Can I
do that?
SEAWEED: I don’t know. Can you?
(They dance together)
TRACY: Hi. I’m Tracy Turnblad.
BLACK STUDENTS: Ohhh
SEAWEED: Hey hey now. Ain’t no
black and white in here. Detention is
a rainbow experience.
(They still dance)
TRACY: What is that step?
SEAWEED: Now this is what I call
“Peyton Place over Midnight”. I use
it to attract the opposite sex. (Tracy
jumps in with him) Fearless girl. You
really got it going on!
TRACY: Yes! This programs joining
you already in progress.
Oh my god! I just realized who you
are! Your mom is Mortormouth
Maybelle, you dance on Negro Day!
Negro Day is the best! I wish
everyday is Negro Day.
SEAWEED: At our house, it is!
TRACY: Oh hey! Corny Collins is
hosting the sophomore hop
tomorrow night. If he saw me dance
like this with you, maybe he’d put
me on the show!
GILBERT: If you 2 dance together in
public the only thing you will be
getting on is the 11 o’clock news.
PRINCIPAL: Tracy Turnblad!
Laughing! Smiling! Dancing in
Detention! You can kiss the hopes of
college goodbye. From now on I’m
placing you in Special Ed… with the
rest of these... characters!
TRACY: Special Ed? With them?
Yes!
*School bell rings*
*Characters drag whiteboard and
chairs away*
VI. SPRING FLING
*Corny Collins Show opening tune
plays*
*COUNCIL MEMBERS Enter*
*Opening Tune stops*
CORNY: Hey, there, sophomores
and sophomores at heart. I’m
honored to be your host on tonights
Spring Fling here at PPHS. So with
no further ado-do, let’s do do some
dancing!
(Everyone starts dancing Madison)
TRACY: Hurry, Seaweed! The song’s
already started!
SEAWEED: You keep your eye on
Corny! This could be your big
chance.
TRACY: Look, they’re doing the
Madison. My favourite!
(Lil Inez tries to run to the front)
SEAWEED: Hey now baby girl. You
stay right here.
LITTLE INEZ: How come we always
have to dance in the back?
SEAWEED: I don’t know. There is
them and there is us. It is just the
way it is.
LINK: *approaches Tracy* Hey!
Haven’t we met somewhere?
TRACY: Ohmigod! Link Larkin
actually spoke to me! I will never
wash this ear again! Hi Corny!
CORNY: Hey cupcake! What is your
name?
TRACY: I’m Tracy Turnblad. (She
does her “My name is” step.)
CORNY: What else do you got under
those buster browns?
TRACY: Here’s something I picked
up from detention. It’s called the
“Peyton Place after Midnight”. I use
it to attract the opposite sex.
SEAWEED: Hey! Check it out
everybody!
EVERYBODY (Not all at once):
Ooh. Oh no. Dang Girl!
CORNY: Look at her go!
LINK: That girl is as free as the wind.
SEAWEED: Nice one, Trace!
AMBER: Everybody stop liking her!
CORNY: And that Baltimorians, is
how we do The Madison.
Let’s take it home everybody!
*Lights dim*
*Straight to the Corny Collins
Show*
*Spotlight on Corny*
*Opening Song Plays*
CORNY: Hey there teenage
Baltamore! You’re just in time for
the Corny Collins Show!
PENNY: Hurry, Mr. Turnblad! Hurry
Mrs. Turnblad! Come see what’s on
TV!
WILBUR: Penny Pingleton, this
better be good!
PENNY: It is!
ALL: Roll Call!
AMBER: Amber! Brad, Tammy,
Fender, Brenda, Sketch, Shelly, IQ,
Lou Ann
LINK: Link!
TRACY: And I’m Tracy!!!!!!!!!!!
CORNY:
So, if every night you're shaking
As you lie in bed
(Go Tracy! Go, go, go, go, go, Tracy!)
And the bass and drums
Are pounding in your head
(bop-bee-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba, bee-ba)
Who cares about sleep
When you can snooze in school?
They'll never get to college
But they sure look cool
Don't need a cap and a gown
['Cause they're the nicest Kids in
town]
[They're the nicest. nicest]
[They're the nicest, nicest]
They're the sugar 'n' spicest, The
nicest kids in... Kids in town!
CORNY: Yea! Please welcome our
new cast member Ms. Tracy
Turnblad!
EDNA: Oh, my word! Tracy! On our
TV!
WILBUR: I think I have seen her
before!
PENNY: And she is going to be a
regular.
EDNA: Imagine my little girl, regular
at last.
PENNY: Hi Tracy! It’s me Penny!
EDNA: She can’t hear you! (The
phone rings) Hello? Yes this is her
childhood home. No I am not her
father!
CORNY: So let’s say goodbye to
Brenda… and Hello to Tracy! So
Trrraaacy, tell us about yourself.
TRACY: Well, I go to Patterson Park
High, I watch your show, and I do
absolutely nothing else! But
someday I hope to be the first
woman president. You have to think
big to be big! Hi Daddy!
CORNY: And as president, what
would your first official act be be?
TRACY: To make every day Negro
Day!
SPRITZER: AHHH (walks off the
stage and Velma follows)
CORNY: I’ll read you in tomorrow’s
headlines! What do you say kids?
Look’ like we have a new candidate
for Miss Teenage Hairspray?
AMBER: What No! (Steals mic) She
can’t. I mean. She’s the before the
diet plane and I’m the After. After
always wins.
CORNY: Amber! What a comedian.
So what do you say Tracy. Would
you like Link Larkin to sing a song
just for you?
AMBER: You people are ignoring
the laws of nature!
CORNY: Always the charmer,
Amber. So, Tracy?
TRACY: Would I? Would I?
CORNY: Link Larkin, our own Elvis
will now sing his own version of this
week’s top 40, It takes two.
(Crowd applauds, Girls screaming)
AMBER: Seriously? MOTHER!
COUNCIL GUYS:
Oooh
It takes two
Oooh
Doo doo, wop!
LINK:
They say it's a man's world
Well, that cannot be denied
But what good's a man's world
Without a woman by his side?
And so I will wait
Until that moment you decide
LINK & GUYS: (It takes two)
That I'm your man
And you're my girl LINK:
That I'm the sea It takes two, baby
And you're the pearl
It takes two, baby (Tracy Hyperventilates)
It takes two
Doo doo - wop! TRACY & LINK:
It takes two
LINK:
A king ain't a king (Tracy kisses Link on cheeks as
Without the power behind the throne Link looked to the camera.)
A prince is a pauper, babe
Without a chick to call his own VELMA: And we’re off!
So please, darling, choose me
I don't wanna rule alone SPRITZER: Mrs. Von Tussle, we
Tell me must talk!
LINK & GUYS: VELMA: Shall we?
I'm your king
And you're my queen SPRITZER: Mrs. Von Tussle. Negro
That no one else day? ..Every day? That chubby
Can come between communist girl just kissed that boy
It takes two, baby on his possibly parted lips! Ultra
It takes two clutch and controversy do NOT mix.
GUYS: CORNY: Chubby girls and negros
Don't you know buy hairspray too, Mr. Spritzer.
SPITZER: Mrs. Von Tussle, how do
LINK: you plan to handle this?
Lancelot had Guinevere
Mrs. Claus has old St. Nick VELMA: I plan to start by firing him!
Romeo had Juliet
And Liz, well, she has her Dick CORNY: You can’t fire Corny Collins
from The Corny Collins Show.
They say it takes two to tango
Well, that tango's child's play VELMA: Why not? They do it all the
So take me to the dance floor time on Lassie.
And we'll twist the night away
CORNY: Mr. Spritzer to keep your
Just like Frankie Avalon audience, you must keep up with
Has his favorite musketeer times. Putting Tracy on is just one of
I dream of a lover, babe my ideas.
To say the things I long to hear
So come closer, baby SPITZER: I’m getting one of my sick
Oh, and whisper in my ear headaches. Is there a place where I
can lie down?
TRACY:
Yeah! VELMA: There’s a bed in my room.
LINK: (with Tracy) (SPITZER exits)
Tell me that you're my girl
(I'm your girl) VELMA: So you’ve got ideas, do
And I'm your boy you? And going behind my back to
(You're my boy) put this no talent Commie on the
That you're my pride show is one of them?
(You're my pride)
And I'm your joy CORNY: Damn right, Velma. It’s
(I'm your joy) time we put kids on the show who
That I'm the sand look like the kids who watch the
(I'm the sand) show.
And you're the tide
(You're the tide) VELMA: Not while I’m producing it.
I'll be the groom
(Be the groom) CORNY: I was thinking it might be
If you'll be my bride the time to change that, too.
(I'll be your bride)
It takes two, baby VELMA: Are you threatening me,
(It takes two) Collins?
It takes two
CORNY: Aw, you know me, Velma.
On the other hand, I could always
take the show to Channel 11. (Exits
laughing)
VELMA:
Oh my god
That snake that sings
He's a puppet
But I hold the purse and the strings
I knew Negro Day
Would bring chaos and change
Now he's pushing this pinko
Who might give us all mange
She's a blemish, a blackhead
That must be expelled
There's a standard of beauty
That must be upheld
You can say I'm a bigot
But it just isn't true
Look, I love Sammy Davis
And he's black and a Jew!
But they better get set
For a full-out assault
They should never have boiled
Miss Baltimore Crabs!
VII: WELCOME TO THE 60’s
EDNA: (on the phone) Yes, thank
you so much! I’m sure Tracy
appreciates your vote for Miss
Teenage Hairspray also. Yes. She
loves you too. Very much whoever
you are!
(Tracy enters)
TRACY: *excited* Mama did you
see?! Did you see me mom?!
EDNA: Of course I did! It was on
television! I had to! The phone has
been ringing like we are a telethon!
TRACY: So are you mad?
EDNA: Mad? How could I be mad?
You are famous Tracy! I am so proud
of you!
TRACY: Yes mama and I think I am
in love!
EDNA: I know, I have been
following.
(Phone rings)
EDNA: There it goes again!
TRACY: Hello? Yes, this is Tracy
Turnblad. Hello, Mr. Pinky!
EDNA: Mr. Pinky? Mr. Pinky’s
Heefty Hidaway? Quality clothes for
quantity gals~ THAT Mr. Pinky?!
TRACY: You wanna hire me as your
exclusive spokesgirl and fashion
effigy?
(Tracy covers mic of telephone and
both of them scream quietly.)
What’s an effigy?
EDNA: *whispers* I don’t know.
TRACY: That’s very flatting but of
course all these must go through my
agent. Thank you. We will be right
over, Mr. Pinky!
(She hangs up)
EDNA: Agent?! I don’t know any
agents!
TRACY: Well, duuh (Tracy points at
Edna)
EDNA: Who, Me? Tracy, I haven't
left this house in , in years
TRACY: Then isn't it time you did?
EDNA: Oh no Tracy. I don't wanna
be seen like this. The neighbours
haven't seen me since I was a size 10.
Don't make me do it Tracy
TRACY: Ma, it's changing out there.
You'll like it! People who are
different, their time is coming.
TRACY
Hey mama, hey mama, look around
Everybody's groovin' to a brand new
sound
Hey mama, hey mama, follow me
I know something's in you
That you wanna set free
So let so, go, go of the past now
Say hello to the love in your heart
Yes, I know that the world's spinning
fast now
You gotta get yourself a brand new
start
TRACY, DYNAMITES & ENSEMBLE
Hey mama, welcome to the 60's
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh mama, welcome to the 60's
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Go mama, go, go, go!
DYNAMITES & ENSEMBLE
Welcome to the 60's
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
Hey mama, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Yeah, yeah, yeah
TRACY
Hey mama, hey mama, take my hand
EDNA
But first let's make a pit stop at the
wiener stand
TRACY
Hey mama, hey mama, take a chance
EDNA
Oh Tracy, it's been years
Since someone asked me to dance
TRACY
So let go, so, go of the past now
Say hello to the light in your eyes
Yes, I know that the world's
Spinning fast now, but you gotta run
the race
To win the prize
TRACY, DYNAMITES &, ENSEMBLE
Hey mama, welcome to the 60's
Oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh mama, welcome to the 60's
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Go mama, go, go, go!
DYNAMITES & ENSEMBLE
Welcome to the 60's
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
Hey mama, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Yeah, yeah, yeah
MR. PINKY: Free Jelly Doughnuts
while they last. Eat them up Girls, I
have tons. What’s happening?
TRACY: Hi Mr. Pinky. I’m Tracy.
MR.PINKY: There’s my shining Star.
Television doesn’t capture half of
you.
EDNA: Oh Mr. Pinky. You certainly
picked a lovely girl to put the plus in
your plus sizes.
MR.PINKY: Oh Tracy, who’s this,
your gorgeous big sister?
EDNA: Oh. Oh. Stop I’m not her big
sister I’m…
MR.PINKY: 54 Double D?
EDNA: Triple E.
MR.PINKY:
Oh mama I hit the mother load! Step
inside let’s make a deal.
TRACY, DYNAMITES & ENSEMBLE
Your mama's welcoming the sixties
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh your mama's welcoming the
sixties
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Go, mama, go, go, go
DYNAMITES
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh
Oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh
Go mama, go, go, go!!
*LIGHTS OFF*
--END OF ACT I--
VIII. SCATTER BALL
GYM TEACHER: Gather up,
students! Brace yourselves to scatter
dodge ball.
AMBER: You know, I heard they put
Tracy in Special Ed! (Witches’ laugh)
LouAnn: I heard she was caught at
the back of a car with two boys.
(Witches’ r shookt)
AMBER: Okay! That’s true. Tracy
Turnblad is fast and slow at the
same time (Witches’ laugh). Link,
how could you let that bee-hived
buffalo kiss you... on air?
LINK: That was just for show
Amber… and don’t call her mean
things.
(Tracy enters with Special Ed)
BRAD: Here they come now…
SPECIAL EEED!
SEAWEED: Come over here Tracy,
this game can get pretty vicious.
TRACY: What is scatter dodge ball
anyway?
SEAWEED: It’s sort of like a protest
rally. We all gather until the police
show up, then you better scatter and
dodge! (the detention people will
shout the underlined line)
PENNY: (coming to Tracy) Hi Tracy.
Sorry about your special Ed-ness.
(noticing Seaweed) Oh. Hello.
TRACY: Seaweed, this is my best
friend, Penny Lou Pingleton.
SEAWWED: Hmmm, I think I have
seen you before, at the lollipop
machine.
PENNY: I do 10 every day.
SEAWEED: Hmm, all of that sucking
must make your mouth mighty
strong!
PENNY: Not really, maybe, just
average.
AMBER: Well, well, well, if it isn’t
Tracy Tugboat. WOOT WOOT.
Wow, seems like you finally found a
title you can win —Miss Special Ed! (
laughter)
LINK: Knock it off Amber!
TRACY: Amber Von Tussle, you
have acne of the soul.
GYM TEACHER: *Whistles*
Students Commence!
(Students scatter and throw ball at
each other)
AMBER: Hey thunder thighs! Dodge
this!
TRACY: You throw like a girl.
SEAWEED: Hey, no fair throwing at
the head! (someone throws ball at
Seaweed)
AMBER: Eat dodge ball Trampy
Ton-o-lard!
(Amber get near Tracy to hit her
head then falls over and faints in
slow motion)
GYM TEACHER: *Whistle* Game
over kids. Back to class.
(everyone leaves except for
Amber, Link, Seaweed and Tracy)
LINK: Amber, that wasn’t necessary.
AMBER: Poor Tracy, it’s so tragic
that I forgot to cry. Come along Link.
I will be waiting underneath the
bleachers.
*dead silence*
AMBER: I said come, Link.
LINK: In a minute.
PENNY: Tracy, are you dead?
SEAWEED: I better get the school
nurse.
PENNY: I’ll go with you!
LINK: Tracy? Tracy? Are you alright?
Gee, you are beautiful when you are
unconscious.
*ting ting bells*
I can hear… the bells?
TRACY: Where am I?
LINK: Oh. For a second there it
looked like “Teen Angel” time.
TRACY: Wherever I am, no one
change the channel.
LINK: You have a funny way of
putting things. I like that.
SEAWEED: *they enter* The nurse
is out. But we got a band-aids and Q-
Tips…and a rubber.
PENNY: He’s SO nurturing.
TRACY: Oh, Link this is my friend
Seaweed.
LINK: H-how you doin?
SEAWEED: How you doin?
PENNY: (to TRACY) How are you
doing?
TRACY: How do you think? I just got
creamed in front of the entire
school.
SEAWEED: I know what will make
you feel better. Trace, my moms
pitching a platter party at our record
shop up on North Avenue. Wanna
come "check it out"?
PENNY: I too am not feeling good.
May I also come check it out?
SEAWEED: Oh, you surely may!
LINK: I've never been to North
Avenue before would it be safe up
there for, you know... us?
SEAWEED: Break it down mah
cracker man, I got more to worry
about down here than you do up
there.
PENNY: Imagine, being invited
places by colored people!
TRACY: I feels so hip!
SEAWEED: I'm glad you feel that
way, friends, 'cause not everybody
does.
SEAWEED:
I can't see
Why people look at me
And only see the color of my face
And then there's those
That try to help, god knows
But have to always put me in my
place
Now I won't ask you to be color blind
'Cause if you pick the fruit
Then girl, you're sure to find...
The blacker the berry
The sweeter the juice
I could say it ain't so
But darlin', what's the use?
The darker the chocolate
The richer the taste
And that's where it's at...
now run and tell that!!
ENSEMBLE: Run and tell that!
SEAWEED: Run and tell that!
ENSEMBLE: Run and tell that!
SEAWEED (& ENSEMBLE): I can't
see
Why people disagree
Each time I tell them what I know is
true
And if you come
And see the world I'm from I bet your
heart is gonna feel it too
Yeah I could lie
But baby let's be bold
Vanilla can be nice
But if the truth be told...
The blacker the berry
The sweeter the juice
You could say it ain't so
But darlin', what's the use
The darker the chocolate
The richer the taste
And that's where it's at
Now run and tell that!!
(Seaweed kisses his 2 fingers and
presses them against Penny’s lips.
She faints)
ENSEMBLE: Run and tell that!
*BG rotates to Motormouth
Records*
*Song continues at the record
shop*
LI'L INEZ: Hey, you're Tracy! You're
my favorite dancer on the Corny
Collins Show.
SEAWEED: This’s my sister, Li'l Inez.
TRACY: Yeah, I saw you at the
auditions.
LI'L INEZ: Well you’re the only one
who did 'cause they kicked me out on
my young, gifted and black behind.
SEAWEED: Give ‘em some baby!
LI'L INEZ: I'm tired of coverin' up all
my pride
SEAWEED & ENSEMBLE: So give
me five on the black-hand side
LI'L INEZ:
I've got a new way of movin'
And I got my own voice
SEAWEED & ENSEMBLE:
So how can I help
But to shout and rejoice
LI'L INEZ:
The people 'round here
Can barely pay their rent
They're try'n to make a dollar
Out 'a fifteen cent
But we got a spirit
Money just can’t buy
LI'L INEZ & ENSEMBLE:
It's deep as a river
It soars to the sky!!
SEAWEED & ENSEMBLE:
I can’t see
The reason it can’t be
The kinda world where we all get our
chance
The time is now
And we can show them how
To turn the music up and let's all
dance
'Cause all things are equal
When it comes to love
Well, that ain't quite true
'Cause when push comes to shove...
Akyat si Seaweed sa table)
The blacker the berry
The sweeter the juice
I could say it ain't so
But darlin', what's the use
The darker the chocolate
The richer the taste
That's where it's at
SEAWEED :...Now run and tell that!!
ENSEMBLE: Run and tell that!
SEAWEED: Run and tell that!!
MOTORMOUTH: There are platters
of tunes and food on the table. What
else would you expect from..
ALL: Motormouth Maybelle!
SEAWEED: Mama, I brought some
friends. Link, Tracy and..
PENNY: Hi. I’m Penny Lou Pingleton
and I am very pleased and scared to
be here.
MOTORMOUTH: Well aren’t you a
cutie.
TRACY: This is just so Afro-tastic.
May I just say how thrilled I am to
meet you Mrs. Motormouth. I never
miss your show.
MOTORMOUTH: Oh, and I’ve
enjoyed you at Corny’s.
TRACY: Well, that’s all thanks to
Seaweed.
MOTORMOUTH: Isn’t that nice of
you to say. Now, ya’ll come on in
now and lets all dance.
(they play music)
TRACY: Why can’t we dance all
together like this on TV?
MOTORMOUTH: Oh, You think we
haven’t tried? We’ve pleaded,
begged and lied. We pressured the
Mayor and even petitioned the
Governor and what do we get?
ALL: Negro Day!
MOTORMOUTH: And that’s just
once a month.
(Music starts to play. Door opens
and Amber comes in)
AMBER: AIIIIEEEEEE! WHAT? LINK!
What are you doing in this huge
group of minorities?
LINK: Trying to fit in. Uh. We are
having a blast. Come jump in!
(Door opens again and Velma
enters)
VELMA: AAAIIIIEEEEE (imitates
amber because you know like
mother like daughter) AMBER! My
baby! Has anyone touched you?
MOTORMOUTH: Y’all better hustle!
‘Cause here is Von Tussle.
VELMA: Motormouth, are you
brainwashing these children?
TRACY: We’re only dancing.
VELMA: Oh, I should have known
that you’d be at the bottom of this
barrel.
(Door opens again. Edna enters
with a take-out bag)
EDNA: AHHH Tracy! That was you I
saw. Wilbur they are here!
TRACY: Mama, what are you doing
here?
EDNA: I had a sudden craving for
chicken and waffles, so we drove up
to Ruby’s Take-Out across the way.
Hello everyone! I am Tracy’s mother.
VELMA: Ha! So you’re what
spawned that!
EDNA: Excuse me?
VELMA: I guess you two are living
proof that the watermelon doesn’t
roll very far from the vine.
EDNA: Tracy, be a dear and hold
mommy’s waffles. (Door opens and
Wilbur enters)
WILBUR: All right! A party! Anyone
for chicken and waffles?
ZARA: If we get anymore white
people in here it will be a suburb.
VELMA: Come on, Amber. Let’s get
back to the right side of the tracks, if
our cars are still there.
AMBER: LINK COME!
LINK: Amber, you are being rude to
these people.
VELMA: Amber. Come!
AMBER: I said, Link come!
LINK: Amber, Go!
AMBER: What ever happened to the
spiceless, spineless boy I fell in love
with? Mother, come!
VELMA: With pleasure. (They exit)
EDNA: I didn’t care for them.
LITTLE INEZ: Are all white people
like that?
WILBUR: No no no…just most.
TRACY: Well, I know how we can
start changing that. If kids saw us
dancing together on TV, they’d
realize that we are not so different
after all.
SEAWEED: You saying that you and
Link will be willing to dance with us
on Negro Day?
LINK: (Getting nervous) Tracy…
TRACY: No. We are not going to
dance on Negro Day. You are going
to crash White day!
MOTORMOUTH: Hold up. White
day is every day. You have to be
more specific.
TRACY: Oh it’s mother daughter
day on the show. How’s that for
specific. Think, Mrs. Motormouth
you work for the station, they could
never turn you and Lil Inez away.
And once the two of you break the
barrier, we’ll all be free to dance on
TV.
SEAWEED: That thinking’s
downright revolutionary.
LITTLE INEZ: We’ll set out sparks
like Rosa Parks.
MOTORMOUTH: Wait. Hold on now
children, it ain’t that easy. What if
they call the cops?
TRACY: Then we’ll walk to the show
together. There’s Link and me. I’m
sure we can get others. Without
dancers they’ve got no show.
ZARA: You got that right!
LINK: (pulling Tracy aside) No
Tracy, you can’t. They’ll fire you for
sure. We’ll “if” it’s just me, but if it’s
all of us…
LINK: I can’t. I’m sorry. I like these
people. But whether or not they
dance on TV won’t get me a
recording contract. I’m not like you.
You’ve got brains and personality,
Talent! Me? Ms. Hairspray contest is
my one chance to be seen
nationwide. I’m not throwing away
my shot.
TRACY: So you don’t think
segregation is wrong?
LINK: Sure. I guess. But why does it
have to be my problem? C’mon, I’m
leaving and you should too.
TRACY: Stay, please. Link, you and
me together. I’m just starting to
think…
LINK: Me too. But, I don’t know. It’s
just so complicated. And then
there’s Amber.
I’m sorry, Tracy. (He exits)
PENNY: Tracy, I’m so sorry.
TRACY: Oh momma! How could I
think that Link Larkin could ever do
this to someone like me?
EDNA: Why wouldn’t he? You are a
beautiful girl.
It is just that…boys are not the
brightest things. Give him time. I’m
sure he’ll figure out that he is crazy
about you.
TRACY: You have to say that. You
are my mother.
EDNA: I’m more than your mother. I
am a woman in love and we know
this stuff.
WILBUR: But, Tracy is he right?
Should you be risking your career?
TRACY: I wouldn’t have ever gotten
on that show if it weren’t for
Seaweed. No, it’s payback time.
WILBUR: That’s my girl.
TRACY: Okay. So this is how it’s
going to go. Tomorrow, everyone
bring your mothers.
PENNY: and daughters
TRACY: …and meet around the
corner from the studio and.. AND
make signs.
PENNY: and put words on them!
TRACY: Mrs. Motormouth, you and
Little Inez will walk in first. Me and
Mama will be right behind you.
EDNA: Excuse me?
TRACY: They will never be able to
shove them out the door with us
blocking it.
EDNA: I am sorry but no one said
anything about me on Television! I
am sorry but I simply cannot appear
on television at my current weight.
MOTORMOUTH: Uh! What’s weight
got to do with it now? Ain’t nobody
tossed this sofa to the curve for
being too comf’table.
EDNA: Oh, but, Mrs.um.. ugh..
Motorboat you’re a celebrity while
I’m a simple housewife with
indeterminate girth.
MOTORMOUTH: The bigger the
girth sweetheart the more you’re
worth. Now Mr. Turnblad c’mon up
here. Now tell me, you don’t mind
that your Misis is Ample Americana.
WILBUR: Not at all! I think of her as
a Prime real estate *Rrrar*.
MOTORMOUTH: All right now! You
preach that to the choir!
MOTORMOUTH:
Once upon a time
Girl, I was just like you
Never let my extra large
Largesse shine through
Hair was brown and nappy
Never had no fun
I hid under a bushel
Which is easier said than done
Then one day my grandma
Who was big and stout
She said you gotta love yourself
From inside out
And just as soon as I learned
How to strut my funky stuff
I found out that the world at large
Can't get enough, so...
MOTORMOUTH
Bring on that pecan pie
Pour some sugar on it
Sugar, don't be shy
Scoop me up a mess
Of that chocolate swirl
Don't be stingy
I'm a growing girl
I offer big love
With no apology
How can I deny the world
The most of me
I am not afraid
To throw my weight around
Pound by pound by pound
Because I'm
MOTORMOUTH
Big, black and beautiful
There is nothin' 'bout me
That's unsuitable
No one wants a meal
That only offers the least
When girl we're servin' up
The whole damn feast
[Verse 2: MOTORMOUTH]
Slice off a piece
Of that hog head cheese
Then take a look inside
My book of recipes
Now, don't you sniff around
For something fluffy and light
I need a man who brings
A man-size appetite
I'll use a pinch of sugar
And a dash of spice
I'll let ya lick the spoon
Because it tastes so nice
I keep it in my oven
'Til it's good and hot
Keep on stirring 'til it hits the spot
Because I'm
MOTORMOUTH
Big, black and beautiful
And Edna, girl, you're lookin' so
recruitable
Why sit in the bleachers
Timid and afraid when Edna
You can be your own parade
TRACY
So? How 'bout it, Mama?
EDNA
Well, I am big, I am blonde, and if you
say I'm beautiful...
WILBUR
You're beautiful! Ruff!
EDNA
Alright, I'll do it! (signs are taken out)
MOTORMOUTH
Yeah, look out old Baltimore
We're marching in
'And we ain't shufflin'
Through that old back door
EDNA
And Tracy, I will join the fight
If I can keep up this pace
WILBUR
And girls, I'll be right at your side
If I can find some space
MOTORMOUTH
So they can gaze in wonder
As you're spreadin' your wings
You know that it ain't over
'Til the fat lady sings
Tomorrow, side by side
We'll show the world what's right
EDNA
Then we'll have chicken parmigiana
tonight
MOTORMOUTH
Then we'll be big, black and beautiful
It's time to face the fact
It's irrefutable
Can't ya hear that rumbling?
That's our hunger to be free
It's time to finally taste
Equality
COUNCIL MEMBERS / MOMS
On mother, daughter day
Where thin is in, we're white as wool
MOTORMOUTH
Well, ladies, big is back
And as for black, it's beautiful
All shapes and sizes, follow me
EDNA: Let's bust their chops
VELMA: Quick, call the cops!
MOTORMOUTH: We're gonna dance
our way to victory!
COUNCIL MEMBERS / MOMS: Stay
away, this isn't Negro Day
GANG / LEADS: 2, 4, 6, 8, TV'S got
to integrate
MOTORMOUTH: We're here today
EDNA: We're here to stay!
VELMA: Arrest that one!
TRACY: Link, help me, please!
MOTORMOUTH: Oh no! No, no
Tracy!
*Lights fade away*
IX. WITHOUT LOVE
(Half of the stage is Tracy’s Jail Cell
and half is Penny’s bedroom.)
*Crash sound*
TRACY: Who’s there?! You better not
try anything, I’ve got... I’ve got half a
grilled cheese sandwich.
LINK: Trace... It is me, Link! Gee, you
look beautiful behind bars.
TRACY: Well it must be the low watt
institutional lighting.
LINK: Trace, could you forgive me? I
was wrong. Wrong about everything!
Of course, I care about our friends and
I’ll do anything I can to help. When I
thought I lost you, I couldn’t sleep, I
couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sing….
TRACY: You couldn’t EAT!?
LINK: No. So I went down to the
station to tell Mrs. Von Tussle that I’m
dropping the Miss Hairspray
Broadcast.
TRACY: You did?
LINK: I did and uh.. I know a palooka
like me isn’t worthy of a ground
breaking extremist like you, but…
*pulls out ring* … it’s a little broken
from Amber throwing it in my face
when I told her I’d rather be with you.
So… would you consider wearing my
ring?
TRACY: Would I? Would I?
LINK: “To lose thee were to lose
myself.” Some kid named Milton
wrote that in the third-floor boys’
room.
TRACY: OOH I HAVE A WONDERFUL
LIFE! Great parents, my own room,
stacks of 45s, plus a learner’s permit
good through August. But you know
what I’ve been missing, Link?
LINK: I think I do. (They try to kiss.)
Trace, they can keep us from kissing,
but they can’t stop us from singing.
LINK
Once I was a selfish fool who never
understood
Never looked inside myself, but on the
outside, I looked good!
Then we met and you made me the
man I am today
Tracy, I'm in love with you, no matter
what you weigh, 'cause
Without love, life is like the seasons
with no summer
Without love, life is rock 'n' roll
without a drummer
Tracy, I'll be yours forever 'cause I
never wanna be without love
Tracy, never set me free, no, I ain't
lyin'
Never set me free, Tracy, no, no, no
TRACY
Once I was a simple girl, then stardom
came to me
But I was still a nothing, though a everywhere ya go (The 2 couples hug)
thousand fans may disagree Who'd've thought I'd love a girl with
ENSEMBLE skin as white as winter's snow? PRUDY: (enters and sees
Tracy! SEAWEED and PENNY holding
TRACY PENNY each other) OH MY GOD! A BLACK
Fame was just a prison, signing In my ivory tower, life was just a BOY’S GOT MY DAUGHTER. Haaa.
autographs a bore hostess snack
I didn't have a clue 'til you came But now I've tasted chocolate and I'm ENSEMBLE
banging on my door never going back 'Cause without love
PENNY & SEAWEED
Now without love, life is like my dad 'Cause without love SEAWEED
without his bromo Life is like a prom that won't invite
Without love, life is making out to SEAWEED us
Perry Como Life is like a beat that you can't follow ENSEMBLE
Darling, I'll be yours forever 'cause I 'Cause without love
never wanna be without love PENNY & SEAWEED
Without love LINK
So darling, throw away the key, I'm It's like getting my big break and
yours forever PENNY laryngitis
Throw away the key, yeah, yeah, Life is Doris Day at the Apollo
yeah ENSEMBLE
PENNY & SEAWEED 'Cause without love
(The lights dim on the jail and Darling, I'll be yours forever
brighten on PENNY’s bedroom. 'Cause I never wanna be PENNY
PRUDY is tying PENNY to the Life's a '45' when you can't buy it
bed.) PENNY without love
Without love
PRUDY: Penny Lou Pingleton, you ENSEMBLE
are absolutely, positively, SEAWEED 'Cause without love
permanently punished. This one’s So darling, never set me free
for being willful. TRACY
PENNY & SEAWEED Life is like my mother on a diet!
*The phone rings.* I'm yours forever, never set me free,
no, no, no ALL
Why is it every time you tie your Like a week that's only Mondays
daughter up, the phone rings? LINK Only ice cream, never sundaes
If you're locked up in this prison, Like a circle with no center
(PRUDY exits just as SEAWEED Trace, I don't know what I'll do Like a door marked, 'Do Not Enter'
appears in the window.)
TRACY Darling, I'll be yours forever, 'cause I
Hello? What am I wearing? Link, I've got to break out, so that I never wanna be without love
can get my hands on you
SEAWEED: Psst! Penny! PENNY
SEAWEED Yes, now you've captured me
PENNY: Seaweed! Shhh! Don’t let And girl, if I can't touch you now, I'm
my mother hear you. She’s gonna lose control ENSEMBLE
punishing me for going to jail Without love
without her permission. PENNY
Seaweed, you're my black white TRACY & SEAWEED
SEAWEED: I’ve come to rescue the knight, I've found my blue-eyed soul I surrender happily
fair maiden from her tower.
ALL ENSEMBLE
PENNY: Oh, Seaweed, you do care! Sweet freedom is our goal Without love
I was worried it was just a lonely
forbidden teenage fantasy LINK PENNY
. Trace, I wanna kiss ya! Oh Seaweed, never set me free, no,
SEAWEED: From the first moment I no, no
saw you, I knew that even the TRACY
colours of our skin couldn’t keep us Then I can't wait for parole! TRACY & LINK
apart. No, I ain't lyin'
( She breaks the bars )
(Struggling with the rope.) PENNY & SEAWEED
LINK: Woah! How did you do that?! Never set me free, no, no, no
But, damn, these knots are tight. TRACY: Ha! New budget cuts.
Was your mother in the navy? LINK: Oh, Tracy! PENNY
No, I don't wanna live without love,
PENNY: Hurry, Seaweed! TRACY: Oh, Link! love, love

SEAWEED SEAWEED: Oh, Penny! ALL

Living in the ghetto, black is
Darling, you had best believe me
Never leave me without love!
(They walk out of the Stage)
XI: THE PLAN
(THE RECORD SHOP)
MOTORMOUTH: It’s a mess out
there.
TINE: Ms. Motormouth, look! Now
it’s on channel 2.
(She turns up the sound on the
TV.)
(Insert news sound)
V.O.: ...Elsewhere in local news,
teenage TV personality and radical
extremist, Tracy Turnblad, has
escaped from the Baltimore
Women’s House of Detention.
Authorities say she may have been
aided by the once promising,
teenager heartthrob, Link Larkin. If
sighted, citizens are asked to notify
police or, if phone service is not
available, simply shoot to kill. In
entertainment news, Eva Marie is no
saint…
*switching off the TV*
*door opens, raining sound*
MOTORMOUTH: Who’s out there?
LINK: (entering with TRACY) Hey,
Ms. Motormouth. Is it okay we stay
here? I broke Tracy out of jail.
ROBERT: We know. It’s been on all
three channels.
TRACY: The jailbreak was easy
compared to getting a cab to this
side of town
MOTORMOUTH: As long as you’re
safe. Now…you’re Penny right?
LIL INEZ: Seaweed’s got a girlfriend.
SEAWEED: Is it okay that I brought
her home? I had to get her away
from her nasty ass mama.
MOTORMOUTH: Hush, now. Don’t
explain it. I saw the sparks between
the two of you the first time I saw
you dancing together.
PENNY: And you don’t mind?
MOTORMOUTH: Only a fool turns
their back on the gift of love.
Besides, this world is full of mess and
fools so you two better brace
yourselves for a whole lot of ugly
comin’ at you from a never-ending
parade of stupid.
PENNY: That’s okay. My mother’s
gonna kill me anyway.
LITTLE INEZ: No she won’t. She’ll
kill him
MOTORMOUTH: Inez. Okay since
we’re all here. We gotta get busy.
SEAWEED: You’re not talking about
getting back to the TV station.
MOTORMOUTH: Where will we
ever get another chance like this?
Miss Hairspray will be on national
TV.
SEAWEED: But last time, we…
MOTORMOUTH: This time we got
Corny and the studio guards backing
us up.
TRACY: (interrupting SEAWEED)
No, I’ve got to turn myself in and go
back to jail
LINK AND OTHERS: What?!
LITTLE INEZ: Say what?
LINK: Tracy, no.
TRACY: I can’t put all of you in any
more danger. We should’ve thought
more before we broke out. My
father could lose the Har-De-Har
Hut. And, Link, you could go to
prison for what you did tonight…
LINK: (pleading innocent) Just first
base in the back of the cab. I swear.
TRACY: …And Mr. Motormouth,
we’ve just been on three channels of
news; I don’t want you to get
arrested for harbouring a fugitive.
And, Penny…your mother will kill
you!
LITTLE INEZ: (impatiently
correcting again) Isn’t anyone
listening to me?! She’ll kill him!
TRACY: Anyway, this time it won’t
be like Mother-Daughter Day. Mrs.
Von Tussle said there’ll be armed
guards at the Eventorium.
PENNY: With arms.
TRACY: Someone could get shot.
ROBERT: And for what? Just so we
can dance on some Oh-fay show?
MOTORMOUTH: Hold it! Who said
this was just about dancing. You
know, nobody ever said this was
gonna be easy. If something’s worth
having, it’s worth fighting for. Tracy,
why did you start all this in the first
place?
TRACY: I wanted US, ALL OF US to
dance.. But I didn’t want to cause so
much trouble.
MOTORMOUTH: So you tried once
and you failed. We can’t get lazy
when things get crazy. Children. My
children. You were not the first to try
and you won’t be the last, but I am
here to tell you that I’m gonna keep
lining up, until someday somebody
breaks through. And I’ve been
looking at that door a lot longer than
any of you.
TRACY: What door?
MOTORMOUTH: The front door,
darling. Now. Let’s get busy.
*Lights Fade out*
XII. FINALE
(The Baltimore Eventorium. Lights
and music herald The Corny Collins
Spectacular.)
CORNY: (music) And now, live, from
the certified up-to-code Baltimore
Eventorium…for the first time ever
on nationwide television…it’s the
Corny Collins Spectacular…
COUNCIL MEMBERS: He’s Corny!
CORNY: …brought to you by Ultra
Clutch Hairspray!
What gets a girl power and punch?
Is it a charm? Is it a poise?
No, it's hairspray
What gets a gal asked out to lunch?
Is it brains? Is it dough?
No, it's hairspray
So, if you're a red head, a blonde, or
brunette
Just take my advice and you might
just get
(you might just get)
the only thing better than hairspray,
that's me
(He's Corny Collins)
The only thing better than hairspray,
that's me
Forget the milk man The only thing
better than hairspray, that's me
VELMA: And we’re off for network
commercial.
(A man in a hat and a fake nose
enters pushing a gigantic hairspray
can. VELMA approaches
suspiciously.)
VELMA: Um. Excuse me. Excusez- She's hard to miss and so to consume the title of Ms. Teenage
moi! What the heck is this?! They landed on her face Hairspray!

MAN (WILBUR): Product GIRLS CORNY: and so Ladies and

placement. The sponsor insists.
VELMA: Say, don’t I know you?
WILBUR: Honest, Velma, I’m a total
stranger.
(VELMA whips off his hat and
funny glasses to reveal WILBUR)
VELMA: You!
WILBUR: Damn!
VELMA: HA! Corny! Get the gaurds.
CORNY: Yip! Guard!
VELMA: What is this? Some kind of
Trojan Horse?
WILBUR: Not a chance.
VELMA: Well, if anyone’s hiding in
that can, thy will rot in that can.
Guard, if anybody so much as
touches that thing…open fire!
PEBS: (dressed as a guard wearing
a riot helmet) Understood, ma’am.
(PEBS pulls WILBUR off.)
WILBUR: You won this time Velma!
You’re one clever witch! I’ll tell you
that!
VELMA: OH get him outta here...
and coming back to Corny on
camera one in 3…2…
CORNY: And now for the talent
portion of the competition where
the frontrunner gals present a dance
of their own creation. Presently,
Amber Von Tussle and Tracy
Turnblad are neck and neck. But
since, according to the latest police
bulletins, Miss Turnblad is still at
large…
She's got cooties! Gentlemen. It is my obligation to say
AMBER & GUYS that AMBER VON TUSSLE...
Cooties
AMBER (Giant Hairspray Can turns)
They've found a place to nest
GUYS TRACY: …is about to get outdanced.
She's got cooties!
GIRLS CORNY: Tracy Turnblad everybody!
Cooties
TRACY
AMBER You can’t stop an avalanche
If I were her I'd be depressed As it races down the hill
Long-tailed, sharp nails You can try to stop the seasons, girl
Fuzzy legs, laying eggs But ya know you never will
And you can try to stop my dancin'
Come on everybody, let's stamp them feet
out!
But i just cannot stand still
COUNCIL MEMBERS Cause the world keeps spinnin'
She's got cooties! Round and round
And my heart's keeping time
AMBER To the speed of sound
In science class I was lost til i heard the drums
She's like a walking show-and-tell Then i found my way
COUNCIL MEMBERS TRACY & LINK
She's got cooties! Cause you can't stop the beat
AMBER Ever since this old world began
You know she's coming down the hall A woman found out if she shook it
From just her smell She could shake up a man
GUYS And so I'm gonna shake and shimmy
She's got cooties it
GIRLS The best that i can today
Cooties
'Cause you can’t stop
AMBER The motion of the ocean
Nobody wants to sit by her Or the sun in the sky
GUYS You can wonder if you wanna
She's got cooties But i never ask why
GIRLS
Cooties And if you try to hold me down
I'm gonna spit in your eye and say
AMBER That you can’t stop the beat!
Don't need a coat TRACY: They love you Link!
'Cause she's got fur! LINK: Not for long.. Inez! C’mon.
Circle, circle
Dot, dot, dot (Inez and Link ballroom)

AMBER: (leaning into the shot) At AMBER & COUNCIL MEMBERS CORNY: Give her a hand, folks!
very large. Hurry, get your cootie shot! Little Miss Inez Stubbs,

CORNY: …our Miss Hairspray might
just be a foregone conclusion. Still,
our rules say the contestant has to
dance for it. So, are you ready,
Amber?
AMBER: Ready as a rabbit on
Easter, Corny.
AMBER
Tracy Turnblad, this song is all about
you.
They came from way far out
In outer space
AMBER
Dresses like a circus clown
AMBER & COUNCIL MEMBERS
Somebody oughta hose her down
AMBER
Grew up in a cootie zoo
I bet her two-ton mama's got 'em too!
And that's for you!
AMBER: Oh! Thank you, America!
Thank you children! I am now ready
TRACY: OH! And may I introduce,
my friend, Miss Penny Lou
Pingleton! So, what do you have to
say, Penny?
PENNY: (Carried by black men)
I am now a checker boy chick!
PENNY
You can't stop a river
As it rushes to the sea
SEAWEED
You can try and stop the hands of
time
But ya know it just can't be
PENNY
And if they try to stop us, Seaweed,
I'll call the N Double A C P
Cause the world keeps spinning
Round and 'round (round)
And my heart's keeping time
To the speed of sound (speed of
sound)
I was lost til i heard the drums
Then i found my way
PENNY & SEAWEED
Cause you can't stop the beat
PENNY & SEAWEED
Ever since we first saw the light
A man and woman liked to shake it
On a saturday night
And so I'm gonna shake and shimmy
it
With all my might today
'Cause you can’t stop
The motion of the ocean
Or the rain from above
You can try to stop the paradise
We're dreamin' of
But you cannot stop the rhythm
Of two hearts in love to stay
Cause you can’t stop the beat!
(Penny and Seaweed fake kiss)
CORNY: Live television, there’s
nothing like it!
(Amber run across stage, to her
position)
CORNY: And now the moment
we’ve all been waiting for! As you
know, we’ve kept our lines open uo
for the last minute. Never in the
history of this pageant has there
been a surge of late voting.
Baltimore you picked the winner.
*Drum Roll*
(Amber comes up front)
And the new Little Miss Hairspray is..
Inez Stubbs!
*Shouting and music*
AMBER: what?!
MOTORMOUTH: (Surprised,
Happy, Overwhelmed) Inez! Inez,
my baby!
CORNY: How about that! C’mon
over her Little Inez!
MOTORMOUTH: Go there! My
baby! That’s my baby!! That’s my
baby!!
CORNY: Well, this makes you the
lead dancer on The Corny Collins
Show. Ladies and Gentle men, The
Corny Collins Show is now and
forevermore officially INTEGRATED!
*Shouting and Music *
*Light tones down and brightens
again*
*Music tones down, shouting*
CORNY: Last chance to join the
dance folks. Eveyone is welcome.
EDNA: Wilbur..
WILBUR: Do it now or forever wish
you had!
EDNA: Really?
WILBUR: Sure, baby. (Edna walks
to VELMA) Nobody can dance like
you!
EDNA
You can’t stop my happiness
Cause i like the way i am
And you just can't stop my knife and
fork
When i see a Christmas ham
so if you don't like the way i look
Well, i Just don't give a damn!
EDNA & ENSEMBLE
Cause the world keeps spinning
Round and 'round
And my heart's keeping time
To the speed of sound
I was lost til I heard the drums
Then i found my way
EDNA & COMPANY
'Cause you can’t stop the beat
Ever since this old world began
A woman found out if she shook it
She could shake up a man
And so i'm gonna shake and shimmy
it
The best that i can today
Cause you can’t stop
The motion of the ocean
Or the sun in the sky
You can wonder if you wanna
But i never ask why
And if you try to hold me down
I'm gonna spit in your eye and say
That you can't stop the beat!
(Edna, Tracy and Inez dance)
VELMA: Do something Corny. The
show is turning to Combo!
CORNY: Not a chance, Velma. This
is the future. Maybelle! Let’s go. This
is your time!
MOTORMOUTH: Yea. Alright! It’s
time to wrap this mother up!
MOTORMOUTH
Oh oh oh
You can't stop today (No!)
As it comes speeding down the track
(Oh-oh)
Child, yesterday is hist'ry (Be gone!)
And it's never coming back (Wooh)
MOTORMOUTH & ENSEMBLE
'Cause tomorrow is a brand new day
MOTORMOUTH
And it don't know white from black
ENSEMBLE
Yeah!
MOTORMOUTH & ENSEMBLE
'Cause the world keeps spinning
'Round and 'round
And my heart's keeping time
To the speed of sound
I was lost til i heard the drums
Then i found my way
'Cause you cant stop the beat
ALL
Ever since we first saw the light
A man and woman liked to shake it
On a saturday night
And so i'm gonna shake and shimmy
it
With all my might today
'Cause you can't stop
The motion of the ocean
Or the rain from above
They can try to stop ths paradise
We're dreaming of
But you cannot stop the rhythm
Of two hearts in love to stay
You can't stop the beat!
Aah, aah, aah
Aah, aah, aah
Aah, aah, aah
ALL
Ever since we first saw the sun
A man and woman like to shake it
when the day is done
But we're gonna shake and shimmy it
And have some fun
For today!
ALL
‘Cause you can't stop
The motion of the ocean
Or the rain from above
You can try to stop the paradise
We're dreaming of
But you cannot stop the rhythm
Of two hearts in love to stay
'Cause you can't stop the beat!
You can't stop the beat!!
You can't stop the beat!!
You can't stop the beat!!
You can't stop the beat!!
FIN~